Relationship-Magazine-August-2020-Edition

THE RELATIONSHIP
MAGAZINE ZIMBABWE
ISSUE 1 AUGUST 2020

POETRY: MAKE-UP
JENNIFER TIPS
ROSE WITH
TENANT EL

ENTANGLEMENT

ENTANGLEMENT

ENTANGLEMENT

WHY MODERN
AM I RELATIONSHIPS
SINGLE?
Exchange Power Leverage Strength

“

Marrying Will
Not Make You

Mature...

”

23
Page
issue

THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE
ISSUE AUGUST
Editors Note 3

.Tinaani Nick Mwakutuya Bored, Flirting, Toxic Flings 4
And Relationships In A Crises
Editor In Chief
Why Am I Single? 5 - 7
.Tatenda Magetsi You Are Not Late 8
Lessons From Will And Jada 9 - 10
Assistant Editor Modern Relationships 11 - 13
Make-up Tips With El Corner 14 - 16
.Brandon Nyahunzwi
Poetry 17
Design, Layout & Creative direc - Books And Authors 18 - 19

.tion Avant Bespoke 20 - 21
Julian King 22
Kuda Mhasvi Contact Us 23

Assistant Designer

.Kundai Zvipozvashe Ngwenya

Marketing

.Jay Delani

Marketing & Editor

EDITOR’S NOTE 3

RM

DEAR READERS

IIt gives me great pleasure to Welcome you to the first edition of the

Relationship Magazine a monthly magazine that will be centred on
building relationships. We hope you will be loyal readers and will
welcome changes to come, and are so thankful you are here reading
now. We have created this publication with the intention of providing
space to teach couples on long lasting relationships, singles on
wisdom for singleness, spreading love, healing and inspiration on
dating and relationship issues. We are grounded in sharing the views,
perspectives and stories around love relationships. The immediacy of
our publication makes it possible to be fully connected to each other to
spreading love and inspiration in ongoing knowledge construction.

Our vision is to create a high-quality publication that will be relevant
to modern relationships, challenging and thought provoking, and
inclusive of a diverse range of voices and perspectives, including rela-
tionship coaches, graduates, pastors, academic researchers, therapists,
medical doctors, counsellors. As a publication we would like to be as
transparent as possible. For this reason, we gladly welcome any com-
ments and critiques you may have as a reader. Letters to the editor are
also highly encouraged and will be considered for publication.

I am elated to furthering the mission of The Relationship Magazine
and to hear your stories

Cheers
Tinaani Nick Mwakutuya and The Relationship Staff

THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE

BORED, FLIRTING, TOXIC FLINGS
AND RELATIONSHIPS IN A CRISIS
“Some people are texting their exes, a
lot of people are doing that, or some toxic

fling they have and someone they
shouldn’t be texting

”Maybe you are alone and you But you have to remember that Do not compare yourself to

do not have anyone you are some of those relationships that them; relationships are a long

Mtalking to bear this in mind. You are going to happen during this game and don’t feel because
may right now you feel a very time some will work and some you do not have that you are in

strong sense of sadness and you will not work. And there are a disadvantaged position, it

may be looking at other people other relationships that will does not mean that what they

right now who are going happen during this time that have done this time will last so

through this with somebody shouldn’t happen. it has to be intentional and not
else. just boredom. I only ask that
That two people are bored and you’re self-aware whilst you
they just want to entertain decide to do that.
each other and after
this they will find If you are doing that, yes I am
out that their speaking to you reading this.
relationship is Do not get in with the hope of
broken at the end thinking it will progress into
of this pandemic. something more afterward
They will later because if it did not progress
find out after they get during normal times what guar-
to their normal selves antee do you have that it will
that this shouldn’t have develop during normal times.

been in the first place. Some That you take with a pinch of
people are texting their exes, a salt the closeness that you get
lot of people are doing that, or with that person now during
some toxic fling they have and this time because the progres-
someone they shouldn’t be sion in the relationship will not
texting. be a natural one it will be an

unnatural one, because of the

speed and bonding that comes

through this extremely difficult

time together that will naturally

bond you but once you get to

your normal lives you may find

that all of a sudden what was

wrong before the crisis is still

wrong after the crisis even if

you now have a stronger bond

*because of going through the

crisis together.

By Tinaani Nick

4 THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE

WHY AM I SINGLE?

SSo I know most of you are think- “When you fully invest A relationship is like building a
ing maybe it’s witchcraft, or ”in yourself, you don’t chase house, getting into a relationship
maybe I don’t have the right way without first being single for
of approaching dating. I’ll people chase you some time working and learning
approach this from a certain on yourself is like spending time
angle that you’re not really look- BEING SINGLE IS NOT A trying to build a wall, windows
ing at. I will show you a certain CURSE BUT IT’S A GIFT. and then realize that’s there is no
angle that you’re not really con- foundation.
cerned but it’ll be worth it. My people have this picture of
marriage of what it will be like, Why am I saying that being
I know some of you are saying I and jump right into it without single is a gift? It’s the only time
am tired of being single; they preparing themselves fully for or season you can build yourself
have been so many lonely nights marriage because they fill their without anyone so you can be
and lonely days and you see cou- minds with pictures of gowns, a with someone. It’s a season that
ples on Instagram with captions beautiful wife, a romantic house you can build yourself so that
like “Forever Together” I know on the lake side, with romance you’re a gift to someone.
some of you see couples like and sex everyday and perfect
Ciara and her husband and in a children. Then with little thought 1. No investor want to invest in a
world that is sort of like designed or no preparation enter the mar- place where the investor haven’t
for couples, you will be thinking, riage and expect a picture perfect invested themselves.
“Oh I am aging, I am getting to 27 marriage and when their dreams 2. If you cannot live alone you
and I am not in any relation- don’t come to pass then the reali- cannot live with anybody.
ship?” ty sinks in and divorce sets in. 3. The moment you’re Single it’s
a place of Becoming a place

THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE 5

of healing, if you are coming A MARRIAGE OR that you won’t do when you’re
from disastrous relationship, RELATIONSHIP IS married that you can do now.
growth, healing and expectation. AS GOOD AS THE Because you’ll need to be
FOUNDATION OF accountable to someone and their
The main reason why you’re YOUR SINGLENESS children as well.
Single is so that you can work on
yourself, some of you haven’t •If you build a house without •It’s so that you’re not distracted
worked on yourself so much the most of your relationships when there’s now someone.
especially men, tell me who never survive most of you Don’t spend so much time look-
doesn’t like someone successful never invested in yourself ing for someone who you want
or someone who’s mature; you when you were single it’s that you have no time to be who
see all I’m saying is when you because most of us think there’s you are.
fully invest in yourself, you don’t a problem with being single.
chase people chase you! The problem is being in a rela- •It is one of the most important
tionship without being fully seasons in your life, where you
Most of you are entering relation- prepared. get your identity, Purpose, and
ships even marriage for the you become self-aware. So can I
wrong reasons. That’s why •Know there’s a time for mar- not get identity when I’m mar-
divorce is so high during our riage and there’s a time to be ried, it’s more difficult to under-
time. If you ask someone a simple single. Sometimes society and stand who you are when you’re
reason why they married each pastors push people to be in with someone. How do you want
other that’s when you know marriage when they haven’t to know someone when you
people are just getting married successfully become single don’t even know who you are?
for the sake of getting married. people who hate themselves,
who don’t have any goal, who •It is a place you develop your-
TO THE MEN don’t have any purpose and self, you push your goals, to
sometimes even broke. When prepare yourself for marriage.
•Increase your value as a man you’re single it’s a time to work
that’s how women chase you, on your goals and achieve so •Every person has to go through
you don’t chase women when that you’re not a liability in a a season of Singleness for your
you’re the most valuable marriage. personal growth. To discover
player; women chase you when who you are, your purpose, and
you have chased yourself. •There’s difference between your assignment.
not wanting to be lonely and
•The problem is you’re chasing being single. Some people are A marriage or relationship is
women that’s why they’re not afraid to be lonely they always quality because of quality people,
chasing you. A man who has want someone around that’s it is not a quality wedding that
invested in himself fully, you when you know you’re so makes a quality marriage but
attract high quality women, the empty that you have to live rather it is quality people. Stop
problem is you’re a nobody through others. waiting for someone you want
that’s why you’re not attracting and start to be the person you’re
women to yourself. Invest in NOW LET ME TELL YOU waiting for, that’s how you can
yourself first bro! That’s how WHY YOU ARE SINGLE connect to the person you’ve
you attract quality. No investor AND WHAT YOU SHOULD been waiting for.
wants to invest in a place where
the investor haven’t invested in DO WHEN YOU ARE •Understand that it’s a bridge
themselves. SINGLE rather than a destination if you’re
someone who wants to get mar-
WHY YOU ARE SINGLE ried someday, use your time
when you’re single wisely to
•It’s a time to work on your goals develop yourself, to start your
without anyone, there are thing business, to pursue your educa-
tion, your goals and start invest-
ing now before you’re married

6 THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE

because even marriage will hate your height, you hate your flaws, knowing you made mis-
become sweeter when both of body, that’s self-hate and takes in the past. That color of
you have enough to feed your- self-love comes from loving your skin that you hate, your
selves and enough money yourself. body and your flaws. The reason
because marriage is sweeter why a lot of people struggle with
where there’s money; most mar- •If you feel you need to be in a relationships can’t tell their part-
riage problems are centered relationship to be happy then ner they love them is because
around money issues, so don’t be know you’re not yet ready for a they also don’t love themselves.
sleeping and wasting the time relationship because the problem
you have now, start developing is you want to feed off someone’s *How can you love someone with-
yourself and make sure that happiness and happiness is an
when you’re married the money inner work more than it is from the love that you don’t have?
will be there even if it’s not much outside.
but it’s enough. By Tinaani Nick

•It is a time to also be studying Marrying will not make you mature, but
and learning on marriage like maturity is what will make you marry.You
what we are doing right now. don’t need a husband to be a woman, you
You’re in this group learning need to be a woman to have a husband.
about love issues, and ask also
people that have failed marriag- You see the problem with us is
es? Yes failures in marriage we say I want to marry him
someone who has a failed mar- because he makes me happy but
riage can tell you their mistakes if you forget you marry someone
they’re sincere enough and you because you want to make them
don’t learn from your own mis- happy?
takes but other people’s mis-
takes. It is a time where you’re •You need to be alone if you’re
alone so that you can make it coming from a heartbreak. You
right. need to heal. You need to take
yourself on a journey to gather
•It is a time to work on maturity, strength, to let go of previous
it’s a broad subject and it’s a topic experiences so you do not project
for another day. It’s a time to the trauma of the previous rela-
mature so that you can be able to tionship into the next relation-
handle a woman or husband. ship. You can’t change your
future it’ll be there but you must
Marrying will not make you focus on your future and be a
mature, but maturity is what will blessing to the next person you’ll
make you marry. You don’t need meet.
a wife to be a man, you need to be
a man to have a wife. You don’t •SELF-LOVE. This is a very
need a husband to be a woman, important topic I’ll touch on it
you need to be a woman to have one day, it’s one of those topic
a husband - maturity. that can make you actually not
have a heartbreak, it’s those
•Stop rushing to get into rela- deeper truths that if you grasp
tionships when you even hate it’ll be impossible to be heartbro-
yourself? Why do you want to ken.
work on someone before you
work on yourself? You see some It’s a time to love yourself, your
of you even hate their skin, you

THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE 7

YOU ARE NOT LATE

Yes, you search for love hoping for anything less than a love that
to find someone to make you always makes you hopeful. 
complete. You’ve chosen and
changed partners, hoping thatThe moments when every love you

Yone day you find the one compa-have pinned your hopes and dreams
rable to you. Never lose hope
because somewhere and on has let you down, hold onto the
somehow someone is
searching for you. fact that there is *someone* who
“Your past relationships
DON'T RUSHmight not have worked is just right for you like
out and this might be
stopping you from find- there is someone for

everyone. Love will

see you in secret and

Love has a way of make you fall for just
locating you when the right sort of some-
you least expect it one when your time

ing the right one for you, in moments you comes. Don't rush.

but remember there is no ”never thought it One day, you will
condition for love. No wake up and remem-
matter what anyone would locate you ber all the times you
likes to suggest about doubted you would
how it’s best to settle ever find what you are
down in your twenties, looking for and how it
have kids by your thir- was too late for you and
ties, love has a way of shake your head and
locating you when smile.Because this is the
you least expect it in truth, this is what life is
moments you never made of: when you start
thought it would doubting yourself most
locate you. of all, love will come

When you feel looking for you. You

you are the last will find someone you

person amongst will look at and say,

your friends to this is my compara-

marry, don't ble helper divinely

rush. Wait for designed for my

the right kind of needs, a companion

person with a big to my loneliness. A

enough heart and the *perfect lock to my
kind of softness you
perfect key.
have a need, don’t settle
By Stephen Chidawu

8 THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE

THE touch on something powerful, the internet.
LESSONS not celebrity stunts and whatev-
FROM er, but what they have really not He went on further to say that;
WILL shied about their relationship. “We started talking about how
AND Some years ago Will Smith we got into these false romantic
JADA asked Jada a question about concepts and that we are two
what would be one of the completely different people with
“Seeking someone’s happiness biggest revelations that she’d two separate journeys even
because you are not happy had about Love, and she replied though we are in this together,
thinking you’ll take some of “You cannot make a person and her happiness was her
their happiness and plant it happy and you can make a responsibility and my happiness
”within you is wrong person smile, you can make a was my responsibility”.
person feel good, you can make
I’ll explain the story a bit; the a person laugh but whether or She calmly sat down across from
one shared on Oprah’s Maga- not a person is deeply rooted Will and explained to viewers
zine. and happy is out of your con- that August Alsina had come
trol’’. into their lives when he was
AAs one of Hollywood's most "sick" and that it felt good to be
iconic power couples, the “I retire from trying to make you able to help him. Later, when
Smiths have celebrated multiple happy, I need you to go and she and Will "were over", she
award wins, raised three kids, make yourself happy” -Will said that she and Alsina became
and jumped out of a plane Smith. He went on further to involved in an "entanglement".
together. Smith and his wife say, and this was a time when
walked down the aisle in 1997, their relationship was going “We realized that we are
and have been going strong ever through a rough patch when he responsible first for our happi-
since. Though the two have said, “I remembered the day I ness before wanting to discover
never shied away from discuss- retired, I literally said to Jada, it outside. We decided on our
ing the ups and downs of their that’s it I retire!” internal, private, separate joy,
relationship, their 23-year mar- N.B – This is from a video Will and then we are going to present
riage is a testament to how posted two years on the Internet, ourselves to the relationship and
they've managed to weather when he was saying these to each other already happy not
every storm—including a sepa- things. The video is accessible on coming to each other begging
ration—despite being in the with our empty cups out
public eye. demanding that the other feels
my cup” – The Smiths.
I’m not going to confer about the
conspiracy theories and what Notice the key words: making
not, but there’s something key her/him happy! Making myself
that I have seen by following this happy!
relationship for years and what I
discovered most of the times Will said, "We decided we were
they separate. So, I won’t talk going to separate for a period of
about if they are still together, time and you go figure out how
who cheated and what not; I’ll to make yourself happy and I'll
figure out how to make myself
THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE happy. Will also revealed that
during that dark chapter of their
marriage, he wasn't sure if
they'd ever speak again.

Lesson 1

We fantasize romance saying
things like, “I want to marry him
because he makes me happy” –
this statement sounds good but
it is not right because we

9

focus on getting our happiness fully manage to be happy alone
from someone and at the end so that you can be happy with
when we don’t get it we look for someone. This is the fantasy no
it outside the relationship and one told us about that we think a
still don’t get it hence people relationship can cure your
end up cheating. Seeking some- unhappiness until you find out
one’s happiness because you are that you can still be unhappy
not happy thinking you’ll take
some of their happiness and *even with someone trying all his
plant it within you is wrong.
You need to be happy first best.
because the moment you’re not
happy you’ll be looking for hap- By Tinaani Nick
piness outside yet it starts from
within. In my book Worth the
Wait I recommended that you
“do the work within, love your-
self, be happy first, work on
your own happiness first, some-
times we attract unhappy people
because we are also unhappy.”

Lesson 2

Happiness is an inner work, let’s
not come expecting someone to
make you happy, be happy with
yourself first and then you can
share your happiness with
someone. Jada after openly con-
fessing that she has had this
entanglement she then said I
then realized happiness I can’t
get it outside it’s more of an
inner work.

Lesson 3

Most people go on the dinner
table with their cups half full,
expecting to get a filling from
the other person. We make
someone responsible for our
own happiness. When we come
with cups that are half full, we
end up demanding to be happy
from our partner. If you’re not
happy no one will make you
happy get these lessons from the
Smiths who have had over 20
years of marriage.

Lesson 4

The reason why we said single-
ness is the foundation of every
relationship is so that you can

10 THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE

“MODERN RELATIONSHIPS :
I CONNECTIONS IN THE
COVID-19 ERA AND THE EHT NI SNOITCENNOC
S RELATIONSHIP
BUILDING OF A STORY IN A EHT DNA ARE 91-DIVOC

A NI YROTS A FO GNIDLIUB
S two people, if you look at we date now is most of us
PIHSNOITALER

things now with how our are continuously interrupt-

the parents used to date, there ing that narrative. People
was this beautiful story that will come from a date and
important parts will develop between them they are texting Chipo; one

because we are as they were in the rural they want to develop anoth-
areas and vachitamiirana er story with on Twitter,
not kurwizi and walking each Tatenda on Instagram, and

”genuinely other to fetch firewood. they have to Skype Tino

connected... But with how we are doing later in the evening. They
relationships now, you go might be seeing someone
on a date with someone and casually whilst sleeping
already as you get home with another person.
A you're swiping to find three There's this thing that will
As the year started and I or five matches on Tinder make it hard to connect to
launched my second book and this interrupts a story someone because we have
Worth the Wait, I never that's unfolding because so many other options that
thought I will be talking to within a story is where we we have so it becomes diffi-
people on what they should connect. You look at series cult to connect to someone
do with their love lives like Money Heist the reason because we constantly are
during a global pandemic, I why we fell in love with interrupting. I want to just
did not know that this some of the characters like show you the right way that
Nairobi was the story if you can do it that creates a
waiting was going to be something is given time to genuine and better connec-
real and lovers are far develop into a story it tion than the way most of
away from each other. develops into this beautiful you have been doing it.

But here we are, I have
been thinking in gener- connection this is how we There's always these ways
al before this pandemic were wired we fall in love that make it difficult to con-
about modern relation- with someone during the nect with someone because
ships in general and the development of a story. we might be entertaining
issues that have been More like the way the writ- too many people, this is a
talked about by a lot of ers of Game of Thrones downside as well as posi-
people out there, but one used that psychology of tive as well because if you
of the issues about modern how we humans are are available to a wider pool
relationships is the way that designed. of people there's a greater

sometimes it interrupts the Any romance or any rela- chance to be noticed but the
development of a beautiful tionship requires this narra- problem now is then all
story. Any relationship tive that develops between these people now dating all
requires any narrative or two people. The main prob- of them at once that's why
story that develops between lem that we have with how we are struggling to

THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE 11

connect. I would liken this to how the option we have maybe when long-distance perspective, where

for example Wadiwa Wepa Moyo we meet someone is to build a it started with a message online

was scripted—they focused the much stronger connection emo- and then to a phone call and then

story more on Noku and Man tionally getting to know one meeting up and then you had

Tawa and they were not divert- another and we have no option these long hours of texting, long

ing much attention to the story and it’s a blessing since you can WhatsApp calls and sleeping late.

we were itching to see when Ben create a much stronger emotional We can still connect and we must

Mahaka (Baba Noku) and his bond which is stronger, if you connect, and so we can still con-

wife, they took over 6 episodes to meet someone, the only option nect with someone during this

finally start developing that story you have is to talk over the phone time.

and they did not stuff us with too most of the time. During quaran- If you're single right now you still
many stories, this is how movies tine, the only option you have is have the potential to form a con-
and series are done, they develop to pick up your phone and text nection with someone and if you
each character's story and we fall each other and do video calls, and are in a relationship with some-
in love with that and then they I would argue that those text one and you can't hold hands or
introduce another character’s exchanges should graduate to feel them you can still do dates,
story later. The problem with us phone calls because this is where watch the same movie together
is developing five stories at once your real power is. Because your and then pop some popcorn and
and that disrupts a connection voice is your leverage, your some juice or pour a glass of juice
with someone you want to genu- personality is your strength so we for yourself and then wherever
inely connect with. It’s like have much time to dine and wine they pick a time and have a movie
watching a movie and you're on with someone's personality date. Get sofa dressed up and
the phone and most of the time through face time, WhatsApp chill and pick a time around 3 PM
we miss the important parts video calls; which are personal and watch a movie together.
because we are not genuinely and more connection type of Have a WhatsApp video call and
connected to this movie. exchanges.
she can point the phone at herself

Most people now are getting in So if a relationship is a story and watch a movie together, and

relationships for the wrong between two people I think from book it as a date don't just say you

reasons and quickly get physical- an optimistic point of view, know let’s just watch a movie,

ly intimate, of which the irony is during this period where there is make it an actual date "Say let's

that intimacy can become a surro- not much movement— it is an have a date how about tomorrow

gate for real connection. We interesting world right now at 8 PM or 3 PM. Have a real date

don't necessarily connect with the where the story might have a together, imagine the type of con-

person but we have this physical shorter evolving in an organic nection and bonding you have

intimacy that's posing as real way, where it’s not rushed during this time even as a couple,

emotional intimacy. It’s like a through physical intimacy. So, you will come out of this period

fast-food version of a connection what I think might happen is more bonded. There's no reason

which isn't nutritional but hap- people might get mindful of the for things to fall apart because of

pens in the absence of us getting person they're talking to. It's a what's happening right now.

to know someone. Which can chance to evolve the story and I So, as you do this you are evolv-
even get in the way of us getting would say to a lot of you right ing your story and its less inter-
to know someone. The problem now whatever your story is use rupted and this means that can
I’ve seen that happens for a lot of this as an opportunity to evolve you can evolve your story. There
people I have met is that they do your story with someone and it’s are so many ways to evolve your
not know that the connection that not rushed through physical story and develop your story
they are building is not a real one. intimacy.
together.

What we have space for right I have started relationships over
now is because of this pandemic the years that started on a Just because you are on your own

that does not mean that you

12 THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE

do not reach out to other people. You know we people and also distinguish between talking and

think that making yourself a cup of tea and then company, talking is simply picking up your

watching a movie and saying I do not need phone and have a conversation with someone,

anyone is self-love? That's not self-love that's what we are lacking is company. Company is

self-dependence that is a form of self-reli- calling without pressure, it is calling

ance. Self-love is an ability to perceive them on a WhatsApp Video call and

ourselves with acceptance. Self-love sometimes being on the screen

is the ability to look back on our whilst someone does their

life full of mistakes and regrets thing and you are doing your

and be able to forgive ourselves thing that is company. We

and not beat ourselves up, to are just calling each other

truly look at ourselves scarred MODERN when we want to talk, that's

and hurt from our past experi- RELATIONSHIPS not company you should

ences and still say I like this grow to a level where some-

person despite what I have been one sets their phone in their

through. I am happy with myself living room whilst you are

and I would not want to be anoth- seated there and do that and

er person, self-love is not mutually just be in the same room together.

exclusive to not connecting with other If there's a gift you can give to the

people, what we have to do is being self-de- person you are dating is being in the

pendent when we are alone but be able to con- same room together, just because we are apart

nect with other people that can help build our that does not mean we cannot live together in

*lives. Reaching out to other people. Talking to one room that is company. By Tinaani Nick

THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE 13

Tips With El Corner

IIf you don’t already moisturize your dition your brows, Brow Conditioner in
skin daily, im here to tell you that you’re specifific will do you good.
doing your body a great injustice. Mois-
turizing is essential, especially for the While there are many options for pur-
face which is constantly exposed to the chase in stores, i believe that at-home
weather and air quality. No matter brow conditioners work just as well, if
where you live, I recommend using a not better than store bought ones and
moisturizer with at least SPF 30 in it, to are a lot more affordable. Below are our
both keep your skin healthy and to pro- recommendations based on what your
tect it from the sun. brows need:
To condition your brows: Use coconut
Don’t be afraid to moisturize your oil.
brows either – the skin under them and
around them also needs the TLC! To condition and grow your brows:
Adding an SPF moisturizer to your
daily routine will reduce your chances USE CASTOR OIL
of premature aging, sun damage, fifine
lines and sagging skin, all of which can You can also add Vitamin E oil to both
affect your eyebrow shape. the above, for an extra boost. Vitamin E
oil helps blood circulation, in turn stim-
We know it sounds odd but think about ulating hair growth and is rich in anti-
it this way, why do we use conditioner oxidants which helps with the condi-
after shampooing our hair? Conditioner tioning factor!
makes your hair smooth and restores its Use your oil of choice at least 3 times a
natural shine. It can also strengthen the week, on clean skin and brows (more if
hair to prevent breakage and hair loss. If you need to grow your brows asap). To
you’re experiencing eyebrow hair-loss, apply, use a clean disposable mascara
chances are your brows might be in brush or your fingers.
need of some serious conditioning. BUT
you cannot use the same conditioner SHAPING AND THREADING
that you would use after shampooing –
as this is not meant for your skin and Life gets in the way sometimes and it
can cause rashes and irritation. To con- can be hard to maintain an exact sched-
ule for something like your brows.
14
THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE

I still recommend trying to LEAVE THEM ALONE KEEP THE TAIL OF YOUR
maintain as consistent a sched- To reach your full brow poten- BROW IN CHECK
ule as possible which is some- tial, EL recommends letting
thing people tend not to do. brows grow out for six to eight Overextending the tail of your
When it comes to eyebrow weeks to reach their full poten- brows can create a droopy
threading, the technique is so tial. "The longer, the better as effect, drawing your face down,
great that it can be used when that lets you see your natural making you look sad. Your eye-
even the tiniest hairs start to shape." brows naturally stop at a place
show or when your brows are USE FLICKING MOTIONS TO that lifts your face up and out,
fully grown out. The problem CREATE THE MOST REALIS- which is what you want to
with this, is that it becomes easy TIC-LOOKING HAIRS maintain. To measure where the
to neglect a regular schedule Okay, please, please, please do tail of your brow needs to end,
you can thread your brows no not fifill in your brows with one place a brow pencil diagonally
matter how long the growth is. single, heavy-handed strike of at your nostril and line it up
any product—albeit a pencil, or with the side of your eye.Where
The issue that arises is when powder, or even jell liner. the pencil hits your brow bone
you’ve achieved your optimum is where the end of your eye-
eyebrow shape – threading too Tiny hair-like strokes are the brow should end (or can be
soon or waiting too long can goal here, so you'll want to use extended to) without it looking
actually hurt the brows it’s small flicking motions to apply fake
taken you so long to perfect. If said pencil (or an angled brush
you wait too long, you can lose dipped in brow powder in the CREATE A BELIEVABLE
your shape completely and direction your hair grow. ARCH
getting your brows back to the
way you like them, may take Pointy arches = a "Hi, I look
both your Brow Artist and surprised and/or mad but I'm
yourself a lot of time. Similarly, not even!" kind of vibe. So, if
if you get your brows done too you weren't born with a high
early, it’s easy to thin out the arch but want to create a subtle
shape because you think all the one, hold a brow pencil against
little hairs need to be removed, your nostril and line it up diag-
which is not necessarily the onally with the center of your
case. My recommendation: ask eye. That's exactly where any
your Brow Artist to tell you arch should go naturally.
what the best time frame is, for
you to come. Next, take a spoolie
brush—this Duo one will
FIND A LAID-BACK SHAPE do—to help brush your eye-
brow hairs downward. Then,
Find the beginning of your with your brow product of
brows by holding a brow choice (a pencil and a light
pencil vertically at the middle touch is key here!), ever so
of each nostril and then mark slightly alter your brow shape,
that spot for later reference. creating a slight peak where
Pivot the pencil to the outside of your natural arch is. Finally,
your iris to fifind your arch, and fluff your brow hairs back into
again make a mark. To find the place with your spoolie so they
tail end of your arch, swing the fall into place and so that the
pencil until it grazes the outer arch looks natural.
corner of your eye and pencil it
in. 15

THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE

BUFF OUT ANY HARSH LINES USE CONCEALER BELOW .
YOUR BROWS INSTEAD OF
Mapping out the shape of your HIGHLIGHTER
brow with a pencil and then not
diffusing it can be a total tell-tale Outlining your brows with high-
sign that they're, well, drawn on. lighter can put too much of a
A fast fix? Create your shape by spotlight on your arches.
using tiny, hair-like strokes, Instead, opt for a concealer that's
regardless of whether you use a one shade lighter than your skin
pencil, an angled brush topped to brighten up your brow line
with brow powder, or a brow
mascara, and then use a spoolie FILL IN YOUR BROWS WITH A
to buff out any harsh lines with LIGHT APPLICATION AND
subtle back and forth motions. INTENSIFY FROM THERE

GIVE YOUR BROWS SOME As a general rule: it's always
SHAPE easier to add product but taking
away is always harder. The
Unruly, brushed-up brows are same goes for applying too
in, as you know (thank you, much brow product at fifirst,
Glossier, for making them a true which can honestly make you
thing), so I'm not referring to look entirely different—and
that type of look. What I am talk- even angry. So build your brow
ing about are unshaped brows slowly. Another key to making
that, with the help of a little your brows look darker yet
grooming slash shaping, can natural? Not getting the formula
really give more structure to you're using on your skin. If you
your face. Don't have time to see have a bald spot you're trying to
a brow expert? Use your natural fifill in, that's one thing, but if
brow shape (where most of your you're just trying to deepen your
brow hair is, is where your brow hair color overall, your
shape lies), and tweeze any best bet is a brow mascara, that
strays—these Tweezerman twee- you can lightly swipe on for a
zers are cute!— that fall outside more dramatic yet believable
of that shape for perfect arches. effect. Start at the center of your
brow when applying product to
TEND TO YOUR SPARSE avoid putting too much onto the
SPOTS start of your brow.

If you've fallen victim to If you feel like you only need to
over-plucking in the past—I amp your arches up at the begin-
have, too, it's okay—know that ning of your brow, start at the
you're not alone. To mask arch and work toward the
sparseness, fifill in any spots bridge of your nose. That way
with brow powder using an you're left with the least amount
angled brush or you can opt for of product when you reach the
a pencil. Then, groom your start of your brow, making the
brows into place with a brow application look realistic. Then,
mascara—whether clear or use that same product at the tail
tinted.
*of your brow, so it doesn't end
16
up looking uneven.

THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE

POETRYBy Jenifer Rose Tenant

FRAMED LIFE HUMAN SOUL 

My life feels like a picture Why does our human flesh;
Taken and frozen still. Hunger for such dreadful pains?
And delight when we, ourselves,
No sense of feeling from it does jump Make the victims of no self gain?
To add to this present time to fill.
   
I long for a sense of progression Tears flood down, over our lives
A climax or even a defeat. And we are the causers of this,
A change from the picture frames
Is what I really do seek. And yet we feel it our duty
  To allow the gates to remain open.
A moment, a minute, a second
 
When the framed picture is actually Now tell me, self, are you happy yet?
still. Or have I fallen short of what is to be

Where joy conveys the character's met
expressions By the very evilness, of myself,

Not a sense of misunderstood. Without a doubt,
  I fall short of these demands too.

A smile painted in abundance  
A sense of happiness and relief. And my misery is increased
For there is so much pain in this By my length as it is decreased.
And, so, my human fleshly pains and I 
world already Are left in a worse condition than
Let's not add my framed life to this
before.
*grief.  

THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE *These are the very heartily troubles
Of my human soul.
17

AUTHOR OF THE THORNS OF LIFE

Nyasha Chitavati aged 20, born in Masvingo. She’s a motivation-
al speaker, singer and songwriter and a poet. Nyasha is under
International Women In Science doing Anticancer Drug Produc-
tion Researches. Her goal and mission is mainly geared towards
women and young teenagers with the hope to see them be who
God made them be.

ABOUT THE BOOK

We all know that where there’s no pain there’s no gain. It is only
when one toils and sweats it out that success is nourished and
sustained. Life is not supposed to be just like the bed of roses. But
thorns need to be part of them and everyone needs to accept that.
As we accept the beauty side of life we should also be ready to
accept the challenges and adversities accompanied by it. They are
not there to weaken us but rather to strengthen us.

The thorns we face in our daily lives reminds one of how success
and happiness can be evasive and thus not to feel disappointed
and disheartened rather remember that the pain of thorns is
short-lived and the beauty of life would soon overcome the prick-
ing of thorns.

Life is beautiful just as roses but it has challenges that are like

*thorns and have to be faced and dealt with by all. Thorns are just

seeds that grow virtue, perseverance, character, humility, and
empathy.

18 THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE

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20 THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE

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21

JULIAN KING

Julian King born is a singer, songwriter and
performer. Julian King graduated top of his class
with an Honors Degree in Accounting from the
richly diverse Pan African Institution of Africa
University . At Africa University he worked
with Angolans, Congolese and Nigerians in
music and this enriched his diversity and crea-
tivity in the area. He has toured South Carolina,
Mississippi, Kansas and Texas raising scholar-
ships for thousands of children from disadvan-
taged backgrounds at Africa University. He
carries a unique International sound in his music
and can stretch from deep devotional worship
songs to Afropop dance tunes.

Outside of music Julian King is currently pursu-
ing a Masters Degree in Business and in music in
Dallas Texas. He remains a very down to earth
soul. In his he says, “ I want to inspire people to
be the best version of themselves” This explains
his approach to music, diverse yet always carry-
ing a positive message grounded on biblical
principles. His latest offering Rwendo shot and
recorded in Dallas Texas is an undeniable jam
and antidote for everyone facing depression or

feeling discouraged.

THE KINGDOM

Usually I’m not sure which part of my work attracted an individual to be part of the Kingdom Nation
movement. For some it was a deep worship song, others a funny meme, others a crazy love song, some
an Instagram live session.

Whatever the case may be it’s important to know the spirit behind the person who does all that. His
core values and what drives him.

Our tag line is In Pursuit of Excellence. What that means to me is that, When God created men and gave
them Dominion, there is a state of Excellence or perfection that He left them in and desired for them to
continue in.

Fast forward to today, There’s a best version of you that is spelled out primarily by the word of God.
As an individual I strive for excellence in my walk with God, in how I relate with people, in my charac-
ter, in the way I do business and in my music. I also desire to inspire people to become the best version
of themselves. To be the best in their field.

My current circle is therefore comprised of people who are either the best at something, aiming to be
the best at something or just want to be the best they can be. We are all blessed so that we may be a

*blessing to others. We are juliankingofficial on all social media platforms.

22 THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE

THE RELATIONSHIP MAGAZINE

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