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2019 Week 8 Huntingten Homies Newsletter

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Published by thadt21, 2019-11-03 03:03:28

2019 Week 8 Huntingten Homies Newsletter

2019 Week 8 Huntingten Homies Newsletter

HUNTINGTEN
HOMIES

Commentary

This week’s newsletter isn’t going to break records for quality. Chip and I both had busy weeks,
but I feel bad that the exceptional level hasn’t been present in my sections recently. Expect next weeks
newsletter to make up for that, but also do not expect a newsletter the week after that. If anything it
will be literally just the bones of a newsletter. So next week hopefully is amazing, this week is eh, and in
two weeks it should be horrible/ non existent.

I think the way games are playing out this year makes this the most exciting year of fantasy we
have had yet. There have been quite a few weeks with multiple games riding on Monday results, and the
addition of the punishment calendar only makes everyone want to win more. The results this past week
should make everyone nervous. Keep in mind that being ranked in the bottom 4 is what you do not want
and depending on results this week there are 9 different teams that could end up there next week. Chip,
Andre, and Andy look like teams that will make the playoffs, but Chip has been lucky (as you will see
later) and Andy has been very beatable. Of course, 4 (6969) teams will end up in the 5-8 range where
there is no risk of shooting a half nude calendar but also no chance of winning a trophy. Every team
should feel empowered to make the playoffs with the possible exception of Connor. Really this
“Commentary” has no direction, I just enjoy the parity we are witnessing. Also, I am nervous because 2
weeks ago there were some really bad teams, and now those teams have the same record as me.

Strength Of Schedule

If you read the commentary, then first you a real one, but also this chart is a representation of the parity
we are seeing. Ridge has had a really hard schedule and so has Stephen, but for the most part this is a
fat boy of a chart. A chart with a thin body and a fat booty and legs would be representative of some
teams really going through some tough schedules.

Alternate Schedules

Team Urchins Andre Andy Chip Connor Grant Jeffrey Hedgehogs Nick Ridge Stephen Thad
Urchins
3 44 4 32 3 44 3 2 3
Andre 5
Andy 56 5 6555 66 4 4 5
Chip 4
Connor 6 85 6 75 5 54 5 4 3
Grant 5
Jeffrey 6 7 78 76 6 66 4 6 4
4
Hedgehogs 4 3 3 32 21 32 1 3 3
Nick 5
Ridge 7 5 7 6 74 4 45 3 2 3
Stephen
Thad 3 3 5 3 3 23 44 1 2

3 35 2 44 4 4 33 3

4 44 4 54 3 43 13

6 56 6 75 6 6 54 3

2 42 4 44 2 3 2 33

3 42 2 31 1 3 2 1 23

I don’t have the mental capacity to keep telling you how to read this chart. Stephen and Urchins have
the most consistent records in the league.

Luckiness

Once again I really hope you know how to read this chart by now. In summary, Chip is looking lucky as
heck (good for Chip he deserves it), Ridge is looking unlucky as heck (he also deserves this for being a
little ho), and Stephen’s record of 3-5 is incredibly on the dot.

Andy

This portion of the newsletter will focus on comparing teams' previous week
performances to road signs that we all know.

THAD RIDGE ANDY

The dead end sign is This award is given to This award goes to the
given to the lowest the team that would team that scored the
scoring team each week. have won, if they would most points. I scored
This week, Thad scored have started the correct 164.3 pts this week. My
85.8 pts. It was a tough players. We have a back- dynamic duo is officially
result for Thad with to-back winner!Starting back and hopefully will
Brandin Cooks going JuJu or Latavius Murray lead me to the promise
down immediately and would have won Ridge land. However, it will be
J.D. McKissic hurt for the game this week. It difficult to replicate this
most of the game. As a has to be a hard pill to result with 4 players on
result, from the very swallow for Ridge bye, all of whom
beginning Thad was a knowing he would have would've started.
dead end this week. two more wins if he Honorable Mention to
started Murray over the Jeffrey for scoring 155.3
last two weeks. Slippery pts. Don't call it a
comeback.

ANDRE

This prestigious award is given to the team that got railed the
hardest. Andre is the lucky guy who got railed by myself this
week. Usually Andre avoids any railing, but he just couldn't
help himself this week. And who can blame him? Just look
into McCaffrey's eyes. The Saquon, McCaffrey, Golladay train

DK Awards

KILLER KONG – I am getting ultimately tired of Andre forcing
me into submission by crowning him Killer Kong. Andre’s
defense bends us over week to week and takes us downtown.
I am waiting for the Patriots to play some real competition
and then maybe they won’t do so amazing.

DIDDY KONG – Stephen wins this award by nature of being
the highest scoring DK that did not win. Every team that
scored the highest in their respective matchup won that
matchup. So Stephen was outscored by Chip in DK this
week. Not a strong Diddy winner though.

HAIRLESS KONG – This was a good week for DK with the lowest score
being 9 points. Sadly that was me. So it is with pride that I accept this
award. It feels good to win something.

ESPN Playoff Predictions Timelapse

You know that section of the app where it tells you where it thinks you will finish? I have been tracking
those predictions each week all season. Here is what those look like, and I understand this chart is
ridiculous, but you can maybe take something from this. So right now the ESPN projection for bottom 4
is Hedgehogs, Urchins, Nick, and Ridge. I find these very unlikely.

CHIPREDICTIONS

Week 9 predictions
Hey guys, I’m gonna keep it short this week because I’m traveling. Also, I wouldn’t be surprised if people
skimmed over this section of the newsletter. Oh well.
You know the drill.
Alvin and the Nose Rings (8-0) v. Melbourne Sea Urchins (3-5)
Line - Alvin and the Nose Rings (-1.1)
I have Kamara and Cooper Kupp on bye this week, which is not ideal. Alec has a pretty strong looking
team this week, so I think he gets the win this week and puts himself in a good spot going forward.
WINNER - Melbourne Sea Urchins
Dalvin and the Chipmunks (4-4) v. Team Nolan (3-5)
Line - Dalvin (-5.2)
Grant is currently winning by 26.6 courtesy of Kyler Murray and Christian Kirk. Grant’s team has
seemingly plateaued in recent weeks, while Nick’s has been hotter than a fox in a forest fire. I’m taking
Nick on momentum alone.
WINNER - Team Nolan

NukTown OBJYNs (3-5) v. Tanking 4 Tua (3-5)
Line - NukTown OBJYNs (-15.2)
Stephen currently leads the The Battle of the Richbarts by a score of 11.2 to 5.6. Stephen had Matt
Breida to get him his points, while Jeffrey had Tevin Coleman. What a contest. Jeffrey has turned it
around in the last few weeks, while Stephen suffered a heartbreaker last week. I think Stephen gets his
redemption win this week against Jeffrey, likely in a close one.
WINNER - NukTown OBJYNs

Master Ki-Thadi-Mundi (3-5) v. Ruffles Have Ridges (4-4)
Line - Master Ki-Thadi-Mundi (-12.7)
Ridge currently leads 4-0 courtesy of the leg of Robbie Gould. This matchup is interesting because both
teams have boom or bust potential. Thad’s team has been hit hard by a string of bad luck, while Ridge’s
team has had some difficulties with consistency. On team strength alone, I think Ridge takes this one.
WINNER - Ruffles Have Ridges

Richard Sherman (2-6) v. Davante’s Inferno (6-2)
Line - Richard Sherman (-1.6)
Connor is currently leading this matchup 24.2 to 2, thanks to a big night from Emmanuel Sanders and a
not-so-big night from the 49ers defense.The two biggest surprises of the season in my opinion. Andre is
without his ace in the holes in the Pats D/ST this week, which could make things interesting. That being
said, I don’t see the upset here.
WINNER – Richard Sherman

GAME OF THE WEEK
Daddy’s Darlings (5-3) v. Huntington Hedgehogs (4-4)
Line - Daddy’s Darlings (-5.5)
Matt is currently leading this matchup 19.9 to 5, thanks to his big performance from George Kittle,
compared to a decent outing from Zane Gonzalez for Andy. This matchup is all about implications. Andy
should make the playoffs, but his seeding is in question right now. Matt could still be in the hunt, but he
needs a strong performance this week to confirm that. It’s hard to bet against Andy, but I’m going to this
week.
WINNER - Huntington Hedgehogs

POWER RANKINGS

1. Chip
2. Andy
3. Andre
4. Ridge
5. Grant
6. Hedgehogs
7. Nick
8. Urchins
9. Jeffrey
10. Stephen
11. Thad
12. Connor

Comparisons

I am falling back on the very first comparison to do NBA teams part 2. If you recall to a year ago, I was
able to impress you all with just a couple sentences of justification. Since both NBA teams and fantasy
teams have changed, I feel comfortable returning to this comparison. Also no shade is intended by not
comparing Hedgehogs and Urchins week in and week out, but to my knowledge neither of them read
the newsletter so why should I waste creative power. If Hedgehogs or Urchins are reading this let me
know and I will start comparing you.

Chip – Philadelphia 76ers

Chip has gone undefeated and become the best team in the league, so it seems to make sense that I
give him the best NBA team in the league. The only team to be undefeated. Another thing he has in
common with the Sixers is that they will both make the playoffs, but they wont win in the finals.
*Gasp Prediction*

Andy – San Antonio Spurs

Andy’s team, for the most part, has been all about consistency. Off the top of my head, I believe Andy
has been in the top four of the power rankings in every week they have existed. That is much like the
Spurs record of winning. No matter who is rostered they stay competitive and get in the playoffs. Two
glaring differences is that they Spurs are a quiet team and Andy is not quiet, and the Spurs lack star
power which is very present on Andy’s team.

Andre – Denver Nuggets

The Denver Nuggets are probably going to win a lot of games. They are a really deep team that will
finesse their way into the 1 or 2 seed. That speaks to their depth and front end talent. On the topic of
depth it makes me mad that Andre said he needed a RB2 when he literally has Derrick Henry in that slot.
He says that when I started the Lions 4th string RB last week. SERIOUSLY Andre?? My main comparison
here is that the Nuggets/Andre will be a regular season success but when it comes time to play for
Championships they will fold as always.

Ridge – Sacramento Kings

This is not a reference to expectations, but instead to reality. The Kings have been surprisingly
disappointing in the early stages of the season. Personally I expected them to be better than last year
and be competing for the 8th seed in the West. It is still possible, but they are digging a hole. Ridge’s
team should be better than 4-4. Its surprising and disappointing, and if he wins a couple that he should
have won then we don’t have a playoff race really. It should really be Ridge, Andre, Chip, and Andy. But
instead of that, we all have chances.

Grant – Phoenix Suns

I am sure Grant’s reaction was at first “WTF” then he cleverly thought, bUt ThEyRe 4-2. True. The Suns
don’t really look like a good team on paper and especially by management, but the record has reflected
success so far. Even the losses have been close, but raise your hand if you think the Suns make the
playoffs. *crickets* None of you raised your hands because even if you think they will make the playoffs
you still didn’t feel like raising your hand in an empty room. Honestly Grant could rattle off a couple wins
and steel even the 2 seed. But my heart tells me not to believe it.

Nick – Washington Wizards

At this point I can’t award playoff teams to these 3-5 fo-contenders. Nick, much like Bradley Beal is
capable of earning a couple Ws, but they can’t take a team to the playoffs, at least not with the way the
roster is currently constructed. There is not incentive to tanking in our league, but if Nick could find a
clever way to re-tool and get some improved keepers then it is about time to do it.

Jeffrey – Indianapolis Pacers

Now the Pacers are pretty much a playoff team, but they are currently in the 9 seed slot. But looking at
the short season so far, you’d expect the Pacers to be better than this. Maybe you think “well they don’t
have Oladipo”, but they got the 5 seed last year without Oladipo at the end. With Jeffrey’s roster you’d
expect so much more. And with the Pacers, especially after adding Brogdon, you’d also expect much
more.

Stephen – Golden State Warriors

Stephen entered the year with maybe a top 3 roster. He had 2 top 5 wide receivers, one of which was
supposed to be a part of a fun high powered offense. That fell flat. In fact, just about every expectation
Stephen had 8 weeks ago is evaporated. I do not feel bad for the Warriors, and I don’t really feel bad for
Stephen either. Stephen should not finish last, and I don’t think the Warriors will either. The Warriors
will take care of Steph’s injury for as long as they can but with league rules they wont be able to keep
him out all season. So they will have to get better late in the season. Stephen should also be nearly
forced to finish strong (win a couple more games) statistically.

Thad – Orlando Magic

I choose the Magic because in my view they are probably the least offensively threatening team in the
league. Maybe the new Warriors challenge that notion. The Magic are pretty boring, and while they are
healthy now, they will almost certainly lose a starter to an injury as they typically do. You gotta have
some sympathy for a team who had keepers of Antonio Brown and Kerryon Johnson.

Connor – Brooklyn Nets
It’s kinda crazy how many close games Connor has been in, all of which he has lost. Connor’s team does
look pretty good for the most part. He is just about 15 points away from being 5-3. But he cant win close
games. The Nets are going to win some close games because every game will be close, but right now
they are 2-4 and those games have been close. I am not sure they will make the playoffs, and really
Connor is just playing not to get last.

If you are still reading, DON’T FORGET it is No Nut November. Challenge yourself to resist urges and
resist granting yourself instant gratification. It has only been 2 days, but I know 80% of my house is still
the “Master of their domain” (Seinfeld Reference: In 2009 this was ranked the greatest TV episode of all
time. All the characters have a bet to see who can go the longest without masturbating.) Be the master
of yours.


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