Published and Distributed Weekly by PassTimes of Arizona, LLC - [email protected] - 480.983.9143 Vol. 22 Issue 17 Rights Reserved © 2024 Oil on Fish Students at school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish. One 11-year old wrote, "When my mom opened a can of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead." GOD IS HOME A 5 year old, outside looking at the stars one night with her Grandmother, suddenly exclaimed, "See Grandma? God's home! All his lights are on!" What Kids Learn In School A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No, said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
I'VE MADE IT FROM THE BED TO THE COUCH. THERE'S NO STOPPING ME NOW THE BREAD OF LIFE NEEDS NO BUTTER
AMERICAN'S WORK THE EQUIVALENT OF ONE MONTH MORE NOW THAN THEY DID IN 1975 FRUIT IS GOD’S CANDY 1. MOVIES: Which dramatic film features the character "V"? 2. GEOGRAPHY: Luzon belongs to which island nation? 3. LANGUAGE: What is the Latin phrase for "before the war"? 4. U.S. STATES: Which state has the most national parks? 5. LITERATURE: Which 1950s novel includes the line, "Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road." 6. CHEMISTRY: What kind of gas makes a drink bubbly? 7. TELEVISION: Which sitcom features a mom named Debra Barone? 8. MUSIC: What was the former name of the English band Muse? 9. SCIENCE: What are the gaps between nerve cells called? 10. THEATER: Who wrote the play "The Crucible"? Answers 1. "V for Vendetta" (2005). 2. The Philippines. 3. Antebellum. 4. California, with nine. 5. "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac. 6. Carbon dioxide. 7. "Everybody Loves Raymond." 8. Rocket Baby Dolls. 9. Synapses. 10. Arthur Miller. (c) 2024 King Features Synd., Inc.
THE BEST PRIZE THAT LIFE HAS TO OFFER IS THE CHANCE TO WORK HARD AT WORK WORTH DOING - T. ROOSEVELT * On April 29, 2004, the World War II Memorial opened in Washington, D.C. The granite and bronze monument stands on 7.4 acres on the former site of the Rainbow Pool at the National Mall, between the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial. * On April 30, 1993, tennis player Monica Seles was stabbed between the shoulder blades by Gunter Parche during a match in Hamburg. Parche, a fan of German tennis star Steffi Graf, apparently hoped that by injuring Seles, his idol would be able to regain her No. 1 ranking. * On May 1, 1963, Gloria Steinem published the first half of "A Bunny's Tale" in SHOW magazine, recounting her brief stint as a Bunny in Manhattan's Playboy Club. Steinem's undercover reporting revealed a culture of misogyny and exploitation behind the glamorous facade of Hugh Hefner's empire.
SOMEDAY ALL PAIN AND FAILURE WILL BE OVER AND WE WILL BE WITH JESUS FOREVER * On May 2, 1924, Patrick Mahon was arrested at London's Waterloo train station on suspicion of murder. He was executed later that year for killing his pregnant mistress, but an important innovation resulted from the crime scene: The officers, who had no gloves, were forced to handle the victim's remains with their bare hands. After the investigation, rubber gloves became standard equipment at murder scenes. * On May 3, 1980, 13-year-old Cari Lightner of Fair Oaks, California, was walking to a church carnival when she was struck and killed by an out-of-control car driven by an intoxicated Clarence Busch. Her death led her mother, Candy Lightner, to found the organization Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), which would grow into one of the country's most influential nonprofit organizations. * On May 4, 1776, Rhode Island, which was founded by the most radical religious dissenters from the Puritans of Massachusetts Bay Colony, became the first North American colony to renounce its allegiance to King George III. It would also be the last state to ratify the new American Constitution more than 14 years later. * On May 5, 1816, the first published poem by John Keats, the sonnet "To Solitude", appeared in the London journal The Examiner. Keats' sadly brief but overall brilliant span of work includes "Ode on a Grecian Urn," "La Belle Dame Sans Merci" and "Ode to a Nightingale." (c) 2024 King Features Synd., Inc.
WORRY LESS & SMILE MORE SPREAD LOVE EVERYWHERE YOU GO. LET NO ONE EVER COME TO YOU WITHOUT LEAVING HAPPIER - MOTHER TERESA YOU WILL NEVER GET THERE IF YOU NEVER START
DON’T WORRY IF PLAN 'A' FAILS, THERE ARE 25 MORE LETTERS IN THE ALPHABET SOCIETY’S REJECTS HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN GOD’S HEART THE FACE OF THE LORD IS AGAINST THOSE WHO DO EVIL
IF YOU SUFFER FOR DOING GOOD AND YOU ENDURE IT, THIS IS COMMENDABLE BEFORE GOD YOU DIDN’T COME THIS FAR TO ONLY COME THIS FAR
TOO MANY OF US ARE NOT LIVING OUR DREAMS BECAUSE WE ARE LIVING OUR FEARS - LES BROWN SHORT IS THE JOY OF THE WICKED! A Catty Caddy * Golfer: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long" * Golfer: "I'd move Heaven and Earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try Heaven, you've already moved most of the Earth. * Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving"? Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now." * Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on." Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago." * Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old." Caddy: "Well, it's has been a long time since we teed off, sir."
SOMETIMES GOD DOESN'T CHANGE YOUR SITUATION BECAUSE HE'S CHANGING YOUR HEART A Catty Caddy - 2 * Golfer: "How do you like my game"? Caddy: "Very good, sir, but personally, I prefer golf." * Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday"? Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day." * Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron"? Caddy: "Eventually." * Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so, sir. That would be too much of a coincidence." * Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch. It's too much of a distraction." Caddy: "It's not a watch, it's a compass."
SPIRITUAL KNOWLEDGE IS PECULIAR TO THE CHILDREN OF GOD ANSWERS: 1) Old 2) Nehemiah 3) Holy Spirit 4) Isaiah 5) Solomon 6) John (the Revelator) "Test Your Bible Knowledge," a book with 1,206 multiplechoice questions by columnist Wilson Casey, is available in stores and online. (c) 2024 King Features Synd., Inc. 1. Is the book of Jeremiah (KJV) in the Old or New Testament or neither? 2. The villains Sanballat and Geshem are only mentioned in which book? 2 Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther 3. From Ephesians 5, what did Paul recommend as a substitute for wine? Water, Laughter, Love, Holy Spirit 4. Who condemns drinkers who start early in the morning? Job, Isaiah, Ezra, Esther 5. Which king had 1,400 chariots and 12,000 horsemen? David, Jehoash, Solomon, Neco 6. Who wrote the book of Revelation? John, Jude, Matthew, Peter
SOMETIMES GOD DOESN'T TELL US HIS PLAN BECAUSE WE WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT ANYWAY SUBMIT YOUR SELF TO GOD - JAMES 4:7
Compensation for Service-Related Conditions Service-connected injuries and conditions for which you can receive compensation can be either physical or mental. But there's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to how much compensation you can receive. Whether it's hearing loss or depression, or cancer or PTSD, each one has a different rating, which results in a different level of compensation. The Department of Veterans Affairs disability rating you are assigned after being approved is based on the severity of your condition. Your compensation will be based partially on that and partially on whatever else might increase that compensation, such as having a family or a disabled spouse, or if you've suffered severe disability or loss of limbs. And from there it gets even more complicated. It's possible for your rating to change over time if your condition worsens, but even when combining multiple ratings (conditions) it's nearly impossible to reach 100% disability. Increasing your final rating by combining smaller ratings (for multiple conditions) is difficult because there are rules, charts and math to consider. There is combining the numbers, converting, rounding up or down to the nearest 10. For example, you can't take a 20% rating and a 60% rating and come up with an 80% rating. In this case, the actual combined rating equates to 68%, but it's rounded up to 70% ... because the chart says so. Combining three or more disabilities is even more complicated. And nowhere on that chart is a rating of 100% disability. A 100% disability rating, if given, can be temporary (until your condition clears up or gets better) or permanent if given for severe conditions such as blindness or loss of limb. But reaching that level without those severe conditions is difficult enough that whole legal websites across the internet are devoted to that one effort: getting a 100% disability rating. To wade through the disability compensation ratings and benefits, go to www.benefits.va.gov/compensation/rates-index.asp#howcalc. The ratings calculator can be found at www.va.gov/disability/ about-disability-ratings. The VA is currently taking 158 days to make decisions about claims. (c) 2024 King Features Synd., Inc. A COMEBACK IS STRONGER THAN A SETBACK SOMETIMES I JUST LOOK UP, SMILE AND SAY, “I KNOW THAT WAS YOU. THANK YOU.”