Published and Distributed Weekly by PassTimes of Arizona, LLC - [email protected] - 480.983.9143 Vol. 23 Issue 11 Rights Reserved © 2025 JUST KIDDING, JOEY “Oh, no!” the kangaroo groaned to her friend, “the forecast calls for rain.” “What’s the problem with that?” asked her friend. “We could use the rain.” “Sure,” the kangaroo said. “But that means the kids will have to play inside all day!” STOP DOING THAT! A poor peasant was traveling through the forest one day when a man dressed in green leapt out of the trees. “HALT! I am Robin Hood, I take from the rich to give to the poor, now give me all your money!” Truthfully the peasant replied, “I have nothing!” The man in green said, “You poor man, take this.” He handed the man a sack filled with gold coins, and then faded back into the forest. The peasant stares at the gold coins and shouts, “I’m Rich!” “HALT!” … came a voice from the forest
AUTO REPAIR SIGN: IF WE CAN’T FIX YOUR CAR, WE’LL PUSH IT INTO A LAKE AND SAY WE NEVER SAW IT
ATTENTION DRAMA QUEENS…. NO AUDITIONS TODAY TURN TO GOD, SO THAT YOUR SINS MAY BE WIPED OUT, SO THAT TIMES OF REFRESHING MAY COME FROM THE LORD IF LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, TAKE THEM, FREE STUFF IS COOL 1. LITERATURE: Who lives at 4 Privet Drive? 2. TELEVISION: Which 1980s sitcom featured the Keaton family? 3. U.S. PRESIDENTS: Who was the first American-born president? 4. COMICS: What is Deadpool's profession? 5. AD SLOGANS: Which makeup company's slogan is "Maybe she's born with it"? 6. HISTORY: Which battles marked the beginning of the American Revolution? 7. INVENTIONS: The 1904 World's Fair introduced which fluffy confection? 8. MOVIES: In which year were the first Oscars awarded? 9. MEASUREMENTS: What does 1 gallon of water weigh? 10. GEOGRAPHY: What are the colors of the Italian flag? Answers 1. Harry Potter and the Dursley family. 2. "Family Ties." 3. Martin Van Buren, born after the Revolutionary War. 4. Mercenary. 5. Maybelline. 6. Battles of Lexington and Concord. 7. Cotton candy. 8. 1929. 9. 8.34 pounds. 10. Green, white and red. (c) 2025 King Features Synd., Inc.
ME: I’M DONATING MY BODY TO SCIENCE. SCIENCE: WE’RE DONATING YOUR BODY TO GOODWILL... * On March 17, 1905, future president Franklin Delano Roosevelt married Eleanor Roosevelt, his fifth cousin once removed, in New York. Former President Theodore Roosevelt gave away the bride. * On March 18, 1911, composer Irving Berlin obtained the copyright for "Alexander's Ragtime Band," a multimillion-selling hit that helped turn American popular music into a major international phenomenon. * On March 23, 1839, the initials "O.K." were first published in The Boston Morning Post. An abbreviation for "oll korrect," a popular slang misspelling of "all correct" at the time, OK steadily made its way into the American vernacular. * On March 19, 1957, Elvis Presley arranged to purchase the Colonial mansion on the outskirts of Memphis called Graceland for $102,500, with a cash deposit of $1,000. It is still preserved exactly as Elvis left it when he died in 1977 and is one of America's most popular tourist attractions -- the second-most-visited house in the nation after the White House.
WHEN PROBLEMS COME INTO YOUR LIFE LIKE RAIN, REMEMBER THAT GOD WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR UMBRELLA * On March 20, 1345, according to scholars at the University of Paris, the Black Death, aka the Plague, was created from "a triple conjunction of Saturn, Jupiter and Mars in the 40th degree of Aquarius," though it was actually carried by fleas that typically traveled on rats. It cut a swath across Europe, the Middle East and Asia during the 14th century, leaving an estimated 25 million dead in its wake, and popped up periodically until the 1700s, but never again reached epidemic proportions. * On March 21, 1980, President Jimmy Carter announced that the U.S. would boycott the Olympic Games scheduled to take place in Moscow that summer, after the Soviet Union failed to comply with his Feb. 20, 1980, deadline to withdraw its troops from Afghanistan. Four years later, in retaliation, the Soviet Union boycotted the 1984 Olympic Games held in Los Angeles. * On March 22, 1983, the Pentagon awarded a production contract worth more than $1 billion to AM General Corp. for the development of 55,000 high mobility multipurpose wheeled vehicles. Nicknamed the Humvee and designed to transport troops and cargo, the vehicles were used by the American military during the 1989 invasion of Panama and the Persian Gulf War in the early 1990s. (c) 2025 King Features Synd., Inc.
I HAVE MIXED DRINKING ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS JESUS DENOUNCED THE TOWNS IN WHICH MOST OF HIS MIRACLES OCCURED, BECAUSE THEY DID NOT REPENT TO DOUBLE THE VALUE OF MY OLD CAR I FILL IT WITH GAS
REPENT AND TURN TO GOD REPENT OF ALL YOUR SINS BEFORE GOD WHAT'S THE BEST THING ABOUT SWITZERLAND? I DON'T KNOW, BUT THEIR FLAG IS A HUGE PLUS
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HIPPO AND A ZIPPO? ONE IS REALLY HEAVY, AND THE OTHER IS A LITTLE LIGHTER CONSIDER HOW FAR YOU HAVE FALLEN! REPENT
EXAGGERATIONS HAVE BECOME AN EPIDEMIC. THEY WENT UP BY A MILLION PERCENT LAST YEAR NO WAY! *“I don’t want to get married,” a woman says to her mother, “I’m an educated woman. I don’t need a husband. Why do you keep pushing me to marry”! Her mother replied, “I know you’ll achieve great things in your lifetime, but remember, things will not always go the way you want. Things will inevitably go wrong, and you will fail, your plans won’t work, your dreams may fail. When that happens you’re going to have to take the blame”. Shaking her head vehemently, the woman replied “No Way!” “That,” her mother said, ”is exactly why you need a husband”. NO WAY! *A barber gave a haircut to a priest. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “No way! You do God’s work.” The next morning the barber found 12 bibles on his doorstep. Then a policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused to pay, saying, “No way! You protect the public.” The next morning the barber found 12 doughnuts on his doorstep. A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, “No way! You serve the law!” Next morning the barber had 12 lawyers on his doorstep.
$ 275 $ 475 $ 1900 I HAVE NOT COME TO CALL THE RIGHTEOUS, BUT SINNERS TO REPENTANCE - JESUS TRAVELING TOGETHER? During check-in at airport for a long-haul flight, the airline clerk said: “I am sorry sir, the flight is really full today. We couldn’t give you and your wife adjacent seats. Your seat number is 42B and you wife’s is 22C.” The husband jokingly said, “Do I have to pay extra for this favor?” Smiling, the clerk said, “No sir, your wife already paid.” SILENCE IS GOLDEN A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years. Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?” And the lady said, “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
WHOEVER CONFESSES THEIR SINS AND RENOUNCES THEM FINDS MERCY ANSWERS: 1) Old 2) 100,000 3) Jehoiada 4) Valley of Slaughter 5) Shaphat 6) 127 Comments? More Trivia? Gift ideas? Visit www.TriviaGuy.com. (c) 2025 King Features Synd., Inc. 1. Is the book of Lamentations (KJV) in the Old or New Testament or neither? 2. In 1 Kings 20:29, how many footmen (soldiers) of the Syrians were killed in one day? 5,000; 10,000; 50,000; 100,000 3. Who made the first "piggy bank" by placing a chest with a hole in it near the altar? Ezra, Jehoiada, Ahab, Jethro 4. From Jeremiah 7:32, what did the Lord say that Tophet will be called? Syria, Valley of Slaughter, Galilee, Mount Zion 5. Who was the father of Elisha? Josiah, Shaphat, Zadok, Joshua 6. In Esther 1, how many provinces did Ahasuerus reign over? 11, 90, 127, 140
I COULD NEVER DATE A TENNIS PLAYER. LOVE MEANS NOTHING TO THEM GOD’S KINDNESS WILL LEAD YOU TO REPENTANCE
IF IT IS NOT TRUE DO NOT SAY IT - MARCUS AURELIUS GOD IS THE SOURCE OF ALL POWER. PRAYER IS ESSENTIAL TO EXPERIENCING HIS POWER IN OUR LIVES HOLES IN THE FIDUCIARY PROGRAM The Department of Veterans Affairs' Fiduciary Program is set up to help veterans take care of their finances and benefits if they can't handle it themselves because they're sick, injured or elderly. There is a lot of money at stake: $2.7 billion in a recent year. Each of the hundred thousand veterans who fall in the category of needing assistance are assigned a fiduciary, someone who protects the veterans and their finances. The VA's Pension and Fiduciary Service, which manages the fiduciaries, is tasked with ensuring the proper handling of veterans' affairs through in-person examinations, fiduciary accountings and investigations into misuse. All goes well with this arrangement ... until it doesn't. A recent VA Office of Inspector General report details what they found when they investigated the Fiduciary Program. Over 300 veterans and their financial affairs were not being monitored or supervised by the Fiduciary Program for three years and in some cases longer. The hole in the system was because the program had no way to identify veterans who were in need of fiduciary services or because their records did not move from one system to the other, the Veterans Benefits Management System--Fiduciary (VBMS-Fid), after need was determined. Which left a whole lot of money out there without oversight: in excess of $24 million. A fiduciary is required to submit written reports about how the veteran's money is being spent, and those reports are reviewed by program staff. In the event there's a question, the fiduciary must clear it up. Failure to do that constitutes misuse, and an investigation is supposed to follow. If you are a veteran who has a fiduciary managing your benefits and if you suspect that person is not acting in your best interests, let the VA know. Call them at 800-827-1000 to report possible fraud and misuse of your benefits. Or call the VAOIG hotline at 800-488-8244 to make a complaint. For a flyer about the VAOIG's crime alert, put "Protect Vulnerable Veterans from Fiduciary Theft" in a search box online. (C) 2025 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.