Published and Distributed Weekly by PassTimes of Arizona, LLC - [email protected] - 480.983.9143 Vol. 22 Issue 15 Rights Reserved © 2024 MY DOCTOR is So Good That... * If you tell him you want a second opinion, he will go out of the room and come in again. * While he was talking to me his nurse came in and said, "Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he is invisible." The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him." * Another time a man came running in the office and yelled, Doctor,, my son just swallowed a roll of film." The doctor calmly replied, "Let's just wait and see what develops." * One patient came in and said, "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem." The doctor asked, "When did it start?" The man replied, "When did what start ?" * I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears. His advice: Don't answer it. * My doctor sure has his share of nut cases. One said to him, “Doctor, I think I'm a bell." The doctor gave him some pills and said, "Here, take these if they don't work, give me a ring." * When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, he told me to stop going to those places.
THOSE WHO SOW PEACE WILL REAP A HARVEST OF RIGHTEOUSNESS IN MY CAT’S WORLD—I’M JUST HERE TO OPEN THE CANS
OUR NATION DOESN'T NEED WHAT WE HAVE…IT NEEDS WHAT WE ARE , OR HAVE WE FORGOTTEN WHAT THAT IS? THE LORD IS NEAR TO ALL WHO CALL UPON HIM 1. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: When did April Fools' Day come into being? 2. GEOGRAPHY: In which nation is the Great Victoria Desert located? 3. MOVIES: What sport is featured in the movie "The Mighty Ducks"? 4. HISTORY: What is the name of the island where Napoleon was exiled in 1814? 5. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What is the largest rodent in the world? 6. LITERATURE: What is the name of Ron Weasley's pet rat in the "Harry Potter" book series? 7. U.S. STATES: Which letter of the alphabet is not in any U.S. state's name? 8. TELEVISION: Which iconic 1960s sitcom inspired two spinoff hits, "Petticoat Junction" and "Green Acres"? 9. U.S. PRESIDENTS: Which president was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross for bravery in WWII? 10. ANATOMY: How many pairs of spinal nerves exist in humans? Answers 1. Likely in the late 16th century, when calendars changed from Julian to Gregorian. 2. Australia. 3. Ice hockey. 4. Elba. 5. Capybara. 6. Scabbers. 7. Q. 8. "The Beverly Hillbillies." 9. George H.W. Bush. 10. 31 pairs. (c) 2024 King Features Synd., Inc. I’M SORRY, DID I JUST ROLL MY EYES OUT LOUD?
WHAT IF NOBODY WAS PRESIDENT AND WE ALL PROMISED, REAL HARD TO JUST BE COOL * On April 16, 1964, The Rolling Stones' debut album, "The Rolling Stones," issued in the U.S. as "England's Newest Hit Makers," was released. The band consisted of lead singer Mick Jagger, rhythm guitarist Brian Jones, lead guitarist Keith Richards, bassist Bill Wyman and drummer Charlie Watts. * On April 15, 1945, British troops liberated the German Bergen-Belsen concentration camp, where they discovered thousands of rotting corpses, and many more thousands of sick and starving prisoners confined to severely overcrowded and dirty compounds. The prisoners were suffering from acute typhus, typhoid and tuberculosis due to a lack of running water. More than 30,000 others had died in the previous months, many from typhus, but even more from starvation. * On April 17, 1985, the U.S. government announced a campaign to increase organ donation awareness with the hope of making the procedure as widespread as donating blood, following similar campaigns from other countries around the world as organ transplants became more common.
THE LORD IS RIGHTEOUS, JUST AND SOVEREIGN ; THE UPRIGHT WILL KNOW TO SEEK HIS PRESENCE * On April 18, 1997, major floods in Grand Forks, N.D., caused by the Red River's breaching a dike, necessitated the evacuation of 50,000 residents from their homes. In some areas, only the roofs of their houses were visible. * On April 19, 1897, the world's oldest annual marathon run took place for the first time. Today the Boston Marathon ranks among the world's most prestigious road racing events, with an average of 20,000 participants, and is one of five members of the World Marathon Majors, which also include the cities of London, Berlin, Chicago and New York. * On April 20, 2008, Pope Benedict XVI visited Ground Zero in New York, the scene of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks on the city's Twin Towers, at the end of his six-day tour of America. He greeted survivors, fire and police workers, and relatives of some of the 2,749 people who died at the scene, and prayed for the rescuers and victims, as well as "those whose hearts and minds are consumed with hatred," before celebrating Mass at New York's Yankee stadium. * On April 21, 1918, Baron Manfred von Richthofen, the German ace pilot popularly known as the "Red Baron" and credited with 80 confirmed air combat victories, was killed in action during World War I. (c) 2024 King Features Synd., Inc.
“WE TEND TO GET WHAT WE EXPECT” - N. PEALE MARVELOUS IN THE EYES OF MAN IS CHRIST’S FORGIVENESS OFSINS IF I SPOKE MY MIND, I’D BE SPEECHLESS
WE MAKE A LIVING BY WHAT WE GET, BUT WE MAKE A LIFE BY WHAT WE GIVE - WINSTON CHURCHILL THE LORD IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL TO BE THANKFUL IS TO BE HUMBLE
A WHOLE NEW SOCIETY IS BEING MOLDED BY THE COMPUTER AND THE NEW FRONTIERS IT OPENS JESUS GAVE US SPIRITUAL LIGHT
“HE WHO FEARS HE WILL SUFFER, ALREADY SUFFERS BECAUSE HE FEARS” – MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE New rules for bowling If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs". When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can't make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the "Designated Bowler" rule. After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say "Kings X" and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, "Fair is Fair". If your ball goes in the gutter and jumps back onto the lane, knocking down pins, by golly, you get them! That's much harder than to knock them down the conventional way. Good bowling should be recognized. A ball should be declared dead when you bowl 3 games without a strike. It shall be the owners privilege to decide on the disposition of said dead ball - Burial at Sea, dropped from an airplane over a live volcano, or a simple burial in a city park. For a small fee, a league officer can be bribed to deliver a short eulogy.
THE LORD KNOWS THE THOUGHTS OF MAN; THEY ARE A MERE BREATH Eat Me! - Food Trivia ● Animal Crackers - In total there have been 37 different animals since 1902. The current crackers are tiger, cougar, camel, rhinoceros, kangaroo, hippopotamus, bison, lion, hyena, zebra, elephant, sheep, bear, gorilla, monkey, seal and giraffe. ● Some of the foods used by the Aztecs at the time of the Spanish arrival were chocolate, vanilla, corn, chili peppers, peanuts, tomatoes, avocados, squash, beans, potatoes, sweet potatoes, pineapple and papaya. ● Cornmeal Flatbread by any other name - Johnnycakes, Johnny cakes, johnnycake, ashcake, battercake, corn cake, cornpone, hoecake, hoe cake, journey cake, mush bread, pone, Shawnee cake, jonakin, and jonikin are all regional names for cornmeal flatbread. ● Lemonade is thought to be an Egyptian original-at least according to the earliest documentary evidence. Sources say that lemon juice mixed with sugar was sold around the year 1104 in a Jewish community in the Egyptian city of Cairo.
THE LORD MAKES FIRM THE STEPS OF THE ONE WHO DELIGHTS IN HIM - PSALM 37:23-24 ANSWERS: 1) New 2) Ravens 3) 11 4) Centurion 5) Paul (1 Timothy 6:10) 6) Beeri Sharpen your understanding of scripture with Wilson's Casey's latest book, "Test Your Bible Knowledge," available in bookstores and online. (c) 2024 King Features Synd., Inc. 1. Is the book of Acts (KJV) in the Old or New Testament or neither? 2. From Proverbs 30, what will pluck out the eyes of anyone who scorns their parents? Demons, Ravens, Doves, Quails 3. How many times is the word "apple" or "apples" mentioned in the Bible (KJV)? 2, 11, 37, 51 4. From Matthew 8, what Roman official asked Jesus to heal his servant? Marshall, Governor, Centurion, Jailer 5. Who wrote, "The love of money is the root of all evil"? Timothy, Isaiah, Moses, Paul 6. Who was the father of Hosea? Uzzah, Beeri, Joash, Ahab
THE TRUE MEASURE OF A POLITICIAN IS HOW THEY TREAT SOMEONE WHO CAN DO THEM ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD JESUS WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU
THE OIG IN OUR CORNER You hate to learn of it, but per a Department of Veterans Affairs Office of Inspector General (OIG) report, a former veteran who worked at a VA hospital was found guilty of stealing money out of patient accounts. It came about when the sister of a deceased veteran checked her brother's account and discovered the missing funds. An investigation showed that the thief was stealing from accounts where the veteran was unable to appear in person at the cashier window to withdraw money due to illness and tried to blame the missing funds on someone using fake identification. All he got for his crimes was six months in jail and six months with an ankle bracelet at home. An elderly veteran lost his foot due to deficient podiatry care. The whole sorry mess involved defective specialty diabetic shoes, blocked blood flow to the leg, a patient fall due to the shoes, lack of patient education, lack of communication among staff ... and ended with amputation of the patient's foot. There was enough blame to go around, but nobody to throw in jail. The podiatrist didn't adequately instruct on the proper fitting of the shoes. The fall wasn't correctly reported because the safety officer was new. It could not be determined who did/didn't warn the patient about possible amputation. And so on. But not all OIG investigations are so serious. There was the VA employee auction of VA property, which was for the purpose of gathering funds for employee activities and parties. When purchasing agents placed orders for supplies, sometimes there were freebies or incentives sent by the manufacturer when the order was large enough. The employees would then auction off the extra goods, which were government property. It appears that the auctioning of the freebies had gone on for many years, with nobody admitting to the OIG that the vendor was selected because of the freebies they would get. The bulk of the free goodies were big-name expensive coolers. (c) 2024 King Features Synd., Inc. WAR IS A GRIM, CRUEL BUSINESS – EISENHOWER THOSE WHE DENY FREEDOM TO OTHERS DESERVE IT NOT FOR THEMSELVES - LINCOLN