Copy of Dirty Dozen Delight 2021

DIRTY DOZEN DELIGHT 2021

Featuring:
2020 Review
GM Polls
2021 Team Previews
GM Spotlight

and more!

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LCeotmtemriFsrhom the

Will 2021 return the "normal" to a post-Covid fantasy world?

3- Season
Review

It's good to be writing to you idiots once more with more normality 37- GM
than we've had the year and a half before. Even if it is a new normal, I'm Spotlight
eager to head into a new chapter and another season of fantasy football.
45- Jory Time
I love how everyone rolls with their own philosophy as a fantasy gm. We've
got some folks who take their time, are highly selective, and would rather sit Season Review 3
on their eggs and watch them hatch. Some mangers like to take a little bit
of an offseason and get away from it all only to jump back in rejuvenated. Team Previews 5 - 44
Then theres a few psycho degenerates who can't get enough of it and
you've heard too much from the last few months. We love all the styles, but The Archives 9
there is only one thing that won't fly and that's disengagement.
New Rules 10
Stay engaged! When a Wilson bullies you in the group chat, bully him back
(R.I.P. Mikey "Curley Fry" Pittario). Holler back at folks and tell them you're DDD Awards 15
not interested in their terrible trade offer. And lawd, let's make sure we're
setting our lineups and keeping an eye on things. I know life get's busy, but Rookie Draft Recap 19
months of being out of the league is avoidable. Our culture has been great,
the league is in the full swang of thangs, and inactivity is the only thing that GM Polls 29
could poo poo in the fudge bowl and mess things up.
GM Spotlight 37
As always, if you guys have any suggestions, want to talk about slipping out
of the league, or have any questions at all, hit me up. It is a joy to get lost Jory Time 45
in this world with you goobs - 2020 was weird, confusing, and isolating, but
this league has been a sweet distraction that gets to act as a fun and
consistent connection. Let's get back to what we all love as we laugh at
Josh's team and hook up to the I.V. that is the Red Zone channel on a
Sunday.

Good luck this year everyone.
Much Love,
Joe

Dirty Dozen Delight } 2

2020 Season: In Review

circumPrecision Passers takes home the 2nd DDD Championship

Overview others gearing up for the draft. The layout
of the league remained murky, but
2020 will go down as one of the weirder surviving Covid and having another year
years of fantasy football that we'll have. under the belt was a win for all of us.
Not only was the entire NFL in Covid
mode, with multiple games being post- Regular Season
poned + players getting the bug, but it was
also only our second season of doing The regular season was dominated by the
dynasty and we are still figuring things Pork Belly Queen himself, Jory, as his
out. There's something kinky about it all squad went a league record 12-1, he made
and the uncertainty of what philosophy is a HUGE mid-season trade involving Kelce
best is what makes the rat race to a and Saquon, and he further established his
championship that much more fun (aka league role as a 6th grade bully that is
kinky = good). We saw nearly double the acutely aware that he hit puberty before
trades that led some folks going for it and anyone else.

Dirty Dozen Delight | 3

The rest of the playoff spots were a Championship between Joe and Jory, Alvin

blood bath as Joe's circumPrecision Kamara and his 6 Christmas Day

Passers led the league in scoring and slid touchdowns trumped Jory and his rough

in at the 2 seed, followed by Kyle and call to play 3 game rookie starter Jaylen

Drew at the 3 and 4. A battle broke out Hurts over the QB1 Josh Allen. Ouch. The

between Beavs, Brent, Etu, and Spence semi finals and finals had HUGE scoring

for the 5 + 6 seed. Due to a stat outputs and it was a fitting end to a

correction that cost the Beaver a win, heavyweight season between two giants.
Brent was able to jump into the 5 seed
and Etu nabbed the 6 seed after having Stand Outs
the advantage of playing Josh and Dylan
4 times throughout the season *eye roll The standout performers from this year were
emoji*. The First King never truly dies.
Josh Allen turning things around at QB,

Kamara and the championship game of a

lifetime at RB, Davonte and his insane TD

efficiency at WR, and Kelce with the MVP

Playoffs season as he dominated at TE. It's interesting

The theme of the playoffs was decision to note that each of those players other than

making; managers had to make tough,, Allen was traded in the last two years. We
gut check calls to their starting lineup that also saw some shocking rookie blowup
ended up being the difference in THREE seasons from highly doubted Justin Herbert
matchups. Kyle was knocked out in the (QB9), no name (James Robinson (RB6), and
1st round by Etu after deciding to roll 4th wr off the board Justin Jefferson (WR5).

with budding Justin Herbert over 2019 Offseason + Wrap Up

MVP Lamar Jackson. Brent lost to Jory So the championship ends and one might think,
by .84 (thats a 3 yard catch or an 8 yard "Hmm I got time now to enjoy the offseason
rush...) after starting Kareem Hunt over and check back on this league in a few
Benny Snell, who got the start for the months". Ohhhhh boy did we learn how wrong
Steelers that week and put up 18 points. that was (for most people). Once the season
And finally, in the seemingly inevitable ends, a new game begins - the dynasty
offseason. Filled with a beacoup amount of

trades and an in person draft that saw all, but 2

people attend, anyone not engaged in the

league was just gettin left behind! To wrap it

up, something beautiful happened this year: the

league established itself. Many of us felt like

once we do dynasty this way, theres no other

form of fantasy that quite scratches the same

itch. I only expect the wheels to spin even

faster and am grateful for what 2020 was. I

also was unemployed and studying and want to

Dirty Dozen Delight | 4 say thanks for the needed $800 everyone.

Beaver's and the Sluts

2021 Projected Roster Strengths

Dirty Dozen Delight | 5 The manager who deems himself "Nice Beaver" while
calling his own team Beaver's and the Sluts had a
2020 season that echoes his 2019 season - a solid team
that put up a lot of points, but narrowly missed the
playoffs. Despite having the 3rd most points scored
after two seasons, Beaver hasn't been to the dance that
is the playoffs yet and this offseason he said "enough
is enough". He joins his older brother in the camp of
"who f*****g cares about draft picks" as the Beauties
dish off some youth and adds a medley of Win-Now
talent in Dalvin Cook, Chris Godwin, Chris Carson,
and Russell Wilson. Beaver's greatest strength is
running back as he rolls 5 deep with youngins'
D'Andre Swift and Javonte Williams shoring up the
bench. He's got Russell Wilson and George Kittle as
cornerstones at their positions and has the high upside
play of Jalen Hurts on the bench in case he becomes
unbenchable (like in last years championship game
@Jory). This is a team that officially made the leap
into the elite top tier of the league and has joined the
top dawgs. To anyone who is skeptical over whether
or not to "go for it", the Beaver's team and the way he
made moves this offseason should be a blueprint to
spring up from the middle of the pack.

Weaknesses

This is a team that doesn't have a lot of holes, just one
big stinky A hole as the manager (hehe). Beavs has
done a great job of putting together a team that is
ready to compete. The questions about this roster
should most likely be 1) WR Depth and 2) Draft Pick
shortage. While the running backs run 4 or 5 deep on
this team, the wide receivers are thin. The only legit
bench receiver is Odell Beckham Jr., who has played
like six games in the last four years and still enjoys

giant dumps on his chest. Maybe there is plan to flip a running back 2020:
at some point, but it will be really interesting to see what Wilson #2 6-7 (7th Place)
does if any of his top 3 wr's have a bye week/get injured. Plus those
top 3 guys all have questions around them - How will Amari Cooper History
and Chris Godwin do with two other stud pass catchers next to them?
And what does AJ Brown's season look like on a Titans team with a 0
new offensive coordinator and Julio joining him. They should be
solid for the most part, but each will probably have some dud weeks. Record:
The draft pick shortage shouldn't be a huge deal, especially if this 11-13 (.458)
team is able to grab a championship than who cares. But if the next
two years are swings and misses for the Beavs, it might prove Playoff
difficult to reload and recover. Appearances:

Season Prediction: 10-4 0


I think we're going to see these little sluts get off to a hot start as the Playoff Record:
Beaver lucks out by playing Jordan and Dylan twice this season. I do N/A
think that we see some tough play from the wide receivers on this

team, but there is so much talent here, that it might not matter. Don't Total Points
be suprised if this team finishes 1st and takes home the ship. Scored:
3027.16 (3rd)
GM Outlook

Best Placing:
"Beaver gonna buss cheeks" 7th
- Uncle Beavs

Worst Placing:
7th

circumPrecision Passers

2021 Projected Roster Strengths

Dirty Dozen Delight | 8 What a joy it is to write about this team to all of
you from atop of my throne. That's right, the
inevitable happened and the circumPrecision
Passers won the 2020 championship and coasted
into the offseason ready to run it back. Surely, not
many changes would be made to a championship
roster, right? Wrongo. The top team from last year
made a lot of moves in the offseason and sent out
key pieces like Nick Chubb, Michael Thomas,
Deebo Samuel, and others in order to march into
the regular season adding God incarnated Christian
McCaffrey, Calvin Ridley, DK Metcalf, Antonio
Gibson, and others. This team's starting squad is
loaded with players in their primes like Kamara,
Ridley, and Tyreek Hill, as well as young studs on
the up and up like Kyler, Gibson, DK, and CEH.
The bench is a couple deep at each position with
notable players being Robert Woods, Mike Evans,
and Dallas Goedart. The blend of winning now and
later is what makes this squad the cream of the crop
for, hopefully, years to come.

Weaknesses

There are "potential weaknesses" to every team and
this team is no exception. Injuries are such a large
part of fantasy and if a couple of key players on the
circumPrecision Passers get bit by the injury bug,
the outlook of this team could change. The most
shallow position is quarterback. Kyler is a fantasy
star, but the bench consists of Carson Wentz,
Jimmy G, Ryan Fitzpatrick, and Tyrod Taylor - all
of which are injury prone or just not very good.
Will this be a problem?

The other potential weakness is that "win now" players see regression 2020:
and the "young studs" just aren't quite ready. There always seems to 10-3 (1st Place)
be widely accepted opinions in the fantasy community that turn out to
be dead wrong. If this happens with a couple of players on my roster History
(i.e. Gibson/CEH aren't ready, DK was a fluke, Kamara drops off a
cliff, CMC's injuries affect is ultimate play), then in a few weeks we 1
could be laughing at how unstoppable we thought this team was going
to be. The best fantasy analysts have about a 60% successful
prediction rate, so who knows what the season has in store.

Season Prediction: 11-3 Record:
19-7 (.731)
What we saw last year is how much the scheduling matters and who
plays who twice a year. This year, I face Spencer, Etu, and Brent Playoff
twice, meaning it shouldn't be a cake walk as all 3 were middle of the Appearances:
pack last year (maybe itl'l be different with Etu). If this team stays
healthy, there should only be a couple of teams that can compete on a 2
weekly basis, but that is a big "if". Given the roster, anything short of

a championship appearance would be considered a dissapointment. Playoff Record:
2-1
GM Outlook

Total Points
"I am glad I got a Championship while I was Scored:
unemployed and single because as my life goes 3368.78(1st)
up with law school and a relationship, my

fantasy life goes down. Some say it's worth it, I Best Placing:
say...tbd." - Ol' Commish Joe 1st


Worst Placing:
3rd

The Archives
(Adjusted without Kickers)

Most Points in a Season:
1667.6 - circumPrecision Passers (2020)

Most Points in a Game:
178.64 - circumPrecision Passers (Week 2, 2020)

Longest Win Streak:
10 - Pork Belly Pigs (2020)

Fewest Points in a Game:
38.70 - The Cliffland Cliffers (Week 12, 2020)

Longest Losing Streak:
12 - The wet wee wees (2020)

Dirty Dozen Delight | 9

New Rules

Alrighty, this quick hit is for anyone who really IF things get really bad and a game is
gets off on knowing where to push pencils. To canceled, we will resort back to our rule
honor the ghost of Mikey, lets go over some from last year of designating to the league or
rules and take note of things that have changed commissioner who the manager would add
for the upcoming season. as a replacement for any possible game
cancellation. We'll reiterate this if it comes
No More Defenses to fruition.

The defenses have finally joined kickers and Scoring Changes
will no longer be on any active starting
rosters. No longer will teams have to waste All rushing and receiving 1st Downs are
roster spots on 5 backup defenses, but we now worth .5 points. Hello, change.
really get to focus in on the evaluation of In order for a player to lose 2 points for a
players vs. the projection of entire fumble, he needs to fumble AND the
defenses/schedules. defense needs to recover the fumble.

Post-Covid Adjustments Scheduling

We have adjusted our IR positions BACK to The NFL added an extra week this season,
the original 2 spots after having 10 spots for so our fantasy playoffs will adjust
the potential Covid designation. With Covid accordingly and will be starting Week 15
still in the mix, we are resorting to a "tough instead of the traditional Week 14.
titties" mentality and players will have to be
able to adjust if the bug rolls through their Thats all you nerds, thanks for your votes
roster, but hopefully the league escapes that. and suggestions. Back to the fun stuff.

Dirty Dozen Delight | 10

Dark Meat McFreakies

2021 Projected Roster Strengths

Cliff enters 2021 hoping to bounce back after two
rough seasons. The wonderful thing about Cliff, is that
right when you think he hates this league and won't
respond for 4 more months, BOOM* a trade has been
completed and he has mixed things up. And boy does
he shake it up. This offseason Cliff traded away
George Kittle and Stefon Diggs and ended the
offseason adding Adam Thielen, Mike Davis, Tyler
Higbee, Zach Moss, and Robert Tonyan amongst
others. The theme of Cliff's approach has been that he
finds value in the players who are good NOW and
might be out of the league in a year or two. I respect
the play and it has me rooting for some of the aging
vets on his squad to go off. For the 2021 season, Cliff
is deep at running backs who you'd feel good about
starting with Miles Gaskin, Mike Davis, Darrell
Henderson, Melvin Gordon, and James Connor. He
also has awesome tight end depth with Tyler Higbee,
Logan Thomas, and Robert Tonyan and should not be
in trouble at that position. The pearls of Cliff's team
however, reside in Miami with two young hopeful
breakouts in Tua Tagovailoa and Jaylen Waddle. And
without a shadow of a doubt, this team has the greatest
team name in the league and it is not very close.

Weaknesses

Every player in fantasy football has a range of possible
outcomes. The difference in "market value" is the
perceived a) likelihood of positive outcomes v.
negative outcomes and b) potential high and low for
said outcomes or "ceilings and floors" of the
possibility. I think that Cliff's team has a lot of players
who COULD be sweet and it exists in their range of
outcomes. However, I think their is a lot of murkiness

in the possible outcomes of Cliff's players in 2021, but especially 2020:
beyond. The WR's on this team are thin and he could use a couple of 4-9 (9th Place)
additions to gain depth here. Darkmeat McFreakies are also missing a
bonafied stud - someone who is an anchor and guaranteed to have History
consistent production at an elite level. As Cliff always does, expect
him to be hiding in the shadows and strike when the moment is right. 0
Also, Cliff smells like poo (this is just a test to see if he'll ever read
this and is definitely not true).

Season Prediction: 4-10 Record:
7-19 (.269)
I think that Cliff's team can string together some good games and he is
one of the lucky few that get to play Josh twice. Unfortunately, the Playoff
McFreakies also go up against Kyle and Jory twice and it should be Appearances:
tough sledding from there. One of the more difficult teams to predict
and certainly a team I'm often rooting for, I have Cliff being a couple 0
games out of the playoff spot and hopefully gathering players, to

acquire for next season. Playoff Record:
N/A
GM Outlook

Total Points
Cliff could not be reached for comment... Scored:
2514.72 (11th)


Best Placing:
11th


Worst Placing:
12th

Boys Boys Boys

2020 Projected Roster Strengths

Dirty Dozen Delight | 13 Drew is one of our managers who takes the goodies
that he has and holds onto them, hoping that they'll
turn into gold under his skinny lil' cheeks. While he
likes to take his time off in the offseason, Drew's
team enters 2021 with a ton of talent and the
absolute chance to compete. His strengths are the
elite players he has in Dak Prescott, Aaron Jones,
Ceedee Lamb, and the 2020 MVP Travis Kelce. I
want to go on public record and say Drew, I was
wrong about that Saquon + Kelce trade last year, the
dude was a beast in a way that makes him one of the
most valuable assets in all the land, despite Saquon's
"in-theory" talent. Drew's got great WR depth with
Kenny Golladay on his bench behind Julio Jones,
CeeDee Lamb, Tyler Lockett, and Brandin Cooks.
His QB/TE depth is also awesome with Tannehill
coming in behind Dak and Gronk backing up Kelce.
I love Drew's team, I love the way that he manages
differently than others, but his team is really good,
and I love Drew. Good luck sweet Drew, I hope
things go well for you this year.

Weaknesses

Boys Boys Boys has got some great talent, but also
some question marks, specifically at the running
back postion. Drew has Aaron Jones as his number
1...but then it drops off of a cliff a bit with Ronald
Jones (2.5 other quality rb's on the roster), J.D.
McKissic (no Alex Smith + looks to be third
stringer now), and then a medley of 4th round
rookie Michael Carter, freshly cut Latavious
Murray, and freshly cut Davonta Freeman. This is a
problem because not only are running backs the

most difficult position to replace in our league, but they are also the 2020:
most injury riddled position. Meaning if Drew bumps into any 8-5 (5th Place)
underperformance or injuries at the position, it could spell disaster
for his roster. He could make some moves to grab more depth, but History
knowing Drew, this might not be the most probable outcome.
Hopefully he can have a similar situation to last year when James 0
Robinson fell into his lap, but I think this will be his achilles heal of
an otherwise stellar team. Record:
13-13 (.500)
Season Prediction: 7-7
Playoff
I think Drew has a good but not great season and this time, ends up in Appearances:
the playoffs on the backs of his TE play and WR depth. There are a
few teams that might not be in the top tier of rosters, but have a solid 1
shot at getting hot at the right time and making a run at the 'ship and

Drew's Boys Boys Boys are one of them. Playoff Record:
0-1
GM Outlook:

Total Points
“My therapist says I need more Scored:
practice at losing in life so I 3017,50 (4th)
become less afraid of failure. I

don’t think she knows I’m in this Best Placing:
league.” - Cute Drew 5th


Worst Placing:
10th

DDD Awards

2021

DDD MVP:
Travis Kelce - 36 points more than
TE2, 108 pts more than TE3.

Best QB:
Josh Allen - 387 pts (24.19 ppg)
The Pork Belly Pigs

Best RB:
Alvin Kamara - 335 pts (22.3 ppg)
circumPrecision Passers

Best WR:
Davante Adams - 300 pts (21.43 ppg)
The Pork Belly Pigs

Dirty Dozen Delight | 15

Best TE:
Travis Kelce - 259 pts (17.27 ppg)
Drew's Cute Boys

Most Valuable Rookie:
Justin Herber - 325 pts (21.67 ppg)
The Pickle Ticklers

Waiver Wire Pickup of the Year:
James Robinson - 223 pts (15.93 ppg)
Drews Little Cuties/Fountain of Youth

Most Improved Team:
Jory Wilson's Pork Belly Pigs
2019: 7-6 (5th place)
2020: 12-1 (2nd place)

Dirty Dozen Delight | 16

Bishop Sycamore

2021 Projected Roster Strengths

Alright, so more than any other team, is a true
mystery to me. Etu has gone from stacked
champion with 4 core RBs in 2019, to tight end
loving strange team who snuck into the playoffs
and beat Kyle in round 1 and finished 4th in 2020,
to LOADING up on draft picks and Patrick
Mahomes only to trade Mahomes and draft picks
for 2 rookie QB's and Noah Fant and Deebo...Etu,
come jump on the podcast with us and tell the
people whats been going on! Heading into 2021,
the artist formerly known as Dyno has got a squad
with youth and qb depth. He moved off of the
tight end faze and now moves into some solid
WRs with Deebo, Robby Anderson, Mike
Williams, Corey Davis...a bunch of fellas who
aren't young, but aren't old and could help a team
compete. Etu traded two firsts and Jerry Jeudy
for J.K. Dobbins, who sadly tore his ACL not
much later. Now The First King has put Najee
Harris on the block. Will he keep his "middle
age" WRs or will he move them all? One thing
that I know for sure is that when it comes to this
team, I know nothing and could never predict
what moves will be made and which direction it'll
be heading in even just 1 month. It is nice to
know Etu is alive after disappearing for 3 months,
but it all just adds to the mystery. Touche King.

Weaknesses

I honestly don't know if QB is a weakness or a
strength for Etu, with Zach Wilson and Trey
Lance anchoring the position. If he were clearly
tanking, I think this would be a strength, but if my

Dirty Dozen Delight | 17

man is going to try and compete this year at some point, then these 2 2020:
probably won't get the job done. I also am not crazy about Noah 7-6 (4th Place)
Fant, with a million other pass catchers on a generally meh Broncos
team with shaky QB play. And after Dobbins went down, Etu could History
use some RB depth as he holds onto his never-fading hope, that Tony
Pollard will some day be worth the $39 that he was purchased for in 1
the original startup draft.
Record:
Season Prediction: 3-11 15-11 (.577)

Because I never know what he will do next, it is hard predicting a

season total for Etu's squad. I really think if it is left as is, we could Playoff
see some competitive weeks, especially later in the year when the Appearances:
younger guys have a chance to get more acclimated. Bishop
Sycamore unfortunately goes up against Brent, Myself, and Spencer 2
as his double dippers, and I think that could spell trouble after being

fortunate enough last year to get Josh and Dylan twice. I think we'll Playoff Record:
see a couple of surprises, but that IF Etu leaves his team as is, it will 4-1
be a losing season.

Total Points
GM Outlook Scored:
2794.32 (7th)
"Keep em guessin. "

- "The First King" Etu Best Placing:
1st


Worst Placing:
4th

Reviewing the Ooooo daddy, what a draft we had this year. For the fist
time in Dirt Dozen's history, league members gathered
2021 together and had an in-person rookie draft in the most
Rookie beautiful part of the bay area - GIlroy, Califrornia - Garlic
Draft Capitol of the World.
At some point, a draft actually happened in the middle of
Dirty Dozen Delight | 19 trade orgy. Much like an orgy, it was tough to tell whose
parts belonged to who and if any of us loved it or just
couldn't bear to miss out on all of the action. But damnit
was it legendary. We've gone over all the trades in a
couple of Podcast episodes, so let's focus in here on the
picks. Oh, and we added a 4th round this year!

Draft Day Winner - Etu (?)

Unlike last year, it was tough to declare a clear winner. As
always, only time will tell who comes out a fantasy stud, but
Dyno was working with the most firepower and without
including trades, he has some serious juice moving forward.

He added Najee Harris (1.01), Trey Lance (1.08) Zach
Wilson (1.12) Terrace Marshall (2.04), and Amon Ra-
St.Brown (2.07). It will be interesting to see how it all pans
out.
Honorable mentions- Dylan and Beavs (aka the Cute Wilsons)

Lets recap the rest...

1.01 - King of the trashmen (Dyno)

Najee Harris, RB - Alabama

In a huge move, Dylan traded back to the 1.05 from the 1.01 and scooped up Mahomes
in the process. Dyno moved up and took the top running back on most rookie draft Big
Boards. Najee should be the 3 down back of a hopefully revamped Pittsburg run game.

1.02 - The wet wee wees (Dylan)

Travis Etienne, RB - Clemson

Dylan then took his 1.05 and another pick to move up to 1.02 and draft Travis Etienne.
Etienne is on a weird Jaxonville team, but tragically suffered a season ending foot injury
that hurts his chances of developping early on in his career. Tough break for the Diddler.

1.03 - The Beavette's (Beaver)

Jamar Chase, WR - LSU

An analytics darling, Jamar Chase comes off a year in which he sat out entirely due to
Covid and reunites with his college qb in Cincinatti. Chase set the NCAA on fire in
2019, and should be a stud if he can refind that same form alongside Higgins and Boyd.

1.04 - Peachy Collins (Spencer)

Kyle Pitts, TE - Florida

Spencer moved up from 1.07 to pick 1.04 in order to take the generational TE prospect
Kyle Pitts. Pitts joins an Atlanta Falcons team that is undergoing an identity change with
no more Julio and a new head coach. Can he meet the insane hype around him?

1.05 - Cliffland Cliffers (Cliff)

Jaylen Waddle, WR - Alabama

Cliff moved up to the 1.05 and grabs the 2nd WR in speed demon Jaylen. Often
comped to Tyreek Hill, Waddle enters into a potentially budding Miami offense with time
to develop next to Davonte Parker and Will Fuller. One of the big "boom or bust" players.

1.06 - The Beavettes

Javonte Williams, RB - North Carolina

Beaver grabs his (at the time) much needed RB in power running back Javonte
Williams. Williams was a two headed monster with Michael Carter and looks to do the
same as he joins Melvin Gordon in a hopeful Denver team.

Dirty Dozen Delight | 20

1.07 - Peachy Collins

DaVonta Smith, WR - Alabama

Spencer gives up a future 1st and 2nd rounder in order to move up and grab his second
SEC pass catcher off of the board in Heisman winner DaVonta Smith. Smith is a small
but shaky reciever and it will be interesting to see if his game translates to the NFL.

1.08 - Transformers(Josh)

Trevor Lawrence, QB - Clemson

Josh, starting his rebuild once more, finally gets in on the draft and makes his first pick
with stud Trevor Lawrence. The golden boy might have the highest floor of any rookie
QB with potentially the highest ceiling. Obviously, Josh has already traded him, so yeah.

1.09 - King of the Trashmen

Trey Lance, QB - North Dakota

If Lawrence has the highest floor, this QB might have the highest ceiling. Dyno took
Trey Lance with the 1.09 and hopes that the rushing upside in a sexy 49ers offense is
transcedent at the position. Does Dyno love Lance or is he just a loyal fan? Probs Both.

1.10 - Lukewarm Cheese(Brent)

Justin Fields, QB - Ohio State

An unexpected first round QB run occurs as Brent locks in on the 3rd QB off the board,
Justin Fields. Fields could be sweet with rushing upside as well, but it feels odd that the
fantasy owners and NFL GM's seem to have split decision on if he is a franchise QB.

1.11 - circumprecision Passers (Joe)

Rashod Bateman, WR - Minnesota

In an interesting move in which Dyno swapped out this pick for Deebo Samuel, I moved
in and chased some upside. Another WR talent that analytics love, Bateman goes to a
Baltimore offense with low passing volume, but in need of a true WR 1. Will it be him?

1.12 - King of the trashmen

Zach Wilson, QB - BYU

Juuuuuuust when you thought the QB thirst had gone, Dyno suprised us all by replacing
freshly departed Pat Mahomes with his second 1st Round QB in Zach Wilson. Another
difference in NFL vs. Fantasy evaluation, Wilson was pick 2 in the NFL, but QB 4 for us.

Dirty Dozen Delight | 21

Round 2

2.01 - wee wees 2.02 - Transformers 2.03 - Passers 2.04 - Trashmen

Trey Sermon - RB Rondale Moore - WR Elijah Moore - WR Terace Marshall - WR

2.05 - Passers 2.06 - Cliffers 2.07 - Trashmen 2.08 - Drews Boys

Kedarious Toney - WR Amari Rodgers - WR Amon-Ra St. Brown - WR Michael Carter - RB

2.09 - xSwaggy J 2.10 - Cheese 2.11 - Beavette's 2.12 - Peachy

Mac Jones - QB Pat Freiermuth - TE Chuba Hubbard - RB Dyami Brown - WR

Dirty Dozen Delight | 22

Round 3

3.01 - wee wees 3.02 - Transformers 3.03 - xSwaggyJ 3.04 - Cliffers

Rhamondre Stevenson - RB Nico Collins - WR Kenneth Gainwell - RB Tutu Atwell - WR

3.05 - Cliffers 3.06 - Pigs 3.07 - Ticklers 3.08 Drews Boys

Kellen Mond - QB D'wayne Eskridge - WR Tylan Wallace - WR Kylin Hill - RB

3.09 - xSwaggy J 3.10 - Cheese 3.11 - Pigs 3.12 - Transformers

Jermar Jefferson - RB Javian Hawkins - RB Josh Palmer - WR Cornell Powell - WR

Dirty Dozen Delight | 23

Trying to figure out how to
deal with a stinky furburger?

Big Ol'
Douche

Introducing

The Big Ol'
Douche

This league has got way too many Smelly Jelly holes
and only a couple of Douches. Protect yourself.
Buy online Today

Chancellor Palpetine

2021 Projected Roster Strengths

Dirty Dozen Delight | 25 What is there to say? Josh has gone from scoring
the 5th(!) most points in 2019, to undergoing a
complete rebuild at the beginning of 2020, to
building up a squad with 5 or so stud muffins
including Dalvin and CMC by the middle of the
offseason, and finally, deciding to completely burn
down the house once more and re-rebuild. The new
and improved philosophy has included scooping up
13 first and second round picks and nabbing flyer
WRs like Jakobi Meyers, Marquez Callaway,
Rondale Moore, Elijah Moore, Darnell Mooney,
Jalen Reagor, and Quez Watkins. He has no value
left to squeeze out except for milking whatever he
can get for Jamaal Williams. We won't be able to
see what type of results this radical approach can
have, but the man feeds off of potential, training
camp hype, and draft picks. Not too many folks
capitalized on Josh selling his elite studs, as rookie
hype and fever may be entering an all time high in
this league, but I want to just say from the bottom
of my heart and soon to be $800 moneybag...Thank
You Josh.

Weaknesses

I don't know how to even evaluate this roster
given that there are only a couple of relevant
fantasy guys for this upcoming season. Josh's
young tight end Irv Smith Jr, is out for the year.

Rashod Bateman starts the year on injured
reserve and Elijah Moore was struggling with an
injury until late into training camp. So the young
promise that he has is going to have to wait even
longer until it can blossom into the great
production that Josh is hoping for. Time will tell.

This is a bad team. But, a bad team on a mission. 2020:
4-9 (11th Place)
Draft Picks
History
There isn't much to talk about on this team other than the draft picks.
And woooo baby, are there some draft picks. Josh is now flipping 0
good 2022 picks for average 2023 picks as he tries to load up for a
class that has highly talked about running backs. We've seen this Record:
dance before, as Josh got all done up for the 2020 draft with 5 first 6-7 (.462)
rounders only to flip ALL of them before draft weekend started and
then trade every player he received for those 5 picks. Will he have

the patience to make it to 2023 and this time cash in on his 6 first Playoff
round picks that year? Idk, but at this rate Josh might be able to draft Appearances:
Drew's kids when they enter the NFL draft and Josh is finally capping
off his rebuild. 0


Season Prediction: 0-14 Playoff Record:
N/A
This is what Josh wants and I think this is what he will get, especially

after he trades away Jamaal Williams. If you play Josh multiple times Total Points
this year, you get 2 free bingo spaces. Scored:
2,597.02 (10th)
GM Outlook:

Best Placing:
“I’d like to personally invite 8th
everyone to my 2023 draft party,

where my ascension will begin” Worst Placing:
- Josh "The Architect" Chamberlain 8th

Peachy Collins

2021 Projected Roster Strengths

Dirty Dozen Delight | 27 Spencer "Peachy" Collins enters the 2021 season at a
fork in the road after an impressive offseason a year
ago. Peachy currently has a roster that he has turned
around beauuutifully from the team he inherited and
puts out a starting squad that is quite nice. He blends
a couple of win-now pieces with Aaron Rodgers,
Nick Chubb, and Matthew Stafford, with a bunch of
young guys who have more hype than history.
Jonathan Taylor and Kyle Pitts lead a team, both of
which are towards the top of their positions in
dynasty rankings but have little to no history of
producing. Will they crush? Will Laviska and
Davonta Smith blow up the way Spence hopes? If
they don't, does his team have enough fire power to
contend? Idk the answer to any of these questions,
but as of now Spence is rolling into the season as is.
It will be interesting to see if he is a buyer or seller
come deadline time and which names could be on the
move vs. which names he missed that "hype" window
on. I love what he's done, love the QB/RB depth,
love the sneaky good moves, and will be waiting with
a jumbo bag of popcorn to see what this goob is up to
as the season progresses.

Weaknesses

Spencer shaved off his greatest weakness, running
back, this offseason when he moved DK Metcalf
and got back the steady betty Nick Chubb. He
also moved a couple of picks in order to get back
Josh Jacobs (pre Kenyan Drake deal) and he
looks solid at the position. Where Spence could
use some depth is at the WR and TE spots. The
situation there is reflective of the outlook of this

team - if the young guns hit, he should be NICE and if they 2020:
don't...2022 might be the year. He added Kyle Pitts to take the lead 6-7 (8th Place)
role with second stringers Hayden Hurst and Zach Ertz as the
backups. If Pitts isn't the guy yet (or God forbid at all) will Hurst get History
enough production there? At WR, the Atlantian has got DJ Moore to
anchor the position followed by youngster Davonta Smith and 0
Laviska Shenault. The nice thing here is that Spencer has nagged a
couple of boarder line flex starts to have just in case in Jarvis Landry Record:
and Michael Gallup, but once again will it be enough? And why can't 10-16 (.385)
I stop talking about this team in the form of questions?


Season Prediction: 7-7 Playoff
Appearances:
Peachy Collins has a mixed bag of double dippers with
circumPrecision Passers, Bishop Sycamore, and Brady's Kiss being 0
the three teams he plays twice. I think he'll have a couple of huge

outings and will have steady floor from the RB position, but the Playoff Record:
youngsters will come with some off weeks for sure. I've got him N/A
hovering right around the playoffs and competing to get in IF he

leaves his team where it is at. Total Points
Scored:
GM Outlook: 2641.04 (8th)


“Just short of the playoffs..again.” Best Placing:
- Spencer "Peachy" Collins 8th


Worst Placing:
11th

GM2P0O2L1LS

Which Team is most likely to win the 2021 Championship?

Top Voted - circumPrecision Passers (9Votes)

Others votes - People's King of Love (2)

Which team has made the best trades in the last 12 months?

Top Voted - circumPrecision Passers (6 Votes)

Others votes - Jory(2),

Beavers Little Beauties, Peachy Collins, Chancellor Palpetine - 1

Which team has made the worst trades in the last 12 months?
Top Voted -  Chancellor Palpatine (4 Votes)

People's King of Love, Pickle Ticklers, Bishop Sycamore, Drew's Boys, Brady's Kiss, Dark
Meat McFreakies - 1

Which roster is better than it’s placing in 2020?

Top Voted -  Beaver's Little Beauties (6 Votes)

Others votes - Dragonballzmcnuts(3)

Which roster is worse than it’s placing in 2020?

Top Voted -  Chancellor Palpatine and Bishop Sycamore (4 Votes)

Others votes - Brady's Kiss (2)

Dirty Dozen Delight | 29

Which team has the best long-term outlook?
Top Voted -  circumPrecision Passers (6 Votes)

Others votes - Chancellor Palpatine (2)

Which team is easiest to trade with?
Top Voted -  Chancellor Palpatine (8 Votes)

Others votes - Dark Meat McFreakies, People's King of Love, Bishop Sycamore - 1

Which team is most difficult to trade with?
Top Voted -  Brady's Kiss (6 Votes)

Others votes - Peachy Collins (2), Drew's Cute Boys (2)

Who is most likely to be seen as the steal of the 2020 Rookie
Draft?
Top Voted -  Elijah Moore (3 Votes)

Who is most likely to be seen as the reach of the 2020 Rookie
Draft?
Top Voted -  Kyle Pitts + Ja'Marr Chase (2 Votes)

Dirty Dozen Delight | 30

Who will be top scoring QB in 2020?
Top Voted - Pat Mahomes (6 Votes)

Other Votes - Kyler Murray (2), others (1)

Who will be top scoring RB in 2020?
Top Voted - Christian McCaffrey (4 Votes)

Others votes - Alvin Kamara (2), others (1)

Who will be top scoring WR in 2020?
Top Voted - Tyreek Hill + Davante Adams(3 Votes)

Others votes - Stefon Diggs (2), others, (1)

Who will be highest scoring rookie (non-QB) in 2020?
Top Voted - Najee Harris (7 Votes)

Others votes - Jaylen Waddle, Elijah Moore, Terrace Marshall - (1)

Who will have a better NFL career - Travis Etienne or Cam
Akers?
Top Voted - Travis Etienne (6)

Others votes - Cam Akers (5)

r/dynastyff



For fantasy football,
365 days a year.

The Pickle Ticklers

2021 Projected Roster Strengths

Dirty Dozen | 33 Talk about a team with a tumultuous ride - The
Pickle Ticklers have been anything but boring. From
being the clear top team in 2019 after CRUSHING
the offseason, to having a disappointing 2020
campaign with regression and some injuries, Kyle
entered this past offseason ready to make some
moves. He was trying to turn depth into youth as he
traded Antonio Gibson, Kenny Golladay, Chris
Godwin, Chris Carson, Jalen Reagor, and Darnell
Mooney into what would eventually become Cam
Akers (rip) Ja'Marr Chase, Will Fuller, Damien
Harris and 2 additional 2022 firsts. The crazy thing
is, Kyle had so much depth that when you look at his
team it still is cruising with value and guaranteed
production. QB is excellent with LJax and Herbert
handling the reigns and the WR's are deep with
established guys like Cooper Kupp, Allen Robinson,
Tyler Boyd, and Will Fuller. Not to mention the 5th
overall NFL pick in Ja'Marr Chase waiting to be
insanely elite or go back to college where he can see
the stripes on balls. Mark Andrews and Jonnu Smith
are The Tickler's top tight ends and the RBs are top
heavy with studs in Ezekiel Elliot, Joe Mixon, and
hopeful Damien Harris.

Weaknesses

Kyle got what he wanted and turned his
unbelievable depth into elite prospects and some
picks. The only weakness now, is if he gave up a
little bit too much of that depth, especially after
the Cam Akers injury. He has Naheim Hines as
his 4th RB, which isn't terrible, but on bye weeks
or if there are any injuries, it wouldn't feel that
great to go to him. Tight End also comes with

questions as Mark Andrews took a step back last year from his 2019 2020:
campaign and Jonnu Smith joins a weirdly constructed New England 9-4 (6th Place)
team. This is a team that could be a lock in the 4-6 seed halfway
through the year OR could be looking to sell off some of the "win- History
now" aging vets in hope to go further in on the rebuild. Another one
of the fun juicy booties to watch this season. 0

Season Prediction: 8-6 Record:
19-7 (.731)
The bad news for Kyle is that he plays Jory twice. The good news is
that he plays Josh twice. He also gets Cliff a couple of times this

year and I think he should be in for some great matchups throughout Playoff
the year. Every week matters for the teams that could finish in that 4- Appearances:
8 range and I think that is where Kyle finds himself as we gear up for
2021. We'll hear more from Kyle and how he is feeling shortly. 2


GM Outlook: Playoff Record:
1-2
I have 34 sons. I am proud to say they

have inherited my genes and are all Total Points
growers, not show-ers Scored:
-Kyle "Boner Boy" Murphy 3194.12 (2nd)


Best Placing:
2nd


Worst Placing:
6th

People's King of Love

2021 Projected Roster Strengths

Dirty Dozen Delight |35 The ugliest manager in the league bolsters one of the
sexiest starting squads as Jory "The Great Bully"
Wilson looks to recover after an embarrassing 2020
championship. $300 has never tasted so bitter to a
man, but here we are. Jory tuned up the squad even
more by adding Stefon Diggs and oh, oh my whats
this?! A youth resurgence of Chase Claypool,
Diontae Johnson, and Courtland Sutton! While two
of them are on the same team and the other is
recovering from tearing every ligament in his knee,
its exciting to watch Jory value youth for the first
time in this league and grow even deeper than he
was before. With potential the most stacked starting
roster, the People's King of Love averages like a 96
on Madden. WR and RB are the great strength of
this team with QB and TE also being the great
strength of this team. Davonte Adams, Derrick
Henry, Austin Eckler, Saquon Barkley, Darren
Waller, Josh Allen, Keenan Allen, Stefon Diggs.
Need I say more? The somehow most lovable and
hatable manager in the league has continued to
foster a roster that is no imposter. (I'll see my way
out).

Weaknesses

I don't know, maybe RB/TE Depth? Saquon is
coming off of a late knee surgery last year and
Austin Eckler/Derrick Henry are a teensy bit
older and there really isn't anyone beyond Darren
Waller if something were to happen to him. But
Jory also has AJ Dillon waiting in the wings and
,knowing Jory, will trade one of his young WRs
and get exactly what he needs because that is

what Jory does, he forces people to do things he wants them to do. 2020:
The great manipulator has only one weakness and it is sunlight. 12-1 (2nd Place)
Suck it Jory, you're not the King of anything.
History
Season Prediction: 11-3
0
I think Jory is going to be sweet this year and it hurts to say so. He
has the gift of playing Josh twice and also faces Cliff and Kyle two Record:
times each. I think some of the age/injuries mixed with bye weeks 19-7 (.731)
could trip him up a couple of times, but this team has such a high
floor with the studs that are on it, I would be shocked if we don't see Playoff
him in the finals. Actually, I would be shocked if Jory doesn't win it Appearances:
all. You hear that Jor, you are a lock to win it all and this is definitely
not a reverse jinx, we all might as well start getting ready for 2022. 2
Congrats champ.

Playoff Record:
GM Outlook 1-1


"The League shall drown in the Total Points
love of their King, I, Jory David Scored:
Wilson, the Protector of all that 3002.46 (5th)
is good." -Jory "The Great Bully"

Wilson Best Placing:
2nd


Worst Placing:
5th

The Pickle Tickler's "Then the injury
happens and
Kyle Murphy dude....I mean. I
haven’t lost a
This segment is a chance for the league to be able boner that fast
to pull the curtain back of one of the Dirty Dozen since my shorts
Managers and gain an insight into the process of fell down in
someone who has been interesting, confusing, freshman gym"
exciting, mysterious, curious, or all the above.
Coming off selective offseason trades and a
critical injury, this year's GM spotlight features
the great boner boy himself, Kyle Murphy.

My man, we want to peel back the onion a bit and have the league
mates get to know whats goin on in Kyle’s dome. Hows the Dirty
Dozen offseason been for you Kyle, distant or engaged?

I’ve been engaged! I'm no josh in terms of trading, but I've definitely
been paying attention. Maybe I don’t read things the moment something is
published, but I definitely make a point to check it by the end of the day.
When people reach out i usually give a time frame of when I can get back
to them, rather than just not respond. But I'm locked in for sure.

Dirty Dozen Delight | 37

Lets start broad, what is your general Joe just won. Beaver’s team just got better with the
philosophy when it comes to dynasty fantasy draft. Jory could have won. I went from “if things went
football and this league in particular? right for me, this could be sweet” to "but also things
I think my general approach in most fantasy could break wrong for me" and I reminded myself that
leagues has been “find the guys with the hard even if I gave up a little extra, I wanted to go get my
capped floor”. I get it if someone would call guys and feel good about what I was getting back. And
me a scaredy cat, but I want to be able to have thats what ends up being this mammoth trade that
players that I can put into the lineup and know knocked me down a little in win now, but gave me a
what their floors are. longer window and higher ceiling while it catapulted
With our league in particular, I got some guys Beaver into the top 3. So thats kinda how the trade went
RIGHT before their breakout. I quickly down. And Cam was the biggest part of that trade for
realized though that other managers were me.
going for "high ceiling" guys instead of high Which leads us to the topic we're all the most
floors like me and as other teams got way curious about....Cam Akers.
better, it felt like I had to start making Dude it was frigging brutal. Coming out of that trade,
adjustments to find guys that could potentially I said to myself “The entire league could tell me I
win the league. lost, and I still feel great. I feel great about what I got
2019, you’re the top team in the league. back and especially Cam”. It took me out of the big
Then 2020 was a little bit different, how three status, but I still was going to make the playoffs
would you describe this past year? and if you get in the playoffs it's anyones game. And
I didn’t make nearly enough trades to stay I was very into Jamar Chase as well. Will Fuller’s
competitive with the top teams in the league. potential and a first were also really enticing. If I
But my main story was that I had a log jam. I make the playoffs I get two firsts on top of that to
had too many guys who all had the same either keep or trade. If I don’t make the playoffs, I’ve
production/value and it was nearly impossible got an elite young running back and wr and love
to figure out who to start and it cost me a where my teams heading.
playoff game when I got too cute with it and Then the injury happens and dude, I…mean. I
sat Lamar for Justin Herbert. At a certain point, haven’t lost a boner that fast since my shorts fell
the best players have got to be in your lineup. down in freshman gym. My team wasn’t bad…then
Paralysis by analysis are the words tattoo’d on all of the sudden I'm in this spot where I know if I
my butt cheeks and it felt impossible each don't do anything my team might start sucking some
week to get it perfect. major ass. My immediate response was to go out and
trade for an RB3 with upside and thats where
This offseason you were a team that felt like Damien Harris comes in.
it needed to shake things up. And that you ...why did you have a boner in freshman gym?...
did, you flipped Gibson and Golladay for No comment.
cook and mattison, and then flipped those
guys with Carson, Mooney, Godwin for Okay, so where does that leave you, what
Ja'Marr Chase, Cam Akers, Will Fuller and direction is Kyle headed in, what does 2021 have
a 1st. Take us through the emotions of the in store?
trade as it happened and how you feel about
it now especially post cam injury. My philosophy is that I want to retool, and give up
elite win now players and get some elite dynasty
So first one goes like this, everyones at the assets for the long term play. I’m also willing to
garlic capital of the world and I wasn’t there! I couple some picks if thats what it takes.
had the biggest fomo of my life and as I left
time with my family I hit josh back and knew Let’s end on this, what one thing would you want
we had to get something done. Antonio to say to the league?
Gibson’s ceiling is Dalvin and I was getting Find me on Grinder. If you’re not gonna find me on
the handcuff back. I felt really good about that grinder at least find me in the group me. I’m not
trade and knew that it gave me a punchers nearly as trade horny as Josh, but I’m jonesin', I’m
chance at the best guys in the league. jonesin'.
But then I look and I have zeke I have Dalvin I Thanks for the time Kyle.
have Carson and I have Mixon. One of those
guys is only getting on the field if they get
injured. I look around the league and see that
some guys are contending and are sweet down
the line too. And some of my guys are on the
precipice of the age apex.

Brady's Kiss

2021 Projected Roster Strengths

Dirty Dozen Delight | 39 Brent Brent Brent, I love you my friend. I am
glad that almost everyone got to know you at the
Draft weekend and fall in love with your gentle
spirit, delightful humor, and soft eyes. It was
really good for you and for the rest of the league
as now, there is a warm face and body for other
managers to imagine when they come across your
ghost. This may come as a shock to all who read
this, but Brent's team is the same as last year
minus Deshaun Watson (he's still on his roster he
just is in big trouble for asking tens of women to
touch his butthole, don't know if you heard) and
adding rookies Justin Fields, Pat Friermuth, and
Javian Hawkins. And of course, the huge deal of
Kerryon Johnson and Marlon Mack #neverforget.
Brady's Kiss is DEEP at WR with Deandre
Hopkins, Scary Terry, Justin Jefferson, and Tee
Higgins. RB's include the rising David
Montgomery and at QB Brent has the 44 year old
phenom, Tomathan Brady.

Weaknesses

Brent's team is a little shallow at RB and doesn't
have a stud at TE. Miles Sanders, Kareem Hunt,
and Sony Michel all accompany David
Montgomery, but each one presents his own form
of shakiness. None of them are alone in their
back field and it could get dicey if they under
produce or, of course, get injured. At Tight End,
the Kiss is starting Mike Gesicki, who is far from
reliable with an offense that is hard to predict. He
is backed up by Cole Kmet, Friermuth, and
Hunter Henry, so you could say Brent is really

into the "white tight ends who aren't bad, could be good, but might 2020:
not be good" type. When Brady has his bye (or God forbid goes 7-6 (3rd Place)
down), Fields and Watson are the backups and neither is currently a
starting QB in the NFL, sooooo that could be something worth History
keeping an eye on as well. But, Brent hasn't done much to his team
and it has kinda worked out for him, we'll see if it continues to pay 0
dividends this year.
Record:
Season Prediction: 6-8 14-12 (.538)

I see Brent experiencing some regression this year after finishing a

surprising 3rd last year. No one knows when the injury bug hits, but Playoff
he avoided it for the most part last year, can he avoid it again? If it Appearances:
does bite, the notorious lack of action from Brent scares me in
regards to how well he'll adjust. But if it doesn't he could have 2
another solid year hovering around playoff contention! He has

Myself, Etu, and Spencer twice this year. Playoff Record:
2-2
GM Outlook

Total Points
“My team isn’t going anywhere, Scored:
literally I don’t think it’s gonna go 2859.52 (6th)
anywhere. I’m gonna be 3rd or 4th

for the rest of my life” - Brent "DJ Best Placing:
Traffik" Rayfield 3rd


Worst Placing:
4th

Fountain of Youth

2021 Projected Roster Strengths

Dirty Dozen Delight | 41 This is a straight fact and we all know it - the league
is so much more fun when Jordan is engaged and
especially talking shit. Last year was a slightly
discouraging one for xSwaggyJ, but he looks to get
his rebuild focused and on the right track after
making some NICE moves this offseason. The
biggest trade was Jordan giving up J.K. Dobbins
essentially for Jerry Jeudy, and 2 first rounders from
Etu, the perfect type of package for a team that is
looking to rebuild. He also nabbed generational QB
prospect Trevor Lawrence for a future first round
pick. Injuries are a sad part of the game blah blah
blah, but holy smokes did Jordan see a resurrection
of value in James Robinson when Travis Etienne
went down for the year. The squad is young and not
deep quite yet, but Jordan's team isn't called the
Fountain of Excessive Age for a reason. If any
fringe guys like Chase Edmonds, Jerry Jeudy,
Michael Pittman, DJ Chark, or Curtis Samuel are a
hit this year, Jordan will see some more boosted
values. Kenneth Gainwell has got a little bit of
camp buzz and Jordan's got two picks heading into
the 2022 draft. I like what you're doing Jordan, but
more than anything, stay engaged! Talk shit to us
and defend us from Jory. This is a safe space and
you are loved here

Weaknesses

Jordan's got some weaknesses in the roster for a
team that is competing now, but I always take the
nitpicking easier on the rebuilding teams because
their objective isn't to win now, so in theory they
should have holes if they are doing it well.

I'm hopeful that Jordan can build off of the cornerstone that is Trevor 2020:
Lawrence and roll with some of his young WRs and watch them 4-9 (10th Place)
develop. He'll at some point need to draft some running backs and a
reliable TE (no offense Austin Hooper). History

Season Prediction: 4-10 0

Jordan's team isn't spectacular yet, but he plays Dylan twice along Record:
with Beaver and Drew. He should pick up some scrappy dubs and if 11-15 (.423)
a couple of those youngins' start to get going I really do think he
could surprise some folks. If not, expect to see him sell off on a lot of

his value as he looks to continue the rebuild sometime around the Playoff
trade deadline. Appearances:

GM Outlook 0


“Although our fountain of youth has yet to prosper, we Playoff Record:
shall sit back and observe the elderly giants of the N/A
league while they spend their final seasons of glory

battling eachother for the ‘ship. In two years time, we Total Points
shall mature from the little lads we once were, and Scored:
take home the bacon. But for now, we donate all our 2608.56 (9th)
schillings to the cause.

Best Placing:

7th
P.S. never trade with a Beaver.”

Jordan "Gobbles" Cox Worst Placing:
10th

Team Dragonballzmcnuts

2021 Projected Roster Strengths

Dirty Dozen Delight | 43 Our last team preview takes us to
Dragonballzmcnuts, last years 12th place finishers.
The Diddler had his roster in 6th place for the 2019
season only to watch Derrick Henry leave his team,
and Le'veon Bell + Tevin Coleman leave football
relevancy. BUT, all is not lost as the diddlemeister
set out to acquire some serious talent this offseason
in the number 1 QB and potentially safest dynasty
start in Patty Mahomes. Dylan made his bet this
offseason on Mahomes, Travis Etienne, Trey
Sermon, and Rhamondre Stevenson while holding
onto young WR's Marquise Brown and Brandon
Aiyuk. There is some potential and some life
swirling around dragonballzmcnuts (still not sure
what this means) and unlike last year, you can now
see that there are some potential cornerstones for
him to work with and either trade or hold onto for
the future. There is still some work to be done in
trading away the older players and getting back some
more picks, but for whatever reason Dylan likes to
hold onto old vets such as Le'veon, Coleman,
Marvin Jones, Sterling Shephard, Gerald Everett,
and Eric Ebron hoping that they bust out and he rides
them to a championship. While this is unlikely, I
respect the play Dyl.

Weaknesses

A lot of things will have to go right for Dylan if
he is to mirror his 2019 season and crack the top
6, but crazier things have happened. The most
unfortunate news for this quasi-rebuilding team is
that Travis Etienne has been ruled out with a

Lisfranc injury and will miss the entire season. The hope now lies 2020:
with older running backs or later draft picks and I don't think there is 1-12 (12th Place)
enough juice on the roster to squeeze out a playoff bid. There is
however, some serious value on this team and I expect to see Dylan History
begin to move some pieces by the trade deadline before they are
unmovable after they retire (maybe I can just speak it into existence). 0

Season Prediction: 3-11

Dylan gets to play the Beaver, Jordan, and Drew as his double dippers Record:
and honestly, I'm picking 3 wins because of Pat Mahomes, Aiyuk, and 8-18 (.308)
Marquise Brown. Surely there has got to be a couple of random
weeks where the flex plays get the job done and these three go off.

I'm hoping for it! Dylan, good luck in your race with Josh and Playoff
Jordan for the 1.01/1.02 spots. Trade your old guys! Appearances:

GM Outlook 1


"I hope to God I win 1 game" - Playoff Record:
Dylan "The Diddler" Wilson 0-1


Total Points
Scored:
2404.52 (12th)


Best Placing:
6th


Worst Placing:
12th

And now, to finish us off (his specialty), here is Jory Wilson, Protector of all that is

Good, delivering a colorful presentation of the league as Bible characters. Strap in
or strap on and let Jory take you on a joy ride through the good book.

The Dirty Dozen as Bible Characters

by. Jory Wilson



King David (which I sincerely hope is not my fate for
writing this article). Per the custom of the
This first bible character is a no brainer. He time it was Onan’s job to provide Er’s wife,
started off his career as God’s chosen King Tamar, with offspring. So Onan did the deed
by creating this wonderful league for all of with beautiful Tamar, but, “whenever he
us to enjoy. He reached into his purse, pulled slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his
out a smooth stone, and defeated the seed on the ground” (Genesis 38:9). Well,
seemingly invincible Goliath (Jory) in the during his first season, Etu was fortunate
2020 finals. But then Ol’ Commissioner Joe enough to make sweet, beautiful love to this
saw Josh bathing on a roof during the league and win it all. But since then it
offseason… and he rodgered him! He appears he’s spilled his seed all over the
rodgered him hard... with his gross, ungodly ground of a back farmhouse in Gilroy, CA by
weenie by trading him D’andre Swift, Jamaal sending away… Cliff’s 21 1st, Josh’s 21 1st, and
Williams, Ito Smith (now out for the season) Patrick Mahomes to get Najee (who he’s
and Jordan’s 22 1st (should be dece) for St. currently shopping), Noah Fant, Henry
CHRISTIAN MCCAFFREY and St. ANTONIO Ruggs, and Half the QB class of 2021. And as
mother effing GIBSON!!! as well as Rashod if that wasn’t enough, he had to milk every
Bateman, Elijah Moore, his 22 3rd, and Cliff’s last drop out of that mangled Poly eal by
23 1st for Curtis Samuel and St. CALVIN GD trading Jerry Jeudy, Eno Benjamin, and
RIDLEY!! My heavens Joe, give the guy’s Drew and Spencer’s 2022 1st’s for Antonio
backside a rest! Callaway (Da fuq why) and J.K. Dobbins who
was promptly yeeted into the abyss of ACL
Onan purgatory that is Baltimore. Never fear…
“What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight;
One of everyone’s all time favorite bible so the Lord put him to death also” (Genesis
characters has to be that of Judah’s son 38:10). Luckily for you, Etu, there is some
Onan. Because he’s so famous I’m sure sort of resurrection in this book somewhere.
you’re already certain of which leaguemate
he is, but I’ll remind you of his biblical
actions just for funsies. Judah’s first son, Er,
was a bit of an A-hole so God killed him

Dirty Dozen Delight | 45

Judas Iscariot swallow Jonah for a few days and then he
had him spit him out onto dry land. Laviska
Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with Shenault is as middle of the pack a dynasty
them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him”
(Matthew 26:48). Judas Iscariot goes into the
player as there is. Spencer tried everything
“Probs Wouldn’t Want to Snag a Beer with he could to yeet Laviska off of his team. He
Him” hall of fame along with Hitler, Darren lured guys in from every angle using D.J.
Sharper, and Aaron Hernandez’s prison Moore, Devonta Smith, and any combination
lover (no offense, Jordan).  I mean, the guy of his two second round picks to no avail.
betrayed the son of God. In fantasy football “The most mediocre player belongs on the
terms that’s pretty much the equivalent of most mediocre team”, said the Lord. Here we
mildly entertaining trade talks after not are… with the season starting and Laviska
responding to 20+ texts in a row and ending right where the Beaver left him (along with
said trade talks with something like, “I think DK Metcalf for Amari Cooper, yikes!) on
honestly you have too big of names for me to June 11th 2020. I know what you’re thinking,
trade with” (verbatim), “I like all of my guys” “we get the Jonah comparison but it also
(verbatim), “I’m not in a spot to trade for says WHALE.” ...Throat similarities, baby!
picks” (verbatim), “I’m not high on Tyreek
Hill” (verbatim).

I will now list below all of Brent’s trades All the promiscuous dudes in
since he’s entered the league….
Sodom and Gomorrah
Tyreek for Deandre Hopkins and a 2nd
+ In the book of Genesis a couple of towns got a
Kerryon Johnson for Marlon Mack little creative in how, and with whom, they
decided to trade their fluids. These were the
The End folks from Sodom and Gomorrah. I imagine
there was one particular fella who would go
I can’t really knock him though.  Our league around those towns offering friendship rides
Judas has never lost a trade… to the highest, or any, bidder. Well in the
Suck it, Judas dirty dozen we have our very own fallacious
fella who treats his oreo hole like the town
Jonah AND The Whale bicycle for any 2023 first round pick. Beyond
trading away CMC, Antonio Gibson, and
The story of Jonah and the whale is rather Calvin Ridley to Joe, he traded Diontae
long but quite simple. God wanted Jonah to Johnson to Jor and Dalvin Cook to Kyle. (Hip
go to a specific city and preach against its Thrust) “I’m rebuilding”, (Hip thrust), “I’m
wickedness. Jonah wanted no part of it so he acquiring talent right now”, (Hip Thrust)
ran away from God. God had a whale “I’m rebuilding”, (Hip thrust)... you get the
picture. I promise you this, there is not a one
of us that is getting more bang for his buck
(no pun intended) as far as enjoying league
trades go more than Josh.

Dirty Dozen Delight | 46

Jesus Christ and 4th displays a great deal of wealth to
begin with. Akers went down to an Achilles
“For God so loved the world that he sent his injury and Jamar Chase has trouble catching
one and only son…” There is one of us who balls because “NFL balls are different from
loves this league more than all of the rest. college balls.” This trade made the Beaver an
He put his roster up on the cross to die so
that the rest of the league may live. In
immediate contender and made Kyle… not as
arguably one of the more controversial much of a contender as he once was. So, it
sentences I’ve ever typed, “Jesus Christ is appears that he gave away four times what
Dark Meat McFreakies.” It started when he got in that deal. Tough break, Zacc. He
Cliff flipped Diggs and a 2nd for Robert did, however, take a whirl in the Gomorrah
Woods, David Johnson, Fant, and a 2021 2nd Garden with Josh and snag Damien Harris
and Chase Claypool for Tonyan and a lot of and a 2022 1st, so that’s nice.
change to Jory to breathe the Spirit of God
into his roster. Proving his love for players John the Baptist
about to fall off a cliff (pun intended) he also
traded Robert Woods and his 22 1st to Joe, “In those days John the Baptist came,
another power house, for Thielen, Mike preaching in the wilderness of Judea and
Davis, and Tyler Higbee (he should actually saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven
be pretty dope).  Cliff has shown that if you has come near” (Matthew 3). I can only
are persistent enough to get ahold of him, he assume that Drew was off in the wilderness
will be the roster Messiah that can take you covering his bean bag in honey and camel’s
through the Pearly Gates of Dynasty fur because he was for damn sure nowhere
eternity. I do envision a resurrection, Cliff, near his phone. 75% of the league was ready
however I think it might be a smidge longer to pay out the ass for CeeDee Lamb but
than three days. Drew’s “no fantasy football in the offseason”
policy made that an impossibility.  Biggest
Zacchaeus Dynasty Fantasy Pro: you get to make
moves in the offseason.  His one trade for
Our sweet Zacchaeus. For those who don’t Golladay during the draft weekend put him
recall because they are debaucherous miles ahead of Brent as far as trade
sinners who are not accepted in the church, gumption goes. So he has that going for him.
Zachaeus was a vertically challenged,
thieving, rich tax-collector who was blessed The Loaves and Fishes Kid
to have the Son of God over to his house for
dinner.  His encounter with Jesus impacted Near the passover feast there was a large
him so much so that he stated, “Look, Lord! crowd of thousands of people who followed
Here and now I give half of my possessions to Jesus and were listening to him teach. They
the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out became hungry and Jesus and his disciples
of anything, I will pay back four times the found a young boy with “five barley loaves
amount” (Luke 19).  I won’t get into the and two small fish.” The Gospel according to
physical comparisons (even though Kyle is John said that Jesus broke the bread and
quite itsy bitsy himself) the sheer insanity of divided the fish and it was enough to feed
the barn burner deal of Kyle sending Dalvin, everyone with leftovers. While Dylan’s
Godwin, Chris Carson, Mattison and Mooney roster wasn’t enough to feed that many
for Will Fuller, Cam Akers, Jamar, a 2022 1st

Dirtty Dozen Delight | 47

people, several of us came and took his lunch he wasn’t dead. All Jairus had to do was
from him. It started a few years back when believe. All of the people laughed at Jesus.
Jor took the first loaf, Derek Henry. Etu When Jesus got there he told her, “little girl,
followed that up by snagging the 2021 first get up” and she did. We were all laughing at
overall pick which ended up being Najee (He Jordan’s roster because that thing was as
did get Mahomes though, so that’s not dead as disco. He had James Robinson with a
nothing) and Waddle… and his 1.11 for Travis
Etienne…. There goes another loaf and some
highly drafted rookie coming to take his
fish. Spencer came in for the rest of the
crumbs by squeezing the last juice out of chicken, no picks to speak of, and the only
Todd Gurley and a 2022 2nd for Jarvis. I’m thing to hang his hat on was J.K. Dobbins. All
glad the world has a name for the kid who’s he had to do was believe and believe he did.
lunch fed all those people in Christ’s name: Christ the Dyno skipped on into town and told
dragonballzmcnuts! that little girl to rise by giving him Jerry
Jeudy, Eno Benjamin, and two, DOS, 2!!!, 2022
Lucifer 1st round picks for Antonio Callaway and J.K.
Dobbins (who’s knee promptly fell out of his
Satan, Lucifer, The Father of Lies, The Great leg like 2023 draft picks fall out of Josh’s
Deceiver, The Beaver Wilson. Either the prison pocket after Thursday night kegger).
Beaver knows Lucifer, is Lucifer, or has Jordan! YOU’RE ALIVE!!
struck up a deal with the Great Deceiver to
turn his team from middle of the pack to the The Alpha and Omega, The
bonafide contender that it is now. The kind Beginning and The End, God the
of smooth talking bullshit he must have Father
whispered into Kyle’s ear to get that Jamar
Chase deal done is straight out of Jesus This title would make sense for me, Jory, the
being tempted in the desert. “You know Kyle, King of the league that loves his people. I
I really admire and respect you and I want know all of you view me as your Dynasty
you to be good now AND for years to come. Heavenly Father. It makes too much sense
Jamar is bulletproof and can you imagine that I would use my spirit to enter each of you
having Christian McCaffrey in year two?!?! like God did Mary for the conception of
Well that’s Cam Akers. He has airline cables Christ. I mean, this stuff writes itself.
for achilles.” Well Beaver, on behalf of the However, I am partial to not being struck
league I’m going to tell you exactly what God down by lightning at 10 AM Pacific Standard
told Lucifer in the good book itself, “you can Time during the Niners opening kickoff. With
go straight to heck, Pal!” that being said I, Jory David Wilson, The
Protector of All that is Good, The People’s
Jairus’ Daughter King of Love, am Solomon. I am filled to the
brim with Fantasy wisdom and you all are my
A prominent synagogue leader named Jairus 700 wives. I will tenderly love you each week
approached Jesus in need of healing because and fill you with my love for your own good.
his daughter was dying. Jesus began the
journey to Jairus’ house when one of Jairus’ The People’s King of Love has spoken.
servants approached them saying not to
bother the teacher anymore. His daughter Good Day
had died. Jesus told Jairus not to worry
because his daughter was just sleeping and

Dirty Dozen Delight  | 48

Go Team Fun.