Your glamour packed glossy
magazine starts here!
Celebrity watch - who’s doing what
Top events, parties, plus everything else
Mallorca’s Top Property Guide
Your most popular magazine
CONTENTS 3 must read
PARTY - PARTY
Birthday Party in Port LAPLAND PALMA
The capital lights its
PAGE 5 self up for the Festive
DONT SLEEP NAKED PAGE 25
How to find
PAGE 31 VIP GOSSIP
FRIGHT NIGHT Best Christmas television
Top restaurant holds special commercials - to - I’m a
event Celebrity’ - top TV people
are all in the act.
TO BE A MILLIONAIRE
Clarkson hosts top show CALVIA ON FIRE
Hot dog stalls, sweets, beers,
SHAKING MY ASS candy floss and fish & chips
The leather Rock Queen on - the perfect family night out.
shocking show now
out on DVD
Mallorca’s top Estate Agents PAGE 43
CELEBRITY MAGAZINE. Email: [email protected]
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Reproduction of any material in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited.
Celebrity Magazine - 2003 Registered Title; DLPM - 1526-2003
PARTY, PARTY, PARTY - HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLEO
Report and photography by Ken and Angela Ross
What does one of the islands top party and event organisers do when its her
birthday - she throws a party!
To celebrate her 21st (+VAT) birthday, the energetic Cleo had the La Terraza
Restaurant in Port Adriano decorated entirely with balloons, also she installed
one of the most popular DJ’s (Des Mitchell), complimented by the haunting
sounds of a top Saxophonist and as the restaurant served some superb non-
stop treats (delicious Tapas), all of this created an amazing and relaxed
A most enjoyable event, and we wish a very Happy Birthday to Cleo.
Birthday girl Cleo and hubby Gordon
6 | Celebrity | Issue 113
Top entertainment with the haunting sounds of the saxophone and one of the islands top DJ’s
Mediterranean Tapas were served in the dining area
At all the
Issue 113 | Celebrity | 7
With the ‘dress code’ as Black and White, the ladies brought out the glamour
DJ’ Des (above) takes a break to join beautiful ‘party people’ who were out in force for Cleo’s party
8 | Celebrity | Issue 113
Issue 113 | Celebrity | 9
10 | Celebrity | Issue 113
“ I WILL RETIRE WHEN I GO ON STAGE, SHAKE MY ASS, AND THERE IS SILENCE ”
Report by Ken & Angela Ross
Issue 113 | Celebrity | 11
The gauntlet is forever being thrown down and Suzi’s life was never going to be ordinary – born in
Suzi’s ‘shake my ass’ challenge has regularly 1950 in Detroit Michigan, fourth of five children
been put to the test, and guess what, so far there she grew up with music all around her.
has never been silence! Just cheers, bellowed By the time she was eight she was already playing
choruses of her hits and rapturous applause in her fathers band on drums. At school she studied
– the ‘leather clad’ Queen of Rock - is here to classical piano and percussion and at the early age
stay! of fourteen joined her elder sisters group ‘The
Pleasure Seekers’ (for which she had to learn to
Suzi Quatro’s most famous quote play the base guitar).
about shaking her ‘Ass’, more This was Suzi’s first gig, which was held at the
or less sums up this rock- local dancehall, The Hideout.
stars most amazing career “We got paid something like $25 that night and
and life. that was the first money I ever earned. With my
Right now her bags, cases father’s permission, I left school the following
and equipment are all year and went on the road with the band, I have
neatly packed and stand in been doing the same job ever since
the hallway ready for the off Things moved quickly, as Suzi became more and
more confident she was pushed in the spotlight at
as Suzi (Mallorca’s favourite the front and eventually become the lead singer.
‘rock& roll’ chick) prepares to go The group toured for seven years, releasing several
around the world one more time, to singles, becoming relatively successful.
give ‘it’ another ‘damn good shake’ In 1969 the group changed its name to ‘Cradle’
– belting out as she does her hits that and it was to be two years later that Suzi would
have kept her fans dancing and jumping get her big break. Music mogul Mickie Most had
up and down in the isles since she first been persuaded to come to watch the group by the
started performing in the mid sixties. girl’s brother.
With her next string of concerts commencing At that time, like most record labels, Mickie Most
in Germany, Suzi will then travel to the other was actually more interested in finding a female
side of the world to Australia (where she has a rock singer who could fill the void that the death
massive fan base) and has held her popularity of Janis Joplin had created – Mickie had little
throughout her career. Here she will join in the interest in the group, but instantly that night he
‘Red Hot Summer Tour’ for a four-week set of offered Suzi a solo contract.
gigs where she will headline a top line up of At the same time she had also been attracting
stars. attention from Elektra Records.
Returning to Eastern Europe, more gigs await The Elektra president told Suzi she could become
her, then after a brief respite, she will tour the the new Janis Joplin. Whereas Mickie Most
UK, headlining the ‘Legends Live’ arena tour. offered to take Suzi to England and make her the
Here she will be performing with top icons of first Suzi Quatro – Suzi adds “I didn’t want to be
the pop world, David Essex, Les McKeown’s the new anybody else, I just wanted to be me!
Bay City Rollers and Smokie, and joined on “When I first went to England at 21, I lived on a
several dates by Showaddywaddy shoestring. I had been discovered – Yes, but what
- Then it’s back again on the road in Europe. now? Mickie Most gave me an advance – this
At an age when most pop legends have long wasn’t very much – even less when my family
been forgotten, Suzi has one of the most told me I had to give them half.
demanding years ahead of her. With her This was difficult, but I was emotionally
popularity ratings going off the scales and the blackmailed. They said I had debts, that I owed it
fans unquenchable appetite for her music – the to them, it was not a nice situation.
girl who taught herself to play base guitar as a
young teenager, is at the top of the ‘A’ list of
12 | Celebrity | Issue 113
I suppose I could have asked Mickie for more, but I was a little bit easier, which is good. I’m proud of that.
was a little bit proud. He had no idea I had left half If I have a legacy, that’s what it is. It’s nothing I take
my advance behind in America. So I when I arrived in lightly. It was going to happen sooner or later. In 2019
London I had to save money whenever I could, using I will have done my job for 55 years. It was going to
the buses or walking everywhere and eating meagrely. be done by somebody, and I think it fell to me to do
I remember finding a cafe in Earl’s Court, which sold because I don’t look at gender. I never have. It doesn’t
hotpot for 40p and buying that all the time. If things occur to me tthat if a 6-foot-tall guy has pissed me off,
got really bad I would go to a pub with one of the I would have to square up to him. That’s just the way
record company guys, go into the kitchen, grab some I am. If I wanted to play a bass solo, it never occurred
chicken and stuff it in my back pocket. It is not like I to me that I couldn’t. When I was five years old I first
was the Artful Dodger – I was just too proud to ask for saw Elvis, and I decided there and then that I wanted
more money. It was OK, I got by.” to be him. It didn’t occur to me that he was a guy.”
In 1972, Quatro embarked as a support act on a UK Television was soon to call Suzi, with a starring
tour with Thin Lizzy and headliners Slade. In May part offered to her in the world famous television
1973, her second single “Can the Can” was launched series ‘Happy Days’. Playing opposite the legendary
– which one critic described it as having “seemingly ‘The Fonze’ (Henry Winkler) she played ‘Leather
nonsensical and virtually unintelligible lyrics” but it Tuscadero’ (a part specially written for her which was
proved popular and was a No.1 hit in parts of Europe in fact, more like ‘Suzi Quatro meets Happy Days’).
and in Australia, which went on to sell two and a half The show’s producer, Garry Marshall, offered her
million copies world wide. the role without her ever having to audition. this was
after Garry had seen a photograph of Suzi on on his
“Can the Can” was followed by three further hits: “48 daughter’s bedroom wall. Her appearances were so
Crash” (1973), “Daytona Demon” (1973) and “Devil successful that she was quickly offered her own spin-
Gate Drive” (1974). “Can the Can”, “48 Crash” and off series, which she turned down, not wanting to be
“Devil Gate Drive” each sold over one million copies type cast.
and were awarded gold discs Other television appearances include Minder, Dempsey
Suzi was now Midsomer Murders
making a huge splash and the hilarious
within the music comedy series,
industry, between Absolutely
1973 and 1980 she Fabulous.
featured no less than
one hundred and one In 1989 Suzi was
weeks in the British one of the first rock
Record Charts. To ‘n’ roll artists to be
date she has sold allowed to perform
over fifty five million in Russia, where
records – and we are over a short period
still counting! of just six weeks she
Suzi was the original played to over half a
rock chick, the first of million people.
her kind. In the 70s,
she was considered 1999 also saw Suzi
cooler-than-cool, honoured in ‘This Is
becoming a mega Your Life’, complete
rock star, touring with famous red
the world to screaming Suzi relaxes in mallorca with friends book. They caught
crowds. her on her 56-tour date in the UK tour, onstage at the
Palladium, completely off guard and there were a few
More hits included ‘The Wild One’, ‘She’s in Love expletives that had to be edited out!
With you’, ‘Mamas Boy’, ‘If You Can’t Give Me
Love’, ‘Rock Hard’, and the million seller in the USA, Suzi Quatro has proved to be not only the girl that
‘Stumblin In’ (a duet with Chris Norman). broke the glass ceiling as the first Rock-Chick, she
has also proved to be a star who’s music will last
“Before I did what I did, women didn’t really have forever with a style that will no doubt be copied by
a place in rock ‘n’ roll. I was the first to be taken many into the next millennium – if she wanted her
seriously as a female rock ‘n’ roll musician and singer. legacy to be that she opened the door for other female
That hadn’t been done before. I played the boys at rock musicians, then she can rest satisfied – that is if
their own game. For everyone who came afterward, it the fans will ever let our leather clad rocker ever rest!
There are lots of reasons to advertise in Celebrity
- and if you’re reading this - so are thousands of your customers
(m) 639 – 8 9 11 12 [email protected]
The only thing that will shock you are our low prices
14 | Celebrity | Issue 113
THE KENNY EVERETT SHOW (NOW OUT ON DVD)
“All in the best possible taste”
Report and photography by Angela and Ken Ross
Over thirty years ago a racy television series which Which is where my connection with Kenny and his
included red-hot innuendos, extreme sexuality, not dance team started! Being commissioned then by
to mention the filthiest jokes ever told on television several newspapers and magazines for the more
would certainly in these present times of ‘politically glamorous show-biz style photography, I hit on the
correctness’ be the cause of any television company to opportunity when reading the first press release on
be closed down in seconds - welcome to the ‘Kenny Kenny’s coming series. Telephone introductions
Everett Show’ made to the press department, within two days I was
But don’t ‘bust a gut’, your television screen is safe, there at the studio on one of its first ‘Kenny Everett
Kenny’s series will probably never be transmitted by Show’ productions. At this stage my interest was
any major channel – but what is happening is that more in photographing his sensationally attractive
after over thirty years of collecting dust and hidden in dance group. Although it was Kenny’s ragbag of jokes
the darkest vaults of television, ( to protect the public and send-ups of his star guests that made the show,
from humour), the whole set of 35 episodes are to be certainly for the male viewers it was the sexy dancers,
released on DVD. ‘Hot Gossip’ who had them spellbound in front of
For our young readers, a DVD is like a very small their television screens.
record – what’s a record? Forget it! Back to Kenny Although my first photographic session back at our
Everett. studio, which Angela and I had just opened in Fleet
Kenny rose to the very top from a bunch of extremely Street was for a magazine client, Kenny’s management
talented DJ’s who challenged the establishment on the commissioned me to take more and more photographs
newly established iconic ‘Pirate Radio’. He quickly throughout the series production – with the result that
made his reputation as one of the top performers with for a while I more or less became one of their team.
his weird and zany humour.
In 1978 Thames Television offered him his own show,
which became the ‘Kenny Everett Video Show’ in
which he introduced his own cast of sexy dancers – the
dance group ‘Hot Gossip’ exploded onto our screens.
At the time this was considered to be extremely risqué
plus he had also combined this with a host of saucy,
sexist and political sketches - unbelievably the ratings
went up and up. The fact that the show was denounced
seemed only to attract more and more viewers – it was
the show everyone would talk about the next day at
their work place, the nation was intrigued, shocked
and yet seemed to love every minute.
In early 1981 Kenny fell out with the ITV management
– they had scheduled his show to go up against
BBC’s top-rated ‘Top Of The Pops’, a show which
Kenny actually liked himself and he certainly didn’t
want to start a ratings war with one of his favourite
Right on time, in stepped the BBC, who offered him a
‘Christmas Special’ show followed by five primetime
series (which included a promise of massive
investments and a higher standard of production),
Kenny moved to the BBC - welcome to the ‘Kenny
ARLENE PHILIPS Issue 113 | Celebrity | 15
Each week, (with special effects department having PHOTOGRAPH BY KEN ROSS
steam coming from out of Kenny’s collar), he would
introduce ‘Hot Gossip’ as one of his ‘Naughty seven minutes. Thatcher walked on stage afterwards with a
Bits’, where the group would perform an over the frozen smile, as if in a daze - she didnt know Kenny and had
top steamy-sex-bump and grind raunchy routine, never seen his show!
choreographed by the future ‘Strictly’ judge, Arlene
Philips. These routines were far removed from what With the release of the Kenny Everett Show on DVD
we were all too familiar with from the straight laced fans will be able to watch the huge number of sketches
and immaculately costumed ‘Tiller Girls’ of the that saw stars such as Cliff Richard, David Bowie and
London Palladium - who at that time were as sexy Freddy Mercury allowing themselves to be exposed
as it got. Arlene and her group brought a totally new to Kenny’s ferocious jokes and absolute unbelievable
style to dance choreography. In the early days the ridicule – and they loved every minute of it. Kenny
group even had singer Sarah Brightman amongst could weave magic, top international names such as
their female dancers. No sparkling pristine swimsuit Rod Stewart and Elton queued up to be on his show.
Palladium style costumes with feathers in their hair He would introduce his top-line guests by looking
for these ladies – ‘Hot Gossip’ outfits were strictly straight at the television camera saying, “Are you tired
sexy, ripped leotards and torn fish net stocking – in of seeing fabulous good looking talented superstars,
fact anything the girls could find, as long as it wasn’t so am I - so here is Rod Stewart.”
pretty or sequined!
Knowing the reaction the dancers would create, All through my time with Hot Gossip it was obvious that
Kenny was quick to act out his alter ego as an angry Kenny was in fact two people, the zany and outrageous
old lady. Immediately after the dancers performance comic he had invented and was comfortable within,
he would face squarely up to the camera, dressed and the off-screen Kenny, sometimes seeming to be
in a old lady’s wig and coat, wearing horn rimmed very alone and unsure of his own life and direction.
glasses and carrying a handbag (spoofing anti-smut The dance group became legendary, Hot Gossip was
campaigner Mary Whitehouse), he would denounce a by-word in modern dancing. Later to star in several
the dancers for their over expanse of bare flesh and other top television
open sexuality. shows, but
Model and actress Cleo Rocos became a huge friend eventually fading
of Kenny, in which he found comfort and a soul mate. away.
I had worked with Cleo many times, she was a regular
we booked in our Fleet Street studio, she was the Kenny would
girl of the moment and never disappointed, totally always end his
professional. During Kenny’s series she become show with – “Well
nearly his co-star as he promoted her more and more. Kids, that’s the
Kenny created many popular characters for his show, end, I hope you
his most famous was when he dressed in a huge blonde liked the show.
wig, massive false breasts, mini dress, tights and high
heels – remember he had a natural beard so it was If you didn’t, its
never seen as what we now term as a drag act – just a too late – I have
hilarious and unbelievable character who told (made- already got the
up) stories about Hollywood celebrities. money!”
By 1983 Kenny’s fame had spread so much that film
director Michael Winner invited Kenny to address a
rally of young conservatives, this was just ten days
before the general election and in the presence of
Margaret Thatcher. In an earlier programme Kenny
had used a giant pair of rubber foam hands (now used
everywhere), so Winner asked him to bring them along
for some light relief.
Kenny went on stage to a humongous round of
applause and cheering – he walked forward waving his
giant foam hands in the air – as it went quiet, everyone
expected a political speech, when suddenly Kenny
shouted - “Lets bomb Russia” – the crowd went wild,
the cheers, applause and laughter lasting a full six or
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Issue 113 | Celebrity | 17
CALVIA ON FIREBON
Report and photographs by Ken & Angela Ross
Hot-Dog stalls, Drinks, Sweets, Candy Floss and even Fish and Chips, it was all there at Calvia’s amazing Bonfire Night.
It is estimated that two thousand people attended during the evening, with two huge specially erected stages providing non-
stop entertainment. Singers, musicians and dancers, a marching drumming band, Correfoc, the bonfire and firework display
and much, much more, made this free entry event so spectacular.
Besides the Devil and his many Demons, the dramatic presentation of the Correfoc was skilfully choreographed so as to not
only impress the audience with its pyrotechnics, but also to tell the story of fire – first being discovered by ‘early cave man’
and then being stolen by the devil and his followers. Thoroughly entertaining, we watched as the children’s faces just stared
in astonishment. A huge three headed dog from Hell, ridden by a young female demon, was pushed in to the arena which
then burst into an amazing mini firework display. This was followed by a three meter high winged Bat with a bulls head and
horns, (why does the Devil have all the best goodies?), which again gave its own firework display.
The amazing fun-fair atmosphere, the entertainment (by many young local artists), the Bonfire, the Fireworks, plus all
the hard work from Calvia Town Hall, especially Deputy Mayor Eva Serra and Dolina Reynolds (Calvia’s ‘International
Department), Cristina Axford (Spectrum Radio), Gee Carmichael (Host), all made this another great event – well done!
18 | Celebrity | Issue 113
The story of ‘fire’ begins to unfold
The Devil and his Demons come to steal the fire - over one thousand spectators watch the Correfoc show
Issue 113 | Celebrity | 19
The story of ‘fire’. Early
cave-man finding fire, but it
is soon taken from them by
the Devil – an astonishing
show of pyrotechnics which
kept the children (and adults)
Fish & Chips and a glamorous mum How one pretty young girl sparkled A good vantage point to see everything
20 | Celebrity | Issue 113
The magic of the Candy-Floss.
The Devil and it’s Demons vanquish the cave-men and steal the fire Marching ‘Drum’ Band
The children loving every minute
Three headed dog from Hell, with it’s Demon rider - another amazing firework display Huge stage provided entertainment all night
Issue 113 | Celebrity | 21
Enjoying the evening Wonderland for the children - tempted by Candy-Floss - one lucky boy
Jackie Codd (R) and her Top Team - representing ‘Age Concern’ Even here, sophisticated kids - must have a selfie
All the fun of the fair Entertainment - singers, groups & dancers
22 | Celebrity | Issue 113
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Issue 113 | Celebrity | 23
JEREMY CLARKSON WANTS TO BE THE NEW MILLIONAIRE
As the new presenter of ‘Who Wants To Be A am sure Madison wasn’t unhappy with all the extra
Millionaire’, Jeremy Clarkson has been accused of publicity – Jeremy, well that was a different matter
being rude, somewhat brusque and even insulting – we certainly saw that cantankerous side of him a
– nothing new there then! But despite all this lot that week.
Clarkson (possibly Mallorca’s worst loved visitor) To top it all when filming here Jeremy got himself
will be back in the driving seat as the new host when embarrassingly trapped in a portaloo at the racetrack.
the show returns next year. He takes over the prized Some pranksters had spotted Jeremy heading for
role previously held by Chris Tarrant who hosted the toilets so whilst he was inside they barricaded
the show for seventeen years. him in with car tyres, which had been used in the
Last May the show had a special seven-day trial run, crash barriers. After ten minutes. Jeremy eventually
ostensibly to celebrate its 20th anniversary year, managed to struggle free but by the look on his face
although it is thought is was actually a trial run for you could see that he was not amused! But it made
Clarkson. Subsequently ITV has now announced a good video for face book! Jeremy, well, lets just
that the show (with Clarkson) will return to our say, not a happy bunny!
screens early in 2019. Back here in the UK the hugely popular show Who
Clarkson, 58, who was criticised for mocking one Wants To Be A Millionaire
contestant who requested to use the ask-the-audience has not been without its
lifeline, Clarkson had turned to the audience and own controversy, even in its
sarcastically commented, “Who knew you’d be first run with Chris Tarrant,
needed this early in the game!” Even Jeremy’s one of its more famous
girlfriend, Lisa Hogan was said to be ‘cross’ with ‘episodes’ was nicknamed
him because of his attitude and being so ‘horrid’ the ‘Coughing Major’.
to contestants. Clarkson of course promised that This, where a former army
he would be kinder in subsequent episodes (the officer gained notoriety
country waits with bated breath?). after he won the big jackpot.
Another big ‘booby’ was in Clarkson’s final episode Unfortunately his victory
where he’ told a contestant he had answered was short lived after he
correctly and won thirty two thousand pounds was accused of cheating
- without actually checking the answer. In fact it – in court it was ruled that
was the wrong answer and the contestant then lost whilst he had answered all Clarkson with Celebrity’s Angela Ross
fifteen thousand pounds – Clarkson once again just the questions correctly, this
smiled himself out of the situation! was partly thanks to a participant in the audience
Jeremy Clarkson of course has a reputation for being helping him, by coughing on cue to help him decide
somewhat cantankerous. We met Jeremy when on the answers.
he and the ‘Top Gear’ team, Richard Hammond. The ex-army officer was found guilty in the spring
James May and Clarkson came here to take part in of 2003 along with his wife and fellow game show
the Mallorca Classic Car Rally in May 2009 (series devotee friend, who were both in the studio, of
13). They brought along with them a top glamour ‘procuring the execution of a valuable security by
model, Madison Welch who was supposed to act as deception.’
co-driver/map reader to James May, despite the fact The husband and wife were sentenced to 18 months
that she had no previous experience of rally driving imprisonment suspended for two years, while their
or map reading for that matter - still it was a good friend received a 12-month suspended sentence.
story with lots of great photographs for us and I So now we all look forward to seeing our top guy
back on the screen, one thing is for certain; with
Jeremy it will never be boring - bring it on!
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2017 was taken over by new management who have made vast
improvements and introduced new staff.
New high-tech machines with state of the art wash programmes
using the latest products taking laundry and dry cleaning to a
totally new level. Portals Laundry seeks to give a very high level of
service to the marine industry, bars, restaurants and the domestic
Portals Laundry offers pick-up and delivery service and are open
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A TOTALLY NEW BUSINESS
Issue 113 | Celebrity | 25
LAPLAND PALMACCeiletbyrityctakeena ctarmeera’os efyemviewaogf tihce Pa&lma
26 | Celebrity | Issue 113
Issue 113 | Celebrity | 27
Palma City center bristled with a glowing pride as it once again
demonstrated that this beautiful island of Mallorca is more than
just a summer time venue.
Celebrity’s Angela and Ken Ross took their camera for a stroll
around the center to witness the amazing festive lights that have
added a golden magic all over the capital. Bars, restaurants and
shops also seemingly made a special effort to mirror the festive
season to add to the warm welcoming atmosphere.
Christmas markets, pavement artists, buskers and even organized
entertainment created an amazing friendly spirit - pavement cafes
and bars were full to capacity on our early Friday evening visit.
A truly great effort by the Ajuntament de Palma - well done to
- and from Angela and Ken Ross - a very special wish to
everyone for a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and a very
Happy Dia De Los Reyes.
Ken & Angela
28 | Celebrity | Issue 113
Issue 113 | Celebrity | 29
30 | Celebrity | Issue 113
Issue 113 | Celebrity | 31
Once again the
season of Halloween has
maintained its popularity, with all the local
stores and supermarkets offering a never ending array
of blood curdling rubber axes and knives, plus monster
outfits and horrendously gruesome masks that would scare
the pants off any passer-by on a normal evening.
This was Halloween night and even with the dismal
weather, the ghouls and witches were out and about in
force – nowhere more so than at the top restaurant ‘Spoon’
in Puerto Portals. Always willing to show their fun side, the
restaurant (now with their adjoining rooftop bar ‘Billys’)
held its annual Halloween Party which attracted some
unusual guests – outrageous Devils, Ghouls and Monsters
a-plenty, but to balance out the ‘dark side’ there was also a
delightful fluffy white Unicorn (Ah!) and in the case their
were any monsters having their heads cut-off, a gorgeous
nurse was at hand.
A great evening that partied into the night – a bit of a
The Terminator - singer Liam Live Silence of the Lambs A fantastic Halloween nurse and a ghostly friend
Horsing around, and a beautiful ‘Unicorn’ Just your normal family outing - a table for five! Devils and Monsters
32 | Celebrity | Issue 113
SLEEP HOW IT
Secrets of a good nights sleep
Sleep on your own and whatever you do, don’t sleep naked!
A new survey for the online mattress firm ‘Sleep’ reveals that the recipe for a perfect nights sleep - is to sleep on
your own, wearing pyjamas and with a bedroom temperature of 16C. Crucially in order to get a good sleep our body
temperature needs to drop by half a degree Celsius from our normal waking temperature. But resist the temptation
to strip off on warm night because according to Dr Neil Stanley, (an independent sleep expert), it’s actually better to
wear pyjamas because ‘the pyjama fabric’ draws sweat away from your body and will make you feel a lot cooler and
Some experts even suggest that sleeping on your side rather than your back is better because more of the body’s
surface is exposed to the air and thus gives out more heat taking it away from the body.
Almost half of the 2,000 of the people quizzed in the poll said that they slept better when their partner was not with
Now, ‘Food Guru’ Nigella Lawson has come up with her own personal sleep pattern. At first it sounds a bit whacky
but there is good solid evidence behind her theory and she might actually be on to something here.
Issue 113 | Celebrity | 33
Womans Editor; Angela Ross
CHANGES YOUR LIFE
34 | Celebrity | Issue 113
Nigella revealed she often gets up during the night to
potter around and sleeps in two hour bursts – just the
same way as our ancestors used to do!
In an interview, Nigella said she is often in bed by the
saintly hour of 7.30pm, but sleeps only in two-hour
sessions. In between, she gets up, potters around and
makes tea, before going back and sleeping for another
It sounds crazy — surely she must be seriously sleep-
deprived? As we all know, everyone needs a good,
uninterrupted eight hours sleep, or do we?
Actually, we don’t. In fact, Nigella’s mode of sleeping
is far more in keeping with historic sleep patterns than
the single period of sleep so many of us aspire to
these days. This theory was recently confirmed in a
television documentary on sleep patterns. We tend to
assume our forefathers retired to bed at sundown and
rose with the sun. Well, we assumed wrong.
Instead, they had what is known as a ‘biphasic’ sleep
pattern — they’d sleep for four hours and then get up,
do household chores, pray, eat, have sex, even visit
neighbours. Then they’d go back to sleep for another
Prayer manuals from the 15th century even stipulated
specific prayers for the waking hours between sleeps,
while it was commonly believed that this period was a
good time to try to conceive a child.
Monophasic sleep — which describes the eight hours Nigella Lawson
we currently strive
for — is a relatively evolution — and it is believed that this is a factor in
new concept. It the epidemic of sleep problems we face today.
developed as a result According to The Sleep Council, around two-thirds
of various social of us report difficulties sleeping, half of us lay awake
factors, including the worrying and only a quarter say that they actually get
Industrial Revolution, enough sleep.
which saw the Could it be that our bodies are yearning to return to
introduction of shift the natural, biphasic pattern?
working, and later An experiment conducted in the nineties by psychiatrist
the installation of gas Dr Thomas Wehr certainly suggests just that.
and electric lighting He took a group of volunteers and placed them in
in homes. darkness for 14 hours a day, every day for a month.
It took a while for their sleep to regulate but, with no
By the late 1600s, clocks and as they were, in effect, cut off from the
biphasic sleep outside world, they fell into a very distinct sleep
patterns slowly started They would sleep for four hours, wake for several
to be replaced by hours and be active, then go back to sleep again for
monophasic patterns, a further four hours. When given the opportunity, the
starting with the body adopts the biphasic pattern of the past. Several
urban upper classes people plagued by sleep problems who, like Nigella
and, over the next 200 have adopted alternative sleeping patterns have found
years, filtering down very positive results. In reality it is hard to introduce
to all parts of society. two or three ‘sleeps’ spread through the night if you
So the way we sleep have to be up by 6am with the kids and get to work.
today goes against But it is possible! One lady, a successful artist, had
tens of thousands
of years of human
suffered from insomnia for years — until she changed Issue 113 | Celebrity | 35
how and when she slept. She started going to bed
when her children did at around 7.30pm. She’d get 6. “Practise this ten-minute Yoga pose. ‘The
up at midnight and then work productively for several Viparita Karani’ or the ‘Legs up the Wall’ pose that
hours in peace. After doing the school run, she’d go anyone can do and is a natural sleep remedy. It can
back to bed for another four hours - she felt fantastic. even be beneficial if you wake up in the night. The
For many of us, our body clocks simply aren’t tuned move stretches and relieves tiredness in the back,
to the demands that modern life places on us when it relieves the spine and the nervous system.”
comes to how we sleep. Perhaps we should take note 7. “Have a laugh. Make time to watch your
of what Nigella does and find out what our bodies favourite comedy programme. Laughter promotes
really want. Oxytocin, another happy hormone which helps you
If you really do suffer from difficulty with sleeping relax and strengthens your immune system.”
then here are a few tips from yet another Sleep Guru, 8. “Go outside every day. We need light to
Andani, who travels the world advising everyone boost production of Serotonin and Melatonin and the
from Celebrities to high powered company executives quickest way to get this is the great outdoors. Plus if
- which may help you through your problems : you walk a lot, your brain goes in to a relaxed state
1. Andani recommends that you breath in, close leaving you more creative and grounded.”
your mouth, exhale through your nose, humming. Sleep and the magic formula have long been the quest
Do this over and over for 15 minutes or so, then you of many specialists – Years ago this was even more
will sleep like a baby. Humming stimulates the sleep a constant source of articles, reports and countless
hormone Melatonin leading to a great and blissful surveys. All supposedly searching for ‘The Holly
night’s sleep. Melatonin is a hormone produced by Grail’ of a good nights sleep – to the extent that on
the pineal gland of the brain when you find yourself in one occasion a daily newspaper wanting to poke fun
a dark environment. Hormone imbalance, which can at so many surveys booked myself and a team of well-
be caused by stress, overwork and lifestyle factors are known comedians to do a send-up photo shoot to
largely caused by sleep disturbances illustrate this.
2. We go into bigger cycles of deep sleep when
the body is physically refreshed and this is usually ‘The Goodies’ (who were then televisions top
during the during the first three hours of sleeping, acclaimed comedy group) and American actress/
then as the night goes on you move into cycles of comedian Linda Lou Allen (star of ‘What’s On Next’)
lighter sleep including quality sleep which refreshes and myself were photographed altogether in an old
the brain. brass bed dressed in Victorian nightwear, including
3. Going to bed past midnight is quite late. If the nightcaps. It was all a great target of fun, especially
brain doesn’t get enough quality sleep then it makes after Tim Brook-Taylor and Graeme Garden started to
you feel awful the next day. “Breathing is the key.” She compete over who could have the tallest headgear. It
says. “We can’t control our heart or our hormones or was titled - How To Get a ‘Goodie’ Nights Sleep - it
our mind but when we change our breathing patterns looked hilarious, and it was!
we change our heart rate and calms our mind. If you So, did we find the answer to the question of how to
deepen your breathing the body’s system takes charge have a good night’s sleep? Is there really an individual
so you go to bed in a clam state and can sleep. When answer? Or are we all really subject to our own
the sun rises the serotonin, (the happy hormone,) goes personal habits and nightly patterns – hard to decide
up and when the sun sets, the Melatonin, (the sleep - I think I will have to sleep on it!
hormone goes up.)”
4. “Eat cherries and dates. While you can’t buy Angela
Melatonin in the UK, natural forms of it can be found
in some foods including dates, Montmorency cherries ‘The Goodies ’Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden with
(a type of sour cherry) and grapes, while bananas, actresses Linda Lou-Allen (left) and Angela Ross (centred).
oatmeal and milk will boost it’s production in the
body.” Photograph; Sun Newspaper, by Ken Ross
5. “People with trouble sleeping will often grind
their teeth. This makes the jaw muscles tight and creates
stress in the body. To counteract this gently massage
the jawbone for thirty seconds, five times a day.”
36 | Celebrity | Issue 113
Ken & Angela
Your backstage pass to everything that’s happening
IF IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME , IT MUST BE MORCOMBE AND WISE TIME
No matter how many television comedies are produced each year, come Christmas, it is still the old hot chestnuts
of humour that are pulled out of the fire for the festive season. Covering our face with the embarrassment,
but still peeking through our fingers, Morcambe and Wise will once again control the comedy ratings with
sketches so old that many
were first seen on ‘steam’
television. These geniuses of
the silver screen have proved
timeless. Recent attempts
at making new ‘stilted and
predictable’ style comedy
programmes only goes to
prove that the producers of
British television are just
not in touch with the general
public and their tastes.
Never the less, lets all
look forward to seeing our
favourite duo again. Whilst
we all know the scripts word
by word by now, we will
never the less still laugh over
our mince pies when Eric
grabs Andre Previn by his
jacket lapels and tells him,
‘I am playing all the right
notes, but not necessarily in
the right order’.
1982 Morcambe & Wise Show. Ern and Eric with model/actress Angela Ross
*A special treat – ‘fifty years’ since they were last screened (1968), two ‘lost’ episodes of Morecambe & Wise
have been discovered and will now be shown over the festive season. Originally in black and white, but with the
wonders of technology they have been transformed into colour - proving incredibly that television comedy from
half a century ago still seems to be more popular than the modern offerings?
Photograph by Ken Ross
Issue 113 | Celebrity | 37
CMOOFRFNEINEG Mood Restaurant
Coffee mornings (Mcmillan) just get better and Heroes Sports Bar
better – with the 41 Club holding a special Coffee
Morning and Bake-Off day at Mood Restaurant
(for local charities) raising a fabulous 2400 euros.
This was equalled by yet another fabulous day
by the Calanova Cancer Care charity group who
held their special
Mcmillan day at the
Hotel Aquabeach in
In Portals Nous,
Heroes Sports Bar,
dazzled visitors with
yet another huge
display of delicious
cakes and treats.
Each of the groups
event with raffle
prizes, music and entertainment, plus a great
welcoming atmosphere – well done everyone
Calanova Charity team at Hotel Aquabeach
38 | Celebrity | Issue 113
IT’S A LITTLE BIT FUNNY
The race for the best Christmas ‘weepy television commercial’ is once Elton John-
again upon us – and certainly no one puts more effort into their offerings
than the department store, John Lewis. This year’s presentation has Elton Pìctures Ken & Angela Ross
John unashamedly having us all sitting in total sadness and silence as he
plays his piano, reflecting on his life as his mind wanders through his past
The commercial shows Elton as a toddler (then still called Reginald
Kenneth Dwight) in pyjamas, coming down stairs on Christmas morning
to find his gift, an upright piano all Christmas wrapped, a present from his
mother and Grandmother (his father not seeming to be around?).
We then see mixed actual archive footage of Elton combined with a series
of specially shot scenes using several actors to portray him through the
different stages of his life – of course this is all very bleary eyed stuff,
the haunting melody of Elton’s ‘Your Song’ drifting throughout the
commercial – handkerchiefs at the ready!
The only problem, in Philip Norman rock biography Slowhand, he disputes
several facts! These now echoed by several major national newspapers.
Whilst there may have been a piano, in the pre-television era days most
working class households would have had an upright piano, Elton didn’t
get it from his mother as a Christmas present. In fact his big present was
from his father, an extremely expensive child’s Pedal Car from Hamleys,
the West end toyshop.
Elton was in fact later bought a piano, but this again was from his father,
and Elton was then sixteen.
There is an awful lot of disputed and intriguing information on young
Dwight and the relationship with his family (and that Piano!) - never the
less, the two minute television commercial is superbly produced, shows
a life we would all like to believe (and would have liked to have had our
selves), so stuff the truth (what ever it is), get out the handkerchiefs (and
mince pies and wine) - and enjoy it all!
Pìctures Ken & Angela Ross
Issue 113 | Celebrity | 39
IT’S A LITTLE MORE MONEY
Fighting for over decade, our old pal Noel Edmonds (concert organizer and my
Helicopter pilot for ‘Live Aid’), has been locked in a multi million pound legal
battle with several banks over his media business’s failure back in 2007. Noel
claims his company ‘Unique Group’ was destroyed by incompetence, or worse,
at the financial institution of HBOS, which was rescued (taken-over) by Lloyds
following the 2008 financial crisis.
So with the impending court case finally coming up, Noel seized the opportunity to
raise his profile by joining the celebrities in this years top television program, I’m
A Celebrity …Get Me Out Of Here!
The extra visibility plus a reported fee of over half a million pounds certainly seemed to make it a somewhat worthwhile
Noel was trumpeted in to the show, hilariously dressed as a Roman Emperor, the sixty nine year old former television
star was given the ‘tongue-in-cheek’ status of being in charge of all the other celebrities, who were to be totally under
Unfortunately Noel’s pride was no doubt somewhat dented with the shock result of him being the first to be booted
off the show. Noel later did admit he was totally shocked with the result, which is determined solely by the public
(viewers) votes - being the first out has always been thought of as a means of testing popularity, or the lack of it!
Noel expected to use an assumed extended stint on the television show to draw attention to his long running battle
with the bank that now owns HBOS, Lloyds - a company he equated with the likeness of one of the delicacies eaten
as a bush-tucker trial by the shows contestants, cockroaches!
Originally considered by many to be one of the favourites to win, he can still no doubt bank his fee, although his
visibility and raised profile was somewhat curtailed quicker than he ever expected.
IT’S ONLY A LITTLE BIT OF MONEY
Feeling guilt is not something you would expect from the worlds most famous author and our popular part-time
Mallorca resident, Jeffrey Archer – never the less it is happening!
After a cancer scare and the realisation that at seventy-eight years old, life will not go on indefinitely, Jeffrey is taking
stock of his two hundred million pound fortune.
His actual wealth is estimated at around one hundred million plus his art collection, again estimated at around another
one hundred million.
So Jeffrey has started a clean up, first selling everything he has held in storage, giving all the proceeds to charity,
mostly to a Cambridge college. Now he is stocktaking his art collection, which includes original works by Monet,
Pissarro, Hockney and Warhol, giving away or at least promising the valuable works of art to galleries and museums.
A third to a half will go, that’s up to fifty millions pounds worth.
An Arthur McCormick painting, which hangs nonchalantly in Jeffrey’s living room, depicting Nelson signing the
declaration after the battle of Copenhagen, is promised to the National Maritime Museum. A valuable Sisley painting
is promised to the Tate Gallery. Other paintings, such as ‘Venus In Kensington Gardens’ by Leon Underwood (now
fashionable and hugely collectable) are bound for a museum in Oxford.
Basically Jeffrey adds, “ I would rather my art collection goes to good and appreciative homes rather than the tax
man getting his hands on them.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not giving everything away, I am just doing what I can to help – my son’s fear is that I will
40 | Celebrity | Issue 113
Ben, Nuria, Ron, Donna and Cristina Dancers from Club Tito’s, Palma
Each year Real Estates United joins forces with Spectrum FM Radio to present and host a charity event supporting a worthy
cause, this year they teamed up with the charity foundation Joy Ron.
This year’s event was held at the OD Port Portals Hotel with over 200 people in attendance. With the dress code leaning
towards ‘pink’ they gathered in the hotels roof top Sky-Bar to enjoy an evening of entertainment and fun. A hugely successful
evening, raising nine thousand euros that will provide financial support and help for the local ‘Children in Need’ projects.
The Calvia Lions charity organisation took no time in donating two thousand euros towards the
Sant Llorenc flood disaster fund. The Lions President, Adrian Elkinson, personally handed over
the cheque with the promise of further support.
Photgraph, Lions President Adrian Elkinson presenting the cheque.
The popular organisation ESRA (English Speaking Residents Association) held their special
Poppy Day meeting at Heroes Sports bar and Garden Lounge in Portals Nous this month
where they enjoyed a delicious traditional three course Sunday Lunch.
Issue 113 | Celebrity | 41
Glamour and wine Open a bottle of wine and you are quickly surrounded by friends
Lola - Hosts the social gathering – open sixty or seventy bottles of wine and you suddenly realise you
have far more friends than you ever realised – welcome to a wine
In the heart of Portals Nous the local supermarket, Cidon, held their
annual wine tasting event, which has now become a bit of a social
gathering, an occasion for people to meet friends and reminisce over
a glass or two (or more) of rather nice wines.
‘Of course’ every one was totally professional (?) in their appraisal of
all of the wines, several glasses (or more) of each no doubt needed to
determine the origin and flavours? I must admit to not witnessing a
great deal of ‘expectorating’ (i.e. spitting out into a silver bucket) of
the wine, our group probably a little bit more enthusiastic than most
professionals – but as we did say, it was a social affair, and a rather
happy and fun one at that.
Friends trying the wine From Restaurant Casa Paco So many wines to taste
A sparkling Cava Wine and romance Tasting the wines A fun night
42 | Celebrity | Issue 113
CALANOVA CANCER TEAM
This month is proving particularly busy for these energetic charity workers now they have had to move shop – but
not to worry, regulars visitors will soon find their new location – its just a few shops further along and in a much
bigger outlet – with double the stock and great new spacious surroundings, their new shop will no doubt become a
Above left; When Caroline (King Richards School) and her fiancée Thomas Brand recently tied the knot, they
asked all their friends not to buy wedding presents, but instead to give donations to ASPONOB (Childrens Cancer
In our photograph the couple present the charity President, Jaime Coll, with a cheque for 1205 euros.
Welcoming Spectrum Radio’s Cristina Axford and REU’s Donna
Suarez - joining the Celebrity team.
Photograph; Seated centre, Angela Ross, standing (L to R) Cristina, Ken Ross & Donna.
ARTS SOCIETY MEETING Following the success of the first event in October
presented by Eric Knowles of BBC’s The Antiques
Photograph (Phoenix Media), Guests enjoying the reception Roadshow fame who gave a highly entertaining and
informative talk “The Genius of Lalique Jewellery
and Glass”, membership of the Mallorca society
has already reached nearly 100 members. This was
followed by another stimulating talk in November on
the Dutch master Vermeer, given by leading expert Jane
Choy-Thurlow who flew in from the Netherlands. The
Mallorca society has been set up by a small committee
of volunteers who were attracted to the aims of The Arts
Society, which is to open up the arts to everyone and to
uphold the principle of its founder, Patricia Fay, that
above all “The Arts Society should be fun” V.M.
Celebrity Property GuideIssue113|Celebrity|43
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48 | Celebrity | Issue 113
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50 | Celebrity | Issue 113