The CSJ Christmas Story
“Ready Old Champ!” said Father Christmas to his senior dog, as he prepared the harness. This year, you’re going to pull the sleigh with the reindeer. “Ready sir” said the dog, grinning from ear to ear. This year I’m going to be Rocket
Why that’s ‘Complete Tripe’ said Rudolph, “just because I’ve got a cold, doesn’t mean I can’t pull a sleigh “ he muttered, snuffling and blowing his red nose. “Hope you don’t meet a Storm Canis, that’s all”. Father Christmas turned round to his poorly reindeer and said sternly “That’ll Do! Rudolph. Don’t Dinner Bait! my Christmas crew.
You’re not well enough, so just Get Over! it!
He turned back to his dog and reindeer team “Now are we Fit ‘n’ Fast! and ready to Go On!?” “Wait a moment” called out Mrs Christmas, picking something up from the ground “There’s a C3P0 here, which has fallen out of the Star Wars set”.
She wrapped up the parcel up again quickly and stuffed it back into the sack. “Wish it was CP30!” laughed Old Champ! “Hike on!” shouted Santa, as he boarded the sleigh. “What about ME?” asked Little Champ!, pattering up to him. “Next year, said Father Christmas, “When you’re a Sooper Dooper Champ! Work hard and pick up some Training Tips.”
“Just call me ‘Billy No Mates!” said Rudolph through another sneeze. “There’s nothing that Porky Pooch! can’t do that I couldn’t do better”. “Hold It!” said Mrs Christmas firmly to Rudolph, as he slunk off muttering and cursing “Stroppy Bitch!” under his wheezing breath. “Please Resist! Rudolph” she said kindly. “If I could Turn Back Thyme, I would, now let’s try some No Ake!
and see if Thistle Work!”
“Ready, Steady, Go...” shouted Little Champ!, jumping up at the sleigh. “Down Boy! Calm Down!” said Father Christmas, “Hold it! everyone...” as he steered the sleigh towards the clear path through the forest, lined up the reins and gave the command “ Focus! and Come On!”
Little Champ! pawed the air and shouted “Let me come with you! It’s Eezy Peezy! Then he blew a Phantom Rasberry! as the dog and reindeer sleigh sped off into the twinkling night
Father Christmas looked down through the snowflakes and shouted out “Bye Poppets! Rudolph lay down in the hay and set about trying to Heal! Oooh, Dem Bones! were shivering, but it was pointless to Resist!
After all, he knew in his heart that Mrs Christmas would be happy to have his company on Christmas Eve. They could have a nice Christmas supper with CP Xtra, Seaweed & Parsley! stuffing and all the Gravy Works! She’d make a big fuss of him and yes, he’d
Lap-it-Up! It really was a No Grainer.