Caregiver Connections - baycouncilonaging.org

VOLUME 16, ISSUE 2

Caregiver Connections

A Publication For Caregivers From The Bay County Council On Aging

MARCH—APRIL 2016

INSIDE THIS ISSUE: Monthly Caregiver Support Groups
1:00 PM At the Respite Center Building
BAY COUNTY 1
COUNCIL ON 1 MARCH
AGING SUPPORT 2
GROUPS 2nd Friday, March 11, 2016 1:00 PM
Our Sharing and Caring Group Meeting
BOOK NOOK
4th Wednesday, March 23, 2016 1:00 PM
AN INTERVIEW Educational Group Meeting
WITH IDA MAE
FLEMING Guest Speaker Sue Peipert, Provision Living ALF

INTERVIEW 3 ———————————
CONTINUED 3 APRIL

HOW TO ACCESS 2nd Friday, April 8, 2016 1:00 PM
SERVICES Our Sharing and Caring Group Meeting

4th Wednesday, April 27, 2016 1:00 PM
Educational Group Meeting

Guest Speaker Angela Warren, Elder Law Attorney

NEWSLETTER THE BOOK NOOK
STAFF CONTACT:
JEAN WARNER

850-769-3468

The Madonnas of Leningrad
by Debra Dean

Marina has Alzheimer's, a disease that makes the past intrude on the present.
June 1941, Marina, a young woman in Leningrad is helping to pack works of art
for safe hiding from the attacking Germans. In the present Marina is an old wom-
an in Seattle preparing for her granddaughter's wedding. The blue of the dress
she is going to wear takes her back, and she is young again, looking at the blue
of Gainsborough's Duchess of Beaufort as she helps to remove the portrait from
its frame. "It is like disappearing for a few moments at a time," writes Dean. "Time
contracts and fractures and drops her in unexpected places."

Marina knows "something is eating her memory", consuming the present and
leaving only the past. Her daughter finds Marina "spacey" and "fuzzy", a little old
woman in a kitchen covered in Post-it notes. Her husband must learn to accept
that his wife is leaving him, "not all at once, which would be painful enough, but

VOLUME 16, ISSUE 2 Page 2

An Interview with Ida Mae Fleming

Ida Mae Fleming has worked with the Bay County Council on Aging since 1987 in many capacities. She managed the meal program
under the Older Americans Act and the Home Based Services Department, supervising Case Managers, In-Home staff and arranging for
home bound seniors to receive necessary services.

Ms. Fleming helped establish the Dr. and Flo Nixon Alzheimer Respite Center, and was instrumental in helping the program grow from
originally caring for eight clients to the 40 clients presently attending. Along the way she also helped the Council on Aging acquire and
renovate the old fire station on Frankford Ave. to use as the respite center. She helped raise funding to add a 4000 square foot addition
to the center, completed and opened in January 2007. This new addition was named in her honor, “The Ida Mae Fleming Wing”. She
currently serves on the Board of Directors for the Bay County Council on Aging. For over ten years she was the loving care giver for her
husband who lived with Parkinson Disease, and the memory loss that comes with that disease.

Miss Ida Mae, we know you helped start the respite center at the Council on Aging in 1997. What were some of the things you felt the
center should do for care givers?

Caregiving for someone with Alzheimer disease can be a huge challenge for care givers. I wanted the staff to learn as much as
possible about the disease, to be able to offer the care givers information and assurance that their loved one would be cared for in a
safe and friendly environment. I wanted the center to provide a place for care givers to come and share their problems and receive
counseling and case management to help relieve their stress and anxiety.

How did you want the center set up in appearance to help the seniors feel comfortable?

I felt the center should be set up to provide satisfactory care and at the same time be attractive. I wanted it to have homey
appearance, clean and comfortable. We also needed to have safe measures in place and keep the environment as safe as possible.

What were some of the activities you arranged for the clients to help them have a good day at the center?

Upon their arrival we wanted to greet them with a smile, using good body language, and listen carefully to the tone of our own
voices. Provide the clients with some socialization such as conversation and refreshments. Start the day with some reminiscing, some
of them will have lost some short term memory but retained their long term memories. We might have them talk about their school
days, what they did as a child for fun and later – their family life. Some will have memories of the war, sometimes they live in the past.

Include music because most respond well to music. Provide games at different levels, such as card games, bingo, word
games, and simple crafts they can do with a little help. Provide some type of exercise, some will love to dance, chair aerobics, games
with balls, be creative. Have parties for all of the holidays with decorations they can help make and special snacks and games. They
should have a meal and a short rest time before beginning afternoon activities with more singing, movies or other activities and refresh-
ments.

A structured day that moves between active and quiet events will prevent them from having that empty day syndrome. Re-
member each client is different. In our community we are blessed with a lot of community support willing to come and entertain our
clients.

You were a care giver yourself, how did your experience prepare you to help other care givers?

I have often thought God allowed me to be a care giver for my husband preparing me to work with the Alzheimer clients at the
Respite Center. I have quoted Charles Dickens several times in what he wrote in his opening words of “The Tale of Two Cities”. “It was
the best of times, it was the worst of times, …..it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was
the winter of despair….” For me, I wouldn’t give anything for being able to care for him. It was a special bonding with him and gave me a
special compassion for care givers and to think how the person with the disease must feel.

One of the most frequently asked questions we hear from care givers is, “How will I know when it is time to think of nursing home place-
ment?” Do you have any advice for this question?

To know when to do nursing home placement is a difficult question for me and for the care giver. You have to decide and dis-
tinguish between what is and what is not in your power and consult with the rest of the family. Your loved one may become too aggres-
sive for you to handle in the home or may need some skilled nursing care. Your own health may be a big factor; you are no good to your
loved one if you become ill. It is not like you will not be able to see them and have some say about their care in the nursing home. You
will be able to get some rest so you can be more pleasant when visiting. You can live a more meaningful and productive life. Do not
become a passive victim of fate, try to be realistic.

VOLUME 16, ISSUE 2 Page 3

You also started the support group and education group meetings at the Council on Aging. How do you think they are helpful for
care givers?

I had help starting the first Support Group meetings from Linda Sowell and Johnny Turpin, who had been active in one at
the Life Management Center before their Adult Day Care closed. Beth Couliette and others at the Council on Aging were helpful.

We started a library of books about Alzheimer Disease, giving the care givers opportunities to read and learn all they
could about the disease and share it with their families.

The meetings are a time to come together and share with others what is going on with their loved one and share ideas
that have been helpful to them. They realize they are not alone, some feel so isolated with being confined so much of the time
with the person they are caring for. The Support Group is a time to share their feelings – cry, be angry, and release these emotions
with others who understand because they are in the same situation. It is a place to stay in communication with others and what is
going on with the disease and receive encouragement. Special speakers are provided at the education meetings once a month
to speak on related matters of interest to care givers. It is good to learn all you can about the disease and remind yourself when
there is behavior problems it is a disease and try to think of how the loved on may feel.

Some of our care givers have said they feel guilty for leaving their loved one at the respite center. We try to reassure them that
they need the break, and that we will take very good care of their loved one. We believe the care giver needs a break. Can you

elaborate on how important respite is for the care giver?

Every care giver needs some respite. Retain control over your daily life as much as possible. Do not lay guilt on yourself,
because, you are human. You probably will be much better with your loved one if you have some relief. It can help you find a bet-

ter way to deal with them.

So many times they are happier after they adjust to the center. They enjoy being with the people and participating in the

activities. Some think they are coming to work, or volunteering, or visiting the club house, some have thought of the center as

school or as therapy. It gives you a chance to have some time to do the things you cannot do with them, such as appoint-

ments, shopping, going out to lunch with a friend, and you and them will probably be better off with the break respite affords.

Do you have any other words of wisdom to share with our care givers?

Do not take responsibility or blame yourself for a negative occurrence that is beyond your control. Do not let this crisis
render you powerless. You need to remain in charge of yourself, maintain a sense of your own worth, keep a sense of humor and
laugh with them not at them. Do not argue with them, go along with them. Keep stress at a minimum.

Have confidence in your inner strength, scripture helped me a lot. Within you lies an incredible ability to cope, more than
you ever knew. As you are being tested to what seems the edge of your limit, believe that your endurance will hold up and you will
find the strength to go on.

They say we have 45 miles of nerves, no wonder they get stepped on sometimes!

How to Access Services
Do you know someone who is caring for a family member or loved one with dementia?
Do they know about the services of the Council on Aging? Do they know they can call us directly or just come visit us?
They do not need a Doctor or Nurse referral. Help may just be a phone call away.
You can help. Tell them to call the Council on Aging. (850) 769-3461 ext. 131 Ask for Jean Warner, or come visit and ask to
see Jean Warner.

Caregiver Connections Non Profit Org.
Bay County Council On Aging US Postage Paid

1116 Frankford Avenue Permit No. 162
Panama City, FL 32401 Panama City, FL

Or current Resident

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