Disco

Songs originally appeared on the double-sided flexi-record in the MAD Disco Special 1980


1. DISCO SUICIDE 4:43 Vocals by Phyllis, Karl and Angela Harris Nick Meglin as Dr Jennings
2. SORRY, NO WORDS 4:30 Vocals by Steve Leeds
3. THIS TIME, THIS NIGHT 5:23 Vocals by Karl, Phyllis and Angela Harris
4. BARELY ALIVE 5:13
Vocals by Steve Leeds, Phyllis and Angela Harris
5. THE DISCO CLAP 4:56 Vocals by Karl, Phyllis and Angela Harris
6. IT’S A GAS 4:25 Vocals by Alfred E Neuman
Production ©1980 EC Publications, Inc
Lyrics by Dick De Bartolo • Music by Norm Blagman “It’s A Gas” written by Norm Blagman and Stan Bobrick Arranged and Produced by Norm Blagman Supervised by Al Feldstein
Recording Engineered by Joe Lopes
Master Engineered by Nesew Productions
Front cover and back cover art by Jack Rickard Center spread Dr. Neuman art by Norman Mingo


DISCO SUICIDE
Disco Suicide
He’ll be sorry findin’ out I died
Because he didn’t make me his bride
That two-faced Jekyll won’t be able to Hyde From my disco suicide
A big falling mirrored ball
Might end it all at the boogie hall
For disco I give my word
To die at thirty-three and a third
Or strangle myself with stereo phones To the disco tones of Grace Jones
And, if that turns out to be a bummer I’ll swallow a cassette of Donna Summer
Disco Suicide
He’ll be sorry findin’ out I died
Because he didn’t make me his bride
That two-faced Jekyll won’t be able to Hyde From my disco suicide
Bake my brains by a hot strobe light
Get down for my final time tonight
I’ll put on my funeral dress
And leave him here to clean up all that mess He’ll find in the end that he can’t ignore
My ring around the whole dance floor He’ll be on his knees with a can of comet To clean a little blood and a lot of vomit
Disco Suicide
He’ll be sorry findin’ out I died
Because he didn’t make me his bride
That two-faced Jekyll won’t be able to Hyde From my disco suicide
Officer, Yeah, I’m out of breath But I gotta report a weird death It’s a case of the would-be bride Who became a disco suicide
We’re ready to shoot, Rosanna, Rolling on camera 2 Hi, I’m with the TV news
This must be the worst case of the blues
This story can go world-wide
I Love it, a disco suicide
Who called for a doctor and nurse?
It’s too late for us, you need a hearse
No matter how hard we tried
We can’t help a disco suicide
As long as we’re here, Dr. Jennings, can’t we dance? Why not, Nurse Swain, why not?
Disco Suicide Disco Suicide Disco Suicide Disco Suicide Disco Suicide Disco Suicide
Disco Suicide
That two-faced Jekyll won’t be able to Hyde Disco Suicide
That two-faced Jekyll won’t be able to Hyde Disco Suicide
That two-faced Jekyll won’t be able to Hyde


SORRY, NO WORDS
There’s no words to follow
There’s no words to follow
There’s no words to follow in this song So don’t even try
Don’t even try
Don’t even try to sing along
If your lips are moving
If your lips are moving
If your lips are moving you’re berzerk If you’re singing now
You’re singing now
You’re singing now then you’re a jerk
If we had some lyrics
If we had some lyrics
If we had some lyrics they’d be hot But we ain’t got ‘em
We ain’t got ‘em
We ain’t got ‘em so they are not
No, there ain’t no words to
No, there ain’t no words to
No, there ain’t no words to this boogie So, stick that up your
Stick that up your
Stick that up your oogie-oogie
Sorry, no words
Why, you must be wond’ring
Why, you must be wond’ring
Why, you must be wond’ring why no words exist Well, the truth is MAD
The truth is MAD
The truth is MAD was just too cheap to hire a lyricist
Sorry, no words


THIS TIME, THIS NIGHT
This time, this is my night
Lots of music and lots of light This time, this is my night
And nothing can beat disco delight
Hey, ya klutz, you’re stepping on my feet
Oh, you female clod, you made me lose the beat Hey, you creep, you’re smoking in my face That’s too bad, now get off my case
This crowd sucks, I feel like I could scream Oww! That hurts! Watch the tambourine
This time, this is my night
Lots of music and lots of light This time, this is my night
And nothing can beat disco delight
Look at that, he’s taking off his pants
Big show-off, he still can’t dance
That damn strobe, it’s shining in my eyes
Watch those hands, please! get them off my thighs Fog machine. it’s coming out too dense
Try to dance, it’s more like self defense
This time, this is my night
Lots of music and lots of light This time, this is my night
And nothing can beat disco delight
What a joint, that girl’s in the buff
You’d be too, if you took one puff
I can’t see, there’s bubbles everywhere
I can’t breathe, they’re in my nose and hair Can’t even talk, gotta scream in each other’s ear This elecric floor, it shorted out my rear
This time, this is my night
Lots of music and lots of light This time, this is my night
And nothing can beat disco delight
What a drag, I just can’t wait to go
It’s the pits, boy, what a waste of dough
So gross, perverts and weirdos
Guys with wigs, women with beardos
Well, I guess no one will be here tomorrow night We’ll all be here, this place is outta sight
It’s so bad we love it
Same time, tomorrow night
Lots of music and lots of light
Same time, tomorrow night
And nothing can beat disco delight Same time, same time, tomorrow night






BARELY ALIVE
You can tell by the way I’m failin’ in school I’m a disco man, I’m a dancin’ fool
I disco all day and I disco all night
I’ve lost my hearing and I’ve lost my sight But I don’t mind, I don’t care
My mind is blown and so’s my hair
My brain is loose from too much juice Too much smokin’, I’m almost croakin’ I’m barely alive, barely alive
One time I was healthy
One time I was wealthy
Now I’m barely alive barely alive barely alive Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God
Barely alive barely alive
Bad back and bad knees
I’m just too much a disco fan
Got heebie Bee Gees
I’m just a slipped disco man
Barely Alive
Bad back ooh ooh bad knees Bad back ooh ooh bad knees Heebie ooh ooh Bee Gees Bad back ooh ooh bad knees Heebie ooh ooh Bee Gees Barely Alive
Once I had me a girl and we had a ball
Before disco came, put me off the wall
Now she calls me “Creep” and says “Go take a walk” That fox don’t dig my phoney jive talk
But I don’t mind, I don’t care
My mind is blown and so’s my hair
I’m feelin’ punk from eatin’ junk
Too much dancin’ and no romancin’
I’m barely alive barely alive
One time I was happy
Now I’m feelin’ crappy
Yeah, I’m barely alive barley alive Oy vey, oy vey, oy vey, oy vey Barely alive barely alive barely alive She said I insult her
That I’m too much a disco fan
I’m no Travolta
I’m just a slipped disco man
Barely alive barely alive
Bad back ooh ooh bad knees Bad back ooh ooh bad knees Bad back ooh ooh bad knees Bad back ooh ooh bad knees Bad back ooh ooh bad knees Bad back ooh ooh bad knees Bad back ooh ooh bad knees


Once I had me a girl and we had a ball
Before disco came, put me off the wall
Now she calls me “Creep” and says “Go take a walk” That fox don’t dig my phoney jive talk
But I don’t mind, I don’t care
My mind is blown and so’s my hair
I’m feelin’ punk from eatin’ junk
Too much dancin’ and no romancin’
Barely alive barely alive barely alive
One time I was happy
Now I’m feelin’ crappy
Yeah, I’m barely alive barley alive Oy vey, oy vey, oy vey, oy vey Barely alive barely alive
She said I insult her
I’m just too much a disco fan
Got heebie Bee Gees
I’m just a slipped disco man Barely alive barely alive
Oy vey, oy vey, oy vey, oy vey Barely alive
Oy vey, oy vey, oy vey, oy vey Barely alive
Oy vey, oy vey, oy vey, oy vey Barely alive
Oy vey, oy vey, oy vey, oy vey Barely alive
Oy vey, oy vey, oy vey, oy vey Barely alive


DISCO CLAP
Ooooh, disco clap
Ooooh, disco clap
It’s catching, it’s spreading Slap to the disco clap
You’ll catch it, you’ll spread it Once you’re caught in the trap You’ll slap to the disco clap Once you’re caught in the trap You’ll slap to the disco clap
Clap your little feet
Clap your ape-like hands Clap your Spock-like ears Clap your vital glands Clap your boney knees Clap your pigeon toes Clap your blood-shot eyes Clap your runny nose
Ooooh, disco clap
It’s catching, it’s spreading Slap to the disco clap
You’ll catch it, you’ll spread it Once you’re caught in the trap You’ll slap to the disco clap Once you’re caught in the trap You’ll slap to the disco clap
Clap your jogging shoes Clap two cockatoos Clap your pogo stick Clap your flicking bic Clap your lemon car Clap your lit cigar
Clap your Cheerios Clap your panty hose
Ooooh, disco clap
It’s catching, it’s spreading Slap to the disco clap
You’ll catch it, you’ll spread it Once you’re caught in the trap You’ll slap to the disco clap Once you’re caught in the trap You’ll slap to the disco clap
Clap a layer cake
Clap a garter snake Clap two coffee mugs Clap a pair of jugs Clap a young girl scout Clap an old dead trout Clap your family jewels Clap your partner’s too


Ooooh, disco clap
It’s catching, it’s spreading Slap to the disco clap
You’ll catch it, you’ll spread it Once you’re caught in the trap You’ll slap to the disco clap Once you’re caught in the trap You’ll slap to the disco clap
Clap your ball and chain Clap your scrambled brain Clap your ping pong ball Clap your bathroom wall Clap your hot crossed buns Clap your priest and nuns Clap your rocking chair Clap your thinning hair
Ooooh, disco clap
It’s catching, it’s spreading Slap to the disco clap
You’ll catch it, you’ll spread it Once you’re caught in the trap You’ll slap to the disco clap Once you’re caught in the trap You’ll slap to the disco clap
Clap your old gray mare Clap your Medicare
Clap your loose false teeth Clap your funeral wreath Clap your coffin lid
Clap your pyramid
Clap your burial plot
Clap your slime and rot Clap a layer cake
Clap a garter snake
Clap two coffee mugs Clap a pair of jugs
Clap a young girl scout Clap an old dead trout Clap your family jewels Clap your partner’s too Clap your ball and chain Clap your scrambled brain Clap your ping pong ball Clap your bathroom wall Clap your hot crossed buns Clap your priest and nuns Clap your rocking chair Clap your thinning hair Clap your little feet


IT’S A GAS
OK Alfred, let’s boogie
Bluuugh
Bluuugh
Bleeech
Bluuugh
Blaaagh aaagh
Bleeech Bleeech Bleeech Bluuugh
Bluuugh Blaaagh Aaagh
Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh
Bluuugh Bluuugh Bleeegh Bluuugh Bleeegh Bluuugh
Now, everybody boogie
Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh
Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh Bluuugh