MINDSET

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COPYRIGHT © 2020 BY JAMES AARON

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CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION 04
MAKE A DECISION 05

UNDERSTANDING YOUR CURRENT SITUATION 07

Increase your conscious awareness 8
YOUR MIND 09

Conscious Mind 9

Subconscious Mind 9

YOUR PARADIGM 11

Paradigm & Cybernetic Mechanism 11

Comfort Zone 12
The Most Common Mistake 13

HOW TO CHANGE YOUR SELF-IMAGE 14

Environment 15

Acting like the new me & Getting out of my comfort zone 15

Autosuggestion 15

Visioneering 15
Perception 17

Dress to impress 17

ATTITUDE 18

Planning As If 19

Imitate, Emulate, Model 19

Cancel out negative beliefs 19
USING YOUR MENTAL FACULTIES 20

How To Use The Will 20

How To Use Memory 20

How to Use Intuition 21

How to Use Reason 21

CONCLUSION 22

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INTRODUCTION

In this two-part series, you will find out how you can go from a shy person with a poor
social life, to a person who is very confident, who has great social skills, who has
awesome friends and who lives a great social life. To improve your social skills, make
great friends and overcome shyness, you will need to change your current mindset by
developing proper habits and applying great strategies and tips. Part 1 of this series will
focus on your mindset and how to develop the self-image needed to revolutionize your
social life. We will go over where you are at mentally and help you get to where you want
to go. In part 2, you will receive definite strategies that you will apply to improve your social
skills and make great friends.

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MAKE A DECISION

You need a burning desire and a willingness to make a change.
Are you willing to do all that is required to change your social life and overcome
shyness?
If so, then make a quick and definite decision. Let go of the past and make an
irrevocable commitment to change your life. If you read this book once and say:
“Wow, great info.”
Or
“Interesting”
And you take no action, you will stay right where you are, and your life will not change. You
must read both books of the series over and over again (not just once) to understand and
apply the ideas contained therein. These ideas are geared to change you and to take you
out of your comfort zone. Go at your own pace but make sure you start now.
The way you are thinking is getting the results you are getting. You have to change the
way you think and act to start getting different results. Start thinking and acting differently
right now. Don’t procrastinate. Start applying the following ideas and break the habit of
procrastination.
You might have a tendency to say that you will start applying these ideas when something
in your life changes or when everything is “right,” but understand that it is that very thinking
that is causing the results you don’t like and that you are waiting to change. Things will never
be right until you stop thinking that way. To get rid of undesirable results, start thinking and
acting like the person you want to become, and let the past go. Burn the bridges and never

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go back.
You might say that you can’t start now because you just can’t see how everything will work
out, but you will never start to see how things will work out if you don’t make the decision
to change your life right now and start moving in the direction of where you want to go
step-by-step.
Make a decision that you will raise your standards and will no longer accept less than what
you deserve.
You are fully capable of having a great social life, and by applying the ideas in part 1 and 2
of the series, you will revolutionize your social life.

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR CURRENT SITUATIO

Your shyness and poor social life are an expression of the way you see yourself
subconsciously. This is referred to as your self-image. This self-image of yours
will dictate your habitual vibe, and your vibe attracts or repels people. Your vibe
is the way you feel. The way you feel also dictates your behavior. You will need to
change your self-image if you want to change your social life.
Your social life is a part of your life results. If you want to change your results, you have to
change some part of yourself. You can’t stay as the same person and get different results.
The part of you that must change is your self-image and mindset. Changing you will be
an uncomfortable process, and you will feel awkward. However, you must be willing to
do whatever is required to change your social life. You must be willing to get out of your
comfort zone. Change yourself, change your world.
To improve your social life, understand and acknowledge that your current situation is a
result of the person you are right now. Don’t blame anybody else or your past experiences
or present circumstances. Let the dead bury the dead. Move on. Turn your past failures
into stepping stones to a greater and more enjoyable life.
Become a new and improved person to change how people react to you. This series will
help you do that

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Increase Your Conscious Awareness

Understand that you aren’t living the way you’re living because you want to. You are living
the way you are because you are not aware and capable of living a better life (as of the
moment). If you were aware and capable, you would be living that life right now. You would
never live worse than you could live. To increase your conscious awareness and capabilities,
you must commit to a daily program of study and self-improvement. This two-part series
will help you do just that.
Read a part of the 2 books every day and implement the ideas you read. Understand that
you can only live a life that you vibe with: a life that resonates with you and is in harmony
with you. As you start gaining an understanding of why you are where you are and how you
change it, you will be able to start living the life of your dreams.

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YOUR MIND

You will need to gain a proper understanding of your mind and how it works if you
are ever going to change your mindset. Your mind is composed of two parts: the
conscious mind and the subconscious mind.

Conscious Mind

Your conscious mind is the part of your mind that thinks. This is the educated mind. This is
where your intellect is. You can choose whatever thoughts you want to have in your
conscious mind. You can accept or reject thoughts and ideas from the outside. You can
originate thoughts, images and ideas of any nature in your conscious mind. Your conscious
mind impresses thoughts, ideas and images onto the subconscious mind.

Subconscious Mind

This is your emotional mind. Whatever is placed in this part of your mind will dictate your
world. Any idea, thought or image that is impressed upon the subconscious mind cannot
be rejected. This part of your mind must accept everything that is given to it.

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Your subconscious mind is the part of your mind that stores your self-image. It contains all
beliefs that you have of yourself on a subconscious level. It also contains the conditioning
that you received through life, which is controlling your habitual attitude and behavior.
For example, you speak English because you were conditioned subconsciously to speak
English. You can’t directly control your subconscious mind and change your self-image.
However, there are ways that you can send ideas to it and alter/change your self-image,
which will allow you to start to successfully implement the strategies in part 2 of this series.
Before you can do anything in life, you first have to become somebody. You must be
someone, to be then able to do something, which will then allow you to get or have
something. Trying to change your social life without changing your self-image which is
causing your shyness would be like trying to change a reflection of yourself in a mirror: it
won’t work. Change your mindset, apply strategies and change your life.

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YOUR PARADIGM

Your paradigm is a program in your subconscious mind. This paradigm has been
formed through the repetition of thoughts, ideas, and beliefs being impressed
onto the subconscious mind. Either you have picked up those ideas through your
five senses over and over, or you have originated them in your conscious mind
yourself. Your paradigm will have been determined by how you have conditioned through
constant spaced repetition over a period of time. The paradigm contains the self-image.
This is important for you to understand because without understanding this, you will not
understand why you should apply the ideas in this part of the series, and you will very likely
disregard them.

Knowledge of your paradigm and how it works, gives you the understanding of what to do
to change part of it(the self-image) and why you are doing it.

Paradigm & Cybernetic Mechanism

Your paradigm acts like a cybernetic mechanism.
What the heck does that mean?
A cybernetic mechanism is a control system that sets a route towards a specific target/

goal/destination for a machine and or animal. If the machine or animal deviates from the
route that is set towards the goal, the cybernetic mechanism brings the machine or animal
right back on course.
For example, suppose you get on a plane in New York, and the plane is headed towards
LAX. During your flight, the pilot will activate the autopilot. The autopilot is a cybernetic
mechanism, meaning that if the plane gets knocked off of course and starts heading in
the wrong direction, the automatic pilots will sense the deviation from the set goal and
will communicate the information of deviation through the coordinating mechanisms; the
flaps of the plane and the thrust of the engines will be altered, bringing the plane right

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back on course. The plane will ultimately get back on course to LAX.

Well, the paradigm contains your self-image as well as your belief system. And if you try to
change your social life without changing the “set goal” in your subconscious, you’ll fail. You
act out according to your self-image most of the time. Most of the time, you aren’t thinking
of what to do. You just move into action. What you believe about yourself subconsciously
will determine your habitual behavior. If you try to change your habitual behavior without
shifting the paradigm, you will fail.

That’s why it’s crucial to change your self-image that is part of your paradigm so that you
can start acting in a way that will revolutionize your social life without thinking about it,
after turning the ideas in the series into habits.

The ideas in this book are designed in a way to help you change your paradigm. Your
paradigm controls your habitual vibe. This is more commonly known as your comfort zone.
When you act on an idea that makes you feel uncomfortable, awkward or scared, that is
a good sign! That idea is completely contrary to your current self-image, and your current
self-image is what’s causing your poor social life. If you keep acting out those ideas, your
self-image will change and your life will change, and the best part is that you will feel
totally comfortable acting out those ideas after a while. Your life will never go back to the
way it used to be.

Always remember that your paradigm is controlling your social life, so if you truly want
to change your social life, well, you will have to emotionally accept and act on ideas that
make you feel uncomfortable and scared but take you in the right direction. If you do not
feel uncomfortable and scared, this means the paradigm is in control and your results
won’t change.

Comfort Zone

It is very important that you understand that as you go to apply the ideas in part 1 and 2
of this series, you will feel scared, uncomfortable and awkward. Anytime you go to do
something that is contrary to the ideas and beliefs stored in your paradigm, you will feel
great discomfort and fear. When trying to change your social life, you will feel discomfort,
awkwardness and fear. This is normal as you are shifting the paradigm. Don’t let the
fear deter you from executing the concepts and strategies in this series. You must get
out of your comfort zone over and over again, in order to change the paradigm. If you are
persistent in applying these ideas and turning them into habits, you will eventually feel
very comfortable applying the ideas, and you’ll wonder how you could have ever lived any
other way.

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The Most Common Mistake

People are always trying desperately to change their end result. They are trying to lose
weight. They are trying to earn more money. They are trying to improve their social life. These
people do not understand that their results are determined by their habitual behavior, which
is their habitual way of acting. The way they habitually act is controlled by their paradigm
of subconscious mindset. They have not gained the understanding that their results have
always been, and always will be, caused by their subconscious conditioning. They may
consciously decide to change some result in their life, but the way they are conditioned
subconsciously will never ever allow that particular result to happen in their life. Their
self-image does not harmonize with that end. They may try to change their behavior (and
you know what they say about trying, it’s failing with effort) but the cybernetic mechanism
which is controlled by their subconscious will inevitably bring them back to their old ways.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, once said, “Of what use to make heroic vows of amendment if the
same old lawbreaker is to keep them.” These people are trying to change their results
without changing the cause of their results. They have no understanding of their mind, so
they think the cause of their results is their behavior. Their behavior is a secondary cause.
The first and primal cause is the paradigm.
People are eager to change their results, but don’t want to change themselves; therefore,
they remain stuck and bound to their current life results. Their life will never change until
they change their self-image.As you try to improve your social skills and change your social
life, you must change the part of the paradigm known as the self-image and apply great
strategies at the same time. This part of the series talks about how to shift the paradigm.
Part 2 talks about great strategies to employ to help revolutionize your social life.

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HOW TO CHANGE YOUR SELF-IMAGE

Repetition is the key to change. You have to continually shift your paradigm if you
really want to alter your self-image. You have to continually act on ideas and
strategies that make you feel uncomfortable until you feel very comfortable doing
them.
Start by writing out a description of the person you currently are. Write it out in detail on
one sheet of paper. Don’t exclude anything, and be completely honest and transparent.
Then, on another sheet of paper, write out your new self-image/identity. This is where you
will need to use your imagination and fantasize. Dream, and don’t hold back. Write out the
person you truly want to be. The only limitations are those you put on yourself or those you
accept from others. Describe the person you want to become, and how good this person’s
social skills and confidence is. Write out in full detail a description of the person who lives
the way you want to live and enjoys the social life you have always wanted.
When you are done, take the sheet that describes the old you, and burn it. Literally burn
the sheet of paper, and let go of the past. Whatever happened in the past, is the past.
Let go of all negative memories and negative beliefs about yourself. Let it all go! You are
starting a new way of living.

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Environment

Put yourself in an environment that is conducive to the unfoldment of the new you. Cut off
from your circle and environment anyone and anything that won’t help you grow and won’t
support you.

Pay close attention to the vibe you feel from others and the environment you are in. This
vibe is conditioning your self-image. Surround yourself with people you want to become
like.
Ask yourself, “Who would the new me be surrounded by?”

Acting Like The New Me & Getting Out Of My
Comfort Zone

Always keep the description of your new self-image before you. Read it often. You must
start now in all your affairs to act as that person would act in everything you do, no matter
how small or trivial. Remember that repetition is key to changing your self-image. Get out
of your comfort zone constantly. Think like the new you. Act like the new you. Look and
dress like the new you.

Autosuggestion

Autosuggestion is simply giving yourself a belief or idea that you want to impress upon your
subconscious mind. It is the practice of suggesting to yourself an idea or belief through
stimuli that reaches your five senses. It could be an affirmation of a belief you want to
embrace, a recording of your voice describing your mindset or an image or picture showing
how good you look. Any thought, belief, image or vision that reaches your conscious mind
from the outside world is a suggestion, and any suggestion that is stored in your subconscious
mind through repetition becomes part of your subconscious belief system.

Keep the description of the new you. As you read it, have the emotional belief that this is
actually you and start acting like the new you.

Get pictures of yourself when you are looking your absolute best. Post them in your
environment. These pictures should represent you at your very best and should match the
description of the new you.

Visioneering

Visioneering is the use of synthetic imagination. This is when you totally let your body
relax, close your eyes and emotionalize a vision of how you want to see yourself. The

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vision should be as real as if you had your eyes open. You should see, hear, smell, taste
and feel all elements in the vision.

Your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is
imagined. Remember, when you would watch scary movies and get emotionally involved
with the characters, you would get scared when danger arose or jump up if there was a
jump scare. The subconscious mind cannot reject whatever is impressed upon it. If you
doubt this, go watch The Exorcist III (1990). Watch its Nurse scene. This contains an extremely
scary jump scare. The very best I’ve ever seen. I would not recommend watching it unless
you are doubtful of how the subconscious works. Consciously you know it isn’t real, but the
subconscious controls your reaction and feeling.

What you want to do is use this to your advantage. Create a mental movie that is as real
as can be in your mind, of the person you now are. You must also get emotionally involved
and feel the vision as if it’s real right now.

Set aside 15 minutes at least three times a day to close your eyes, remove all distractions,
completely clear your mind, let yourself totally relax and begin to see yourself as you want
to see yourself. Add a lot of emotion to your vision. Let yourself feel like you are this person
right now. After 15 minutes, come out of your relaxed state and rewrite the description of
your self-image. Each time you do this process, you are altering the self-image. The old
self-image fades, and the new self-image gets stronger. The more you do this the faster
you will change.

Start to perceive yourself from within as the person that’s described in your description.

In the transition period, when you are in the process of implanting the new self-image
in your subconscious mind, there will be two people you can perceive. Every time your
attention shifts to the old you, make a mental shift and start perceiving yourself as the new
you.

Remember that the goal is not to become “fake”. You are changing you for the better.

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Perception

Use your perception to start to actually see yourself as the person you have described as
your new self-image. Every time your perception of yourself goes back to the old you, be
aware of that mental shift and shift back to the perception of the new you.

Dress to impress

You would want to dress like the new you. Improve your style and fashion sense. Although
this may impress some people, you are actually doing this to impress the image of the new
you on your subconscious mind. You actually want to look the part. Be thoughtful of your
appearance because this image is being impressed onto your subconscious.

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ATTITUDE

Your attitude is the positive or negative thinking, feeling and acting towards
something or someone. Your social life is an effect of your attitude towards
yourself and others. To revolutionize your social life, change your attitude towards
yourself and others.
Your attitude tells the world what you expect in life. The world will reflect back to you the
attitude you present to the world.

You must have the attitude that you can improve your social skills and make great friends.
Maintain the attitude in your day-to-day situations that you are already great in social
situations. Keep the attitude that you are already living a great social life, and take action
to bring it into your physical reality.

Start feeling like you already have great social skills. Start feeling like you are already a
very confident person. Feel like you already have great friends. Exude the vibe/energy of
someone who is living a great social life. Look people in their eyes, and convey the attitude
of someone that already has what you want.

Give the impression of increase to all those you come across, meaning always try to give
to others instead of trying to get something out of them. Become the type of person that
people love being around. Don’t try to be a people pleaser, but convey an attitude of the
person you want to become, and always stay in control of your attitude, regardless of
outside factors.

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Establish a great attitude in the morning. Great attitude, great social life. Bad attitude, bad
social life.
Your environment is a merciless mirror of your attitude.

Planning As If

If you were now the person you have described on your new self-image sheet (which you
are) what plan would you be making for today or tomorrow? Start to make plans that you
would make if you were already living the great social life that you have always dreamed
of, and act with purpose and determination to bring those plans to fruition using the
actionable strategies in parts 1 and 2 of this series.

Imitate, Emulate, Model

Find 6-10 people who you consider role models. People who you would love to be like.
Write their names down on a sheet of paper. Start now to model every aspect of their self
that you like.

Cancel Out Negative Beliefs

Right now you may have negative beliefs about yourself, which may prevent you from
achieving the self-image you want. You are going to have to let go of all negative beliefs.
Let them all go. They are not serving you, they are not helping you, and they will not bring
any good to you, so get them out. It’s all in your mindset. Most of all your negative beliefs
have been inherited. Someone of authority told you something, and without thinking, you
just accepted it. You probably had negative experiences in the past and have deduced
beliefs about yourself. You may have done things that you aren’t too proud of. That’s all
in the past. Let the dead bury the dead. You have a clean slate at every living moment.
Forgive and forget the past. Get rid of negative and limiting beliefs because all they do is
hold you down. Absolutely no good comes out of a negative belief about yourself. Let it go.

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USING YOUR MENTAL FACULTIES

You have various mental faculties that you can utilize to help change your social life.
You have perception, imagination, will, intuition, reason and memory. Perception
and imagination have been discussed in previous chapters.

How to Use the Will

Don’t try to apply your will to others or the outside. Use your willpower to keep the picture
of the new you in your mind at all times and to take action to make your physical reality
match your mental reality. Believe yourself a changed person. You can’t change your self-
image if you are constantly turning your attention to your past. Put the past behind you!
Keep your attention on the mental image of the new you.
Keep the picture of the person you want to be and act as you feel that person would. Get
emotionally involved with the vision of the new self-image. Ignore and forget the past.

How to Use Memory

Use your memory to advantage you and boost your confidence. Create a scene in your
mind where you are confident and are having a great time with friends. Get emotionally
involved with the vision and turn it into a “future memory”. Block out all negative memories
and create visions that match your new self-image, and use them as your new memories

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How to Use Intuition

Your intuition is your gut feeling. When applying the strategies in parts 2, you will feel the
vibe of the people you socialize with. Pay close attention to that vibe and decide if those
people are worthy of you and if you should associate with these people.

How to Use Reason

Pay close attention to your thoughts, especially your self-talk. What are you thinking about?
You want to think the thoughts that the new you would think. Think from the end. The future
becomes the present in your mind. Instead of thinking of what you want to be, become it
right now. Think from the place you want to end up, right now.

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CONCLUSION

Be sure to go at your own pace. Don’t try to act on all of these ideas at once. Turn
each idea into a habit, then move on to the next idea while also applying the
strategies in part 2 of this series. Commit to changing yourself and change your
life. Be sure to get your copy of part 2 of the series.

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IMPROVE YOUR SOCIAL SKILLS
AND MAKE GREAT FRIENDS

A COMPLETE GUIDE FOR SHY PEOPLE TO HELP REVOLUTIONIZE YOUR SOCIAL LIFE

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