Experiencing Compassion

330 Index

Exploring fears of compassion, 112–117 Limited co-therapy pairs, exploring attachment style and,
example: Fatima’s reflections, 114 105–108
example: Reflecting on my fears of compassion, 115
self-reflective questions, 116–117 Limited co-therapy SP/SR, challenges and benefits of,
20–21
Facilitator, of SP/SR, 23–24, 24t
Fears, about SP/SR, 22 Loving-kindness meditation, 230
Fears of compassion (FOC), 8; see also Exploring fears of
Meaning making, exercise for, 62–63
compassion Memory; see also Skill building using memory
in midprogram assessment, 166–167 compassion flowing out from, 225–226
Fears of Compassion Scale (FOCS), 33–35 Metta Bhavana practice, 230
exercise: Revisiting at end of therapy, 313 Midprogram assessment, 165–174
pretest scoring, 35
selected items from, 113 of CEAS-CS, 168
website for full, validated version, 112 of ECR-RS, 165–166
Fears/blocks, working with, 247 example: Revisiting Erica’s challenging problem,

Getting to know our multiple selves, 269–276 169–170
compassion and, 273–274 example: Revisiting Fatima’s challenging problem,
and emotions about emotions, 273
example: Joe’s multiple selves, 270–271 169
exercise for, 269–270 example: Revisiting Joe’s challenging problem, 169
exercise: My multiple selves, 272 exercise: Revisiting my challenging problem, 170–171
key emotions and, 269 of FOC, 166–167
self-reflective questions, 274–276 self-reflective questions, 171–174
Mindful breathing, 72–78
Gilbert, Paul, 4, 7, 112, 202, 214, 295 description of, 72–73
Group SP/SR example: Erica’s mindful breathing record, 73–74
guidelines for practicing, 73–74
creating safeness in, 23 self-reflective questions, 76–78
key elements of, 19–20 Mindful check-in, 141–148
defined, 141
Human experience, de-shaming way of understanding, 9 example: Erica’s mindful check-in record, 143
exercise: Mindful check-in practice, 142
Imagery; see also Internal compassionate supervisor; Safe- exercise: My mindful check-in during threat activation,
place imagery; Skill building using imagery
145
experiential exercise for, 94–95 exercise: My mindful check-in record, 143–144
introduction to, 94–95 and learning about mind’s movement, 141–142
new brain and, 61–62 self-reflective questions, 146–148
Individual SP/SR, advantages and disadvantages of, 18–19 Mindfulness, non-judgment and, 47, 72, 141, 157, 204
Intention, focus on, 250 Mindfulness of Self-Criticism Diary (MSCD), 157–164
Internal compassionate supervisor, 295–300 example: Erica’s MSCD, 158–160
example: Fatima’s compassionate supervisor worksheet, exercise: My MSCD, 160–161
purpose of, 157
303–304 self-reflective questions, 162–164
example: Joe’s reflections on, 298 Motivation to alleviate and prevent suffering, 8
exercise: and working with difficulty, 301–303 compassion and, 149
exercise: Creating, 298 exercise: How I relate to, 153
exercise: My compassionate supervisor worksheet, 305 Joe’s reflection on, 151
exercise: My reflection on, 298 “three circles” model of, 10
ideal traits of, 296–297 Motivational states, and organization of experience, 178
self-reflective questions, 299, 306–308 Motives, old-brain, 58–59
using to work with difficulties, 301–308 Multiple selves, 177; see also Getting to know our multiple
Internal critic, courage to listen to, 157
selves; Writing from the multiple selves
Judgments
about others, 230 New brain, functions of, 66f
about self, 7, 9, 47, 145, 187 New-brain threat responses, 61–65

Kindness, acts of, opening to, 250–256 example: Fatima’s reflections, 61–62
exercise: Reflections on new-brain thoughts, imagery,
Lee, Deborah, 295
Letter writing, compassionate; see Compassionate letter meaning making, 62–63
self-reflective questions and, 63–65
writing Non-judgment
and compassionate letter writing, 258
and first psychology of compassion, 204
mindfulness and, 47, 72, 141, 157, 204

Index 331

Old brain, functions of, 66f differing contexts for, 18–21
Old brain–new brain loops, 66f, 94 groups, 19–20
individual, 18–19
example: Fatima’s reflections on, 67 limited co-therapy groups, 20–21
example: Joe’s reflections on, 68 in supervision, 21
exercise: Exploring old brain–new brain loops, 69–70 in workshops, 21
exploring, 66–71
self-reflective questions, 70–71 essential elements of, 22–26
Old-brain threat responses, 58–59 creating sense of safeness, 22–23
example: Fatima’s reflections, 59 online discussion forums, 25–26
exercise for exploring, 60 SP/SF facilitator, 23–24, 24t
Online discussion forums, 25–26 time management, 26
Opening to kindness from others, 250–256 written reflections, 24–25
example: Erica’s worksheet, 251
exercise: My worksheet, 252–253 and identifying challenge/problem, 37–39
and focus on intention, 250 impact on CFT skills, 15f
self-reflective questions, 254–256 impact on participants, 14–16, 15f
individual versus limited co-therapy forms of, 14
Parasympathetic nervous system initial assessment in, 33–37
as CFT focus, 10
research on “braking” effects of, 51 baseline measures and, 33–37
issues to be avoided, 22
Perfect nurturer exercise, 295 Personal Safeguard Strategy in, 22–23
Personal relationships, ECR-RS and, 33–34, 165–166 versus personal therapy, 16
Personal Safeguard Strategy, 22–23 preparing for, 5–6
Professional attachments, 286–294 rationale for, 11–13
research on, 14–16
example: Joe’s attachments, 288–289 and structure of reflective questions, 16
exercise: Exploring my professional attachments, 290–291 value for CFT therapist, 16–17
self-reflective questions, 292–294 Self-to-self relating, safety strategies and, 130–133
Professional relationships, ECR-RS and, 287 Sensitivity to suffering
Protective strategies, 129–130 compassion and, 149
Psychotherapy, compassion focus in, 9 and compassionate letter writing, 258
exercise: How I relate to, 152
Reflections, written, 24–25 and first psychology of compassion, 203
Relationships, professional, 286; see also Professional Joe’s reflection on, 150
Shame, undoing, 9
attachments Shaped by experience, 79–86
Rewards, 10 example: Joe’s reflection, 80–81
exercise: Reflecting on experience, 82–83
Sad self, 269, 271, 273–274 self-reflective questions, 84–86
Safeness Skill building using imagery, 230–237
example: Erica’s reflection, 235
creating sense of, 22–23 exercise: Focusing compassion onto others, 231–234
in online discussion forums, 25
Safeness system, 10 all living beings, 234
Safe-place imagery, 94–101 someone who is neutral, 232
example: Fatima’s safe-place imagery, 97 someone you are close to, 231–232
example: Joe’s imagery practice, 95 someone you find difficult, 232–233
exercise: My imagery practice, 95–96 exercise: My reflection, 236
exercise: My safe-place imagery, 98 loving-kindness meditation and, 230–231
exercise: Safe-place imagery, 96–97 self-reflective questions, 237
self-reflective questions, 98–101 Skill building using memory, 225–229, 244–249
Safety strategies, 129–130 and compassion flowing in from memory, 244–245
self-to-self relating and, 130–133 and compassion flowing out from memory, 225–226
unintended consequences of, 130–133 example: Erica’s reflection on, 227
Self example: Fatima’s experience, 246
compassion flowing to, 257–266 exercise: Compassion flowing in from memory, 245
different versions of, 177–185 (see Compassionate self; exercise: Compassion flowing out from memory, 226
exercise: My experience, 246
Threat-based self) exercise: My reflection, 227
Self-compassion, therapist lack of, 12–13 with kind versus unkind memories, 247
Self-Criticism Diary; see Mindfulness of self-criticism self-reflective questions, 228–229, 248–249
and working with blocks/fears, 247
diary (MSCD) Social environment, behavior and, 79–80
Self-practice/self-reflection (SP/SR), 3

applications of, 14
choice of modules, 26–27

332 Index

Soothing rhythm breathing, 51–57 of parasympathetic nervous system impacts on, 51
alternatives to, 54 regulating effects of, 51 (see also Soothing rhythm
exercise for, 52–53
practice plan for, 54–55 breathing)
self-reflective questions for, 55–57 Threat-based self, 177–185
Threat-focused formulation in CFT
Spider diagrams, 177–178, 178f
Struggle, relating to, 149–150 downward-arrow technique and, 125
Suffering example: Joe’s downward arrow technique, 125
exercise: Exploring my safety strategies, unintended
changing relationship with, 202–204
engagement with, 258 consequences, relating, 135
and motivation, commitment to alleviate and prevent, exercise: Fatima’s CFT case formulation worksheet, 134
exercise: My CFT case formulation worksheet, 124, 137
7–8 exercise: My historical influences and key fears, 123
preparing and acting to alleviate and prevent, 258 historical influences and key fears, 118
relating to, 149–150 key fears and threats, 119
sensitivity and motivation in responding to, 150–151
Supervisor example: Exploring Fatima’s historical influences and
internal, 295–296 (see also Internal compassionate key fears, 119–121

supervisor) Fatima’s CFT case formulation worksheet, 122
relationship with (see Professional attachments) safety strategies and, 129–130
Sympathy safety strategies and unintended consequences,
and compassionate letter writing, 258
and first psychology of compassion, 203 129–140
self-reflective questions, 125–128, 138–140
Therapeutic relationship, CFT and, 11–12 unintended consequences and, 130–133
Therapist; see CFT therapist Three-circles/Three-systems model of emotion, 43–50, 102
Threat checking in with, 47
example: Fatima’s reflection, 44–45
as brain’s priority, 250 exercise: Reflections, 45–46
example: Joe’s reflections on, 179–180 and impact of our interactions on clients, 238
exercise: How threat organizes my mind and body, self-reflexive questions, 48–50
Time management, in SP/SR, 26
181–182
and organization of experience, 177–178, 178f Unintended consequences, of safety strategies, 130–133
self-reflective questions, 183–185 Unpacking compassion, 149–156
Threat responses
new-brain, 61–65 example: Joe’s reflection, 150
exercise: How I relate to suffering and struggle,
example: Fatima’s reflections, 61–62
exercise: Reflections on new-brain thoughts, imagery, 152–153
by relating to suffering and struggle, 149–150
meaning making, 62–63 self-reflective questions, 154–156
self-reflective questions, 63–65
old-brain, 58–59 Workshops, SP/SR in, 21
example: Fatima’s reflections, 59 Writing from the multiple selves, 277–285
exercise for exploring, 60
Threat system, 10 example: Erica’s multiple-selves exercise, 278–279
mindful check-in and, 145 exercise: Writing from my multiple selves, 277–278,
new-brain responses to, 61–65
old-brain responses to, 59–60 280–282
self-reflective questions, 282–285
Written reflections, 24–25

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