Men's Journal 11.12 2021

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“EVERYBODY’S VOLUME 30 NUMBER 6
HAPPY HERE. WE
GOOD. WHYY’ALL 36p.
MAD ATTHAT?”
Hart’s Afire

When he’s not busy being a
superstar and CEO while launching
Netflix’s True Story, Kevin Hart
relaxes by doing everything else.

42p.

The End of California

Has the American Dream state
finally reached its rude awakening?

55p.

Grassroots Racing
Takes hold

NASCAR legend Tony Stewart
gambled on SRX—and won again.

60p.

The Return of the
Motor Lodge

These sleek makeover motels are
way sexier than Norman Bates.

70p.

Samurai of Yosemite

Half Dome’s terrifying Bushido
Gully is no winter playground—
unless you’re testing fate on skis.

2 NOV/DEC 2021 MEN’S JOURNAL

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NOTEBOOK GIFT GUIDE 2021 104
Don’t mess with
Uncle June.

BLUEPRINT

8 Opener 22 For the Winter Adventurer 92 Fitness

Mountain biking’s next bucket lister. An unstoppable snowmobile; shred, How an HBO nerd morphed into a
shoe ’n sleep like a mountain man. ripped, Marvel-ready Adonis.
12 Auto
24 The Hunter 96 What Works for Me
Porsche’s latest 911: pure power,
zero pretense. If these stalking stuffers don’t give These doable little habits don’t
you the edge out there, nothing will. just defuse stress, says Microsoft’s
14 Wildlife Satya Nadella. They reboot your life.
26 The Home Chef
Smile, African poachers. You’re on 98 Fuel
AI camera. The sharpest tools and handiest
comfort food equipment. Finally—inspired trail grub that
16 Media doesn’t include the word “crunch.”
28 The Hard-to-Please Guy
Jimmy Chin chronicles cave diving’s 100 Trackers
most harrowing rescue. In two pages, we’ll make him feel
very grateful to you. Every conceivable training and
18 Food trekking metric for your wrist.
32 The Spirits Snob
Meet New Jersey’s very own LAST WORD
Picasso of premium-aged pork. At least one of these top shelfers
isn’t nearly as pricey as it looks. 104 Corey Stoll
20 We’re With Her
33 The Ladies Is he a Sopranos heavy, a West Side
Heidi Gardner would’ve gladly cut Story cop or a cheeky billionaire?
your hair this Saturday, but she’s Now she’s fully covered—from hair All the above.
tied up being an SNL MVP. to hand pouch, and hat to tech.

4 NOV/DEC 2021 MEN’S JOURNAL

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Letter From
the Editor

HOME OF DISEASE, “Well, it’ll be a first. These guys are
legends. They’ve, like, lived in caves
A bribery, corruption, in Yosemite for 10 years.”
crookedness, rape,
white slavery, “What do you mean they’ve lived
thievery and in caves for 10 years?”
murder.” Those are the accusations
J. Edgar Hoover, at the time It’s true, one of the guys in our
Director of the Federal Bureau of “Yosemite Samurai” feature, Zack
Investigation, slung at motels in a Milligan, lived in park caves for
widely circulated magazine article years, working odd jobs for cash,
published in 1940. Yeah, my family being constantly hounded by
stayed in our fair share of motels rangers and going on daring rock
in the Midwest during the ’70s face ascents at every opportunity.
and even as a kid I knew they were One of his expedition comrades,
sketch. The first time I ever saw a Jason Torlano, is a volunteer medic
condom vending machine was in a in Middle East war zones and a
motel bathroom. father of four. “Daddy’s home!”
All those things seem vaguely must carry a shit ton of relief in that
entertaining in the rearview mirror, man’s household.
and that’s where they should stay.
If you’ve traveled by car in the past The guy on our cover also has
several years you’ve likely noticed four kids and is in the middle of a
that the motel industry is having journey, of sorts. As the highest-paid
quite a resurgence. Or, rather, a comic in Hollywood, Kevin Hart has
very welcome hipster makeover. an absolutely packed work schedule,
A few places I’ve patronized have carries the burden of 100-plus
had bars that offer craft beer, free employees dependent on his success
apple cider doughnuts for breakfast, for a paycheck and must contend
movie nights, fancy soaps and even with the Twitter mob for every past
nighttime bonfires. You can find and present transgression, all the
one of these uncut gems just about while trying to figure out the next
anywhere worthwhile visiting in best decision for his own self. How
the U.S., and a few of the best are does he do it? Kevin suits up early
featured in our “Return of the Motor every morning and figures it out.
Lodge” feature.
Some people, of course, don’t OK, enough romanticizing. Check
mind going without a warm bed at out the Porsche on p. 12, our epic
night. gift guide on p. 22 and California’s
“I got this story about these obituary on p. 42. Enjoy the issue!
guys who plan to ski Half Dome
in Yosemite,” suggested an editor JAMES HEIDENRY
during a pitch meeting several
months ago. Editorial Director
“You can ski Half Dome?” I asked.

6 NOV/DEC 2021 MEN’S JOURNAL



DISPATCHES FROM A WILD WORLD

DOWN WITH FEAR

I

8 NOV/DEC 2021 MEN’S JOURNAL by EUGENE BUCHANAN photos by CHRIS WELLHAUSEN

MEN’S JOURNAL

MEN’S JOURNAL NOV/DEC 2021 9

ADVENTURE

In between is everything from rolling, dreams of dying before it opened,” Winans The Palisade Plunge
flower-filled single-track to technical, says of the undertaking. isn’t all about daring.
don’t-fall switchbacks. Throw in sweeping Plenty of areas let you
vistas of the La Sal and San Juan ranges, This is an adventure trail, with conse- kick back and enjoy.
desert spires of Colorado National Mon- quences, but it’s not a full-gear “gravity”
ument and lush farmland of the Grand trail. There’s too much up for that. As well 1,900. Eventually you’ll round a corner
Valley and it’s one you’ll want to notch as descending 6,000 feet, you’ll also climb and see Palisade and the Colorado River
on your seat post. below. Don’t celebrate too soon—there’s
still 3,000 vertical feet to go before you
“It’s definitely a marquee draw for the can cross the Plunge off your list and
region,” says Winans, head of the Colorado dunk in the river at trail’s end.
Plateau Mountain Bike Trail Association.

The first section winds 11.8 miles
through alpine terrain from Mesa Top
to Shirttail Point. Then it gets spicier,
seemingly dropping off the edge of the
world. Starting with a series of spiral
staircase-like switchbacks (no dishonor
in walking here), the next three-mile
section follows a reworked portion of
the century-old Otto’s Wall trail before
dropping like a shot of whiskey for the final
19.2 miles through cliff bands, slickrock
ramps and creek beds.

The trail took nine different stakeholders
a decade to plan and build. “I was having

TOWN AND COUNTRY

On the Colorado River, rugged Palisade is the perfect headquarters for a post-ride hang.

BIKE Rapid Creek Cy- are early stops on the Like the locals, Pêche
pedal-friendly Fruit & and Palisade Brewing
cles offers rental bikes Wine Byway tour. Company (below) are
and a $35-per-person
shuttle for the 1.5-hour EAT Palisade Café & hearty and eclectic.
drive to the trailhead.
The nearby town of Wine Bar bases meals
Fruita has fantastic around local produce
desert single-track at and wine. Pêche does
18 Road—Zippity, PBR everything from Thai-
and Chutes and Lad- fried chicken and fresh
ders are classic trails. lamb to port short ribs
and charred ribeye. Like
SHOOT Cameo peaches? Sweet Cheeks
Peach Stand serves sev-
Shooting Complex is en varieties of organic
a 1,700-acre facility peaches on 20 acres.
with electronic-scoring
shooting and archery CRASH Spoke & Vine
bays; sporting clay
ranges; and 3D archery is a renovated 1950s-era
trail loops with life-size motel catering to trail
foam targets. riders with cruiser
bikes, craft beer and
DRINK There are 40 cornhole. Within walk-
ing distance of town,
wineries in the area, its welcoming website
including five within banter—“If you’re
a mile radius of town. ‘high maintenance’ this
East Orchard Mesa, might not be the place
Talbott Farms and for you.”—sets the tone.
Talbott’s Cider Co.

10 NOV/DEC 2021 MEN’S JOURNAL

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Tom Petty’s “You Wreck double-wishbone front axle suspension automatically deploying rear spoiler. You
Me” plays on the Porsche derived from one of the brand’s Le Mans lose a smidge of downforce, but unless
911 GT3’s sound system, race cars, paired with four-wheel steering. you’re dying to shave milliseconds off
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simply piloting—a car can be. the composition. The machine could do it paint job ($840) to LED matrix headlights
The 911 GT3 Touring is a dying breed, better, of course. But with far fewer thrills. ($3,270) to carbon fiber bucket seats
a highly adept sports car powered by a ($5,900). Pricey, yes. Yet it’s already beat
naturally aspirated engine, a four-liter, The Touring model GT3 is for the guy the brand’s wild, near-million-dollar 918
502-horsepower, six-cylinder boxer. There who likes to drive one of the most exclusive Spyder around the Nürburgring. The GT3
are cheaper machines that put out bigger 911 variants around yet doesn’t need to is essentially a race car with a sweet radio.
numbers. We’re in an era where sports cars
pile on more power, via superchargers or Cue the Petty.
battery-electric powertrain technology.
Yet they’re not piling on any more fun.

12 NOV/DEC 2021 MEN’S JOURNAL by JESSE WILL

THE GT3 IS BASICALLY A RACE
CAR WITH A SWEET STEREO.

The GT3’s rear spoiler Want traction? The
automatically deploys, rear axle turns up to
obvs. two degrees.

MEN’S JOURNAL NOV/DEC 2021 13

WILDLIFE

Thermal-imaging cameras (above)
and solar-powered camera

systems (below) are now part of
the ranger’s arsenal.

STALKING SMARTER

Innovative tech and AI promise to help fight poaching epidemics
racing through parts of Africa and Asia.

ARLY in August, movement aimed at protecting habitat and wildlife. Other groups are working on different WWF-US/COLBY LOUCKS (JEEP); WWF-US/JAMES MORGAN (SOLAR PLATFORM)
Rates of poaching are increasing, partic- solutions: traceable chips embedded in rhino
E in a remote part of Ken- ularly in Africa where poachers kill an horns and elephant tusks to bust trading
ya’s Maasai Mara National elephant every 15 minutes, according to networks; tracking collars that monitor
Reserve woke a sleeping the World Animal Foundation. wildlife movement for signs of stress;
trail camera. In seconds analytical tools that identify patterns, like
a processor chip took four photos, ran “Technology is going to play a critical poaching hot spots; and the CAKE Kalk
an artificial intelligence program that roll in saving wildlife,” says Eric Becker, AP, an electric dirt bike designed to help
recognized a human shape and sent the a conservation engineer with the WWF, rangers sneak up on poachers. “We usually
highest-quality image via satellite to park a wildlife-focused NGO. “The right tools have to hack or custom develop conser-
headquarters. Rangers saw it was one of can be a force multiplier for rangers.” vation tools,” Becker says. “Off-the-shelf
their own on patrol, not a poacher on an solutions aren’t usually baboon-proof.”
illegal hunt, dismissed the alert and got Rangerstypicallyhuntforsigns of poach-
back to work. False alarm, sure, but for ing during the day and conduct stakeouts Preventative and noninvasive measures,
biologist Eric Dinerstein it was proof a new at night. Efforts are often futile, wasting like TrailGuard, are the most valuable,
technology called TrailGuard AI works. scarce resources, and, when successful, says Dinerstein. An early version of the
“Nothing beats a photo for telling if dangerous. At least 1,000 rangers have device alerted rangers to a group of poach-
it’s a cattle herder or someone carrying died at work in the last decade, as many as ers entering Serengeti National Park in
an AK-47,” says Dinerstein, who helped half those deaths at the hands of poachers. Tanzania. With the help of tracking dogs,
develop the system for RESOLVE, a the rangers arrested 30 poachers.
conservation nonprofit. “TrailGuard is New tech is helping save wildlife and
a camera, but I think of it more as an make the ranger’s job safer. In Kenya, “Several million years of canine olfactory
AI-supported poacher alarm.” Becker, a former Air Force Research lab evolution and the latest tech and AI,” says
Now being distributed to parks across engineer, helped deploy thermal-imag- Dinerstein. “It’s a killer combination.”
Africa and Asia, the devices are part of a ing cameras to spot poachers from afar.
growing pool of innovative technology “Rangers no longer patrol randomly,”
he says. “They can set up to completely
overwhelm the poachers and make arrests.”

“OFF-THE-SHELF SOLUTIONS AREN’T
USUALLY BABOON-PROOF.”

14 NOV/DEC 2021 MEN’S JOURNAL by RYAN STUART



MEDIA

Chin’s new film
dissects a tense
rescue operation.

JIMMY CHIN TO THE RESCUE

After scoring an Oscar in the mountains, Jimmy Chin goes cave-diving with a stunning documentary.

ITH 2018’s Academy that requires extraordinary expertise. You PICKING A PAL NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC (DIVER); JIMMY CHIN COLLECTION (CHIN)
have to devote your whole life to it. That’s
W Award–winning film something I understand coming from the “Expeditions and films have simi-
Free Solo, Jimmy Chin world I come from and the people I’ve larities,” says Chin. “Lots of moving
and co-director/wife worked with for the last 20 years. parts and everyone has to carry
Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi their weight, literally, figuratively.”
documented Alex Honnold, renowned So you could relate? Here are Chin’s tips for finding a
for climbing Yosemite’s El Capitan alone When I met the divers there was an im- perfect adventure partner.
without any cheats like, er, ropes. mediate level of mutual understanding:
Now they head the other direction: “OK, he gets it.” They know you’ve been Start small
underwater. In 2018, a Thai junior soccer there in high-stakes situations. I might “Get to know someone in lower-
team visited a cave, only to have a flood even take it for granted: Oh, that’s totally stakes situations and build up.”
trap them two miles from where they normal. Chai has that outside perspective:
entered. In theaters Oct. 8, The Rescue is “No, that’s not normal. Not everybody Exploit differences
a documentary that follows cave divers’ thinks that way.” “We [Jimmy and wife Chai] started
desperate attempts to save them. Coming working together [in 2015] and it
in November, Chin’s first book, There and Example of an extreme act that struck was clear I brought something to
Back: Photographs from the Edge, covers you as “Sure, why not?” the table and she brought some-
his career as perhaps the world’s most Free soloing El Cap! I’d known Alex for thing and we put those together.”
celebrated adventure photographer. years. I knew exactly where his head was
going. Chai had to remind me, “Free so- Lead and follow
What drew you and Chai to The Rescue? loing in any shape or form is completely “Oftentimes your partner has to take
We were looking for depth. There are outrageous.” I had to go, “Yeah.” I free the lead when you’re not feeling up
extraordinary stakes where people have solo, too. Obviously not the way Alex is for pushing ahead. And vice versa.”
to make really difficult decisions facing free soloing.
insurmountable odds. Find faith
“There’s gotta be a lot of trust. When
You have climbing experience, less so Whileworking on a film doyou everthink, stakes are higher, you need more trust.”
cave diving. Was it difficult adjusting? “I smell an Oscar nod”?
I get what it means to pursue a very poten- No. If we were looking for an Oscar we’d
tially dangerous calling. The obsession, be in trouble. Focus on the story, on the
the focus on the craft of this fringe activity craft. It’s gotta be about the process.

16 NOV/DEC 2021 MEN’S JOURNAL by SEAN CUNNINGHAM

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FOOD

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THE KING OF
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Forget Barcelona or Catalonia. The world’s greatest jamón may come from...New Jersey?

OODIES go to great lengths Why all the fuss? Close The pork-tastic counter at Caseiro e Bom,
your eyes while a paper-thin Duarte’s store in Newark’s Ironbound.
F to get their lips on the slice of Duarte’s aged pre-
world’s finest ham. But sunto (Portuguese for ham) during the pandemic. “I’m not scared of
if you wouldn’t transport dissolves over your tongue. finding customers,” he says. “I’m scared
prize boar sperm from As its marbleized fat melts, of trying to keep up with demand. I don’t
Portugal, invest $200,000 to import your taste buds are bom- want to rush the process.”
your own pigs, raise litters free range barded with a range of
on organic grains and imported acorns, sweet, buttery, nutty and Thanks to Duarte’s new online shop
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years—well, then you’re not as obsessed as the world’s finest wines without humping to Newark. Slice it as
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The son of pig farmers in Portugal, flavor comes from the pigs and, if you must, pair with aged Manchego,
Duarte grew up raising and butchering themselves, an ancient line crusty bread and a good bottle of wine or
hogs, but didn’t have the opportunity to of black hogs called pata negra praised in sherry-finished whiskey.
open his own place until he emigrated writing two thousand years ago.
to Newark, New Jersey’s Portuguese en-
clave, the Ironbound district, where he The easiest comparison is to Spain’s
worked at a supermarket meat counter famous jamón Ibérico de bellota, which
while saving for his own butcher shop. can sell for $4,500 a leg. But some think
“I didn’t really sleep back then,” Duarte Duarte’s New Jersey–crafted delicacy is
says. “I worked long shifts, then stayed even better—he’s claimed top honors at
up all night making my own sausages.” the Charcuterie Masters international
In 2010, he bought a bodega and con- competition every year since 2016. Now
verted the back into a smokehouse and it’s on the menu of some of New York
every inch of ceiling space into a pork and New Jersey’s finest restaurants, with
lover’s paradise, dangling dozens of ham Duarte charging $499 a pound for a leg
legs you have to duck beneath to approach aged for four years. Sales increased even
the counter. Then he bought a farm where
he raised free-range domestic pigs, before DON’T SULLY IT IN A SANDWICH. THIS HAM MIRIAM STEIN BATTLES
becoming the only person in the United DEMANDS TO BE WORSHIPPED ALONE.
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true black Portuguese Alentejano hogs.

18 NOV/DEC 2021 MEN’S JOURNAL by CHARLES COXE

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DECEMBER 16 - 19

DEW TOUR IS BACK AT COPPER MOUNTAIN

After a brush with
death, the hottest
comic in the world
is finding happiness
on new stages and
new boardrooms.

But will he ever
return to the
stadium?

36 NOV/DEC 2021 MEN’S JOURNAL

by JESSE WILL
photography by
BRIAN BOWEN
SMITH

MEN’S JOURNAL NOV/DEC 2021 37

A few minutes after
he enters the Zoom,
Kevin Hart breaks
off on a tangent. The
world’s top-gross-
ing comic is work-
shopping a bit in
an empty L.A. soundstage—imagining
what it would be like to address a full
arena again for the first time since 2019.
The 42-year-old Hart reclines on a tan
leather couch in a white T-shirt, hand
wrapped around a desktop mic. He dials
up that high, kinetic voice. The one
that’s made tens of millions of people
lose their shit since his 2008 breakout.

“How’s everyone feelin’? Vaccinations?
No vaccinations? Delta? No Delta?
Masks? No masks? Hey, guys! Guys!!
Take your masks off!! I mean, put ’em
back on!! Wait—what side am I on? Oh,
do y’all want me to put this on?? I will!”

“My next special’s gonna be called
Confused as Fuck,” riffs Hart. “Because
that’s what I am.”

PREVAILING WITH PURPOSE

Hart may have some bewilderment at
the future of doing stand-up in front

“WHAT’S THE VERSION OF YOUR

of tens of thousands, but the man has
no confusion as to the trajectory of his
empire. It’s blowing up. (“Like Ramses
the Second,” one Hollywood exec tells
me.) Just this year, Hart shot three
feature-length movies slated for release
in 2022, alongside actors like Woody
Harrelson and Cate Blanchett; starred
in Fatherhood, a drama viewed in 90
million households on Netflix; signed
a four-movie contract with the same
streamer; produced TV shows like Dave
and Celebrity Game Face; published a
middle-grade novel and released a mo-
tivational audiobook; launched a reality
show about muscle cars for Motor Trend;
anchored a celebrity interview TV show
called Hart to Heart; premiered Comedy
Gold Minds, a top-ranked podcast; and
oversaw his own businesses: HartBeat,
a production company that specializes

38 NOV/DEC 2021 MEN’S JOURNAL

in film and television, and Laugh Out snatching a purse (his mom took him to an extortion attempt after a sexual esca-
Loud, a comedic entertainment entity court and got him off ). To avoid Kevin pade (2017), a fistfight with a personal
and satellite radio channel. sharing the same fate, Nancy packed his trainer (2019) and the portrayal of a
after-school life with extracurriculars. superstar comedian who doesn’t think
That’s just 2021, and this list is abbre- Swimming, bowling, anything to keep he’s gotten his due respect (ongoing).
viated. The scope of it all is wide enough him off the street. Hart’s mother died Onscreen, these stories take violent
to make other actors and comedians— in 2007 and never got to see him take turns that didn’t occur in real life.
and you and me—seem hopelessly lazy. the stage, but her plan worked. The
packed calendar stays. “I love the idea of a good person
“I’ve got a lot going on, but I’m still pushed to the space of becoming a bad
young and kicking,” says Hart, speaking HART TRANSPLANT one,” says Hart. “What’s the version of
in front of an abstract painting in fiery your life where you’ve just been pushed
red and orange. He pushes back at the Hart’s backstory forms the backdrop of his too far? Where is the edge? What does
notion that he might be overcommitted. latest project, True Story, a seven-episode that rebuttal look like?”
limited series on Netflix premiering
“If it’s not something that’s going to Nov. 24. It’s a drama about a super- Producer Eric Newman (Narcos; Nar-
be a good time or create passion, I say star comic named Kid who returns to cos: Mexico) created the Kid character
no. It’s not for me. I need the energy.” his hometown of Philly to kick off an with Hart after the actor pitched him
arena tour. While reconnecting with a work-in-progress called Crazy Kevin.
Though broad, Hart’s approach isn’t his semi-estranged brother Carlton, a
scattershot. Over the course of the pan- night goes terribly wrong. “I wasn’t that interested in Kevin as
demic, HartBeat and LOL expanded a kind of Dexter or avenging angel,”
rapidly. Both companies doubled their “I saw it as an opportunity to create says Newman. “So we came up with
employee base as the race for streaming a mindfuck atmosphere,” says Hart. “Is this water-water-everywhere-but-not-a-
services to put out new content—from that Kevin? Is that not Kevin? What the drop-to-drink idea where this megastar
creators of color, especially—heated up. hell is going on?” is surrounded by people at his beck and
Chief operating officer Thai Randolph call, none of whom he can tell the truth
says that HartBeat and LOL “have been Hart, of course, plays Kid, wrestling to about the acts that he’s done. He has
a part of an ‘inclusion revolution’ in with the sociopathy of superstardom— to rely on this wayward brother.”
the entertainment industry,” where while Wesley Snipes is utterly believable
audiences of color show up in droves as the world-weary Carlton. Other ele- I tell Hart that it’s an interesting
and dollars follow. “I’ve never worked ments of the series also mirror stories choice to fictionalize your life story yet
with someone as funny as Kevin,” says ripped from Hart’s own pages. There’s purposefully explore the “wrong” paths.
Randolph, “but he’s as focused as any
executive I’ve ever reported to.” “As a writer, I think there’s a lot of

Hart has a knack for dreaming up Kevin’s Clunkers
viral fodder. Take his and Snoop Dogg’s
hilarious and profane Olympic Highlights “Cars are a real joy of mine,” says Hart, whose collection is extensive even by
show for the streaming network Peacock, legendary comedian standards. “I love learning about the technology and the
produced by LOL. You might have seen fabrication on all levels. I respect all that goes into it.” Here’s a smokin’ slice of
a clip: As an Olympic equestrian rider his go-fast tastes.
has a horse make stilted lateral steps
in a competition, Snoop notes that the Ferrari 488 GTB
horse looks like it’s Crip Walking—a Hart has many Ferraris, including a 488 Gran
1970s street dance move from Comp- Turismo Berlinetta made from 2015-2019. The
ton—and says, “I gotta get this m—f-er $262,000 supercar features a V8 with a tur-
in a video.” Hart turns from the camera, bocharger (slightly controversial at the time—
keeling over. It’s the antithesis of staid Ma perché?) that makes 661 horsepower.
Olympic commentary.
Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG
Earlier this year, it was a tossed-off With gull-wing doors, a front-mid-engine
idea—Hart playing the straight sports layout and a naturally aspirated V8, the
announcer to Snoop. Of course the SLS-AMG (2010-2015) pays homage to the
half-baked concept landed as cleanly brand’s iconic, mid-century 300SL. Of course,
as Suni Lee off the balance beam. it hits 60 mph just a tad faster—in 3.5 seconds.

“I’m really falling in love with the 1970 Dodge Charger
business of the business,” says Hart. Hart’s replacement for the wrecked Barra-
cuda is an even wilder piece of Mopar metal.
If you were to peer at his current Tuning company Speedkore swapped in a
schedule, you’d see a lack of empty space. 1,000-horsepower “Hellephant” V8 and gave
Actually, this is kind of a constant since it a roll cage—y’know, for safety.
Hart’s youth. He grew up in a one-bed-
room apartment in North Philadelphia,
and was raised by his mother, Nancy
Hart, who kicked out his father, Rob-
ert Witherspoon (battling addiction),
when Kevin was 8. His brother, Robert,
dealt drugs, was in a gang, got caught

MEN’S JOURNAL NOV/DEC 2021 39

meat on that bone,” says Hart. “Dark you back? (“I don’t know, but she did. picking Hart up to sit on the bedside
roads can sometimes lead to discovery.” We good. Why y’all mad at that?”) Etc. loo. When Hart realizes that he needs
this stranger to wipe, he sobs. He asks
DEFENDING YOUR LIFE “Whenever obstacles present them- God why his legs and arms are numb,
selves, I’ve had to find the solution,” says yet he still has feeling—elsewhere. “Why
Hart gets a call on FaceTime. “Hold Hart. “Once I find the solution, I find not numb that up, too? At the lowest
up—it’s my best friend, Nick Cannon…. happiness. That cycle repeats. Work to point of my life, why let me feel José
Nick, I’m doing a Zoom interview but find the solution, find happiness. Let it wiping my ass?”
I had to stop ’cause I figured you had all go. There’s nothing else you can do.”
on a turtleneck or suit I needed to see.” Things would get better for Hart—
WHAT MAKES US STRONGER with work, of course, which he’s good
Hart cracks up, teases Cannon for a at. Through extensive rehab, Hart was
bit, then I ask him about the challenge The thing is, the growth and happiness walking within weeks. Trainer Ron Ev-
of putting out a stand-up special every of Hart’s last two years almost didn’t erline spent months with Hart helping
other year. Most of them were recorded happen. On Sept. 1, 2019, at around 12:45 to rebuild his physique from scratch,
near the end of a run of 150-plus tour a.m., Hart’s 1970 Plymouth Barracuda starting with four-pound dumbbells.
dates. (2020’s Zero F**ks Given, filmed barreled off Mulholland Highway and
in his Calabasas mansion over six weeks into a culvert, crushing its baby blue “The toughest thing was slowing his
during Covid, was the exception.)
“DARK ROADS CAN SOMETIMES
“The conversation of stand-up is LEAD TO DISCOVERY. THERE’S A
tough. I truly do love stand-up comedy. LOT OF MEAT ON THAT BONE.”
That’s my drug. That’s my reason for
sitting in this chair. But me going on roof like a candy wrapper. Hart was a rush, getting him to throttle back,” says
tour for a year? I think that’s done.” passenger. Jared Black, the fiancé of Everline. “We talked a lot about how
Hart’s wife’s personal trainer, was at other people have gotten through this,
It’s more than a scheduling problem. the wheel—losing control of the heavily and he could get through this too—that
As a CEO, a chairman and advisor, modified 720-horsepower machine he didn’t need to be a superhero.”
there are over a hundred people now on a turn less than a mile from Hart’s
depending financially on Hart—and Calabasas home. Black, who suffered While some might see the accident as
comedy can be a reckless act. major back injuries, and fiancé Rebecca a message from upstairs to ease up on
Broxterman were airlifted from the the high-horsepower heavy metal, Hart
“The one thing I did that acted as scene. Hart was able to crawl out and doubled down, upping his collection of
freedom was stand-up comedy. Well, was taken to the hospital hours later. vintage cars—and filming a show about
I don’t have as much freedom in that All three recovered within months. No it. “Honestly, I think I’m just built a
space as I once did, because of the times. charges by any party have been filed. little different,” he says. “I mean, they
One slipup that I didn’t see as a slipup don’t call accidents accidents for no
that the world sees is a slipup creates a “When I opened my eyes in the hospital reason. They’re not called purposes.”
conversation—and in the corporate place I said, ‘Oh, God…Thank God I’m alive.’
that becomes a, y’know, clusterfuck.” You get one life—and I’m fortunate to NO LIMITS
still have mine.”
Hart is referring to what he himself And in the end, what is Hart’s purpose?
calls the “Oscars debacle”—where he Hart suffered spinal fractures in his He says that it’s not, as some have pos-
withdrew as the host of the Academy lumbar and thoracic areas. Surgeons ited, to become a billionaire. “Though
Awards ceremony in 2018 after years- fused the vertebrae. The injuries, doctors there’s about to be one,” he says. “That
old antigay jokes resurfaced. told him, were millimeters away from number isn’t a goal, but it presents an
paralyzing him. Hart expands on the opportunity to break a narrative. There
“In my apology and my recognizing experience of recovering in the hospital aren’t many black men in that group.”
the reality of what I didn’t see, I found a in Zero F**ks Given:
solution—I did my part,” says Hart. “Be- So Hart grinds on.
yond that, I can’t control what happens. “[In the hospital] I thought about “There’s a reason behind the march.
So now I’m gonna move forward and be a lot. Because I thought about a lot, A reason behind the run. There’s a
happy in knowing that I’m better than I can now ask you things that I know reason behind the reach, or the jump,
I was at that stage, right? If I sat and you haven’t thought about. Question y’know what I mean? It’s not until that’s
focused on that time, well then that’s number one is, do you have an ass-wiper complete that I’ll stop,” he says. “I come
my life I’m truly fucking up.” in your life? You don’t think you need from North Philadelphia. I come from a
it until you need it.” place of financial illiteracy, of no college,
The comic says he doesn’t have a chip of where you’re not supposed to make
on his shoulder, but is confounded why In the special, Hart then describes his it. I just want the younger generation
people are so comfortable slinging chronic rock bottom: During his ninth day in coming up in the same place to know
vitriol. With 123 million followers on the hospital, he needs to use the toilet, that we aren’t necessarily just where
Instagram, and 36 million followers on but can’t move. He presses a button we are from.”
Twitter, he’s faced the whole litany: e.g., and a male nurse arrives, physically
Your movies suck! (“Well, I’m having a
good time,” says Hart.); Your stand-up
sucks! (“Well, I’ve been doing it for over
20 years. I like it.”); You don’t see your
kids enough! (“Well, I feel like we’ve got
a pretty good thing going—everybody’s
happy here.”); How did your wife take

40 NOV/DEC 2021 MEN’S JOURNAL

RESET THE TONE

At age 42, Hart finds
himself in the best shape
of his life. Credit a wild
work ethic—and longtime
personal trainer Ron
“Boss” Everline: “Kevin’s
schedule is crazy, but
physical fitness is his
anchor,” says Everline. “No
matter what happens, no
matter what’s going on, the
gym is our sanctuary.” The
pair can be found in that
sanctuary six days a week
for about an hour of hard
work per session. Thirty
minutes of warmup include

which Hart frequently
posts on Instagram. “We’re
not bodybuilders, but
we make progress with
heavier weight on the
bar or bigger dumbbells,”
adds Everline. “We love
snatches and isometric

build a foundation. Plus,
we do a lot of unilateral
stuff—working a dumbbell
one arm at a time, which
improves balance.”

42 NOV/DEC 2021 MEN’S JOURNAL

The American Dream never gleamed any brighter
than in the Golden State. But these days, that warm

glow might just be a dumpster fire.

by KY HENDERSON I illustration by THE SPORTING PRESS

MEN’S JOURNAL NOV/DEC 2021 43

Every U.S. state has its HALF THE STATE IS
own romanticized iden- SEEMINGLY ON FIRE AT ANY
tity. New York is the
high-energy center of high GIVEN MOMENT.
culture. Wisconsin is the
land of beer and cheese. all the new arrivals. The Golden State package to fight climate change, and before
Texas is full of things that are bigger than continued to burnish its gleaming allure that California was the first big state to
the things in other places. But no state in as an easy-living utopia where riches and pledge to use 100 percent renewable and
the country has been more romanticized, fame waited behind every swaying palm. clean energy by the middle of the century.
in more ways, than California. Any American currently driving a hybrid
These days, however, shocking or electric car should thank California,
Endless beaches strewn with surfer headlines speak louder than any which instituted fuel standards and
babes. A perfect climate that nurtures celebrity-spiked tourism pitch. For ev- goosed markets to help make cleaner
the nation’s television and movie star- ery towering sequoia, there’s a towering transportation an ever-expanding part
dust factories. As many breathtaking wildfire. For every personal freedom, of everyday life.
national parks as New Jersey has clogged there’s a political embarrassment. And
turnpikes. California was glorified even for every Elon Musk, there’s…well, also
before it became our 31st state, when Elon Musk. Remarkably, the U.S. Census
the gold rush of the mid-1800s saw San Bureau found that California’s population
Francisco grow from a sleepy outpost to grew slower than the rest of the country
one of the biggest cities in the country. over the last decade and, in 2020, actually
Eighty years later, in America’s largest-ever shrunk. So, one has to ask, is this the end
migration, 200,000 dust bowl farmers of the California dream?
abandoned their heartland homes and
headed to California’s verdant farmland. ENVIRONMENT
The Dream: Californians genuinely care
In fact, the state experienced such a about the environment—and more im-
steady flow of optimistic newcomers for portant, they put their money where
so many years that today, one in eight their mouths are. In September, the state
Americans calls California home. government passed a massive $15 billion

Never mind that those seekers often
didn’t find the land of plenty they’d
envisioned (see Karate Kid), and that
indigenous inhabitants were massacred
and wiped out by disease courtesy of

44 NOV/DEC 2021 MEN’S JOURNAL

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The Reality: Remember smog? The QUALITY OF LIFE isn’t improving. In cities like Los Angeles,
ozone-laden, asthma-inducing air pol- The Dream: All the songs aren’t wrong: many highway underpasses shelter an
lution was once a common punch line Southern California is, in fact, sunny encampment of tents and tarps. L.A.’s
when discussing Los Angeles, but now all almost all of the time, and it’s hard to infamous Skid Row, a 2.7-square-mile
of those cleaner vehicles have eliminated find a better place to enjoy a smoothie. part of downtown, officially has about
it. Just kidding—last year, thanks in part Thanks to the Central Valley, which 4,700 residents—and as many as 8,000
to oppressive heat, the city saw its worst grows 40 percent of the nation’s food, additional people sleeping on the side-
smog pollution since the mid-1990s. In Californians enjoy uber-fresh produce walks. Between 2018 and 2019, the last
fact, the American Lung Association’s all year round. year for which official data is available,
latest data found that six of the 10 cities The Reality: Before someone can call L.A.’s homeless population increased
with the worst year-round particulate California home, they need to find an a startling 13 percent. Some advocates
air pollution are in California, as are actual home. Good luck, since the state believe it rose as much as 30 percent
seven of the 10 cities with the worst is in the midst of an endless housing more during the pandemic.
ozone pollution. crisis that has seen the price of a house
soar to more than twice the national Neighborhoods with affordable hous-
“What is almost completely lost is that average. Experts estimate that over the ing often sit in the shadow of industrial
we’re a legacy oil- and gas-producing past decade, the state has built only half
state,” says Danny Cullenward, policy the number of new homes it needs to keep
director at the nonprofit climate research up with demand. Low-income earners
firm CarbonPlan. “Their lobbying capacity spend a crippling average of 60 percent
greatly eclipses the capacity of others, and of their paychecks on rent.
it’s hard to build meaningful coalitions
to change incumbent industries.” While 12 percent of all Americans live
in California, so do 27 percent of the coun-
Another factor contributing to awful try’s homeless people—and their plight
overall air quality: Half the state is seem-
ingly on fire at any given moment. Every
year becomes the new worst year on record
for epic, raging wildfires as the effects
of climate change compound decades
of suppressing small fires (to protect
new development edging further and
further into the wilderness), a practice
that basically allows forests to fill with
billions of matches. As time passes, the
fires get bigger and hotter—and burn
ever higher into the mountains—due
to warming temperatures.

Water tends to be useful when putting
out fires, so it’s a shame California no
longer has any. The entire state is currently
in some phase of drought, much of it
severe. Earlier this year, a hydroelectric
plant at Lake Oroville ceased operation
for the first time in more than 50 years
because there simply wasn’t enough wa-
ter to run it. In the spring, an estimated
90 percent of the Chinook salmon run
died on the way to spawn because the
species’ usual waterways had become far
too shallow and warm. And farmland
in the Central Valley is literally sinking
because the underground aquifers below
it have been sucked dry.

THE PRICE OF A HOUSE HAS
SOARED PAST TWICE THE
NATIONAL AVERAGE.

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yes/no vote that can alter the state’s con-
stitution—sometimes create preposterous
laws because many props are simply some
yahoo’s hairbrained scheme.

“While the initiative process is rooted
in the idea that voters should have the
ultimate power in government, what’s
happened is that anyone with a few
million dollars to pay signature gather-
ers can qualify an initiative,” says Rose
Kapolczynski, an L.A.-based Democratic
strategist and consultant who’s helped
guide several winning initiatives.

Even well-meaning initiatives can
backfire spectacularly. In 1978, Propo-
sition 13 aimed to prevent people from
losing their homes due to skyrocketing
property taxes. But it also gave massive
tax breaks to businesses and wealthy
landowners while simultaneously impov-
erishing local schools and governments.
Most Californians agree this needs to be
fixed, but when a prop came up in 2020
to repeal tax giveaways to corporations,
voters rejected it. Why? They feared their
own property taxes would be raised next.

MANY PROPOSITIONS ARE THE OUTDOORS
SIMPLY SOME YAHOO’S TheDream:California boasts nine national
HAIRBRAINED SCHEME. parks—more than any other state—thanks
to its astounding array of natural won-
plants and refineries that technically Lawmakers were among the first in the ders, from Bono’s beloved Joshua Tree
adhere to California law by offsetting nation to legalize gay marriage and mar- to the unique animals and plants of the
their carbon emissions—by funding ijuana, institute gun control measures, Channel Islands to the iconic beauty of
carbon-reduction projects elsewhere, and take significant steps to protect Yosemite Valley. For millions of people
even out of state. That doesn’t do the the environment. If that sounds like who live along the state’s 3,400 miles
people living near the pollution, who Commie-fornia government overreach, of coastline, it’s entirely possible to surf
may suffer respiratory difficulty and think again: Letting people marry whom- and snowboard on the same day—and
even bizarre rashes, much good. There ever they want, legal pot, environmental then spend all night getting weird out
can be so much lead present in these protections and sensible gun control in the desert.
neighborhoods that it’s dangerous for laws are all supported by far more than The Reality: Natural wonders are generally
children to play in their own yards. 50 percent of U.S. voters. less enjoyable when they’re engulfed in
The Reality: California politics are an flame. As a result, all of the state’s national
The quality-of-life gap between rich open sewer on a hot day. More than parks were closed for a couple weeks
and poor is only getting worse. Income $275 million of taxpayer money was spent this past September due to fires, and the
inequality in California has for decades this year on a pointless recall election, damage is lasting. A single wildfire last
risen faster than the U.S. as a whole, and spearheaded by Trump Republicans, that year killed more than 10 percent of the
the state now has the sixth-largest level Democratic Gov. Gavin Newsom won world’s large sequoia trees, according
of income inequality in the country. One by a ridiculous 30 points. The pricey to the National Park Service. And park
reason? In recent years the cost of living political theater was made possible by visitors were already doing a decent job
has caused many middle-income earners the state’s constitution, which makes of harming the trees, whose shallow roots
to leave the state altogether. initiating a recall election easier than are vulnerable to car and foot traffic. And
getting sunburned in Death Valley. traffic there is. When the parks are open
GOVERNMENT in peak seasons, campgrounds can be so
The Dream: It’s not that California is Meanwhile, the many ballot initia- crowded they resemble disaster zones.
super liberal, it’s that the state embraces tives Californians vote on every election
popular policies quicker than others. cycle—an initiative, or proposition, is a It’s no better in urban settings. Storm
drains on L.A. city streets feature a stencil
that reads “NO DUMPING / DRAINS
TO OCEAN” because runoff in L.A.—and
other coastal cities in the state—pours
straight into the ocean without being
treated. The stencil also features a dolphin

48 NOV/DEC 2021 MEN’S JOURNAL