A Midsummer Night's Dream

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Act 1, Scene 1

Enter THESEUS, HIPPOLYTA, and PHILOSTRATE, THESEUS and HIPPOLYTA enter
with others withPHILOSTRATE and others.

THESEUS THESEUS
Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour Our wedding day is almost here, my beautiful
Draws on apace. Four happy days bring in Hippolyta. We’ll be getting married in four days,
Another moon. But oh, methinks how slow on the day of the new moon. But it seems to me
This old moon wanes! She lingers my desires, that the days are passing too slowly—the old
5 Like to a stepdame or a dowager moon is taking too long to fade away! That old,
Long withering out a young man’s revenue. slow moon is keeping me from getting what I
want, just like an old widow makes her stepson
HIPPOLYTA wait to get his inheritance.
Four days will quickly steep themselves in night.
Four nights will quickly dream away the time. HIPPOLYTA
And then the moon, like to a silver bow No, you’ll see, four days will quickly turn into four
10 New bent in heaven, shall behold the night nights. And since we dream at night, time passes
Of our solemnities. quickly then. Finally the new moon, curved like a
THESEUS silver bow in the sky, will look down on our
wedding celebration.
Go, Philostrate,
Stir up the Athenian youth to merriments. THESEUS
Awake the pert and nimble spirit of mirth. Go, Philostrate, get the young people of Athens
Turn melancholy forth to funerals. ready to celebrate and have a good time.
15 The pale companion is not for our pomp. Sadness is only appropriate for funerals. We
don’t want it at our festivities.
Exit PHILOSTRATE
PHILOSTRATE exits.
Hippolyta, I wooed thee with my sword
And won thy love doing thee injuries. Hippolyta, I wooed you with violence, using my
But I will wed thee in another key, sword, and got you to fall in love with me by
With pomp, with triumph, and with reveling. injuring you. But I’ll marry you under different
circumstances—with extravagant festivals, public
Enter EGEUS and his daughter HERMIA, festivities, and celebration.
andLYSANDER and DEMETRIUS
EGEUS enters with his daughter HERMIA,
EGEUS andLYSANDER and DEMETRIUS.
20 Happy be Theseus, our renownèd duke.
EGEUS
Long live Theseus, our famous and respected
duke!

Act 1, Scene 1, Page 2 THESEUS
Thanks, good Egeus. What’s new with you?
THESEUS
Thanks, good Egeus. What’s the news with thee? EGEUS
I’m here, full of anger, to complain about my
EGEUS daughter Hermia.—Step forward, Demetrius.—
Full of vexation come I with complaint My lord, this man, Demetrius, has my permission
Against my child, my daughter Hermia.— to marry her.—Step forward, Lysander.—But this
Stand forth, Demetrius.—My noble lord, other man, Lysander, has cast a magic spell over
25 This man hath my consent to marry her.— my child’s heart.—You, you, Lysander, you’ve
Stand forth, Lysander.—And my gracious duke, given her poems, and exchanged tokens of love
This man hath bewitched the bosom of my child.— with my daughter. You’ve pretended to be in love
Thou, thou, Lysander, thou hast given her rhymes, with her, singing fake love songs softly at her
And interchanged love tokens with my child. window by moonlight, and you’ve captured her
30 Thou hast by moonlight at her window sung imagination by giving her locks of your hair, rings,
With feigning voice verses of feigning love, toys, trinkets, knickknacks, little presents, flowers,
And stol'n the impression of her fantasy
With bracelets of thy hair, rings, gauds, conceits,

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Knacks, trifles, nosegays, sweetmeats—messengers and candies—things that can really influence an
35 Of strong prevailment in unhardened youth. impressionable young person. You’ve connived to
steal my daughter’s heart, making her stubborn
With cunning hast thou filched my daughter’s heart, and harsh instead of obedient (like she should
Turned her obedience (which is due to me) be).—And, my gracious duke, if she won’t agree
To stubborn harshness.—And, my gracious duke, to marry Demetrius right now, I ask you to let me
Be it so she will not here before your grace exercise the right that all fathers have in Athens.
40 Consent to marry with Demetrius, Since she belongs to me, I can do what I want
I beg the ancient privilege of Athens. with her—as the law says: I can either make her
As she is mine, I may dispose of her— marry Demetrius—or have her killed.
Which shall be either to this gentleman
Or to her death—according to our law THESEUS
45 Immediately provided in that case. What do you have to say for yourself, Hermia?
Think carefully, pretty girl. You should think of
THESEUS your father as a god, since he’s the one who gave
What say you, Hermia? Be advised, fair maid: you your beauty. To him, you’re like a figure that
To you your father should be as a god, he’s sculpted out of wax, and he has the power to
One that composed your beauties, yea, and one keep that figure intact or to disfigure it. Demetrius
To whom you are but as a form in wax, is an admirable man.
50 By him imprinted and within his power
To leave the figure or disfigure it.
Demetrius is a worthy gentleman.

Act 1, Scene 1, Page 3 HERMIA
So is Lysander.
HERMIA
So is Lysander. THESEUS
You’re right, Lysander’s admirable too. But since
THESEUS your father doesn’t want him to marry you, you
In himself he is. have to consider Demetrius to be the better man.

But in this kind, wanting your father’s voice, HERMIA
55 The other must be held the worthier. I wish my father could see them with my eyes.

HERMIA THESEUS
I would my father looked but with my eyes. No, you must see them as your father sees them.

THESEUS HERMIA
Rather your eyes must with his judgment look. Your grace, please forgive me. I don’t know what
makes me think I can say this, and I don’t know if
HERMIA speaking my mind to such a powerful and noble
I do entreat your grace to pardon me. person as yourself will damage my reputation for
I know not by what power I am made bold modesty. But please, tell me the worst thing that
60 Nor how it may concern my modesty could happen to me if I refuse to marry
In such a presence here to plead my thoughts, Demetrius.
But I beseech your grace that I may know
The worst that may befall me in this case, THESEUS
If I refuse to wed Demetrius. You’ll either be executed or you’ll never see
another man again. So think carefully about what
THESEUS you want, beautiful Hermia. Consider how young
65 Either to die the death or to abjure you are, and question your feelings. Then decide
whether you could stand to be a nun, wearing a
Forever the society of men. priestess’s habit and caged up in a cloister
Therefore, fair Hermia, question your desires. forever, living your entire life without a husband or
Know of your youth. Examine well your blood— children, weakly chanting hymns to the cold and
Whether, if you yield not to your father’s choice, virginal goddess of the moon. People who can
70 You can endure the livery of a nun, restrain their passions and stay virgins forever
For aye to be in shady cloister mewed, are holy. But although a virgin priestess might be
To live a barren sister all your life, rewarded in heaven, a married woman is happier
Chanting faint hymns to the cold, fruitless moon.
Thrice-blessèd they that master so their blood
75 To undergo such maiden pilgrimage.
But earthlier happy is the rose distilled

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Than that which, withering on the virgin thorn, on Earth. A married woman is like a rose who is
Grows, lives, and dies in single blessedness. picked and made into a beautiful perfume, while a
priestess just withers away on the stem.

Act 1, Scene 1, Page 4 HERMIA
I’d rather wither away than give up my virginity to
HERMIA someone I don’t love.
So will I grow, so live, so die, my lord,
80 Ere I will my virgin patent up THESEUS
Unto his lordship, whose unwishèd yoke Take some time to think about this. By the time
My soul consents not to give sovereignty. of the next new moon—the day when Hippolyta
and I will be married—be ready either to be
THESEUS executed for disobeying your father, to marry
Take time to pause, and by the next new moon— Demetrius as your father wishes, or to take a
The sealing day betwixt my love and me vow to spend the rest of your life as a virgin
85 For everlasting bond of fellowship— priestess of the moon goddess.
Upon that day either prepare to die
For disobedience to your father’s will, DEMETRIUS
Or else to wed Demetrius, as he would, Please give in, sweet Hermia.—And Lysander,
Or on Diana’s altar to protest stop acting like she’s yours. I’ve got more of a
90 For aye austerity and single life. right to her than you do.
LYSANDER
DEMETRIUS Her father loves you, Demetrius. So why don’t
Relent, sweet Hermia—And, Lysander, yield you marry him and let me have Hermia?
Thy crazèd title to my certain right. EGEUS
It’s true, rude Lysander, I do love him. That’s why
LYSANDER I’m giving him my daughter. She’s mine, and I’m
You have her father’s love, Demetrius. giving her to Demetrius.
Let me have Hermia’s. Do you marry him.
LYSANDER
EGEUS (to THESEUS) My lord, I’m just as noble and rich
95 Scornful Lysander, true, he hath my love, as he is. I love Hermia more than he does. My
prospects are as good as his, if not better. And
And what is mine my love shall render him. beautiful Hermia loves me—which is more
And she is mine, and all my right of her important than all those other things I’m bragging
I do estate unto Demetrius. about. Why shouldn’t I be able to marry her?
Demetrius—and I’ll say this to his face—courted
LYSANDER Nedar’s daughter, Helena, and made her fall in
(to THESEUS) I am, my lord, as well derived as he, love with him. That sweet lady, Helena, loves
100 As well possessed. My love is more than his. devoutly. She adores this horrible and unfaithful
My fortunes every way as fairly ranked, man.
(If not with vantage) as Demetrius'.
And—which is more than all these boasts can be—
I am beloved of beauteous Hermia.
105 Why should not I then prosecute my right?
Demetrius, I’ll avouch it to his head,
Made love to Nedar’s daughter, Helena,
And won her soul. And she, sweet lady, dotes,
Devoutly dotes, dotes in idolatry
110 Upon this spotted and inconstant man.

Act 1, Scene 1, Page 5 THESEUS
I have to admit I’ve heard something about that,
THESEUS and meant to ask Demetrius about it, but I was
I must confess that I have heard so much too busy with personal matters and it slipped my
And with Demetrius thought to have spoke thereof, mind.—Anyway, Demetrius and Egeus, both of
But being overfull of self-affairs, you, come with me. I want to say a few things to
My mind did lose it.—But, Demetrius, come.
115 And come, Egeus. You shall go with me.

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I have some private schooling for you both.— you in private.—As for you, beautiful Hermia, get
For you, fair Hermia, look you arm yourself ready to do what your father wants, because
To fit your fancies to your father’s will, otherwise the law says that you must die or
Or else the law of Athens yields you up become a nun, and there’s nothing I can do
120 (Which by no means we may extenuate) about that.—Come with me, Hippolyta. How are
To death, or to a vow of single life.— you, my love?—Demetrius and Egeus, come with
Come, my Hippolyta. What cheer, my love?— us. I want you to do some things for our wedding,
Demetrius and Egeus, go along. and I also want to discuss something that
I must employ you in some business concerns you both.
125 Against our nuptial and confer with you
Of something nearly that concerns yourselves. EGEUS
We’re following you not only because it is our
EGEUS duty, but also because we want to.
With duty and desire we follow you.
They all exit except LYSANDER and HERMIA.
Exeunt. Manent LYSANDER and HERMIA
LYSANDER
LYSANDER What’s going on, my love? Why are you so pale?
How now, my love? Why is your cheek so pale? Why have your rosy cheeks faded so quickly?
How chance the roses there do fade so fast?
HERMIA
HERMIA Probably because my cheeks' roses needed rain,
130 Belike for want of rain, which I could well which I could easily give them with all the tears in
my eyes.
Beteem them from the tempest of my eyes.
LYSANDER
LYSANDER Oh, honey! Listen, in books they say that true
Ay me! For aught that I could ever read, love always faces obstacles. Either the lovers
Could ever hear by tale or history, have different social standings—
The course of true love never did run smooth.
135 But either it was different in blood—

Act 1, Scene 1, Page 6 HERMIA
Oh, what an obstacle that would be! Imagine
HERMIA being too high on the social ladder, and falling in
O cross! Too high to be enthralled to low. love with someone beneath you.

LYSANDER LYSANDER
Or else misgraffèd in respect of years— Or else they were very different ages—
HERMIA
O spite! Too old to be engaged to young. HERMIA
How awful! Being too old to marry someone
LYSANDER young.
Or else it stood upon the choice of friends—
HERMIA LYSANDER
140 O hell, to choose love by another’s eyes! Or else their guardians and advisors said no—

LYSANDER HERMIA
Or, if there were a sympathy in choice, What hell, to have your love life determined by
War, death, or sickness did lay siege to it, someone else!
Making it momentary as a sound,
Swift as a shadow, short as any dream, LYSANDER
145 Brief as the lightning in the collied night; Or, even if the lovers are a good match, their
That, in a spleen, unfolds both heaven and Earth, love might be ruined by war, death, or sickness,
And ere a man hath power to say “Behold!” so that the affair only lasts an instant. Their time
The jaws of darkness do devour it up. together might be as fleeting as a shadow or as
short as a dream, lasting only as long as it takes
a lightning bolt to flash across the sky. Before
you can say “look,” it’s gone. That’s how intense
things like love are quickly destroyed.

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So quick bright things come to confusion. HERMIA
If true lovers are always thwarted, then it must be
HERMIA a rule of fate. So let’s try to be patient as we deal
150 If then true lovers have been ever crossed, with our problem. It’s as normal a part of love as
dreams, sighs, wishes, and tears.
It stands as an edict in destiny.
Then let us teach our trial patience, LYSANDER
Because it is a customary cross, That’s the right attitude. So, listen, Hermia. I
As due to love as thoughts and dreams and sighs, have an aunt who is a widow, who’s very rich
155 Wishes and tears, poor fancy’s followers. and doesn’t have any children. She lives about
twenty miles from Athens, and she thinks of me
LYSANDER as a son. I could marry you there, gentle Hermia,
A good persuasion. Therefore, hear me, Hermia. where the strict laws of Athens can’t touch us. So
I have a widow aunt, a dowager here’s the plan. If you love me, sneak out of your
Of great revenue, and she hath no child. father’s house tomorrow night and meet me in
From Athens is her house remote seven leagues, the forest a few miles outside of town.
160 And she respects me as her only son.
There, gentle Hermia, may I marry thee.
And to that place the sharp Athenian law
Cannot pursue us. If thou lovest me then,
Steal forth thy father’s house tomorrow night.
165 And in the wood, a league without the town—

Act 1, Scene 1, Page 7

Where I did meet thee once with Helena You remember the place—I met you there once
To do observance to a morn of May— with Helena to celebrate May Day.—I’ll wait for
There will I stay for thee. you there.

HERMIA HERMIA
My good Lysander! Oh, Lysander, I swear I’ll be there tomorrow. I
swear by Cupid’s strongest bow and his best
I swear to thee by Cupid’s strongest bow, gold-tipped arrow, by the Goddess of Love’s
170 By his best arrow with the golden head, innocent doves, by everything that ties lovers
together, by the bonfire where Queen Dido
By the simplicity of Venus' doves, burned herself to death when her lover Aeneas
By that which knitteth souls and prospers loves, jilted her, and by all the promises that men have
And by that fire which burned the Carthage queen broken (and men have broken more promises
When the false Troyan under sail was seen, than women have ever made). I give you my
175 By all the vows that ever men have broke word, I will meet you at that spot tomorrow.
(In number more than ever women spoke),
In that same place thou hast appointed me, LYSANDER
Tomorrow truly will I meet with thee. Keep your promise, my love. Look, here comes
Helena.
LYSANDER
Keep promise, love. Look, here comes Helena. HELENA enters.

Enter HELENA HERMIA
Hello, beautiful Helena! Where are you going?
HERMIA
180 Godspeed, fair Helena! Whither away? HELENA
Did you just call me “beautiful”? Take it back.
HELENA You’re the beautiful one as far as Demetrius is
Call you me “fair”? That “fair” again unsay. concerned. Oh, you’re so lucky! Your eyes are
Demetrius loves your fair. O happy fair! like stars, and your voice is more musical than a
Your eyes are lodestars, and your tongue’s sweet air lark’s song is to a shepherd in the springtime.
More tunable than lark to shepherd’s ear Sickness is contagious—I wish beauty were
185 When wheat is green, when hawthorn buds appear. contagious too! I would catch your good looks
Sickness is catching. Oh, were favor so, before I left. My ear would be infected by your
Yours would I catch, fair Hermia, ere I go. voice, my eye by your eye, and my tongue would
My ear should catch your voice. My eye, your eye. come down with a bad case of your melodious
My tongue should catch your tongue’s sweet
190 melody.

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Were the world mine, Demetrius being bated, speech. If the world were mine, I’d give it all up—
The rest I’d give to be to you translated. everything except Demetrius—to be you.

Act 1, Scene 1, Page 8 Oh, teach me how you look the way you do, and
which tricks you used to make Demetrius fall in
O, teach me how you look and with what art love with you.
You sway the motion of Demetrius' heart.
HERMIA
HERMIA I frown at him, but he still loves me.
I frown upon him, yet he loves me still.
HELENA HELENA
195 Oh, that your frowns would teach my smiles such Oh, if only my smiles could inspire love as
skill! effectively as your frowns!
HERMIA
I give him curses, yet he gives me love. HERMIA
HELENA I curse him, but he loves me.
Oh, that my prayers could such affection move!
HELENA
HERMIA If only my prayers could inspire that kind of
The more I hate, the more he follows me. affection!

HELENA HERMIA
The more I love, the more he hateth me. The more I hate him, the more he follows me
HERMIA around.
200 His folly, Helena, is no fault of mine.
HELENA HELENA
None, but your beauty. Would that fault were mine! The more I love him, the more he hates me.

HERMIA HERMIA
Take comfort. He no more shall see my face. It’s not my fault he acts like that, Helena.
Lysander and myself will fly this place.
Before the time I did Lysander see HELENA
205 Seemed Athens as a paradise to me. That’s true, it’s your beauty’s fault. I wish I had a
Oh, then, what graces in my love do dwell, fault like that!
That he hath turned a heaven unto a hell!
LYSANDER HERMIA
Helen, to you our minds we will unfold. Don’t worry. He won’t see my face ever again.
Tomorrow night when Phoebe doth behold Lysander and I are running away from here.
210 Her silver visage in the watery glass, Before I saw Lysander, Athens seemed like
Decking with liquid pearl the bladed grass paradise to me. But Lysander’s so attractive that
(A time that lovers' flights doth still conceal), he’s turned heaven into hell!
Through Athens' gates have we devised to steal.
HERMIA LYSANDER
(to HELENA) And in the wood where often you and I Helena, we’ll tell you about our secret plan.
215 Upon faint primrose beds were wont to lie, Tomorrow night, when the moon shines on the
Emptying our bosoms of their counsel sweet, water and decorates the grass with tiny beads of
pearly light (the time of night that always hides
runaway lovers), we plan to sneak out of Athens.

HERMIA
(to HELENA) In the woods where you and I used
to lounge around on the pale primroses, telling
each other sweet secrets—that’s where
Lysander and I will meet.

Act 1, Scene 1, Page 9 From then on we’ll turn our backs on Athens.
We’ll look for new friends and keep the company
There my Lysander and myself shall meet.
And thence from Athens turn away our eyes

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To seek new friends and stranger companies. of strangers. Goodbye, old friend. Pray for us,
220 Farewell, sweet playfellow. Pray thou for us. and I hope you win over Demetrius!—Keep your
promise, Lysander. We need to stay away from
And good luck grant thee thy Demetrius!— each other until midnight tomorrow.
Keep word, Lysander. We must starve our sight
From lovers' food till morrow deep midnight. LYSANDER
I will, my Hermia.
LYSANDER
I will, my Hermia. HERMIA exits.

Exit HERMIA Goodbye, Helena. I hope Demetrius comes to
love you as much as you love him!
Helena, adieu.
225 As you on him, Demetrius dote on you! LYSANDER exits.

Exit LYSANDER HELENA
It’s amazing how much happier some people are
HELENA than others! People throughout Athens think I’m
How happy some o'er other some can be! as beautiful as Hermia. But so what? Demetrius
Through Athens I am thought as fair as she. doesn’t think so, and that’s all that matters. He
But what of that? Demetrius thinks not so. refuses to admit what everyone else knows. But
He will not know what all but he do know. even though he’s making a mistake by obsessing
230 And as he errs, doting on Hermia’s eyes, over Hermia so much, I’m also making a mistake,
So I, admiring of his qualities. since I obsess over him. Love can make
Things base and vile, holding no quantity, worthless things beautiful. When we’re in love,
Love can transpose to form and dignity. we don’t see with our eyes but with our minds.
Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind. That’s why paintings of Cupid, the god of love,
235 And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind. always show him as blind. And love doesn’t have
Nor hath Love’s mind of any judgment taste— good judgment either—Cupid, has wings and no
Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste. eyes, so he’s bound to be reckless and hasty.
And therefore is Love said to be a child, That’s why they say love is a child. because it
Because in choice he is so oft beguiled. makes such bad choices. Just as boys like to
240 As waggish boys in game themselves forswear, play games by telling lies, Cupid breaks his
So the boy Love is perjured everywhere. promises all the time. Before Demetrius ever saw
For ere Demetrius looked on Hermia’s eyne, Hermia, he showered me with promises and
He hailed down oaths that he was only mine. swore he’d be mine forever.

Act 1, Scene 1, Page 10

And when this hail some heat from Hermia felt, But when he got all hot and bothered over
245 So he dissolved, and showers of oaths did melt. Hermia, his promises melted away. I’ll go tell
Demetrius that Hermia is running away tomorrow
I will go tell him of fair Hermia’s flight. night. He’ll run after her. If he’s grateful to me for
Then to the wood will he tomorrow night this information, it’ll be worth my pain in helping
Pursue her. And for this intelligence him pursue my rival Hermia. At least I’ll get to
If I have thanks, it is a dear expense. see him when he goes, and then again when he
250 But herein mean I to enrich my pain, comes back.
To have his sight thither and back again.
HERMIA exits.
Exit

Act 1, Scene 2

Enter QUINCE the carpenter, and SNUG the joiner, QUINCE, the carpenter, enters with SNUG, the
and BOTTOM the weaver, and FLUTE the bellows- cabinetmaker; BOTTOM, the weaver; FLUTE, the

mender, and SNOUT the tinker, bellows-repairman; SNOUT, the handyman;
and STARVELINGthe tailor andSTARVELING, the tailor.

QUINCE QUINCE
Is all our company here? Is everyone here?

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BOTTOM BOTTOM
You were best to call them generally, man by man, You should call their names generally, one person
according to the scrip. at a time, in the order in which their names appear
on this piece of paper.
QUINCE
Here is the scroll of every man’s name which is QUINCE
thought fit, through all Athens, to play in our interlude This is a list of the names of all the men in Athens
before the duke and the duchess, on his wedding day who are good enough to act in the play we’re
at night. going to perform for the duke and duchess on
BOTTOM their wedding night.
First, good Peter Quince, say what the play treats on,
then read the names of the actors, and so grow to a BOTTOM
point. First, Peter Quince, tell us what the play is about,
QUINCE then read the names of the actors, and then shut
5 Marry, our play is The most lamentable comedy and up.
most cruel death of Pyramus and Thisbe.
QUINCE
BOTTOM All right. Our play is called A Very Tragic Comedy
A very good piece of work, I assure you, and a About the Horrible Deaths of Pyramus and
merry.—Now, good Peter Quince, call forth your Thisbe.
actors by the scroll.—Masters, spread yourselves.
QUINCE BOTTOM
Answer as I call you.—Nick Bottom, the weaver? Let me tell you, it’s a great piece of work, and
very—funny.—Now, Peter Quince, call the names
BOTTOM of the actors on the list. Men, gather around him.
Ready. Name what part I am for and proceed.
QUINCE
QUINCE Answer when I call your name.—Nick Bottom, the
You, Nick Bottom, are set down for Pyramus. weaver?

BOTTOM
Here. Tell me which part I’m going to play, then
go on.

QUINCE
You, Nick Bottom, have been cast as Pyramus.

Act 1, Scene 2, Page 2 BOTTOM
What’s Pyramus? A lover or a tyrant?
BOTTOM
10 What is Pyramus? A lover or a tyrant? QUINCE
A lover who kills himself very nobly for love.
QUINCE
A lover that kills himself, most gallant, for love. BOTTOM
I’ll have to cry to make my performance
BOTTOM believable. And as soon as I start crying, oh boy,
That will ask some tears in the true performing of it. If the audience had better watch out, because
I do it, let the audience look to their eyes. I will move they’ll start crying too. I’ll make tears pour out of
storms. I will condole in some measure.—To the their eyes like rainstorms. I’ll moan very
rest.—Yet my chief humor is for a tyrant. I could play believably.—Name the other actors.—But I’m
Ercles rarely, or a part to tear a cat in to make all really in the mood to play a tyrant. I could do a
split. great job with Hercules, or any other part that
requires ranting and raving. I would rant and rave
The raging rocks really well. Like this, listen.
And shivering shocks
Shall break the locks The raging rocks
Of prison gates. nd shivering shocks
And Phoebus' car Will break the locks
Shall shine from far Of prison gates.
And make and mar And the sun-god’s car
The foolish Fates. Will shine from far
This was lofty!—Now name the rest of the players.—
This is Ercles' vein, a tyrant’s vein. A lover is more

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condoling. Away, and make and mar
Foolish fate.
QUINCE Oh, that was truly inspired!—Now tell us who the
Francis Flute, the bellows-mender? other actors are.—By the way, my performance
FLUTE just now was in the style of Hercules, the tyrant
15 Here, Peter Quince. style. A lover would have to be weepier, of
QUINCE course.
Flute, you must take Thisbe on you.
QUINCE
Francis Flute, the bellows-repairman?

FLUTE
Here, Peter Quince.

QUINCE
Flute, you’ll be playing the role of Thisbe.

Act 1, Scene 2, Page 3 FLUTE
Who’s Thisbe? A knight on a quest?
FLUTE
What is Thisbe? A wandering knight? QUINCE
Thisbe is the lady Pyramus is in love with.
QUINCE
It is the lady that Pyramus must love. FLUTE
No, come on, don’t make me play a woman. I’m
FLUTE growing a beard.
Nay, faith, let me not play a woman. I have a beard
coming. QUINCE
That doesn’t matter. You’ll wear a mask, and you
QUINCE can make your voice as high as you want to.
20 That’s all one. You shall play it in a mask, and you
BOTTOM
may speak as small as you will. In that case, if I can wear a mask, let me play
Thisbe too! I’ll be Pyramus first: “Thisne,
BOTTOM Thisne!”—And then in falsetto: “Ah, Pyramus, my
An I may hide my face, let me play Thisbe too! I’ll dear lover! I’m your dear Thisbe, your dear lady!”
speak in a monstrous little voice: “Thisne, Thisne!”—
“Ah, Pyramus, my lover dear, thy Thisbe dear and QUINCE
lady dear!” No, no. Bottom, you’re Pyramus.—And Flute,
you’re Thisbe.
QUINCE
No, no. You must play Pyramus.—And Flute, you BOTTOM
Thisbe. All right. Go on.

BOTTOM QUINCE
Well, proceed. Robin Starveling, the tailor?

QUINCE STARVELING
Robin Starveling, the tailor? Here, Peter Quince.

STARVELING QUINCE
25 Here, Peter Quince. Robin Starveling, you’re going to play Thisbe’s
mother.—Tom Snout, the handyman.
QUINCE
Robin Starveling, you must play Thisbe’s mother.— SNOUT
Tom Snout, the tinker? Here, Peter Quince.

SNOUT QUINCE
Here, Peter Quince. You’ll be Pyramus’s father—I’ll play Thisbe’s
father myself—Snug, the cabinetmaker, you’ll
QUINCE play the part of the lion.—So that’s everyone. I
You, Pyramus' father.—Myself, Thisbe’s father.— hope this play is well cast now.
Snug the joiner, you, the lion’s part.—And I hope
here is a play fitted.

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Act 1, Scene 2, Page 4

SNUG SNUG
Have you the lion’s part written? Pray you, if it be, Do you have the lion’s part written down? If you
give it me, for I am slow of study. do, please give it to me, because I need to start
learning the lines. It takes me a long time to learn
QUINCE things.
30 You may do it extempore, for it is nothing but roaring.
QUINCE
BOTTOM You can improvise the whole thing. It’s just
Let me play the lion too. I will roar, that I will do any roaring.
man’s heart good to hear me. I will roar, that I will
make the duke say, “Let him roar again. Let him roar BOTTOM
again.” Let me play the lion too. I’ll roar so well that it’ll be
QUINCE an inspiration to anyone who hears me. I’ll roar so
An you should do it too terribly, you would fright the well that the duke will say, “Let him roar again.
duchess and the ladies, that they would shriek. And Let him roar again.”
that were enough to hang us all.
ALL QUINCE
That would hang us, every mother’s son. If you roar too ferociously, you’ll scare the
duchess and the other ladies and make them
BOTTOM scream. And that would get us all executed.
I grant you, friends, if you should fright the ladies out
of their wits, they would have no more discretion but ALL
to hang us. But I will aggravate my voice so that I will Yeah, that would get every single one of us
roar you as gently as any sucking dove. I will roar you executed.
an ’twere any nightingale.
BOTTOM
QUINCE Well, my friends, you’ve got to admit that if you
35 You can play no part but Pyramus. For Pyramus is a scare the living daylights out of the ladies, they’d
have no choice but to execute us. But I’ll soften
sweet-faced man, a proper man as one shall see in a my voice—you know, aggravate it, so to speak—
summer’s day, a most lovely, gentlemanlike man. so that I’ll roar as gently as a baby dove. I’ll roar
Therefore you must needs play Pyramus. like a sweet, peaceful nightingale.

BOTTOM QUINCE
Well, I will undertake it. What beard were I best to You can’t play any part except Pyramus. Because
play it in? Pyramus is a good-looking man, the most
QUINCE handsome man that you could find on a
Why, what you will. summer’s day, a lovely gentlemanly man. So
you’re the only one who could play Pyramus.

BOTTOM
Well then, I’ll do it. What kind of beard should I
wear for the part?

QUINCE
Whatever kind you want, I guess.

Act 1, Scene 2, Page 5 BOTTOM
I’ll play the part wearing either a straw-colored
BOTTOM beard, or a sandy beard, or a red beard, or one of
I will discharge it in either your straw-color beard, those bright yellow beards that’s the color of a
your orange-tawny beard, your purple-in-grain beard, French coin.
or your French crown-color beard, your perfect
yellow. QUINCE
Some French people don’t have beards at all,
QUINCE because syphilis has made all their hair fall out,
Some of your French crowns have no hair at all, and so you might have to play the part clean-
then you will play barefaced.—But masters, here are shaven.—But gentlemen, here are your scripts,
your parts. And I am to entreat you, request you, and
desire you to con them by tomorrow night and meet

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me in the palace wood, a mile without the town, by and I beg you to please learn them by tomorrow
moonlight. There will we rehearse, for if we meet in night. Meet me in the duke’s forest a mile outside
the city we shall be dogged with company, and our of town. It’s best to rehearse there, because if we
devices known. In the meantime I will draw a bill of do it here in the city, we’ll be bothered by crowds
properties such as our play wants. I pray you, fail me of people and everyone will know the plot of our
not. play. Meanwhile, I’ll make a list of props that we’ll
need for the play. Now make sure you show up,
BOTTOM all of you. Don’t leave me in the lurch.
40 We will meet, and there we may rehearse most
BOTTOM
obscenely and courageously. Take pains. Be perfect. We’ll be there, and there we’ll rehearse
Adieu. courageously and wonderfully, truly obscenely.
Work hard, know your lines. Goodbye.
QUINCE
At the duke’s oak we meet. QUINCE
We’ll meet at the giant oak tree in the duke’s
BOTTOM forest.
Enough. Hold, or cut bowstrings.
BOTTOM
Exeunt Got it? Be there, or don’t show your face again.

They all exit.

Act 2, Scene 1

Enter a FAIRY at one side and ROBIN (ROBIN A FAIRY and ROBIN GOODFELLOW (a “puck”
GOODFELLOW) at another or mischievous spirit) meet onstage.

ROBIN ROBIN
How now, spirit? Whither wander you? Hello, spirit! Where are you going?

FAIRY FAIRY
Over hill, over dale, I go over hills and valleys, through bushes and
Thorough bush, thorough brier, thorns, over parks and fenced-in spaces, through
Over park, over pale, water and fire. I wander everywhere faster than
Thorough flood, thorough fire. the moon revolves around the Earth. I work for
I do wander everywhere Titania, the Fairy Queen, and organize fairy
Swifter than the moon’s sphere. dances for her in the grass. The cowslip flowers
And I serve the fairy queen are her bodyguards. You’ll see that their petals
To dew her orbs upon the green. have spots on them—those are rubies, fairy gifts.
The cowslips tall her pensioners be. Their sweet smells come from those little freckles.
In their gold coats spots you see. Now I have to go find some dewdrops and hang a
Those be rubies, fairy favors. pearl earring on every cowslip flower. Goodbye,
In those freckles live their savors. you dumb old spirit. I’ve got to go. The queen and
I must go seek some dewdrops here her elves will be here soon.
And hang a pearl in every cowslip’s ear.
ROBIN
Farewell, thou lob of spirits. I’ll be gone. The king’s having a party here tonight. Just make
Our queen and all our elves come here anon. sure the queen doesn’t come anywhere near him,
because King Oberon is extremely angry. He’s
ROBIN furious because she stole an adorable boy from
The king doth keep his revels here tonight. an Indian king. She’s never kidnapped such a
5 Take heed the queen come not within his sight. darling human child before, and Oberon’s jealous.
For Oberon is passing fell and wrath He wants the child for himself, to accompany him
Because that she, as her attendant hath on his wanderings through the wild forests. But
A lovely boy stolen from an Indian king. the queen refuses to hand the boy over to
She never had so sweet a changeling. Oberon. Instead, she puts flowers in the boy’s
10 And jealous Oberon would have the child hair and makes a fuss over him.
Knight of his train, to trace the forests wild.
But she perforce withholds the lovèd boy,
Crowns him with flowers, and makes him all her joy.

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Act 2, Scene 1, Page 2 And now Oberon and Titania refuse to speak to
each other, or meet each other anywhere—
And now they never meet in grove or green, neither in the forest nor on the plain, nor by the
15 By fountain clear or spangled starlight sheen. river nor under the stars. They always argue, and
the little fairies get so frightened that they hide in
But they do square, that all their elves for fear acorn cups and won’t come out.
Creep into acorn cups and hide them there.
FAIRY
FAIRY Unless I’m mistaken, you’re that mischievous and
Either I mistake your shape and making quite, naughty spirit named Robin Goodfellow. Aren’t
Or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite you the one who goes around scaring the
20 Called Robin Goodfellow. Are not you he maidens in the village, stealing the cream from
That frights the maidens of the villagery, the top of the milk, screwing up the flour mills,
Skim milk, and sometimes labor in the quern and frustrating housewives by keeping their milk
And bootless make the breathless housewife churn, from turning into butter? Aren’t you the one who
And sometime make the drink to bear no barm, keeps beer from foaming up as it should, and
25 Mislead night-wanderers, laughing at their harm? causes people to get lost at night, while you laugh
Those that “Hobgoblin” call you, and “sweet Puck,” at them? Some people call you “Hobgoblin” and
You do their work, and they shall have good luck. “sweet Puck,” and you’re nice to them. You do
Are not you he? their work for them and give them good luck.
That’s you, right?
ROBIN
Thou speak’st aright. ROBIN
What you say is true. That’s me you’re talking
I am that merry wanderer of the night. about, the playful wanderer of the night. I tell
30 I jest to Oberon and make him smile jokes to Oberon and make him smile. I’ll trick a
fat, well-fed horse into thinking that I’m a young
When I a fat and bean-fed horse beguile, female horse. Sometimes I hide at the bottom of
Neighing in likeness of a filly foal. an old woman’s drink disguised as an apple.
And sometime lurk I in a gossip’s bowl When she takes a sip, I bob up against her lips
In very likeness of a roasted crab, and make her spill the drink all over her withered
35 And when she drinks, against her lips I bob old neck. Sometimes a wise old woman with a
And on her withered dewlap pour the ale. sad story to tell tries to sit down on me, thinking
The wisest aunt telling the saddest tale I’m a three-legged stool. But I slip from
Sometime for three-foot stool mistaketh me. underneath her and she falls down, crying, “Ow,
Then slip I from her bum, down topples she, my butt!” and starts coughing, and then everyone
40 And “Tailor!” cries, and falls into a cough, laughs and has fun. But step aside, fairy! Here
And then the whole quire hold their hips and laugh, comes Oberon.
And waxen in their mirth, and neeze, and swear
A merrier hour was never wasted there. FAIRY
But, room, fairy! Here comes Oberon. And here’s my mistress, Titania. I wish he’d go
away!
FAIRY
45 And here my mistress. Would that he were gone!

Act 2, Scene 1, Page 3

Enter OBERON, the King of Fairies, at one side with OBERON, the Fairy King, and his followers enter.
his train, and TITANIA, the Queen, at the other, with On the opposite side of the stage, TITANIA, the
Fairy Queen, and her followers enter.
hers
OBERON
OBERON How not nice to see you, Titania.
Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania.
TITANIA
TITANIA What, are you jealous, Oberon?—Fairies, let’s
What, jealous Oberon?—Fairies, skip hence. get out of here. I’ve sworn I’ll never sleep with
I have forsworn his bed and company.

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OBERON him or talk to him again.
Tarry, rash wanton. Am not I thy lord?
OBERON
TITANIA Wait just a minute, you brazen hussy. Aren’t you
50 Then I must be thy lady. But I know supposed to obey me, your lord and husband?

When thou hast stolen away from Fairyland, TITANIA
And in the shape of Corin sat all day, If you’re my lord and husband, I must be your
Playing on pipes of corn and versing love lady and wife, so you’re supposed to be faithful to
To amorous Phillida. Why art thou here, me. But I know for a fact that you snuck away
55 Come from the farthest step of India? from Fairyland disguised as a shepherd, and
But that, forsooth, the bouncing Amazon, spent all day playing straw pipes and singing love
Your buskined mistress and your warrior love, poems to your new girlfriend. The only reason
To Theseus must be wedded, and you come you left India was to come here and see that
To give their bed joy and prosperity. butch Amazon Hippolyta. She was your boot-
wearing mistress and your warrior lover, and now
OBERON that she’s getting married to Theseus, you’ve
60 How canst thou thus for shame, Titania, come to celebrate their marriage.

Knowing I know thy love to Theseus? Glance at my OBERON
credit with Hippolyta, How can you stand there shamelessly talking
Didst thou not lead him through the glimmering night about me and Hippolyta, when you know that I
From Perigouna, whom he ravishèd? know about your love for Theseus? Weren’t you
65 And make him with fair Ægles break his faith, the one who made him desert Perigouna in the
With Ariadne and Antiopa? middle of the night, right after he’d raped her?
And weren’t you the one who made him cheat on
all of his other girlfriends, like Aegles, Ariadne,
and Antiopa?

Act 2, Scene 1, Page 4 TITANIA
These are nothing but jealous lies. Since the
TITANIA beginning of midsummer, my fairies and I haven’t
These are the forgeries of jealousy. been able to meet anywhere to do our dances in
And never, since the middle summer’s spring, the wind without being disturbed by you and your
Met we on hill, in dale, forest, or mead, arguments. We haven’t been able to meet on a
By pavèd fountain, or by rushy brook, hill or in a valley, in the forest or a meadow, by a
70 Or in the beachèd margent of the sea, pebbly fountain or a rushing stream, or on the
To dance our ringlets to the whistling wind, beach by the ocean without you disturbing us.
But with thy brawls thou hast disturbed our sport. And because you interrupt us so that we can’t
Therefore the winds, piping to us in vain, dance for them, the winds have made fogs rise
As in revenge, have sucked up from the sea up out of the sea and fall down on the rivers so
75 Contagious fogs, which falling in the land that the rivers flood, just to get revenge on you.
Have every pelting river made so proud So all the work that oxen and farmers have done
That they have overborne their continents. in plowing the fields has been for nothing,
The ox hath therefore stretched his yoke in vain, because the unripe grain has rotted before it was
The ploughman lost his sweat, and the green corn ripe. Sheep pens are empty in the middle of the
80 Hath rotted ere his youth attained a beard. flooded fields, and the crows get fat from eating
The fold stands empty in the drownèd field, the dead bodies of infected sheep. All the fields
And crows are fatted with the murrain flock. where people usually play games are filled with
The nine-men’s-morris is filled up with mud, mud, and you can’t even see the elaborate
And the quaint mazes in the wanton green mazes that people create in the grass, because
85 For lack of tread are undistinguishable. no one walks in them anymore and they’ve all
The human mortals want their winter here. grown over. It’s not winter here for the human
No night is now with hymn or carol blessed. mortals, so they’re not protected by the holy
Therefore the moon, the governess of floods, hymns and carols that they sing in winter. So the
Pale in her anger, washes all the air, pale, angry moon, who controls the tides, fills the
90 That rheumatic diseases do abound.
And thorough this distemperature we see

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The seasons alter: hoary-headed frosts air with diseases. As a consequence of this bad
Fall in the fresh lap of the crimson rose, weather and these bad moods the seasons have
And on old Hiems' thin and icy crown started to change. Cold frosts spread over the
95 An odorous chaplet of sweet summer buds red roses, and the icy winter wears a crown of
Is, as in mockery, set. The spring, the summer, sweet summer flowers as some sick joke.
The childing autumn, angry winter change Spring, summer, fertile autumn and angry winter
Their wonted liveries, and the mazèd world, have all changed places, and now the confused
By their increase, now knows not which is which. world doesn’t know which is which. And this is all
100 And this same progeny of evils comes because of our argument. We are responsible for
From our debate, from our dissension. this.
We are their parents and original.

Act 2, Scene 1, Page 5

OBERON OBERON
Do you amend it then. It lies in you. Do something about it, then. You have the power
Why should Titania cross her Oberon? to fix it. Why would Titania want to argue with her
105 I do but beg a little changeling boy, Oberon? All I’m asking for is to have that little
To be my henchman. human boy as part of my crew.

TITANIA TITANIA
Set your heart at rest. Get over it. I won’t give up this child for all of
Fairyland. His mother was one of my
The Fairyland buys not the child of me. worshippers, and we always used to gossip
His mother was a votaress of my order, together at night in India, sitting together by the
And in the spicèd Indian air by night ocean and watching the merchant ships sailing
110 Full often hath she gossiped by my side, on the ocean. We used to laugh to see the sails
And sat with me on Neptune’s yellow sands, fill up with wind so that they looked like they had
Marking th' embarkèd traders on the flood, big, pregnant bellies, as if the wind had gotten
When we have laughed to see the sails conceive them pregnant. She would imitate them—since
And grow big-bellied with the wanton wind; she was already pregnant with the little boy—and
115 Which she, with pretty and with swimming gait she would go sailing over the land herself to go
Following—her womb then rich with my young get me little presents, and come back carrying
squire— gifts like she was a ship coming back from a
Would imitate, and sail upon the land voyage. But since she was a mortal, she died
To fetch me trifles and return again giving birth to that boy, and for her sake I’m
120 As from a voyage, rich with merchandise. raising him and will not give him up.
But she, being mortal, of that boy did die.
And for her sake do I rear up her boy, OBERON
And for her sake I will not part with him. How long do you plan to stay here in this forest?

OBERON TITANIA
How long within this wood intend you stay? Maybe until after Theseus’s wedding day. If you
behave yourself and join us in our circle dance
TITANIA and moonlight celebrations, then you can come
Perchance till after Theseus' wedding day. with us. If not, leave me alone, and I’ll stay away
125 If you will patiently dance in our round from your turf.
And see our moonlight revels, go with us.
If not, shun me, and I will spare your haunts. OBERON
Give me that boy and I’ll come with you.
OBERON
Give me that boy and I will go with thee. TITANIA
Not for your entire fairy kingdom.—Come, fairies,
TITANIA let’s go. We’re going to have an out-and-out
Not for thy fairy kingdom.—Fairies, away! brawl if I stay any longer.
130 We shall chide downright, if I longer stay.
TITANIA and her FAIRIES exit.
Exeunt TITANIA and her train

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Act 2, Scene 1, Page 6 OBERON
Well, go on your way, then. You won’t leave this
OBERON grove until I’ve paid you back for this
Well, go thy way. Thou shalt not from this grove insult. (toROBIN GOODFELLOW) My dear Puck,
Till I torment thee for this injury.—(to ROBIN come here. You remember the time when I was
GOODFELLOW) sitting on a cliff, and I heard a mermaid sitting on
My gentle Puck, come hither. Thou rememberest a dolphin’s back sing such a sweet and
135 Since once I sat upon a promontory harmonious song that it calmed the stormy sea
And heard a mermaid on a dolphin’s back and made stars shoot out of the sky so they
Uttering such dulcet and harmonious breath could hear her better?
That the rude sea grew civil at her song
And certain stars shot madly from their spheres ROBIN
To hear the seamaid’s music? Yes, I remember.

ROBIN OBERON
I remember. That same night, I saw Cupid flying from the
moon to the earth, with all of his arrows ready.
OBERON (You couldn’t see him, but I could.) He took aim
140 That very time I saw (but thou couldst not) at a beautiful young virgin who was sitting on a
throne in the western part of the world, and he
Flying between the cold moon and the Earth, shot his arrow of love well enough to have
Cupid all armed. A certain aim he took pierced a hundred thousand hearts. But I could
At a fair vestal thronèd by the west, see that Cupid’s fiery arrow was put out by
And loosed his love shaft smartly from his bow watery, virginal moonbeams, so the royal virgin
145 As it should pierce a hundred thousand hearts. continued her virginal thoughts without being
But I might see young Cupid’s fiery shaft interrupted by thoughts of love. But I paid
Quenched in the chaste beams of the watery moon, attention to where Cupid’s arrow fell. It fell on a
And the imperial votaress passèd on, little western flower, which used to be white as
In maiden meditation, fancy-free. milk but now has turned purple from being
150 Yet marked I where the bolt of Cupid fell. wounded by the arrow of love. Young girls call it
It fell upon a little western flower, “love-in-idleness.” Bring me that flower. I showed
Before milk-white, now purple with love’s wound. it to you once. If its juice is put on someone’s
And maidens call it “love-in-idleness.” eyelids while they’re asleep, that person will fall
Fetch me that flower. The herb I showed thee once. in love with the next living creature he or she
155 The juice of it on sleeping eyelids laid sees. Bring me this plant, and get back here
Will make or man or woman madly dote before the sea monster has time to swim three
Upon the next live creature that it sees. miles.
Fetch me this herb, and be thou here again
Ere the leviathan can swim a league. ROBIN
I could go around the world in forty minutes.
ROBIN
160 I’ll put a girdle round about the Earth

In forty minutes.

Act 2, Scene 1, Page 7

Exit ROBIN ROBIN exits.

OBERON OBERON
Having once this juice, When I have the juice of that flower, I’ll trickle
some drops of it on Titania’s eyes while she’s
I’ll watch Titania when she is asleep sleeping. She’ll fall madly in love with the first
And drop the liquor of it in her eyes. thing she sees when she wakes up—even if it’s
The next thing then she waking looks upon— a lion, a bear, a wolf, a bull, a monkey, or an
165 Be it on lion, bear, or wolf, or bull, ape. And before I make her normal again—I can
On meddling monkey or on busy ape— cure her by treating her with another plant—I’ll
She shall pursue it with the soul of love. make her give me that little boy as my page. But
And ere I take this charm from of her sight— who’s that coming this way? I’ll make myself
As I can take it with another herb—

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170 I’ll make her render up her page to me. invisible and listen to their conversation.
But who comes here? I am invisible.
And I will overhear their conference. DEMETRIUS enters, followed by HELENA.
DEMETRIUS
Enter DEMETRIUS, HELENA following him Look, I don’t love you, so stop following me
around. Where are Lysander and beautiful
DEMETRIUS Hermia? Lysander I want to stop, but Hermia
I love thee not, therefore pursue me not. stops my heart from beating. You told me they
Where is Lysander and fair Hermia? escaped into this forest. And here I am, going
175 The one I’ll stay, the other stayeth me. crazy in the middle of the woods because I can’t
Thou told’st me they were stol'n unto this wood. find my Hermia. Go away, get out of here, and
And here am I, and wood within this wood, stop following me.
Because I cannot meet my Hermia. HELENA
Hence, get thee gone, and follow me no more. You attract me to you, you cruel magnet! But you
must not attract iron, because my heart is as true
HELENA as steel. If you let go of your power to attract me,
180 You draw me, you hard-hearted adamant. I won’t have any power to follow you.
DEMETRIUS
But yet you draw not iron, for my heart Do I ask you to follow me? Do I speak to you
Is true as steel. Leave you your power to draw, kindly? Don’t I tell you in the clearest terms that I
And I shall have no power to follow you. do not and cannot love you?

DEMETRIUS
Do I entice you? Do I speak you fair?
185 Or rather, do I not in plainest truth
Tell you I do not, nor I cannot, love you?

Act 2, Scene 1, Page 8 HELENA
Yes, but that makes me love you even more. I’m
HELENA your little dog, Demetrius. The more you beat
And even for that do I love you the more. me, the more I’ll love you. Treat me like you
I am your spaniel. And, Demetrius, would treat a dog—kick me, hit me, neglect me,
The more you beat me, I will fawn on you. try to lose me. Just let me follow behind you,
190 Use me but as your spaniel—spurn me, strike me, even though I’m not good enough for you. Could
Neglect me, lose me. Only give me leave, I ask for a worse place in your heart than to be
Unworthy as I am, to follow you. treated as you would treat a dog? And yet I
What worser place can I beg in your love— would consider it an honor to be your dog.
And yet a place of high respect with me—
195 Than to be usèd as you use your dog? DEMETRIUS
Don’t push it. Just looking at you makes me sick.
DEMETRIUS
Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit. HELENA
For I am sick when I do look on thee. And I get sick when I can’t look at you.

HELENA DEMETRIUS
And I am sick when I look not on you. You’re risking your reputation by leaving the city
and stalking someone who doesn’t love you.
DEMETRIUS Standing around alone in a deserted area in the
You do impeach your modesty too much, middle of the night isn’t the best way to protect
200 To leave the city and commit yourself your virginity.
Into the hands of one that loves you not,
To trust the opportunity of night HELENA
And the ill counsel of a desert place I rely on your virtue to protect me. And because I
With the rich worth of your virginity. can see your shining face, it doesn’t feel like
nighttime to me. This forest doesn’t seem
HELENA deserted when you’re here, because you are all
205 Your virtue is my privilege. For that the world to me. So how can anyone say I’m

It is not night when I do see your face.
Therefore I think I am not in the night.
Nor doth this wood lack worlds of company,
For you in my respect are all the world.

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210 Then how can it be said I am alone alone, when the whole world is here to look at
When all the world is here to look on me? me?

DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS
I’ll run from thee and hide me in the brakes, I’ll run away from you and hide in the bushes,
And leave thee to the mercy of wild beasts. and leave you to the mercy of wild animals.

HELENA HELENA
The wildest hath not such a heart as you. The wildest animal isn’t as cruel as you are. Run
215 Run when you will, the story shall be changed. whenever you want to. The story of Daphne and
Apollo will be changed:

Act 2, Scene 1, Page 9

Apollo flies and Daphne holds the chase. the lustful god Apollo runs away from the virginal
The dove pursues the griffin. The mild hind nymph Daphne who pursues him, the dove
Makes speed to catch the tiger—bootless speed, chases after the griffin, which is usually its
When cowardice pursues and valor flies. predator, and the gentle deer tries to hunt down
the tiger—speed is useless when the cowardly
DEMETRIUS person chases and the brave person runs away.
220 I will not stay thy questions. Let me go.
DEMETRIUS
Or if thou follow me, do not believe I’m not sticking around to listen to you any
But I shall do thee mischief in the wood. longer. Leave me alone. Or if you follow me,
you’d better understand that I’ll do something
HELENA bad to you in the forest.
Ay, in the temple, in the town, the field
You do me mischief. Fie, Demetrius! HELENA
225 Your wrongs do set a scandal on my sex. Yes, you already hurt me in the church, in the
We cannot fight for love as men may do. town, and in the fields. Shame on you,
We should be wooed and were not made to woo. Demetrius! Your behavior is an insult to all
women. We cannot fight for love as men can. We
Exit DEMETRIUS should be pursued and courted. We weren’t
I’ll follow thee and make a heaven of hell, made to do the pursuing.
To die upon the hand I love so well.
DEMETRIUS exits.
Exit HELENA
OBERON I’ll follow you and turn this hell I’m in into a kind
230 Fare thee well, nymph. Ere he do leave this grove, of heaven. It would be heavenly to be killed by
Thou shalt fly him and he shall seek thy love. someone I love so much.

Enter ROBIN HELENA exits.
Hast thou the flower there? Welcome, wanderer.
ROBIN OBERON
Ay, there it is. Goodbye, nymph. Before he leaves this part of
OBERON the forest, you’ll change places: you’ll be the one
running away, and he’ll be in love with you.
I pray thee, give it me.
(takes flower from ROBIN) ROBIN enters.
235 I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,
Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows, Do you have the flower? Welcome, traveler.
Quite overcanopied with luscious woodbine,
With sweet musk roses and with eglantine. ROBIN
Yes, here it is.

OBERON
Please, give it to me. (he takes the flower
fromROBIN) I know a place where wild thyme
blooms, and oxlips and violets grow. It’s covered
over with luscious honeysuckle, sweet
muskroses and sweetbrier.

Act 2, Scene 1, Page 10

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There sleeps Titania sometime of the night, Titania sleeps there sometimes at night, lulled to
240 Lulled in these flowers with dances and delight. sleep among the flowers by dances and other
delights. Snakes shed their skin there, and the
And there the snake throws her enameled skin, shed skin is wide enough to wrap a fairy in. I’ll
Weed wide enough to wrap a fairy in. put the juice of this flower on Titania’s eyes, and
And with the juice of this I’ll streak her eyes fill her with horrible delusions and desires. (he
And make her full of hateful fantasies. gives ROBIN part of the flower) You take some
245 (gives ROBIN some of the flower) of it too, and look around in this part of the forest.
Take thou some of it and seek through this grove: A sweet Athenian lady is in love with a young
A sweet Athenian lady is in love man who wants nothing to do with her. Put some
With a disdainful youth. Anoint his eyes. of this flower’s juice on his eyes, and make sure
But do it when the next thing he espies to do it in such a way that the next thing he sees
250 May be the lady. Thou shalt know the man will be the lady. You’ll be able to tell it’s him
By the Athenian garments he hath on. because he’s wearing Athenian clothes. Do it
Effect it with some care, that he may prove carefully, so that he’ll end up loving her more
More fond on her than she upon her love. than she loves him. And then make sure to meet
And look thou meet me ere the first cock crow. me before the rooster’s first crow at dawn.

ROBIN ROBIN
255 Fear not, my lord. Your servant shall do so. Don’t worry, sir. I’m at your service.

Exeunt severally They all exit, separately.

Act 2, Scene 2

Enter TITANIA, Queen of Fairies, with her train TITANIA, the Fairy Queen, enters with her
ofFAIRIES following of FAIRIES.

TITANIA TITANIA
Come now, a roundel and a fairy song. Come, dance in a circle and sing a fairy song,
Then for the third part of a minute, hence— and then go off for a while to do your work. Some
Some to kill cankers in the musk-rose buds, of you will kill the worms infesting the rosebuds,
Some war with reremice for their leathern wings some of you will fight with bats to get their
5 To make my small elves coats, and some keep back leathery wings, so we can make coats for my
The clamorous owl that nightly hoots and wonders small elves. Some of you will keep that loud owl
At our quaint spirits. Sing me now asleep. away, the one that hoots and wonders every night
Then to your offices and let me rest. at us dainty fairies. Sing me to sleep now, and
then go off to do your duties and let me rest.
FAIRIES sing
The FAIRIES sing.
FIRST FAIRY
(sings) FIRST FAIRY
(singing)
You spotted snakes with double tongue,
Thorny hedgehogs, be not seen. Snakes with forked tongues,
Newts and blindworms, do no wrong. And porcupines, don’t be seen.
Come not near our fairy queen. Deadly lizards, don’t be mean.
Don’t come near our fairy queen.
FAIRIES
10 (sing) FAIRIES
(singing)
Philomel, with melody
Sing in our sweet lullaby. Nightingale, melodiously
Lulla, lulla, lullaby, lulla, lulla, lullaby. Sing our sweet lullaby.
Never harm Lulla, lulla, lullaby, lulla, lulla, lullaby.
Nor spell nor charm Let no harm
Come our lovely lady nigh. Or spell or charm
So good night, with lullaby. Come near our lovely lady.
Say good night with a lullaby.
FIRST FAIRY
(sings) FIRST FAIRY
(singing)

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Weaving spiders, come not here. Spiders with your webs, stay away.
Hence, you long-legged spinners, hence! You long-legged things, begone!

Act 2, Scene 2, Page 2

Beetles black, approach not near. Black beetles, don’t come near.
Worm nor snail, do no offense. Worms and snails, don’t be bad.

FAIRIES FAIRIES
(sing) (singing)

Philomel, with melody Nightingale, melodiously
Sing in our sweet lullaby. Sing our sweet lullaby.
Lulla, lulla, lullaby, lulla, lulla, lullaby. Lulla, lulla, lullaby, lulla, lulla, lullaby.
Never harm Let no harm
Nor spell nor charm Or spell or charm
Come our lovely lady nigh. Come near our lovely lady.
So good night, with lullaby. Say good night with a lullaby.

TITANIA sleeps TITANIA falls asleep.

SECOND FAIRY SECOND FAIRY
Hence, away! Now all is well. Okay, let’s go! Everything’s fine now. One of us
One aloof stand sentinel. will stay and stand guard.

Exeunt FAIRIES The FAIRIES exit.

Enter OBERON OBERON enters.

OBERON OBERON
15 (squeezing flower juice on TITANIA ’s eyelids) (he squeezes flower juice on TITANIA ’s eyelids)
Whatever you see first when you wake up, think
What thou seest when thou dost wake, of it as your true love. Love him and yearn for
Do it for thy true love take. him, even if he’s a lynx, a cat, a bear, a leopard,
Love and languish for his sake. or a wild boar. Whatever’s there when you wake
Be it ounce or cat or bear, up will be dear to you. Wake up when something
20 Pard or boar with bristled hair, nasty is nearby.
In thy eye that shall appear,
When thou wakest, it is thy dear. OBERON exits.
Wake when some vile thing is near.
LYSANDER and HERMIA enter.
Exit OBERON
LYSANDER
Enter LYSANDER and HERMIA My love, you look like you’re about to faint from
wandering in the woods for so long, and to tell
LYSANDER you the truth, I’ve gotten us lost.
Fair love, you faint with wandering in the wood.
25 And to speak troth, I have forgot our way.

Act 2, Scene 2, Page 3 We’ll take a rest, if you think it’s a good idea, and
wait until daylight when things will be easier.
We’ll rest us, Hermia, if you think it good.
And tarry for the comfort of the day. HERMIA
HERMIA Let’s do that, Lysander. Find something to
Be it so, Lysander. Find you out a bed, cushion you while you sleep. I’m going to rest my
For I upon this bank will rest my head. head on this little slope.

LYSANDER LYSANDER
30 One turf shall serve as pillow for us both. We can both sleep together on the grass. We’ll
have one heart, one bed, two bodies, and one
One heart, one bed, two bosoms, and one troth. faithful vow.

HERMIA HERMIA

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Nay, good Lysander. For my sake, my dear, No, Lysander. Please, for my sake, sleep a little
Lie further off yet. Do not lie so near. farther away. Don’t sleep so close to me.

LYSANDER LYSANDER
O, take the sense, sweet, of my innocence. Oh, sweetheart, I didn’t mean anything naughty
35 Love takes the meaning in love’s conference. when I said that. When lovers talk to each other,
I mean that my heart unto yours is knit their hearts should understand each other. I just
So that but one heart we can make of it. meant that our hearts are joined, so we can
Two bosoms interchainèd with an oath— almost think of them as one heart. Our two bodies
So then two bosoms and a single troth. are linked together by the promises we’ve made
40 Then by your side no bed room me deny. to each other, so there are two bodies and one
For, lying so, Hermia, I do not lie. faithful vow. So let me sleep next to you. If I
lie next to you, I won’t lie to you—I’ll be faithful
HERMIA and respect you.
Lysander riddles very prettily.
Now much beshrew my manners and my pride HERMIA
If Hermia meant to say Lysander lied. Lysander’s got a way with words. I would
45 But, gentle friend, for love and courtesy certainly be rude and shameful if I had implied
Lie further off in human modesty. that you were a liar. But please, darling, sleep a
Such separation as may well be said little farther away so we can behave properly. It’s
Becomes a virtuous bachelor and a maid. only proper for a well-behaved bachelor and a
So far be distant. And, good night, sweet friend. well-behaved girl to be physically separated like
50 Thy love ne'er alter till thy sweet life end! this. Stay away for now, and good night, my
sweet friend. I hope your love for me remains this
LYSANDER strong for your entire life!
Amen, amen to that fair prayer, say I.
And then end life when I end loyalty! LYSANDER
Here is my bed. Sleep give thee all his rest! Amen to that. I hope my life ends before my
loyalty to you does. I’ll sleep over here. Sleep
well!

Act 2, Scene 2, Page 4

HERMIA HERMIA
With half that wish the wisher’s eyes be pressed! You sleep well too.

HERMIA and LYSANDER sleep HERMIA and LYSANDER sleep. ROBIN enters.

Enter ROBIN ROBIN
I’ve been through the entire forest, but I haven’t
ROBIN found any Athenian man to use the flower on. (he
Through the forest have I gone. sees LYSANDER and HERMIA) Wait a second,
But Athenian found I none, who’s this? He’s wearing Athenian clothes. This
On whose eyes I might approve must be the guy who rejected the Athenian girl.
This flower’s force in stirring love. And here’s the girl, sleeping soundly on the damp
and dirty ground. Pretty girl! She shouldn’t lie
55 (sees LYSANDER and HERMIA) near this rude and heartless man. (he puts flower
Night and silence! Who is here? juice on LYSANDER ’s eyelids) Jerk, I throw all
Weeds of Athens he doth wear. the power of this magic charm on your eyes.
This is he, my master said, When you wake up, let love keep you from going
Despisèd the Athenian maid. back to sleep. Wake up when I’m gone, because
And here the maiden, sleeping sound now I have to go to Oberon.
On the dank and dirty ground.
Pretty soul! She durst not lie
Near this lack-love, this kill-courtesy.

(squeezes flower juice on LYSANDER’s eyelids)
Churl, upon thy eyes I throw
All the power this charm doth owe.
When thou wakest, let love forbid
Sleep his seat on thy eyelid.
So awake when I am gone,

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For I must now to Oberon. ROBIN exits.
Exit ROBIN
DEMETRIUS and HELENA enter, running.
Enter DEMETRIUS and HELENA, running
HELENA HELENA
Stay, though thou kill me, sweet Demetrius. Stop, Demetrius! Stop, even if only to kill me.
DEMETRIUS
I charge thee, hence, and do not haunt me thus. DEMETRIUS
I’m telling you, get out of here, and don’t follow
HELENA me around like this.
O, wilt thou darkling leave me? Do not so.
HELENA
Oh, will you leave me alone in the dark? Don’t.

Act 2, Scene 2, Page 5

DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS
60 Stay, on thy peril. I alone will go. Stay here at your own risk. I’m going on alone.

Exit DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS exits.

HELENA HELENA
Oh, I am out of breath in this fond chase. Oh, I’m out of breath from this foolish chase. The
The more my prayer, the lesser is my grace. more I pray, the less I get out of it. Hermia is
Happy is Hermia, wheresoe'er she lies, lucky, wherever she is, because she has beautiful
For she hath blessèd and attractive eyes. eyes. How did her eyes get so bright? Not from
65 How came her eyes so bright? Not with salt tears. crying. If that’s the case, tears wash my eyes
If so, my eyes are oftener washed than hers. more than hers. No, no, I’m as ugly as a bear,
No, no, I am as ugly as a bear, since animals that see me run away in terror. So
For beasts that meet me run away for fear. it’s no surprise that Demetrius runs away from me
Therefore no marvel though Demetrius as if I were a monster. What evil and deceitful
70 Do, as a monster, fly my presence thus. mirror made me think I could rival Hermia’s starry
What wicked and dissembling glass of mine eyes? (she sees LYSANDER)But who’s this
Made me compare with Hermia’s sphery eyne? here? Lysander, on the ground? Is he dead or
(sees LYSANDER)But who is here? Lysander, on the sleeping? I don’t see any blood or injuries—
ground? Lysander, if you’re alive, wake up.
75 Dead or asleep? I see no blood, no wound.—
Lysander, if you live, good sir, awake. LYSANDER
(waking up) I’d even run through fire if you told
LYSANDER me to. Radiant, beautiful Helena! I feel like
(waking) And run through fire I will for thy sweet sake. Mother Nature has allowed me to see into your
Transparent Helena! Nature shows art heart, as if by magic. Where is Demetrius? Oh, I’d
That through thy bosom makes me see thy heart. kill that name with my sword if I could!
Where is Demetrius? Oh, how fit a word
80 Is that vile name to perish on my sword! HELENA
Don’t say that, Lysander. Don’t say that. Why do
HELENA you care that he loves Hermia? What does it
Do not say so, Lysander. Say not so. matter? Hermia still loves you, so be happy.
What though he love your Hermia? Lord, what
though? LYSANDER
Yet Hermia still loves you. Then be content. Happy with Hermia? No. I regret all the boring
time I wasted with her. I don’t love Hermia; I love
LYSANDER Helena. Who wouldn’t love a dove more than a
Content with Hermia? No. I do repent crow? A man’s desires are influenced by his
85 The tedious minutes I with her have spent. logical mind, and it’s simply logical that you’re
Not Hermia but Helena I love. more worthy of love than Hermia is.
Who will not change a raven for a dove?
The will of man is by his reason swayed,
And reason says you are the worthier maid.

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Act 2, Scene 2, Page 6

90 Things growing are not ripe until their season. Fruits and vegetables don’t ripen until the right
So I, being young, till now ripe not to reason. season of the year. Likewise, I’m young, and my
And touching now the point of human skill, sense of reason has just ripened. I can finally
Reason becomes the marshal to my will see the light. My logic has more control over my
And leads me to your eyes, where I o'erlook desires than it used to, and it’s telling me to look
into your eyes, where I see every love story ever
95 Love’s stories written in love’s richest book. told.

HELENA HELENA
Wherefore was I to this keen mockery born? Why does everyone always make fun of me?
When at your hands did I deserve this scorn? What have I done to deserve this kind of
Is ’t not enough, is ’t not enough, young man, treatment from you? Is it not enough, is it not
That I did never, no, nor never can, enough, young man, that I’ll never be pretty
100 Deserve a sweet look from Demetrius' eye, enough to get a kind look from Demetrius? Do
But you must flout my insufficiency? you have to harp on my inadequacy? My God,
Good troth, you do me wrong, good sooth, you do, it’s wrong for you to woo me in such a cruel,
In such disdainful manner me to woo. disdainful way. But goodbye. I have to tell you, I
But fare you well. Perforce I must confess thought you were a much kinder person than
105 I thought you lord of more true gentleness. this. Oh, how awful that a lady who’s been
Oh, that a lady of one man refused rejected by one man should therefore be treated
Should of another therefore be abused! horribly by another one!

Exit HELENA HELENA exits.

LYSANDER LYSANDER
She sees not Hermia.—Hermia, sleep thou there. She doesn’t see Hermia—Hermia, keep
And never mayst thou come Lysander near! sleeping, and don’t come near me ever again!
110 For as a surfeit of the sweetest things Eating too many sweets makes people sick to
The deepest loathing to the stomach brings, their stomachs, and people always hate the
Or as the heresies that men do leave mistakes they made in the past worse than
Are hated most of those they did deceive, anyone else hates those mistakes. Hermia,
So thou, my surfeit and my heresy, you’re the sweet I’ve had too much of, and the
115 Of all be hated, but the most of me.— mistake I used to make, so I hate you more than
And all my powers, address your love and might anyone else does.—I’ll use all my talents and
To honor Helen and to be her knight. efforts to serve Helen and bring her honor.

Exit LYSANDER LYSANDER exits.

Act 2, Scene 2, Page 7

HERMIA HERMIA
(waking) Help me, Lysander, help me! Do thy best (waking up) Help me, Lysander, help me! Get
To pluck this crawling serpent from my breast. this snake off of my chest. Oh, my God! What a
120 Ay me, for pity! What a dream was here. terrible dream I just had! Lysander, look how I’m
Lysander, look how I do quake with fear. shaking from fear. I thought a snake was eating
Methought a serpent eat my heart away, my heart while you sat smiling and watching.
And you sat smiling at his cruel pray. Lysander!—What, is he gone?—Lysander, my
Lysander!—What, removed?—Lysander, lord!— lord!—What, is he out of earshot? Gone? No
125 What, out of hearing, gone? No sound, no word?— answer, nothing? Oh, God, where are you? Say
Alack, where are you? Speak, an if you hear. something if you can hear me. Say something,
Speak, of all loves! I swoon almost with fear. please! I’m almost fainting with fear. Nothing?
No? Then I well perceive you all not nigh. Then I guess you’re nowhere nearby. I’ll find
Either death or you I’ll find immediately. you—or die—right away.

Exit HERMIA exits.

Act 3, Scene 1

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TITANIA sleeps. Enter the While TITANIA is asleep onstage, the clowns—
clowns: BOTTOM,QUINCE, FLUTE, SNUG, SNOUT, BOTTOM, QUINCE, FLUTE, SNUG, SNOUT,
and STARVELING—enter.
andSTARVELING
BOTTOM
BOTTOM Are we all here?
Are we all met?
QUINCE
QUINCE Right on time. This is the perfect place to
Pat, pat. And here’s a marvelous convenient place for rehearse. This clearing will be the stage, and this
our rehearsal. This green plot shall be our stage, this hawthorn bush will be our dressing room. Let’s
hawthorn-brake our tiring-house, and we will do it in put on our play exactly as we’ll perform it for the
action as we will do it before the duke. duke.

BOTTOM BOTTOM
Peter Quince— Peter Quince—

QUINCE QUINCE
What sayest thou, bully Bottom? What is it, jolly Bottom?

BOTTOM BOTTOM
5 There are things in this comedy of Pyramus and There are things in this comedy of Pyramus and
Thisbe that will never work. First of all, Pyramus
Thisbe that will never please. First, Pyramus must has to take out a sword to kill himself, which the
draw a sword to kill himself, which the ladies cannot ladies in the audience won’t be able to stand.
abide. How answer you that? What should we do about that?

SNOUT SNOUT
By 'r lakin, a parlous fear. By God, that’s a real problem, it’s true.

STARVELING STARVELING
I believe we must leave the killing out, when all is I think we’ll have to leave out all the killing, come
done. to think of it.

BOTTOM BOTTOM
Not a whit. I have a device to make all well. Write me Not at all! I’ve got a plan that will fix everything.
a prologue, and let the prologue seem to say we will Write me a prologue that I can recite to the
do no harm with our swords, and that Pyramus is not audience before the play starts. I’ll tell them that
killed indeed. And for the more better assurance, tell we won’t hurt anyone with our swords, and that
them that I, Pyramus, am not Pyramus, but Bottom Pyramus isn’t really dead. And to make it even
the weaver. This will put them out of fear. clearer, we can tell them that I’m playing Pyramus
but I’m not really Pyramus—really, I’m Bottom the
weaver. That’ll keep them from being afraid.

Act 3, Scene 1, Page 2 QUINCE
All right, we’ll have a prologue then. We’ll write it
QUINCE in alternating eight- and six-syllable lines, just like
Well. We will have such a prologue, and it shall be in a ballad.
written in eight and six.
BOTTOM
BOTTOM No, add a couple more syllables. Make it eight
10 No, make it two more. Let it be written in eight and and eight.

eight. SNOUT
SNOUT Won’t the ladies be scared of the lion?
Will not the ladies be afeard of the lion?
STARVELING STARVELING
I fear it, I promise you. I’m really worried about that.
BOTTOM
Masters, you ought to consider with yourselves. To BOTTOM
bring in—God shield us!—a lion among ladies is a Sirs, you ought to think to yourself, bringing in—
God forbid!—a lion amongst ladies is really

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most dreadful thing. For there is not a more fearful terrible. There’s no scarier wild bird than the living
wildfowl than your lion living. And we ought to look lion, and we should remember that.
to ’t.
SNOUT SNOUT
Therefore another prologue must tell he is not a lion. So we need another prologue to tell everyone
he’s not a real lion.
BOTTOM
15 Nay, you must name his name, and half his face BOTTOM
No, we can just announce the actor’s name, and
must be seen through the lion’s neck. And he himself let his face show through the lion costume, and
must speak through, saying thus—or to the same have him say something himself. He should say
defect—“Ladies,” or “Fair ladies,” “I would wish you” the following, or something else to the
or “I would request you” or “I would entreat you” “not samedefect—“Ladies,” or “Lovely ladies,” “I would
to fear, not to tremble, my life for yours. If you think I like to ask you” or “I would like to request of you”
come hither as a lion, it were pity of my life. No, I am or “I would like to beg you” “not to be afraid, and
no such thing. I am a man as other men are.” And not to tremble with fear. I value your lives as
there indeed let him name his name, and tell them highly as my own. If you thought I was a real lion,
plainly he is Snug the joiner. I would be risking my life. But no, I am not at all a
lion. I am a man, just like other men.” And then he
QUINCE should say his name, and tell them plainly that
Well, it shall be so. But there is two hard things: that he’s Snug the carpenter.
is, to bring the moonlight into a chamber. For, you
know, Pyramus and Thisbe meet by moonlight. QUINCE
All right, that’s what we’ll do then. But there are
two things we still have to figure out. How are we
going to bring moonlight into a room? Because,
you know, Pyramus and Thisbe meet by
moonlight.

Act 3, Scene 1, Page 3 SNOUT
Will the moon be shining on the night we’re
SNOUT performing our play?
Doth the moon shine that night we play our play?
BOTTOM
BOTTOM We need a calendar! Look in the almanac. Look
A calendar, a calendar! Look in the almanac. Find out up moonshine, look up moonshine!
moonshine, find out moonshine!
QUINCE QUINCE
(takes out a book) Yes, it doth shine that night. (he takes out a book) Yes, the moon will shine
that night.
BOTTOM
20 Why then, may you leave a casement of the great BOTTOM
Well then, you can leave one of the windows
chamber window where we play open, and the moon open in the big hall where we’ll be performing,
may shine in at the casement. and the moon can shine in through the window.
QUINCE
Ay. Or else one must come in with a bush of thorns QUINCE
and a lantern, and say he comes to disfigure, or to Yes, or else someone will have to come in
present, the person of Moonshine. Then, there is carrying a bundle of sticks and a lantern and say
another thing: we must have a wall in the great he’s come to disfigure, or represent, the character
chamber. For Pyramus and Thisbe, says the story, of Moonshine, because the man in the moon is
did talk through the chink of a wall. supposed to carry sticks and a lantern. But
there’s still another problem: we need to have a
SNOUT wall in the big hall, because according to the
story, Pyramus and Thisbe talked through a little
hole in a wall.

SNOUT

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You can never bring in a wall. What say you, Bottom? You’ll never be able to bring in a wall. What do
you think, Bottom?
BOTTOM
Some man or other must present Wall. And let him BOTTOM
have some plaster, or some loam, or some roughcast Someone should play the part of Wall. He can
about him to signify wall. And let him hold his fingers have some plaster or clay or limestone or
thus, and through that cranny shall Pyramus and something on him to show the audience he’s a
Thisbe whisper. wall. He can hold his fingers in a V-shape like
this, and Pyramus and Thisbe can whisper to
QUINCE each other through that little crack.
If that may be then all is well. Come, sit down, every
mother’s son, and rehearse your parts.—Pyramus, QUINCE
you begin. When you have spoken your speech, If we can do that, everything will be all right. Now
enter into that brake.—And so everyone according to sit down, everybody, and rehearse your parts—
his cue. Pyramus, you start. When you have said your
lines, go hide in that bush.—Everyone else, go
there too when you’re not onstage.

Act 3, Scene 1, Page 4

Enter ROBIN unseen ROBIN enters, unseen by the characters
onstage.
ROBIN
25 (aside) What hempen homespuns have we ROBIN
(to himself) Who are these country bumpkins
swaggering here, swaggering around so close to where the fairy
So near the cradle of the fairy queen? queen is sleeping? What? Are they about to put
What, a play toward? I’ll be an auditor. on a play? I’ll watch. And I’ll act in it, too, if I feel
An actor too, perhaps, if I see cause. like it.
QUINCE QUINCE
Speak, Pyramus.—Thisbe, stand forth. Speak, Pyramus.—Thisbe, come forward.
BOTTOM BOTTOM
30 (as PYRAMUS) Thisbe, the flowers of odious savors (as PYRAMUS) Thisbe, flowers with sweet
sweet— odious smells—
QUINCE QUINCE
“Odors,” “odors.” “Odors,” “odors.”
BOTTOM BOTTOM
(as PYRAMUS) (as PYRAMUS) —odors and smells are like your
breath, my dearest Thisbe dear. But what’s that,
—odors savors sweet, a voice! Wait here a while. I’ll be right back!
So hath thy breath, my dearest Thisbe dear.
And by and by I will to thee appear. BOTTOM exits.
35 But hark, a voice! ROBIN
(to himself) That’s the strangest Pyramus I’ve
Stay thou but here awhile, ever seen.

Exit BOTTOM ROBIN exits.
FLUTE
ROBIN Am I supposed to talk now?
(aside) A stranger Pyramus than e'er played here. QUINCE
Yes, you are. You’re supposed to show that you
Exit ROBIN understand that Pyramus just went to check on a
noise he heard and is coming right back.
FLUTE FLUTE
Must I speak now?

QUINCE
Ay, marry, must you. For you must understand he
goes but to see a noise that he heard, and is to come
again.
FLUTE

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(as THISBE ) Most radiant Pyramus, most lily-white (as THISBE) Most radiant Pyramus, you are as
40 of hue, white as a lily, and the color of a red rose on a
splendid rosebush, a very lively young man and
Of color like the red rose on triumphant brier, also a lovely Jew. You are as reliable as a horse
Most brisky juvenal and eke most lovely Jew, that never gets tired. I’ll meet you, Pyramus, at
As true as truest horse that yet would never tire. Ninny’s grave.
I’ll meet thee, Pyramus, at Ninny’s tomb.

Act 3, Scene 1, Page 5

QUINCE QUINCE
“Ninus' tomb,” man. Why, you must not speak that That’s “Ninus’s grave,” man. And don’t say all of
yet. That you answer to Pyramus. You speak all your that yet. You’re supposed to say some of it as a
part at once, cues and all.—Pyramus, enter. Your reply to Pyramus. You just said all your lines at
cue is past. It is “never tire.” once, cues and all.—Pyramus, enter. You missed
your cue. It’s “never get tired.”
FLUTE
45 Oh. (as thisbe) As true as truest horse that yet would FLUTE
Oh! (as THISBE) As reliable as a horse that
never tire. never gets tired.
Enter BOTTOM, with an ass’s head, and ROBIN
ROBIN enters with BOTTOM, with a donkey’s
BOTTOM head instead of a human head.
(as PYRAMUS) If I were fair, Thisbe, I were only
thine. BOTTOM
QUINCE (as PYRAMUS) If I were handsome, my lovely
Oh, monstrous! Oh, strange! We are haunted. Pray, Thisbe, I would still want only you.
masters! Fly, masters! Help!
QUINCE
Exeunt QUINCE, FLUTE, SNUG, SNOUT, Help! It’s a monster! We’re being haunted. Run,
andSTARVELING everyone, run!

ROBIN QUINCE, FLUTE, SNUG, SNOUT,
I’ll follow you. I’ll lead you about a round andSTARVELING exit.
Through bog, through bush, through brake, through
50 brier. ROBIN
Sometime a horse I’ll be, sometime a hound, I’ll follow you. I’ll run you around in circles,
A hog, a headless bear, sometime a fire. through bogs and bushes and woods and thorns.
And neigh, and bark, and grunt, and roar, and burn, Sometimes I’ll take the shape of a horse,
Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire, at every turn. sometimes I’ll take the shape of a hound or a pig
or a headless bear. Sometimes I’ll turn into fire!
Exit ROBIN And I’ll neigh like a horse and bark like a hound
BOTTOM and grunt like a pig and roar like a bear and burn
Why do they run away? This is a knavery of them to like a fire at every turn.
make me afeard.
ROBIN exits.
Enter SNOUT
BOTTOM
Why are they running away? This is some joke of
theirs to scare me.

SNOUT enters.

Act 3, Scene 1, Page 6

SNOUT SNOUT
55 O Bottom, thou art changed! What do I see on thee? Oh, Bottom, you’ve changed! What have you got
on your head?
BOTTOM
What do you see? You see an ass head of your own, BOTTOM
do you? What do you think I’ve got on my head? You’re
acting like an ass, don’t you think?
Exit SNOUT
SNOUT exits.

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Enter QUINCE QUINCE enters.
QUINCE
Bless thee, Bottom, bless thee. Thou art translated. QUINCE
God bless you, Bottom, God bless you. You’ve
Exit QUINCE been changed. Reborn.
BOTTOM
I see their knavery: this is to make an ass of me, to QUINCE exits.
fright me if they could. But I will not stir from this
place, do what they can. I will walk up and down here BOTTOM
and I will sing, that they shall hear I am not afraid. I see what they’re up to. They want to make an
(sings) ass of me, to scare me if they can. But I won’t
leave this spot, no matter what they do. I’ll walk
The ouzel cock, so black of hue up and down and sing a song, so they’ll know I’m
With orange-tawny bill, not afraid.
The throstle with his note so true, (singing)
The wren with little quill—
The blackbird with its black feathers
TITANIA And its orange-and-tan beak,
60 (waking) What angel wakes me from my flowery bed? The thrush with its clear voice,
The wren with its small, piping chirp—
BOTTOM
(sings) TITANIA
(waking up) What angel is this who’s waking me
The finch, the sparrow, and the lark, up from my bed of flowers?
The plainsong cuckoo gray,
Whose note full many a man doth mark BOTTOM
And dares not answer “Nay”— (singing)

The finch, the sparrow, and the lark,
The gray cuckoo with his simple song
That many men hear
But they don’t dare say no to it—

Act 3, Scene 1, Page 7 Of course they don’t say “no”! Who’d waste his
time talking to such a stupid bird? Who’d bother
For indeed, who would set his wit to so foolish a bird? to accuse a bird of lying, even if the bird were
Who would give a bird the lie, though he cry “cuckoo” telling him that his wife was cheating on him?
never so?
TITANIA
TITANIA Please sing again, sweet human. I love to listen
I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again. to your voice, and I love to look at your body. I
65 Mine ear is much enamored of thy note. know this is the first time I’ve ever seen you, but
So is mine eye enthrallèd to thy shape. you’re so wonderful that I can’t help swearing to
And thy fair virtue’s force perforce doth move me you that I love you.
On the first view to say, to swear, I love thee.
BOTTOM BOTTOM
Methinks, mistress, you should have little reason for I don’t think you’ve got much of a reason to love
70 that. me. But to tell you the truth, reason and love have
And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little very little to do with each other these days. It’s
company together nowadays. The more the pity that too bad some mutual friend of theirs doesn’t
some honest neighbors will not make them friends. introduce them. Ha, ha! No, I’m just kidding.
Nay, I can gleek upon occasion.
TITANIA TITANIA
Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful. You’re as wise as you are beautiful.
BOTTOM
Not so, neither. But if I had wit enough to get out of BOTTOM
this wood, I have enough to serve mine own turn. No, that’s not true. But if I were smart enough to
get out of this forest, I’d be wise enough to satisfy
TITANIA myself.
Out of this wood do not desire to go.
TITANIA
Don’t bother wishing you could leave this forest,

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Thou shalt remain here whether thou wilt or no. because you’re going to stay here whether you
75 I am a spirit of no common rate. want to or not. I’m no ordinary fairy. I rule over the
summer, and I love you. So come with me. I’ll
The summer still doth tend upon my state. give you fairies as servants, and they’ll bring you
And I do love thee. Therefore go with me. jewels from the depths of the ocean, and sing to
I’ll give thee fairies to attend on thee. you while you sleep on a bed of flowers. And I’ll
And they shall fetch thee jewels from the deep, turn you into a spirit like us, so you won’t die as
80 And sing while thou on pressèd flowers dost sleep. humans do.—Come here, Peaseblossom,
And I will purge thy mortal grossness so Cobweb, Moth, and Mustardseed!
That thou shalt like an airy spirit go.—
Peaseblossom, Cobweb, Moth, and Mustardseed!

Act 3, Scene 1, Page 8

Enter four Four fairies—
fairies: PEASEBLOSSOM, COBWEB,MOTH, PEASEBLOSSOM, COBWEB,MOTH,

and MUSTARDSEED and MUSTARDSEED—enter.

PEASEBLOSSOM PEASEBLOSSOM
Ready. Ready.

COBWEB COBWEB
And I. Me too.

MOTH MOTH
And I. Me too.

MUSTARDSEED MUSTARDSEED
And I. And me too.

ALL ALL
85 Where shall we go? Where should we go?

TITANIA TITANIA
Be kind and courteous to this gentleman. Be kind and polite to this gentleman. Follow him
Hop in his walks and gambol in his eyes. around. Leap and dance for him. Feed him
Feed him with apricoks and dewberries, apricots and blackberries, with purple grapes,
With purple grapes, green figs, and mulberries. green figs, and mulberries. Steal honey from the
90 The honey bags steal from the humble-bees, bumblebees, and make candles out of the bees'
And for night tapers crop their waxen thighs wax. Light them with the light of glowworms, so
And light them at the fiery glowworms' eyes my love will have light when he goes to bed and
To have my love to bed and to arise. wakes up. Pluck off colorful butterfly wings, and
And pluck the wings from painted butterflies use them to fan moonbeams away from his eyes
95 To fan the moonbeams from his sleeping eyes. as he sleeps. Bow to him, fairies, and curtsy to
Nod to him, elves, and do him courtesies. him.

PEASEBLOSSOM PEASEBLOSSOM
Hail, mortal. Hello, mortal!

COBWEB COBWEB
Hail. Hello!

MOTH MOTH
Hail. Hello!

MUSTARDSEED MUSTARDSEED
Hail. Hello!

BOTTOM BOTTOM
I cry your worships' mercy, heartily.—I beseech your I beg your pardon, sirs.—Please tell me your
worship’s name. name, sir?

Act 3, Scene 1, Page 9

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COBWEB COBWEB
Cobweb. Cobweb.
BOTTOM
100 I shall desire you of more acquaintance, good BOTTOM
Master I’d like to get to know you better, Mr. Cobweb. If I
Cobweb. If I cut my finger, I shall make bold with cut my finger, I’ll use you as a bandage to stop
you.— the bleeding.—And your name, sir?
Your name, honest gentleman?
PEASEBLOSSOM PEASEBLOSSOM
Peaseblossom. Peaseblossom.
BOTTOM
I pray you, commend me to Mistress Squash, your BOTTOM
mother, and to Master Peascod, your father. Good Please, give my regards to your mother, Mrs.
Master Peaseblossom, I shall desire you of more Peapod, and your father, Mr. Peapod. Good Mr.
acquaintance too.— Your name, I beseech you, sir? Peaseblossom, I’d like to get to know you better
MUSTARDSEED too.—And you, may I ask what your name is, sir?
105 Mustardseed.
BOTTOM MUSTARDSEED
Good Master Mustardseed, I know your patience Mustardseed.
well. That same cowardly, giantlike ox-beef hath
devoured many a gentleman of your house. I BOTTOM
promise you your kindred hath made my eyes water Good Mr. Mustardseed, I know you very well.
ere now. I desire you of more acquaintance, good Those cowardly, gigantic sides of beef have
Master Mustardseed. been responsible for many of your family
members getting eaten as a condiment on beef. I
TITANIA swear to you, many members of your mustard
Come, wait upon him. Lead him to my bower. family have made my eyes water before. I look
The moon methinks looks with a watery eye. forward to getting to know you better, Mr.
And when she weeps, weeps every little flower, Mustardseed.
110 Lamenting some enforcèd chastity.
Tie up my love’s tongue. Bring him silently. TITANIA
Take good care of him. Take him to my sleeping
Exeunt area. The moon looks sad to me. When she
cries, all the little flowers cry too. They’re sad
because someone is prevented from having
sex—or is having it against her will. Keep my
lover quiet. Bring him to me in silence.

They all exit.

Act 3, Scene 2

Enter OBERON, King of Fairies, solus OBERON, the Fairy King, enters.
OBERON
I wonder if Titania be awaked. OBERON
Then, what it was that next came in her eye, I wonder if Titania is awake yet, and if she is, I
Which she must dote on in extremity. wonder what the first thing she saw was.
Whatever it is, she must be completely in love
Enter ROBIN with it now.
Here comes my messenger.—How now, mad spirit?
5 What night-rule now about this haunted grove? ROBIN enters.

ROBIN Ah, here comes my messenger.—What’s going
My mistress with a monster is in love. on, you crazy spirit? What havoc have you
Near to her close and consecrated bower, wreaked in this part of the forest?
While she was in her dull and sleeping hour,
A crew of patches, rude mechanicals ROBIN
10 That work for bread upon Athenian stalls, My mistress Titania is in love with a monster.
While she was sleeping in her bed of flowers, a
group of bumbling idiots, rough workmen from
Athens, got together nearby to rehearse some
play they plan to perform on Theseus’s wedding

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Were met together to rehearse a play day. The stupidest one, who played Pyramus in
Intended for great Theseus' nuptial day. their play, finished his scene and went to sit in the
The shallowest thick-skin of that barren sort, bushes to wait for his next cue. I took that
Who Pyramus presented in their sport, opportunity to stick a donkey’s head on him.
15 Forsook his scene and entered in a brake, When it was time for him to go back onstage and
When I did him at this advantage take, talk to his Thisbe, he came out of the bushes and
An ass’s nole I fixèd on his head. everyone saw him. His friends ran away as fast
Anon his Thisbe must be answerèd, as ducks scatter when they hear a hunter’s
And forth my mimic comes. When they him spy, gunshot. One of them was so frightened when he
20 As wild geese that the creeping fowler eye, heard my footsteps that he yelled, “Murder!” and
Or russet-pated choughs, many in sort, called for help from Athens. They were all so
Rising and cawing at the gun’s report, afraid that they completely lost their common
Sever themselves and madly sweep the sky— sense. They started to become scared of
So at his sight away his fellows fly; inanimate objects, terrified by the thorns and
25 And, at our stamp, here o'er and o'er one falls. briars that catch at their clothing and pull off their
sleeves and hats. I led them on in this frightened,
distracted state, and left sweet

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 2

He “Murder!” cries and help from Athens calls. Pyramus there, transformed into someone with a
Their sense thus weak, lost with their fears thus donkey’s head. At that exact moment, Titania
strong, woke up and immediately fell in love with him, an
Made senseless things begin to do them wrong. ass.
30 For briers and thorns at their apparel snatch,
Some sleeves, some hats—from yielders all things OBERON
catch. This is going even better than I planned. But have
I led them on in this distracted fear you put the love juice from the flower on the eyes
And left sweet Pyramus translated there. of that Athenian, as I asked you to do?
When in that moment so it came to pass, ROBIN
Titania waked and straightway loved an ass. Yes, I found him when he was asleep—so that’s
OBERON taken care of too—and the Athenian woman was
35 This falls out better than I could devise. sleeping near him. When he woke up, he must
But hast thou yet latched the Athenian’s eyes have seen her.
With the love juice, as I did bid thee do?
ROBIN DEMETRIUS and HERMIA enter.
I took him sleeping—that is finished too— OBERON
And the Athenian woman by his side, (speaking so that only ROBIN can hear) Step
40 That, when he waked, of force she must be eyed. aside. Here’s the Athenian coming now.
ROBIN
Enter DEMETRIUS and HERMIA (speaking so that only OBERON can hear)That’s
definitely the woman I saw, but it’s not the same
OBERON man.
(aside to ROBIN) Stand close. This is the same DEMETRIUS
Athenian. Why are you so rude to someone who loves you
ROBIN so much? Save that kind of harsh language for
(aside to OBERON) This is the woman, but not this your worst enemy.
the man. HERMIA
I’m only scolding you now, but I should treat you
DEMETRIUS
Oh, why rebuke you him that loves you so?
Lay breath so bitter on your bitter foe.

HERMIA
45 Now I but chide, but I should use thee worse.

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For thou, I fear, hast given me cause to curse. much worse, because I’m afraid you’ve given me
If thou hast slain Lysander in his sleep, good reason to curse you. If you killed Lysander
Being o'er shoes in blood, plunge in the deep, while he was sleeping, then you’re already up to
And kill me too. your ankles in blood. You might as well jump right
into a bloodbath and kill me, too.

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 3 He was more faithful to me than the sun is to the
daytime. Would he have snuck away from me
50 The sun was not so true unto the day while I was asleep? I’ll believe that when I believe
As he to me. Would he have stolen away that there’s a hole through the center of the earth,
From sleeping Hermia? I’ll believe as soon and the moon has passed all the way through to
This whole Earth may be bored, and that the moon the other side. The only possibility is that you’ve
May through the center creep and so displease murdered him. A murderer should look like you
do, so pale and grim.
55 Her brother’s noontide with th' Antipodes.
It cannot be but thou hast murdered him. DEMETRIUS
So should a murderer look, so dead, so grim. That’s how someone who’s been murdered
DEMETRIUS should look, and that’s how I look. You’ve pierced
So should the murdered look, and so should I, me through the heart with your cruelty, and yet
Pierced through the heart with your stern cruelty. you, the murderer, look as bright and clear as a
star in the sky.
60 Yet you, the murderer, look as bright, as clear,
As yonder Venus in her glimmering sphere. HERMIA
What does that have to do with my Lysander?
HERMIA Where is he? Oh, good Demetrius, will you find
What’s this to my Lysander? Where is he? him for me?
Ah, good Demetrius, wilt thou give him me?
DEMETRIUS
DEMETRIUS I would rather feed his corpse to my dogs.
I had rather give his carcass to my hounds.
HERMIA HERMIA
65 Out, dog! Out, cur! Thou drivest me past the bounds Get out, dog! You’ve driven me to my wit’s end.
Of maiden’s patience. Hast thou slain him then? Did you kill him, then? From now on I won’t even
Henceforth be never numbered among men! consider you a human being. Oh, just tell the truth
Oh, once tell true, tell true even for my sake— for once. tell the truth, if only for my sake.—
Durst thou have looked upon him being awake, Would you have even dared to look at him when
70 And hast thou killed him sleeping? O brave touch! he was awake? And did you kill him while he was
Could not a worm, an adder, do so much? sleeping? Oh, how brave of you! A snake could
An adder did it, for with doubler tongue do that as easily as you could. A snake did do it,
Than thine, thou serpent, never adder stung. because no snake ever had a more forked, lying
tongue than you have.
DEMETRIUS
You spend your passion on a misprised mood. DEMETRIUS
75 I am not guilty of Lysander’s blood. You’re getting all worked up over a
Nor is he dead, for aught that I can tell. misunderstanding. I didn’t kill Lysander. ?As far
HERMIA as I know, he’s not even dead.
I pray thee, tell me then that he is well.
DEMETRIUS HERMIA
An if I could, what should I get therefore? Then please tell me he’s all right.

DEMETRIUS
If I told you that, what would I get out of it?

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 4 HERMIA
The privilege of never seeing me again. And now
HERMIA I’m going to leave your despised company. You’ll
A privilege never to see me more.
80 And from thy hated presence part I so.

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See me no more, whether he be dead or no. never see me again, whether or not he’s dead.
Exit HERMIA
HERMIA exits.
DEMETRIUS
There is no following her in this fierce vein. DEMETRIUS
Here therefore for a while I will remain. I can’t go after her when she’s in a rage like this.
So sorrow’s heaviness doth heavier grow So I’ll stay here for a while. Sadness gets worse
85 For debt that bankrupt sleep doth sorrow owe, when you haven’t had enough sleep. I’ll try to
Which now in some slight measure it will pay, sleep a little here. ( DEMETRIUS lies down and
If for his tender here I make some stay. falls asleep)
(lies down and sleeps)
OBERON OBERON
(to ROBIN) What hast thou done? Thou hast (to ROBIN) What have you done? You’ve made
90 mistaken quite, a mistake and put the love-juice on someone
And laid the love juice on some true love’s sight. else, someone who was truly in love. Because of
Of thy misprision must perforce ensue your mistake someone’s true love must have
Some true love turned, and not a false turned true. turned bad, instead of this man’s false love being
turned into a true love.
ROBIN
Then fate o'errules that, one man holding troth, ROBIN
A million fail, confounding oath on oath. In that case, it must be fate. That’s the way of the
world. For every man who’s faithful to his true
OBERON love, a million end up running after a different
95 About the wood go swifter than the wind, lover.

And Helena of Athens look thou find— OBERON
All fancy-sick she is and pale of cheer, Go around the forest, moving faster than the
With sighs of love, that costs the fresh blood dear. wind, and make sure you find Helena of
By some illusion see thou bring her here. Athens.—She’s lovesick, and her face is pale
100 I’ll charm his eyes against she do appear. from all the sighing she’s been doing, because
sighing is bad for the blood. Bring her here with
ROBIN some trick or illusion, and I’ll put the charm on his
I go, I go. Look how I go, eyes for when she comes.
Swifter than arrow from the Tartar’s bow.
ROBIN
Exit ROBIN I go, I go, look at me go—faster than an arrow
from a Tartar’s bow.

ROBIN exits

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 5

OBERON OBERON
(squeezing flower juice into DEMETRIUS ’s eyes) (putting flower juice on DEMETRIUS ’s eyelids)
Flower of this purple dye, You purple flower, hit by Cupid’s arrow, sink into
105 Hit with Cupid’s archery, the pupils of this man’s eyes. When he sees the
Sink in apple of his eye. girl he should love, make her seem as bright to
When his love he doth espy, him as the evening star. Young man, when you
Let her shine as gloriously wake up, if she’s nearby, beg her to cure your
As the Venus of the sky. lovesickness.
110 When thou wakest, if she be by,
Beg of her for remedy. ROBIN enters.
ROBIN
Enter ROBIN Helena is nearby, boss. The young man who I
mistook for this one is there too, begging her to
ROBIN love him. Should we watch this ridiculous scene?
Captain of our fairy band, Lord, what fools these mortals are!
Helena is here at hand,
And the youth, mistook by me,
115 Pleading for a lover’s fee.

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Shall we their fond pageant see? OBERON
Lord, what fools these mortals be! Step aside. The noise they’re making will wake
up Demetrius.
OBERON ROBIN
Stand aside. The noise they make Then the two of them will both pursue one girl.
Will cause Demetrius to awake. That will be funny enough, and preposterous
situations are my favorite thing.
ROBIN
120 Then will two at once woo one. LYSANDER and HELENA enter.
LYSANDER
That must needs be sport alone. Why do you think I’m making fun of you when I
And those things do best please me tell you I love you? People don’t cry when they’re
That befall preposterously. mocking someone.

Enter LYSANDER and HELENA

LYSANDER
Why should you think that I should woo in scorn?
125 Scorn and derision never come in tears.

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 6 Look, when I swear that I love you, I cry, and
when someone cries while he’s making a
Look, when I vow, I weep. And vows so born, promise, he’s usually telling the truth. How can it
In their nativity all truth appears. seem like I’m making fun of you, when my tears
How can these things in me seem scorn to you, prove that I’m sincere?
Bearing the badge of faith to prove them true?
HELENA
HELENA You get trickier and trickier. You’ve made the
130 You do advance your cunning more and more. same promises to me and to Hermia—they can’t
both be true! They must both be false. The
When truth kills truth, O devilish holy fray! promises you’re making to me belong to Hermia.
These vows are Hermia’s. Will you give her o'er? Will you abandon her? If you weighed the
Weigh oath with oath, and you will nothing weigh. promises you made to me against the promises
Your vows to her and me, put in two scales, you made to her, they’d come out the same—
135 Will even weigh, and both as light as tales. they both weigh nothing. They’re lies.

LYSANDER LYSANDER
I had no judgment when to her I swore. I wasn’t thinking clearly when I made those
promises to her.
HELENA
Nor none, in my mind, now you give her o'er. HELENA
And I don’t believe you’re thinking clearly now,
LYSANDER as you break those promises.
Demetrius loves her, and he loves not you.
DEMETRIUS LYSANDER
(waking) O Helena, goddess, nymph, perfect, divine! Demetrius loves her, and he doesn’t love you.
140 To what, my love, shall I compare thine eyne?
Crystal is muddy. Oh, how ripe in show DEMETRIUS
Thy lips, those kissing cherries, tempting grow! (waking up) Oh Helena, you goddess, you divine
That pure congealèd white, high Taurus' snow, and perfect nymph! What can I compare your
Fanned with the eastern wind, turns to a crow eyes to? Crystal isn’t as clear as they are. Oh,
145 When thou hold’st up thy hand. Oh, let me kiss your lips are as ripe as a pair of tempting
This princess of pure white, this seal of bliss! cherries touching each other! The pure white of
the snow on a mountaintop seems black as a
HELENA crow’s wing next to the whiteness of your hands.
O spite! O hell! I see you all are bent Oh, let me kiss your beautiful white hand. It’ll
To set against me for your merriment. make me so happy!

HELENA
Damn it! I see you’re all determined to gang up
on me for a few laughs. If you had any manners

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If you were civil and knew courtesy, at all, you wouldn’t treat me like this. Can’t you
150 You would not do me thus much injury. just hate me, as I know you do? Do you have to
get together to humiliate me too? If you were real
Can you not hate me, as I know you do, men, as you pretend to be, you wouldn’t treat a
But you must join in souls to mock me too? lady this way, making vows and promises and
If you were men, as men you are in show, praising my beauty when I know you’re really
You would not use a gentle lady so both disgusted by me. You’re competing for

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 7

155 To vow, and swear, and superpraise my parts, Hermia’s love, and now you’re competing to see
When I am sure you hate me with your hearts. which one of you can make fun of me the most.
You both are rivals, and love Hermia, That’s a great idea, a really manly thing to do—
And now both rivals to mock Helena— making a poor girl cry! No respectable person
A trim exploit, a manly enterprise, would offend an innocent girl just to have some
fun.
160 To conjure tears up in a poor maid’s eyes
With your derision! None of noble sort LYSANDER
Would so offend a virgin, and extort Don’t be cruel, Demetrius. I know you love
A poor soul’s patience, all to make you sport. Hermia, and you know I know it. Right here, right
now, I swear I’m giving up all my claims on her
LYSANDER and handing her to you. In exchange, give up
You are unkind, Demetrius. Be not so. your claim to love Helena, since I love her and
165 For you love Hermia. This you know I know. will love her until I die.
And here, with all good will, with all my heart, HELENA
In Hermia’s love I yield you up my part. Nobody’s ever gone to so much trouble just to
And yours of Helena to me bequeath, make fun of someone.
Whom I do love and will do till my death. DEMETRIUS
Lysander, keep your Hermia. I don’t want her. If I
HELENA ever loved her, all that love is gone now. My love
170 Never did mockers waste more idle breath. for her was temporary. Now I’ll love Helena
forever.
DEMETRIUS
Lysander, keep thy Hermia. I will none. LYSANDER
If e'er I loved her, all that love is gone. Helena, it’s not true.
My heart to her but as guest-wise sojourned, DEMETRIUS
And now to Helen is it home returned, Don’t insult a deep love that you don’t
175 There to remain. understand, or you’ll pay the price. Look, here
comes the woman you love.
LYSANDER
Helen, it is not so. HERMIA enters.
HERMIA
DEMETRIUS It’s hard to see clearly in the dark of night, but it’s
Disparage not the faith thou dost not know, easier to hear well.
Lest to thy peril thou aby it dear.
Look, where thy love comes. Yonder is thy dear.

Enter HERMIA

HERMIA
180 Dark night, that from the eye his function takes,

The ear more quick of apprehension makes.
Wherein it doth impair the seeing sense,
It pays the hearing double recompense.

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 8 I couldn’t see you, Lysander, but I heard your
voice, and that’s how I found you. Why did you
Thou art not by mine eye, Lysander, found. leave me alone so unkindly?
185 Mine ear, I thank it, brought me to thy sound

But why unkindly didst thou leave me so?

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LYSANDER LYSANDER
Why should he stay, whom love doth press to go? Why stay when love tells you to go?

HERMIA HERMIA
What love could press Lysander from my side? But what love could make my Lysander leave
me?
LYSANDER
Lysander’s love, that would not let him bide, LYSANDER
190 Fair Helena, who more engilds the night I had to hurry to my love, beautiful Helena, who
Than all yon fiery oes and eyes of light. lights up the night better than all those fiery stars.
Why seek’st thou me? Could not this make thee Why are you looking for me? Didn’t you figure
know out that I left you because I hate you?
The hate I bear thee made me leave thee so?
HERMIA
HERMIA You can’t mean what you’re saying. It’s
You speak not as you think. It cannot be. impossible.

HELENA HELENA
195 Lo, she is one of this confederacy! So, she’s in on this too! Now I see that all three
of them have gotten together to play this cruel
Now I perceive they have conjoined all three trick on me. Hurtful Hermia, you ungrateful girl,
To fashion this false sport, in spite of me.— have you conspired with these two to provoke
Injurious Hermia! Most ungrateful maid! me with this horrible teasing? Have you forgotten
Have you conspired, have you with these contrived all the talks we’ve had together, the vows we
200 To bait me with this foul derision? made to be like sisters to one another, all the
Is all the counsel that we two have shared, hours we spent together, wishing that we never
The sisters' vows, the hours that we have spent had to say goodbye—have you forgotten? Our
When we have chid the hasty-footed time friendship in our schooldays, our childhood
For parting us—oh, is it all forgot? innocence? We used to sit together and sew one
205 All schooldays' friendship, childhood innocence? flower with our two needles, sewing it on one
We, Hermia, like two artificial gods, piece of cloth, sitting on the same cushion,
Have with our needles created both one flower, singing one song in the same key, as if our
Both on one sampler, sitting on one cushion, hands, our sides, our voices and our minds were
Both warbling of one song, both in one key, stuck together. We grew together like twin
210 As if our hands, our sides, voices, and minds, cherries—which seemed to be separate but were
Had been incorporate. So we grew together, also together—two lovely cherries on one stem.
Like to a double cherry—seeming parted
But yet an union in partition—
Two lovely berries molded on one stem;

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 9 We seemed to have two separate bodies, but we
had one heart. Do you want to destroy our old
215 So, with two seeming bodies but one heart, friendship by joining these men to insult your
Two of the first, like coats in heraldry, poor friend? It’s not friendly, and it’s not ladylike.
Due but to one and crownèd with one crest. All women would be angry with you for doing it,
And will you rent our ancient love asunder even though I’m the only one who’s hurt by it.
To join with men in scorning your poor friend?
HERMIA
220 It is not friendly, ’tis not maidenly. I’m completely dumbfounded by what you’re
Our sex, as well as I, may chide you for it, saying. I’m not insulting you. It sounds more like
Though I alone do feel the injury. you’re insulting me.
HELENA
HERMIA Come on, confess. Didn’t you send Lysander, as
I am amazèd at your passionate words. an insult, to follow me around praising my eyes
I scorn you not. It seems that you scorn me.

HELENA
225 Have you not set Lysander, as in scorn,

To follow me and praise my eyes and face?

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And made your other love, Demetrius— and my face? Haven’t you made your other love,
Who even but now did spurn me with his foot— Demetrius—who kicked me with his foot not long
To call me goddess, nymph, divine, and rare, ago—call me a goddess and a divine, rare,
230 Precious, celestial? Wherefore speaks he this precious, heavenly creature? Why does he talk
To her he hates? And wherefore doth Lysander like that to a girl he can’t stand? And why does
Deny your love, so rich within his soul, Lysander deny that he loves you, when he loves
And tender me, forsooth, affection, you so deeply? Why would he show me any
But by your setting on, by your consent? affection, unless you told him to? Why does it
235 What though I be not so in grace as you— matter that I’m not as lucky or lovable as you are
So hung upon with love, so fortunate— and that the love I feel is unrequited? You should
But miserable most, to love unloved? pity me for that reason, not hate me.
This you should pity rather than despise.
HERMIA
HERMIA I don’t know what you’re talking about.
I understand not what you mean by this.
HELENA
HELENA Oh, fine. All right, go ahead, keep up your little
240 Ay, do. Persever, counterfeit sad looks, game, pretend to be sympathetic, but then nudge
each other and wink and make faces at me when
Make mouths upon me when I turn my back, I turn my back. Keep up your wonderful game.
Wink each at other, hold the sweet jest up— You’re doing such a good job on this trick,
This sport, well carried, shall be chronicled. someone should write a book about it.

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 10 If you had any sense of pity, or manners, you
wouldn’t pretend to fight over me like this. But
If you have any pity, grace, or manners, goodbye. It’s partly my own fault, since I followed
245 You would not make me such an argument. you here. Leaving—or dying—will soon take care
of everything.
But fare ye well. 'Tis partly my own fault,
Which death or absence soon shall remedy. LYSANDER
Stay, lovely Helena. Listen to my excuse. My
LYSANDER love, my life, my soul, beautiful Helena!
Stay, gentle Helena. Hear my excuse.
My love, my life, my soul, fair Helena! HELENA
HELENA That’s a good one.
250 Oh, excellent!
HERMIA HERMIA
(to LYSANDER) (to LYSANDER) Don’t insult her like that,
Lysander darling.
Sweet, do not scorn her so.
DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS
If she cannot entreat, I can compel. (to LYSANDER) If Hermia’s begging can’t make
you stop insulting Helena, I can force you to do
LYSANDER so.
Thou canst compel no more than she entreat.
Thy threats have no more strength than her weak LYSANDER
255 prayers.— You can’t force me any more than Hermia can
Helen, I love thee. By my life, I do. beg me. Your threats are no stronger than her
I swear by that which I will lose for thee whining.—Helena, I love you. I swear I do. I’ll
To prove him false that says I love thee not. give my life for you, just to prove this guy wrong
DEMETRIUS when he says I don’t love you.
I say I love thee more than he can do.
LYSANDER DEMETRIUS
If thou say so, withdraw and prove it too. I say that I love you more than he does.

LYSANDER
If that’s what you say, go fight a duel with me
and prove it.

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DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS
260 Quick, come. You’re on. Let’s do it.

HERMIA HERMIA
Lysander, whereto tends all this? Lysander, where are you going with all this?

(holds LYSANDER back) (she holds LYSANDER back)

LYSANDER LYSANDER
(to HERMIA) Away, you Ethiope! (to HERMIA) Get away, you African!

DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS
(to HERMIA) (to HERMIA) No, no. He’ll act like he’s going to
break free from you, Hermia.
No, no. He’ll
Seem to break loose.

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 11 (to LYSANDER) Pretend like you’re going to
follow me, but then don’t come. You’re a coward,
(to LYSANDER) get out of here!
Take on as you would follow,
LYSANDER
265 But yet come not. You are a tame man, go! (to HERMIA) Stop hanging on me, you cat, you
thorn. Let go of me, or I’ll shake you off like a
LYSANDER snake.
(to HERMIA) Hang off, thou cat, thou burr! Vile thing,
let loose HERMIA
Or I will shake thee from me like a serpent. Why have you gotten so rude? What’s happened
to you, my darling?
HERMIA
Why are you grown so rude? What change is this, LYSANDER
Sweet love? Your darling? Get out, you dark-skinned gypsy!
Get out, you horrible poison. Get out!
LYSANDER
Thy love? Out, tawny Tartar, out! HERMIA
Are you joking?
270 Out, loathèd medicine! O hated potion, hence!
HELENA
HERMIA Of course he is, and so are you.
Do you not jest?
LYSANDER
HELENA Demetrius, I’m ready to fight you as promised.
Yes, sooth, and so do you.
DEMETRIUS
LYSANDER I wish we had a signed legal contract. I can see
Demetrius, I will keep my word with thee. you don’t keep your promises very well. I don’t
trust you.
DEMETRIUS
I would I had your bond, for I perceive LYSANDER
A weak bond holds you. I’ll not trust your word. What? Do you want me to hit Hermia, hurt her,
kill her? Sure, I hate her, but I wouldn’t hurt her.
LYSANDER
275 What, should I hurt her, strike her, kill her dead? HERMIA
(to LYSANDER) Can you hurt me any more than
Although I hate her, I’ll not harm her so. by saying you hate me? Hate me? Why? What’s
happened to you, my love? Am I not Hermia?
HERMIA Aren’t you Lysander? I’m as beautiful now as I
(to LYSANDER) was a little while ago. You still loved me when we
What, can you do me greater harm than hate? fell asleep, but when you woke up you left me.
Hate me? Wherefore? O me! What news, my love? So you left me—Oh, God help me!—For real?
280 Am not I Hermia? Are not you Lysander?
I am as fair now as I was erewhile. LYSANDER
Since night you loved me. Yet since night you left I certainly did, and I never wanted to see you
me.
Why then, you left me—Oh, the gods forbid!—
In earnest, shall I say?

LYSANDER
Ay, by my life,

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285 And never did desire to see thee more. again. So stop hoping and wondering what I
Therefore be out of hope, of question, of doubt. mean.

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 12 I’ve spelled it out for you clearly. It’s no joke. I
hate you and love Helena.
Be certain, nothing truer. 'Tis no jest
That I do hate thee and love Helena. HERMIA
Oh, no! (to HELENA) You trickster, you snake!
HERMIA You thief! What, did you sneak in at night and
O me! steal my love’s heart from him?
290 (to HELENA) You juggler! You canker-blossom!
You thief of love! What, have you come by night HELENA
And stol'n my love’s heart from him? Oh, that’s very nice! You ought to be ashamed of
yourself! You’re going to make me mad enough
HELENA to answer you? Damn you, you faker, you
Fine, i' faith! puppet!

Have you no modesty, no maiden shame, HERMIA
No touch of bashfulness? What, will you tear “Puppet”? Why “puppet”?—Oh, I see where this
295 Impatient answers from my gentle tongue? is going. She’s talking about our difference in
Fie, fie! You counterfeit, you puppet, you! height. She’s paraded in front of him to show off
how tall she is. She won him over with her
HERMIA height.—Does he have such a high opinion of
“Puppet”? Why so?—Ay, that way goes the game. you because I’m so short? Is that it? So how
Now I perceive that she hath made compare short am I, you painted barber pole? Tell me.
Between our statures. She hath urged her height, How short am I? I’m not too short to gouge your
300 And with her personage, her tall personage, eyes out with my fingernails.
Her height, forsooth, she hath prevailed with him.—
And are you grown so high in his esteem HELENA
Because I am so dwarfish and so low? (to LYSANDER and DEMETRIUS) Please don’t
How low am I, thou painted maypole? Speak. let her hurt me, gentlemen, however much you
305 How low am I? I am not yet so low want to tease me. I never was much good with
But that my nails can reach unto thine eyes. insults. I’m not mean and catty like her. I’m a nice
shy girl. Please don’t let her hit me. Maybe you
HELENA think that because she’s shorter than me I can
(to LYSANDER and DEMETRIUS) take her.
I pray you, though you mock me, gentlemen,
Let her not hurt me. I was never cursed.
310 I have no gift at all in shrewishness.
I am a right maid for my cowardice.
Let her not strike me. You perhaps may think,
Because she is something lower than myself,
That I can match her.

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 13 HERMIA
“Shorter!” See, she’s doing it again!
HERMIA
“Lower”? Hark, again! HELENA
Good Hermia, please don’t act so bitter toward
HELENA me. I always loved you, Hermia, and gave you
315 Good Hermia, do not be so bitter with me. advice. I never did anything to hurt you—except
once, when I told Demetrius that you planned to
I evermore did love you, Hermia, sneak off into this forest. And I only did that
Did ever keep your counsels, never wronged you— because I loved Demetrius so much. He followed
Save that, in love unto Demetrius, you. And I followed him because I loved him. But
I told him of your stealth unto this wood. he told me to get lost and threatened to hit me,
320 He followed you. For love I followed him. kick me—even kill me. Now just let me go quietly
But he hath chid me hence and threatened me back to Athens. I’ll carry my mistakes back with
To strike me, spurn me—nay, to kill me too.
And now, so you will let me quiet go,
To Athens will I bear my folly back

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325 And follow you no further. Let me go. me. I won’t follow you anymore. Please let me
You see how simple and how fond I am. go. You see how naïve and foolish I’ve been.

HERMIA HERMIA
Why, get you gone! Who is ’t that hinders you? Well, get out of here then! What’s keeping you?

HELENA HELENA
A foolish heart, that I leave here behind. My stupid heart, which I’m leaving behind here.

HERMIA HERMIA
What, with Lysander? What, you’re leaving it with Lysander?

HELENA HELENA
With Demetrius. No, with Demetrius.

LYSANDER LYSANDER
330 Be not afraid. She shall not harm thee, Helena. Don’t be afraid. She can’t hurt you, Helena.

DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS
(to LYSANDER) (to LYSANDER) That’s right, Hermia won’t hurt
No, sir, she shall not, though you take her part. Helena even if you try to help her.

HELENA HELENA
Oh, when she’s angry, she is keen and shrewd! Oh, when you get her angry, she’s a good
She was a vixen when she went to school. fighter, and vicious too. She was a hellcat in
335 And though she be but little, she is fierce. school. And she’s fierce, even though she’s little.

HERMIA HERMIA
“Little” again? Nothing but “low” and “little”!— “Little” again? Nothing but “little” and “short”!—
Why will you suffer her to flout me thus? Why are you letting her insult me like this? Let
Let me come to her. me at her!.

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 14

LYSANDER LYSANDER
(to HERMIA) Get you gone, you dwarf, (to HERMIA) Get lost, you dwarf, you tiny little
340 You minimus of hindering knotgrass made, weed, you scrap, you acorn!
You bead, you acorn!
DEMETRIUS
DEMETRIUS You’re doing too much to defend a woman who
You are too officious wants nothing to do with you. Leave Hermia
alone. Don’t talk about Helena. Don’t take
In her behalf that scorns your services. Helena’s side. If you continue treating Hermia so
Let her alone. Speak not of Helena. badly, you’ll pay for it.
Take not her part. For if thou dost intend
345 Never so little show of love to her, LYSANDER
Thou shalt aby it. Hermia’s not holding onto me anymore. Follow
me if you’re brave enough, and we’ll fight over
LYSANDER Helena.
Now she holds me not.
DEMETRIUS
Now follow, if thou darest, to try whose right, “Follow”? No, I’ll walk right next to you, side by
Of thine or mine, is most in Helena. side.

DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS and LYSANDER exit.
“Follow”? Nay, I’ll go with thee, cheek by jowl.
HERMIA
Exeunt LYSANDER and DEMETRIUS All this fighting is because of you. Stay where
you are.
HERMIA HELENA
350 You, mistress, all this coil is long of you. I’m not sticking around here any more. I don’t
trust you. You might be a better fighter than I am,
Nay, go not back. but my legs are longer and I can run away faster.

HELENA
I will not trust you, I,

Nor longer stay in your curst company.
Your hands than mine are quicker for a fray.

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My legs are longer though, to run away. HELENA exits.
Exit HELENA
HERMIA
HERMIA I just can’t believe any of this. I don’t know what
355 I am amazed and know not what to say. to say.

Exit HERMIA HERMIA exits.
OBERON
(to ROBIN) This is thy negligence. Still thou OBERON
mistakest, (to ROBIN) This is all your fault. You make
Or else committ’st thy knaveries willfully. mistakes constantly, or else you cause this kind
of trouble on purpose.

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 15 ROBIN
Believe me, King of Illusions, I made a mistake.
ROBIN Didn’t you tell me that I’d be able to recognize
Believe me, King of Shadows, I mistook. the man by the Athenian clothes he was
Did not you tell me I should know the man wearing? So far I’ve done exactly what I was
360 By the Athenian garment he had on? supposed to do—I put the love potion on an
And so far blameless proves my enterprise, Athenian’s eyes. And so far I’m pleased with the
That I have 'nointed an Athenian’s eyes. way things have turned out, since I find all of this
And so far am I glad it so did sort, commotion very entertaining.
As this their jangling I esteem a sport.
OBERON
OBERON As you can see, these lovers are looking for a
365 Thou seest these lovers seek a place to fight. place to fight. Hurry up, Robin, and make the
night dark and cloudy. Cover the sky with a low-
Hie therefore, Robin, overcast the night. hanging fog, as dark as hell, and get these
The starry welkin cover thou anon overeager rivals so completely lost in the woods
With drooping fog as black as Acheron, that they can’t run into each other. Imitate
And lead these testy rivals so astray Lysander’s voice and egg Demetrius on with
370 As one come not within another’s way. insults. Then rant for a while in Demetrius’s
Like to Lysander sometime frame thy tongue, voice, and egg Lysander on. That way you’ll get
Then stir Demetrius up with bitter wrong. them away from each other until they’re so
And sometime rail thou like Demetrius. exhausted that they’ll sleep like the
And from each other look thou lead them thus, dead. (OBERON gives a new flower
375 Till o'er their brows death-counterfeiting sleep to ROBIN) When they’re asleep, crush some of
With leaden legs and batty wings doth creep. this flower’s juice into Lysander’s eyes. The
(gives ROBIN another flower) flower’s juice has the power to erase all the
Then crush this herb into Lysander’s eye, damage that’s been done to his eyes, and to
Whose liquor hath this virtuous property make him see normally, the way he used to.
380 To take from thence all error with his might When they wake up, all this trouble and conflict
And make his eyeballs roll with wonted sight. will seem like a dream or a meaningless vision.
When they next wake, all this derision Then the lovers will go back to Athens, united
Shall seem a dream and fruitless vision. together until death. While you’re busy with that,
And back to Athens shall the lovers wend, I’ll go see Queen Titania and ask her once again
385 With league whose date till death shall never end. for the Indian boy. And then I’ll undo the spell
Whiles I in this affair do thee employ, that I cast over her, so she won’t be in love with
I’ll to my queen and beg her Indian boy. that monster anymore. Then everything will be
And then I will her charmèd eye release peaceful again.
From monster’s view, and all things shall be peace.

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 16 ROBIN
We’ve got to act fast, my lord of the fairies.
ROBIN
390 My fairy lord, this must be done with haste.

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For night’s swift dragons cut the clouds full fast, Night’s fading quickly, and in the distance the
And yonder shines Aurora’s harbinger, morning star is shining, warning us that dawn is
At whose approach, ghosts, wandering here and coming. At dawn, the ghosts that have been
there, wandering around all night go home to the
395 Troop home to churchyards. Damnèd spirits all, graveyards. The souls of people who weren’t
That in crossways and floods have burial, buried in holy ground, but instead lie rotting by
Already to their wormy beds are gone. the side of the road or at the bottom of a river,
For fear lest day should look their shames upon, have already gone back to their wormy graves.
They willfully themselves exile from light They weren’t buried in a real graveyard because
And must for aye consort with black-browed night. they committed suicide, and they don’t want their
shame to be seen in daylight, so they avoid
OBERON sunlight and stay forever in the darkness of night.
400 But we are spirits of another sort.
OBERON
I with the morning’s love have oft made sport, But we’re not like that. We’re a different kind of
And like a forester the groves may tread spirit, and we don’t have to run away from the
Even till the eastern gate, all fiery red, sunlight. I like the morning. I often wander
Opening on Neptune with fair blessèd beams, around in the woods like a forest ranger until the
405 Turns into yellow gold his salt green streams. sun rises in the fiery red sky over the ocean,
But notwithstanding, haste. Make no delay. turning the salty green water to gold. But you
We may effect this business yet ere day. should hurry anyway. Don’t delay. We still have
time to get all of this done before daybreak.
Exit OBERON
OBERON exits.
ROBIN
Up and down, up and down, ROBIN
I will lead them up and down. Up and down, up and down,
I am feared in field and town. I will lead them up and down.
Goblin, lead them up and down. The people fear me in the country and the town.
Goblin, lead them up and down.
Here comes one. Here comes one of them now.

Enter LYSANDER LYSANDER enters.

LYSANDER LYSANDER
Where art thou, proud Demetrius? Speak thou now. Where are you, Demetrius, you arrogant
bastard? Say something.

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 17

ROBIN ROBIN
410 (as DEMETRIUS) (in DEMETRIUS’s voice) I’m over here, you
villain, with my sword out and ready to fight.
Here, villain. Drawn and ready. Where art thou? Where are you?
LYSANDER
LYSANDER I’m coming.
I will be with thee straight. ROBIN
ROBIN (in DEMETRIUS’s voice) Let’s go to a flatter area
(as DEMETRIUS) Follow me then where we can fight more easily.
To plainer ground.
LYSANDER exits.
Exit LYSANDER
DEMETRIUS enters.
Enter DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS
DEMETRIUS Lysander, say something! You coward, did you
run away from me? Say something! Are you
Lysander, speak again! behind some bush? Where are you hiding?
415 Thou runaway, thou coward, art thou fled?
ROBIN
Speak! In some bush? Where dost thou hide thy (in LYSANDER’s voice) You coward, are you
head?
ROBIN
(as LYSANDER) Thou coward, art thou bragging to

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the stars, bragging to the stars and telling the bushes that
Telling the bushes that thou look’st for wars, you want a fight, but then you won’t come and
420 And wilt not come? Come, recreant. Come, thou fight me? Come here, you coward! Come here,
child! you child! I’ll beat you with a stick. It would be
I’ll whip thee with a rod. He is defiled shameful to fight you with a sword, the way I
That draws a sword on thee. would fight with a real man.

DEMETRIUS DEMETRIUS
Yea, art thou there? Are you there?

ROBIN ROBIN
(as LYSANDER) (in LYSANDER’s voice) Follow my voice. This
Follow my voice. We’ll try no manhood here. isn’t a good place to fight.

Exeunt They exit.

Enter LYSANDER LYSANDER enters.

LYSANDER LYSANDER
He goes before me and still dares me on. He’s walking ahead of me, and he keeps daring
425 When I come where he calls, then he is gone. me to follow him. When I reach the place he’s
The villain is much lighter-heeled than I. calling from, he disappears. This villain is much
I followed fast, but faster he did fly, quicker than I am. I ran after him fast, but he ran
That fallen am I in dark uneven way, away from me faster, so that now here I am in
some dark part of the forest where the ground is
uneven.

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 18

And here will rest me. I’ll rest here. (he lies down) I hope the pleasant
430 (lies down) daytime comes soon! As soon as the gray light of
early morning appears, I’ll find Demetrius and get
Come, thou gentle day! my revenge for this insult.
For if but once thou show me thy grey light,
I’ll find Demetrius and revenge this spite. LYSANDER lies down and falls
(sleeps) asleep. ROBINand DEMETRIUS enter.

Enter ROBIN and DEMETRIUS ROBIN
(in LYSANDER’s voice) Ha, ha, ha! Hey, You
ROBIN coward, why aren’t you coming?
(as LYSANDER to DEMETRIUS)
435 Ho, ho, ho! Coward, why comest thou not? DEMETRIUS
DEMETRIUS Wait for me, if you’re not too scared! I know
Abide me, if thou darest! For well I wot that’s why you’re running away from me,
Thou runn’st before me, shifting every place, constantly changing places—you’re afraid to
And darest not stand nor look me in the face. stand still and wait for me. You’re scared to look
Where art thou now? me in the eye. Where are you now?

ROBIN ROBIN
440 (as LYSANDER) Come hither. I am here. (in LYSANDER’s voice) Come here. I’m over
here.
DEMETRIUS
Nay, then, thou mock’st me. Thou shalt buy this dear DEMETRIUS
If ever I thy face by daylight see. No, you’re just taunting me. You’ll pay for this if I
Now go thy way. Faintness constraineth me ever see you face-to-face in the daylight. Go
To measure out my length on this cold bed. wherever you want. I’m exhausted; I need to lie
445 By day’s approach look to be visited. down and sleep on this cold ground. But watch
(lies down and sleeps) out. I’ll find you at dawn. (DEMETRIUS lies down
and sleeps)
Enter HELENA
HELENA enters.

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HELENA HELENA
O weary night, O long and tedious night, Oh, what a long, tedious, exhausting night! I wish
Abate thy hours. Shine comforts from the east, it would end. I wish the comforting light of day
That I may back to Athens by daylight would shine so I can go back to Athens and get
450 From these that my poor company detest. away from these people who hate me so much. I
And sleep, that sometimes shuts up sorrow’s eye, hope I’ll be able to sleep and escape my troubles
Steal me awhile from mine own company. for a while. People can sometimes forget their
(lies down and sleeps) difficulties when they’re asleep.(HELENA lies
down and sleeps)

Act 3, Scene 2, Page 19

ROBIN ROBIN
Yet but three? Come one more. Only three so far? We’re still waiting for one
Two of both kinds make up four. more. Two of both kinds makes four. Ah, here
Here she comes, cursed and sad. she comes, angry and sad. Cupid is a bad boy
Cupid is a knavish lad for making poor women go crazy like this.
Thus to make poor females mad.
HERMIA enters.
Enter HERMIA HERMIA
I’ve never been more exhausted or upset. I’m all
HERMIA wet from the dew and scratched up by thorns,
Never so weary, never so in woe, and I can’t crawl any farther. I just can’t go on.
455 Bedabbled with the dew and torn with briers, My legs can’t hold themselves up. I’ll sleep here
I can no further crawl, no further go. until morning. If they do fight, I hope Lysander is
My legs can keep no pace with my desires. safe! (HERMIA lies down and sleeps)
Here will I rest me till the break of day.
Heavens shield Lysander if they mean a fray! ROBIN
460 (lies down and sleeps) Sleep well there on the ground. I’ll cure you,
gentle lover, by putting this medicine on your
ROBIN eyes. (ROBIN puts the nectar of the flower
On the ground onLYSANDER’s eyelids) When you wake you
Sleep sound. will be truly delighted to see the woman you once
I’ll apply loved. And when you wake up, you’ll be a
To your eye. walking illustration of the well-known country
Gentle lover, remedy. proverb. “Jack will have Jill and everything will be
all right.”
(squeezes flower juice into LYSANDER ’s eyes)
When thou wakest, ROBIN exits.
Thou takest
True delight
In the sight
Of thy former lady’s eye.
And the country proverb known—
That every man should take his own—
In your waking shall be shown.
Jack shall have Jill.
Nought shall go ill.

The man shall have his mare again, and all shall be
well.

Exit ROBIN

Act 4, Scene 1

LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA, and HERMIAsleep. DEMETRIUS, HELENA, HERMIA,
Enter TITANIA, Queen of the Fairies; andBOTTOM, with the ass’s andLYSANDER are still sleeping on

head; and the stage.TITANIA enters
fairiesPEASEBLOSSOM, COBWEB, MOTH,MUSTARDSEED; OB with BOTTOM, who still has a donkey’s

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ERON the king behind them, unseen head, and the
fairiesPEASEBLOSSOM, COBWEB,
TITANIA
(to BOTTOM) Come, sit thee down upon this flowery bed MOTH,
While I thy amiable cheeks do coy, andMUSTARDSEED. OBERON enters
And stick musk roses in thy sleek, smooth head, behind them, unseen by those onstage.
And kiss thy fair large ears, my gentle joy.
TITANIA
BOTTOM (to BOTTOM) Come over here and sit
5 Where’s Peaseblossom? down on this flowery bed while I caress
those lovable cheeks. I’ll put roses on
PEASEBLOSSOM your silky, smooth head and kiss your
Ready. big, beautiful ears, my gentle darling.

BOTTOM BOTTOM
Scratch my head, Peaseblossom. Where’s Monsieur Cobweb? Where’s Peaseblossom?

COBWEB PEASEBLOSSOM
Ready. Here.

BOTTOM BOTTOM
Monsieur Cobweb, good monsieur, get you your weapons in your Scratch my head, Peaseblossom.
hand and kill me a red-hipped humble-bee on the top of a thistle. Where’s Monsieur Cobweb?
And, good monsieur, bring me the honey bag. Do not fret yourself
too much in the action, monsieur. And good monsieur, have a care COBWEB
the honey bag break not. I would be loath to have you overflown Here.
with a honey bag, signor.
BOTTOM
Exit COBWEB Monsieur Cobweb, sir, get out your
weapons and kill me a striped
1 Where’s Monsieur Mustardseed? bumblebee on a thistle, and bring me
0 its honey. Don’t tire yourself out,
monsieur. Oh, and monsieur, be
MUSTARDSEED careful not to break the honey-sac. I’d
Ready. hate to see you drowned in honey, sir.

COBWEB exits.

Where’s Monsieur Mustardseed?

MUSTARDSEED
Here.

Act 4, Scene 1, Page 2 BOTTOM
Give me your first, Mr. Mustardseed. Please, stop
BOTTOM bowing, good sir.
Give me your neaf, Monsieur Mustardseed. Pray you,
leave your courtesy, good monsieur. MUSTARDSEED
MUSTARDSEED What would you like me to do?
What’s your will?
BOTTOM BOTTOM
15 Nothing, good monsieur, but to help Cavalery Nothing, good sir, except to help Sir Cobweb
Cobweb to scratch. I must to the barber’s, monsieur, scratch my head. I should go to the barber’s,
for methinks I am marvelous hairy about the face. monsieur, because I think I’m getting really hairy
And I am such a tender ass, if my hair do but tickle around the face. And I’m such a sensitive ass that
me, I must scratch. if my hair even tickles me a little, I need to
scratch.
TITANIA
What, wilt thou hear some music, my sweet love? TITANIA
Would you like to hear some music, my sweet
BOTTOM love?

BOTTOM

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I have a reasonable good ear in music. Let’s have the I have a pretty good ear for music. Let’s hear
tongs and the bones. someone play the triangle and the sticks.
TITANIA
Or say, sweet love, what thou desirest to eat. TITANIA
BOTTOM Or tell me, my sweet love, what you’d like to eat.
Truly, a peck of provender. I could munch your good
dry oats. Methinks I have a great desire to a bottle of BOTTOM
hay. Good hay, sweet hay, hath no fellow. Actually, I’d like a few pounds of grass. I’d like to
munch on some good dry oats. Or maybe I’ve got
TITANIA a hankering for a bundle of hay. There’s nothing
20 I have a venturous fairy that shall seek like good hay, really sweet hay.

The squirrel’s hoard and fetch thee new nuts. TITANIA
I have an adventurous fairy who’ll go seek out the
BOTTOM squirrel’s secret stash and get you some fresh
I had rather have a handful or two of dried peas. But, nuts.
I pray you, let none of your people stir me. I have an
exposition of sleep come upon me. BOTTOM
TITANIA I’d rather have a handful or two of dried peas. But
Sleep thou, and I will wind thee in my arms. please don’t let any of your people wake me up. I
Fairies, be gone, and be all ways away. really want to sleep now.

Exeunt FAIRIES TITANIA
Go to sleep, and I will wrap my arms around you.
Fairies, go away. Run off in all directions.

The FAIRIES exit.

Act 4, Scene 1, Page 3

25 So doth the woodbine the sweet honeysuckle I’m putting my arms around you just like the
Gently entwist. The female ivy so woodbine tendril gently twists itself around the
Enrings the barky fingers of the elm. sweet honeysuckle, and like the female ivy curls
Oh, how I love thee! How I dote on thee! itself around the branches of the elm tree. Oh,
how I love you! I’m so crazy about you!
TITANIA and BOTTOM sleep
BOTTOM and TITANIA sleep. ROBIN enters.
Enter ROBIN
OBERON
OBERON Welcome, good Robin. Do you see this sweet
Welcome, good Robin. Seest thou this sweet sight? sight? Now I’m starting to pity Titania for being so
30 Her dotage now I do begin to pity. infatuated. I ran into her recently at the edge of
For, meeting her of late behind the wood, the forest, looking for sweet presents for this
Seeking sweet favors from this hateful fool, hateful idiot, and I scolded her and argued with
I did upbraid her and fall out with her. her. She had put a wreath of fresh, fragrant
For she his hairy temples then had rounded flowers around his hairy forehead, and the drops
35 With a coronet of fresh and fragrant flowers, of dew that lay in the center of the flowers made
And that same dew, which sometime on the buds the flowers look like they were crying with shame
Was wont to swell like round and orient pearls, to be decorating the head of that ugly jackass.
Stood now within the pretty flowerets' eyes When I had taunted her as much as I wanted to,
Like tears that did their own disgrace bewail. and she begged me very nicely to leave her
40 When I had at my pleasure taunted her alone, I asked her for the stolen Indian child. She
And she in mild terms begged my patience, said yes right away, and sent a fairy to bring him
I then did ask of her her changeling child, to my home in Fairyland. And now that I have the
Which straight she gave me and her fairy sent boy, I’ll undo the spell that makes her vision so
To bear him to my bower in Fairyland. disgustingly wrong. And, gentle Puck, take this
45 And now I have the boy, I will undo transformed ass’s head off of the head of that
This hateful imperfection of her eyes. Athenian man, so that when he wakes up at the
And, gentle Puck, take this transformèd scalp same time as the rest of them do, they can all go
From off the head of this Athenian swain, back to Athens. They’ll only remember the events
That, he awaking when the other do,

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50 May all to Athens back again repair of tonight as a very unpleasant dream. But first I’ll
And think no more of this night’s accidents release the fairy queen from the spell.
But as the fierce vexation of a dream.
But first I will release the fairy queen. (OBERON squeezes the juice from the second
flower into TITANIA’s eyes)
(squeezing flower juice into TITANIA’s eyes)

Act 4, Scene 1, Page 4

Be as thou wast wont to be. Be like you used to be, and see like you used to
55 See as thou wast wont to see. see. This bud belongs to Diana, the goddess of
virginity, and it has the power to undo the effects
Dian’s bud o'er Cupid’s flower of Cupid’s flower. Now, Titania, wake up, my
Hath such force and blessèd power. sweet queen.
Now, my Titania, wake you, my sweet queen.
TITANIA
TITANIA (waking up) Oberon, I’ve had such a strange
(waking) My Oberon, what visions have I seen! dream! I dreamed I was in love with an ass.
60 Methought I was enamored of an ass.
OBERON
OBERON There’s your boyfriend, sleeping right over there.
There lies your love.
TITANIA
TITANIA How did this happen? Oh, I hate looking at his
How came these things to pass? face now!

Oh, how mine eyes do loathe his visage now! OBERON
Be quiet for a while.—Robin, take off his donkey
OBERON head.—Titania, get the fairies to play some
Silence awhile.—Robin, take off this head.— music, and make these five people sleep more
Titania, music call, and strike more dead soundly than humans have ever slept before.
65 Than common sleep of all these five the sense.
TITANIA
TITANIA Music! Play the kind of music that puts people to
Music, ho! Music such as charmeth sleep! sleep.

Music The music plays.

ROBIN ROBIN
(taking the ass’s head off BOTTOM) (removing the ass’s head from BOTTOM) When
Now when thou wakest, with thine own fool’s eyes you wake up, see things with your own foolish
peep. eyes again.

OBERON OBERON
Sound, music!—Come, my queen, take hands with Play the music.—Take my hands, my queen, and
70 me, we’ll lull these people to sleep with our soft
And rock the ground whereon these sleepers be. dancing. (he dances with TITANIA) Now that you
(dances with TITANIA) and I are friends again, we can dance for Duke
Now thou and I are new in amity, Theseus tomorrow at midnight, and bless his
And will tomorrow midnight solemnly marriage and his marriage bed. These other
75 Dance in Duke Theseus' house triumphantly, lovers will get married alongside him, and they’ll
And bless it to all fair prosperity. all be in high spirits.
There shall the pairs of faithful lovers be
Wedded, with Theseus, all in jollity.

Act 4, Scene 1, Page 5 ROBIN
Listen, Fairy King. I can hear the lark singing.
ROBIN Morning’s here.
Fairy King, attend, and mark.
I do hear the morning lark. OBERON
OBERON

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80 Then, my queen, in silence sad, In that case, my queen, let’s travel silently and
Trip we after the night’s shade. solemnly across the globe to where it’s still night,
We the globe can compass soon circling the earth faster than the moon does.
Swifter than the wandering moon.
TITANIA
TITANIA While we’re walking, you can tell me how I ended
Come, my lord, and in our flight up sleeping on the ground with these humans
85 Tell me how it came this night last night.
That I sleeping here was found
With these mortals on the ground. OBERON, TITANIA, and ROBIN exit.

Exeunt OBERON, TITANIA, and ROBIN A hunting horn blows. THESEUS enters with his
servants, EGEUS and HIPPOLYTA.
Wind horn within Enter THESEUS and all his
train,EGEUS, and HIPPOLYTA THESEUS
One of you go find the forest ranger. Since we’re
THESEUS done with the May Day rites and it’s still so early
Go, one of you, find out the forester. in the morning, my love will have a chance to
For now our observation is performed. hear the beautiful music of my hunting dogs
90 And since we have the vaward of the day, barking as they chase their prey. Unleash the
My love shall hear the music of my hounds. dogs in the western valley. Let them go. Now go
Uncouple in the western valley. Let them go. find the forest ranger.
Dispatch, I say, and find the forester.
A servant exits.
Exit one of the train
My beautiful queen, we’ll go up the mountain and
We will, fair queen, up to the mountain’s top, listen to the hounds as their barking echoes in
95 And mark the musical confusion the cliffs and sounds like music.

Of hounds and echo in conjunction. HIPPOLYTA
I was with the heroes Hercules and Cadmus
HIPPOLYTA once, when their Spartan hunting dogs cornered
I was with Hercules and Cadmus once, a bear. I’d never heard such impressive barking
When in a wood of Crete they bayed the bear before.
With hounds of Sparta. Never did I hear
100 Such gallant chiding. For, besides the groves,

Act 4, Scene 1, Page 6 The forests, the skies, the mountains, everything
around us seemed to echo the barks of the
The skies, the fountains, every region near hounds. I’d never heard such raucous music,
Seemed all one mutual cry. I never heard such pleasant thunder.
So musical a discord, such sweet thunder.
THESEUS
THESEUS My dogs are bred from Spartan hounds. They
My hounds are bred out of the Spartan kind, have the same folds of flesh around their
105 So flewed, so sanded, and their heads are hung mouths, the same sandy-colored fur, and
With ears that sweep away the morning dew, hanging ears that brush the morning dew off the
Crook-kneed, and dew-lapped like Thessalian bulls, grass. They have crooked knees and folds of
Slow in pursuit, but matched in mouth like bells, skin under their necks, just like the Spartan
Each under each. A cry more tunable hounds. They’re not very fast in the chase, but
110 Was never hollaed to, nor cheered with horn, their barking sounds like bells ringing. Each bark
In Crete, in Sparta, nor in Thessaly. is perfectly in tune with the others, like notes on a
Judge when you hear. scale. No one, anywhere, has ever gone hunting
(sees the four sleeping lovers) with a more musical pack of dogs. Judge for
yourself when you hear them. (he sees the four
But, soft! What nymphs are these? lovers sleeping) But wait a minute! Who are
these women?
EGEUS
My lord, this is my daughter here asleep. EGEUS
My lord, that’s my daughter asleep on the ground

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115 And this, Lysander. This Demetrius is. over there, and this is Lysander here, and this is
This Helena, old Nedar’s Helena. Demetrius, and this is Helena, old Nedar’s
I wonder of their being here together. daughter. I don’t understand why they’re all here
together.
THESEUS
No doubt they rose up early to observe THESEUS
The rite of May, and hearing our intent They probably woke up early to celebrate May
120 Came here in grace our solemnity. Day and came here for my celebration when they
But speak, Egeus. Is not this the day heard I’d be here. But tell me, Egeus. Isn’t today
That Hermia should give answer of her choice? the day when Hermia has to tell us her decision
EGEUS about whether she’ll marry Demetrius?
It is, my lord.
THESEUS EGEUS
Go, bid the huntsmen wake them with their horns. It is, my lord.

Exit one of the train THESEUS
Wind horns and shout Go tell the hunters to blow their horns and wake
within LYSANDER,DEMETRIUS, HELENA, them up.
and HERMIA wake and start up
125 Good morrow, friends. Saint Valentine is past. A servant exits.

Someone shouts offstage. Horns are
blown.LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA,

andHERMIA, wake up.

Good morning, my friends. Valentine’s Day is
over.

Act 4, Scene 1, Page 7

Begin these woodbirds but to couple now? Are you lovebirds only starting to pair up now?

LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA, LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA,
and HERMIAkneel andHERMIA all kneel.

LYSANDER LYSANDER
Pardon, my lord. Forgive us, my lord.

THESEUS THESEUS
I pray you all, stand up. Please, all of you, stand up.

LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA, LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA,
and HERMIAstand andHERMIA get up.

(to LYSANDER and DEMETRIUS) (to LYSANDER and DEMETRIUS) I know you
I know you two are rival enemies. two are enemies. Has the world really become so
130 How comes this gentle concord in the world, gentle and peaceful that people who hate each
That hatred is so far from jealousy other have started to trust each other and sleep
To sleep by hate and fear no enmity? beside each other without being afraid?

LYSANDER LYSANDER
My lord, I shall reply amazèdly, My lord, what I say may be a little confused,
Half sleep, half waking. But as yet, I swear, since I’m half asleep and half awake. I swear, at
135 I cannot truly say how I came here. the moment I really couldn’t tell you how I ended
But as I think—for truly would I speak, up here. But I think—I want to tell you the truth,
And now do I bethink me, so it is— and now that I think about it, I think this is true—I
I came with Hermia hither. Our intent came here with Hermia. We were planning to
Was to be gone from Athens, where we might, leave Athens to escape the Athenian law and—
140 Without the peril of the Athenian law—
EGEUS
EGEUS (to THESEUS) Enough, enough, my lord. You’ve
(to THESEUS) Enough, enough, my lord. You have heard enough evidence! I insist that the law
enough! punish him—They were going to run away,
I beg the law, the law, upon his head.— Demetrius, they were running away to defeat us,
They would have stol'n away, they would,

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145 Demetrius, robbing you of your wife and me of my fatherly
Thereby to have defeated you and me, right to decide who my son-in-law will be.
You of your wife and me of my consent,
Of my consent that she should be your wife. DEMETRIUS
(to THESEUS) My lord, the beautiful Helena told
DEMETRIUS me about their secret plan to escape into this
(to THESEUS) My lord, fair Helen told me of their forest. I was furious and followed them here, and
stealth, the lovely Helena was so in love with me that she
Of this their purpose hither to this wood. followed me.
150 And I in fury hither followed them,
Fair Helena in fancy following me.

Act 4, Scene 1, Page 8

But, my good lord, I wot not by what power— I’m not sure how it happened—but somehow,
But by some power it is—my love to Hermia, something made my love for Hermia melt away
Melted as the snow, seems to me now like snow. My past love for Hermia now seems
As the remembrance of an idle gaud like a memory of some cheap toy I used to love
155 Which in my childhood I did dote upon. as a child. Now the only person I love, and
And all the faith, the virtue of my heart, believe in, and want to look at, is Helena. I was
The object and the pleasure of mine eye, engaged to her before I ever met Hermia. Then I
Is only Helena. To her, my lord, hated her for a time, as a sick person hates the
Was I betrothed ere I saw Hermia. food he usually loves. But now I have my natural
160 But like in sickness did I loathe this food. taste back, like a sick person when he recovers.
But as in health, come to my natural taste, Now I want Helena, I love her, I long for her, and
Now I do wish it, love it, long for it, I will always be true to her.
And will for evermore be true to it.
THESEUS
THESEUS You pretty lovers are lucky you met me here.
Fair lovers, you are fortunately met. We’ll talk more about this later.—Egeus, I’m
165 Of this discourse we more will hear anon.— overriding your wishes. These couples will be
Egeus, I will overbear your will. married along with me and Hippolyta in the
For in the temple by and by with us temple later today.—And now, since the morning
These couples shall eternally be knit.— is almost over, we’ll give up on the idea of
And, for the morning now is something worn, hunting. Come with us to Athens. We three
170 Our purposed hunting shall be set aside. couples will celebrate with a sumptuous feast.
Away with us to Athens. Three and three, Come, Hippolyta.
We’ll hold a feast in great solemnity.
Come, Hippolyta. THESEUS, HIPPOLYTA, and EGEUS exit with
their followers.
Exeunt THESEUS, HIPPOLYTA, EGEUS, and train
DEMETRIUS
DEMETRIUS What exactly just happened? The events of last
These things seem small and undistinguishable, night seem small and hard to see clearly, like far-
175 Like far-off mountains turnèd into clouds. off mountains that look like clouds in the
distance.
HERMIA
When everything seems double. Methinks I see HERMIA
these things with parted eye, Yes, it’s like my eyes are out of focus, and I’m
seeing everything double.
HELENA
So methinks. HELENA
Me too.

Act 4, Scene 1, Page 9 I won Demetrius so easily, as if he were a
precious diamond I just found lying around. It’s
And I have found Demetrius like a jewel,
Mine own, and not mine own.

No Fear Shakespeare – A Midsummer Night’s Dream (by SparkNotes) -50-

Original Text Modern Text

DEMETRIUS mine because I found it, but I feel like someone
Are you sure else could easily come and claim it was hers.

That we are awake? It seems to me DEMETRIUS
180 That yet we sleep, we dream. Do not you think Are you sure we’re awake? It seems to me like
we’re still sleeping, still dreaming. Do you
The duke was here, and bid us follow him? remember seeing the duke here? Did he tell us
to follow him?
HERMIA
Yea, and my father. HERMIA
Yes, he did. And my father was here too.
HELENA
And Hippolyta. HELENA
And Hippolyta.
LYSANDER
And he did bid us follow to the temple. LYSANDER
And he told us to follow him to the temple.
DEMETRIUS
Why then, we are awake. Let’s follow him DEMETRIUS
185 And by the way let us recount our dreams. Well, then, we’re awake. Let’s follow him. We
can tell one another our dreams along the way.
Exeunt LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA,
andHERMIA LYSANDER, DEMETRIUS, HELENA,
andHERMIA exit.
BOTTOM
(waking) When my cue comes, call me, and I will BOTTOM
answer. My next is “Most fair Pyramus.” Heigh-ho! (waking up) Tell me when my cue comes, and I’ll
Peter Quince? Flute the bellows-mender? Snout the say my line. My next cue is “Most handsome
tinker? Starveling? God’s my life, stol'n hence, and Pyramus.” Hey! Peter Quince? Flute the bellows-
left me asleep? I have had a most rare vision. I have repairman? Snout the handyman? Starveling?
had a dream—past the wit of man to say what dream My God, they’ve all run away and left me
it was. Man is but an ass if he go about to expound sleeping here? What a weird dream I had.—You
this dream. Methought I was—there is no man can can’t even describe such a weird dream. You’d
tell what. Methought I was, and methought I had— be an ass if you even tried to explain it. I thought
but man is but a patched fool if he will offer to say I was—no, nobody can even describe what I
what methought I had. The eye of man hath not was. I thought I was, I thought I had—but a
heard, the ear of man hath not seen, man’s hand is person would be an idiot to try to say what I
not able to taste, his tongue to conceive, nor his thought I had. No eye has ever heard, no ear has
heart to report what my dream was. I will get Peter ever seen, no hand has tasted, or tongue felt, or
Quince to write a ballad of this dream. heart described what my dream was like. I’ll get
Peter Quince to write this dream down as a
ballad.

Act 4, Scene 1, Page 10

It shall be called “Bottom’s Dream” because it hath no I’ll call it “Bottom’s Dream” because it’s so deep
bottom. And I will sing it in the latter end of a play that it has no bottom. And I’ll sing it for the duke in
before the duke. Peradventure, to make it the more the intermission of a play. Or maybe, to make it
gracious, I shall sing it at her death. even more lovely, I’ll sing it when the heroine
dies.
Exit
BOTTOM exits.

Act 4, Scene 2

Enter QUINCE, FLUTE, SNOUT, and STARVELING QUINCE, FLUTE, SNOUT,
and STARVELINGenter.
QUINCE
Have you sent to Bottom’s house? Is he come home QUINCE
yet? Have you sent anyone to Bottom’s house? Has he
STARVELING come home yet?

STARVELING