media.ldscdn.org

THE ENSIGN OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LAT TER- DAY SAINTS • JUNE 2011

Priesthood:
The Power of
Godliness, pp. 8,
19, 44

Single in a Family-
Oriented Church, p. 48
Education: My Path Out
of Poverty, p. 60
75 Years of Service and
Self-Reliance, p. 81

MAY NOT BE COPIED

The Sacred Susquehanna, by Glen S. Hopkinson Susquehanna River. Then they were to ordain each other to
the Aaronic Priesthood. (See Joseph Smith—History 1:68–72;
On May 15, 1829, near Harmony, Pennsylvania, John the D&C 13:1.)
Baptist appeared to Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery. Acting
under the direction of ancient Apostles Peter, James, and John, A few weeks later, Peter, James, and John appeared to Joseph
he laid his hands upon the heads of Joseph and Oliver and con- and Oliver near Harmony, conferred upon them the holy
ferred the Aaronic Priesthood. Melchizedek Priesthood, and ordained them to be Apostles (see
D&C 27:12; 128:20).
John the Baptist then directed Joseph that he should bap-
tize Oliver and that Oliver should then baptize Joseph in the

Contents June 2011

Volume 41 • Number 6

F E AT U R E S
22 The True Path to Happiness
Elder Quentin L. Cook

Five keys to happiness.

34 Mom’s Commitment to Modesty
Kelly Ann Petersen

It was the 1960s, and short hemlines and

sleeveless shirts were in high fashion.

36 Questions & Answers
How do I maintain a modest appearance

when appropriate clothing is difficult to find?

40 A Mormon Panorama
James Gordon Holmes

Before there were movies there was C. C. A.

Christensen and his panoramic history of

the Church.

4 44 P riesthood Blessings:

Learning to Trust God

MESSAGES Mark L. Grover

FIRST PRESIDENCY MESSAGE How I realized the importance of priesthood

4 The Blessings of Tithing power in our home.
President Henry B. Eyring
48 S ingle in a Family-Oriented Church:
VISITING TEACHING MESSAGE Advice from One Single

7 Strengthening Families through Adult Brother to Another
Temporal Self-Reliance
Todd L. Goodsell 12
Why the Church is exactly

where single adults need

to be.

ON THE COVER The ensign of The ChurCh of Jesus ChrisT of LaT Ter- day sainTs • June 2011 OUR HOMES, OUR FAMILIES
Front: Restoration of the
Melchizedek Priesthood, Priesthood: 12 D efending the Family in a
by Walter Rane. The Power of Troubled World
Back: Photo illustration Godliness, pp. 8,
by Matthew Reier. 19, 44 Elder Bruce D. Porter
Our duty is to defend the
Single in a Family- family and rear the rising
Oriented Church, p. 48 generation in righteousness.
Education: My Path Out
of Poverty, p. 60 19 The Power of a Righteous Example
75 Years of Service and Jerry Stringam
Self-Reliance, p. 81 I considered general conference a free week-
end until one young woman taught me a
valuable lesson.

E11U00_Cover.indd 3 2/25/11 11:06 AM

J u n e 2 0 1 1 1

30 8

LIVING AS LATTER-DAY SAINTS DEPARTMENTS

20 The Prison & the Dandelion WHAT WE BELIEVE
Andrew D. Olsen
We can choose our attitude. 8 The Priesthood Is the Authority to Act
in God’s Name
28 The Healing Power of Hope Our Heavenly Father governs the heavens and
Name withheld the earth through His priesthood authority.
His love healed my wounds.
WE TALK OF CHRIST
47 Reaching Out to Single Adults
Allison L. Weiss 10 He Carried My Sorrows
What can we do to support single adults? Jane Bleak

TEACHING, LEARNING, SERVING Peace comes as we surrender our will to our
Heavenly Father and rely on Christ’s Atonement.
30 The Heart and a Willing Mind
Elder Donald L. Hallstrom SERVING IN THE CHURCH
Five ways we can give our heart and
mind to the Lord. 39 Blessed by Councils
Elder M. Russell Ballard
BY STUDY AND BY FAITH A family in financial trouble is blessed by
their ward council.
52 The Latter-day Saint Concept of Marriage
President Hugh B. Brown 66 LATTER-DAY SAINT VOICES
This divine perspective, adds glory to Are you prepared to bless others through
the idea of marriage. your priesthood?

GOSPEL SOLUTIONS 70 SMALL AND SIMPLE THINGS
73 Family Home Evening Ideas
56 I Desperately Wanted to Stop 74 News of the Church
Name withheld 79 In Other Church Magazines
How I overcame my decades-
long struggle with pornography. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN
8056
PROVIDENT LIVING Building on a Sure Foundation
Joshua J. Perkey
60 The Power of Education
Suzy Taggy Coelho Caldas Nelsen How a foundation of spiritual witnesses can
My mother said education was the one thing
that could lift me out of poverty. become an unshakable testimony.

64 Making Spiritual Education a Priority COMING IN JULY
Joel Childress
Where was I going to find time for institute? • Choosing Happiness

2 E n s i g n • Saints on Lake Titicaca

• Mi Vida, Mi Historia

AN OFFICIAL MAGAZINE OF THE CHURCH moreOnline
OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS ENSIGN ONLINE
JUNE 2011 VOLUME 41 • NUMBER 6 If you’re looking to get more from
your Church magazine experience,
The First Presidency: check out additional features at
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LEADERSHIP TRAINING
The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: You can watch the Worldwide
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D. Todd Christofferson, Neil L. Andersen SERVING IN THE CHURCH
Do you have a new calling? You
Editor: Paul B. Pieper can find out more about what is
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Golden Jr., Yoshihiko Kikuchi and what resources are avail-
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J u n e 2 0 1 1 3

FIRST PRESIDENCY MESSAGE

By President
Henry B. Eyring

First Counselor in the
First Presidency

THE
BLESSINGS

TithingOF

God’s purpose in giving us
commandments is to bless
us. He wants to give us
eternal life, the greatest of all His gifts
(see D&C 14:7). To receive the gift
of living with Him forever in families
in the celestial kingdom, we must be
able to live the laws of that kingdom
(see D&C 88:22).

He has given us commandments in
this life to help us develop that capac-
ity. The law of tithing is one of those
preparatory commandments. The law
is that we give to the Lord one-tenth
of all our income. It is simple enough
that even a child can understand it.
I have seen children hand a bishop
a tithing envelope that contains one-
tenth of the coins they earned.

One of the blessings that comes
from paying a full tithing is developing
faith to live an even higher law. To live
in the celestial kingdom, we must live
the law of consecration. There we must
be able to feel that all we are and all
we have belong to God.

4 E n s i g n

PHOTOGRAPHS BY ROBERT CASEY There are at least three ways that what the future holds. Whatever our TEACHING FROM THIS
paying a full tithe in this life prepares circumstances may be, things will MESSAGE
us to feel what we need to feel to work out for the best. As we keep • Sometimes the best way to
receive the gift of eternal life. our promises, He will keep His. A
feeling of peace is one of the great teach a certain principle is to
First, when we pay our tithes blessings of paying a full tithe. Those demonstrate it (see Teaching,
to the Church, our Heavenly Father who have kept the commandment of No Greater Call [1999], 164).
pours out blessings upon us. Anyone tithing can testify that the blessing of Consider asking a family member
who has consistently paid a full tithe peace is real and precious. to demonstrate what one-tenth
knows that is true. The blessings are represents. He or she could
sometimes spiritual and sometimes Third, those who pay tithing feel an demonstrate it by separating one
temporal. They are given in the increase in their love of God and of all item from a group of 10 items.
Lord’s time and according to what God’s children. That increase of love To conclude, consider inviting a
He knows is best for us. comes from understanding how the family member to show how to
Father uses the tithes we offer to bless fill out a tithing slip.
As those blessings come, our faith people in this world and for eternity. • “Those you teach will benefit
is increased that God is the source of from each other’s participation”
everything that is good in our lives. It Through His authorized servants, (Teaching, No Greater Call, 63).
becomes easier to see that consecra- He expends the tithes with great care. Invite family members to share
tion simply recognizes the truth that The tithe payer helps the Lord build what they believe President
all of God’s creations are His. It makes temples, where families can be sealed Eyring means by the statement
us feel gratitude that He asks only 10 forever. The tithe payer helps Him send “feel what we need to feel to
percent of what He has already given the gospel to people everywhere. The receive the gift of eternal life.”
us. So we are better prepared to live tithe payer helps Him relieve hunger Consider discussing the three
the law of consecration when it will be and suffering in His own way through ways in which paying tithing
asked of us. His servants. Any of those servants can prepares us to feel what we
tell you how love increased because need to feel to receive God’s
Second, all of us who have paid a tithing was used to bless people. And blessings.
consistent full tithe feel greater confi- so can the faithful tithe payer.
dence in asking God for what we and J u n e 2 0 1 1 5
our families need. He has promised Tithing settlement is months in the
blessings even greater than we can future. I pray that you and your family
receive when we have been faithful will begin now to plan and prepare to
to our covenant to pay our tithes (see qualify for the blessings that God pours
Malachi 3:10). So one of the great out on all those who can declare to
blessings of tithing is confidence in Him that they are full-tithe payers. ◼

YOUTH F irst P residency M essage

Enough Money CHILDREN

By Fabiano dos Santos da Silva I Can Pay Tithing

I met the missionaries when I was 17. At that time my older Paying tithing means giving 10 percent of
brother and I lived together. Our mother had passed away what we earn to the Lord. Look at these three
the year before, and life was difficult. When the missionaries children doing jobs. On the first blank space by
each drawing, write how much you think each
taught me, I could see that this Church was the church I child might earn for the job. On the second line,
had always sought. But the influence of my friends pre- write how much the tithing would be.
vented me from going to church on Sundays.
One time I went to a Church activity during the

week. Seeing all the young people laughing and playing
brought me great joy. The missionaries, with the youth, took
that opportunity to teach me a gospel lesson, and I felt so
good I resolved to be baptized.

But even after I joined the Church, I faced challenges.
I was the only member of the Church in that part of town
and lived far away from the meetinghouse. My nonmember
friends no longer wanted anything to do with me. When
I felt alone, I prayed and felt the love of the Lord.

Each month, I received a small allotment of money from a
fund my mother left. It was difficult to sustain myself with so
little money. But I determined to be obedient. I paid tithing
and also had to pay for transportation to seminary and Sunday
meetings. I didn’t understand how, but at the end of the
month, I found that there had been enough money to do it all.

I know that I have been blessed by paying tithing.
Obeying this commandment helped me gain a stronger
testimony, serve a mission, and recognize blessings so I can
strengthen new members who are facing challenges.

Bonus question: Which of these tithe payers ILLUSTRATIONS BY STEVE KROPP
would receive the most blessings? (Hint: See the last
paragraph of President Eyring’s message.)

VISITING TEACHING MESSAGE

Strengthening Families Study this material and, as appropriate, discuss it
through Temporal with the sisters you visit. Use the questions to help you
Self-Reliance strengthen your sisters and to make Relief Society an
active part of your own life.

Faith • Family • Relief

Developing self-reliance—the ability to care for What Can From Our History
ourselves and our families—is the responsibil- I Do?
ity of every sister. We become self-reliant as we learn Relief Society sisters have always partici-
to love work, as we seek inspiration to find the best 1. How can I pated in the work of saving souls temporally
ways to provide for ourselves, and as we work with and spiritually. Each week as the Female Relief
family members to meet basic needs. help my sisters Society of Nauvoo met, sisters reported on
and their families people in need. Donations of money, goods,
When we are self-reliant, we use our blessings improve in tempo- talents, and time were dispersed to relieve the
and resources to prepare for and avoid problems. ral self-reliance? needy. This foundational work of relieving suf-
Self-reliance, however, is enhanced as we pray for fering has continued to be the work of Relief
the courage to meet with faith the challenges that 2. How can Society through the generations.
will surely come. Self-reliance also enables us to
keep our covenant to care for others. I improve my When the Saints arrived in the Salt Lake
own temporal Valley, President Brigham Young (1801–77)
In Relief Society, we are taught self-reliance prin- self-reliance? counseled sisters to assist those in need and
ciples and skills. Sisters can learn about budgeting, to learn skills that would allow them to take
debt relief, employment qualifications, the scriptures For more informa- care of themselves. He said, “Learn to sustain
and the gospel, teaching others to read and learn, tion, go to www yourselves; lay up grain and flour, and save it
technology, physical health, fitness, addiction pre- .reliefsociety.lds.org. against a day of scarcity.” 3 Under the direction
vention and recovery, social and emotional health, of the priesthood, Relief Society continues to
preventing illness, gardening, food production and NOTES teach self-reliance, to safeguard the family, and
storage, emergency preparedness, and many other 1. See Handbook 2: to encourage personal righteousness and acts
things that will help us become self-reliant.1 of charity, the pure love of Christ.
Administering the
Julie B. Beck, Relief Society general president, Church (2010), From the Scriptures
explains that “providing for ourselves and others is 9.4.2.
evidence that we are disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ. 2. Julie B. Beck, John 13:34–35; James 1:27; Mosiah 4:26;
. . . When [my mother-in-law] passed away suddenly “The Welfare Doctrine and Covenants 29:34–35; 38:30; 44:6
last year, she left evidence of her self-reliant life. She Responsibilities of
had a current temple recommend and well-used the Relief Society
scriptures and gospel study manuals. We lovingly President,” Basic
divided up the pots, pans, and dishes with which she Principles of
had prepared thousands of meals. She left us quilts Welfare and Self-
she had made from old clothing. She believed in the Reliance (2009), 6.
old adage ‘Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do 3. Teachings of
without.’ We saw the supply of food she had grown, Presidents of
preserved, and stored. Particularly touching were her the Church:
little account books in which she faithfully recorded Brigham Young
her expenditures over many years. Because she lived (1997), 231.
providently, she left some money she had saved for
PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY WELDEN C. ANDERSEN emergencies, and she left no debts! Most importantly,
she had taught and inspired many others with the
skills she had acquired during her faithful life.” 2

J u n e 2 0 1 1 7

WHAT WE BELIEVE

PRIESTHOOD The offices and some
of the duties of the
 IS THE AUTHORITY TO ACT IN GOD’S NAME Melchizedek Priesthood:
1. Elders “confirm those
Our Father in Heaven gov- Priesthood are deacon, teacher, priest, who are baptized into
erns the heavens and the and bishop. Within the Melchizedek the church, by the laying
earth. By His eternal power Priesthood, the offices are elder, high on of hands for the bap-
the universe is kept in perfect order. priest, patriarch, Seventy, and Apostle. tism of fire and the Holy
To govern His Church on earth, He Those who hold these offices are orga- Ghost” (D&C 20:41).
delegates a portion of His power and nized into quorums, or groups. Each
authority to worthy male members of office has certain duties assigned to it. The offices and some of
the Church. This delegated authority the duties of the Aaronic
is called priesthood. We see this pat- Keys of the Priesthood Priesthood:
tern of delegated responsibility in the The term keys refers to the authority
New Testament, when Jesus Christ
gave His Apostles the authority to act to preside over specific Church units or
in His name (see Matthew 16:19). jurisdictions. In stakes and wards, for
example, only the stake president, the
This is God’s pattern of government. bishop, and quorum presidents
It is in place upon the earth today. hold priesthood keys. The keys
Those who hold the priesthood are are given by the laying on of
authorized to act in God’s name in hands by a priesthood holder
leading His Church and in administer- authorized to confer them.
ing the sacred ordinances necessary for
salvation, such as baptism, confirma- • Presidents of Melchizedek
tion, administration of the sacrament, Priesthood quorums receive
and temple marriage. Every faithful the keys of presidency and the
Latter-day Saint man, woman, and child administration of spiritual things
needs priesthood ordinances and is (see D&C 107:10, 18–19).
blessed by receiving them.
• Presidents of Aaronic Priesthood
Offices of the Priesthood quorums receive the keys of
There are two divisions of the the ministering of angels and
performing ordinances such
priesthood: Melchizedek and Aaronic. as baptism and the sacrament
The Melchizedek Priesthood contains (see D&C 107:20).
greater authority than the Aaronic
Priesthood. • The President of the Church
holds all the priesthood keys
Within these two divisions are for the entire Church (see
specific offices, or areas of responsi- D&C 81:1–2).
bility. The offices within the Aaronic

8 E n s i g n

2. High priests “administer 3. Patriarchs give patriarchal 4. Seventies preach the gos- 5. Apostles serve as
in spiritual things” and blessings (see D&C 107:53; pel and are special witnesses “special witnesses of the
have “a right to officiate 124:91–93). of Jesus Christ under the name of Christ in all the
in” the offices of elder, direction of the Quorum world” (D&C 107:23).
priest, teacher, and deacon of the Twelve Apostles
(D&C 107:12). (see D&C 107:25, 34).

PHOTO ILLUSTRATIONS BY HYUN-GYU LEE, WELDEN C. ANDERSEN, 1. Deacons pass the 2. Teachers “watch over 3. Priests “teach, . . . baptize, 4. Bishops are presidents
MATTHEW REIER, RUTH SIPUS, CRAIG DIMOND, AND JOHN LUKE sacrament. the church always, and be and administer the sacrament, of the priests quorum and,
with and strengthen them” and visit the house of each as high priests, preside over
(D&C 20:53). member” (D&C 20:46–47). all members in a ward (see
D&C 107:87–88). ◼

“Without the ordinances thereof, and the
authority of the priesthood, the power of god-
liness is not manifest unto men in the flesh”
(D&C 84:21).

For more information, see Gospel Principles (2009), 67–80; True to the Faith (2004), 124–28; and D&C 20:38–79; 84:1–44; 107.
J u n e 2 0 1 1 9

WE TALK OF CHRIST

He Carried My Sorrows

“Surely he has borne our griefs, and carried
our sorrows” (Mosiah 14:4).

By Jane Bleak

ADVERSITY CAN LEAD Iwill never forget the summer and fall our son Michael’s death. She reminded
TOWARD GOD of 2009. On June 9 my father died us that we were not alone when she
“There are those who have after suffering from dementia for wrote, “God is carrying you.” Her letter
met disaster, which almost over 10 years. On June 25 our 22-year- reminded me of the scripture in Doctrine
seems defeat, who have old son died unexpectedly, and less than and Covenants 84:88: “I will go before
become somewhat soured in a month later, so did my cousin. On your face. I will be on your right hand
their natures; but if they stop August 13 my 82-year-old mother had and on your left, and my Spirit shall be
to think, even the adversity open-heart surgery and began a lengthy in your hearts, and mine angels round
which has come to them recovery. On October 18 my 41-year-old about you, to bear you up.”
may prove a means of spir- brother died. On October 31 my hus-
itual uplift. Adversity itself band had a massive heart attack and flat I gained strength by reading a talk by
may lead toward and not lined for eight minutes. The firefighters, Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of
away from God and spiritual paramedics, and a priesthood blessing the Twelve Apostles titled “Trust in the
enlightenment.” brought him back to us. Lord.” He said: “Just when all seems to
be going right, challenges often come in
President David O. McKay (1873– People often asked me how we han- multiple doses applied simultaneously.
1970), Treasures of Life, comp. Clare dled all of these events. My consistent When those trials are not consequences
Middlemiss (1962), 107–8. answer was that we would turn to the of your disobedience, they are evidence
Savior, and He cared for us. He did not that the Lord feels you are prepared
10 E n s i g n leave us alone in our trials. I felt minis- to grow more. He therefore gives you
tered to and carried by the heavens. Truly, experiences that stimulate growth, under-
He “has borne [my] griefs” (Mosiah 14:4). standing and compassion, which polish
you for your everlasting benefit. To get
Comfort also came in the form of you from where you are to where He
family, friends, and members of our ward wants you to be requires a lot of stretch-
and stake. They took loving care of us in ing, and that generally entails discomfort
countless ways. Our 13-year-old grand- and pain” (E­ nsign, Nov. 1995, 16–17).
daughter, Krystal, wrote us a letter after

In Gethsemane, Jesus Christ set a perfect example of trust when He asked His Father WHY CAN WE TRUST IN
that “if it be possible, let this cup pass from me.” But then He said, “Nevertheless not THE LORD?
as I will, but as thou wilt” (see Matthew 26:39–44).
Elder Richard G. Scott of the
Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
helps answer this question in his
general conference talk “Trust
in the Lord” (E­ nsign, Nov. 1995,
16–18).

CHRIST IN GETHSEMANE, BY HEINRICH HOFMANN, COURTESY OF C. HARRISON CONROY CO. He said that questions such as “Why the future, helped me to heal my heavy 1. God knows what He is doing.
does this have to happen to me?” or heart, heightened my awareness of the When we pass through trials
“Why do I have to suffer this now?” lead goodness around me, given me oppor- for His purposes, we can trust
us into blind alleys. Rather, Elder Scott tunities to serve, deepened my compas- Him to help us.
suggests asking questions like “What am sion for others, and magnified my love
I to learn from this experience?” “Whom for family and friends. 2. God’s plan is to exalt us so we
am I to help?” and “How can I remem- can return to live with Him.1
ber my many blessings in times of trial?” Through it all, I have gained a testi-
mony that our challenge is to surrender 3. Overcoming trials is part of
I have resisted the temptation to our will to our Heavenly Father because that plan. As we do so, we
ask, “Why?” Instead, I have asked for only then can we personally be refined gain strength, understanding,
Heavenly Father’s guidance through my and polished in the ways He has specifi- faith, and trust in God.2 
trials. He has blessed me with hope in cally designed for each of us. ◼
Consider sharing Elder Scott’s
Handling Grief talk “Trust in the Lord” with
someone who is struggling.
• We are not left alone in our grief because Jesus Christ—“a man of sorrows,
and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3)—has borne our sorrows as part of NOTES
the Atonement. 1. See Gospel Principles (2009), 10–11.
2. See Gospel Principles, 17–21.
• We can strive to resist the temptation to ask, “Why?” Instead, we can ask for
the Lord’s guidance. J u n e 2 0 1 1 11

• We can accept the challenge to surrender our will to our Heavenly Father.

For more information on this topic, see Proverbs 3:5–6 and Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Sunday
Will Come,” ­Liahona and ­Ensign, Nov. 2006, 28–30.

Those who
honor the
calling
of righteous
parenthood will
find their souls
refined,
their hearts
purified, and
their minds
enlightened
by the most
important
lessons of life.



By Elder
Bruce D. Porter

Of the Seventy

PHOTOGRAPH BY APRIL NEWMAN Defending

THE FAMILY IN A
TROUBLED WORLD

Latter-day Saints have been blessed with revealed truths
 regarding families that remain unknown to the world at
  large. We understand that the family is an eternal insti-
tution ordained by God from before the foundation of the world,
with the potential to continue on forever beyond this mortal
sphere. Happy, loving families, though imperfect and falling short
of the ideal, are the closest thing we have on earth to a small-scale
model of eternity, a tiny seed of unimaginable glory to come.

We also know that gender, as declared in “The Family: A
Proclamation to the World,” is “an essential characteristic of indi-
vidual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” 1 The
differences between men and women are not simply biological.
They are woven into the fabric of the universe, a vital, founda-
tional element of eternal life and divine nature.

The family is intended by God as the great entryway into mor-
tal life. It is central to the salvation of the human race, the per-
petuation of civilization, and the birth and rearing of each new
generation.

J u n e 2 0 1 1 13

In families more than anywhere else children learn seem to have lost their bearings when it comes to under- LEFT TOP: PHOTOGRAPH BY MATT REIER; LEFT BOTTOM: PHOTOGRAPH BY RUTH SIPUS; PHOTOGRAPH OF FREIBERG GERMANY TEMPLE BY
the values, practical life skills, manners, and fundamental standing the vital importance of the family. NICOLE KORB OF COLOR-DIENST KORB; LEFT BOTTOM: PHOTOGRAPH BY JAN FRIIS, © HENRIK ALS; RIGHT: PHOTOGRAPH BY MATT REIER
truths that enable them to rise up and be successful in
the world. They learn the all-important attributes of love, This crisis was foreseen and foretold by ancient prophets
unselfishness, sharing, giving, and hard work that someday who saw our day in vision. Their words of sober prophecy
will be essential for them to form families of their own and warning are coming to pass before our very eyes. Here
and to rear up a new generation in order that the great are a few such prophecies from ancient scripture:
wheel of life may roll onward. So vital is the family to the
cycle of human life and the renewal of each generation The Apostle Paul: “This know also, that in the last days
that it is fair to say that if the family breaks down, every- perilous times shall come.
thing breaks down. If families do not fulfill their divinely
appointed purpose of carrying on the light of truth and the “For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous,
torch of civilization to the next generation, then we can boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents,
throw any amount of money or ideas or programs at our unthankful, unholy . . .
world’s problems, and we will assuredly fail.
“Lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God . . .
The Family Is in Crisis “Led away with divers lusts,
In our contemporary world, in many dimensions, the “Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowl-
edge of the truth” (2 Timothy 3:1–2, 4, 6–7).
family is in crisis. The crisis is both internal to many fam- The Lord Jesus Christ: “And because iniquity shall
ilies and it is external or societal in the sense that many abound, the love of many shall wax cold” (Matthew 24:12).
of society’s leaders and opinion-makers increasingly Isaiah: “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good
evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that
put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!” (Isaiah 5:20).
We live in a day when the love of many, even toward
their own children, is waxing cold; a day when so many
people love pleasures more than God; a day when good is
called evil and evil good. Those who defend the traditional
family, who stand for fidelity and chastity and all that once
was considered wholesome and praiseworthy are mocked
and ridiculed. On the other hand, those who see no prob-
lem with fatherless homes, who advocate abortion, who
fight all attempts to limit pornography, and who seek to
redefine the very essence of what a family is, are praised
and upheld as champions of tolerance. Truly, the world
has turned upside down.
In 1920 the divorce rate in the United States was 8 per
1,000 married women; by 1979, it had reached nearly 23, a
nearly threefold increase.2 It has since dropped slightly,3 but
this is likely due to a large increase in cohabitating couples,
now an estimated 6.6 million,4 whose separations, including
from children, are not recorded in official statistics. By many
measurements, the United States has the highest divorce rate
in the world. Evidence of the toll is that today in America a
heartbreaking 40 percent of all births are out of wedlock.5

14 E n s i g n



One consequence of family disintegration has culture have glorified the pursuit of self: of the
been a rising generation among whom many
no longer seek to perpetuate the cycle of family wholly autonomous individual unconnected
formation that is at the heart of human existence,
and for that matter, at the heart of eternal life. with social or moral obligations, free to pursue
Many young people across our nation, who in
the natural course of life should grow up, marry, whatever ends he or she chooses so long as it
and rear children, are instead trapped in a world
where sexual intimacy is casual, responsibility and does not cause direct physical harm to other
long-term commitments are denigrated, and chil-
dren are viewed as a burden, a distraction from aggrandizing selves.
the pursuit of happiness and personal fulfillment.
They have lost connection with the divine pur- In the mad pursuit of self that prevails in the
pose of mortal life, arriving instead at the sterile
apex of the me generation. world today, many believe that they may make up

At least one secular scholar, James Lincoln Collier, their own rules as they go along, putting on their
recognized the danger of these trends 20 years ago.
Collier traces how in the course of the 20th century, personal concept
selfishness, sexual immorality, and the deterioration
of community values damaged America’s social fab- of morality or “life- Successful families
ric. His foremost concern is for the family: style” like a change require that men
of clothing. Such is and women make
“We have abandoned our children. Between a a violation of divine substantial and
soaring divorce rate and an equally soaring rate law and as such is long-term sacrifices of
of children born to unwed mothers, it is now the doomed to failure. their time, money, and
case that the majority of our children will spend at This is what the Lord
least a portion of their childhoods in single parent
homes—in effect being raised without fathers. A said of those who personal fulfillment in
large minority will spend their entire childhoods
essentially without fathers, and a considerable seek to become their order to dedicate their
number will not even know who their fathers are.
own law: efforts to rearing the
“This is an extremely unusual circumstance—
perhaps unique in human experience. In no “That which next generation.
known human society, past or present, have chil- breaketh a law, and
dren generally been raised outside of an intact
nuclear family. The nuclear family is one of the abideth not by law,
most basic of all human institutions, a system of
doing things so fundamental that until this century but seeketh to become a law unto itself, and
it occurred to very few people that life could exist
without it.” 6 willeth to abide in sin, and altogether abideth in

The disintegration of millions of families has sin, cannot be sanctified by law, neither by mercy,
taken place in part because popular media and
justice, nor judgment. Therefore, they must remain

filthy still” (D&C 88:35).

Yet the messages we constantly hear in media,

entertainment, and advertising sound like this:

“You’re number one.”

“Do your own thing.”

“You’re special.”

“Find yourself.”

Such messages are so pervasive that we uncon-

sciously absorb them and sometimes repeat them.

Yet they are diametrically opposite from the mes-

sage of the Savior, as recorded in similar language

in every one of the four gospels: “He that findeth

his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for

my sake shall find it” (Matthew 10:39).

Happiness through Selflessness and Obedience God has given His children commandments, laws, and LEFT TOP: PHOTOGRAPH BY JOHN LUKE; LEFT BOTTOM: PHOTOGRAPH BY © JERRY L. GARNS; LEFT BOTTOM: PHOTOGRAPH BY JOHN LUKE;
We gain happiness and salvation not by blindly pursu- revelations that define the pathway leading back into RIGHT: PHOTOGRAPH BY © HYUN-GYU LEE
His presence. His laws and commandments are intended
ing our own self and our own will. We gain salvation by to bless us, to uplift us, and to bring us joy. They mark
submitting our will, indeed our very selves, to the will of the path of safety amidst the storms and mists of mortal
God. We must lose ourselves to find ourselves. existence. This means that the strait and narrow path is a
path of divine love, a path laid down by a God of perfect
The family by its very nature is an institution based charity, whose only desire is to bless. To the degree that
upon righteous self-denial and sacrifice. It is not an indi- any human being strays from that path, he or she inevita-
vidualistic or self-centered organization, but a highly coop- bly experiences inner conflict, distress, and loneliness. To
erative and other-centered institution. Successful families leave the strait and narrow path is to leave the one path
require that men and women make substantial and long- congruent with our own eternal nature. When we invite
term sacrifices of their time, money, and personal fulfill- people to lay aside the things of the world and come
ment in order to dedicate their efforts to rearing the next unto Christ, we are inviting them to the one sure path that
generation. Selfishness in any form or degree weakens the leads to lasting joy and inner peace.
bonds that hold families together. The rise of selfishness
in our society is the fundamental underlying trend that To some the very idea of a strait and narrow path will
undermines families and makes successful marriages so seem intolerant of those who choose different paths. By
difficult. Many today find it irrational to devote so much holding up a divine ideal of what family ought to be,
time and energy to the welfare of the next generation, but they claim we are guilty of intolerance toward those who
if this commitment is not deeply rooted in society, civiliza- choose other paths, other standards, other definitions of
tion will decline and perish, while children grow up in a right and wrong. But is this really true?
moral wasteland, confused, unguided, and unloved.

Moreover, the sacrifices that fathers and mothers make for
their children ultimately will result in the greatest possible
happiness for those making the sacrifices. In all of human
experience, there are no joys more tender, no love more
sweet, no fulfillment higher than that found in the family.
Those who honor the calling of righteous parenthood will
find their souls refined, their hearts purified, and their minds
enlightened by the most important lessons of life. They will
rise to far greater heights of happiness than those who engage
in the narrow and ultimately unsatisfying pursuit of self.

In Lehi’s vision of the tree of life, he saw a strait and
narrow path leading to the tree of life, which represented
the love of God (see 1 Nephi 8:20; 11:21–22). The world at
large is not interested in any moral path that is strait and
narrow, but prefers its avenues to be as broad as possible.
Latter-day Saints are often accused of narrow-mindedness
or lack of tolerance and compassion because of our belief
in following precise standards of moral behavior as set
forth by God’s prophets. Let us consider, therefore, what is
meant by the strait and narrow path.

16 E n s i g n



The Shifting Definition of Tolerance convictions in the public arena.
Until recently in our national history, tolerance
Now let us go one step further. Even in its orig-
referred to racial and religious non-discrimination.
It meant civility in the political arena; in other inal and correct connotation, tolerance is surely
words, respecting the right of others to express
their views, even if we do not agree with them. a secondary virtue in comparison with the far
It meant treating all people with decency and
respect. Such tolerance is an important and vital higher virtue of love. Certainly it is good to be tol-
part of our American heritage.
erant of those who are different than we are, treat-
Today, however, the world is in danger of
abandoning all sense of absolute right or wrong, ing them with kindness and civility. But love, or
all morality and virtue, replacing them with an
all-encompassing “tolerance” that no longer charity, is the highest of all, and it is far better to
means what it once meant. An extreme definition
of tolerance is now widespread that implicitly or genuinely love those with whom we differ. When
explicitly endorses the right of every person to
choose their own morality, even their own “truth,” we truly love all of
as though morality and truth were mere matters
of personal preference. This extreme tolerance God’s children in a God has given His
culminates in a refusal to recognize any fixed Christlike way, we children commandments,
standards or draw moral distinctions of any kind. will desire to bring laws, and revelations
Few dare say no to the “almighty self” or suggest them unto Christ, that define the pathway
that some so-called “lifestyles” may be destructive, the fountain of all
contrary to higher law, or simply wrong.
happiness. This leading back into His
When tolerance is so inflated out of all propor-
tions, it means the death of virtue, for the essence of means proclaiming presence. His laws and
morality is to draw clear distinctions between right
and wrong. All virtue requires saying no firmly and the truth, defend- commandments are
courageously to all that is morally bankrupt. ing that which is intended to bless us,
right, and in a mild to uplift us, and to
Curiously enough, this new modern tolerance voice inviting all bring us joy.
is often a one-way street. Those who practice to walk the path of
it expect everyone to tolerate them in anything
they say or do, but show no tolerance themselves Christ. By defend-
toward those who express differing viewpoints
or defend traditional morality. Indeed, their intol- ing the traditional family, Latter-day Saints bless all
erance is often most barbed toward those of
religious conviction. But let there be no misunder- people whether others recognize it now or not.
standing or deception: the First Amendment right
of free speech applies to religious speech as well So perfect and exalted was Christ’s love for
as to other kinds of speech. Believers of all faiths
have every right to participate in and share their God’s children that He took upon Himself the

penalty for their sins, descending below all things

in the Garden of Gethsemane and dying for us on

the cross at Golgotha. Yet He never compromised

virtue nor tolerated sin in the slightest degree

(see D&C 1:31). He treated the woman taken in

adultery with love and respect, putting her accus-

ers to shame; nevertheless He said, “Go, and sin

no more” ( John 8:11). The Master abhorred sin,

because sin is the enemy of the human soul.

God’s love is sometimes described as

unconditional. It is true that God loves all of His

children on earth no matter how often or how

far they may stray. But while God’s love is all-en-

compassing, His blessings are highly conditional,

including the very blessing of being able to Regardless of what the future may hold, God
feel and experience His love. The further human
beings stray from the path of righteousness, the has ordained that in the dispensation of the full-
less they will be capable of feeling divine love,
because it is conveyed into our hearts by the ness of times, the parents of the Church will be
Holy Spirit. This does not mean that God loves
us less when we stray, only that we, by our given power to help save their children from the
choices and actions, have distanced ourselves
from His love. How wondrous, then, is the gift darkness around them. As the hearts of fathers
of repentance, by which we can be brought
back into accord with His will and feel again and mothers turn to their children, and the hearts
of His love.
of the children to their parents, we eventually will
Regardless of what the Our
future may hold, God has Responsibility witness the rise of a generation refined and pre-
to Defend
the Family pared to meet the Savior at His coming. The tri-

ordained that in the In the fam- umph of God’s kingdom in the latter days will be

dispensation of the ful- ily proclama- a triumph not only of the Church as an organiza-
ness of times, the parents tion, the First
Presidency and tion but of tens of thousands of individual families
of the Church will be Quorum of the
given power to help save Twelve Apostles who by faith have overcome the world.
declare, “We
their children from the warn that the May we as members of the Church rise up
darkness around them.
and assume our divinely appointed role as a
disintegration
light to the nations. May we sacrifice and labor
of the family will bring upon individuals, com-
to rear a generation strong enough to resist the
munities, and nations the calamities foretold by
siren songs of popular culture, a generation filled
ancient and modern prophets.” 7 The Church is a
with the Holy Ghost so that they may discern
small institution compared with the world at large.
the difference between good and evil, between
Nevertheless, the Latter-day Saints as a people
legitimate tolerance and moral surrender. May
should not underestimate the power of our exam-
we arise in faith and in love so as to prepare the
ple, nor our capacity to persuade public opinion,
way for the great millennial reign of Christ, a day
reverse negative trends, or invite seeking souls to
to come when in every village and city of the
enter the gate and walk the Lord’s chosen way.
world, boys and girls will play in innocence,
We ought to give our best efforts, in cooperation
and every child of God know the peace of a
with like-minded persons and institutions, to PHOTOGRAPH BY CHRISTINA SMITH
happy home. ◼
defend the family and raise a voice of warning
Adapted from an address given at a conference held at
and of invitation to the world. The Lord expects Brigham Young University on March 5, 2010.

us to do this, and in doing so to ignore the mock- NOTES
1. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” ­Liahona and
ing and scorn of those in the great and spacious
E­ nsign, Nov. 2010, 129.
building, where is housed the pride of the world. 2. Susan B. Carter, et al., Historical Statistics of the United

States, Millennial Edition, Vol. 1, 688–689.
3. 16.9 divorces per 1,000 married women ages 15 and

older in 2008. See W. Bradford Wilcox and Elizabeth
Marquardt, eds., The State of Our Unions: Marriage in
America, 2009, 75.
4. America’s Family and Living Arrangements: 2009, U.S.
Census Bureau, Current Population Surveys, March 2009.
See Table UC1. This source estimates 6.6 million cohabitat-
ing couples.
5. Brady E. Hamilton, et al., “Births: Preliminary Data for
2008,” National Vital Statistics Reports 58:16 (April 2010), 5.
6. James Lincoln Collier, The Rise of Selfishness in America,
(1990), 246.
7. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” 129.

18 E n s i g n

OUR HOMES, OUR FAMILIES

The PowerofaRighteousExample

By Jerry Stringam “So are you going out with her?” I got up from
I asked. my chair and called
I  n April 1992 my family and I were down the hall to Jase and my
living in Provo, Utah, where we “She said she would like to go,” second son, a newly ordained dea-
had moved from Canada so I could he replied, “but she told me to call con, “Change your clothes. We have
complete a degree in engineering at her back after I get home from 10 minutes to get to the priesthood
Brigham Young University. My son the priesthood session.” With a session at the stake center.” I hurried
Jase, who was 17, had become friends dejected look on his face, he to get ready, and when I came out of
with a young woman named Krista. slunk off to his room. my bedroom, both boys were ready,
and we headed for the car.
On the Saturday evening of gen- Something hit me like I don’t remember the talks very
eral conference weekend, Jase came a ton of bricks. I had well, but I remember that we felt the
into the living room and asked if grown up in southern Spirit. It felt good to be at the priest-
he could borrow the car to take Alberta, nearly 80 miles hood session with my sons. When
Krista out for a milk shake. I tossed (130 km) from the stake we came home, Jase felt good about
him the keys, and he went into the center. No one had expected me or himself, which made me feel good.
kitchen to call her. I could hear one even my parents, who had leadership He called Krista, and they went to get
side of the conversation, which went positions in our branch, to show up milk shakes.
like this: for conference sessions, let alone the In the two decades that have passed
priesthood session. Now someone since that day, the priesthood holders
“Hi, Krista, was counting on it. in our family have not missed a single
it’s me, Jase. priesthood session of general con-
What would my response be to ference. Because a righteous young
I was wondering if my son’s look of sad- woman stood up for her beliefs, our
you would like to ness as he went to family had the opportunity to change,
his room? I knew and we continue to hear the words of
go out for a milk that my decision latter-day prophets and feel the Spirit
would set a in the priesthood session of general
shake.” Silence. precedent for conference. ◼
“You mean after years to come.
priesthood meeting?
ILLUSTRATIONS BY ROGER MOTZKUS
Well, OK,
I’ll call you then.

See ya.”

Jase hung up
the phone and
came back into
the living
room.

J u n e 2 0 1 1 19

THE PRISON & THE N

DANDELI
By Andrew D. Olsen

As a missionary, I learned to face difficulties
with hope and faith instead of becoming a
prisoner of discouragement.

These are the areas I’ll be assigning you to,” our mis-
sion president said when he met his three newest
elders. I felt excited about the first two places he
mentioned but reluctant about the third. It was a town with
four prisons. Later that day, I felt somewhat relieved when
I was assigned to one of the other areas. This reprieve was
only temporary, however, as I was transferred to that town
several months later.

I arrived by bus on a bitterly cold January night. A ward
member brought my companion to pick me up, then drove
us to an old house that had been divided into apartments.
Missionaries often live in humble dwellings, but this was
unlike any I’d seen before. “I haven’t let my bare feet touch
the floor since I got here,” my companion said.

I soon learned why. Parts of the floor were spongy with
decay. Not to be outdone, the ceiling sagged ominously.
Wallpaper was peeling off the walls. Leaky radiators were
hissing. When I opened the old latch-style fridge, I saw
two boxes of breakfast cereal. “That’s how we keep out
the cockroaches,” my companion explained. I was sure
that those who said there were only four prisons in town
had miscounted.

20 E n s i g n



ILLUSTRATION BY GREG NEWBOLD During the next few weeks, almost everything seemed response to my circumstances—without much of a fight.
to go against us. Despite working hard, we found very few My missionary journal shows a remarkable change. My
people to teach. Of those we were teaching, two or three
moved out of town. Adding to our difficulty was the worst negative outlook had been self-fulfilling. As I developed pos-
winter anyone could remember. Icicles from our roof were itive expectations, they also became self-fulfilling. My plead-
five feet long. I defaulted to discouragement. ings changed from silently hoping I wouldn’t be sentenced
to that area to openly asking to stay. “I love these people,”
Apparently I expressed some of these struggles in my I wrote repeatedly, and “I love this place.”
letters to family and friends. In response, I received a letter
that breathed spring into my winter. “Bloom where you’re Soon I saw a connection between my field of labor and
planted,” it said. This phrase helped me realize that I couldn’t these words of the Lord from the Doctrine and Covenants:
blame adverse circumstances for the prison walls I felt rising “I have much people in this place, . . . and an effectual door
around me. Instead, I was building the town’s newest prison shall be opened” (D&C 100:3). Through some of the doors
with my own attitude. that were opened, the blessings of the gospel are now
extending into new generations and even into other nations.
Seeking a change of heart and mind, I turned to the
Book of Mormon. I began to see spiritual parallels between I also saw a connection between the town where I was
my situation and the many accounts of people being freed serving and these similar words of the Lord: “I have . . . many
from prison and other bondage. For example, as Alma and people in this city, whom I will gather out in due time . . .
Amulek prayed for deliverance, “they broke the cords with through your instrumentality” (D&C 111:2). To me, this
which they were bound” (see Alma 14:26–29). And when scripture suggested that in some small way, the Lord’s work
Helaman’s sons Nephi and Lehi were cast into prison, the in that town depended on the missionaries being good
power of God freed them (see Helaman 5:20–49). I didn’t instruments. My earlier attitude had limited my potential as
need anything so dramatic. All I needed was some hope such an instrument. Changing my attitude did much more
and some guidance—I found both in abundance. than improve my personal capacity; it also made me a better
instrument for the Lord to work through.
I also had an unexpected accomplice in my prison
break: a dandelion. Before my mission, I spent a summer The town I once hoped to avoid continues to bless my
doing lawn care, and dandelions had been my enemy. life more than 30 years after my reluctant departure. To
One morning in the mission field, I walked outside and this day, I cherish the friendships. And I still benefit from
made peace. Surrounded by patches of late snow was a the discovery that I can choose to bloom wherever I am
single dandelion. Instead of blooming in rich soil, it shone planted, whenever the season, whatever the challenges.
radiantly from a crack in the sidewalk. “Bloom where As life progresses and greater challenges arise, the prison
you’re planted,” I thought, surprised to find myself admir- and the dandelion still face off against each other from
ing the very flower I’d held in contempt. time to time. But before I get very far with my concrete
and razor wire, I summon this experience as a missionary,
Because of the dandelion’s ability to thrive in almost and the prison walls collapse.
any environment, I adopted it as a symbol to help me
do the same. Gradually I stopped letting difficult condi- “Behold, he did deliver them because they did humble
tions control my outlook. I came to recognize the irony themselves before him; and because they cried mightily
that in this place where so many people were forcibly unto him he did deliver them out of bondage; and thus
denied their freedom, I had been surrendering the doth the Lord work with his power in all cases among
most fundamental freedom—the power to choose my the children of men, extending the arm of mercy towards
them that put their trust in him” (Mosiah 29:20). ◼

J u n e 2 0 1 1 21

THE TRUE PATH TO

Happiness

As we pursue The recipe for “the good life” has been to spend less time “preparing students for PHOTO ILLUSTRATIONS BY ROBERT CASEY, WELDEN C. ANDERSEN, AND JOHN LUKE
the true path debated for centuries. When the careers” and more time “preparing them to
to happiness in Apostle Paul was in Athens on Mars make social decisions.” 3
our families and Hill, he encountered “philosophers of the
professions, I pray Epicureans, and of the Stoicks” (Acts 17:18). As I read these statements, I reflected
we will use our The Stoics believed that the highest good was on what the Prophet Joseph Smith taught:
knowledge and virtue, while the Epicureans believed that the “Happiness is the object and design of our
influence to bring highest good was pleasure. Many Stoics had existence; and will be the end thereof, if we
greater righ- become proud and used the philosophy as pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is
teousness, peace, “a cloak for . . . ambition and iniquity.” Many virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and
understanding, Epicureans had become hedonists who took keeping all the commandments of God.” 4
and freedom to as their motto “Let us eat and drink, for
people all over to-morrow we die.” 1 In the spirit of the statement in the New
the world. York Times about marriage and the Prophet’s
Many in the academic world have long optimistic declaration, I am confident that we
22 E n s i g n pointed to Aristotle’s advocacy of “intellec- can have the happiness that we desire and
tual contemplation” as a blueprint for “the that God wants for us. What must we do to
good life.” A reviewer writing in the New York attain it?
Times Book Review asserted that modern phi-
losophers “have concluded that there is no Be Grateful for Your Heritage
single right balance of elements that consti- Always be grateful for your blessings, espe-
tutes ‘the good life for man.’” 2
cially your heritage. When we are blessed with
An article in the New York Times asserted, goodly parents, we should be grateful. This is
“Marital happiness is far more important the debt each of us owes for our heritage.
than anything else in determining personal
well-being.” The author challenged colleges An old Chinese proverb reads, “When
you drink the water, don’t forget the well
from whence it sprung.” It is clear from the



By Elder
Quentin L. Cook

Of the Quorum of the
Twelve Apostles

scriptures that we are to honor our parents. which they would hope to bestow upon us.
A proverb reads, “My son, keep thy father’s This is a step toward personal happiness.
commandment, and forsake not the law
of thy mother” (Proverbs 6:20). The great Commit Yourself to the Family
German philosopher Goethe put it this way: Second, commit yourself to the eternal

What from your fathers’ heritage is lent, institution of the family as the foundation for
Earn it anew, to really possess it! 5 happiness. In the world at large, many are
choosing not to get married or are delaying
It is clear that we need to be grateful for our marriage. The family is an eternal institution
parents and take positive action to acquire that ordained of God from before the foundation

I assure you that the
joy, love, and fulfill-
ment experienced
in loving, righteous
families produce
the greatest possible
happiness we can
achieve.

of the world. Most people will marry and be such as infidelity or other extreme conditions.
blessed with children. There is no greater President McKay was obviously concerned
blessing in this life than having children. Some that the institution of marriage was in trouble.
of the most poignant passages in all of scrip- He stated, “The increasing divorce rate in the
ture capture the sublime significance of chil- United States today is a threatening menace to
dren in our Heavenly Father’s plan. They are this nation’s greatness.” 7
truly “an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3).
When we look back at what President
When I was in my 20s, President David O. McKay taught, it was truly prophetic. The
McKay (1873–1970) gave a prophetic mes- current editor-in-chief of U.S. News and
sage about marriage and children. He was World Report has chronicled the history and
95 years old and in the last year of his life. consequences that have occurred since then.
He taught that the pure love between a man He reports that “divorce rates have more
and a woman “is one of the noblest things on than doubled since the 1960s,” and births
earth, and the bearing and rearing of children to unwed mothers “have risen from 5 per-
the highest of all human duties.” 6 cent in 1960 to about 35 percent today.” He
explains the results and the adverse impact
President McKay then shared his concern on children. He makes it clear that “the stable
about the increasing acceptance of divorce. In family of two biological parents . . . turns out
1969 California was the first state in the United to be the ideal vessel for molding character,
States that allowed what has been called “no- for nurturing, for inculcating values, and for
fault divorce.” Prior to that time, there had to planning for a child’s future.” 8
be a reason for the termination of a marriage,

24 E n s i g n



The New York Times article con- whom you admire and who will be force for good. A significant challenge
cludes, “Modern societies . . . have an your best friend. I assure you that the is to adhere to the scriptural injunc-
affinity for material concerns and a pri- joy, love, and fulfillment experienced tion to live in the world but not of
mordial fear of moral and social ones” in loving, righteous families produce the world (see John 17). President
and, as a result, they have a “spiritual the greatest possible happiness we can Joseph Fielding Smith (1876–1972),
blind side.” 9 Isn’t this what President achieve. That happiness is the foun- as a member of the Quorum of the
McKay prophesied? dation for a successful society. Those Twelve Apostles, taught that though
who are righteous and are not able we are in the world, “we are not of
Let me assure you that the vast to accomplish this goal are entitled the world in the sense that we are
majority of marriages between faithful to every blessing that our Father in under any necessity to partake of
members of the Church are happy and Heaven has for His children. . . . evil customs, . . . fashions, . . .
successful. For those not yet married, follies, false doctrines and theories.” 10
you should move forward with faith Be Involved in a Positive Way In addition, your contribution to the
and confidence toward the ultimate Third, be involved in the world place where you live is part of your
goal of marriage and family. I would challenge to be an example, share
counsel you to find a righteous spouse in a positive way and be a powerful

the gospel, and live according to the associated with the firm, but its lawyers and all manner of promiscuous and
truths you have been taught by par- were individuals of character and abil- sinful conduct. A concerned stake
ents and prophets. ity. After a morning of interviews, the president back then asked the leader-
most senior partner and two other part- ship of the Church if leaders should
To accomplish this challenge, you ners took me to lunch. The senior part- encourage Church members to
will want and need to be involved in ner inquired if I would like a prelunch remain in the San Francisco Bay Area.
the world in a positive way. We must alcoholic drink and later if I would like
be tried and tested and found worthy wine. In both cases I declined. And the President Harold B. Lee (1899–
of a greater kingdom. As President second time, I informed him that I was 1973), then a senior member of the
Thomas S. Monson has taught, an active Latter-day Saint and did not Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, was
“Decisions determine destiny.” 11 drinkalcoholic beverages. assigned to address the issue. He met
with a group of priesthood leaders
This is not an easy life; it was I received an offer of employment and told them that the Lord had not
not meant to be. Nevertheless, we from the firm, and a few months later inspired the construction of a temple
know that the Lord will cause our the senior partner told me that the in our area only to have the members
trials to bless us and be for our offer of alcoholic beverages was a leave. His counsel was to:
good. He will give us the strength test. He noted that my résumé made
to stand firm despite opposition. it clear that I had served a Latter-day 1. Create Zion in our hearts and homes.
Righteousness is its own reward, Saint mission. He had determined that 2. Be a light to those among whom
and the scriptures promise us that he would hire me only if I was true to
the reward for righteousness is the teachings of my own church. He we live.
“peace in this world, and eternal life considered it a significant matter of 3. Focus on the ordinances and prin-
in the world to come” (D&C 59:23). character and integrity.
I counsel you to be involved in the ciples taught in the temple.
world in a positive way. In my years in San Francisco,
California, USA, I knew some mem- If we will follow President Lee’s
Live and Communicate Your bers who avoided letting their associ- counsel today, we can successfully
Standards ates know they were Latter-day Saints. be in the world but not of the world.
Invariably, they were drawn into com- However, we must each determine
Fourth, live and communicate your promising situations that could have whether we will look to the world
standards to those you interact with. been avoided had they forthrightly or focus on the temple.
Challenges will come to many of you declared what they believed.
as you seek employment. You will Over our lifetime we will face
need to be wise. My recommendation Be a Light many worldly challenges. One of
would be to let potential employ- Finally, be a light to the people these challenges is that we will find
ers know you have high ethical and that the Church and its teachings are
moral standards, including a commit- where you live. When my wife and I not understood and are sometimes
ment to your family. were starting out as a newly married misrepresented. A few years ago Elder
couple in the San Francisco Bay Area M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of
I learned the significance of this in the mid-1960s, the Latter-day Saint the Twelve Apostles called on Church
early in my career. After finishing my population was relatively small. In members to let their voices be heard
education at Stanford Law School, I addition, the San Francisco Bay Area in defending the faith and correcting
focused on working for a particular law had become a magnet for drug abuse false information. He pointed out that
firm. No members of the Church were it is particularly important for us to
participate in the “‘new media,’ made

26 E n s i g n



possible by the Internet.” 12 In a world with From an address delivered at Brigham Young University–
diverse communications and with members
spread all over the globe, there is a need for Hawaii on April 10, 2010. For the full text in English, visit http://
Latter-day Saints to respond to and defend
against irresponsible and inaccurate descrip- devotional.byuh.edu/node/416.
tions of the Church when they occur. We are
grateful for what has transpired since Elder NOTES
Ballard’s article, and I reiterate his challenge. 1. Frederic W. Farrar, The Life and Work of St. Paul

I am confident that we can attain the hap- (1902), 1:535–36.
piness we desire and that God wants for us. It 2. Jim Holt, “A Word about the Wise,” New York Times
is my prayer that as we pursue the true path to
happiness in our families and professions, we Book Review, Mar. 14, 2010, 12.
will use our knowledge and influence to bring 3. David Brooks, “The Sandra Bullock Trade,” New York
greater righteousness, peace, understanding,
and freedom to people all over the world. ◼ Times, Mar. 30, 2010, p. A23.
4. Joseph Smith, in History of the Church, 5:134–35.
5. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust, trans. Bayard

Taylor (1912), 1:28.
6. David O. McKay, in Conference Report, Apr. 1969, 9.
7. David O. McKay, Apr. 1969, 8.
8. Mortimer B. Zuckerman, “Family-Unfriendly Policies,”

U.S. News and World Report, Oct. 5, 2007, 72.
9. David Brooks, “The Sandra Bullock Trade,” p. A23.
10. Joseph Fielding Smith, in Conference Report, Oct.

1916, 70.
11. Thomas S. Monson, “Invitation to Exaltation,” Tambuli,

Sept. 1993, 4; E­ nsign, June 1993, 4.
12. M. Russell Ballard, “Sharing the Gospel Using the

Internet,” L­ iahona, June 2008, N1; E­ nsign, July 2008, 60.

Be involved in
the world in a
positive way and
be a powerful
force for good.

J u n e 2 0 1 1 27

THE HEALING POWER OF

Sin, divorce, and disappointment
left me wounded. The Savior helped
me through them all.

Name withheld even though this privilege was almost unheard of in my
line of work.
Ialways knew I would come back to the Church. Still, it
came as a surprise to me when the Holy Ghost whis- My next step in the repentance process was prayer.
pered that now was the time. I hadn’t exactly been I had always been taught that Heavenly Father answers
living in a way to invite the Holy Ghost to speak to me. prayers. I turned to Him for help in making the changes
that were needed in my life. With His help, the doors
But the whispering of the Spirit was persistent. opened wider for me to come back.
My parents had been blessed to learn of the gospel in
their teens, not long after they began dating. After their mar- At that time, I had a Primary child’s basic understanding
riage they were diligent about sharing this precious gift with of repentance and forgiveness. When I was taught more
their children. I grew up in the Church, watching my parents fully how the Savior’s Atonement really applied to me,
serve faithfully in leadership callings. In my teens, though, I I learned I could be forgiven for those parts of my life
dropped out, determined that I must experience life on my that were not acceptable in the Lord’s eyes. The words of
own terms to learn if what I had been taught was true. Mosiah 26:29 came to have deep meaning for me:
Still, I never denied that the gospel is true, and a part
of me knew I needed to come back. Despite the worldly “Whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye
lifestyle I was living, I just knew somehow that I would be judge according to the sins which he has committed; and
married in the temple—someday. if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth
When the Spirit spoke to me, I was in my mid-20s living in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will
far from home, in a major city of the country where I was forgive him also.”
born, and enjoying my job as a flight attendant. My parents
believe those spiritual promptings came to me as a result After much sincere repentance, I was able to go to the
of blessings that were pronounced on them by President temple with some friends to do baptisms for the dead.
Thomas S. Monson after my father was called as a mission I found there a few loving people who had known me
president. President Monson promised that they would since my birth. In the temple I felt overwhelmed by a
receive unexpected blessings as a result of their desire to sense of accomplishment. I was worthy at last to be within
serve and their willingness to accept the call. those walls! As a group of youth from another part of the
I was comfortable in my lifestyle—not ready to give country prepared to do baptisms for the dead, I watched
up what I now call “my sugar-coated years,” although I them, hoping they would stay close to the gospel as they
was discovering that there was little substance under the grew older, and that they would be stronger against temp-
sugar coating. A breakup with a man after two years of tation than I had been, because it never stops.
dating opened the way for me to consider a more impor-
tant relationship—with my Savior. One day while I was I had gained an excitement about studying the gospel,
feeling dejected over that breakup, the words came to my and every time I read in the scriptures, especially the Book
mind, “I have to go back to Church.” I began attending of Mormon, I felt an increasing certainty that all I read was
meetings when I had Sunday off, and later I requested true. It was exciting to feel worthy to partake of the sacra-
that I be given every Sunday off. My request was granted, ment each week. For me, the feeling was like being given
a precious gift all over again.

When I was able to receive my own endowments in

28 E n s i g n

HOPE 

BRINGING FOOD, BY BRIAN KERSHISNIK, DO NOT COPY the temple, and then to be sealed to a returned missionary me each time I needed Him, to soothe my aching heart. I
and to move to his country, I felt this was the fulfillment of know now that the Atonement of His Son can help to heal
a dream. this wound too. I also know that the healing has been helped
by the love of my family and the support of good friends that
Unfortunately, part of that dream would soon be lost. In my Heavenly Father has placed around me.
just over a year, my marriage ended. The decision was not
mine, and even though I did not want the outcome, noth- Sometimes I look back and marvel at how He changed
ing I could do would change the situation. my life. Sometimes I still look back and wonder too how
some things went wrong—the things I could not control.
Watching that part of my new life crumble was more pain- I suppose no one would willingly choose the pain and
ful than I could ever have imagined. Divorce was emotionally testing I have gone through. However, through these expe-
shattering. I was alone—in my ex-husband’s homeland and riences, I have come much closer to my Heavenly Father,
far from my family—wondering how to deal with the hurt. and I would not give up any of what I have come to know
There were many tears, and it would have been easy to and understand about His love for me.
become bitter. But I could not, because my Heavenly Father
continued to sustain me as I turned to Him in prayer and by He still sustains me and lifts me up, and with the
attending the temple regularly. He has been there to comfort strength He gives me, I look to the future in hope. ◼

J u n e 2 0 1 1 29

By Elder
Donald L. Hallstrom

Of the Presidency of

Heartthe Seventy AND A
THE
WILLING Mind

In 1951 Masako Kato met the missionaries in her A few months later a young missionary
hometown of Yokohama, Japan. When the mis-
sionaries began to speak of spiritual things, she approached them and suggested they think about
felt something and allowed them to teach her about
the restored gospel. During this time both Masako’s marriage—to each other. This surprised them,
older sister and mother died. She was emotion-
ally devastated but still attended the Church’s little especially Shozo. However, it prompted him to
branch—even on the Sunday after her mother
passed away. During the opening hymn, the power think about Masako in a different way than he
of the Spirit brought her to tears, and she gained a
witness of the eternal nature of life. had before. Not long afterward, on April 29, 1953,

Masako wanted to be baptized, but her father they were married.
would not give his permission. She was of
legal age, but out of respect for her father, she Brother and Sister Suzuki were blessed with
honored his wishes. However, she continued to
attend Church meetings and participate in nine children. Seven of their children served PHOTOGRAPH BY MATT REIER, POSED BY MODEL
Church activities.
full-time missions. Eight married, all in the
The missionaries suggested that it might be
good for her to share the gospel message she had temple. Brother Suzuki has served as a branch
come to know. Seemingly unafraid, she invited
co-workers to attend church with her. A few came president, district president, mission president,
to some social activities, but one, Shozo Suzuki,
also came to Sunday meetings. He had a good president of the Japan Missionary Training
feeling about what he heard, and he consented to
receive the missionary discussions. After several Center, regional represen-
months Shozo accepted the challenge to be bap-
tized. Masako decided it was time to again seek tative, and patriarch. From
her father’s permission to be baptized, which he
gave. On August 4, 1952, Masako and Shozo were Masako’s determined desire
baptized.
to join the Church have

come 54 righteous mem-

bers of the Suzuki family.

Masako and Shozo Indeed, “out of small things
Suzuki. Shozo proceedeth that which is
served as mission great” (D&C 64:33).
president in the
Sapporo Japan These same blessings can
Mission, 1976 –79. be found everywhere the

Church is established. They can even happen in

your own family.

The Heart and a Willing Mind
How do such blessings come? That question is

answered in scripture: “Behold, the Lord requireth

30 E n s i g n



When we live
by covenant
rather than by
convenience,
we direct our
lives toward
our heavenly
home.

the heart and a willing mind; and the willing and From these words we understand that both the
obedient shall eat the good of the land of Zion in heart and the mind must be fully engaged in this
these last days” (D&C 64:34). holy process.

This doctrine is affirmed in the experience of The heart is symbolic of love and commitment.
Jesus with the Pharisaic lawyer who asked him: We make sacrifices and bear burdens for those we
love that we would not endure for any other rea-
“Master, which is the great commandment in son. If love does not exist, our commitment wanes.
the law?
If we love the Lord with all our heart, we are
“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord willing to give Him everything we possess. Elder
thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, Neal A. Maxwell (1926–2004) said: “The sub-
and with all thy mind. mission of one’s will is really the only uniquely
personal thing we have to place on God’s altar.
“This is the first and great commandment”
(Matthew 22:36–38). J u n e 2 0 1 1 31

“Master, which . . . The many other things we give to God . . . circumstances. THE DISCIPLES PLUCKING CORN ON THE SABBATH, BY PAUL GUSTAVE DORÉ
is the great are actually things He has already given us, and I wish to sug-
commandment He has loaned them to us. But when we begin
in the law? to submit ourselves by letting our wills be swal- gest five ways we
lowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving can genuinely
“Jesus said something to Him. . . . There is a part of us that is seek to give our
unto him, ultimately sovereign, the mind and heart. . . . And heart and mind to
Thou shalt when we submit to His will, then we’ve really the Lord:
love the Lord given Him the one thing He asks of us.” 1
thy God with 1. Gain and
all thy heart, Having “a willing mind” connotes giving our constantly nur-
and with all best effort and finest thinking and seeking God’s ture your own
thy soul, wisdom. It suggests that our most devoted life- testimony. Our
and with all time study should be of things that are eternal in testimonies
thy mind” nature. It means that there must be an inextricable should include
(Matthew relationship between hearing the word of God knowledge of,
22:36–37). and obeying it. and love for, God
the Father, Jesus
32 E n s i g n The Apostle James said, “Be ye doers of the Christ, and the Holy Ghost. We should also testify
word, and not hearers only” ( James 1:22). of the glorious gospel plan, the centrality of the
Savior and His Atonement, the Restoration of the
Some of us “hear” selectively and “do” when it is Lord’s Church through the Prophet Joseph Smith,
convenient. But for those who give their heart and and the role of apostles and prophets.
mind to the Lord, whether the burden is light or If you do not feel the power and security that
heavy makes no difference. We demonstrate a con- this knowledge brings, I ask you to study the
secrated heart and mind by consistently following exhortation found in Moroni 10:3–5.
God’s commandments no matter how difficult the 2. Honor priesthood ordinances and covenants.
Ordinances are sacred ceremonies in which we
enter into solemn covenants with the Lord. As
covenant children, we have been promised all
that is required for eternal success if we are true
to our promises. Prepare for the ordinances yet to
be performed in your life, and be guided in your
decisions by the covenants you have made. When
you are evaluating alternatives, ask yourself, “Is
this choice consistent with my covenants?”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum
of the Twelve Apostles has said: “The importance
of having a sense of the sacred is simply this—if
one does not appreciate holy things, he will lose
them. Absent a feeling of reverence, he will grow
increasingly casual in attitude and lax in conduct.



He will drift from the moorings that his covenants with or not accept the counsel of prophets is no more than
God could provide. His feeling of accountability to God deciding whether to accept good advice and gain its ben-
will diminish and then be forgotten. Thereafter, he will care efits or to stay where we are. But the choice not to take
only about his own comfort and satisfying his uncontrolled prophetic counsel changes the very ground upon which
appetites. Finally, he will come to despise sacred things, we stand. It becomes more dangerous.” 3
even God, and then he will despise himself.” 2
5. Establish a life of service. When I was still in my 20s,
When we live by covenant rather than by convenience, I was called to be the bishop of an 850-member ward.
we direct our lives toward our heavenly home. Two weeks before, a partner and I had founded a com-
pany and hired several new employees. At the time, my
3. Root out duplicity. A duplicitous person is double- wife and I had three energetic children ages one to seven.
minded in thought, speech, or action with the intent to The daunting responsibilities to properly care for my
deceive. Such a person often acts one way in public and young family, to assist the Saints entrusted to my steward-
another way in private. Often the purpose of our decep- ship, and to create a viable business seemed impossible.
tion is to hide our sins, but as Jonah learned when he
fled to Joppa, you cannot hide from God (see Jonah 1). As I now reflect on the events of the ensuing years, I
Our deceit will be found out eventually, and the damage am convinced that service to others (most important, ser-
caused may be irreversible. vice to my family) has been one of the great blessings of
my life. Without the continual humility and life perspective
One way to test whether we have “an eye single to the that service engenders, the allure of the world could easily
glory of God” (D&C 4:5) or a secondary eye to the evil of have entrapped me.
the world is to evaluate how we act when we are alone.
What sites do we visit on the Internet? What television pro- By serving others, we emulate the ultimate act of ser-
grams or videos do we watch? What kinds of books and vice offered to each of us by the Redeemer of the world.
magazines do we read? Would we be comfortable doing Service is a way for us to show gratitude for the blessing of
the same activities if others were watching? salvation, which comes only through Jesus Christ.

4. Continually study the doctrine. When we know the No Other Way
commandments of God and “liken all scriptures unto us” Submitting our will—completely giving our heart and
(1 Nephi 19:23), we will change the way we think and act.
mind to God—is not easy. But I am comfortable with, and
Studying and following the counsel of living prophets comforted by, the “great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8).
is vital. Having prophets of God on earth has become so There is no other way. I would not want another way. I
commonplace for us as members of the Church that we testify of Him whose plan it is, God the Eternal Father, and
may underappreciate their profound importance and role. of Him who is central to the plan, Jesus Christ, our Savior
and Redeemer. I bear witness of apostles and prophets,
President Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First whose counsel I gladly follow. With all my heart and mind
Presidency, has stated: “Looking for the path to safety in the I testify of these truths. ◼
counsel of prophets makes sense to those with strong faith.
When a prophet speaks, those with little faith may think that From a devotional address given at Brigham Young University—Idaho
they hear only a wise man giving good advice. Then if his on May 17, 2005.
counsel seems comfortable and reasonable, squaring with
what they want to do, they take it. If it does not, they con- NOTES
sider it either faulty advice or they see their circumstances as 1. Neal A. Maxwell, “Sharing Insights from My Life,” in Brigham Young
justifying their being an exception to the counsel. . . .
University 1998–99 Speeches (1999), 4.
“Another fallacy is to believe that the choice to accept 2. D. Todd Christofferson, “A Sense of the Sacred” (Church Educational

System Fireside for young adults, Nov. 7, 2004), www.ldsces.org.
3. Henry B. Eyring, “Finding Safety in Counsel,” E­ nsign, May 1997, 25.

J u n e 2 0 1 1 33

MOM’S
COMMITMENT TO

Modesty

By Kelly Ann Peterson have to change my wardrobe after I went to the temple. ILLUSTRATION BY DILLEEN MARSH
My mom sewed for me, helped me choose modest
My mom joined the Church after she married
my dad. It was the mid-1960s, and mini skirts, clothing, and told me of her decision years before. When
sleeveless shirts, and short hemlines were the I was in high school looking for a formal gown to wear
fashion. As she learned more about the gospel and espe- to the prom, she took me shopping. We searched and
cially about the temple, my mom knew she would need to searched for something appropriate, and finding nothing
make a decision. in our area, we drove three hours to Salt Lake City. There
we found a beautiful and perfectly modest pink gown. Her
She was aware that her clothing would need to be mod- sacrifice of time showed me that dressing modestly was
est to cover the temple garment she would be wearing. important to her. And it was at that dance I realized how
Going to the temple meant a great deal to her because it important it had become to me as well. I felt like a prin-
meant that Dad and I could be sealed to her and that we cess in my dress. I noticed how uncomfortable some of
could be a family eternally. That is what she chose. the other girls seemed to be in their dresses. Many of them
spent the evening keeping tiny straps on their shoulders
I was less than two years old, so I don’t remember the or tugging at the bodices of strapless gowns. They did not
sealing experience, but Mom told me that it was beautiful. look like they were having much fun.
She also told me that when I was brought into the sealing
room, she could not hold back the tears. When I later married my sweetheart in the Logan
Utah Temple, I didn’t have to change my wardrobe
When my mom came home, she went through her afterwards. Mom had prepared me; I had only one dress
wardrobe and gave away most of her clothing. But she I could no longer wear. She had also prepared me by
considered it a small sacrifice. She knew the blessings of teaching me how sacred and special the garment was
the temple were better than any of those clothes. and what a privilege it was to be able to wear it. I never

As I grew up, she taught me modesty. She wanted me to
understand how to dress appropriately so that I wouldn’t

34 E n s i g n



felt that garments were a restriction; I appreciated
them from the first time I wore them. I knew the
blessings and promises and protection they pro-
vided. It felt wonderful to have something from
the temple that went home with me. And I didn’t
have any regrets about not being able to wear
certain styles of clothing. As my mother had taught
me, the blessings I had were better than any of
those clothes!

Now I am a mother of two beautiful daughters
and two handsome sons, and I am trying to teach
them modesty and its role in preparing for the
temple. Even when they were young, I tried to dress
them modestly. A cute sundress is still cute with a
T-shirt under it. I talk with my children about what
is too short, too tight, and too revealing. I remind
them of the goal of going to the temple and being
able to wear the temple garment.

Many years ago, my mom made that sacrifice. But
as she saw it, she gave up one thing for something far
better. I’m so glad she did. Her personal commitment
to modesty made it so much easier for me. ◼

Questions & Answers

Today’s clothing trends aren’t ILLUSTRATIONS BY DILLEEN MARSH
always modest, but it is still
possible to maintain an
“attitude of humility and
decency in dress, grooming,
language, and behavior.” 1
In what ways can I be modest,
specifically in finding and
wearing appropriate clothing?

36 E n s i g n



As a mother of five daughters, I am THE PRINCIPLE OF MODESTY
  constantly looking for ways to help
them dress modestly while still looking “ Some Latter-day Saints may feel that modesty is a tradition
fashionable. My sewing skills have been of the Church or that it has evolved from conservative,
invaluable in converting sleeveless prom puritanical behavior. Modesty is not just cultural. Modesty
dresses into modest ones. I’ve also found that is a gospel principle that applies to people of all cultures
if we can’t find long-enough shorts, we’ll con- and ages. In fact, modesty is fundamental to being wor-
vert pants into shorts or capris. I’ve made sure thy of the Spirit. To be modest is to be humble, and being
that I’m passing down these values and skills humble invites the Spirit to be with us.”
to my daughters through the Personal Progress Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Modesty:
program so that they can, in turn, adjust their Reverence for the Lord,” Liahona, Aug. 2008, 18; E­ nsign, Aug. 2008, 34.
clothing to meet the standards of the Church.
should not be exposing any skin on your
Other things we’ve done include deciding backside.
that if a skirt does not meet the suggested
length, we just won’t buy it. I also know I have found this to be a good exercise for
that prayer works. Before shopping, I often checking my modesty and hope that it can be
say a prayer that we will find the item we’re helpful to others as well.
looking for at a price that will fit our budget,
and it works! The Lord is mindful of even Linda B. Fielding, Utah, USA
our smallest desires to be obedient to His
commandments. In a world that is ever pushing the bound-
aries of modesty, I have watched my mother
Adrienne Vanderkooi, Ontario, Canada set the example for not only my sisters but
for me as well. While most often we think of
My sister served as a Young Women pres- modesty as only applying to girls, guys can
ident in Alaska for several years. I have choose to be modest also. Mom always eval-
loved and followed her advice for modesty uated what my siblings and I were wearing
for girls and women. She used the “Head using the “arms held high” test—if skin was
Shoulders, Knees, and Toes” method. We all showing around our waist when we lifted
know the song, but it works very well for our arms, we would choose another outfit.
modesty as well. In addition, Mom had to approve any clothes
we wanted before we bought them.
Head: Put your hands on your head. If any
skin shows around your middle, your clothing While my mother was always making sure
is not appropriate. we were modest in dress, she quietly set the
example for us to follow. When my sister got
Shoulders: Put your hands on your shoul- married, for instance, my mother couldn’t
ders. If you can feel bare skin, the clothing find a modest dress. She looked for weeks,
is not modest. but in the end, her sister made a dress for

Knees: Put your hands on your knees. You
should not expose anything at the neckline
of your shirt.

Toes: Put your hands on your toes. You

J u n e 2 0 1 1 37

SHARE YOUR IDEAS her a week before the wedding. It was As members of the Church, we have
probably the most beautiful dress I had  covenanted to take upon ourselves the
An upcoming Questions & ever seen. Another aunt, trying to teach name of Jesus Christ and to “stand as witnesses
Answers feature will focus her five-year-old daughter about modesty, of God at all times and in all things, and in all
on the following question: said it best: “Look, Honey, you can be places” (Mosiah 18:9). Whenever I face a ques-
pretty and modest at the same time.” tion or issue, I try to think of how the Savior
I haven’t been active would respond or act. When it comes to mod-
in the Church for years. I Stephen Larson, California, USA esty, I believe the Savior’s clothing was simple
have sometimes felt like and plain, never detracting from His special
coming back, but I’m Ilike to keep up on the current styles, message or attracting attention to Himself.
afraid of not knowing but I always add my own modest twist
anyone or not knowing as to them. If I see an outfit in the store and For us to be modest, we can dress and act
much about the gospel as think it’s cute but it just doesn’t cover me in the same manner. Is what we’re wearing or
other people. I’m so intim- up enough, I find a T-shirt in a coordinat- doing detracting from the Spirit? Is it putting
idated. Where do I start? ing color to wear under it. A friend who is other peoples’ attention where it ought not to
not a member of the Church once told me be? These are some questions that I ask myself
If you’d like to con- that she likes how I can stay both stylish when selecting my wardrobe. I do enjoy
tribute your ideas and and modest. There is no reason to dress looking nice, but I always strive to stand as a
experiences, please label immodestly when you can make your witness of God, even in what I am wearing. ◼
them “Coming Back to own modest style.
Church” and follow the Brian Fleming, Arizona, USA
submission guidelines Devynn Bohn, Florida, USA
under “Do You Have a NOTE
Story to Tell?” on page 3 1. True to the Faith (2004), 106.
of the Table of Contents.
Please limit responses to MORE ON THIS TOPIC:
500 words and submit
them by July 16. • “Dress and Appearance,” For the
Strength of Youth (2001), 14–16.

• “Modesty,” True to the Faith (2004),
106–108.

• Silvia H. Allred, “Modesty: A Timeless
Principle for All,” Liahona and E­ nsign,
Jul. 2009, 28–32.

• Robert D. Hales, “Modesty: Reverence
for the Lord,” Liahona, Aug. 2008,
18–23; ­Ensign, Aug. 2008, 34–39.

• Joseph Walker, “More than Hemlines
and Haircuts,” E­ nsign, Feb. 1992, 22–25.

• D. Todd Christofferson, “A Sense of
the Sacred,” Liahona and New Era, Jun.
2006, 28–31.

38 E n s i g n

SERVING IN THE CHURCH

BLESSED BY

Councils

By Elder M. Russell Ballard STRENGTHENING heavily in debt and were in arrears on their
THOSE WHO mortgage. Following approved welfare guide-
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles NEED HELP lines, I inquired about the ability of their
“Ward council mem- extended family to help but received little
Some years ago when bers strive to stay information. Our Relief Society president,
I was serving as a informed about the however, was able to learn that the mother
bishop, a family in our needs, well-being, had a brother who was wealthy.
ward experienced a crisis and spiritual progress
when the father lost his job. of members in their “There’s no reason to contact him,” the
I was concerned about their organizations. They mother said. “We haven’t even spoken in years.”
well-being, and I visited their home to coun- also stay informed
sel with them and to offer Church assistance. about members who I understood her dilemma, and yet I felt it
Interestingly, they were reluctant to respond face special chal- was important to follow the order of the Church.
to my offer of temporary assistance, and so I lenges or changing And so I counseled with her and eventually
took the matter to the ward council. In a spirit circumstances. This received her permission to contact her brother,
of loving confidentiality, I shared with them my information allows who lived in a distant city. I called him and
concern for this wonderful family and asked them to strengthen explained the difficult circumstances in which
for their ideas as to how we could bless them. those who most his younger sister was living. Within three days
Our Relief Society president volunteered to need their help.” he arrived in Salt Lake City and helped get his
visit with the mother to ascertain their tempo- sister’s financial affairs in order. Meanwhile, our
ral needs and to work with them in obtaining Handbook 2: Administering elders quorum president helped her husband
any commodities they needed—which, of the Church (2010), 4.5.1. find a steady job with a good income.
course, was her responsibility according to
the program of the Church. Within a couple of Handbook 2 and More important, however, was that they
days, she had accomplished what I had been the November 2010 were closer and more united as a family. I
unable to accomplish, and the family humbly and February 2011 don’t think I’ll ever forget that tender moment
and gratefully accepted commodity assistance. worldwide leadership of reunion between the mother and her
The elders quorum president counseled with training broadcasts brother after years of estrangement. Although
the father of the family—which, of course, was are available at her brother had become alienated from the
his right and duty—and worked with him on LDS.org. Click “Menu” Church, there was an immediate spirit-to-spirit
ways to find a job. Our Young Men president and then “Serving in bonding. As a result, the brother eventually
noticed that the family’s house was in desper- the Church.” returned to full activity in the Church and
ate need of painting, and he arranged for his renewed his relationship with his family.
priests to work with the high priests group to
paint the house. All of this happened because of the inspired
During the course of my conversation work of a faithful ward council functioning
with the parents, I discovered that they were according to the program that God has out-
lined for His children through His servants. ◼

From Counseling with Our Councils (1997), 15–17.

J u n e 2 0 1 1 39

A MORMO N

Family Memories of C. C. A. Christensen,
His Great Panorama, and Two Special Paintings

By James Gordon Holmes Jr.

Our great-great-grandfather Carl to unload the panorama and prepare it for RIGHT: PHOTOGRAPH BY R. SCOTT LLOYD, COURTESY OF DESERET NEWS; TOP, ALL PAGES: PAINTINGS COURTESY OF BRIGHAM YOUNG UNIVERSITY, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Christian Anton Christensen presentation inside the meetinghouse.
(affectionately known as
C. C. A.), has been referred to The panorama was wound out
as “undoubtedly the finest vertically. Poles attached to
19th-century genre painter tripods served as “reels,”
of Mormonism and Utah.” 1 which two men—one at
An early pioneer artist each pole— rolled it out
from Denmark, he is best slowly so as to provide
known for his Mormon a synchronous presenta-
Panorama—a series of 23 tion as if it were a motion
large oil-on-canvas paint- picture. The direction and
ings, each measuring 6.5 feet intensity of light thrown by
(1.98 m) tall by 9.5 feet (2.9 m) the oil lamps was controlled
wide, sewn together in continuous
runs. Each scene served as a pictorial record by shades, screens, and mirrors.
of one of the many poignant events in early Grandmother provided the background
Church history. I recall Grandmother sharing music by playing the piano. Her music con-
with me her memories of traveling with sisted of a combination of various tunes and
her father and C. C. A. to various Latter- hymns, giving an added dimension of drama
day Saint settlements throughout Utah to to each scene. It was not uncommon for the
show the panorama to local congregations. congregation to sing along with the hymns
Grandmother told me that as a teenager she that Grandmother played.
helped load the panorama into long wooden Grandmother told me that C. C. A. “in
boxes, then into the wagon where they were a thick Danish accent, would then tell the
covered with canvas and quilts to protect story of our people. Invariably, the Saints
them. When they arrived at their destination, were moved to a level of high emotion.”
they enlisted the help of the local brethren The experience “was especially moving for
those who had actually participated in or
witnessed the events being presented.”

40 E n s i g n



PA N O R AM A

Far left:
Photograph of
C. C. A. Christensen,
courtesy of Church
History Archives.

Left: Paul
Anderson, curator
of the BYU Museum
of Art, stars as
C. C. A. Christensen
in a reenactment of
C. C. A. presenting
his panorama.

Across the top of
this page and the
next are 20 of the
23 paintings in
C. C. A.’s panorama,
courtesy of the BYU
Museum of Art.

J u n e 2 0 1 1 41

Two Companion Paintings family for five generations. Years ago our aunt donated C. C .A. CHRISTENSEN: LEFT: WINTER QUARTERS, 1846–47 AND SUGAR CREEK, GIFT TO THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS FROM THE FIVE CHILDREN OF JEANETTE TAGGART HOLMES (2009); LEFT, BOTTOM: THE
Throughout my youth, the painting Winter Quarters, Sugar Creek to the Church. For the last 25 years, it has MANTI TEMPLE; RIGHT, TOP: HANDCART PIONEERS’ FIRST VIEW OF THE SALT LAKE VALLEY, COURTESY OF SPRINGVILLE MUSEUM OF ART; RIGHT, CENTER: EMIGRANT SHIP AND RIGHT, BOTTOM: SCENE FROM FJORD ON NORWAY’S
hung next to its longtime companion Winter Quarters, WEST COAST, COURTESY OF CHURCH HISTORY MUSEUM
1846–47 (above), shared the space on the wall above the 1846–47 in the main gallery of the Church History
piano in Grandmother’s neatly kept home in Salt Lake City, Museum. However, unlike Sugar Creek, which is owned
Utah, USA. It depicts the temporary settlement on the west by the Church, Winter Quarters, 1846–47 has been on
bank of the Missouri River in Nebraska Territory, USA, of loan from our family.
the Saints who fled from Nauvoo, Illinois, USA. Hanging
next to it was the painting Sugar Creek (above right), In December 2009, we, as the five children of Jeanette
depicting another site specific to the Mormon exodus. Taggart Holmes (deceased), came together in a unan-
These paintings hung side by side in Grandmother’s home imous decision to donate the painting to the Church.
for as far back as I can remember, seemingly enjoying an Now the two companion paintings, which had shared
inseparable companion-
ship. We believe that both the space on the wall above the
paintings were created in piano in Grandmother’s home
the 1880’s in the upstairs for so many years, have been
studio of C. C. A.’s home, permanently reunited. I feel
unlike the panorama scenes, sure that our great-great-grand-
which were likely painted in father, my mother, and all others
his nearby granary. who have acted as generational
custodians of this wonderful
As is commonly the work would be pleased. ◼
case with things of a senti-
mental nature, the pair of NOTE
paintings remained in our 1. Richard L. Jensen and Richard G.
Oman, C. C .A. Christensen, 1831–1912:
Mormon Immigrant Artist (1984), 31.

42 E n s i g n



C.C.A. CHRISTENSEN’S
LIFE TIME LINE:

• November 28, 1831: Born in Copenhagen,
Denmark.

• 1840: Amid poverty, C. C. A.’s mother developed
hope and character in her children.

• 1842: Placed in an orphanage, where his artistic
talent was discovered.

• 1847–53: Attended the Royal Academy of Art in
Copenhagen.

• September 26, 1850: Baptized in Copenhagen. He
said, “I felt like a newborn.”

• 1850–65: Served five missions in southern
Scandinavia, during which he organized the first
branch in Oslo, Norway, in 1853. Spent one month
in Drammen, Norway, jail for proselyting in 1854.

• April 24, 1857: Married Elise Scheel Haarby of
Norway on the Westmoreland before they cleared
Liverpool harbor in England.

• September 13, 1857: Arrived in Salt Lake Valley in
the 7th Handcart Company.

• 1859–62: Eventually settled in Ephraim, Utah
Territory.

• 1863: Painted scenery in newly completed Salt Lake
Theater.

• 1868: Worked on roadbed in Echo Canyon for
Transcontinental Railroad.

• 1879: Began exhibiting first seven scenes of
Mormon Panorama.

• 1881: Painted murals for the St. George Utah
Temple.

• 1886–87: Painted murals for the Manti Utah
Temple.

• 1887–89: Served final mission to Scandinavia.
• 1890: Ordained a patriarch.
• 1901: Worked in Church Historian’s Office prepar-

ing history of Scandinavian Mission.
• July 3, 1912: Died in Ephraim, Utah.

J u n e 2 0 1 1 43

By Mark L. Grover of my uneasiness about giving blessings and seldom asked
for the additional spiritual help she may have desired.
I never asked God for anything that He didn’t then give
me,” my wife, Deborah, said. This statement still aston- In March 1989, when the doctor announced that my
ishes me even though I was with her throughout its wife had cancer, our lives were altered. Because of the
fulfillment. And it probably astonishes all those who know exotic nature of her cancer, it had eluded physicians for
of Deborah’s seven-year struggle with systemic lupus, her two years. By the time it was finally diagnosed, it had
two-year fight with breast cancer, and her eventual death spread and her chance for recovery had significantly
on September 19, 1990. But those who are amazed and diminished. Knowing we were in a struggle we could not
astonished may not understand priesthood blessings or their win on our own, we further opened our lives to spiritual
fulfillment. It was with difficulty that I learned for myself help. Our ward fasted for Deborah, and we gratefully
what it means to hold the priesthood and to exercise it to accepted the care of the Relief Society. Her battle became
bless others. one fought by many. A friend who had endured the same
chemotherapy my wife was about to receive confided that
Although my parents were both active in the Church during the most difficult periods of the treatment, he had
and faithful to its precepts, I don’t remember the priest- requested and received priesthood blessings. He advised
hood being a specific spiritual influence in my childhood. us to do the same—to seek spiritual help in order to toler-
I don’t recall being sick enough to need a blessing and ate the effects of the treatments.
have no memory of priesthood blessings administered to
others in my family. The chemotherapy was difficult. My wife experienced all
the expected reactions. She was sick for several days after
This lack of emphasis on priesthood blessings carried
over into my own family when I married and my wife and

Priesthood Blessings

LEARNING TO TRUST IN GOD

I had children. I gave priesthood blessings if someone was a treatment. She spent most days in bed, and eating was a
seriously ill or was having an operation. I also gave my chore. But little by little we learned how to confront each
wife a few blessings for emotional help, but those occa- challenge as well as possible.
sions were rare.
During this difficult period, my wife, as our friend had
Giving a blessing was always a positive experience for advised, called on me for priesthood blessings. I gave her
me. But a lack of understanding and a shortage of self- a blessing to help ease the anxiety she experienced the
confidence limited my exercise of this priesthood function. first week of chemo. Through a priesthood blessing, the
I struggled to know the words to say, unsure if what came fear accompanying an operation—though not completely
into my mind was really what God wanted. eliminated—decreased. Long periods of vomiting stopped
and sleep replaced restless nights as I laid my hands on
This situation changed little when my wife discovered her head and blessed her. These blessings gave us prom-
she was suffering from systemic lupus. Those years of bat- ises of help and comfort, intermingled with glimpses of
tling a disease of exhaustion and discomfort were aided by the future. They filled us with warmth and joy.
only occasional priesthood blessings. My wife was aware

44 E n s i g n



Every blessing
was fulfilled—
even though we
didn’t get what
we desired
most.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY BRIAN CALL

I wish I could say that giving blessings became easier for the difficult phase of waiting to see if the drugs had been
me then, but I can’t. I gave the requested blessings, but my effective. We enjoyed this time free of doctor’s appoint-
difficulty in exercising the priesthood persisted. I never men- ments, tests, and treatments. However, in the back of our
tioned my discomfort to my wife, but she could sense my minds was the fear that some cancer had been able to
reluctance. However, these were difficult trials, and she knew survive the onslaught of the poisonous anticancer drugs
she was entitled to help and I was the conduit through which and was reestablishing itself.
she could receive it. So when she needed help, she asked.
Little by little, small physical signs convinced us of our
IN HARMONY WITH HIS WILL greatest fear: the treatments had not been successful. The
“As we exercise the undoubted power doctors were upbeat, but we knew it was a matter of time.
of the priesthood of God and as we
treasure His promise that He will hear The last six months of Deborah’s life were incredibly
and answer the prayer of faith, we calm. After one last procedure failed, we decided to dis-
must always remember that faith continue the treatments and to go home and enjoy what
and the healing power of the priesthood cannot time was left. Some may not believe that it was a wonder-
produce a result contrary to the will of Him whose ful few months, but it was the best time of my life.
priesthood it is. This principle is taught in the
revelation directing that the elders of the Church During this period some concerned friends and family
shall lay their hands upon the sick. The Lord’s suggested that we needed to be more assertive with the
promise is that ‘he that hath faith in me to be Lord in our battle to save her life. They told me that I had
healed, and is not appointed unto death, shall be the priesthood and should use it to cure her. Though I
healed’ (D&C 42:48; emphasis added).” understood their feelings, these friends didn’t understand
what was happening. There was nothing I wanted more
Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, than to promise Deborah life, but those words never
“Healing the Sick,” L­ iahona and ­Ensign, May 2010, 50. came while I was giving her a blessing. There was little
she would have desired more than to have a blessing of
Before giving any blessing, I knew what I wanted to health, but she never felt she should ask. We both believed
bless her with: I wanted more than anything to bless her in miracles but also recognized our limited perspective on
to be healed. And she wanted that too. But that blessing an experience that fits into an eternal plan.
never came. What did come were blessings of comfort,
which didn’t take the trial away but made it easier to bear. What did happen was a greater miracle. In the blessings,
she was never promised life but was given the indisputable
Slowly I began to understand better how the priesthood assurance that what was happening was God’s will. She was
and priesthood blessings work. Giving blessings wasn’t not promised ease but was given help to endure the difficult
a tool to get what I wanted but rather a way to receive times. She was not allowed to stay and raise our children but
needed help. I learned to trust in the Lord and His will was assured of eternal bonds. She passed away with only
instead of what I thought needed to be done. I gained limited pain and discomfort, with her family at her side.
confidence that the words that came to my mind were
indeed the words God wanted me to say. And while giving I know that God does exist and deeply cares for us. He
blessings has never become easy for me, I have learned to provides us with comfort and assistance when we need
trust in the feelings I have while giving blessings. strength and understanding. Though life is difficult, the Lord
has promised to help us through our trials, and one way
After Deborah completed her treatments, we began help comes is through priesthood blessings. Knowing this,
my wife was able to say, “I never asked God for anything
that He didn’t then give me.” ◼

46 E n s i g n



REACHING OUT TO

Single Adults

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY DAVID STOKER By Allison L. Weiss whether it’s a priesthood blessing, a home evening, family prayer, family
shoulder to lean on, a compassionate outing, or Sunday dinner. It is a true
As I reflect on my life as a ear, or a good laugh. gift when I can experience the Spirit
single adult, I recognize and blessings of the priesthood oper-
that although there is Appropriate Physical Touch ating in a Latter-day Saint home.
much that I can do to build relation- Growing up in a large family, I had
ships with fellow ward members, Life Goals
many kind gestures have strength- ample opportunities to hug and cud- I am taking advantage of my sea-
ened my resolve to stay faithful and dle babies, tousle the hair of young
helped me feel that I belong to my children, joke around with brothers son as a single adult to continue my
ward family. Below are a few ideas and sisters, and sit close to parents. education and engage in worthwhile
that may help you to strengthen the As a single adult, I don’t always know projects inside and outside of the
single members in your ward. if or when I can interact this way Church. I thrill at the chance to share
with ward members. I appreciate with ward members what I am doing
Relationships with when female ward members give me with my time and talents. I love it
Ward Leaders a hug and let me know that it’s OK when they are sincerely interested in
to interact with and hug their young my personal and professional pursuits.
Occasionally, busy fathers and children. These small gestures help
mothers who are also leaders in the me feel the love and support of my Acceptance
Church forget what it is like to partic- Heavenly Father. Single adults of all ages are con-
ipate in Sunday services as a single
adult. It means so much to me when Social Opportunities fronted daily with the fact that they
a member of the bishopric, the Relief outside Church are operating alone in the world.
Society president, or elders quorum Most of us, given enough time,
president confidently calls me by I am glad to socialize with ward prayer, and trials, come to grips
name and shakes my hand. I love families during the week, but some- with this fact and come closer to the
when families invite me to sit with times I feel a little bashful inviting Savior as a result—a blessing I deeply
them at church. Those little acts tell myself into their lives. I appreciate treasure. It lifts my heart when ward
me, “We know who you are. We want the moments I can spend in a family members interact with me as openly
you here. You’re not alone.” as they do with other families and
married couples.
Faithful Home and
Visiting Teachers As brothers and sisters in the gos-
pel, we are all children of God trying
Church family is my family. As a to live faithful lives. Remembering this
single adult, I am particularly depen- shared commitment can make it easier
dent on monthly visits and friendly for all of us to share in the joys and
phone calls from visiting and home sorrows of life and to greet, fellowship,
teachers. I appreciate those who and love one another. ◼
make it easy to ask for what I need,

J u n e 2 0 1 1 47

Single
IN A
FAMILY- People sometimes wonder how I thrive in the
ORIENTED Church. This is what I tell them.
CHURCH
Some time ago I was talking insensitive toward singles and partic-
By Todd L. Goodsell with a gentleman I had met ularly toward single men. He told me
at a civic event. I learned that that after finishing school, he pur-
he had been raised a Latter-day chased a home at age 30 and hoped
Saint but was no longer active in to marry soon thereafter, but when
the Church. As we swapped stories that did not happen, some members
about our lives, he shook his head of the Church stopped interacting
and exclaimed that it was difficult with him. Some, he said, even started
to understand how I—someone in saying unkind things about him. He
his mid-30s who had never been resolved the discomfort he felt by
married—could remain active in the leaving the Church.
Church when some members are
I am sorry for this brother. I tried to

48 E n s i g n