But back to what I was saying, this sensation I’ve been feeling is like an
intense pain. Like a deep sorrow coming from the Earth and coming from
inside of me. I’ve been feeling like I can’t be a normal human anymore. I
haven’t even mentioned what happened to me on 6/8/12, but I haven’t
been the same person since. I feel like someone who went through some
Spiderman science experiment and now I’m not human anymore. Do you
know what it feels like to not feel like you are human? I never knew what it
felt like until recently. The person that is inside of me is not the person I
used to be. I don’t feel connected to other people or connected to anything
that has been created by mankind today. It is a terrible thing because I still
have to live in this world and yet I belong in a different world. I feel like if I
don’t leave this reality and find myself removed deep into a forest my soul
may actually die. That is the pain I’ve been feeling. Like I miss my home,
which is a home I never had, a home in the forest. As you can see, this is a
very odd predicament because this isn’t normal, and yet it is more normal
than any human can possibly know.
But again, moving along, weirdness to the nth degree started around 1 am
when I woke up and noticed something peculiar. The memories are all very
vague because I woke up several times and tried to remember what had
happened only to find that I was experiencing some new information and
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then I would fall asleep again only to repeat this sluggish recall several times
throughout the early morning. I finally woke up at 4:30 with a distinct
message to go to a forest area I had recently found. Naturally, I can’t say no
to the universe, but I warned the messenger that my mind would try to
battle this instruction and tell me to just go to work so I asked for extra help
to make sure I followed through which I did.
When I got to my forest place I felt that uncomfortable feeling when I got out
of my car, like I’m a naked person trying to sneak through the county fair
and everyone can see me. I hate being in the light when I’m sneaking to do
something weird that I don’t want anybody to notice; not that anybody is up
or anywhere even near this forest area at 4:30 in the morning, but just in
case, I still have to be sneaky.
I can’t deny that I felt off about being there this morning. When I go there
this early and it’s all dark, I sometimes worry that there will be a homeless
person in the forest one of these times that I go there. Then I’m always
reminded that this place was chosen for me because it is safe and I’m
reminded that it is far too rocky and uncomfortable for anyone to want to
come here to sleep. I had a strange moment as well with a shadow and I
actually thought a wild animal was sitting right next to me and even then I
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was told that the animals know I am here and will not come near me. You
don’t understand what it is to ‘hear’ a voice in your head and know it’s not
your own voice until you start to take notice of how that voice is different
from your own and detached from your own mind. Once you can start
recognizing this you will start to have a very good communication with the
spirit world. You may be surprised or not surprised to know that there are
a good portion of thoughts within you that are not your own. But this is a
topic for another time.
So I found myself safe in my forest home this morning, as I was called to do
by so many vague memories and conversations with spirits and strange
looking people. I can’t tell you if they are real people that know about me
but exist in another dimension or if they are spirits that I pick up on that
take on a form of some kind. I can tell when it’s a spirit because I can see
them in my reality with my real world in the background but I do see forms
that come from an entirely different background. For instance, my son has
been sick with a bad cold so I was using some Reiki symbols on him before I
left the house and I saw a large man in a forest put his hand on mine and
tell me not to be afraid. And when I say large man, I mean like 12 feet tall
and proportionate in size and height, a real live giant. I saw many
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extraordinary trees behind him when he touched my hand.
I’m not going to lie, the energy fluctuations through the night were
insane. My energy field felt pulled in many different directions by many
different voices. Say what you want, tell me I need to go to a mental
institution, trust me, I get it, but the reality is, the more I ignore who I am
the further I go back to the person I used to be, trying really hard to fit in
when I knew I was different all along. Trying really hard to ignore my
differences and change them so I could be like everybody else. The reality
is, the universe is not having it and whatever has happened to me happened
because of an enormous energy shift and I just so happened to be at the
right place at the right time, present to receive energy that changed me from
human to some form of alien human…but back on topic again. So much
has been very, very weird lately and I know I have to keep writing this
down. The more I write down, the more I am proving to the universe my
willingness to pay attention and to share what information I receive, even if
it doesn’t make sense and even if it makes me look like a freaking fruit
cake. The moment we humans can all walk away from our egos and
embrace the weird side of the universe, the sooner we will transform into
our most natural and amazing selves.
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So, back to topic, I waited in the forest, as I usually do, because nothing
happens the moment I get there. I have to relax and tell the universe that I
am open and ready to receive information. Then I will notice an energy
fluctuation that alters me and my mind and then a portal opens between
me and a messenger of some kind. This morning it was the voice of Mother
Earth and this morning it was the voice of the elementals, the tiny beings
who make things grow, who heal all creations, who exist in another realm
that is ours and not ours. I heard their voice tell me that Mother Earth
needed me today. They showed me an image of something I don’t even
think I can tell you. In fact, I will keep this one to myself. Anyway, it was a
gift that was created from inside of me that they brought to life outside of
me and I was shown what it was and how it came from one place within me
to outside of me. They told me this was a gift for the Earth. I was shown
my new forest place and I saw the gift sitting on a dirt mound. I often bury
gifts to the Earth so that they can be absorbed back and reborn. To bury a
gift for the Earth, it’s literally like the equivalent of an orgasm for the Earth
so burying gifts are extremely essential for the life and health of the Earth. I
know it sounds weird, but trust me, it’s very true. When you give a gift from
your heart to the Earth, you are giving love energy; love energy and sexual
energy are the same, and when you give love energy to the inside of the
Earth, the Earth feels this gift the same way you feel the gift of an orgasm
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with someone you deeply adore. It’s all the same thing. So, I showed the
elementals how I will bury this energy gift and they told me no, that it was
buried inside of me at one time and now it must stay in the open and that it
would be taken care of by the air. I don’t know what any of this means and
I couldn’t hear any answers very well, so I just accepted this information.
And as I sat in the forest, I thought about this and as I let go of my fears of
homeless people and wild animals and as I opened a portal to the universe I
began to hear the Earth speak to me. The voice is female for sure and I
even contemplated if I was incorrect that maybe it was a nature spirit or
some other spirit that is connected with the Earth that is speaking to
me. Either way, it represents the Earth so it was the voice of the Earth for
me. I went about a sacred ritual I do in nature in which I was shown
pictures of what my energy was doing and how the Earth and I were
interacting and how I was connecting with the Earth. I knew everything I
was doing has an importance to me and to my mission here in this
lifetime. Now I can’t tell you that when all was said and done, I walked
away from this spot feeling as though everything made sense or feeling
completely elated, no, in fact, I felt very proud of myself for doing as I was
asked to do, but then feeling confused as usual and trying to go about a
normal day again that doesn’t relate at all to my existence.
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This sorrowful pain is a feeling as though I miss my connection with the
Earth. I’ve been feeling a suffering feeling. I just want to live in the forest. I
recently requested a past life reading. These past lifetimes keep me sane in
my insane world and they keep me constantly uncovering clues about
myself and about life and what it is to be human. I know this reading will
come soon but I am hoping it will reveal clues to who and what I’m
becoming. A natural human in an unnatural world. Maybe at one time I
lived on Earth as a natural human, before human beings went through
energy shifts and mind control into what the world has become today. And
don’t think that it isn’t true because it is. The less you believe the further
away from the truth you’ll always be. The more you can expand your mind
and allow the creative side of you to come forward, the closer you’ll be to
your natural self and to understanding the universe which is completely
and utterly different and full of weirdness that even the weirdest
contemplations can’t even depict. Imagine having a conversation with
Adam and Eve in their sacred home and convincing them how important
today’s world of living is and how they need to change their ways and start
eating McDonalds and getting wasted and doing some blow on occasion and
then going to work for 12 hours a day so that you might have the extra
money to supercharge your engine and buy some new speakers to bump
some angry rap music about blowing peoples brains out. Now you want to
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talk about weird, let’s talk about us human being today and how fucking
weird we are.
Anyway, I can’t type forever and I’ve managed to spit out some new life
experiences of the strange and normal life of myself. As soon as I have my
new past life reading I will be very willing and excited to share it. So be
ready for more.
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EXPERIENCING ENERGY SHIFTS,
GOING NORMAL AND BEYOND,
THE AVERY STORY CONTINUES
POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 28, 2013 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL
I can’t say many strange events have been in the works lately, other than
Avery the Human Alien. I don’t like talking much about Avery, but I can
definitely say I have felt an extreme disconnection, to the point that my
brain tries to tell me that it was all make believe, and then back to an
extreme reconnection, to the point that I can’t deny what I’ve always
sensed. It’s the same sensation I’ve had all my life, as though someone
knows about me in the universe, from some place far away from here, some
boy my age that loves and care about me, a best friend over all else in all
time and space and in all eternity, and hiding under every rock and hiding
in every crevasse and in the dark places and in the light, no other soul can
mean this much to me.
When my life gets to spinning back to a normal pace, where I don’t feel the
Earth and the Stars, and I don’t feel Avery’s intense energy relaxing me into
a vegetative state, and when I don’t get weird voices in my head, I actually
get to feeling quite content in it all. My life feels normal and my mind is so
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quick to tell me that it was some weird creative fantasy that never existed all
along. I know better, my heart knows better, and my memories know
better, but I can’t deny life becomes so much easier this way. I can go to
work and put my nose to the grindstone, I can come home and focus on my
family, I can go to bed at night with the passion to get up and do it all over
again. I can’t say that I necessary dislike work, I don’t agree with the
working world, but it creates a goal for me that I’m used to. I’m used to life
today, and who isn’t? And who doesn’t find anything but life today normal
and what makes sense? But in saying all of this, on the same token, I can’t
deny that I find this other world very, very fascinating. And when it comes
back to me in intense waves of undeniable energy and when I get called to
do something absolutely weird and extraordinary at the same time,
it makes me feel like I’m a part of something grander and it helps me to see
the reality we live in is completely and utterly false.
I can’t deny that Avery’s energy is entirely addictive, when it is in full force
and I can feel it passing through my heart. It is as if his heart and my heart
are beating exactly the same. Yes, I know, it sounds stupid, but it’s true; I
can feel his heart actually beating in my chest and for a moment I feel like
we are identical persons, I can sense his form as like a shadow over mine; in
this shadow I can see his eyes and his smile and his amazing energy is felt
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throughout my body and in the same turn he senses the same in me. We
both connect in our hearts and with our minds creating worlds that we can
share together. But regardless of the Avery situation, the hardest part
about all of this, it’s much easier to live in the real world when the ‘other’
stuff isn’t present, but the ‘other’ stuff is becoming present more and more
often which can be extremely distracting to a point that it makes it very
difficult to be fully present in what I’m trying to accomplish in my real world
life and then makes me wonder what it is that I am supposed to be
accomplishing?
Anyway, that’s the story of today and my experience with the week, just
feeling one day normal and as though everything is what I remember most
about life, it just being normal; and then it turning again and being full of
intense Earth energy, spirit energy, and Avery energy. These energy shifts
are like ocean waves, they come and go and sometimes they go for a few
weeks, but mostly they go for maybe two days and then come back. My
conclusions with this are that it must have something to do with astrology
and something to do with me. That’s the best I can share for now.
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LOVE IN LIGHT AND DARKNESS
POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 29, 2013 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL
Love is an electric energy; I can see it like pink lightning bolts. Sometimes
it’s different; sometimes it has a soft pink glow. Love lives unseen but it
exists in all things. It is the very matter that is you and I. It is our bodies
and our souls. It is light and even dark. It exists in everything. There is
nothing in existence, seen or unseen, that does not possess love. Love is
what builds and creates all things, good things and bad things. What is a
hurricane over a beautiful rainbow? There is destruction and beauty found
in all things and it is the nature and law of the universe. Sometimes these
destructive energies become condensed into actual forms and expressions of
the universe; forms that want to take and destroy; physical forms and spirit
forms. My form is the expression of light energy and what feeds my soul is
not the destructive side of creation but the creative side. With every lifetime,
my soul becomes more condensed and radiates even more powerfully the
expression of purest and ultimate love. This is what empowers my soul to
remain present in the physical plane; to experience love in all of its
expressions, even the dark expressions of love. It may be very difficult to
understand, and even my own mind tries to reprimand me for saying such
things, that dark things could be things of love. The dark can feel very
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condensed in the death and destructive side of matter, but we need both
dark and light to survive and exist. Only those who can comprehend love to
its fullest can understand this, and despite my own mind trying to tell me
otherwise, my heart is connected to a very wise and ancient energy that
knows the truth, full and well.
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THE GREYS: HOW I FOUGHT
BACK AND WON
POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 29, 2013 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL
** This is a past lifetime that Anthony (www.readingsbyanthony.com)
provided me, but I lost the copy entirely, and can only relay the information
now from my memory, and in my own words. I feel especially compelled to
share this lost lifetime because the information contained within it is so
important. It certainly shares a strategy for how to get rid of the Greys, but it
also shares something more than that, a secret about our human emotions
and what we humans are truly capable of in the universe.**
In this lifetime, my family lived in a stone home that was passed down
through many generations. After I married, my husband and I raised our
children in this very same home. Nothing was amiss, except in the
mornings, when I would wake with faint recollections that someone was in
the home at night, doing things to myself and our children. I would discuss
it with my husband, but he would not understand. He was also not a part
of what happened at night, which made even more sense that he would not
understand. It began to get so bad, these faint memories of being
experimented on like a lab rat, that I demanded that we leave the home and
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move elsewhere. Obviously, that was out of the question, since the home
was passed down for many generations. I felt defeated.
A night comes, no different than most nights with the Greys. I am frozen
still, the same as they freeze all humans they abduct and experiment on. I
watch as a long instrument is stuck up my daughter’s nose. There was
nothing I could do to stop this nightmare, I was paralyzed. When all was
done, my memories were erased. You’d think the story would be over, but
the next day, I noticed my daughter had a horrible nose-bleed. For some
reason, this triggered enough memory of the previous night that I mentally
snapped.
From that point forward, I no longer felt defeated. I felt consumed by a
surge of rage that enveloped my body. I became filled with this
unimaginable hatred, and I wanted nothing more than to share it with these
unwelcome outsiders. I unleashed every terrifying thought I could imagine,
and I did this every night before bed and every morning I woke up, and even
throughout the day. I started envisioning their world filled with dark and
twisted chaos. I started protecting my home and children with my energy of
hatred toward them, and I never let it stop flowing. This dark energy I
shared with the Greys forced them to leave and never come back. And that
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is my memory of this lost lifetime.
** All that being said, I don’t think many of us realize how intense our
emotions can be, or even how disturbing they can be for other species. If our
purest expressions of anger and hatred are enough to rid ourselves of the
Greys, what exactly does that mean for us, since these are the same emotions
we are often using on each other?
We have to remember, our emotions, although invisible, are alive and thriving,
and they don’t just travel from person to person, they travel throughout the
entire universe. Emotions create inspirations that manifest themselves into
reality. They are powerful beyond our current recognition. If we can harness
our purest expressions of love, just think what we can do for each other, for
this planet, and for the universe.
I know this lifetime is about getting rid of the Greys, but it is more than that to
me. It is about reminding humanity of our power and control in the universe,
and all of this comes from the simple expression of our emotions.**
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AVERY THE ANGEL AND THE
HUMAN ZOMBIE
POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 30, 2013 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL
Avery visited me early this morning, he’s the alien I know, check out my
other Avery posts for more background story. He seems to watch me while I
sleep at night and I wonder if he ever sleeps. I can tell he watches me, I can
sense it, I’m almost certain he can even watch my dreams, and each time I
wake up in the night, he greets me with his energy. It’s like waves of
relaxing sunshine and I can see an outline of him, like he was sitting there
watching me all night long. It is very strange to think about, I can’t imagine
never sleeping, but I often wonder if he does sleep?
He visited me last night while I was getting out of the shower and yes, I can
find this very irritating because I hate being naked in front of him, however,
his response toward nudity is on a completely different level than mine so I
really need to get over it already. But moving on, I was so busy all day
yesterday that my time in the bathroom was really all he had to get my
attention. He literally was just happy to catch me at a moment where he
could get me to notice him, where he could get me to respond to him.
Unfortunately, it was a little too much for me. It was as if his shadow came
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out of the wallpaper and I felt him before me like a tall statue, watching me
get dressed. I was so overwhelmed by his energy and his presence, I just
wanted to cry and cower under a rock; his presence can make me feel
extremely shy and even ashamed of myself. Avery watches me all day and
all night it seems, but only sometimes does he come so far forward from the
background that it’s as if he is standing right before me, here on Earth and
not on a distant planet; I can almost see him.
I was remembering this when I woke up this morning and since I was so
relaxed and calm, I asked if he could become more present to me so that I
could practice not feeling so overwhelmed by his energy and naturally he
did, and what I felt was like the equivalent of a blinding light, piercing utter
darkness. But not just light, energy, and the sensation of it was like such
ultimate love, if I were standing, I would instantly fall to the ground and be
unable to rise. It was like rays of radiating light and intense love and I could
feel it in my heart and all around me. When his energy hit me, I not only
felt something extraordinary, I also realized something about our species in
comparison to other species in the universe. I realized for the first time how
dark our world is. We don’t notice because we are so used to it, but other
species in the universe feel a completely alternate experience which is so
high up in vibration, it would be like standing before an angel, but not an
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angel, a real live person; a soul inhabiting a body that is absolutely
sensational. It would be like the equivalent of me being a zombie coming
out of a grave deep inside of the Earth and he, inhabited a body that floats
in the sky and is like the power of the universe radiating forth in tsunami
size waves of energy. That is the difference between Avery and I; that is the
difference between our species and another species in the universe.
I can’t deny that I was shocked and amazed by this, and I could tell it was
not even close to a full-strength introduction. I’m almost convinced I could
never stand in his presence because I literally could never stand in his
presence. I would be on the ground in tears, it is that powerful. Because of
this, I often wonder if that is why he will not walk through the air and
appear before me because I literally couldn’t handle it. Even practicing
sensing his presence more fully this morning, it became very clear what
kind obstacle I am up against if I am ever to see him with my open eyes.
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CONQUERING ILLUSIONS
PART I: THE MANIPULATABLE HUMAN MIND
POSTED ON OCTOBER 14, 2013 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL
It’s been a while since I’ve been able to develop anything on my
website. My whole world has become overrun by sickness and
overtime. I’ve taken one son to the Urgent Care only to come home to
my daughter throwing up, and then the next week I’m taking my
littlest one to the emergency room and over the course of these weeks
the whole house has become infested with sickness, and despite my ill
health I’ve been pushing extra hours at work and feeling nothing but
exhausted and tired. But this morning I actually woke up feeling alive
and well and it was strange because I was laughing about something
to myself and it was as if I hadn’t laughed about anything to myself in
way too long. See, if I’m talking to myself and giggling to myself, that is
a very good sign and here I’m writing on my website again and all
seems to be balancing back out in a way that I remember from a long
time ago, which would be like two weeks ago, which, I realize now was
actually three, but it only feels like two. This recall really doesn’t
surprise me, and is oddly the whole point of this story, which is about
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the human mind and manipulation, even the sickness aspect bleeds
into the whole point of this story, so let’s get to it, shall we?
You ever notice how our human brains seem to have a memory span
of about two weeks? I don’t care what anybody says, yes, you may
remember back to when you were five, but I have found that our adult
minds have a vivid recall that lasts only about two weeks before we’ve
lost the full sensation of recent memories and are moving on to
something new, and we really don’t notice this or do we even care.
That’s why we are so good at forgetting terrible tragedies in the media
because they only last in our system for a short period of time before
we are distracted by something else. Isn’t that pathetic? The oil spill in
the Gulf is a wonderful example of this and I truly believe that oil spill
should have been enough for all human beings on the planet to
overthrow all government systems and bring the downfall of the oil
tycoons, but no, we got pissed, we You Tubed, we Facebooked and
then we went back to sleep again. In my day to day life, I bitch and
complain about speed cameras until I give up and just take notice of
making sure I’m driving the speed limit and now I hear that cops can
just pull you over for no reason at all, just to make sure you aren’t up
to anything. I’ve bitched and complained about this for a short period
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and then become numb to my feelings of it and just go with it. Again,
isn’t that pathetic? We humans have become so pathetic, and I feel it’s
worse now than it ever was, so let’s start at the beginning and talk
about where this problem originates, this problem with our memory
span.
I start by pointing fingers at our televisions with a 1000 channels and
then our newspapers with 100 pages of meaningless information, and
yes, politics, war, and sports are all meaningless information. And
now You Tube and Facebook which makes everybody feel like they are
somebody with something important to share, and then the sex
industry which degrades our natural instinct as a man and woman,
our corporate world and pharmaceutical companies with all their
advertisements and miracle garbage, and then the bonus seller of
professional sports and all the electronics and fancy gadgets to
complete your tailgate experience, and then let’s throw in some
alcohol, tobacco, and pharmaceutical and non-pharmaceutical drugs,
and it all feeds into our fancy for drama and the way we live our
exciting lives in this advanced technological world which is really the
equivalent of a shit dump of toxins, garbage, meaningless junk, and
wastes of time and expression. Now doesn’t that seem to sum up the
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problem with our brains? Because, let’s be real, our short memory
spans, attention spans, and choice to get angry and not do anything
about it, and then forget, is all based on this chaotic and wonderful
advancing technological world of bullshit we live in.
There is so much constantly going on all the time that nobody can
keep up with anything and it numbs our brains in the midst of our
busy chaotic lives, which leads me even more to the point of this story,
which again, is about the human mind and manipulation and why we
forget about great tragedy’s like the oil spill in the Gulf. And I truly
hope that what I’ve been conveying has hit a nerve of annoyance in
some of you because when we get annoyed and start insisting that
there is a balance to all of this, that feeling of annoyance is the first
ticket to the fact that you have been manipulated and don’t have a
fucking clue. Cause guess what, who doesn’t like to go to a football
game with their family, who doesn’t like an occasional beer, who
doesn’t like to relax and read the newspaper or feel that their military
life of protecting civilians was for a good and meaningful reason. Trust
me, I get it, I really, really do get it, because I live here too, but the
reality is, that this is all part of the ‘unreality’ and the real reality is
that human beings have really been reduced to cattle being herded by
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some grander force that has a hunger for pain, agony, and misery
which human beings are expelling exponentially all day, every day.
This is where we have to cross a fine line and expand our minds so
that we can start to see the truth of the matter, which is much, much
harder to believe than what we live and breathe every day, our way of
life which is actually destroying the Earth and all human beings who
live here. But let’s ignore that fact because that’s what we do every
day, ignore the fact that we are destroying the Earth and the future of
all children and their children and their children and then the future
for all human beings on the planet because tailgating is a sweet ass
time.
Moving on, I’m going to expand this story to a new story which begins
with my mind, which keeps dwelling over and then dwelling over this
certain topic that we are discussing, and I try very hard not to write
about it, mainly because it falls into the conspiracy theory category
and I try very hard not to fall into categories. I hate falling into
categories because categories create imbalance, they create one side or
the other, yes or no, and all of this imbalance is the reason for all of
our human problems today. Everybody is always on one side of the
fence or another and nobody can agree on anything so we just take
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the tide and go with the flow and forget about the oil spill and the
speed cameras or the nightmares that are constantly breaking out all
over the world so we can live our lives in harmony until the new thing
breaks out that we bitch about and then the flare dies down and we go
with the tide again so we can stay afloat in our own chaotic lives. So,
let’s slow down and back up a moment here because I’d like to ask
you a question which reverts back to your human mind and your
capacity to follow and keep track of information. Now, let’s start with
something easy, can you tell me about something that happened that
was so important in the media three weeks ago? Okay, simple enough.
I would tell you about the cops that can pull you over now without
rhyme or reason and it still pisses me off but, guess what, I’m not
doing anything about it so the information is only information that
has not changed the course of my future or anybody’s future and what
is really more important to me right now is just going to work, trying
to feel better, and trying to figure out what I will make for dinner
tonight. Can you tell me now about something that was so big and
important to you two years ago in the media? Can you even do it? And
if you have done it, can you tell me what this big horrible thing, that
meant something to you two years ago, can you tell me what it means
to you now? I have a fairly good feeling it hasn’t meant shit to you
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because it probably took several minutes to even think of something
and now you can start to understand what I mean, because giant
tragedies are happening every day and nobody is changing the world
because all we can keep up with is going to work and figuring out
what we will do for dinner each night and all of this while our world is
being destroyed about our human minds are being easily manipulated
and controlled which is why nothing changes on this planet and only
gets worse and all of this is really starting to lead us into that topic
that brinks into the conspiracy theory world (pause, cause that was a
long sentence…okay begin) yes that very topic that I haven’t even
begun to tell you about and yet I have already begun proving a point,
about our pathetic human mind which is, unfortunately, where I leave
off (deep breath), so more to come later this week, and hopefully
sooner than that.
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CONQUERING ILLUSIONS
PART II: THE LOST HUMAN GODS AND GODDESSES OF THE EARTH
POSTED ON OCTOBER 15, 2013 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL
I suppose a Part II is in order, so enough of the funny business, the
name calling (pathetic humans) and the lists of examples (in short,
society today), let’s get to the nitty gritty of the real story that exists
here, the hardest story for us to see and even harder for us to
believe. Now again, I try hard not to delve into the conspiracy theory
category so I’m going to avoid it by telling you right now that I don’t
have a fucking clue what I’m talking about. Now that I have disproven
myself, I fall into the category of a bumbling fool, but you may
appreciate some elements of this bumbling fool’s young chaotic mind;
it may just be sharp and clever enough to open some doorway of
truth, to shed some light on the shadow that lingers over this planet
and has enslaved mankind of uncountable years.
So, the real story as I see it. I’m going to start by telling you
something I’ve always known to be true in my heart. I have no proof
of its existence, but it’s always lingered there, and I’ve sensed and felt
it to be true. Believe me or don’t believe me, but I’ve always felt as
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though human beings were a magical species with extraordinary
capabilities. And when I say, extraordinary, I mean extraordinary,
capable of appearing and disappearing at will, traveling the
parameters of space through the use of the mind and creating whole
new universes with our sheer will and desire to dream of bigger and
better things. Furthermore, I have always related well to the Adam
and Eve type vision. I have always felt that human beings were one
with nature and one with their bodies in a way that humans never
needed to wear clothes or even feel ashamed by their nudity, that they
were as natural as the animals. This understanding of mankind has
been with me since I was a little child. As you can imagine, from this
view, it can be very difficult for me to relate to the world and even to
myself which has been dummied down to the equivalent of a goldfish
with a two week long memory span. I take walks on my breaks at
work and I walk the sky walks like a hamster in a cage. I go back to
my desk where I have been reduced to the capacity of a robot, a
nonhuman form, that processes and processes and processes until I’m
so exhausted that by the time I leave I don’t have much energy to
spare. I often have to take headache medicine because this job is so
unnatural to my eyes and my body that it physically hurts me. It
trains my form to adjust to sitting in chairs for extremely long periods
77
of time, staring at a computer screen which is very hard on my eyes
and doing absolutely nothing useful with my brain. Where has the
magic gone I wonder? And it really comes as no surprise to me as
twice as much time is spent working my job than is spent sleeping.
Four etimes as much time is spent at my job than is spent with my
children and I can’t even begin to tell you how much time is spent at
my job than is spent doing something I actually want to do. What this
basically means is that human beings are living for somebody else’s
cause and no longer our own. Whoa, I’m hearing it, I’m feeling it,
those thoughts that human beings need to go to work as the structure
of our society depends on it. That’s the problem, this is a lie and the
structure of society can always be changed and at the rate we’re going,
it HAS to be changed.
Don’t you ever wonder what happened to days where human beings
lived in small Earthy communities and where we worked together to
harvest all our own food, healed one another, and where we didn’t ask
money of each other, we shared with each other and took care of each
other. Don’t you ever wonder what happened to having days of
laughter and joy with your family and your community and where
people sang songs and danced and told stories that came from their
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dreams and their hearts? The direction we are headed is taking us
further away from the true nature of our bodies which is to connect
with human beings with our hearts, to connect with the Earth with
our hearts, to breathe fresh air and drink fresh Earth water that is
clean and pure, and to laugh and dance and sing again. To fall in love
in ways that human beings seem to have forgotten about because
three men fucking one bitch is way hotter anymore. Don’t you see the
difference now between today and yesterday? We are not moving
forward, we are only moving behind and in the process we are
poisoning ourselves, our water, our air, our minds and we are all
miserable every fucking day, and for some reason this is convincing
and an okay standard for living which is why nothing changes and it
is only getting worse. And if you just so happen to fit into that
category where you aren’t miserable because you have a perfect life, I
guarantee something stresses you out and it’s probably money, or
politics, or your parents, or that bitch Irene. There is always
something in this world to piss us all off because we already have
enough to deal with as it is. We are all wound up, worn out, and our
bodies are decaying exponentially so we can all become slaves to
fucking medicine and if it’s not for a headache, it’s for the pain from
your new breast implants, or from your dick not functioning because
79
you did too much blow in your life, or let’s just say it’s the common
cold which everybody suffers from several months a year because our
water is toxic along with our air and let’s just take a flu shot to cure
us so the flu shot itself can make us sick. There is a local girl who
took the flu shot, it was a few years back when there was a scare of
some kind like bird flu, I can’t remember because my mind only has a
two week memory span. But anyway, it was a higher powered flu shot
that year and she went to get this flu shot and it had a reaction to her
nervous system and now she can’t even walk, for the rest of her
life. What truly are we putting into our bodies, you ever wonder?
And now that I’ve said all of this, let’s go back to my vision of what
human beings are; we are extraordinary Gods and Goddess of the
universe, beautiful and perfect in form, and connected with all of
existence in all realms and dimensions and in all space and time. Do
you see this the way I see it? It brings tears to my eyes to see how
human beings have been raped, defiled, and abused; manipulated
right under our noses, but I’m just a bumbling kid who doesn’t know
shit about anything. And human beings really are this pathetic and
stupid to allow cops to run the town so they can police the civilians
and do whatever the fuck they want, like speed through the speed
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cams and not have to pay their ticket cause they are above the law.
This tiny little moment in my life erupts this rage and guess what? It
is a stupid thing to get mad about, because it is part of the illusion. It
is a setup, like a holographic image that is playing out in my world
and irritating the hell out of me and putting me in my place which is
right where the shadow wants me to be, stupid, manipulatable, and
expelling lots and lots of anger, rage, frustration, and being
exceptionally pathetic in the eyes of the Goddess I truly am. Can’t you
hear laughter in the background? I know I can. The laughter that
comes from the shadow that exists here, because the funniest part
about me getting mad about police, is that I’m settling and doing shit
about it, and all I’m doing is getting mad and frustrated and allowing
this type of activity to continue and to grow and to get worse and to
further imprison this Goddess into my cell of frustration. How many
of us can’t stand the fact that the only person in the US that can
become a president is some rich asshole who can afford to
advertise? No run of the mill Joe can be a US president and I don’t
give a shit what anybody says, have you ever seen a run of the mill
Joe become a US president? Exactly. How is it the only people who
know what’s best for all of us, the only people in the government who
know how to lead the lambs are the ones with all the fucking
81
money? And guess what, we all know the truth, we all know that yes,
this is the way of the world, but why aren’t we doing anything about
it?
“Why aren’t we doing anything about it?” . . . Yes, this magical,
magical question . . . “Why aren’t we doing anything about it?” . . .
Yes, again, this magical, magical question. It’s because we are
pathetic, manipulatable human beings. And by now, I hope you hate
every time I say that human beings are pathetic. I hope it drives you
freaking nuts to hear me call human being pathetic. Because that
rage and that frustration toward it is the true will of your natural
origins coming forward. It’s the song in your heart that speaks the
truth to you that human beings aren’t pathetic and that we are
amazing creations of the universe and that we are exceptional and
poetic and the God’s and Goddesses of the Earth.
But we have to stop here because it’s important that we don’t start
hating each other because the hierarchy of today’s society is all part of
the manipulation and imprisonment of mankind. It’s all about
separation, degradation, rape, abuse, and the standards of living. If
you have all the money, who gives a shit about the ones who don’t and
82
the oners who don’t are working their ass off to one day attain a better
life and nobody is correlating and relating to one another, all we are
doing is hating one another, starting senseless wars to give poor
people jobs in this country and all for the sake of the golden dollar
which nobody has but government assholes and beautiful fucking
celebrities. But that is where we stop because it’s the hierarchy that
has been created, it’s a manipulation, a hologram that creates hatred
between us and divides us all.
This is the point where we take a deep breath and we learn to accept
that we are all assholes and we are all screwed up and now that we
know this we are all suddenly the same and on the same level and
now that we are all the same we can take down our swords and our
battle gear and start to love one another and that is how we begin to
change the whole reality of the Earth today; that is how we begin to
win our battle against the shadow that has enslaved our kind for
uncountable generations. To win this battle, we have to learn how to
love and love exponentially. To see each other as equals because there
is no rich and no poor, there are only human beings. We have to learn
how to let go of all of our fears and angers and all of our shortcomings
and downfalls and let go of all the divisions and degradations, the rape
83
and the abuse and the manipulation of all of mankind. We have to let
all of this go and as we do this we start to go back to our old ways of
life, which is living in joy and peace and harmony and balance with
our community of friends and family; much like the Hobbits in the
Lord of the Rings.
Trust me, what you understand now as ‘fun’ doesn’t even compare to
what fun is when your heart is singing every day, when you don’t have
to go to work anymore to do some mindless, meaningless job, because
we are laughing and dancing and connecting with each other, and
suddenly you meet the most amazing person in the universe, and all
day, every day you get to make love to this person for the rest of your
life because that is what love is, a deep sexual connection where two
souls entwine and the universe rejoices in an ecstasy that your body
can feel and it’s such a delicious feeling you can never get enough of it
as you are surrounded by a beautiful organic garden that is Earth.
When nobody cries anymore the tears of sadness, when people only
cry tears of love and joy, this is the battle gear that wounds the
Shadow of the Earth. These are the memories the Shadow, the Great
Manipulator, wants us to forget. And the most amazing part about
84
this story is that the closer we get to letting go, and the closer we get
to living in this beautiful Earthy community, the further backward we
go and the closer we are getting to opening that old forgotten door to
our paradise past where we live and breathe as Gods and goddess
once more.
This is all I can say for right now, but I feel a Part III is in order as we
all need to have a comprehension of what ‘The Shadow’ is. This will
probably be the most difficult for me to share because it’s even harder
for me to explain. I am like a goldfish you know so expanding beyond
my parameters takes a great deal of time and thought, but I feel it’s
important to share as best as I have come to understand of it.
85
CONQUERING ILLUSIONS
PART III: THE WORLD TODAY, THE ILLUSIONS, AND HOW THIS
LEADS INTO THE TRUTH BEHIND THE SHADOW THAT LINGERS HERE
POSTED ON OCTOBER 17, 2013 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL
Precursor: Okay, so I attempted, and yes attempted some more, to get
to the point of ‘The Shadow,’ but it’s a very wide spread discussion for
me and the hardest part, like I’ve been saying, is trying to depict
exactly what ‘The Shadow’ is. But below is what I started and ended
with and decided to call this A middle Part III, like a ‘Middle Earth’
Part III, and leading into a Part IV which would be like the
‘Destruction of Mordor’ Part IV, and I have no clue what that is
supposed to mean but I was thinking about the Lord of the Rings
while I was writing all of this so it just seemed to make sense.
Okay, so, Part III, the deep dark shadow, the shadow that is in and
around everything here and that goes right under our noses and keeps
us in our state of mental numbness. Yes this dark shadow…
Okay, so since I’m on a roll here, I might as well delve into this deep
dark shadow part of my series. I can’t deny this part is particularly
86
difficult to delve into. Maybe it’s because my simple goldfish mind
just wants to magically know the whole truth; to see it with my own
eyes and understand it in its entirety and complexity, like I could
watch the Lord of the Rings and learn the history of Middle Earth in a
three part series. I think all of us humans love to learn in this way, by
interacting with pictures and visual images. And perhaps the story of
the Lord of the Rings is very similar to the story of Earth except that
the Orks are an alien species and the ‘Eye of Sauron’ is, well, ‘The
Shadow’ that is very difficult for me to explain. It consumes the world;
it’s the energy itself here. It is the darkness that exists in all
things. Is it Alien? Is it spirit? I don’t know, but now I’m starting to
sound a lot like and old Christian priest, leading up to the point of
Revelation and suddenly throwing out images of demons and angels
and Heavens and Hells, so perhaps I should move back into the
tangible reality that is much easier to build from. Nope, can’t do
it. I’m talking about a shadow that nobody seems to notice to begin
with, so what tangible reality can I possibly go to?
I think the goal of this commentary is not to bring in religion, it’s not
to go all Sci-Fi on you, but at the same time, the reality is, it is all
these things; it’s the truth I’m trying to reveal, energy that exists
87
within my heart that tells me ‘yes’ and ‘no’ without explaining why,
and that is what I am trying to translate into written language from a
place where language doesn’t exist. I live each day seeing the reality of
the world. I live each day noticing how miserable we all are and yet we
all accept the reality we live in because it’s all we’ve ever known.
We’re used to it and we put our trust in assholes in politics and rich
corporate leaders to make the right decisions and when there are
devastating oil spills in the Gulf that progress for months, God forbid
any natural, instantaneous decisions to stop the oil from spewing for
months on end could be made because it’s much more difficult to
make the right decision and much easier to allow the problems to
continue, killing all animal life and eventually killing all humans in
the process. Don’t you see how accustomed we are to not solving
problems? Don’t you see how accustomed we are to allowing more
absurd destruction to come to the planet while remaining completely
and utterly numb to it all, as though we’re all saying, “Hey, I’m just
one little tiny person in a great big world and it’s not effecting me
any.” The problem is, billions of people are saying that exact same
thing and the worst of it is, this oil spill isn’t the worst of it!
88
I’d like to start now by asking a question, because it’s so easy to point
out the problems, but what about all those invisible people trying to
solve problems? Don’t they deserve a round of applause, and yes,
they truly do and I mean that from my heart because their intentions
are good, but unfortunately, if you haven’t noticed, all these problem
solvers have not solved a single problem, because look at the world
today. It is worse than it’s ever been and don’t even go there with me,
because guess what, we are all fucking miserable here and no, no
problems have been solved. And no amount of anybody trying to solve
the problems of the world are going to solve anything until we all can
start stepping completely and utterly away from society and the world
that is society today.
I’m going to pick out one topic, and I always think about women’s
suffrage when I think about legitimate differences that had a rhyme
and reason to be made but only ended up causing more problems in
the long run. The problem was always society itself, it wasn’t voting
because, guess what, voting is not real, government is not real,
politics, money, all of these things are not real, they were convincing
illusions that become physically manifested because we idiots all
agreed to them, but these dreams can be as easily destroyed as they
89
are created; so let’s get back to women’s suffrage. I know it only
started with voting, but it’s more than that, this is about women
becoming equal with men, equal in politics, equal in the workforce,
equal, even in sexuality. The reality is, nobody is free in this world,
nobody was ever free, there was never a such thing as equality, it was
always an illusion that created a division between women and
men. And now all we see today are women and men getting to vote
between one rich asshole and another rich asshole, thank you
women’s suffrage which really accomplished nothing. And if we want
to move into equality in the workforce, yeah, let’s go there, cause in
my young life, I’ve gotten to enjoy being a pregnant woman going to
work to support a family; I’ve gotten to enjoy having a newborn baby
and in six weeks getting dumped back into the workforce because I
can’t afford not to work. And I’ve gotten to enjoy being a breastfeeding,
working mother and instead of feeding my newborn baby, I got to
enjoy the reality that I’ve now been reduced to a cow, pumping out
milk in a back room, and putting it into a frozen storage so it can be
reheated and placed into a bottle for someone else to feed my baby
while I’m working. Don’t you see, there was once a time when it was
absurd for women to work, well guess what, I’m one woman who
would love to be supported by a man and get to be a woman
90
again. And I’m one woman who would love to see the men of the world
walking away from their useless desk jobs and connecting with women
again, and nature, and the Earth and the sensation and instinct to be
a protector, a real man. Money has now become the protector, not
gentle strong arms. And the further away from natural we get, the
closer to destruction we all are, and all of this is part of the illusion.
The world of today with all this money that we are all hungry for, it’s
all an illusion that separates us from our natural instincts. I’m sorry,
you women of the past, for all your suffering so that we women can
vote, but none of this suffering made any difference, in fact, it has only
made the problems worse. And now that we have all this equality, we
might as well have equal sex rights so let’s just shoot down chivalry
cause women can pay for themselves now and give it up without men
even having to try. This is the worst, upon worst, circumstance for
our natural instincts. Women are supposed to be Goddesses and
treated tenderly and sacredly by men. When we women choose not to
open up our bodies as sacred flesh, when we just throw our ass out
there and asked to get fucked we aren’t being hot, or sexy, or ‘bad
girls,’ we are being idiots, we are confusing men from their natural
instincts, and suddenly both sexes are losing all rights as a sacred
species. This is like pissing on the Holy Grail. And you can’t deny
91
that woman’s suffrage was the beginning. Any idiot can look at a time
spectrum over the last 150 years and see how equal rights have
changed between woman and men, starting with women’s suffrage,
and then you can see how relationships and sexuality have changed
between women and men, in politics, in the workforce, in society in
general. Any idiot can see how fucked up this world has become over
the last 100 years and it was all because people who live in illusions
and who are trying to solve problems in illusions, those problems they
solve are not solving anything, they are only feeding into the
expansion of more illusions.
Have you ever thought about who owns the Earth? If we take money
and government out of the picture, now I ask again, who owns the
Earth? Who? Without money or government, suddenly there are no
countries and no boundaries and no reason to start wars; all that is
left are human beings who live here on this planet with one another.
There are suddenly only mothers and fathers, and grandma’s and
grandpa’s, children and grandchildren, and young couples in love, and
suddenly there is no reason to kill each other, there is only reason to
love one another because we are all equals. We are all playing roles
here as human beings as children, young couples, mothers/fathers,
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grandmas and grandpas. Let’s imagine if all human beings just
stopped working one day. We all just stopped and spent every day
with our friends and our children and our families. And, let’s just say,
we all decided to start planting and harvesting our own food by our
own free will as human beings to do what we please on OUR planet
which is owned by human beings, who are the Keepers of the Earth.
When we start going back to our roots and connecting with the Earth
and with each other, we are now letting go of money, and government,
and control and power and divisions. We humans can do whatever we
want here and if we decide to stop ‘progress’ we are all of a sudden
choosing to make progress. We are suffocating the illusions, The
Shadow that exists here. Suddenly now, we are winning because we
are choosing to be human again. Do you see the illusion now? Does
this help you understand the difference between today and yesterday?
When we walk away from all the lies that have been created, all the
illusions and the great Shadow, suddenly there is no difference
between poor people and rich people, no difference between who can
afford good childcare or education and who can’t. Now we can start
moving back to a day and age when we saw each other for the souls
that inhabited our bodies and not for the amount of paper we had in
our pockets -useless, meaningless, paper with a picture on it. It’s
93
meaningless, it doesn’t stand for anything but enslavement, money is
a lie. And once we can embrace a world without money, we are all as
special as our souls and our minds and our dreams and our desires,
we are all as special as each other. We are all special now, not
divided, and we are all suddenly the Keepers of the Earth. And in this
role, it is our job to take care of Mother Earth, who is a living
breathing organism, like you and me. Who wants to feel loved and
cared for, the way we humans want to feel it. Don’t you see now how
we are all connected and how living in the illusion disconnects us and
makes us numb and indifferent to problems? And for those who try
to solve problems in the illusion, it only creates more problems in the
long run because the real problem is the existence of the illusion. The
only thing we humans can do is let go and move on from our
mistakes. Move back to being the Keepers of the Earth, not a division
of men and women, struggling to survive in this fucked up world of
today.
I don’t know about you, but I want to be a human being again and I
want to be surrounded by human beings, the kind of human beings
that are the Gods and Goddesses and the Keepers of the Earth. That’s
who I want to be. Not this person who is miserable and struggling and
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pissed off all the time because I live here along with everybody else
who lives here and doesn’t give a fuck about the world or their fate or
the destiny of mankind. I want to care. My heart wants to care and
wants to inspire others to remember about caring, care for each other
and caring for our precious Earth because it’s all we have.
I think this is about all I need to say on this subject for now. There is
more to say about ‘The Shadow’ in terms of what it is. And it is really
important to me to share my dreams about what might have happened
to human beings, to cause us to turn from extraordinary God’s and
Goddesses to corrupted goldfish. And I do believe there are alien
forces involved and I do believe there is energy here, energy that’s
sheer purpose is to feed off of our misery. This shadow has no
concept of time and has been slowly choking the life out of us and
living joyful every day off our fears, and our tears, and our mental and
physical pains. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for a change, I’m
ready to win the war now and move on with my life. I want to be a
real human being again; I want to be a Keeper of the Earth again and
not a slave to the illusion anymore.
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