learn how to love each other which would have done me a hell of a lot of
good this time around.
But moving on, I do pride myself on having an amazing cheerful attitude,
because the last thing I want to do is connect with the disturbing memories
of my life. I’ve learned that people born in a bad world, learn to survive by
doing bad things and I’ve been through a lot of bad moments and I do what
I can to ignore the pile up and keep moving forward because being happy is
more important to me than being sad. I’m convinced, as I always have been,
that my life will get better, so not connecting with grief is always the
goal. Naturally, a lifetime like this will only bring on intense and severe
depression, which I have suffered from for approximately 17 years. This is a
side of me I’ve tried very hard to keep hidden so you only see the happy go
lucky girl and not the true girl underneath, who is really filled with sadness,
hatred, and self-destruction.
So, moving on, because this part is important. It’s important to
acknowledge how we are all so good at wanting to think we know about the
people around us when we truly don’t know the whole story. I’ve
experienced this rational my whole life. It’s very irritating but I ignore it
because I know people don’t know any better. I have found these types of
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people are many and they base their opinions on their own fears of
expanding and connecting with people unlike themselves. Like like’s like,
you know, and like does not like diversity and straying away from what is
most comfortable, which is the biggest problem of the world today, people
who cling to what is most comfortable and do not like difference, otherwise
known and change, and it starts with how we judge others, because
judgment is not love, and we live in a very judgmental, unloving world.
So how have I been judged? Not too shabbily, most people see me as
being naïve, ditzy, simple, weird, high strung, and crazy. The ditzy and
simple opinions do surprise me, but weird doesn’t and crazy doesn’t, I am
high strung because I have way too much energy, and I’m not surprised by
naïve either because I am super gullible. I sort of have to be because I
believe in all possibilities and it’s the only true way to expansion and
experience plus I can’t seem to see evil in people, I see only a soul that was
created out of love and is learning how to love or how to not love, which is
the other side of the spectrum. All things in creation, good and bad, are
expressions of love, which is all I can see. This is called something like
unconditional love and it seeps through from my soul into my human
form. Clearly this type of mentality has led to some bad situations because
I trust people too much, but it was really the bad situations early on (birth –
adolescent years) that led to certain decision making and bad situations
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(college years), which led to the destruction of my human mind (all those
years) and then I became like velcro which only attracts bad situations
(college to present years really). So, very alone, depressed girl attracts bad
situations; makes sense. So moving on.
** This is the invisible part of the story which tells you everything that I am
having difficulty sharing at this current moment. **
Okay, I give up, I’ve attempted to tell you a stream of memories but I’m
clearly not yet ready to talk about them yet. At least not my life experiences
between the ages of 12-18, 18-24, and 24-today, which is all of the worst of
them. As you can see, I’ve noticed a strange pattern of 6 year cycles, which
is really approximately 7 because we can’t just subtract years, we have to
include years. The eerie part about this is that I’m at the end and the
beginning of a new cycle of years. This I’ve already known, but it’s just
proven itself to me even more here on the page, and I think I’ve even
mentioned in some other writing about walking through a time portal,
which I’m about to reach the other side soon. Maybe time portal isn’t the
best way to describe it, maybe ‘life cycle’ is better; but it’s where you go from
one persona into a fully altered persona which takes an approximate 7 year
cycle; at least I’ve noticed that with me.
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So this is attempt number one in my quest to share something deeper
about myself, but I guess you still don’t know much about my real
life. There are a lot of parts that are difficult to share, mainly because they
are the bad parts, and I really don’t like connecting with them, but it’s
important I do share these parts because there are lessons to be learned by
us all. I will certainly keep trying, but for now, I think I will just put this
down in the archives as attempt number one, and we will just see what
happens next.
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SELF-HEALING TECHNIQUES:
ASKING THE UNIVERSE FOR
HELP IN SELF-HEALING
POSTED ON NOVEMBER 24, 2013 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL
CONVINCING OURSELVES TO NOT CHOOSE HEALING
We all need healing from the universe, but how many of us actually ask the
universe for help? And if you happen to be one of those amazing people
who do self-healing, how regularly do you keep up with it? I know how easy
it is for me to get sucked into human mode and refuse to ask for help,
because being human makes sense and being spiritual is like a friction for
our mind’s comprehension. And when I say being spiritual, I’m not talking
about going to church on Sunday, I’m talking about expanding our souls
beyond our bodies and becoming one with the mind and body of the
universe.
Our human minds are so good at convincing us to stay cradled in the world
that exists around us; convincing us that we don’t need help or
healing. That’s when we start using alcohol and drugs as a healing escape
from our depressing lives; or watching television or playing games on our
iPhone for hours to provide some healing entertainment to fill our
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unfulfilling or even exhausting lives; and when we get aggressive we start
fights to release the energy because releasing aggression feels way better
than holding it in and the next thing you know our globe is in war and on
each side of the battle our human minds are convinced we are doing the
right thing. None of this is healing our human lives and it’s definitely not
feeding into the expansion of human consciousness or bettering the health
of the planet.
MY PERSONAL STRUGGLES WITH BEING HUMAN AND NOT
CHOOSING TO HEAL
I know I have my own battles that keep me from wanting to open up to the
universe for healing. Considering I’ve suffered from depression for over half
of my life, that very low feeling becomes extremely normal and convincing to
be unloving and uncaring toward myself which definitely keeps me
convinced that I don’t need to connect with the universe for healing as of
course, self-healing would rid me of my best friend [depression] and my
addiction to depression so of course I can’t self-heal. Depression isn’t the
only example up my sleeve; I can’t forget the way my body felt after having
my third child. My life seemed to convince me I didn’t have time or energy
for rest and healing. Seeing as I had three kids in four years, after I had my
third child I was so exhausted and depleted of vitamins, I felt physically
55
disabled, I could hardly walk from one room to the next. I was basically
living in a corpse that was still alive but immobile, but I didn’t have time to
rest. I had a newborn baby, two other young children who needed all my
love and attention, and a job I had to go back to in 6 weeks. If ever I needed
to self-heal, now was the time, but now was never the time. I convinced
myself the only way to get stronger was the push myself harder. My
muscles needed strengthen, my body needed realigned and I needed
exercise to lose all that extra weight; this seemed to be the only way
forward. Looking back, I get the logic, but the logic was really insanity. So
now it’s two years later, I’m stronger mentally and physically, and over the
span of a lifetime of challenges, I have finally started to say that it’s okay to
let go and it’s okay to submit to the powers of the universe and to choose a
self-healing lifestyle every day. Choosing self-healing is choosing to love
yourself.
ASKING THE UNIVERSE FOR HELP
The first thing you need to do when asking the universe for healing help is
to relax, because relaxing is key to connecting, that’s what meditation is. All
it is to meditate is to relax, to feel a balance and harmony in this sensation
of relaxation while still keeping your conscious awareness open. It’s
important to keep conscious awareness open, as in, don’t fall asleep, you
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need your mind to create a fantasy world that involves angels, light, and
space, as in stars and planets, and you need to surround yourself with that
invisible energy that is our soul friends and spirit guides who are radiating
with love and are in connection with the mind of all, which is God, the
universe, creation, ultimate love, however you want to perceive it. This is
your fantasy world, your healing session all personally created by yourself,
for yourself. The more I connect with the universe in this way and open my
heart up to receiving love the more often I notice that my body is filling with
flowers, as though I am as organic as the Earth and that my body is literally
like ground with flowers growing all over it. I’m not going to lie, this seemed
very strange when I first saw it, but I love and accept it now because I’m
learning and understanding the power of flower energy.
Now don’t get ahead of yourself, don’t get impatient, we have eternity you
know so bring that sense of timelessness to your healing session. Fill your
mind with the sensation that there is nothing to do, nowhere to go, and
there is only now, in this perfect, peaceful, pleasant awareness and relaxed
state. That’s when you call upon the universe to heal you. I ask the
universe to beam a bright radiating light through my head and through my
body to heal my mind and heart and all organic parts of me and to beam
this light through all of my extremities. I don’t know why exactly, but there
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is usually a minute of pause and suddenly I feel possessed by light, like a
fury of light that is beaming within me and around me and I feel as though I
am becoming like the stars. I call upon my angels and spirit guides and ask
for specific areas that need healed or I ask for awareness that I am trying to
attain or I visualize a situation that needs healing and understanding. I ask
for patience or help in opening up my heart to receiving love, help learning
how to love myself more, help in seeing how I can become a better mother,
help in making healthy choices, healing of my heart or mind or help in
opening up my third eye; whatever it is that you need help with in your
healing session, you can ask for it now. When I ask for this help, I start to
feel new sensations of energy radiating inside of me and around me. It can
feel like rain drops of love, like a mist of love that is surrounding me and I
inhale it and absorb it and enjoy this amazing sensation and as it builds
and grows, I feel compelled to release it back to the universe so that it can
be shared with others. In my dream world I think about the people that I
want to share these raindrops of love with and I direct that energy to
them. Sometimes I ask the universe to take this healing energy and give it
as a gift to the person or persons or even situations that I conceive of in my
mind so that way this love and healing can be shared. And the more we
share love the more love is returned to us, it’s always important to
remember that.
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In these moments of self-healing and sharing you will find yourself at an
ultimate vibration of energy and you will feel as though you are buzzing like
a bee. That happens when you have raised your vibration to great
heights. Just take pleasure in this sensation and try to stay with it for as
long as you can. Eventually your self-healing session will be over and you
can feel yourself comfortably going back into your body, you can feel your
energy going back into a relaxed stated from a buzzing state. This is a sign
that the universe has healed you and that you have healed yourself and
others and that it’s okay to just relax now and enjoy the memories of what
just took place. When you feel ready to get back on with your life then do
so, but remember to come back to this place as often as you can, your body
needs it, all of our bodies need it, the Earth needs it, our friends on other
planets need it, and the whole of the universe needs it; all things in creation
need love to thrive and grow and expand.
You may not have known this, but when we share love with the universe,
the universe expands and grows and starts developing whole new planets
and new races of creation. Love is creation itself and the more we heal
ourselves and heal others and share this healing which is ultimate love, only
growth can occur, the kind of growth that happens from a place of
love. And this is what leads me into the next part of this story, which is
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reiterating the importance of self-healing every day, because we humans, in
our convincing world of misery, we have to remember to self-heal, it’s the
most important thing every single one of us can do in our day.
MORE REASONS WHY YOU NEED TO CONNECT WITH THE
UNIVERSE FOR HEALING EVERYDAY
We all need to ask the universe for healing each and every day. When you
do this every day, you start to feel expanded, healthy, and more aware of
yourself and your surroundings. You start to develop a sense of clarity and
positivity in all things you are connected with. When you don’t do this every
day, you get sucked into your human mind and start being human, which
is attracting lower vibrations of anger, frustration, irritation, exhaustion,
confusion, and impulsive behaviors.
I know I go through phases where I do heal myself regularly, and then
phases where I get distracted from connecting and feel more attached to my
body and involved in the human world. I can tell when I need to get back
on the healing train because I start absorbing more of these negative
energies and I start getting accustomed to feeling lower and I forget how
wonderful it is to feel connected and balanced and harmonious. The trigger
point for me is when I start having memories of times when I felt better in
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my life and when I think about healing myself I get this trigger sensation
that I don’t need healing and I get sucked back into my human mind
again. At these times, I’m learning how to let go of my convincing human
mind and absorb the willpower to heal once more. We all need to learn how
to let go of being human and how to embrace something new, which is
spiritual, which is infinite love and wisdom. When we chose to embrace this
path of self-healing and sharing, now all of us are suddenly raising our
vibrations and raising and expanding our conscious awareness of ourselves
as a species and our connection with the Earth and the universe. Now
suddenly we are walking a better path toward a brighter future for all of
mankind and this brighter future will start to vibrate and buzz and infect
the universe with the healing power of love which is expanding and creating
whole new worlds for future lifetimes to grow and expand our very souls.
But maybe I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let’s just keep it simple and
start at the beginning; let’s start by asking the universe for healing and let’s
start by remembering to do this every day!
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SUMMER SOLSTICE 2013: 4 AM
AT GRAY’S LAKE CELEBRATING
WITH NATURE
POSTED ON SEPTEMBER 30, 2013 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL
Okay, moving right along. It’s Sunday and my thought of the day is
continuing. So today I will show you something wonderful and amazing. So
amazing you’re not even going to believe your eyes. Now look!
Okay, so now, if you were ever wondering what 4:00 am looks like on the
first day of summer, 2013. Now you know. This actually was a difficult
picture to take. I had to go into super stealth sneaky mode to get to this
point. I had concluded I would more than likely be the only weirdo out in
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nature at 4 am in the morning celebrating summer solstice but it turns out
that no, I was not the only weirdo. In fact, there was a team of noise makers
in the lake at that hour so I nearly avoided this peaceful spot by the water,
but only for a short moment. Only I can be in control of the happiness of
my day so I went invisible and snuck around the beach and made it! And
now I have this beautiful picture to show for myself and to share with the
world.
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LOSS AND LETTING GO: ABBEY
NORMAL’S LOST TREASURE
POSTED ON NOVEMBER 30, 2013 WRITTEN BY ABBEY NORMAL
It really started last night. I don’t know about you, but I am the master at
losing things. I’m going to share a story or two and then I’m going to tell you
what I lost last night that I struggled to deal with.
So in my life, I have learned to accept that physical objects are not all that
important, especially after having three kids and this house that has truly
been a money pit, so yes, I have definitely learned to accept that physical
objects are not all that important. I’ve learned that it’s okay to let go when
things get damaged or destroyed; that doesn’t necessarily mean I enjoy it,
but I accept it.
I think developing this acceptance mechanism started when I got my first
real car. When I graduated from high school in 2001, my parents bought me
a 2001 Oldsmobile Alero with all the bells and whistles. I waxed it, washed
it, cared for it, kissed it, and watched it get door dings, scratches, lose that
new car smell, and when I hit college, I realized if I was going to take my
BMX bike anywhere, I was going to have to do it in my baby. So then the
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seats slowly got greased and ripped and I basically destroyed the very fibers
of its beauty that I worked so hard to sustain. I remember making a firm
realization in college that it’s just a car, and that it’s true purpose isn’t the
appearance of the car but that it’s only a useful tool for getting places that
mean something to me. Being able to take my bike places was more
important to me than my car. And then there was this time about two years
ago, I had a horrible time throwing out a pair of shoes that I owned for many
years – I know it sounds silly, but I swear, they possessed a life force and
memories of their own. In fact, I tried to throw them out several years
earlier but I couldn’t do it and I kept wearing them until there was basically
no sole left…whoa, hold up…no sole left…no soul left. No, there was a soul,
they were like my very own feet but when the shoe guy tells you to throw
them away, you know they need to go in the garbage. That was a tough
moment for me, but the whole point of all of this, is that last night I lost
something that was truly meaningful to me, that wasn’t necessarily physical
either; it wasn’t a person, it was definitely a thing. What I realized I lost last
night was one of my past life readings, and not just any reading, my favorite
of all favorite lifetimes.
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So last night I worked on compiling a lot of my past lifetimes. Some of them
aren’t on my computer, for reasons I could tell you but doesn’t really matter;
and of those ones not on my computer I have a copy of it in a file, in fact, I
have copies of copies of all of my lifetimes, but obviously not all of them. I
went through everything, and when I say everything, I went through like
5,000 emails that I haven’t deleted because I can’t keep up with my emails
between meaningful messages and advertisements it all just piles up. I
looked through boxes of papers I haven’t gone through in years because I
can’t keep up with the endless amounts of paper that comes to me in the
mail, between important garbage, like tax documents, life insurance
policies, abstracts, and then actual garbage, like flyers, advertisements, and
coupons that never get used. Yes, in all of these emails and in all of this
meaningless paperwork, I couldn’t find a copy of this lifetime; I basically fell
into a panic moment and actually cried. There’s nothing more near and
dear to me than my memories. This is not just a reading to me, it’s an
entire lifetime and entire experience and existence my soul had that my
human mind can’t remember; this lifetime where I lived as an alien for
thousands of years of time to us. Maybe this memory will always be
contained in eternity, but guess what, I’m not in eternity right now, I may be
on some level, but I’m more physical than spirit and more than half the
time, and this loss of a life was like severing my very hand. It felt like
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something I couldn’t live without. It wasn’t a car or a shoe, it was an actual
legitimate memory that changed me after I first read it. My entire existence
as myself changed after I received this reading, after I first read this lifetime,
I changed.
So the whole moral of this story, which I had to bring myself to terms with
again, is that things will always get destroyed and fade away, things that
matter more than what feels like life itself will get lost, and guess what, even
my website and myself will one day no longer exist, and that for whatever
reason, this aspect of life is one we can’t escape and will always happen and
when it happens to something you love more than anything else, there is
truly a legitimate reason for it. When it comes to this reading, I decided I
have no other choice than to accept that the universe did not want me to
possess this reading in physical form, but I still remember it in my mind. I
don’t know if I will type it from memory, perhaps I lost it because the lifetime
was only for me to remember and just a treasure that it is okay not to share.
Perhaps I haven’t lost it at all, it is only hiding until the right moment when
it finds its way back to me and I can share it. I’ve noticed that happens to
me in my life, that things get lost and become found again when it is the
right time.
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Anyway, this post takes me into my physical mind and is just to share
something about me and not something metaphysical or words from spirit
so to speak. I think we all have the ability to relate to each other and learn
from each other on this physical plane. So if there is anything you can take
away from this, it’s to learn that it’s okay to lose something precious to you,
that sometimes the universe does this to us on purpose. Every time we feel
pain or frustration in our lives, it’s a new lesson to be learned and it’s okay
to accept these new lessons, even if they are more painful losses, like the
loss of someone you love more than anything else in the world. I can move
on from my lifetime that I lost, I think I can say that I have already started
to move on, but maybe this post can go beyond just losing a pair of shoes,
or losing a special treasure, it can also lead into loosing someone you love.
These things can all go together and the ability to learn to let go is a hard
one to accept but can be accepted.
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