The Gaudie 10th November 2021

What the cave paintings tell us An interview with the COO of the Ban Ki-moon Centre for Global Citizens iV magazine inside Features Newspaper p.6 International Newspaper p.10 Zuckerberg's cover-up successful? Opine Newspaper p.12 Your advert could be here. Reach thousands of students online and in print! Find out about our affordable rates by contacting [email protected] ‘A hostile environment of surveillance and targeted scrutiny’ University faces criticism over counter-terror scheme Last month, the University confirmed via a Freedom of Information (FoI) request that they had made no referrals to the UK’s PREVENT anti-terrorist scheme since 2015. They also confirmed that there had been no investigations opened by the University over suspicion of possible extremist cases during the same time period. The University’s participation in this programme is a result of the CounterTerrorism & Security Act, passed in 2015, which mandates bodies such as universities to recognise warning signs and take action ‘to prevent people from being drawn into terrorism.’ The scheme is run in several ways, including the monitoring of student activity on the University’s IT facilities and the referral of potential extremist targets to administration by Student Support. Data in the Freedom of Information request revealed that 200 members of staff have received WRAP (Workshop to Raise Awareness of PREVENT) training, 5.5% of the 3,600 administrative staff who are employed at the University despite WRAP being offered as a free online course available to all employees of higher learning institutions. When asked for comment, a university spokesperson blamed COVID-19 protocols for the lack of trained staff, saying, ‘In-person training has been limited by the Covid-19 pandemic but an e-learning programme is now being rolled out and will be targeted to ensure coverage of all parts of the University.’ The spokesperson further remarked that ‘training [had] been prioritised for frontline staff ’ and was in line with ‘national guidelines.’ The PREVENT scheme has been criticised for unfairly targeting students from Muslimmajority countries and limiting academic freedoms. Academic-oriented organisations opposed to the programme include the National Union of Students, as well as many other civil rights and advocacy groups. PREVENT also has its detractors at Aberdeen. Camilo Torres-Barragán, AUSA’s Vice President for Communities, criticised the scheme in several statements, telling The Gaudie that: ‘… strategies like PREVENT are part of a wider Hostile Environment policy that negatively affects international students, specifically those that are racialised and come from the Global South.’ Torres-Barragán reflected on his personal experiences as a student from a country on a ‘dangerous’ list, commenting: ‘I [especially] feel strongly about this as my nationality is specifically affected by some of the surveillance measures in place right now…’ He further criticised the programme as out of place in a university setting, writing, ‘[the scheme] outsources surveillance strategies from the central government to institutions that are meant to be dedicated to the wellbeing of the population, like our university…’ Torres-Barragán concluded by announcing the creation of Undoing Borders, an AUSA campaign meant to combat the challenges faced by many racialised international students. He told the Gaudie: ‘… We encourage any student that has faced any of the negative consequences of the Hostile Environment policy, and those that are sympathetic to our cause, to get in touch and join us to change this situation.’ Additional reporting by Anttoni James Numminen who submitted the FoI request. by Josh Pizzuto-Pomaco ‘In-person training has been limited by the Covid-19 pandemic but an e-learning programme is now being rolled out and will be targeted to ensure coverage of all parts of the University.’ The Gaudie at the COP26 climate summit “Blah, blah, blah” or “an opportunity for growth and change”? Around 30,000 attendees, 10,00 police officers, 100,000 demonstrators - both logistically and politically, COP26 has been a huge event, but whether that translates into real change remains to be seen. Present at the 26th Conference of Parties (COP) were world leaders, government negotiators, climate activists, NGOs and journalists. This included accredited Gaudie staff as well as a delegation of observers from the University of Aberdeen. The delegation, one of the first that the University has ever sent to a COP, took part in meetings, spoke to attendees and participated in talks. Sophie Levine, a 4th-year Psychology student and UoA observer at the conference, said she was taking part in order to “learn how to get the youth engaged and educate others on climate change.” Read more on page two. by Anttoni James Numminen

p.2 30.10.19 EDITORS-IN-CHIEF ([email protected]) Anttoni James Numminem Amy Smith NEWS ([email protected]) EDITOR: Mireia Jimenez DEPUTY EDITOR: Olivia Mackenzie Smith FEATURES ([email protected]) EDITOR: Zsófia Kiszely DEPUTY EDITOR: Skye MacDonald INTERNATIONAL ([email protected]) EDITOR: Istvan Peter Miskolczy DEPUTY EDITOR: Ivan Kanev SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT ([email protected]) EDITOR: Holly Ferguson DEPUTY EDITOR: Sam Johnson OPINE ([email protected]) EDITOR: Aidan Bridgeman SATIRE ([email protected]) EDITOR: Ruairidh Macdonald SPORTS ([email protected]) EDITOR: Khushvita Singh Editorial Team HEAD OF PRODUCTION ([email protected]) Mathilde Communal PRODUCTION DESIGNERS Julie Toft Carlsen Theodore Williamson Amy Smith Georgia Kartsagkouli Archanaa Manivannan COPY EDITORS Ava Lindberg Arianna Ferioli Judit Garab Paula Becka SOCIAL MEDIA Charlotte Hill Mena Collin Aedan Brennan Julie Mikkelsen MARKETING Khushvita Singh PHOTOGRAPHER Aedan Brennan PODCAST HOST Josh Pizzuto-Pomaco Production Team We voluntarily adhere to the Independent Press Standards Organisation (www.ipso.co.uk) and aim to provide fair and balanced reporting. The Hub Elphinstone Road Old Aberdeen AB24 3TU Tel: 01224 272980 The Gaudie is printed on 100% recycled paper. Note from the Editor: The Gaudie at the COP26 climate summit “Blah, blah, blah” or “an opportunity for growth and change”? ...continued from front cover Levine described the conference as facing a “lack of action”. She added that there is “so much talk, so much of blah, blah, blah. So much negotiation and still nothing happening. There are agreements but there’s no concrete plan or strategy. “Everyone’s talking about [stopping] at 1.5 degrees. How are we gonna do that?” There was a mood of urgency and exasperation among many of those attending, with some describing proceedings as “hypocritical” and “patronising”. At a rally in Glasgow on 5 November, Fridays for Future founder Greta Thunberg labelled COP26 a “failure” and a “PR exercise”, a view shared by many both inside and outside the conference. A perceived disconnect between the conference and real-world impacts of climate change were a regular topic of discussion among observers and delegates at COP, but not an issue that was mentioned by world leaders. The Mayor of Greater Manchester, Andy Burnham, addressed the issue, telling The Gaudie that “leaders [at COP] are going to have to work harder and show leadership. They’re going to have to come here and really change their plans and be prepared to go further.” “You’ve got this [conference centre] here, which a lot of ordinary people in Glasgow feel disconnected from, and then you have protestors who are screaming ‘you’re not doing enough’, and I’m not sure people are connected to that either. “The debate needs to get some broadbased support and the way I see that, is netzero interventions that are going to improve life for people. Burnham, who has been a strong advocate of publicly owned transport, said: “Much cheaper public transport for people, better homes that are cheaper than the traditional way of running homes, reduced cost of living for people and letting them see the drive to net-zero as a way in which they are going to have a better standard of life.” The Gaudie also interviewed the Finnish Minister of Finance, Annika Saarikko, and asked her about Finland’s role in climateoriented education and innovation: “As a small country, our influence is strengthened by our skills and knowledge and that’s based on research. And this is exemplified in the relationship between science and climate change: we need more information; more data.” She also highlighted how Finland’s education system teaches children about climate change from pre-school onwards, and how that could also be a strength and an export for Finland. University of Aberdeen observer and politics student, Giulia Cottino, said that her biggest takeaway from COP26 was that “small is big and we have to start changing our habits, our diet, and asking whether our purchases are sustainable, especially when buying food; now its winter, why would you buy strawberries?” The role of large polluting countries was also raised at the conference several times, a point which was emphasised by the absence of Russia and China at COP26. Prime Minister Boris Johnson attributed their absence to Covid while President Joe Biden said: “Putin has kept mum over the climate […] and how can China be taken seriously if it does not turn up?” Despite some progress on finance and carbon, few will brand COP26 as a great success, certainly not comparable to the Paris climate accord’s commitments. The main question is, will countries stick to the commitments and promises that have been made in Glasgow once they return home? by Anttoni James Numminen I was about to start writing this editorial when we were rather rudely ejected from a certain café for the admittedly outrageous crime of… wait for it: sitting at a table for over an hour! Safe to say we won’t ‘manger’ there again. The pandemic has created all kinds of restrictions and problems for students – hence we can’t use our office during weekends and must go to cafés instead – the general contradiction of rules and regulations is frustrating, to say the least. As you’ll see from this edition, the biggest stories are about climate change – COP26 in particular – and the UCU’s balloting of staff for another round of industrial action. In Glasgow, one of the biggest feelings I got from people outside the conference, was a sense of anger and of apathy. Anger that enough is not being done to save our planet by those who have the power to do so. And apathy, that despite years and years of climate strikes and protests, progress remains slow and often contradictory. I think it’s safe to say there’s a similar feeling within the higher education sector and UCU in particular: there was overwhelming support for industrial action by those who cast a ballot, but more than half of members at Aberdeen chose not to vote, which means industrial action is unlikely to go ahead. And though you’ve probably had enough of online teaching and strikes, those who voted in favour of walking out were right to do so; university staff are sick of having been screwed over for years by senior management intent on further privatisation, cuts to staff and pensions, worse contracts, and unfair workloads. All issues that negatively affect higher education for us and those who come after. But there is also a sense of apparent apathy, present in the fact that so many chose not to vote at all. If there’s a parallel to be drawn, and I think there is, it is that only by standing together and being a right pain in the proverbial to those in charge, will anything change. These are political choices that are being obstructed by the rich and the powerful: the vice-chancellors, the CEOs, and those with vested interests. To quote Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: “You are the answer. Mass movements are the answer. Millions of people are the answer. You are the answer. And so, I need you. We need you." Everyone’s talking about [stopping] at 1.5 degrees. How are we gonna do that? Photo courtesy of Anttoni James Numminen

30.10.19 p.3 UCU members at Aberdeen have voted overwhelmingly in favour of industrial action over two main disputes, however, neither ballot reached the required 50% participation threshold which means industrial action is unlikely to go ahead imminently. 70.2% of voting AUCU members supported industrial action over changes to the USS pension scheme, while 56.8% voted in favour of action over pay and conditions. But the ballots only garnered participation from 46.2% and 47.1% of members respectively. Due to what has been branded anti-union legislation by UCU general secretary Jo Grady, at least a 50% turnout is needed for industrial action to take place. Meanwhile, 82.7% of members voted for action short of a strike over USS and 73.5% of members voted in favour on the pay and conditions ballot. Both of these were also close to reaching the 50% threshold. The University and College Union (UCU), which represents academics and other university staff in the UK, voted on two different disputes. Balloting for staff at the university ran from the 18th of October to the 4th of November. The first dispute is in regards to the issues of job security, unfair workload, a lack of equality for women and minority staff, as well as pay. In an email sent to staff on the 15th of October, UCU Aberdeen said that: “We know that in recent years, our pay has been cut by about 20% in real terms relative to inflation. We know that over half of the academic staff in our universities are employed on fixed-term and variable or guaranteed minimum/zero-hours contracts. “We know that there are severe pay gaps for women and other colleagues with protected characteristics, with the gender pay gap as high as 20% in several institutions. We know that staff spend hours every week effectively working for free.” The second dispute is over cuts to the Universities Superannuation Scheme (USS), a nationwide pension scheme for university staff. Cuts to this pension scheme have been proposed by Universities UK as a way to manage a funding shortfall that is estimated to be between £14-18 billion. According to the UCU, a USS member is estimated to lose anywhere between £240,000 to £730,000 in retirement. The Gaudie asked UCU Aberdeen about what they hope to achieve with industrial action and what they wanted students to know about why they’re taking this action. As of writing, there has been no formal response from the union. On 2 November, Student Council voted non-bindingly against the UCU strikes. As of publication, it is not known if AUSA will support the potential UCU strikes, however, AUSA has done so in the past. Last year, over 70 branches went on strike, including AUCU, with some staff suggesting that a sense of apathy lead to the low turnout this time. Members have previously walked out in 2020, 2019, and 2018. by Michael Bryce “We know that in recent years, our pay has been cut by about 20% in real terms relative to inflation. We know that over half of the academic staff in our universities are employed on fixed-term and variable or guaranteed minimum/zero-hours contracts. The report published by Al Jazeera summarises the complaints of 125 UK universities within the years 2017 and 2020 Aberdeen UCU does not meet 50% threshold needed for strike action But 37 Universities vote in favour of strike action An investigative report was published two weeks ago by Al Jazeera summarising all sexual misconduct complaints made by staff and students within UK higher institutions. The information was obtained by the Al Jazeera Investigative Unit by sending 164 Freedom of Information (FOI) requests. The University of Aberdeen response to the FOI request revealed that a total of fourteen sexual misconduct cases were reported between 2017 and 2020 The University provided vague details about the nature of the complaints, saying that “less than five were dismissed or led to expulsion/suspension”. Student complaints about sexual misconduct, including sexual harassment were described by the University as “Less than five” in each one of the years 2017/18, 2018/19 and 2019/20. Regarding complaints where the respondent was a staff member, “less than five” were received from 1st August 2017. The University also stated that “All student cases were investigated internally. All staff cases were dealt with under the university’s Disciplinary Policy and proceeded to an internal hearing.” When asked about dates from the internal hearings and their outcomes, the university stated that “Due to the low numbers of reports, we are unable to provide dates of the internal hearings as this may lead to identification”. When asked about the (redacted) content and outcome of the hearings, the University withheld such information under the exception for personal data in the FOI (Scotland) Act section 38(1)(b). A university spokesperson said to The Gaudie: “When a disclosure is made, we apply relevant policies when taking forward allegations of misconduct. Depending on the circumstances and the wishes of the victim, allegations of sexual misconduct can be taken forward under our Code of Practice on Student Discipline (non-academic) and the University’s Disciplinary or Grievance policies for staff.” “We will also be looking at how our recent work supporting a training pilot with Rape Crisis can be further explored at the University and any possible enhancements to our already robust risk assessment process when supporting disclosures within our own community.” On the other hand, CASE Aberdeen openly criticised universities’ approach when dealing with reports over sexual misconduct: “We are finding that the language used by universities when approaching the subject of consent can be problematic. The emphasis of responsibility is often placed on the individual to either consent to or not consent to said sexual activity, however, not much more is spoken about measures the university takes to identify and prevent predatory behaviour. This creates a culture of blame in which the survivors are left feeling as though they should have spoken up which creates a very narrow definition of ‘consent’ as just a verbal exchange. Overall, we believe that the university puts too much focus on reporting these incidents rather than preventing them. We firmly believe that proactive, rather than only reactive, measures must be taken by universities across the UK as a matter of urgency.” “How will the ‘complaint’ be processed and what does it mean for something to be internally investigated? What services will the university be providing to make sure the person reporting the incident is emotionally supported? What will the university do to make sure that the person feels safe on campus? These questions are vital to a person who is reporting sexual misconduct and they should be allowed a level of transparency from the University. The internal investigation process and the lack of transparency can lead students to feel like the “complaints systems are stacked against them” as the article states. “ Ivana Drdáková, AUSA Vice President for Welfare said: “The University needs to make sure that anyone who reports any incidents, is confident that they can receive the support they deserve. We are looking forward to continuing our work with the university to improve their procedures and to ensure the reporting process supports anyone affected by violence.” by Mireia Jimenez ‘Degrees of Abuse’ investigation reports fourteen sexual misconduct cases at the University of Aberdeen Photo courtesy of Anttoni James Numminen Photo courtesy of aljazeera According to the UCU, a USS member is estimated to lose anywhere between £240,000 to £730,000 in retirement. The University provided vague details about the nature of the complaints, saying that “less than five were dismissed or led to expulsion/ suspension”.

p.4 30.10.19 Photo courtesy of Anttoni James Numminen Created by students in a dorm room nearly two decades ago, Facebook has grown into one of the most powerful media platforms in the world; however, the company has announced plans to rebrand as ‘Meta.’ Notably, the change will not apply to the company's individual platforms, such as Instagram, WhatsApp, and the Facebook App, which will all retain their names. The change comes at a time of turmoil, as ‘Meta’ faces increased public and governmental scrutiny over its practices. A massive trove of documents leaked by whistleblower Francis Haugen demonstrates how the company put profits ahead of the common good, struggling to contain the spread of disinformation and inflammatory content through their platforms and holding important users (such as former President Trump) to different content standards. Known collectively as the ‘Facebook Papers,’ the cache was reviewed by multiple news organisations and provided (with redactions) to the US Congress. Speaking last month, Meta’s founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg rejected these statements, with the BBC reporting that he dismissed such reports as a ‘coordinated effort to selectively use leaked documents to paint a false picture of our company.’ In an article by the BBC, James Clayton, the BBC’s North American technology reporter, responded to the timing of the rebrand, commenting, ‘the move looks like Facebook is trying to divert attention away from the trove of negative stories hanging around the company. Critics believe Facebook has done this because the brand has become toxic…’ Clayton’s argument may be correct, as the wide majority of the public feels that social media can be a harmful product. Indeed, in a Pew Research poll conducted last year, over sixty per cent of people in the United States viewed social media as having a negative effect on the country as a whole. Likewise, YouGov polling in the UK from 2018 suggests that only 14% of British voters believe that social media is good for society. Despite this opposition, Meta’s products are more popular than ever before, boasting nearly six billion monthly active users over its top three platforms. Facebook announces rebranding to ‘Meta’ by Josh Pizzuto-Pomaco As Facebook attempts remarketing, questions over its practices remain. The event forms part of the university’s ‘Countdown to COP26’, a series of talks from climate experts leading up to the climate change conference being held in Glasgow. The countdown includes messages from university professors, ecologists, biologists and other experts in climate change. Professor David Burslem from the School of Biological Sciences said: “COP26 is a hugely significant event, particularly as it is taking place in Scotland, and we want to ensure that we maximise the opportunities for our students, staff and the wider community here in the north-east of Scotland. “Along with our ‘mock COP’ event for local school children, our hackathon and our COP26 sustainable futures seminar series, our climate capsule is a great opportunity to engage staff, students and young people with this landmark event and climate change in general. “Through our Aberdeen 2040 Strategy we have made a clear commitment to show leadership in working for the sustainable future of our planet. Academically, we are world leaders in climate science and the energy transition, and it is important that the university is visible in discussions and activities around COP26 that seek to engage our students, staff, and the wider community.” If you wish to get involved with the university’s climate activities, you can find information on the University of Aberdeen's website Climate Capsule to be buried in the Cruickshank Botanic Gardens The capsule will contain messages from staff and students at the university, as well as some local school children. “COP26 is a hugely significant event, particularly as it is taking place in Scotland, and we want to ensure that we maximise the opportunities for our students, staff and the wider community here in the north-east of Scotland." The change comes at a time of turmoil, as ‘Meta’ faces increased public and governmental scrutiny over its practices. by Olivia Mackenzie Smith Photo courtesy of Courtesy of Simon via Pixabay Photo courtesy of Tuomo licensed under CC BY-NC-SA [Zuckerburg ] dismissed such reports as a ‘coordinated effort to selectively use leaked documents to paint a false picture of our company.’ Polling in the UK from 2018 suggests that only 14% of British voters believe that social media is good for society. The event forms part of the university’s ‘Countdown to COP26’, a series of talks from climate experts leading up to the climate change conference being held in Glasgow.

30.10.19 p.5 University of Aberdeen libraries have collected over fifty-thousand pounds worth of library late fees from students and other readers since 2017. The information, obtained by /The Gaudie/ through a Freedom of Information (FoI) request, covers fees from all UoA libraries including Sir Duncan Rice, Taylor Law Library, the Divinity Library as well as the Foresterhill Medical Library. The amount collected in late fees, which range from as little as 20p per day to £0.75 per hour for Heavy Demand books, has steadily reduced year on year. In the 2017/18 academic year, £25,948 was collected in late fees. This was reduced to £18,222 the following year, while in 2019/20 the amount collected was just over six thousand pounds. The starkest drop has come in the past two academic years, mainly due to Covid19 and the relaxation of late fee rules. In the 2019/20 academic year, only £512 was collected while as of October this year, nothing had been collected in late fees. Speaking to The Gaudie, a University of Aberdeen spokeswoman said the University had “very deliberately sought to impose fewer fines over recent years”. The number then dropped to zero during lockdowns as “recalls were suspended and readers were not expected to return material or have to renew items themselves”. “Since services have returned, fines have been charged where other users have been kept waiting and some outstanding fines recovered, but we remain sympathetic to the difficulties caused by the current situation”, continued the spokesperson. Despite the relaxation of late fee policies, not all students have been pleased with access to library materials, mainly overdue books and those not available online. Responding, the University said it was unable to ensure that every book is available in digital form as “some simply don’t exist in that way”, adding that students should “raise this with their tutors” or contact [email protected] directly. “Our reading list service is designed to ensure we know which essential books our students need, and our policy is to buy them in ebook form if possible and in print if not. We can also arrange for scanned extracts to be in the Virtual Learning Environment, as long as they are copyright compliant.” Over £50,000 collected by University in library fines Amount collected has steadily decreased each year since 2017 By Anttoni James Numminen The demonstration involved sitting in at the club to take up space and only ordering tap water to ‘slow down business’. The protest came in the wake of several victims sharing their stories online about being spiked in clubs. The protesters kept information in a private group to prevent it from reaching Prohibition, however, it has been speculated that the nightclub may have taken measures to keep them out. One of the organisers, Ask Vestergaard, said that staff “were told to make sure people with bags weren’t allowed entrance. We had to put them in someone else’s apartment in order to enter.” Ultimately, the group could not hold their table and had to leave. The Gaudie reached out to Prohibition via social media for a comment, but they declined to comment. When asked about the impact of this event, Verstergaard shared that: “This protest was about accepting that Thursday’s boycott wasn’t going to be enough… I wanted to organize a direct action protest to directly harm Prohibition’s income.” To read more about the rising spiking incidents check last edition’s article ‘A new epidemic: the rise in spiking incidents forces women to extreme precautions and mobilise’. Photo courtesy of Anttoni James Numminen ‘Prohibit Prohibition’: a protest against the rise of spiking incidents in Aberdeen Despite the relaxation of late fee policies, not all students have been pleased with access to library materials, mainly overdue books and those not available online. In the 2019/20 academic year, only £512 was collected while as of October this year, nothing had been collected in late fees. A group of students held a demonstration at the Prohibition nightclub on Friday 29th of October The protesters kept information in a private group to prevent it from reaching Prohibition. By Olivia Mackenzie Smith Photo courtesy of Amy Smith

p.6 30.10.19 What the cave paintings tell us Looking into the past for the future through the hands of those before by Jordan Stead Seeing the photographs of the redstained handprints on the walls inside Spain’s Cueva de las Manos is a sight that would reduce anyone to tears. It certainly did for me. That auburn tapestry littered with the palms and fingers of people from a bygone age sparks feelings of wonder and melancholy. It is a monolith of our history on this planet, a staple piece of our species' early days. What, then, can prehistoric cave paintings tell us? What can we learn from the art of our ancestors? Cave paintings have been a worldwide phenomenon since their discovery, with subject matter that varies from patterns and shapes, the outline of hands and a menagerie of ancient animals. As prehistoric art, they serve as treasures of a distant past, of a haunting world covered in ice. Yet, they also remind us that as a species, we are not exactly worlds apart from our Ice Age ancestors. When was the last time you walked on a path and noticed drawings on the floor made from chalk or graffiti on the walls of tunnels? Handprints left on the back of dirty cars? The urge to leave our mark has been in us since the beginning. One of the most famous cave paintings in the world can be found in France, inside the Chauvet Cave. The artwork can be dated back to the Upper Palaeolithic, though some are disputed to be even older. Mostly in these cave walls are depictions of animals from the plains outside. The faces of bears, herds of mammoth and bison, the lynx and the wolf. They are familiar shapes, some even incredibly detailed, yet so distant in the past. One can easily imagine the scene: the cave, the only source of shelter from the hellish world outside, our forebears around a fire creating worlds on the walls. The purpose of these paintings found in Chauvet is in constant debate: was it for religious purposes? Visions? Documentation for hunting? All are valid, yet some would argue, and I would agree, for something simpler. They exist to tell our story of the world around us, to make art for the sake of it because we could. Our knowledge of cave paintings has also changed over time. For Chauvet, we know that it wasn’t just our ancestors who sought refuge in the caves, but remnants of Cave Bear bones and Ibex were also discovered. There is something wonderful in the knowledge that these caves were shared, that they served as a shelter across different species through time. This, with the paintings of animals on the wall, show that at one point in history we lived symbiotically with the world. It was not us and nature, but us amongst and working with nature. We clearly held a high regard for the animals beyond the cave mouth, beyond the light of the fire, if we spent our time in this shelter painting them. Further discoveries elsewhere have revealed the tender natures of our ancestors. Paintings known as ‘flutings’ found on the upper levels of walls and ceilings have been identified as creations from children, carried on the shoulders of adults in order to reach. Thus, these paintings tell a different story to the usual, cliché ‘caveman’ trope, as seen in modern day. Instead, they reveal a community of people, braving on in a harsh and precarious world. When you step back and look at these paintings, it can take a hit. You begin to realise that these were people, long gone and nameless yet immortalised forever on the cave walls. You begin to think about the details; what they may have looked like, what they felt, what they experienced in that tundra landscape. Did they think about the future? Did they know their creations would see torchlight once more? The animals seen in the Chauvet walls are, of course, no longer native to France. Yet their appearance is an almost eerie statement of how much our world has changed, and the changes we as a species are responsible for. Right now, the planet is hurtling towards climate disaster. The current epoch has been dubbed as the Anthropocene, a moniker to describe humanity’s influence on the planet's rapidly changing climate. For the first time on this planet’s history, it is our actions that are propelling Earth to a crisis. There is nothing natural about it. Our time on this planet beats on painfully with rising sea levels, melting ice caps and wildfires in its wake. The people of the cave paintings faced the same adversity with the relentless conditions of the Ice Age. At a crucial point in our history, our numbers had dwindled down to a mere thousand across the globe, and the possibility of total extinction was imminent. Of course, we recovered, but if history tells us one thing, it is that we cannot remain comfortable. In this time of crisis, our value towards life other than ourselves on the planet must change. We are not as omniscient as we would like to believe, and nature has no quarrel in reminding us of this each day. Back then, we identified ourselves inside nature, not outside of it. Its story was weaved with ours and I believe this is something we must return to. And so, we look to these paintings. Their presence is a testimony not only to our incredible history on this planet, but to our fallibility as well. They bring light to the better nature of our kind; our desires to create art and tell stories, to teach the joy of creating art. We can look at the hands in Cueva de las Manos and see us within them. These are our ancestors waving back at us, saying hello from a world covered in ice. The occupation of Cueva de las Manos lasted for around ten thousand years, sheltering different and countless people over time. Hands have been placed on hands, overlapping each other to form a collage of human experience. Before the cave collapsed and was later rediscovered, its last inhabitants were viewing handprints that were as old as agriculture is to us in the present day. Did they too wonder, like we do now, what kind of people left these prints? What stories did they want to tell? For me, these handprints say, “We were here, please do not forget about us.” There is something wonderful in the knowledge that these caves were shared, that they served as a shelter across different species through time. This, with the paintings of animals on the wall, show that at one point in history we lived symbiotically with the world. Photo courtesy of Klaus Hausmann via Unsplash We are not as omniscient as we would like to believe, and nature has no quarrel in reminding us of this each day. Back then, we identified ourselves inside nature, not outside of it. Its story was weaved with ours and I believe this is something we must return to. Right now, the planet is hurtling towards climate disaster. The current epoch has been dubbed as the Anthropocene, a moniker to describe humanity’s influence on the planet's rapidly changing climate.

30.10.19 p.7 The song and dance of mesmeric chaos 'He She It' by the musical artist Senti by Khushvita Singh While concerts and entertainment venues were shut in the Covid-19 lockdown, local Aberdeen music artist, Senti, was saving lives as a doctor, as well as making music to uplift our fallen moods. Having to postpone his single due to Covid, he is now ready to showcase his amazing talents to the world with his new single, 'He She It'. The sultry track is a perfect culmination of soothing calm and energising passion. Having spoken to him in an interview, his charming nature and sense of calm reflects in his music. The way he handcrafts each moment of the song from the instruments to each word sung is incredibly graceful. He says of himself, “I am a very romantic person and a lot of times I am inspired by my personal experiences, and I love writing songs about feelings, holding each emotion tight and letting it have its own moment.” Senti demonstrates his thoughtfulness in the way he talked about keeping personal experiences alive, using a lot of personal poems he had written for his lyrics. “Writing poetry has been a pastime of mine where I love to explore my feelings and put everything down on paper, then use it in my music”. His spectacular writing can be said to really shine through in his music. With impeccable attention to detail and touching lyrics intertwining with the mesmerising beats swaying in the Mediterranean bliss, Senti is indeed Scotland’s Enrique Iglesias. His debut single 'He She It' is a Latin inspired track rooted in the depths of his heart. It is a personal song where Senti has played all the instruments himself: classic guitar, bass, drumbeats, synthetic beats along with his astonishing vocals. His powerful voice oozes with romance and delicate longing. He said, “I wrote it about someone I met and is mainly about telling people to not let anything stop them from being with someone you love despite the long distance or anything else, be with the one you love.” This resonated with me and surely will with other listeners as well. The track is a world of its own with immense feelings and intensity. Speaking further, he said: “The song is essentially a stand against toxic mentality in modern love and to say that other people’s opinions don’t matter. All that matters is that you’re happy together.” Senti spent a lot of time in lockdown making music alongside working as a doctor. While being extremely passionate about medicine, music has always been his favourite hobby. Having travelled a lot to Spain as a child, his travels really inspired him to delve into the magic of Flamenco and Spanish instruments. He was also fascinated my metal rock, which has stirred him to fuse it into his music resulting in a romantic collage of melodies. Even though his musical journey paused with Covid, it did not stop him from making more music. He has a whole collection of songs up his sleeve, particularly inspired by famous Flamenco guitar artists. Speaking on the prospect of future live gigs, he is really looking forward to performing in front of audiences and fans, as well as performing alongside other musical artists. Furthermore in the interview I asked about his experiences of the pandemic and how they intertwined with his music. He said: “It was really important for me to eat right, take care of my sleep and drink enough water. These things really do make a difference and taking care of your mental health should always be a priority. It is super important especially now more than ever and I make it my priority to look after myself and others.” His advice is strong and well-intentioned. He is a passionate person, fearless with his passions. He believes that going after what you believe in is essential for mental health. He further says, “Never give up on what makes you happy.” Maybe this is why his song has a bold purpose and is so honest in its intentions. He argues that music has a place in creating happiness, saying: “There would be no point in me releasing my music if no one could dance to it.” Purposefully, he waited for the world to open up again before releasing his single so that more people could fully embrace it. This goes to show his caring nature and courage to follow his heart. Being heavily inspired by Flamenco, language is not a barrier in music for him. The hit classic Despacito is a huge motivation for Senti to work alongside artists in different genres to make beautiful music which combine intricate art forms and musical styles. His single is an attractive and alluring performance of feelings and complicated intentions clashing against barriers. It can be said to be refreshing to see an artist like Senti being bold and bright amidst a global pandemic and shifting cultural preferences. The warmth of the Spanish sun radiating from his presence reached me whilst I spoke with him on Zoom. Which is also present in his track, in every beat. His song is a poised love letter and a blaring anthem for lovers to be fearless. Having had to put his musical dreams on hold while battling on the frontlines on the greatest pandemic in modern history, the artist is now primed to heal fans physically and emotionally with his track He She It. With an accompanying music video showcasing the spectacular dancing skills of Aberdeen dance troupe The Valkyries, the single is sure to capture the hearts and imagination of audiences in his native Scotland, much adored Spain, and beyond. His sultry and steamy single will name all the emotions you never knew you were feeling. It will reach the fragments of your soul hidden and quiet. Don’t worry if your heart’s been broken, I am sure Senti will mend it back; whole and pure. You can now stream the single on Spotify. Photo courtesy of Nainoa Shizuru via Unsplash I wrote it about someone I met and is mainly about telling people to not let anything stop them from being with someone you love despite the long distance or anything else, be with the one you love. He is a passionate person, fearless with his passions. He believes that going after what you believe in is essential for mental health. The warmth of the Spanish sun radiating from his presence reached me whilst I spoke with him on Zoom. Which is also present in his track, in every beat. His song is a poised love letter and a blaring anthem for lovers to be fearless.

p.8 30.10.19 Cutting down on deforestation At the United Nations, 26th Collection of the Parties (COP26) summit, over 100 world leaders have agreed to the Leader’s Declaration on Forest and Land Use deal, pledging to not only end but reverse the effects of deforestation. This is the first major deal made during the summit, with the target date set for the beginning of the next decade. The deal is funded by £14 billion of public and private funds, hoping to be much more successful than the previous deal made in 2014. Some of the signatories include the President of China - Xi Jinping, the President of Brazil - Jair Bolsonaro, and the President of Nepal - Bidhya Devi Bhandari. Deforestation is a huge problem causing climate change. Global temperatures rise as the level of CO2 in the atmosphere, which can be absorbed by trees is reduced, resulting in CO2 warming up the planet. Land-clearing is responsible for almost 25% of all greenhouse gas emissions, and the UN estimates that since 1990, 420 million hectares of forest have been destroyed across the world. These statistics really put into perspective just how destructive deforestation is and how vast the areas are that are being felled. Levels of deforestation are at the highest they have been since 2008 in the Amazon rainforest, with Brazil suffering the worst loss of forested land to agriculture out of all the COP26 attending countries. The main motive for deforestation and felling trees is to make space for agriculture to grow palm oil, soya and cocoa. This also disturbs and destroys many organisms and animals’ natural habitat, forcing them out of their homes, reducing the space in which they have to live. Similarly, to most of the effects of climate change, deforestation affects developing countries much more than it will ever affect developed countries. The Leader’s Declaration on Forest and Land Use deal highlights the disparities for these countries, mentioning not only the consequences to the land but also to indigenous and local communities. The deal itself states that it aims to conserve forests; implement sustainable trade; build resilience in areas vulnerable to the effects of climate change; redesign agricultural programs; increase international financial commitments; and ensure robust policies and systems are in place to allow for economies to become more sustainable. None of these goals seem too outrageous or unrealistic yet, as previous deals and treaties have shown, promises similar to this are rarely kept and are therefore unsuccessful. When push comes to shove, economic growth often over-rules saving the environment in many of the world leader’s eyes. The deal states that all the signatory countries, “recognise that to meet our land use, climate, biodiversity and sustainable development goals, both globally and nationally, will require transformative further action in the interconnected areas of sustainable production and consumption; infrastructure development; trade ; finance and investment; and support for smallholders, Indigenous Peoples, and local communities, who depend on forests for their livelihoods and have a key role in their stewardship.” Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, also stated when addressing the summit, "we have to stop the devastating loss of our forests…[and] end the role of humanity as nature's conqueror, and instead become nature's custodian". The world leaders definitely understand the urgency and necessity of the deal, it’s just whether nine years will be enough time to achieve what they have signed to, and we only have two months left of 2021… The Leader’s Declaration on Forest and Land Use deal is a momentous step in the right direction, but there is a lot of scepticism surrounding the reality of it being fulfilled. Priority is going to be given to areas which experience large levels of deforestation and are already affected by climate change, such as the Congo Basin. This should target the areas which require the most restorative work and implementation, and hopefully protect and reverse some of the consequences of mass deforestation. The deal is the most drastic effort we have seen from world leaders to combat climate change, and as all 110 countries that signed the deal, make up for 90% of the world’s forests, let’s hope that they maintain their promises and save the planet. by Holly Ferguson This week at the COP26 summit in Glasgow, world leaders have promised to end deforestation by 2030 One of the best ways to predict the future is to look at trends from the past. This concept underlies the science of paleoclimatology - the study of past climates. Temperature changes that have previously occurred over a millennium have occurred rapidly over recent decades. The global temperature is now warmer than any time in the last 120,000 years. The last warm period was due to the Earth’s axis shifting and orbit changing, whereas today it is due to rising carbon levels in the atmosphere. One study has shown that the atmospheric concentration of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere today is greater than at any time in the past two million years. The technological advancements since the industrial revolution have led to great human progress, but they have also led to carbon emissions increasing at a terrifying rate, destroying our climate. Hope can be found in new methods to study what Earth’s climate looked like throughout its history, as we can use this to predict the climate of our future. Small air bubbles become trapped when snow falls heavily and then compresses. This forms polar ice sheets that act as permanent records of what the climate was like thousands of years ago. These ice sheets form in layers, so ice from deeper down holds air from older climates. The age of this air can be quite accurately estimated up to 800,000 years ago, and the tiny bubbles of past climates can be analysed in laboratories to determine the concentration of greenhouse gases they contain. The amount of oxygen, carbon dioxide and methane can tell us how warm the atmosphere was at the time the air was trapped, giving us a good idea of the trends in temperature change up till now. Tree rings are a useful indicator of recent climate history. The annual rings that form in the trunk can differ in width, density and colour, all indicators of what the climate was like that year. Trees can be found all over the world and historic tree samples can be found in preserved historical artefacts like churches and boats. It is mostly tree ring data that helped uncover the medieval climate anomaly, where Europe was uncharacteristically warm in the Middle Ages and the Dantean anomaly where, around 1310, wet summers resulted in crop failure that killed off a sixth of the European population. Fluctuations of the climate in the past will help us predict and prepare for such events in our future. Tiny fossils preserved in the seabed can also be good indicators of past climates. The comprising elements of fossil shells are related to the amount of carbon dioxide that was in the ocean when the organism was alive. The ratio of different element isotopes can also be used. Isotopes are atoms of elements that can be heavier or lighter depending on the number of neutrons they have. For example, oxygen has two very common isotopes in nature, Oxygen-16 and Oxygen-18. In colder climates more Oxygen-18 can be found in ocean water as lighter Oxygen-16 more readily freezes into sea ice. So, fossils that have more Oxygen-18 in their chemical make-up must have been alive in cooler climates. Fossilised coral can be particularly useful as it lives for many years and grows in rings. Each ring can be analysed for its isotope ratio and used to detect small changes in the climate from thousands of years ago. Climate change is a ‘natural’ process that has occurred ever since there has been a climate on Earth. But studies of the climate in the past have revealed that the rate at which the atmosphere is warming is unprecedented, and all evidence points to human activity. The carbon released today will stay there for hundreds of years, the effects cannot be quickly reversed or halted, so there is no doubt we will have to live with challenges of a changing climate. Hopefully this form of science can be used to help us predict what will happen in the near future and hopefully spur world leaders into taking some real action in preventing the climate disasters that we are already witnessing across the globe. After all, Earth will survive a changing climate but life as we know it will not. Messages from the past: ways to predict what our changing climate will look like Evidence of what the climate was like thousands of years ago can be found across nature, providing much needed information on the effects of a changing climate by Lily Steel Photo credit of Roya Ann Miller via Unsplash Fluctuations of the climate in the past will help us predict and prepare for such events in our future.

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p. 2 facebook/thegaudie | @thegaudie | gaudie.co.uk An apple a day keeps the essays at bay With love, Team iV Editors Anttoni James Numminen Amy Smith IV Editors ARTS ([email protected]) Editors - Rory Buccheri - Miles Stebens Deputy Editors - Ida Sofie Eltang Wengler - Isabelle Hampton-Zabotti LIFE AND STYLE ([email protected]) Editor - Kendra Clark Deputy Editor - Kathryn Ritchie GAMING AND TECH ([email protected]) Editor - Graeme Sutherland Deputy Editor - Ask Vestergaard Production Mathilde Communal Julie Toft Carlsen Amy Smith Theodore Williamson Archanaa Manivannan Georgia Kartsagkouli Copy Editors Ava Lindberg Arianna Ferioli Judit Garab Paula Becka Front page Parel Joy iV

p. 3 arts | parody The Man on the Train (2021) A Review? This review contains spoilers I left the Stonehaven Film Festival’s screening of Douglas Gaudy’s eco-thriller The Man on the Train with my ears ringing from rapturous applause, my leg gushing blood from the shard of sizzling shrapnel that had imbedded itself into my knee, and my brain sparking with the knowledge that I would almost certainly die a terrible, hyperthermic death before I saw another film that was anywhere near as good as this. Part film and part performance art, The Man on the Train follows brilliant journalist Isti Numminen (played by the incredible method actor Anttoni Miskolczy, who spent four months moonlighting as a writer for a student newspaper in preparation for this role) as he reports on the PIG26 Climate Change Conference. The film is shot entirely on its titular train, creating a cramped and foreboding atmosphere from the start – immediately, we know that something is wrong. The tension kicks into instant overdrive with the revelation that brilliant journalist Isti Numminen isn’t supposed to be on this train – in fact, he is on the verge of a panic attack because brilliant journalist Isti Numminen accidentally booked a flight to Edinburgh despite the fact that the PIG26 Climate Change Conference takes place in Glasgow. We as viewers are already on the edges of our seats, and the opening credits have only just finished thanking their Patreon backers. And then the punches keep coming. Brilliant journalist Isti Numminen gets a call from his editor telling him that the conference has already started and that brilliant journalist Isti Numminen’s viewers demand to know the truths that no other news outlets are brave enough to tell. So, in a sphincter-clenching twist, brilliant journalist Isti Numminen tells his crew to turn on the camera, and decides to report on the PIG26 Climate Change Conference despite not actually being there. He sits in the train and lies through his teeth, but since he is brilliant journalist Isti Numminen, his lies are true. While all of this is happening on screen, the performance art part of the experience is in full swing. Arrayed along the balconies of the Dunnottar Grand Theatre is an orchestra playing live music. But their instruments are hardly the standard affair: instead of cellos and flutes and contrabass balalaikas, the orchestra blows on plastic straws, drums on plastic bottles, and strums on the dried intestines of seagulls drowned in oil spills. And with these recycled instruments, they play recycled melodies – everything from Smash Mouth’s ‘All Star’ to George Michael’s ‘Careless Whisper’ (all paid for, of course – the message at the beginning of the film stating that ‘all music in this film was stolen’ is pure theatrics). One would be forgiven for thinking that this was all the performance had to offer. The music had a haunting quality that made the film feel like a requiem – a rendition of the Benny Hill ‘Yakety Sax’ song played with plastic sixpack Coca-Cola rings with the turtle corpses still attached comes to mind as particularly beautiful. And yet, there was more. At the end of the film, after an unbroken 23-minute take in which brilliant journalist Isti Numminen hysterically whispers into a microphone about how NFTs make trees grow faster while slowly putting on a Captain Planet onesie, the train finally arrives at Glasgow. And suddenly, we are greeted with the film’s first shot taking place outside of the train: a shot identical to the Lumière Brothers’ The Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat. At this scene, every member of the audience held their collective breaths. The recycled orchestra mimicked the chugga-chugga of the incoming locomotive by breaking the bones of a group of seals accidentally scooped up by a deep-sea trawler. The train came closer. Closer. Everyone stiffened. We were all logical people. We all knew that it was just a film. A 2D film, at that. We had nothing to be afraid of. And yet – the train came closer. And then the wall exploded and the cinema screen toppled over and a very real train burst into the cinema and crushed the three screaming front rows beneath its wheels before bursting into a thousand shards of razor-sharp metal. There is so much blood. I can’t feel my leg. I can barely keep consciousness as I write this review, but this has to be said. The people have to know. The Man on the Train is transcendent. It is revolutionary. It is simultaneously a raging manifesto and a nihilistic threnody for the doom of the world. It is a literal act of terrorism. And it is the best movie I have ever seen. Graphic courtesy of Ask Vestergaard. by Ask Vestergaard

p. 4 arts | music Personal favourites marked with an asterisk/* Biffy Clyro is back! The Scottish trio released their ninth studio album The Myth of the Happily Ever After on October 22nd. Vocalist and guitarist Simon Neil describes it as a reaction to their 2020 release A Celebration of Endings: ‘This album is a real journey, a collision of every thought and emotion we’ve had over the past eighteen months.’ The album opens with ‘DumDum’ - a calm and slow tune claiming that everything is fine. The song has a powerful melodic and lyrical progression that turns the notion of ‘Everything's great, It's all been a pleasure’, from the initial verse, to ‘Everything's fake, They're all under pressure’ in the second verse. This sense of struggle and hopelessness emerges through the first songs of the album, with tracks such as ‘A Hunger in Your Haunt’,* ‘Denier’, ‘Separate Missions’, ‘Witch’s Cup’,* ‘Holy Water’* and ‘Errors in the History of God’. These songs are a mixed bag of emotionpacked lyrics and experimental melodies, which allow new listeners and long-time fans alike to feel understood in a time of confusion and frustration. This indulgence in melancholy is shaken around the halfway mark of the album. Named after a Japanese racehorse, which is known for placing last at races, ‘Haru Urara’* starts with calm indie and lo-fi vibes. Translating the idea of doing your best but still not doing well, this song transforms into a powerful message where the band chants: ‘We rise, We will rise, We are the light that you need’, which seems to be the theme of all remaining songs on the album. This idea is finalised in the closing track ‘Slurpy Slurpy Sleep Sleep’, which is about leaving things in the past, learning from them and moving on to go through life with love in your heart. by Elena Brand The Myth of the Happily Ever After - Biffy Clyro (2021) The Myth of the Happily Ever After - Biffy Clyro (2021) Background photo courtesy of Ashish Bogawat via Pixabay

p. 5 arts | music by Ryan Raitt Everyone knows the iconic theme written by Monty Norman. It has cemented itself as one of cinema’s greatest soundtracks since its creation in 1962. Therefore, it must be an incredibly daunting task to compose a Bond score. For the most recent adventure, No Time to Die (2021), legendary film composer Hans Zimmer delivers a surprising, inventive, and wholly classic addition to the Bond music catalogue. Opening with ‘Gun Barrel’, Zimmer showcases that he understands the importance of Bond’s musical history, providing a lavish and rousing version of Norman’s iconic opening. The love for the franchise shines throughout the first half of the album. ‘Matera’ and ‘Good To Have You Back’ beautifully incorporate musical cues last heard in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969), while ‘Square Escape’ perfectly encapsulates the high intensity soundtracks of Daniel Craig’s tenure. The pace brilliantly matches the excitement you get with each passing track. However, while the opening feels like a celebration of Bond, the second half feels like cues left over from Zimmer’s previous work. The compositions are solid, yet they feel uninspired; what keeps it afloat is the incorporation of musical motifs from Billie Eilish’s titular theme song. ‘Final Ascent’ closes Zimmer’s score and does so with gravitas. A seven-minute emotional piece, filled with sombre strings and a contemplative use of No Time to Die’s main notes; not only is it the perfect cap to Zimmer’s score, but it also feels like a perfect send off for Craig’s Bond. As a whole, No Time to Die feels divided. It is both an exciting celebration of Bond, and a safe and familiar score from the legendary composer. The pros certainly outweigh the cons, with No Time to Die featuring some of the finest pieces of music in the franchise since David Arnold’s Casino Royale (2006). Zimmer takes over the reins quite confidently and delivers a Bond soundtrack for the ages. Photos courtesy of MGM / Linnaea Mallette under CC0 Public Domain No Time to Die (2021) Soundtrack by Hans Zimmer

p. 6 The French Dispatch (2021) arts | movies I embark on this journey taking me to the heart of another of Wes Anderson’s epic stories. I have tried to stay away from reviews and online columns for the past few weeks, so I go in blind. There are only two things that I know about the movie: it’s inspired by the New Yorker, and it’s directed by Wes Anderson, whose cinematic genius I have come to adore in the past years. The movie is divided in four parts, each narrating a detached story and based on one particular section of the newspaper magazine: news, local, arts, and life and style. The black and white featuring in most scenes emphasises the suspension in time, also serving as a connecting thread between the completely different stories. Each has something very Andersonian to offer: the ridicule to the art world, the phantasmagoric attempted neutrality of news, the hilarious and tragic mixing perfectly in a story about taste and flavour. Not least, wordplays such as ‘typographic memory’: ‘I recall you have a photographic memory, sir’ the interviewer asks. ‘Typographic memory. I can remember every paragraph, every love letter, every note I’ve ever written.’ I like to think of this bit as a meta into the script-learning that is beyond all these scenes, so natural yet part of a brilliantly constructed world. When it comes to magically constructed worlds, Wes Anderson hardly ever disappoints. Yet, despite the impressive endeavour in each story, when put all together, they are somewhat dissonant. The creativity shines through, but the single narratives each create their own small climax, which results in a rather dullmoving, anticlimactic overall picture. Leaving the cinema, I have a bittersweet feeling; even though I am still seeing the Wes Anderson genius, this is the dullest of his films so far. Why flick through old newspapers when you can sit through movie after fantastic movie at the Belmont Cinema Filmhouse? Get your Student/Young Person membership today and enter for a fiver! by Rory Buccheri by Ryan Raitt # KeepSohosSecrets; a request from Edgar Wright himself, the creative mind behind such classics as Shaun of the Dead (2004) and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010), regarding his new sixties infused horror flick Last Night in Soho (2021). A request that I will wholeheartedly abide by. Not because there’s a jaw-dropping twist, but because the plot is very unexpected. For Wright’s first foray outside of his playful and comedic style proves to be one of the most enthralling and engaging thrillers of the year, one that deserves to be seen without knowing anything prior, if possible. Wright and co-writer Krysty WilsonCairns have penned a script that is both a love letter to ‘Swinging London’ and a surprising cautionary tale about romanticising the past. Ellie (Thomasin McKenzie) absolutely adores the sixties, from the fashion to the music, but once she starts to bizarrely experience the life of rising star Sandie (Anya Taylor-Joy), she starts to see that her idolised time period is not as pretty as it seems. While the film works brilliantly as a throwback British horror film (à la Michael Powell’s Peeping Tom (1960)), it also serves as an incredibly unnerving commentary on the use of power and control within modern society. While Wright indulges in giallo-heavy moments and set pieces, it is the smaller scenes, which involve disturbing power plays, that provide the film’s scariest moments. Small winks and crooked smiles cut deeper than any knife. It is only within the film’s final act where Wright’s execution slightly stumbles. Sure to be divisive, Soho swings for some heavy messages in a way that will unfortunately turn some viewers off completely. Within the context however, I think Wright sticks the landing for his seedy and, at times, uncomfortable thriller. As always Taylor-Joy is captivatingly elegant, commanding the screen every chance she gets, but Soho’s true standout is Thomasin McKenzie. Starting off as quiet and shy, her portrayal of Ellie drastically shifts as she experiences more and more horror. McKenzie’s stares that are full of terror, mixed with her bloodcurdling screams, showcase some of the best acting in a horror film this year; her reactions truly are chilling at times. Matt Smith is also worth mentioning, delivering a very unsettling and downright eerie performance throughout. While the late, great Dame Diana Rigg delivers her final film appearance, showcasing her talent effortlessly and leaving a lasting impression that remains long after the credits roll. Last Night in Soho is fundamentally an Edgar Wright film. His charm behind the camera and love for cinema is felt from the first frame to the very last, but this is certainly a distinct addition to his filmography. One that proves his mastery as a filmmaker. The recreation of sixties’ London, the beautiful costume design and the fantastic soundtrack are enough to leave audiences in awe, the genuinely scary story unravelling throughout along with an enthralling performance from McKenzie make this one of the most impressive horrors of the year. Last Night in Soho (2021)

p. 7 arts | netflix photo courtesy of Sophie Dulac Bo Burnham: Inside (2021) Review by Miles Stebens You’ve heard your friends make jokes about Inside, you’ve heard the TikTok sounds, you’ve seen the memes. If you still haven’t watched it and have been waiting for a sign to do so: this is it. What are you waiting for? Go watch it right now! It’s available on Netflix. After five years of taking a break from performing, Bo Burnham is back and, boy, does he deliver. Written, directed, filmed, edited by and starring Bo Burnham - and only Bo Burnham - his comedy special, Inside, was rightfully nominated for six Emmy Awards, three of which he took home. In only 90 minutes, Bo Burnham manages to make you reconsider your entire life. The special was filmed during 2020 in his guest house, and many of the songs reflect this absurd and surreal year, as well as the detrimental consequences these ordeals have had on our mental health (e.g. ‘Shit’, ‘All Time Low’). What makes Inside so raw and intimate is his exploration of the performativity of his act, with providing behind the scenes moments of him setting up his gear or breaking down. As always, he doesn’t shy away from criticising society in various ways in songs such as ‘How the World Works’, ‘Unpaid Intern’, or ‘That Funny Feeling’. Inside, to describe it as succinctly as I can, is a rollercoaster of emotions, at once making you laugh, cry, think - sometimes at the same time. There is no respite as you are hauled from one scene to the next without smooth transitions. Believe me when I say you will be left speechless by the end of it; you’ll want to watch it again immediately while also running as far away from it as possible. The compromise is to listen to Inside (The Songs), the accompanying album which contains all the songs without the in-between sketch scenes. While the songs are arguably the best thing about the special, I implore you to also actually watch it, if only to be able to appreciate the genius of Bo Burnham having done all of this by himself. While the sketches in between are an invaluable addition to the experience, just seeing the songs performed is incredible (case in point: ‘Problematic’, ‘White Woman’s Instagram’, ‘Welcome to the Internet’. Thank me later). Be warned: this special will live rent-free in your head, and you won’t be able to listen to anything else for weeks after. Photo courtesy of Netflix Media Centre. Well, Well, Look Who’s Inside Again...

p. 8 gaming and tech | adaptations Good God. It’s quite masochistic to anticipate movie adaptations of video games, but it’s difficult not to get mad at the Uncharted teaser trailer. Or at least stand in stupefied wonder: The film isn’t even out yet— how do I already hate it? Obviously, you can’t really tell how good a movie is by watching the trailer, but the Uncharted teaser is really something special. Special, in that I don’t think I’ve ever seen fans react so viciously to something like this. Then again, there was the Sonic one a few years ago that prompted a complete animation rehaul of the movie. And then there’s last year’s Monster Hunter. Oh, and the hilarious reaction to the cast list for the upcoming Mario film. Huh. What is it about video game adaptations, then, that pisses people off so much before the films have even been released? I think the trailer for Uncharted might be a useful case study here. The trailer itself, while pretty bad, really just appears to be a belowaverage action blockbuster. Tom Holland plays Nathan Drake, the charismatic historian/adventurer and we watch him jump from set piece to set piece while characters engage in stilted dialogue and awkward oneliners. Throw in a few clichés and that’s all there really is from the film perspective—and, of course, we can’t really tell how everything will look and feel in the cinema, so there is some room for doubt. But aside from the natural frustration at a bad trailer and what this might indicate for the film, there are other things that need to be taken into consideration. The main problem is the casting. In the games, Nathan Drake is around 30-34 years old. Now, I like Tom Holland but he couldn’t buy paracetamol without an ID check, and it’s pretty difficult to imagine him pulling off a version of the character that works as a faithful adaptation. Similarly, a lot of fans are pretty frustrated at the casting of Mark Wahlberg as Sully, a moustachioed, grey-haired man at least 10 years his senior. It really just plays into the ludicrous obsession that Hollywood has with origin stories. Why must a film set itself up for a long-running franchise? Why can’t things just exist in an already fleshed-out world? The world of Uncharted is already well established in the games, and Indiana Jones should be proof enough that treasure-hunting stories are the perfect genre for throwing the viewer into the middle of something. It’s ironic because Uncharted 3 actually creates an origin story for Nate and Sully, but this film, in a rush to get Tom Holland hanging off a plane, seems to have chosen to ignore the more drawn-out development that that story demanded. To be clear, I’m not suggesting that this will make the Uncharted film inherently terrible, but I am suggesting that even if it’s a masterpiece, it’s not likely to be considered a faithful adaptation. (And it’s also probably going to be terrible). These kinds of problems are rife in movie adaptations of video games, where filmmakers often seem to find it challenging to lean into the right things to please both fans and newcomers. The upcoming Mario movie, for example, might end up being a lot of fun, but a lot of people are still going to resent it for making them listen to Chris Pratt for two hours. It’s also pretty difficult to believe that someone sat down and wrote a film for Mario because of the inspiration that stems from his sheer narrative power. The point here isn’t that all video game movies are solely driven by capitalistic incentives, but that they really have to go the extra mile to justify their existence. This is because video games are already a visual medium, and the transition to cinema removes the interactivity that often functions as a foundation for what makes a series enjoyable. Uncharted is in an especially weird situation because the series is very obviously inspired by Indiana Jones: Nate investigates unexplored ruins, hunts for treasure, travels the globe and fights off bad guys—almost dying at every step of the way. The games work largely because they are built on a foundation of Hollywood adventure blockbusters, and so they get away with ludicrous set-pieces by putting the player in the centre of the kind of stuff they’ve grown to love in cinema. Transforming all of that into a movie runs the same kind of risk as sending an important email after you’ve ran it twice through Google Translate. The Uncharted movie was always going to be risky because it could so easily become just another generic blockbuster. It’s such a shame that the trailer perfectly fits that description. I really hope I’ve jumped the gun on this and that the film exceeds my expectations. It would be really depressing if the Mario film was better. Oh God. by Graeme Sutherland Ranting about the new Uncharted trailer *deep inhale* Photo courtesy of Naughty Dog via Twitter

p. 9 gaming and tech | rpg First published in 1974, Dungeons & Dragons is a fantasy tabletop role-playing game that lets players create their own characters and embark on an endless number of journeys, as far as your imagination will take you. It gained enormous traction in the 70s and 80s and defined the RPG medium as we know it today. However, with the rise of video games and a preconceived idea of a negative ‘nerd’ culture around D&D, the popularity of the tabletop game died down for some time. But D&D is being revived for a new generation, thanks in part to internet phenomenon Critical Role, a company that focuses on providing D&D-related content to their millions of supporters. Started in 2015, the Critical Role web series stars eight voice actors whose work include The Last of Us, Overwatch, and Naruto who come together once a week to re-enter the world of Exandria and get lost in storytelling. In case you are not aware of the impact Critical Role has made on the internet, lets quickly run down some of their stats. They are the highest-earning Twitch channel over the past two years and have over 828,000 followers on the platform, as well as an additional 1.4 million subscribers on YouTube. Of course, it is easy to see these numbers and realise how much impact their fresh perspective brought to D&D audiences. Not only was Critical Role sponsored by D&D Beyond (the official digital toolset and game companion of the official D&D fifth edition), but the two companies have also worked together to create two campaignsetting books and are in the midst of creating an official campaign book. Out of every D&D streamer out there—and there are plenty of them— what is it about Critical Role that has brought them so much love and support from everyone? Firstly, the voice actors have brought so much life to the campaigns they run. The cast, including Ashley Johnson, Laura Bailey, and Sam Riegel, add personality to their characters and their work helps bring each one to life. The Dungeon Master, Matthew Mercer, created a world that is easy to get lost in, with numerous campaigns running through the timeline and more lore with each addition; indeed, the world has become so expansive that there is a role in the company with the sole purpose of keeping track of it all. In a world where millions of dollars are being spent on television and film productions bringing fantastical stories to life on the big screen, things can get overwhelming. In a digital age where anyone can make content and go viral, there is a sense of relatability when it comes to Critical Role. Whilst they do spend a lot of money as a company designing their set and adding value to each campaign that they run, at the core of the channel is eight people meeting up weekly and playing a game of D&D. With each stream lasting four hours and only one short break taken during each one to give viewers and the players a chance to top up their drinks and re-energise, it becomes easy to immerse yourself into the stories and to follow along easily. After seeing how much fun it is to watch a game of D&D, it is clear to see why many viewers would want to create their own games afterwards. Despite the enormous commercial success of the project, Critical Role have managed to maintain a real sense of community and continually use the platform they have earned to put good out into the world. In the opening of every episode, the cast talks about charities that they work with, having recently launched the Critical Role Foundation in September 2020. These precious minutes of streaming time could be used to push for more sales into their company, but instead they recognise the good that their fans can do and encourage them to do just that. Additionally, members of the crew frequently interact with their fans and have them participate within in the campaign, either by hosting giveaways or featuring fan art of the characters throughout each episode. It can seem scary to jump straight into a game like D&D and have no idea where to begin but watching something like Critical Role can help not only by establishing the rules and structure, but by showing how fun and creative it can be. Whilst it may just be eight famous voice actors bringing this world to life, it is also eight friends playing a game and bouncing off each other, creating something that millions tune in for every single week. What might have once seemed old-fashioned now has a new following in this technological generation. Here’s to many more years of Dungeons & Dragons. Photos courtesy of M. Maggs via Pixabay / jplenio via Pixabay. by Amy Smith Reviving Dungeons & Dragons Reviving Dungeons & Dragons How internet sensation Critical Role brought the fantasy game to a new generation

p. 10 life and style | love I f the term soulmate threw you off, fair enough. Call it what you want: The One, Prince Charming, the love of your life, your better half, partner in crime. I really don’t care. The idea is: what are the signs it will work and what are the signs it won’t? We live in a capitalist society that discards clothes instead of mending them, trashes takeout rice instead of reusing it for a meal the following day, and … we do the same with partners. We don’t spend nearly enough time considering if we really want something. As a result, we’re constantly busy ridding ourselves of stuff that we picked up almost accidentally. I say: Let’s be more sustainable in our choices. Partners included. Perhaps I should start by owning up to the fact that, while researching this, I was fully prepared to come to the realization that my own relationship doesn’t make the “soulmatecut”. When reading these seven points, I’m sure you’ll think of people - perhaps your best friends’, parents’, or own relationship. I intended for it to be this way. This article is going to give it to you straight. We all deserve some guidance because I’m sure we can all agree that dating can be confusing as hell. EASE The number one thing you hear at weddings, when people retell the early stages of their relationship, is: “it just felt so right”, or “it felt like we knew each other”. You don’t tend to hear: “Yeah, so, we didn’t really talk, and he was actively trying to get with other people, then I finally hunted him down and made him date me exclusively”. In my opinion, Shakespeare had it all wrong when he wrote; “The course of love never ran smooth”. Love should be easy. It’s life that tends to rock the boat. When I started dating my boyfriend, I knew I could trust him, I was made to feel safe, and he was not playing games. Of course, some games are part of the early dating phase and I am not encouraging you to give out right away. However, there is a difference between the classic ‘waiting a bit before you text back’ and outright ghosting someone. As Shallon Lester says: there’s gamesmanship and sportsmanship. I love those terms because they encapsulate the difference: Sportsmanship is the excitement at the beginning. It is healthy, fun and it keeps things spicy. Gamesmanship. Man, all I can say is: why? For the people in the back, let me say it extra clearly: Don’t be with someone who keep ghosting you. Ghosting is gamesmanship. Are you in this loop of being miserable whenever they ignore you, and elated (and getting on your friend’s nerves) when they see you once a week? If so, it might be time to reconsider if they are worth your while. ACCEPTANCE Far too often, we look at a person’s potential or nostalgically think back to how it was in the beginning. I don’t care what they did on your first date. I also don’t care about how you’re sure they’ll mature. All I’m interested in is: what was today like? Who are they right at this moment? If every day from now on was exactly like today, would they make the cut? It’s important to think about whether their level of ambition, empathy, or sex drive meet your needs long term. Should they never change, would that be okay with you? This section is called “acceptance” because I want you to reflect on the reality of who this person is… and compare that to the reality of your needs. Do the two align? Please understand that people don’t change - at least not as much or as quickly as we like to believe. Don’t be desperate. Do not settle for less. Do not desperately try to make something work that is not meant to be. Instead, look at your needs and what they have to offer. If it aligns, great. If not, that’s fine. CHEMISTRY I’m going to be brief on this next point: You can’t have someone who is just good on paper. Don’t tell yourself that sex isn’t that important. HOBBIES Do you have hobbies that overlap? Now, this doesn’t mean that she needs to get into video games or come to the sports bar with you. After all, we don’t ask you to perfect your eyeliner or up your online shopping skills (excuse the stereotypes). I do, however, think that it helps to share SOME hobbies. There was a study done in a care home, and the happiest couples were those who dance together. They had a shared hobby of going to dance class once a week. Dancing is physical, releases endorphins and bonding hormones (oxytocin) and it also gives you the option of going out to dance or staying in. The example of the old couples underpins the power of recreation. I made two podcast episodes on the best relationship advice my boyfriend and I have ever been given. One is literally titled “Dance With Your Partner”. If you’re interested, the podcast is called ‘Runa’s Ruminations’ and you can find it on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. The bottom line is: If your ideas of a fun weekend are diametrically opposed, that can create issues over time. If one person wants to puzzle and the other wants to hit up a club, you reach a point where they do their thing and you do yours … and over time a divide is created. SHARED GOALS When writing this article, I asked myself: What it is that makes people break up after high school? What makes high school dating, in most people’s lives, more manageable than dating in ‘the real world’? I think a big reason is that in high school, you have a shared goal… which is to graduate. In the real world, you and your partner need to create your own shared goal. Here, two challenges arise: do they share your goals, and are they fit to work toward this goal with you. A great example is kids: say, you both decide that you both want children, you then have to ask yourself “but would they make for a great mom or dad?” What you are moving towards, your goal, can be anything from writing a cookbook toge ther, to traveling, to building a house. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, the author of The Little Prince, writes: “Love is not two people looking at each other, it’s two people looking out in the same direction”. So, what are you and your partner moving toward? What is your shared goal? Naturally, these aren’t questions you tackle on the first date but at some point, you have to figure out where they stand. They, too, deserve to know where you stand. If you’re looking for a soulmate, a life partner, someone to build something with, you can’t lie to yourself or them. REBIRTH This sounds so cheesy, right? When you meet your soulmate there is a distinct ‘this is who I was before’ and ‘this is who I have grown into’. In this relationship, you are becoming a by Runa Sanna Seven signs they’re your souPhoto courtesy of roma_kaiuk via Unsplash

p. 11 ulmate life and style | environment better version of yourself every day. You work hard on yourself to make this last, to be a healthy partner, to be the best version of yourself for yourself- and by extension for your relationship. Your partner is encouraging in a supportive way. They don’t tell you: “If you don’t change x, I will leave you!”. They accept and love you so much that your bad habits don’t seem fair to not kick. You should find it easy to share your emotions, even if you usually struggle with that. They should be your safe space.You are happier, healthier, and stronger than you have ever been. GROWTH This last point goes back to acceptance: are you growing together? For this to be effective, we must employ a metaphor: basketball. Who you want as a partner, is someone who won’t take the ball from you but cheer from the sidelines. In other words, you want someone who supports your ambitions but respects and trusts your ability enough to stay in their lane. This point is really important because the only way for your partner to build confidence is for them to score by themselves. And the only way to show true support is by trusting that they are capable of scoring without your help. Here, we circle back to desperation: Don’t be desperate. When you are standing at the sidelines, supporting, you are essentially saying; “You got this. I believe in you, but I am not fighting this battle for you.” This also shows a lack of codependency because you are not manipulating the score. Should you not grow together, should they not score, your cheering time is over and you leave. You are trusting, by staying in your lane, that things will work out. And you are accepting, should they not, that this person is not meant for you. Punch the Plastic by Khushvita Singh Bold contours and filtered photos plot the digital landscape. With both cosmetic plastic surgery and nonsurgical procedures booming, the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons says their doctors were reporting up to 70% increases in requests for virtual consultations during lockdown. Seeing an article listing the range of cosmetic procedures celebrities had gotten really made me wonder why we are so concerned with filling ourselves with plastic whilst we desperately try to stop littering our planet with plastic? In 2015, researchers from Glasgow University examined 467 teenagers about their night-time social media use. Analysis showed that social media use was related to poorer sleep quality, lower self-esteem, higher anxiety and depression. The popularity of social media and photo editing has had a significant impact on the field of cosmetic surgery. In 2017, a survey of Facial Plastic surgeons found that 55 percent of surgeons reported seeing patients who requested to improve their appearance in selfies. This trend has led to the creation of a new term called “Snapchat Dysphormia,” which refers to the psychological phenomena of patients bringing filtered selfies to their surgeons to illustrate the desired surgical changes they want to achieve. A substantial body of research has documented the influence of traditional media on young women’s consideration of cosmetic surgery. A particular study aimed to examine whether exposure to images depicting facial cosmetic enhancements increases the desire for cosmetic surgery among young women. 118 women aged 18-29 years, indicated their social media use. The results showed that viewing images of females who have undergone cosmetic enhancements, strongly affected young women’s desire for cosmetic surgery. The visual nature of such applications naturally leads users to focus on physical appearance. The sociocultural theory suggests that people learn beauty standards within the social and cultural context. This ultimately may lead to people judging their own appearance based on the beauty standards defined by society and currently, the sociocultural standards throughout much of the world are established online. One of the most obvious dangers of having social media as the primary factor for establishing cultural standards is the potential creation of unrealistic norms and perceptual distortions. Joan Rivers once quipped, “I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die, they’ll donate my body to Tupperware.” But, are people truly happy with their cosmetic procedures? Individuals who undergo cosmetic surgery expect to look better, but they also want to feel happier and more confident Many argue that cosmetic surgery is oppressive. I think it is foolish. We are all beautiful. It’s okay if our facial structure isn’t the most trendy. It is because we are rare that we are so unlike each other. Yet we are trying to fit into moulds like one another, seeking the approval of friends and enemies alike. Experts agree that plastic surgery is most likely to stay as it’s unlikely that our demands for plastic surgery will decrease. Nonetheless, I believe that we should stop dumping plastic in us, just like we are trying to stop dumping plastic in our oceans. Photo courtesy of TheDigitalArtist via Pixabay.

p. 12 arts | netflix After finishing Squid Game in one weekend, I was pessimistic to believe that anything could come close. Any description of Maid threatens to sound unremittingly bleak. It isn’t one that promises a happy ending. This show is about the in-between moments, the grey characters, and everything that makes you feel uncomfortable that should make you uncomfortable. It asks the question ‘What is abuse?’ and highlights the way systems navigate similar narratives on a daily basis. The story starts with 25-year-old Alex (Margaret Qualley) who flees her emotionally abusive relationship with her 2-year-old, Maddy (Rylea Neveah Whittet). Over the course of the 10-part drama Alex starts to piece her life back together from scratch. Her journey eventually leads her to a maid-for-hire service and back to her estranged father and self-diagnosed bipolar mother (played by Qualley’s mother, which makes their complex relationship even more brilliant to witness). Maid highlights every effort made to access the bare minimum and the lack of support available for women who have run out of plausible options. This narrative puts a face to those who are not abusing government assistance— but rather, are failed by it. It showcases the thousands who are trapped in a neverending cycle and who are judged, as opposed to being applauded, for their will to make it work. With only $18 to her name, the series displays Alex’s funds on the screen when essential purchases need to be made. And so, Maid walks the fine line between the harsh reality of American poverty and those who are blindly throwing away their fortune. Each character is perfectly realised, the show truly capturing their humanness. Alex’s unwillingness to let her daughter suffer as she did, breaking a generational curse, is heart-wrenching. She becomes the hero of her own story, and viewers can’t help but feel that every small act of kindness Alex finds or every reach for stability is genuine, and every setback is a wound to the chest. Not only does Maid tackle the stigma of domestic abuse; it demonstrates how abusers are loved and admired publically, while victims are blamed for breaking up a loving family. It shows that abusers are often unaware of the severity of their behaviour, or how terrifying verbal and mental abuse is for those enduring it. Ultimately, Maid starts and ends with Alex and her realistic nightmare of navigating the social services system, family court, subsidized daycare, and housing. While parts of it are truly difficult to get through, Maid remains a must-watch for anyone without weekend plans. by Hannah Gray Maid (2021) by Megan Haf Donoher

30.10.19 p.9 Halloween is over, so now it’s time to put away the fun costumes, spooky decorations, and colourful sweets and deal with the terrifying existential threat of climate change. Despite previous talks, such as the previous COP in Paris and the voluntary agreements that came from them, climate change is worsening, global emissions are still increasing, extreme climate events are more common and the impacts of climate change are closer than ever. Therefore, decisive action is needed on many key policies. Here is what you should look out for: Target maximum temperature rise: Current warming is 1.2 degrees over preindustrial levels, which does not leave a lot of leeway to the 1.5 degree target previously laid out. 1.5 degrees is looking increasingly unlikely due to slow progress on halting fossil fuel use; reports from the IPCC indicate warming of 2 degrees or more is likely. In fact, we are currently on track for a rise of 3 degrees. These may seem like small differences, however, the likelihood of the most disastrous impacts of climate change and feedback effects goes up drastically above 1.5 degrees. In a stirring speech, the PM of Barbados pointed out that 2 degrees warming could be a death sentence for many island nations already feeling the brunt of climate change and rising sea levels. Methane emissions: Methane is a powerful greenhouse gas (GHG) which warms the planet very quickly. Reduction is very much needed and a proposed plan, already coming out of COP26, is to cut methane emissions by 30% by 2030, although this agreement is yet to be signed onto by major countries such as Russia, China, India, and Australia. While this is a positive step, it is important to know that methane lasts in the atmosphere for around a decade while carbon-dioxide lasts a century and is the most prevalent GHG. Action on methane should not allow for slower reductions in CO2. Ending deforestation: Déjà vu, in 2014 an agreement was made to end deforestation by 2030 and half the rate by 2020. Since that time, deforestation has accelerated, especially in Russia and Brazil, yet the same pledge is being given, as if it is a new agreement by many countries. Hopefully, the 2030 pledge will be more successful the second time around. Ending new fossil fuel infrastructure funding: This is a key part of reducing GHGs and transitioning to renewable sources of energy. Climate scientists have been pushing for this, and even the International Energy Agency agrees on the necessity of stopping funding new projects. Unfortunately, the UK is among those falling short on this pledge, still subsidising new fossil fuel infrastructure in recent budgets and fundings. Aid for developing countries: Countries who have economically benefited from burning fossil fuels will need to help pay for less developed nations to skip a fossil fuel economy and jump straight to renewable energy and technology. Also, aid will be necessary for countries feeling the worst effects of climate change. The size and nature of this aid is heavily debated, but stay tuned for pledges from COP26. Net zero: This is the time where emissions are reduced and carbon is captured, e.g. by planting trees to the point where countries produce no overall addition of carbon. A hoped goal for this was 2050 or before, however, several major countries, such as China and India, have not agreed to this timeframe and instead aim for 2060-2070 to meet this target. There is still progress here and these timescales may be subject to political haggling, such as in the case of India where financing to help speed the country to renewable energy solutions is being considered and calculated. As with many of these terms, measurement here leaves a lot to be desired to ensure net zero has actually been reached and not surreptitiously claimed through buying carbon off-sets and planting trees which are likely to be cut down or burned in forest fires, releasing any carbon they capture. Political limitations: Unfortunately, COP is a sober reminder of political realities clashing with the science of what is needed to prevent worsening climate change. While the path to address climate change is clear and laid out in the latest IPCC report, politically implementing these changes has often been a sticking point. Take America: while President Biden has made executive moves to compensate for the climate-inaction of the last administration, the scale of these problems requires passing large radical bills, as the IPCC-report suggests. Despite the administration supporting such bills, they have been unable to pass due to unanimous Republican opposition and two Democrats not supporting these bills because, for example, they come from a state that has a large interest in fracking and coal mining. This illustrates that even if leaders are genuinely onboard, following through from their political and legislative institutions is necessary and cannot always be relied upon. Nonetheless, it is necessary to consolidate these pledges into law so they are not easily reversed on the whims of future administrations. The UK Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, is saying all the right things at the conference, yet the UK is still providing support for new fossil fuel infrastructure and recent budgets do not address climate issues. In summary, as you follow COP26, pay attention to the recommendations and warnings laid out by climate scientists, such as by the IPCC. Look past the speeches and politics into the concrete action, laws, and pledges that are being designed, and look at what is not being said or not being done, as this is just as important. COP26 viewers' guide: key policies and targets to understand and watch by Sam Johnson The 26th Conference of Parties to the United Nations Climate Change Convention (COP26) is underway in Glasgow. This is a brief summary to help you follow what is going on, understand the key takeaways, main policies and goals, and put these in the scientific and political context of this conference Photo credit of dmncwndrlch via Pixabay

p.10 30.10.19 An interview with the Chief Operations Officer of the Ban Ki-moon Centre for Global Citizens At the COP26 UN Climate Change Conference, The Gaudie talked to Ms Katrin Harvey on youth and women empowerment, leadership and climate change by Isti Miskolczy The Ban Ki-moon Centre for Global Citizens was established in Vienna in 2018 by former UN Secretary- General Ban Ki-moon and former president of Austria Heinz Fischer with the aim of empowering women and young people to live in a world in which human rights are universally respected and the sustainable development goals are achieved through shared responsibility. With several local, national, and international projects and cooperations, the centre is trying to equip the next generation of leaders with a “global citizenship mindset”. At COP26 The Gaudie had the opportunity to talk to the centre’s COO, Ms Katrin Harvey on their goals, programmes and of course, the conference itself. IM: Here are many other international organisations and NGOs working on achieving universal human rights and the Sustainable Development Goals. Amongst them the Ban Ki-moon Centre has been founded relatively recently. Why did you feel the urge to establish a new institute in 2018? KH: Our founders wanted to establish a centre that continues with Ban Ki-moon’s twin legacies which are the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) and the Paris Climate Agreement (both agreed in 2015). They wished to do it in a way that would not just empower women’s and young people’s leadership but also help those who are already in leadership to apply a global citizenship mindset and to make decisions based within a sustainability framework. To do this, we are adopting a two-way approach. On the one hand we are working directly with decision-makers, governments and stakeholders and supporting them as they become more SDG-aware. On the other hand, we are also working with young people and women who have leadership potential but need this “last push” to become confident not just in their leading skills but also in speaking up for the Sustainable Development Goals and the aims of the Paris Climate Agreement. IM: How exactly are you trying to provide young people and women with this “last push”? KH: We have mentorships, scholarship programmes and fellowship programmes which are usually conducted in cooperation with partner organisations. For example, previously we co-convened a programme with an organisation called “Muslim Youth of Austria” through which we helped young Muslim women who were facing difficulties in getting into work and building their careers by pairing them with influential women in Austria. This year we have been working with a project called ‘ENLIGHT’ led by the universities of Bordeaux, Gent, Gottingen, Tartu, the Basque Country, Galway, Groningen, Uppsala, and Comenius Bratislava, where we very much focus on the cooperation between university professors and young students. We also have a large advocacy programme called ‘Mission 4.7’ through which we are hoping to get more governments and organisations onboard for integrating global citizenship education into all curricula. IM: Do you have any exciting programmes coming up in 2022? KH: Many of our programmes will continue in 2022 – including the ones mentioned above – but unfortunately, I cannot tell you any details yet. However, at the end of October we launched a young women adaptation programme. This is an online executive training for African young women on adaptation to climate change. It is a very recent and exciting programme in which we are cooperating with the Global Commission on Adaptation and numerous other partner organisations. We have picked 30 African young women out of over 480 applications whose training will last until next March. IM: Speaking of youth and women – how do you think COP26 is affecting them? KH: I think it is not about COP26 effecting young people but the other way. I think young people heavily impact and influence the conference. They are doing a really great job. They are being loud and heard and I believe that is exactly what they should be doing. The youth are the ones that constantly need to check and demand changes from the world leaders. IM: Like Greta Thunberg for instance? KH: Yes. I remember thinking at COP24 in 2018 in Katowice about what this ‘young kid’ is doing here. I saw her on Instagram but at that time I did not know who she was, but now she is such a great leader who attracts so many people. I watched her arrival to Glasgow on TV, it looked insane. She was surrounded by so many people; she could hardly move. It has been absolutely inspiring to see what young people have been doing in the last years regarding climate change. However, I think there should still be more opportunities for young people and women to become more involved in the discussions and negotiations at the COP conferences. IM: From this perspective: what are your expectations of this year’s conference in particular? KH: One of the major things we would like to see at COP26 is an improvement in the justice component of women’s empowerment and gender inclusivity. Climate justice means the need to include voices that are not heard otherwise. We have seen in the plenaries and in the different negotiations that there are hardly any women in the rooms. Bringing women into the room and the conversation, supporting climate leadership from women, by women and for women, that is really important. So is hearing these voices, because often the ones that arel least heard are the ones that are suffering the most in terms of climate change. IM: Protests are obviously great opportunities to make voices heard. Have you seen any? KH: Yes, but actually I was hoping to see more protests already at the beginning of the conference, especially around the World Leaders’ Summit. There has been a little group of African activists protesting outside the main entrance as well as a youth group standing in silence and a couple of individuals with signs, but I was expecting more demonstrations. At my first COP in Copenhagen in 2009 there were a lot more, louder protests going on outside the venue. Maybe they are still coming, who knows. The interview was taking place on Tuesday, the 2nd of November before the large protests attracting tens of thousands of people later that week on Friday and Saturday. Katrin Harvey (left) and Isti Miskolczy (right) at the COP26 Action Zone. Photo courtesy of Anttoni James Numminen. I think young people heavily impact and influence the conference. They are doing a really great job. One of the major things we would like to see at COP26 is an improvement in the justice component of women’s empowerment and g ender inclusivity.

30.10.19 p.11 COP26 venue in Glasgow attracts a great amount of protesters A photoreport on many of the protests inside the climate conference by Isti Miskolczy At the main entrance of the conference, a small crowd of Ugandan people protesting against their president Yoweri Museveni, accusing him of selling the country’s rivers and lands to China. Mr Museveni has been in office since 1986 and assumed it once again after a disputed presidential election earlier this year. “Show us the money” protest near the registration area of COP26 during the ‘finance day’ of the conference. “The UK Chancellor is famous for holding back finances from climate change both domestically and internationally” a participant named their utmost reason for the demonstration to The Gaudie. The representatives of the “Sudanese Communities Scotland” are holding up signs against the military regime of their country. They demand stopping the violence and the targeting of human rights activists. A protest organised by an indigenous community. “The companies financing the COP are the same companies paying for compensation” told a participant, whose speech was translated to English by another activist. One of the biggest demonstrations inside in the Action Zone. “We are here to demand climate justice. We are here to demand action” “People and animals are dying. We have no time” protesters said to The Gaudie. A participant from Poland also highlighted their “additional responsibility” to protest against the Polish Government’s investments in fossil fuels. The Loss and Damage Youth Coalition’s protest in one of the central hallways of the conference venue to demand more action on climate loss and damage. “They (the member states) failed to (...) address loss and damage especially with the least developed countries” said J. Estela (in the picture), a member of the demonstration. Photo courtesy of Isti Miskolczy Photo courtesy of Isti Miskolczy Photo courtesy of Isti Miskolczy Photo courtesy of Isti Miskolczy Photo courtesy of Anttoni James Numminen Photo courtesy of Isti Miskolczy

p.12 30.10.19 I t’s only been a few weeks and the appalling findings from the Facebook Files are already being glossed over. Hundreds of allegations are going unanswered, unread or simply given the spinmeister treatment. The volume of leaks alone hurt my head (tens of thousands of internal company documents and reports). But already—distressingly, I should add— the news cycle goes on. The very same happened with Cambridge Analytica. Frances Haugen, a former Facebook employee turned whistleblower, first opted to remain anonymous with the Wall Street Journal reports but decided to reveal her identity on the American CBS program 60 Minutes. The pebbles have been falling for years, now comes the full landslide. From The Atlantic, to The Financial Times, Politico, The Washington Post, Reuters and The Associated Press, there are endless findings. The real redacted versions of the files have been provided to the US Congress, where Haugen herself testified as to the allegations. Similar has been done in the UK with a Parliamentary Committee, complete with evidence. It’s barely November and the cover-up campaign is in full swing. The infuriating, almost insulting move to change the parent company’s name from Facebook to Meta is the loudhailer in all this. The actions of Facebook here are so transparent—unlike their platform and internal company culture and business model. It’s… too obvious. Zuckerberg is showing us his cards; he wants us to be distracted by his ‘genuine’ conspicuousness, and even perhaps his idiocy. Nigh undoubtedly there will be internal documents detailing this strategy, too. How can you really expect a company to sincerely believe they’re leaving their negative past behind, rebranding to save face, yet keep Zuckerberg as the face of it all? Wouldn’t the best idea be to get some random PR higher-up with a bit of media training and a normal haircut to be the brand ambassador? Not only is the rebrand a distraction, the insanely simplistic and insultingly deceptive, yet blatant name change strategy is an even bigger one. Quite a meta one, at that. And another thing. The Metaverse? What’s that? Some science fiction phrase or something? I’m not sure if Facebook even knows. If tech heads are being confused, imagine what the out of touch journalists and lawmakers are going to think when poring over the new Meta announcements. Is it just a vision? Is it a tangible thing? It’s a sort of virtual reality (VR) workspace and virtual world, I presume. A place you can relax. And work. And consume. A lot of consuming, actually. Adverts almost inside of your eyeballs; a data-mining centre almost inside of your brain. The legal, moral, social, even political ramifications of this are massive, and as of yet totally misunderstood. Perhaps another ‘daze and confuse’ tactic. What else? Competition watchdog drama, weird Ray-Bans collaborations that seem like a Snapchat Spectacles rip-off, horribly tonedeaf and slightly creepy Instagram Kids app, translation troubles with the Meta rebrand. Seems endless. Facebook is too big to never not be in the news. In fact, that’s part of the problem. The leaks are horrendous. Internal memos have revealed that the website is ‘hardwired’ for misinformation and hate. They will put profit over everything. The Capitol riots on January 6th, rampant fake news in India, inaction to human trafficking reports, a company desperate to reach preteens despite their knowledge of its damaging mental health impacts, negligence towards radicalisation rabbit holes, all topped off with internally expressed anger towards the company from staff and shareholders alike. But it’s the enormous global size of Zuckerberg’s business that makes tackling these issues so hard. Legislation is needed. Distressingly, however, this is where lawmakers and the media fall short. Facebook have asked in the past to be regulated (in fact, they’ve asked for regulation of the entire internet). Whether they were simply saying one thing while thinking another, I’m not sure. It has an Oversight Board, it has some checks and balances, but it’s not enough. Regulating Facebook requires multilateral, and importantly, unanimous action. The world we live in right now is not one like that. In fact, global politics right now is often at the mercy of multinational conglomerates. The most overlooked part of the Facebook Papers concerns the company’s lobbying power, which keeps with the theme of exempting elites: ‘XCheck’ is an internal program which allows the rich and powerful to sidestep the website’s usage and content policies. It’s not unlike Facebook to bow down to those at the top. Similarly, it’s not unlike those at the top to bow down to Facebook. As one of the biggest companies in the world, Facebook is, understandably, a lobbying powerhouse. Internal leaks from staff have acknowledged the problem. On the flip side, it’s down to unaccountable lawmakers existing in a governance system which virtually encourages under the table contract deals that has let us down; Facebook spend millions on lobbying every year because it works. In 2020, they spent more than any other big tech company—in the US especially and narrowly behind in Europe—on ensuring they avoid scrutinous investigations, disparaging media narratives and government legislation that would break up their ever-growing monopoly and huge profits year by year. Amid this whistleblowing scandal, their lobbying efforts have jumped once again. Make it now $5.1 million that has been spent fighting antitrust bills, misinformation content moderation efforts and even Joe Biden’s personal infrastructure plans straight from the US President himself during the quarter ending September 30th. Frankly, it’s no surprise. For the elites, Facebook is a tool to keeping them in power. Changing the status quo is a dangerous game. Much in the same way the UK government has been embroiled with scandal after scandal about dodgy contracts, or in the same vein in which a former First Secretary of State can directly control the media narrative by becoming the editor-in-chief of, say, The Evening Standard, Facebook can have insider deals too. In Australia, ministerial staff close to Scott Morrison had direct ties to suppress legislation and negative news cycles. Those at the very top of the Facebook company hierarchy include previous legislatures, not much dissimilar to the ones today promising they’ll vote through effective legislation right now. The Vice-President for Global Affairs and Communications is our very own Nick Clegg. Back in 2018, the US Congress embarrassed itself when hosting Mark Zuckerberg. After some data misuse controversy (not much has changed there then) he was invited to testify in front of Senators. When it’s our data on the table and our democracy at stake, out of date and out of touch lawmakers aren’t going to save us. Facebook has fuelled the declining democracy problem around the world, but they find themselves being nothing but enabled by incompetent legislatures. Social media regulators are all good and well, but we require that governments are on our side. Thankfully, corruption in the European Union is nothing compared to that in the States. Big tech regulation is much more common over here. Much like with the climate crisis, and most other social crises for that matter, blaming personal responsibility is the lazy way out. It’s the market way of doing things, and it’s the Nick Clegg economically liberal market that got us into this mess. The leaks are terrible, legislation must be passed, users must take a stand, but if lobbying efforts continue to encourage and fund our unaccountable and aging ‘governments for sale’, we’ll be left with this mess. Zuckerberg’s cover-up campaign is working by Aidan Bridgeman Leaks are already being swathed, and news reports aren’t covering the biggest breaks Not only is the rebrand a distraction, the insanely simplistic and insultingly deceptive, yet blatant name change strategy is an even bigger one. Photo courtesy of Anthony Quintano via Wikipedia Commons Facebook has fuelled the declining democracy problem around the world, but they find themselves being nothing but enabled by incompetent legislatures.

30.10.19 p.13 Perhaps one of the most infuriating things to come out of COP26 so far is the same old same old. I agree, some of the biggest polluters not being there is indeed not very constructive, but one of the biggest that is there—the UK—is dragging their conservation topics back to Thatcher era politics. Personal choice is the name of the game at the moment. A typical Tory tactic. But not one I thought I’d see them mention at COP26. One where, as should be obvious by the scale of climate change and, thusly too, this very event, personal choice is the most reckless option. Personal freedoms, liberty, civil rights: of course, these are things I agree with. Though, they’re missing the point. In a society, which yes we do live in, sacrifices must be made so that the people as a whole can be freer. The government almost made a step forward some days ago. Almost. The Environment Secretary, George Eustice, signalled the prospect of a meat tax. Not directly a meat tax, I should say, but a tax on foods with a high carbon footprint. Which, of course, is meat. No matter how local your meat is, its carbon footprint is a multitude of times higher than non-meat options. The President of COP26, Alok Sharma, however dismissed such an idea in the name of ‘personal choice.’ Despite him outlining that he is in favour of using high or low taxes for incentive reasons, he shot down such an idea. I can’t help but think he has a bone to pick with the ‘eco-warriors’ and plant-based folk amongst us. Should we not tax what people eat? Should we not tax carbon footprints in general? Well, you know why this idea is being shot down? The implications it could mean as to further legislation. Personal carbon footprints are a sham, we know this. It was fabricated by fossil fuel companies to shift blame to the consumer. Nothing new there. A carbon tax would not affect the worst-off in society, since the worst-off in society don’t have a huge carbon footprint. The rich and powerful do. Carbon (and other greenhouse gasses, for that matter) should be taxed. Progressively. I would agree, however, that a meat tax may be unfair if the cost was disproportionately moved onto the poorest in society. A primary solution to that (with the secondary solution being a carbon tax which should still come later anyway) is removing the insane subsidies that red meat and dairy currently have in the UK. If you think about it, meat is not a cheap product. It requires immense space, resources, the care of an animal for years, etc. The reason it’s so cheap is because of government subsidies. Equally so, Boris Johnson caught a private jet to and from COP26. When grilled about it his spokeswoman from Downing Street, Allegra Stratton, claimed that it was Johnson’s ‘personal choice’ to fly his polluting jet. How can we possibly expect the biggest polluters on earth to listen to the UK when the only argument we seem to fall back on is, essentially, ‘I want to, so I have’. Which is what that ‘personal choice’ argument boils down to. It’s incredibly hypocritical of the UK government and other world leaders to impose tough climate legislation on the global south, but still jet around and eat absurd amounts of red meat up here. The personal choice argument has no legs by Christie Edward James The government’s COP26 rhetoric means no one is held to account Refuse workers refuse; the strikes are off the rails Last-minute bids and pushy deadlines are not cooperative, but appalling Scotland—and the wider UK—have been rocked by strikes as of late. What seems a trivial local issue in Glasgow may turn out to be reflective of far wider trends, as many Whitehall delegates could soon learn the hard way. The run up to COP26 has been a somewhat sore one. A conference of this scale has had Glasgow questioning its own capacity, and with the lacklustre UK government only adding to the squeeze, the prospects aren’t looking encouraging. The Covid crunch, the conservative cuts, and the general capitalist crushes UK wide have meant high employee dissatisfaction across all sectors. Retail staff, logistic teams and HGV driver shortages have crippled the country; healthcare staff contributions, which cannot be more obvious during the pandemic, have been more than underappreciated. Perhaps with the exception of healthcare staff, it’s been the private sector taking a stance this year. Poor pay, no covid bonuses or recognition, bad work conditions. It’s been festering. The working class don’t exactly have many levers to pull so when job vacancies are going unfilled all over the country when businesses need it the most, it would be backwards to not make the most out of it. Frontline workers are being cheated in the name of sky-high profit margins, forcing them to industrial action. Stagecoach and First Glasgow had their own rows some days ago over shady shift work practices and low pay but negotiated a deal. Huge management fees and staff shortages without compensation pushed the Transport Salaried Staffs’ Association (TSSA) members to strike, with the Associated Society of Locomotive Engineers and Firemen (Aslef ) and Unite members doing the same. The National Union of Rail, Maritime and Transport Workers (RMT), however, were not so graciously considered in talks. The ScotRail strikes have been dominating the headlines for the past few weeks—and rightly so. What initially seems like another private sector industrial dispute is, in fact, a public sector one. Much like the Winter of Discontent in the 1970s, what starts in the private sphere ends in the public. With much the same opportunities and levers to pull, including the colossal opportunity that is COP26, the public sector is beginning to realise what’s in front of them. The RMT dispute went right past private firm Abellio and straight to Transport Scotland and the Scottish Government. I mean, what interest would a private company have in helping the Scottish workforce with nothing in it for them? With their contract expiring next year? Investment would be to no benefit. ScotRail is to fall into state hands by March next year, so this was the perfect opportunity to set a precedent and open up some constructive communication lines! You’d think. Our government has had a different approach. Minister for Transport Graeme Dey gave RMT a strict deadline of Wednesday the 27th of October to accept any deal on the table. A stonewall approach. He opted to establish a positive relationship with the very union he shall be working closely with soon by labelling them ‘very difficult to establish trust [with].’ The Scottish government stood their ground more by accusing RMT of ‘letting its members down,’ stating they were ‘utterly perplexed.’ Once an initial deal was rejected, they simply accused the union of ‘moving the goalposts’. From what’s supposed to be a progressive and cooperative government for the Scottish people, they aren’t half siding with the business lot. Going on to accuse train staff of threatening to cause chaos at COP26. Incredibly impertinent. The weight that is this UN conference was thrown onto the shoulders of the working man, and if you can’t stand in solidarity with your own workforce and give them the tools to work efficiently and with dignity, that’s on you. A deal was reached eventually including a one year 2.5% pay rise, a £300 bonus for COP26, and more respectable working conditions and dialogue in the future generally, but not with the happiest of takeaways. Describing it as having a ‘gun held to their heads,’ RMT wasn’t exactly pleased. And understandably so. The fact that this dispute has been ongoing for 18 months and Transport Scotland and the Scottish Government forced a deal at the last minute just before COP26 is reckless and incredibly disrespectful to some of the most important frontline workers. Similar lessons are being learnt with the council workers strike in Glasgow and further afield. What started as a simple pay dispute has snowballed into a much biggerpicture issue about trust and respect. The Convention of Scottish Local Authorities (COSLA), supposedly meant to be on the side of the councils in all this, has been equally tough. Glasgow City Council has been much the same. Refuse workers and teaching staff decided to call for strikes on the 25th of October after a 10-month dispute claim was ignored by the Scottish Joint Council, and after initially having called off the refuse strikes in Glasgow decided to go ahead with them anyway. It’s the poor that will suffer with this approach by the government. Union density is not concentrated in the very lower working classes, and, in fact, the highest percentage is in the public sector. If the government here isn’t going to act cooperatively with the voices of labour in our society (what little voice they have remaining), the very poorest will have no voice at all. Any prospect of Scotland aiming to keep a reserve army of labour and ensure wages stay low should be avoided at all costs. Not only will it hurt the pay and working conditions of those in work, but it will act to enable the Tories to continue to demonise the unemployed. It won’t reverse austerity measures imposed upon them, and it won’t help our incredibly unequal economy. The role of the Scottish government, Scottish councils and Scottish government agencies in public sector industrial disputes is pivotal. So far, their tactics are not entirely reassuring. Going forward they must be supportive of those that keep our society running. by Aidan Bridgeman Photo courtesy of the U.S. Department of Agriculture via Flickr How can we possibly expect the biggest polluters on earth to listen to the UK when the only argument we seem to fall back on is, essentially, ‘I want to, so I have’.

p.14 30.10.19 What British universities are doing to protect transphobia I t’s on the news from earlier this week that Professor Kathleen Stock has been kicked out of the University of Sussex. On such tragic news, I have only one remark to make: it should have happened ages ago. Stock is a Professor of Philosophy, with a particular focus on gender theory—rather, gender criticism, a.k.a. the pretty name she gives to hide her mind-boggling transphobia. Professor Stock has been, time and again, defended openly by UK media and publications for upholding and representing ‘free speech’ in British universities. But when does free speech end, and arrogant, ignorant hatred begin? For Professor Stock, it’s an easy answer. Her appalling views have never been sugarcoated; she has always been vocal about how, in her academic and personal opinion, biological gender comes before social gender. In short: for Stock, trans women are not women, and transgender people have no right to decide on their own lives. An appalling addition to her academic views is how they have been tainted by her own life bias—something that should not be tolerated in scholarship environments anyway. Somehow, she is immune to such rules, and one of her infamous research books dares to end with the remark that she, too, felt like a butch lesbian in her teens, but she didn’t feel the need to start transitioning. Horrifying, yes? There is more. Lo and behold, publications have raced to print her works and have their name associated with hers. Even the University of Sussex, in a statement from months ago, protected her (and called other universities to do so) in the name of ‘academic freedoms’ in higher education. It took an anonymous group within the University to convince her to clear her desk. A bunch of people had to pour blood and sweat into a media campaign to do what an institution of higher education should have done (and had the power to do) years ago. What Stock’s case proves is that British universities are the stage and the actor in a widespread culture of misinformation and hatred, in which blatant ignorance and transphobia can be coated by the ‘neutrality’ the academic world grants. Stock is a Professor of Philosophy, who would argue that her field of studies is the ground in which every discussion is allowed, no matter how harmful. What she wants you to do is to buy into this free speech: everyone is entitled to their madness, allowing TERFs to continue recruiting. What she doesn’t want you to do is think, both in human and academic terms, about the effects that printed, normalised hatred has. I find it grotesque and paradoxical. For some major papers (the very liberal Guardian included), Stock has become the hero, the Joan of Arc of the opinion headlines, and “universities can’t cope with arguments”. What if, instead, we can’t cope with transphobia? What if we demand we shouldn’t have to cope with it in 2021? by Rory Buccheri Free speech isn’t the real worry Conservationists and animal welfare activists finally have a rare moment of delight. In the fight for animal liberation, there’s been a big step! In the fight for who owns the countryside, well, it’s a slightly smaller one. On the 15th of October, Mark Hankinson was found guilty of encouraging or assisting others to act illegally under the Hunting Act of 2004—famous legislation introduced under Tony Blair (of which he has since regretted, further exposing what a traditionalist he really is). But nonetheless almost overturned by David Cameron and Theresa May during their time as PM, respectively, but thrown out for not being popular enough with their supporter base (Christ alive, imagine being ‘out of touch’ by Tory standards). Using the very language that activists label against him, he told his peers to ‘create a smokescreen’ when on hunts. That is, to seem as if you’re carrying out a legitimate trail hunt (of which is allowed in the UK and involves hounds simply following a fake scent to mimic a real hunt, with no killing) with the intent of distracting the authorities, saboteurs or other onlookers while, in reality, purposefully going off course or into areas where it is known there are foxes to illegally hunt and kill them. It’s like if Nestlé started using ‘greenwashing’ in internal memos. Hankinson is (well, was) the director of the Hunting Office and considered Britain’s leading huntsman. In 2020, he was caught in a leaked online meeting, as uncovered by ITV News, telling hunters how to carry out their blood sport outside of the law. Little did he know he was being recorded. Hardly a surprise, really. You can’t expect people stuck in the sixteenth century to know how a Zoom call works. The League Against Cruel Sports commented that this conviction goes to show that trail hunting is indeed a smokescreen: ‘[the case] has proven beyond doubt that trail hunting is nothing but a sham’. It goes to show that hunters will go to extreme lengths, and often violence, to keep alive their archaic weekend hobby. They are utterly dishonest, cruel and self-appointed ‘regal’ roleplayers who, despite claiming their love more than anyone else, in fact despise this country’s natural beauty and wildlife. On the back of this the National Trust’s (for UK excluding Scotland) membership has voted to ban trail hunting—including hound exercising—on its land. A historic vote. They also called for other landowners to do the same. Far from controversial, and rather a shame that a big exposé court case was needed for it to be passed, considering 81% of the UK public agree that fox hunting should be and thusly remain illegal (you can’t get that many people in the UK to agree on anything). The Scottish government has taken ‘preemptive action to prevent trail hunting becoming established in Scotland’ in a proposed fox control bill to reduce hound numbers, but has not yet introduced any legislation. And although traditional hunting is banned under the Protection of Wild Mammals (Scotland) Act of 2002, there has existed a loophole since its creation that allows for hounds to ‘flush out’ foxes from cover so that they can be shot. Essentially, fox hunting is still allowed in Scotland; a ban on trail hunting, while useful, isn’t the first priority. It still happens. To this day. Despite overwhelming public opposition. The Ferret and OneKind found that in Loch Farr Wood, Farr Wood and Meall Mor near Inverness, huntsmen lured foxes out to be ‘controlled’ (killed)—in public forests owned by Forestry and Land Scotland (FLS). FLS’s response has been disappointing and confusing; their internal policy hardly aims to tackle such wildlife crime, and only acts to enable it. This repugnant ‘sport’, if you can call it that, is being backed by public funds. Ten hunts still take place every year, killing over 800 foxes in Scotland. All under the guise of ‘pest control’. Tough legislation is needed. Not only that though; enforcement is needed. Wildlife policing is barely nonexistent. There has only been one successful conviction of an illegal hunt in Scotland, back in 2017. Current proposed legislation by the SNP is totally unfit. A reduction in the pack numbers of hounds doesn’t ban the sport, despite Nicola Sturgeon’s apparent personal opposition to fox hunting. Maybe you’re on the side that pest control is a good thing? However, it’s known that foxes are not disruptive to agricultural activities. Moreover, there are far more humane ways to deal with overpopulation or general distribution, for example, than by brutal murder: with intense and incredibly prolonged pain and suffering for the animal. It’s plain to see by those who take part in it, and consequently those who defend it, that it’s a sport for the posh. The rich and backwards. It’s an excuse to keep their acres of land and stay far away from the poor folk. If you’re as appalled as I am—which puts us both in the vast, vast majority—be sure to contact your local MSP and council, and sign the League Against Cruel Sports’ petition. Hankinson was fined just £1,000, but the real justice comes with a national ban. Trail hunting exposed Head huntsman’s guilty verdict should push the government to act by Christie Edward James Photo courtesy of Elien Smid via Pixabay British universities are the stage and the actor in a widespread culture of misinformation and hatred, in which blatant ignorance and transphobia can be coated by the ‘neutrality’ the academic world grants. An appalling addition to her academic views is how they have been tainted by her own life bias—something that should not be tolerated in scholarship environments anyway.

30.10.19 p.15 With cases of coronavirus on the rise across the country as well as the whole world, experts are quick to point out the obvious and overstated negative impacts of the COVID19 pandemic. However, according to some concrete and totally not pieced together evidence based purely on my personal experience, I’m here to tell everyone about the best kept secret about contracting coronavirus, the amazing weight loss that comes with it! Forget about wasting time and energy sticking to a diet that makes you wish you were eating cardboard and an exercise plan devised by a personal trainer that makes you feel persecuted for treating yourself during the traumatic lockdown. Who needs them when you can get coronavirus! Within two days of contracting the virus and beginning the self-isolation, I started to watch the pounds melt off me. It reminded me of the almost prehistoric days when losing a dramatic amount of weight in a short amount of time was only possible through the willing ingestion of a parasite like a tapeworm to intercept those takeaways before they made their way to my hips, but no more! This method is crystal clear and undeniable! All in all, I have managed to lose over twenty kilograms over the entirety of my self-isolation. And I know what you are thinking, surely locking yourself in the house is just going to result in takeaway central and you would usually be right, however coronavirus has a trick up its sleeve, the loss of both the sense of taste and smell! With this gone, the desire to eat anything goes completely out the window as you begin to realise that the texture of most the foods you like aren’t enough to hit the spot left to fill by the absence of their taste! This prompts the consumption of bland and typically healthy foods like soup just to keep the gears inside you turning. This prompts more weight loss as bored snacking no longer provides even a shred of serotonin and so, is abandoned very quickly after. Overall, coronavirus is a sure-fire way to get ten days off work and or university, paired with the incredible weight loss, it makes it a deal too good to pass up! I know what I’m doing two weeks before my next holiday! *(Side effects of this diet include death, fever, nausea, cold sweats, extreme cough, shortness of breath or difficulty breathing, fatigue, muscle or body aches, headache, completely blocked nose, diarrhoea as well as a myriad of psychological issues such as delusions, dissociation, and general insanity) *I do not accept any liability for anyone purposefully getting COVID-19 for this diet, you guys are on your own, I’m not a doctor, I’m a guy with an arts degree. DISCLAIMER All opinions expressed in the satire section are written primarily for the sake of comic value and therefore do not necessarily represent the honest views held by the author, The Gaudie, AUSA, or any company which advertises in The Gaudie. by Harrold Saxton Boris Johnson on COP 26: Glasgow!? I thought we were going abroad!? The Prime Minister has shown his disgust at the staycation being forced upon him. Photo courtesy of Artur Kraft by Harrold Saxton Photo courtesy of i yunmai COVID-19 Is the Best Thing Since Tapeworm, Honey! The newest certified and completely safe weight loss craze is taking the United Kingdom like a plague! Boris Johnson was none the wiser for his appearance in the House of Commons earlier this week when it appeared that he had just learned of the destination for the upcoming COP 26 climate conference due to take place in early November. The Prime Minister was being asked questions by fellow ministers when the situation of his transport to Glasgow was brought up, specifically how he was minimising the emissions of his journey. Ignoring the perfectly valid and appropriate question, Mr. Johnson appeared puzzled as he responded with the question, “Wait, it’s in Glasgow?”. With the response, the Commons erupted into laughter as it’s good to see taxpayers’ money going towards the everfunny comedic institution that is British democracy. However, as many of those present may have assumed it was sarcasm, they were mistaken as the Prime Minster continued, asking “I thought we were going abroad!? You mean I don’t get to have a holiday out of this?! I have to go to Glasgow?! But that small Scottish woman might be there!”, believed to be referring to the Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon. Boris Johnson continued, looking quite shaken about the prospect of traveling north for the conference, “I didn’t think they had electricity up there, let alone a conference centre.”. After partially answering the final questions from the ministers and more the questions he wanted to answer, as is his style, then sitting down, the Prime Minister then pulled out what appeared to be a small voodoo doll with a considerable resemblance to former United States president Donald Trump and began to ask the doll what to do about Glasgow, whispering “It’s going to be alright” and giving it a big hug before putting it back into his pocket. This will be one of the defining moments of Boris Johnson’s residency in Downing Street, hopefully addressing the issue of global warming and establishing the United Kingdom as a world leader in combatting the climate crisis, but more than likely, he’ll just ruffle his hair, say something stupid and derail all meaningful negotiation. All in a day’s work for Mr. Johnson. Boris Johnson continued, looking quite shaken about the prospect of traveling north for the conference, “I didn’t think they had electricity up there, let alone a conference centre.”

p.16 30.10.19 Mr Rangers gu bràth A homage to one of Scotland’s greatest football titans The demise of Walter Smith has plunged many into mourning. The former Rangers, Everton and Scotland manager died at the age of 73, following cancer. Smith's career in the game traversed decades, starting as a player at Dundee United in 1966 and closing with a final league title at Rangers in 2011. In between, there stands victory after victory, most remarkably helping steer Rangers to their 9 “In A Row” triumph. In all, Smith collected 21 major trophies in charge at Ibrox (and as assistant seven more) but his legacy extends so much more than just silverware. Born in Lanark, Walter was brought up in Carmyle, in the east end of Glasgow. His father was a crane driver, and his mother played the piano at the local church. It was, he later recalled, a happy childhood dominated by football from morning till night. His grandfather took him to his first Rangers game when he was five, beginning a lifelong love affair. Sir Alex Ferguson leads tributes to Walter Smith. Ferguson and Smith were close friends for decades. Smith briefly served as Ferguson’s assistant at Manchester United in 2004 and Ferguson later revealed Smith had been hugely influential in convincing United to sign Wayne Rooney. “I am absolutely devastated. Walter was a special person. He fought his illness with great courage. He was a great friend of mine for years and years. I had him as my assistant at United in 2004 and he was also my assistant when Scotland went to the World Cup in 1986. In all that time you were dealing with a man with great moral compass in how he lived his life and the friendship he offered so many people.” Ferguson said. Kenny Dalglish, a former Celtic and Liverpool player, recounted: “Though we were on opposing sides on the pitch, he was a real footballing friend off of it. He was respected by all and one of the few able to transcend rivalries.” Nicola Sturgeon, Scotland’s first minister, proclaimed Smith “a true football great”. Mr Rangers was one of the most successful football managers Scotland has produced, earning respect beyond the tribal lines that characterise Scottish football. As those at Ibrox mourn Smith’s loss, his broader contribution to the game must be honoured. After injury ended his playing career in 1976, Smith became Jim McLean’s assistant at Tannadice. They were hard taskmasters but extremely successful and Dundee United, alongside Ferguson’s Aberdeen, brief ly became the “New Firm” of Scottish football. They won the Scottish League in 1982-83 and reached the semi-final of the European Cup the following year. After the customary embarrassment of the Berti Vogts era, Smith allowed Scotland’s national team respectability again. Smith had also been prominent in the Scottish Football Association’s youth setup long before putting smiles on the face of the country thanks to a famous win over France at Hampden Park. The period of Rangers domination in the 90s was transformational for Scottish football. That era commenced with the appointment of Graeme Souness as manager in 1986. Souness was a Liverpool luminary but had no experience of either management or Scottish football. Smith, then highly regarded for his work at Dundee United, became his deputy. Smith was as much a delight on the field as he was out of it. One of the most excruciating yet hilarious interviews you will ever see is Smith’s Chick Young interview. Its plot is several minutes of Smith's increasingly sweary bemusement at Chick Young's forceful questions concerning, primarily, Brian Laudrup's European pedigree. The dialogue, which flawlessly evolutions into the hunter becoming the hunted as Young's allegations are brutally flicked into the reporter exasperatedly guarding his position, is perfect. The visuals, which comprise almost entirely of Smith staring a hole through his interviewer (who never once appears on camera), only gets funnier the longer he holds his gaze. So incredulous does he become, that Smith beckons Archie Knox to come and listen in. Over 1.1 million others have since watched the exchange on YouTube. A humane and honourable man, Smith became a respected figure far beyond football. His close friendship with the Celtic hero Burns became a symbol of there being matters much more important than the magnificent sport. It was a powerful and influential piece of symbolism when Smith was a pallbearer at Burns’ funeral in 2008. Smith inspired many who looked up to him. From players to spectators. Richard Gough, who worked with Smith at Dundee United, Rangers and Everton, remembers a modest, fair and tough man: “For me, he was a second father. I spoke to him a lot – you could go to him with any problem. Walter was a great listener. He was a humble man and a fair man with a tough streak. I never saw anybody mess him around in any way. He could handle himself in any dressing room and got total respect from every player. He was just a top-class individual.” Tom English of BBC Scotland narrates Walter in 1993: “If you want an interview with anybody then fax the club on a Tuesday and I’ll make sure it happens.” So Tom did, over and over, and Walter always arranged it. This seems typical of the man, generous of spirit even when he had no need to be. Ewan Murray, the Guardian’s sport correspondent, writes: “Smith’s life was so intrinsically linked to football that it is hard to imagine his life beyond it.” He was loved by fans and players alike for who he was, for the man he was. For his attitude and style. When former players refer to him as a second father, it is not mere hyperbole. Post-management, Smith returned to Ibrox, briefly, as a director and chairman but never appeared comfortable in either role. Watching matches as a supporter appealed far more to the former defender than cordial welcomes in boardrooms. The titles and the trophies tell the stories of Walter Smith’s Rangers career but not of the kindness he endowed on others. He was a well-respected man. A feat many struggle to achieve. Smith was not only one of the greatest football managers, but also one of the greatest human beings. He has set an example for future generations to strive for. His legacy balloons beyond the field and right into our hearts. He has shaped so many people’s lives, so elegantly and sorely. The game indeed has lost one of its greats: a legendary figure who brought success to his club and who gave his country hope. His efforts, like his legacy, will never be forgotten. He will be profoundly missed by all associated with Rangers and football. by Khushvita Singh The titles and the trophies tell the stories of Walter Smith’s Rangers career but not of the kindness he endowed on others. He was a wellrespected man. A feat many struggle to achieve. Want to write for The Gaudie? No matter what time of the year it is, we are always looking for students to take part and write for the university publication! To find out more information or to join the team, email [email protected] His close friendship with the Celtic hero Burns became a symbol of there being matters much more important than the magnificent sport. Photo courtesy of Morgan McNair