The Gaudie 19th September 2010

FREE WWW.GAUDIEONLINE.COM Inside this edition >>> Gaudie 19th September 2010 Naomi Mills Co-News editor The Aberdeen University Student Newspaper The one stop coffee shop! Est. 1934 Academia Chocolate An interview with Christiane Wirrig tells of the benefits of chocolate. Academia, p15 Arts Life & Style Sziget Sean McNally at Budapest’s latest music festival. How he got on, and are festivals are all they’re cracked up to be ARTS, PAGE 12 News With the opening of state of the art Sports facility, the ASV, last year, Butchart’s future looked uncertain. With rumours of a Union to replace the old sports centre students hopes were high with the possibility of finally having a university social area. Will they be disappointed that this was not Butchart’s fate? I think not. The renovations are impressive. AUSA has been given a permanent home in the centre of campus. Sabbatical President for Welfare and Equal Opportunities Jenny Batty said, “I’m very excited for the opening of Butchart. I think it will not only give the Students Association a better identity but we have the cheapest coffee on campus and it’s still fair-trade!” The main hall is now Aberdeen’s very own coffee house, with comfortable seating, pool tables, cheap coffee and a modern ceiling feature. Megan McHaney, President for Education and Employment hopes that the opening of Butchart will give the student community “a social space, where idea’s can connect and friends can meet up and chill out at the end of their uni day. We’re a one-stop shop for the student body.” Butchart also provides a base for societies. The old squash courts provide open space for meetings, dance and drama. Andrew Ryan, Societies president stated “Societies now have much more space. This should have a positive impact on campus and empower more people to get involved.” The pinnacle point of this new facility being run by AUSA is that all proceedings go directly back into the student experience. For every coffee you buy, the profit will help to improve the running and the budget of AUSA. This is a venture built directly to support the student body in everyway possible. The opening is scheduled for Monday the 20th of September, perfectly placed to introduce Fresher’s to the growing opportunities the University of Aberdeen and its Student Association has to offer. If AUSA can successfully manage this commercial enterprise then maybe our dreams of a Student Union being established will come true. Butchart: President Robin Parker & friends enjoy coffee Photo: Robin Parker £4,000 possessions? Daniel Guild looks at insuring personal belongings in rented accomodation NEWS, PAGE 2 Fashion How is the fahsion world is shaping us without us even seeing it? LIFE & STYLE, PAGE 7

19th September 2010 GAUDIE 2 GAUDIE News NEWS EDITORS: Naomi Mills, Stuart Hewitt Editorial Team Editors: John Braid, Joseph Blythe Head of Production and Photography: Leo Stockford News: Naomi Mills, Stuart Hewitt Opine: Jonathan Kerr Life & Style: Johanna Faust Arts: Anne-Claire Deseilligny Listings: Aaron Murray Sports: Ryan Ross Featured Columnists: Fanny Johansson, Eoin Smith, and Xander Brouwer Editor-in-cheif: Robin Parker Where does one draw the line on what can be filmed? Xander looks into the curious case of Donald Trump Journalist Troubles Trump Golf Course Construction Site Xander Brouwer ‘The Gaudie’ is the student newspaper of the University of Aberdeen. Whilst the student president, Robin Parker is the editor-in-chief, the responsibility for production of the paper and it’s content is left solely to the discression and capable hands of the editors who are elected every year by the students. Any complaints should be made to the them, via the appropriate e-mails. We voluntarily adhere to the Press Complaints Commision Code of Conduct (http://www. pcc.org.uk/) and aim to provide fair and balanced reporting of local, national and international affairs. We are always anxious to correct any mistakes that may occur during publication. If you find any errors, please inform the editor by e-mail. Since the Aberdeen Sports Village (ASV) opened last year on the 24th of August it has been a story of success. The project between the University of Aberdeen, Aberdeen City Council and Sports Scotland resulted in the creation of one of Scotland’s leading sporting facilities. Just two weeks ago Evergreen member Elizabeth Petri was crowned the ASV’s 500,000th visitor and was rewarded with a hamper full of goodies, including a free 3month membership! These numbers demonstrate the importance of such a facility in the area. Not only has the ASV been home to The developments around Donald Trump’s Golf Course recently reached a new level. The construction of the multimillion pound golf course near Balmedie, Aberdeenshire, has been ongoing but recently complaints have arisen. For this reason two documentary film-makers Anthony Baxter and Richard Phinney went to investigate the situation. However, the two were arrested for breach of the peace after the Trump organisation accused the pair of entering the offices at the construction site and filming documents without permission. They had their DNA, photographs and fingerprints taken and were held for four hours. Baxter and Phinney were investigating accusations from local residence that Trump’s contractors cut off their water supply for a few days. According to the two their equipment was held for several days preventing them from filming. Paul O’Connor, Trump’s local manager, agreed to be interviewed on camera according the two documentary makers. They claim that the tapes prove they entered the building with permission while never filming any documents. Baxter said that he and Phinney were making a documentary about the impact of the construction on the local All copyright for photos, posters articles et c, remains with the creator and/or author, and may not be distributed, reproduced, re-published, liscenced et c, with out their express and written permission. Copyright Barry the psychologist, p9 - “ZOOTAllures” from funnyjunk. com CCTV, p2 - Banksy. Image from “http://www.thestencilstudio. com/banksy-style-cctv-crowsstencil-251-p.asp” ASUA Sport Logo, last page - copyright to Aberdeen University Students Association. The Aberdeen Students’ Charities Campaign rallied together at the end of August to raise over £1800 for the relief efforts to Pakistan. With the help of some local bakeries: namely Chalmers, Aiken’s, Thain’s, Ross’s, the Bread Maker and a stall at the Aberdeen Country Fair that Apardion kindly donated, we managed to sell over over £800 worth of cake. The rest of the proceeds resulted from extremely generous donations from staff and students at the University of Aberdeen, through our justgiving page: http://www.justgiving.com/ Address: The Gaudie and ASR Office, Butchart Recreational Center, University Road, The University of Aberdeen JOURNALISTS ARE ARRESTED FOR FILMING TRUMP’S DEVELOPMENT AbedeenHelpsPakistan. The floods in Pakistan have presented a unprecedented natural disaster which has shocked the global community. Any help we can offer to help the people of Pakistan rebuild their country is sincerely appreciated; therefore I would like to take this opportunity on behalf of the Aberdeen Students’ Charities Campaign to thank everyone who was involved with the cake sale and to also thank everyone who donated. [email protected] Just Give for Pakistan Ciara Ryan residents as well as the process which granted Trump planning permission which is considered controversial by many. The National Union of Journalists (NUJ) has protested against the arrest of the documentary makers who have previously done work for Channel 4 News and the BBC. Paul Holleran, local organiser in Scotland has said that the arrests were unjustified and a formal letter of complaint has been sent to the Grampian police. Trump’s senior representative George Sorial said that an old clay pipe was indeed broken and that it was fixed immediately. The floods in southern Pakistan Photo: Southeallpakistanappeal. org ASV reaches 500,000 visitor Cynthia Rose News Correspondent top Athletes but it is a top asset to the local community. With programmes such as NHS Keep well, which offers health-checks to 45- 64 year olds and the popular Evergreen over 60’s club the ASV is not only offering sports but general healthy living to the community at large. Membership peaked at over 5500, which David Beattie, manager of the ASV believes “Is an excellent indication of the level of demand there was in the area for sporting facilities of this kind.” The large sports hall has been the training ground for the likes of BGT 2010 winners Spellbound and the Glasgow Rocks basketball team. With the kind of opportunities the ASV can offer it is inevitable that sport will continue to progress in the North East. David Beattie went on to say, “We are delighted with the progress made in the first year and will continue to develop our community programmes, having run a successful pilot project of taster sessions with disability groups as well as classes for local schools.” Some of those that helped raise over £1800 Photo: Leo Stockford

News 19th September 2010 GAUDIE 3 Daniel Guild [email protected] To insure or not insure Alternative Fresher’s week returns Stewart Hewitt The Alternative Fresher’s Week is to return this year providing a contrasting programme to the AUSA sponsored week of festivities. With a fresh programme of workshops, film viewings and club nights AFW also contains a strong environmental theme this year. All events are free to attend and Workshops will be held on freganism, guerrilla gardening and direct action among other things. Each evening will also see the showing of a film followed by a myriad of fun nights out. The AFW Facebook groups explains “We hope to provide an insight into Aberdeen’s more subversive side, offering new and existing student’s an alternative to the same drab commercialism of freshers’ weeks past. “Not everyone wants to spend their first week here in Liquid....” Group admin Bertyuim Goldman added “this is outwith AUSA. Black Sheep is by students, for students, without a hierarchy, without bureaucracy, without sponsors.” A full listing of events is available at www. blacksheepaberdeen. blogspot.com Co-News Editor The news - in brief Bus fare increases Aberdeen student leaders have met with representatives from First Buses to discuss what they see as unfair increases to student bus tickets. The popular Student Day Ticket has increased from to £3 from £2.60 previously. Aberdeen University President, Robin Parker, slammed the rises, saying ‘with students pockets emptier than ever, and with part-time jobs harder to come by, it is unfortunate that First Aberdeen have chosen this moment to increase fares. The student discounts are being squeezed and students are one of the few publicly f i n a n c i a l l y - s u p p o r t e d groups who have no access to other forms of discount. Aberdeen is a student city and First need to recognise that’ First Aberdeen claim that their across the board increases are their first price rise in two years. A year ago Aberdeen Student Forum campaigned successfully for the reintroduction of the student day ticket, following its withdrawal by First Aberdeen. A full list of the fare increases can be found in the news section of www.ausa.org.uk AUniversity of Aberdeen musician has been chosen to perform for Pope Benedict XVI and the institution’s Catholic chaplain will be one of the concelebrants of the mass when the Pontiff visits Glasgow. Dr Roger Williams, recently retired as Master ofwho Chapel and Ceremonial Music but retains emeritus status at the University, will play two voluntaries on the organ during the giant open-air Mass in Glasgow’s Bellahouston Park on Thursday September 16. As one of Scotland’s three universities with a papal foundation The University of Aberdeen has links to the Catholic Church going back more than 500 years to its foundation in 1495 by William Elphinstone, Bishop of Aberdeen and Chancellor of Scotland. UoA Musician to perform for the Pope STUDENT LEADERS CLAIM VICTORY IN FIGHT WITH COUNCIL S tudents in Aberdeen are set to benefit from lower rents after student leaders successfully campaigned for the lowering of a controversial fee imposed by the City Council. After sustained pressure from the Aberdeen Student Forum Council officials have agreed to lower the House of Multiple Occupancy (HMO) license fee which was said to discourage landlords from the student market and subsequently inflate rent prices. The City Council also made a commitment to clamp down, through greater enforcement measures, on rogue landlords who were not licensed under the scheme, and therefore potentially putting their tenants at risk. The HMO license is needed for any property being rented to three or more unrelated people which affects a large percentage of students living in and around Aberdeen. The outlandish fee landlords were forced to pay to obtain a license led to the council making a £200,000 profit on the scheme last year. Robin Parker, President for Aberdeen University Students’ Association said, ‘This was £200,000 being taken, mainly and indirectly, from the pockets of students in Aberdeen and straight into the coffers of Aberdeen City Council, I think it is fair to say there is an argument that it was a stealth council tax on students. The City Council has now recognised that that making that kind of surplus was completely out of order, and against the government legislation, and should never of happened. This fee was also having a real negative effect on the availability of affordable housing in Aberdeen, when the City Council should be doing whatever it can to encourage landlords to rent to students. So, whilst we would have hoped that the fee would have gone lower, this is still a massive victory for the students of Aberdeen’. Aberdeen Students’ Forum is an umbrella grouping for the four National Union of Students (NUS) Scotland affiliated Student Associations in Aberdeen. Together Aberdeen University Students’ Association, RGU Students’ Association, Aberdeen College Students’ Association and the Scottish Agricultural College Student Representative Council represent 60,000 students living in and around Aberdeen. ASF had worked closely over the course of the last year with landlords, and in particular the Scottish Association of Landlords (SAL) to bring the campaign to a successful conclusion. NUS Scotland now plan to investigate if other Councils in Scotland are making similar profits from students. NUS demo in London A n a t i o n a l d e m o n s t r a t i o n and mass march to highlight the adverse affects of university funding cuts is to take place in London later this year. The event ‘Fund our Future: Stop Education Cuts’ is being jointly organised by the National Union of Students (NUS) and University and College Union (UCU). For more information see www. demo2010.org S tudents have been cautioned to remain vigilant to the threat of theft as it emerged that the average undergraduate now takes possessions worth almost £4,000 to university. Endsleigh, the insurancefirm which conducted the research, found that the value of student belongings had increased, with expensive electronic equipment- such as laptops and smartphonescarried to, on and off campuses. “It‘s important to remember that items which are lighter and smaller are also more prone to loss or theft” said Vicki O’Connell, Endsleigh spokeswomen. Last year 393,000 domestic burglaries took place, according to the Home Office, with halls of residence offering an enticing target. Yet the extent of the problem can be exaggerated. In Aberdeen, Grampian Police reported that the number of robberies (and assaults with the intent to rob) had almost halved in the five years from 2005/6. Furthermore, the University would like to make known the raft of measures designed to ensure the safety of those students living on-site. Not only does accommodation at Hillhead and on King’s Campus have fully monitored CCTV, but the porter staff are on duty at all hours every day. In the event that an incident should occur contact numbers are published within personal safety information to be given to all residents; information also available on the Campus Services’ web page. For those living in privately rented accommodation insurance will vary. Landlords may or may not offer cover; and students should check what, if any, protection a parental policy provides.

4 Opine OPINE EDITOR: Jonathan Kerr [email protected] 19th September 2010 GAUDIE Comment. Debate. Articulate. Orate. Is the pope truly a criminal? Xander Brouwer explains why he’ll be avoiding the Pope’s visit Xander Brouwer Watch this space Fresher’s week is over. Term looms before us. Those of us who labour over this fantastic newspaper – and it is fantastic, honest, don’t let anybody tell you different – know that it means an end to socialising once more and hours of toiling over typewriters whilst chain-smoking. With that in mind, I’d like to extend the hand of Opportunity to our newest students. This paper has been around a while, in many different guises, but in every single incarnation it needs you. We need people as keen as us to write for this paper, to tell us what we’re doing wrong, to seek out stories to intrigue and – with any luck – cause those above us in power to quake with fear. Whilst we are subsidised by the AUSA, we are not owned by them, so if you catch even a whiff of corruption then we want to know. The News section is full of sabertoothed journalists eager to find someone to prey on. The Sports section look for people who share their love of all things runny, jumpy, bouncy, hitty and…sporty. Every section in this paper is like a House at Hogwarts; whatever your interest, there will be a section for you to express and share that interest with a readership of billions, thanks to the new-fangled wizardries (pun intended and then immediately regretted) of the Interweb. This section, which I – for my crimes – am responsible for also seeks out people. We seek out anyone with a voice and a feeling of injustice done. If something has made you furious – and believe me, you’ll find something – then write it down. Try not to swear too much, or be reduced to just bashing the keyboard. This edition, for example, has a marvellously well reasoned piece about the visit of Pope Benedict XVI. Are you going to see the Vicar of Christ? Do you think the author is talking from within the depths of his rectum? The only way he’ll find out he is so very wrong is if you write in and tell him. So do it. Log yourself on, once you’ve stopped shaking with fury and praying for him to be smited (smitten? Check this. Ed) and scribble a reply. I will publish it. If, on the other hand, you are in complete agreement, then write in as well. Express how impressed you were with the writer’s style and grace and your sudden desire to pleasure him in ways that would set the page aflame. (We won’t be printing that bit. Ed) And if you think all of this was a pile of tosh and a waste of paper and, worse still, an insult to your booming intelligence then, well. I don’t give a tinker’s. Jonathan Kerr Opine Editor Dr. Trump Stephen Armitage other leaders in the world – especially with the fact that the Vatican is not actually a democracy either. And really, when an aide of the Pope calls the UK a “Third World country” a day before the visit because of “a new and aggressive atheism” clearly the Vatican does not maintain any equality itself, not accepting that states differ. And I do not oppose religion as such but this visit does not have much public support. At least it should have been a visit between two heads of state or two heads of church – a visit of equals and not one between inferiors. Who is the inferior figure? I leave that up to you to decide. RGU last week announced that it has chosen to grant Donald Trump with an honorary Doctor of Business Administration. The ceremony, to take place on Friday 8th October, is expected to be well attended by its invited guests and students. There’s no doubt that Donald Trump deserves recognition for his outstanding entrepreneurship, but is there really any need for RGU to do that honour? RGU’s Aberdeen Business School is renowned throughout Scotland and the rest of the UK as being one of the best institutes for graduate employability. I fear that RGU has put its undergraduates in a bad situation. Local & national opposition to Trump’s plans in the North East of Scotland has already divided Aberdeenshire Council, the Scottish Government and many businesses. My concern is that Trump has left such a bad taste in peoples’ mouths that the future employability of RGU’s students is at stake. If RGU really wanted to honour Trump, I think they should have waited a couple of years after the Golf Resort has opened. If the resort is successful in bringing jobs and money into Aberdeenshire’s economy, then it’s a success. He should be awarded by an increase in shares, not a doctorate. The initial costs for the Pope’s visit were estimated at £8 million and previsit estimates stated that this sum could rise to anywhere between £10m and £12m. The share of the cost to the Vatican is £7m, leaving the cost to the UK taxpayer at somewhere between £3 million and £5 million. The UK taxpayer, by the way, is not just people who work every day. We all pay tax via the wonder of VAT. But why should we – the tax payer – pay for a visit from a religious figure – or even a head of state? State visits happen all the time, but rarely do those concern religious figures. Even if the Queen visits another country she does this in her capacity as head of State not as Supreme Governor of the Church of England. State visits are necessary, in some cases to improve ties with countries, in others to build on strong, pre-existing links between the concerning nations. A visit from a religious figure, on the other hand, has no real importance to a country. Especially since the papal visit is essentially a public one, whilst visits from heads of State are generally more private visits during which issues concerning the two nations are carefully debated. So why pay for a visit like this? UK law still states that no Catholic can become the monarch, so why value the Catholic Church to the tune of £3 million? 79% Of the UK public agrees that the tax payer should not be paying for this visit. If almost 4/5 of the population thinks this about the Pope I do not want to know what this number would be if another religious leader were to visit the nation at cost to the tax payer. If, hypothetically speaking, that the Grand Ayatollah Ali Khamenei of Iran were to want to visit the UK: in that case I do not think anyone would want that visit to occur. And although to some extent that is fair enough, in the end the UK is a nation in which neither Catholicism nor Islam is the state religion, and we should maintain the equality for which the West prides itself. Of course we pride ourselves for our belief in freedom of speech as well but in the end we would not allow the Ayatollah to visit on the grounds that Iran is not a real democracy and that it suppresses women. Although the Vatican is a small nation it does the same. Women are still not allowed to become priest – let alone Pope. The Vatican too suppresses gays and has ridiculous views on contraception and because these views are actively promoted the spread of HIV only increases in the developing world. If taken from this perspective the Pope could not considered a whole lot better than some

[email protected] Opine 5 19th September 2010 GAUDIE Letters to the Editors To the Editors, I read your culture section with interest, but I believe you have missed something out. I was in a small Yorkshire town by the name of Holmfirth a few weeks ago, and the only ‘culture’ I found there was that which I scraped off the sole of my shoe. Your Sincerly, Leopold Byron Dear Sir, I was outraged to find that the average price of Supermarket value baked beans has increased from 49p per tin to 57p per tin. This increase is well over 6% real term increase while to compensate rising costs would dictate only a rise of 5.6%. What makes this sorry tale even more horrifying, is that so far the student community has not acted on this. Where are the protests and boycotts? All I can see is Student Apathy. Yours in Outrage, The Very Rev. Bernard Binglebaum, Bishop of Tooting. Dear Sir, I noticed that in the last edition, the Music section had been amalgamated into the Culture section, and that Features is now called Life and Style. Is there are particular reason for this changes? Anon Response: It was felt that there were not enough music articles being submitted to fill a separate music section, and so it was, as you put it, amalgamated into the Culture section. In regards to the Life and Style section, in the beginning of last year, the section was called features. It then changed to Campus, in an attempt to give the section a more university orientated edge. However, at the end of this year, it was decided that a Life and Style section can adequately cover all features, campus articles, and has a boarder remit. Ed. Xerses gets hold of e-mail Xerses Foreign correspondent To: Gaudie.editor:@abdn.ac.uk Subject: A view from the past Date sent: 493BC Main Text: I am Xerxes of Persia, the fourth Zoroastrian king of kings of the Achamenid Empire, son of Darius, and husband to Atossa, daughter of Cyrus the Great. And it is with great laughter and mirth that I look upon your feeble empires, your weak conjunctions between countries, and your laughable grip on power. For I command an empire stretching from Macadonia, to Aracosia and Bactria, and from Libya to the Caucasus Mountains, and it is am empire capable of crushing any that stand before me. Why, I look on Athens and rub my hands with glee when I think of the wealth that shall be taken from them. I look upon your government, those that do not pay taxes, and I weep. For if an area of my empire fails to pay, I remove the head and replace them, like a warrior changes an arrow head. If the citizens do not pay, they are beaten and then killed. Your dependence on other countries is laughable, for in my empire, the ‘daric’, a coin of the purest gold is used, and can be traded anywhere, as everyone knows the value of gold. Your ‘pound’ would serve better melted down to make nails fit for slaves to use. Where I conquer I let other faiths live, as long as they do not disturb me or my rule. I see your problems with the religion of “Islam”. I am told that it has many interpretations, but as I ask my subjects to, I ask you why you do not work together to solve this problem? And you complain about your leaders, calling them corrupt? What corruption do you know of? Corruption under my rule leads to death and the castigation of the family. With you, why, it seems to be inconsequential; a mere fine will not punish sufficiently, and the loss of a job merely throws the wretched individual to the ground where they may claim your ‘benefits’. I ask you to complain less, and learn to live with each other. You live a life of ease and luxury, a life where cares can be sorted by money, and where news from across your countries can reach you within seconds. The Persian Empire: Don’t complain.... Map: http://www.boisestate.edu/ courses/westciv/persian/02.shtml If you know of a manic leader wishing to get in touch, please give them the Opine e-mail: [email protected]

19th September 2010 GAUDIE Life & Style Life & Style editor: Johanna Faust [email protected] MY TOP5 Things I wouldn’t study abroad without by Julia Korzeniowska 1Patience: I have never dealt with such an arduous process as the application for the exchange before. Loads of calm needed. You’ll always have to fight with bureaucracy, though. You’ll have to face it in everyday life. Whatever you’d like to do: buy a new car, rent a flat, or go on holidays. Paperwork is just unavoidable. Also, when adjusting to a new environment, patience turns out to be really helpful. 2Support: From parents, family and friends. I will be homesick. That is why, knowing that someone is always there for me is so important. Even if they are 4000 miles away. Knowing there is a place you can always go back to. Somebody is waiting to welcome you home. 3My Laptop: A practical object. I wouldn’t study abroad without such an ingenious invention that allows me to use Skype 4A Camera: Never forget about your passions. A camera is something I always carry with me, to record and save my memories. 5Bravery: A lot is included in that one word: assertiveness, openness, willingness for adventures to happen, meeting new people, living in a new place, all the scary things I will have to face over the next year. Life. Relationships. Fashion. Food. 7 Email your top fives to: gaudie.lifeandstyle@abdn. ac.uk All entries are welcomed! Conventional wisdom THE LIFE AND STYLE EIDTOR COMPILES SOME SOUND ADVICE ABOUT FRESHERS WEEK Johanna Faust F reshers Week, the frenzied scramble to meet and greet has begun! It’s only the beginning to hopefully one of the most exciting years of your life. For a little guidance along the way we asked veteran freshman: Now that you are older and wiser, what advice would you have liked to have had as a freshman starting out? ***************************** Be open to meet and socialize with as many weird and wonderful people as you can, multiplied by 10. Chat with your professors and tutors, they are in the know and they are there for you! Make educated decisions even when drunk. Yes, this can be challenging but it has a huge pay off called ‘no regrets’. Be yourself. Don’t try to impress and put on airs. The stories of Seaton Park are not urban legends. Get involved in anything and everything. You never know what you’ll be good at and you might just meet some cool people on the way. Show initiative. (most people don’t). You will reap the benefits. Keep track of your money; you and your parents are not going to be happy if you can’t keep a budget. The people you meet in Freshers Week, you may never meet again. But their memories will be with you for FAR longer. Loose the habit of procrastination. There is really very little time in a semester. The year will be over before you get a chance to show your best side if you waste time. Don’t get too drunk. Meeting people by projectile vomiting on them is novel, but not classy. During Freshers Week do as much as possible, make sure you filled the whole day with fun stuff to do, if your invited you to do something go with the flow. Read the syllabus for your class. Mark the important dates on your calendar. It is essential that you stay organized. It takes at least a year to make a good friend. Call you parents regularly, it will make them happy. They miss you! Expert advice from a girl who was born in heels - If a shoe hurts, dab a little Vaseline on the spot that way no blisters guaranteed! ALWAYS use a condom. If you’re going to play hard, study harder, even in year one! Don’t forget your Aberdeen password and username and student ID. Memorize them, you will need it all the time. Again, take it easy on the booze; seven nights of being totally drunk will bring the Karmen for fashion Karmen Kasai The ugly truth straight up - fashion is a dictator! Don’t be shocked. Just have a look at an old picture of yourself. Are you wearing any of the same stuff? The turnover is fast and your clothing choices dominate the representation of you. Are we the victims of this predator named fashion? Just take a moment to look around and see how influential fashion is in your everyday life. How much time and money do you spend perusing fashion magazines like Vogue, the shops, the Internet, or your closet for the next ‘perfect’ outfit? The trends you see today may be gone tomorrow. We are constantly under the pressure of trends, how can you be yourself? Are we dominated by an industry that likes to think it’s publishing the 10 Commandments with its trends? An industry that feeds on your, often negative, body image, by making us spend millions to live up to an image that is unobtainable? Hold on, don’t get me wrong - I am not a fashion hater! I believe in the power of fashion as a means of expression! Regardless if you’re the hippy chic, the Goth, a top shop man, Armani or Primark obsessed, you can’t deny that you are making a statement. Ultimately fashion is not the haute couture you see on the models, its what you see on the streets! Thus in this jungle of la mode, we need to remember that fashion is not wearing us but that we wear fashion. It’s a classic rule; beauty comes from the inside. Fashion can be a chance for creative expression of our personalities. Dress to your personality; feel creative with fashion and the trends. Use what works for you and forget the rest. Take care of your body, eat right and exercise, your body is your canvas for fashion and your vehicle through life! You are all that makes an ordinary outfit seem extraordinary, anytime and anywhere... Ultimately you decide. Yes, there are the trendsetters and the designers but they work for us! We are the consumer; we decide on a trend, we decide on what’s popular and what’s not! For a ride through this jungle, feel free to stalk my *swaga* by reading regularly my rubric of fashion. Until then stay blessed :) worst hangover ever. Get to know second, third, fourth years on your course and others. Listen to their advice. Take advantage of student discount opportunities like snapfax. Get lots of vitamin C, Freshers Flu is not a myth. It’s okay to miss home. Everyone does. Agree? Disagree? Got another opinion? Want to have your own say? Get in touch by e-mailing gaudie. [email protected] .Advice.

In association with the Facebook group People going for dinner on Elphinstone road: “He has a fibreoptic urea, he can pee in all directions!” In the bathroom in the tiki cafe: “I am going to destroy her... Blair Waldorf style!” Sitting in the hub today: Guy 1; I can’t belive we have a f***ing Tory Government again! Guy 2; Oh come on it can’t be that bad Guy 1; Haven’t you heard about last time... Guy 2 (interupting) what the miners stike and all? Guy 1; no they f***ing cancelled Dr Who!!! In one of the Meston corridors: Girl (quizical): What is it that separates Humans from other animals? Boy (deadpan): Fences Girl looking upset in Priory: “Look, I know I slept with your brother but at least you know where I’ve been” In the foresterhill orthopaedic wards: Dude A: Did you go to the medsoc ball? Dude B: Nope. Dude A: Did you skive the ball too? 2 Guys walking past the hub: Guy one: It really sucks. Guy two: Yeah i know, Guy one: I really dont know why they wont let us do their makeup anymore? In the hub, at lunch: Boy: So how are you and your boyfriend? Girl: Oh, well he has trust issues.. Boy: Really? Girl: Yeah, he found out i might have feelings for someone else... Boy: Do you? Girl: I don’t know, I’m going out with him on fri and I will see. Join the group “Overheard at Aberdeen Uni” on facebook and submit your entries! OVERHEARD AT ABERDEEN UNIVERSITY Ask Barry... Originally from Glasgow, Barry is one of Scotland’s top psychologists and is here to help with any problems that you may have... Dear Barry, Yesterday I was applying “deep heat” to my shoulders after an intense workout session in the gym. A beautiful lass walked past, one thing led to another, and I now have “deep heat” all over some rather sensitive areas of my body. What should I do to stop the pain? Man up! Deep heat is used to reduce pain in muscles, but you, you smart arse, have used the wrong msucle! The problem you have is that it doesn’t just rub off (like you do), so you’re going to just wait for the effect to wear off. Maybe next time, try and exert some ‘self control’, rather than ‘yourself’. Dear Barry, I’ve met the most beautiful girl in the world! She’s Greek, pretty, intelligent, and shares the same fascination with 2nd hand Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and DIY waxing as I do. The only problem is that she wants a ‘buff’ man, and i’m anything but that. What’s your advice? So you want to buff up? I’d pump some iron, start running, and maybe not tell the world that you enjoy DIY waxing. Dear Barry, I’m with a guy I just can’t trust trust. He cheats so much I’m not even sure this baby I’m carrying is his. Yeeeesssss, this is “DEFINATELY” your man’s problem, no doubt about it. We’re obviously not strangers to love, you know the rules, and you wouldn’t get this from another guy. Thing is, I just want to tell you how I’M feeling, amd make YOU understand. I think your one, single, hope is that he never gives you up, never lets you down, never runs around, or hurts you. Just make sure he doesn’t make you cry or say goodbye, and as long as he doesn’t lie or hurt you, keep telling yourself it’s ALL him. Better? Life & Style 19th September 2010 GAUDIE 9 [email protected] 3 - 6 Campus guide FANNY JOHANSSON GIVES A TOUR OF OLD ABERDEEN Fanny Johansson F or my first semester at Aberdeen University I carried around a map of the campus in my bag. This was not a stupid idea as I got to be the one everyone asked when they were late for a class and didn’t know where they were supposed to be. Now most of the places have some sort of meaning, some memories attached to them; favourite spots, least favourite spots, good places to sit and do tutorial preparation, the places to got the good coffee, and where to find a loo when you really really need it. All these are things that the campus map didn’t tell me. I am a firm believer in finding your own way and the value of exploring things and not being handed info on a plate, but sometimes it’s good to share a few tips and hints. So here’s the utterly abridged Aberdeen University Old Aberdeen Campus Manual, or ‘Campus Tidbits’. Refreshments In the coffee department the official guides tell you about the Tiki cafés in the Hub and Zeste (numbers 5 and 33 on the campus map) and other café style places on campus. I recommend trying out as many as you can before choosing which one to make your personal ‘hang’. The general rule is that undergraduates and younger students stick with the Hub, while postgraduates, teachers and mature students prefer Zeste. At least this was general feel last year, it might well have changed, as life on campus does with every new student who arrives. As you will learn, here Tiki becomes synonymous with Coffee, so when you agree to meet someone at Tiki, make sure you specify which one, to avoid a lot of waiting and calling around. The AUSA guide is pretty packed with the official info, so instead, I will share some tips about where to best find that quick caffeine boost while hurrying to a tutorial at 9am, still half asleep. For those who live in Johnston or Crombie the Zeste Tiki is obviously the best choice. Their flavoured lattes are amazing, and they have a good selection of sandwiches (the Coronation Chicken ones disappear fast so grab one while they last) and muffins for when you need brain food and don’t have the time for a proper breakfast. The Tiki in Taylor (under the connecting bridge, by the east entrance, number 20 on the map) is the prefect onthe-run place for a drink and a snack, but note that it closes at 3pm so no good for late afternoon refreshments. Quick snacks from the vending machines in Taylor, MacRobert, The Queen Mother Library, Arts Lecture Theatre and King’s Conference Centre are also good to keep in mind, although what they offer won’t keep you sustained for more than a class or two. I also warmly recommend buying a Smug (reusable mug) from one of the Tikis, it will become you new best friend while making you feel caring and responsible. It costs 2 pounds and will save you 10p every time you buy a tea or coffee in it. Note though that this friend has a lifespan of about one to two semesters if used a lot (the top on my first one came off in about the 72nd wash), so don’t get too attached to it. Powder rooms I can’t count the times I’ve had to sit through a lecture or tutorial desperately needing the loo because I couldn’t find one suitably near while hurrying from one lecture to another, only to be told after the lecture that there’s one just around the corner from the lecture theatre. Some are clearly marked out and others, like the ‘time travel back to the 50s’ loo on the ground floor in Taylor C, are not: the entrance is cleverly hidden right next to the doors behind something that looks like a cloakroom desk. In general I do recommend taking some time in your first weeks to walk around looking for loos around the places you will be frequenting. This is preferably done with a newspaper in hand or a friend on the phone: this way you avoid looking like you’re looking for something, which, I’ve heard, is a big no no among students. Note that loos are scarce in the Queen Mother Library (number 9). On the first three floors there are both male and female loos, but above that ladies go to the fourth floor, gentlemen stay on the third floor. I have heard that there are loos on the ground floor as well, but I think this might be a myth. I dare you to find out. Quiet places The grassy bits in the Taylor quad (between 20 and 21 on the map) are good for a quiet chat, some reading, or just enjoying the sunny day while wondering what on earth the sculpture in the middle of the quad is supposed to be. Sometimes used by tutors in the Spring for outdoor tutorials (ask your tutor for this, if possible, it’s much nicer than sitting inside). The quad is also a good place to sit if you’re lonely – you can often find friends there as many people pass through on their way to various places. It also helps that both the Taylor Tiki, the Ki:lau Café and the newsagents are close by, on High Street. If you need to feel smart and sophisticated, or just a wee bit romantic, slowly stroll through or relax on the bench at the little walk through from High Street to Edward Wright and pretend to know what the Latin inscription on the wall means. Especially stunning in spring when the trees bloom, although this does make the little pond filled with petals and leaves, which can make it look less romantic but more interesting. If you just need a breather from the often busy life on campus I recommend a wander through the upper floor of the Old Brewery (number 21). This is where a lot of English and Philosophy lecturers have their offices, and the walls are covered in interesting, and often funny, articles and cartoons. Keep the noise down though, people are working behind these doors. If you need a bit of exercise you should walk up the stairs of the Cromwell tower (in the North-East corner of the King’s Quad, number 29) to find what I believe to be some sort of weather thingumyjigg set up by students of Geography. Whatever it is it looks funky, and the view from up there is rather cosy and old worldly. Please note that this is not a comprehensive list of all the loos, coffee shops and benches on campus (if it were our campus would be rather crowded), I wouldn’t want to rob you of the joy of finding some places of your own!

10 19th September 2010 GAUDIE Listings Listings editor: Aaron Murry [email protected] Gigs. Venues. Nightlife. Events. Party til’ late Saturday 18th Sunday 19th Monday 20th Tuesday 21st We d n e s d ay 22nd Thursday 23rd Friday 24th JP’s University Bar & Grill Where Are You From? 8pm – 1am The chance to meet some new friends and get a bit smashed. Liquid The Unofficial Welcome Party. 9.30pm – 3am Featuring an actual TV film crew! Korova Candybox Launch Party 10pm – 3am Dance, rock, indie pop and free sweets. Korova has it all. Snafu Mothership 10pm Adam Ackers and Glen Scislowski JP’s University Bar & Grill Big Fat Quiz Part 1 6pm – 8pm Test your brainpower with their AUSA-themed pub quiz. Liquid Official Welcome Party: Guest DJ 9.30pm – 2am How will they top Kissy Sellout last year? Korova Early Xmas Party 9.30pm – 2am Crack out the Santa hat and get a free present! Tiger Tiger Super Sunday A superhero-themed start to Tiger’s Freshers Week programme. JP’s University Bar & Grill The Hu$tle 9pm – 12.30am Your chance to win a Playstation 3. Dress to impress so you can collect all those valuable ‘JP bucks’ from your fellow Freshers, by any means necessary Liquid University Challenge 9.30pm – 2am Epic battle of the Student Presidents. AU vs. RGU – it’s gonna be brutal. Korova Sports Day 9.30pm – 2am Games, and prizes to be won. Priory Hogwarts Party 10pm – 3am Bring your wands to the Great Hall and try the spellbound VK pitchers. Café Drummonds Open Mic Night 10pm – 2am Your chance to shine in the limelight. Tiger Tiger Vodka Island Freshers Launch The student-friendly club night starts the year off in style. JP’s Bar & Grill Club Tropicana 8pm – 12am A beach party that will bring a ray of sunshine to Liquid Billy Bongo’s World Famous Baywatch Bikini Beach & Foam Party From 9pm Guaranteed to be pretty mad. Two foam cannons and plenty of drinks promos. Korova Funky Milk Relaunch Party 22.30pm – 2am Drum n’ Bass, Dubstep, Priory URBAN Tuesday 10pm – 3am Like Urban, RnB, Hip Hop, Funk and/or Soul? This one’s Snafu Comedy Night 7.30pm – 10.30pm Scottish Comedian of the JP’s University Bar & Grill House Party...Toga Up 8pm – 12am They’ll have beer pong. Naturally, that requires a Liquid Animal House Frat Party / Toga 9.30pm – 2am Apparently ‘jelly wrestling’ also requires a toga. It’s a great day for bedsheet retailers. Tunnels Club No Borders 10pm – 2am An alternative night away from the madness of Belmont Street. Priory Purple Wednesdays Launch / UV Foam Party 10pm – 3am 500 balloon drop. Prizes. Drinks promotions. FOAM. All for you. Pearl Lounge Jellybaby Freshers Fest 10pm – 2am £1 jelly shots and two floors of music to get you bouncing. Tiger Tiger Big Brother Party – With Nikki Graham WHO IS SHE?! WHERE DID YOU FIND HER? Liquid Octopussy Presents: Dirty Sanchez Pritchard and Dainton DJ Set 9pm – 2am Octo has managed to up the craziness stakes for Freshers Week. Priory Mexican Fiesta Night 10pm – 3am Just when you thought bringing that sombrero was a mistake. Pearl Lounge Mardi Gras 10pm – 2am Electro/Dubstep/Carnival and free entry with your AUSA wristband. Tunnels Gig For Palestine 8pm – 11.30pm £3 donation. All profits go Café Drummonds Ayoba! 8pm – 3am Tropical and Latin rhythms, as well as Afrobeat. The Bobbin Acoustic Night 9pm – 11.30pm Hosted by Davy Shanks and featuring a selection of singer-songwriters. Tiger Tiger Austin Powers Power Party It’s unconfirmed, but apparently Verne Troyer AKA Mini Me from the films will JP’s University Bar & Grill Love Music Hate Homophobia 8pm - 12am Celebrating diversity with a night of live music. JP’s University Bar & Grill School Disco Pre-Party 8pm Liquid Liquid High: The School with No Rules 10pm – 2am There’s no other school like this. Priory Life’s a Beach 10pm – 3am Beachwear party with a totally tubular surf simulator. Pearl Lounge Super Heroes Night 10.30pm – 3am Dress up as your favourite superhero. Prize for best dressed. 90p drinks. Origin Jungle Nation w/ Twisted Individual 11pm – 3am Drum and bass night. £7 entry. Franklyns 3Sixty Fresher’s Launch (formerly known as 300) 10pm – 2am £1 drinks and pumped-up tunes at a students-only club night. Saturday 25th JP’s University Bar & Grill Superheroes Party 8pm Liquid Ministry of Sound Presents: Hed Kandi 9.30pm – 3am Buy your tickets early because this will be very popular. Korova Techno & Dance / Rock Club / Chart, Indie & RnB 10pm Three floors of music. Sunday 26th JP’s University Bar & Grill Pre Between the Sheets PJ Party 8pm Prepare yourself for the slumber party in Liquid. Liquid Slumberland PJ Party 10pm – 2am Wear your best/most outrageous pyjamas. Korova Chill Out Funk / Open Mic / RnB 10pm Tunnels Get Cape Wear Cape Fly 7.30pm – 10.30pm As part of the tour for his newly-released third album.

Listings 19th September 2010 GAUDIE 11 [email protected] Give our livers a break Saturday 18th Charities Carnival Extravaganza Hillhead/Crombie Johnston Halls 12pm BBQ, banter and music from Aberdeen Student Radio. Christian Union BBQ The Mission, Kings College 7pm Free food and the chance to meet new people. S u n d a y 19th M o n d a y 20th Tu e s d a y 21st Wednes - day 22nd Th u r s d ay 23rd F r i d a y 24th Sunday 26th Pan’s Labyrinth Room G15, St Mary’s, Kings College 7pm – 9pm Free showing of the famously imaginative Spanish-language film. British/Sociology Society International Fair Duthie Park 8am – 5pm An official Give-It-A-Go AUSA University Fayre Kings Playing Fields 11am – 2pm For all your academic and course-related questions. AUSA Climate Change Fayre Kings Playing Fields 11am – 2pm Find out about all the events that AUSA’s Climate Change project has lined up for this year and also sign up for volunteer work. AUSA Well-Fayre King’s Playing Fields 11am – 2pm The place to find answers to all your university lifestyle questions. International Meal The Hub 6.30pm Hosted by the Christian Union. The meal is in Kings Community Church but meet at the Hub. Persepolis Room G15, St Mary’s, Kings College 7pm – 9pm French animated film about the Iranian revolution. Free showing. AUSA Sports Fayre King’s Playing Pitches 11am – 3pm Get your freebies and join some sports teams to burn off all that booze. PILLOW FIGHT (by the fountain) Seaton Park 4pm – 6.30pm Bring your own pillow. An Evening of Jazz AUSA Butchart Centre 8pm – 10.30pm A jazz trio bring a bit of soul to your evening. Christian Union Acoustic Night The Blue Lamp 8pm – 11pm A more relaxed and chilled night out. AUSA Societies Fayre Kings Playing Pitches 11am – 3pm More free merch and an opportunity to join tons of amazing societies. AUSA Equal Opps Diversity Night AUSA Butchart Centre 6pm – 9pm Ethnic cuisine, salsa dancing, Scottish country dancing and an African drumming workshop. Ghost Walk New Kings, Kings College 7pm – 8pm The Storytelling Society spin ghostly tales around campus. Improv Theatre Workshop Room 268, MacRobert building, Kings College 6pm – 9pm Brought to you by the Improv Theatre Society. Just For a Laugh AUSA Butchart Centre 8pm – 9pm Live comedy show by, you guessed it, the Comedy Society. Revrock Taster Room 055, MacRobert Building, Kings College 7pm – 8.30pm The University’s very own rock choir invites you to show off your vocal cords. La Haine Room G15, St Mary’s, Kings College 7pm – 9pm French-language film. Free showing. Fashion Opening Elphinstone Hall 7pm – 9pm A Fashion Society extravaganza. Amnes-teaser NK7, New Kings, Kings College 7pm – 9pm A chance to find out more about the University’s Amnesty International Society. Workshop: Minority Languages NK11, New Kings, Kings College 3pm – 5pm Free workshop. Dance Showcase Room 614, MacRobert building, Kings College 3pm – 4.30pm The Dance Society bust some moves. The Edukators Room G15, St Mary’s, Kings College 7pm – 9pm German film. Free showing. Saturday 25th FREE BIKES Becycle (G34 Don Street) 1pm – 6pm £40 refundable deposit required. Belleville Rendez-vous Room G15, St Mary’s, Kings College 7pm – 9pm French film. Free showing. Child’s Play Seaton Park (by the fountain) 3pm Relive your childhood with a variety of outdoor games. The Full Monty Room G15, St Mary’s, Kings College 7pm – 9pm Classic 90s comedy. Free showing. Arts Lecture Theatre Treading the Boards Society Auditions 5pm – 10pm Seeking new acting talent from the Fresher population. Remember this scene: Campus is rarely like this during fresher’s week Photo: Leo Stockford

12 19th September 2010 GAUDIE Arts Arts editor: Anne-Claire Deseilligny [email protected] Screen. Stage. Literature. Technology. Anne-Claire Deseilligny Arts Editor You have found the Culture section. Welcome. Please come in and remember to wipe your shoes. Oh, and enjoy your stay of course. As wonderful as I hope your holidays have been, it is now time to return to the grind, slash partying. And unfortunately for me, this applies to The Gaudie too. If you are like most students, you probably have an ambitious list of good resolutions for the new academic year: you will visit the library at least twice a week, go to the gym more than once a month, etc. The whole question of course being whether you will be able to stick to them or not. Well in that respect, the Culture section is like any student: it has taken good resolutions and is going to strive to abide by them. The first of these, and to my mind the most important, is that this part of The Gaudie should be truly like you. Yes, you with your eclectic tastes, from Ska-P and Scorsese, pantomime and poetry, to Turner and Tchaïkovski. The more varied the articles presented in this section, the better. The second good resolution is to talk about things which directly affect you, i.e. no more reviews of gigs which happened in Vienna two months ago. Local events will be privileged. But we do want to offer a little consistency, for which we are proud to present two columnists: Fanny Johansson, who will deal with Art or culture in general, and Eoin Smith, who will be regaling you with his thoughts on music. I sincerely hope you enjoy their musings. And finally, the last big one is about the quality of writing. Of course, one can only work with what one gets, but I promise that I will try my utmost to make sure that the articles are devoid of spelling mistakes, and more generally, just agreeable to read. Unfortunately, there is a catch to these resolutions, however virtuous they may be. For indeed, they rely entirely on your contributions. To ensure variety, quality and an interesting content, we need as many contributors as possible. Do not be shy about your writing style; if you do not like it, how better to improve it than by practising regularly? Furthemore, you can rest assured that your efforts will be rewarded by publication, for even if we do not have enough space for you in the printed version, your article will find its place on The Gaudie website. I am looking forward to reading you. And may inspiration come to us all! Fanny Johansson Me, myself. And Art. S omeone once asked me to define culture. I’m sorry what? Define culture. Well now that’s easy. Culture is Mozart and Brecht, it’s Rolling Stones and Michelangelo, it’s Sylvia Plath and Louis Vuitton, it’s fridge poetry and a drawing by fiveyear-old me, it’s... oh no wait, it wasn’t that easy to define. Well, at least it can be defined by what it’s not. Culture is not... Culture seems to be one of those undefinable things. It’s a term broad enough to not get an Encyclopaedia Britannica entry on its own (instead there are 10 pages of entries on different aspects or types of culture ranging from Polynesian culture to cell culture). Culture used to be strictly defined: poetry had rules, art had to look a certain way, music had to stick to certain harmonies. Slowly those rules were broken down by the radicals in every decade and now I find myself standing on a plate of what I’m told is the cultural gourmet created by universal tolerance. In this restaurant anything goes as long as it’s served on a plate. And if it isn’t it still goes, as a plate-less specialty. All this reminds me of a little piece of verbal culture that hung on the wall in a storage shed at my grandparents’ in a simple wooden frame when I was a child: “Consumption of alcohol on these premises is strictly forbidden. Unless accompanied by fish. Fish, in this case, includes all kinds of food except haggis. In the unlikely event that haggis would be served, it would also be defined as fish”. (crude translation from Swedish is entirely mine) This, to me, defines the current state of culture. Anything can be defined as culture as long as someone defines it as such. In this world all rules about what culture is will duly be broken, one by one. In this little corner of this particular cultural publication I will poke around at all things cultural on a regular basis. As I don’t like having the fruit of my creative efforts broken I will abstain from creating any definition of what culture is. Instead, I will define culture as everything and anything that feels cultural to me, at that point in time, in that particular space. I dare you to create a piece of culture that breaks that rule. Culture: Anything you define it as Photo by: Fanny Johansson Featured writer The author is a third year History of Art student who has every coat, bag and jeans pocket filled with little pieces of paper, scribbled full of brilliant ideas about art, life and everything. On these are noted, in whatever writing tool that has been at hand at the time, the answers to every mystery in the world. Occasionally she picks out one of these pieces of paper and tugs and pulls and stretches out the ideas in an attempt to make the moment’s genius visible and clear to others. Sometimes she fails at this and has to fall back on her natural ability to make words seem fancier than they are. She is also very humble. A Fresher’s guide to seeing a Monet in Aberdeen Jennie Bancroft Gallery review S tanding proudly but unobtrusively at the end of Belmont Street is a rather unassuming building filled with the most wonderful artistic gems. You might find yourself staggering past it on the way to get the No. 20 home after a particularly heavy night or strolling leisurely in front of it on your way to explore the hidden treasures of Rosemount. In fact, welcome to the Aberdeen Art Gallery! I urge you to take at least a quick look inside and explore their beautiful collections. The Fine Art works on display range from the mid 1800s to the present day, and make for a fine introduction to the ‘Modern’ period. The timeline begins on the first floor of the gallery in the room to the left of the stairs. Here the jewel-like colours of the Pre-Raphaelites shine out at you from one wall, while the more earthy tones of John Phillip’s Spanish inspired paintings draw you in from another. The adjoining room contains beautiful examples of Victorian portraiture and landscape - here you receive bonus points for finding the one with a very skewed idea of perspective. Through a small door one steps onto the balcony which overlooks the old sculpture courtyard and walks into a lighter, airier room where the Realists appear. A fine selection including beautiful pieces by Breton and Courbet, as well as a sterling collection of works by the ‘Glasgow Boys’: a group of young painters who, in the 1880s, were greatly inspired by the French Realists. Continuing to the left, we find ourselves in a small room of Impressionists where both Manet and Monet make a brief appearance alongside Scottish contemporaries. Through to the long gallery (and continuing on the main balcony above the foyer) one finds a selection of pieces from the 20th century – almost exclusively by Scottish artists – which is well worth a look. Downstairs once more we find ourselves in the 21st century, surrounded by controversial and provoking works from the YBAs and their contemporaries. This year marks the gallery’s 125th anniversary, making it an ideal time to visit. Pick up a programme – you’ll find one in the Crombie/Johnston halls, just outside the Tiki Café beside the vending machines – and pick your ideal exhibit; there’s plenty of choice. And, at the very least, there is a fabulous shop with a large variety of gifts, cards and stationery; or else a hot coffee and a home bake at the café should be enough to drag you out of the treacherous Aberdonian winter! Any good resolutions for the new semester? The Culture section has a few.

19th September 2010 GAUDIE 13 [email protected] Muse, Madness, Iron Maiden, The Hives, Kasabian, Billy Talent and Thirty Seconds to Mars. Some people would love this line up. Some would hate it. However, I suppose the more important thing is to explain where I was. Over the Easter holidays I took in my first large festival. Unlike most people however, it wasn’t in Scotland or even England. I was fifteen hundred miles away: the Sziget Festival on the Óbudai-sziget, a leafy island on the Danube, right in Budapest. Now I have had many friends in the past explain that a festival is fantastic, despite the bands which are playing. They insist that the event itself is reason enough to go and this is why they religiously keep on going, even if they sometimes aren’t interested in any of the bands playing! I didn’t understand this. I have never grasped how standing in a muddy field for a weekend in a perpetual state of drunkenness would be fun, especially if you are paying upwards of one hundred and eighty quid for the experience. And unfortunately that opinion remains nearly the same. Don’t get me wrong, my perception of festivals has changed; however, my understanding of this festival logic has not. I loved the days where there were bands that I enjoy. Hearing Madness, The Hives, Bad Religion and Ska-P made for one of the most entertaining days of my life. On the morrow however, there were no bands we wanted to see, so we still had fun taking in the sights and sounds of the festival instead. We meandered around the two hundred and sixty six acre island enjoying the extra things the site had to offer, whether it be performance artists or stage shows. But quickly, things started to wane, for there were no more bands to catch my attention. I had seen those I wanted to see. In all fairness, I suppose there were a few left, like Iron Maiden. And yes some of the unknown bands turned out to be fantastic, Billy Talent, Intim Torna Illegál, Sonny and his wild cows and Road Kill Cafe to name but a few. So festivals don’t seem to be for me after all. If there was an all star line up with a band every day I want to see I would probably go again, but would I go just for the sake of it like some people? I’m sorry but I just don’t get it. Yes I understand now that a festival, well at least Sziget, isn’t just a bunch of drug fuelled, drunken people wandering around in a mud pit for a week. Well actually, having said that, the mud pit part was true, thanks to a torrential thunderstorm. Sziget - unpronounceable? And worth it? .FESTIVALS. Sean McNally Did Dalí create our police forces? Arts Sziget: Not your average music festival? Photo by: Sean Mcnally S o, there I was in the US of A sitting in a ‘Theories of International Relations’ class, listening to the Rationalist View of the Peloponnesian war with half an ear, when I was cruelly subjected to the worst sort of intellectual douchebaggery known to undergraduates. My bearded, sable-clad neighbour had raised his pale, monitor bleached hand and in the most arrogant and condescending voice asked “This is all very well, but what happens if we consider this from a Nihilist perspective?” Then, after laying his perceived scholarly trump card, he reclined in his seat with what I can only assume he imagined to be a knowing half-smile playing across his lips (actually it made him look like a carp in pain, but that’s not the point). This was greeted by a collective groan from the other students (because there’s one thing that students hate more than long winded professors, it’s other students who think that they’re smarter than the teacher.) I was particularly annoyed because: 1) I hate Nihilists and; 2) I disliked the guy anyway. This prompted me to snap back at him “In that case why don’t we consider it from a surrealist perspective as well?” Needless to say, Hilarity Ensued. Despite encouraging a couple of doodles on the idea, I didn’t think much about surrealism until once back in the UK. I’d casually turned onto ITV during an advert break. Now, in the US adverts are plentiful and to the point – Buy this truck, look how big and shiny it is. Buy our Health insurance, because you are going to die. Buy our power-tools, because other brands are rubbish! However, once you get to old Europe the whole ”making sense” thing is considered a bit old fashioned, so cue the car driving through town while the town fires giant paintballs at it, or the equally nonsensical running tic-tac men, or my personal favourite: Gorilla Drumming to Phil Collins. And it’s not only the people down in marketing that are thinking this way - Has anyone looked at our police force recently? Compared to the rest of the world, our police look like militant teletubbies, with bright neon jackets and oddly shaped helmets, armed with nothing but some light hearted banter and a stick they’re not allowed to use. Or the prevalence of Bansky and Hurst in popular culture, or the Reno Megan, or Boris Johnson, or the popularity of Big Brother. Are we slowly getting more and more detached from reality? With society ambling sedately towards a new decade leaving the “noughties” behind (again, really?) I’m looking forward to David Clegg’s government introducing pink fireengines, on the grounds that Red is an angry colour, or knocking off all the gothic decoration on the houses of Parliament because they are too pointy, also, anything that Prince Phillip says. Answers on the back of a postcard. Henry Booth Swing it! Philipp Trösser Back in the old days, when the 1920s were still roaring, when Lindy hopped the Atlantic, when in the U.S. the sale of alcoholic beverages was banned, and when Jazz was regarded as ‘immoral’; people hurled themselves into even more immorality. Music was changing and so was Dancing. Lindy hop, owing its name to Charles Lindbergh’s flight over the Atlantic, was born in the black communities of Harlem, New York and quickly found appreciation in the flourishing New York Jazz scene of the 1920s. The enormous Savoy Ballroom would become legendary. This was where giants such as Shorty George hopped and this is where the authentic Swing dance today known under the name of “Lindy hop” developed. Lindy hop is partner dancing par excellence. It enchants by its infinite creativity, its wonderful play on both musical and rhythmical contrasts, its overflowing energy on the one hand and smooth Blues moves on the other. It is unique in its emphasis on connection and harmony between the partners which is achieved by means of an intense non-verbal dialogue: Leading and Following. Ladies and Gentlemen, imagine a world where alcohol is no longer a prerequisite for feeling most amazingly good on the dance floor. The only magic pill against awkwardness is Swing Dancing in Aberdeen, and everybody can dance! “It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that Swing”. Do you have an experience you’d like to tell us about? Send to us at gaudie.arts@ abdn.ac.uk Festival review

14 19th September 2010 GAUDIE [email protected] Arts .MUSIC. Making the move up to u n i v e r s i t y, and maybe even moving to a new city, can be a daunting and scary experience. What better way, then, to get acquainted with your new surroundings than by immersing yourself in Aberdeen’s vibrant and exciting music scene? Almost every night of the year, you’re guaranteed to be able to find live music in the city: whether it’s a cover band playing in Ma Cameron’s, or a chart-topping megastar headlining at the AECC, there is always something going on. Despite the recent closure of one of Aberdeen’s most loved venues – Warehouse – the city’s eclectic mix of venues and musicians ensures that there is always something for everyone. Over the past few months, Aberdeen’s larger venues have played host to household names like Blink 182, KT Tunstall and Crowded House while lesser-known touring bands like Unicorn Kid, Sonic Boom Six and Inme have excelled in the city’s smaller clubs and bars. And aside from visiting artists, Aberdeen has a thriving music scene all of its own: local favourites Right Hand Left, FiveFifteen and Captain Face can often be found gigging in and around the city, and are always guaranteed to be playing their hearts out. Also worth a listen are Indian Red Lopez, who hail from deepest darkest Aberdeenshire, and play a unique brand of electroindie enhanced during live performances by striking psychedelic visuals; and The granite is alive with the sound of music Eoin Smith Do you know of any hidden cultural or artistic gems that you’d like to share? Where’s the best place to hear your favourite music? E-mail [email protected] Featured Writer Stanley, an eccentric pop band guaranteed to put a smile on your face with their vibraphone-infused hits-inthe-making! But this humble wee article merely scratches the surface of what’s on offer in Aberdeen: whatever you’re into – be it indie or jazz; ska or metal – there’s something for you here. So get out there, explore, indulge in some music-based shenanigans, and above all have some fun! Gaudie needs YOU Seen a brilliant band? Been to a fantastic exhibition? Seen a cataclysmic event? Are you just plain angry about something? Got some advice that people should here? None of the above? Our editors want to hear from you - from the sublime to the ridiculous, we want your articles. Editors: [email protected] News: [email protected] Opine: [email protected] Life and style: [email protected] Listings: [email protected] Arts: [email protected] Sports: [email protected]

The Editorial Hello! ¡Hola! Bonjour! Tjolahejssan! Salaam! It’s Leo here, head of production and photography. As the editors are away on romantic sojourns in various parts of the world, it’s fallen to me to guest edit this edition. Looking back at my first fresher’s week, it’s something I’ll never forget. Day 1 – pull beautiful girl. Day - make friends with seagulls. Day 3 – wake up on the golf course. Days 4, 5, and 6 – not for printed media. And on that note, welcome to the Fresher’s Edition of the Gaudie – one of the longest running student newspapers in Scotland. We need YOU (yes, this you reading this over a shoulder!) We want YOU to write for us, photograph for us, and review for us. Want to write in another language? Please do! Got a great photo or news story? Send it to us! With a new year ahead, and a new team, the Gaudie promises to be bigger and better than ever! The editors will be back, but in their absence, I’d like to welcome you (back, in many cases) to the University of Aberdeen, the Gaudie, and many years of times you won’t forget, wonderful and mesmerizing people, seagulls galore, and the best that Scotland has to offer. The news over the holidays has been tumultuous, from the floods in Pakistan, all the way to the highly debatable cuts in the public sector, and the news that pizza actually DOES have health benefits. Whilst the Gaudie can’t offer world stopping news, it is the voice of the students - if you have an idea, send us an e-mail! Leo Stockford Gaudie Academia So you want to be a spaceman? Heather Doran Techfest started with an ex NASA shuttle pilot, Duane Carey, giving an inspiring talk about his fascinating life as an air force commander, test pilot and astronaut. His talk covered many of the interesting and exciting parts of being an astronaut, including showing a short film that was made in space by himself and a friend (including how to sleep, eat and go to the loo in space). What struck me the most though, were the images of space that he showed; some were of the earth, and some were taken by the Hubble telescope of the many thousands of galaxies which exist in the vast expanse of space. Space is mind-blowing; its sheer size is beyond what most of us can comprehend. Duane believes that there is life in space. His view, ever 19th September 2010 GAUDIE 15 Hi everyone! Welcome to all those new students arriving here at the University and welcome to being a member of Aberdeen University Students’ Association (AUSA), the only organisation that exists purely to make your life better in any way that we can. And of course a huge welcome back to everyone who is returning for another year of student life at Aberdeen. For those of you who I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting yet, my name is Robin Parker and I am the current President of the Students’ Association, that means I was elected, along with five other Sabbaticals, by you guys to take a year out of my studies to represent you and be the public face of the Students’ Association, and it is my absolute pleasure to have that honour. It is going to be another incredibly exciting and challenging year for AUSA. We are in a new building, Butchart, down on University Road, which is starting to look and feel like the awesome place that it should be. Butchart if there just for you all, so come and use it – have a super cheap coffee, meet your friends in the luxurious surroundings or make use of our outstanding services, we are here to help. We’ve also got a number of new staff working for us, and I’d like to wish them a very warm welcome to AUSA. Unfortunately there are huge challenges ahead for us as students over the coming years. The current Government’s approach to public spending is rapidly coming to resemble a cheap horror flick as they cut, hack and slash at the deficit. The speed and depth of the cuts fly not only in the face of our collective futures but in the face of some very basic 1st year economics. There is a very real threat hanging over this University that we may lose millions of pounds of direct income, leading either to massive reductions in the quality of our education as we miss out on tutorials and on the latest books, equipment and study materials. Or we face paying more, either directly through Tuition Fees, or through even worse levels of student support – as students take on more parttime work and live further below the poverty line. The only answer to this massive challenge is for us to stand up and be counted – it is now or never for us to make it clear that we will not have our education pay for the mistakes of others. It is absolutely vital that we do not bow to the false logic of the necessity of massive cuts now nor that we allow our University Education to become an easy target. Taking this action will need to become AUSA’s number one priority over the next couple of years, so watch this space for ways you can be involved. You are always welcome to get in touch – sapresident@ abdn.ac.uk Robin Parker Student President The President’s Corner his life and went for it. So if you have a dream and think it is impossible, how do you get there? Some of Duane’s advice was: if you have a dream of something you want to achieve, plan how you are going to get there. You may have to go through years of doing things you do not enjoy, but remember why you are doing it. The easy option isn’t always the most rewarding. The final piece of advice is incredibly important – don’t give up. If someone tells you no, find out why, work harder and then try again. His story is one of genuine determination and hard work. Duane retired from NASA; he and his wife promised each other that when their oldest daughter went to college they would travel the world on motorbikes. They are now spreading the word of science, technology and inspiration as they go. Life is about living; not just about work. Make sure that what you are doing in life makes you truly happy - create and stick to career AND personal dreams. You surely enjoy eating chocolate. But did you know it may actually be good for your health? Researchers all over the world are trying to find out if dark chocolate has benefits for your heart, helps prevent strokes and lowers blood pressure. We wanted to speak to the people behind one of those mouthwatering research projects. Luisa Ostertag is a PhD student at the University of Aberdeen Rowett Institute of Nutrition and Health in the group of Dr Baukje de Roos. Luisa gave a talk on her research as part of Techfest 2010. We spoke to Luisa find out more about the PhD student with the enviable research project. Q: Your research at the Rowett Institute of Nutrition and Health is based on chocolate. Can you explain more about it? A: Our project is basically about the role of platelets in cardiovascular disease and how this can be influenced by diet. On the one hand you want platelets to be active to stop bleeding, on the other hand you don’t want them to be too active and contribute to plaque formation in blood vessels. Plaque formation is part of the onset of atherosclerosis which may lead to conditions like heart attack or stroke. A healthy diet seems to protect from cardiovascular disease. A reason for that can be polyphenols found in vegetable and fruit. One particular class of them are flavonoids which are very abundant in cocoa, for example. There have been a few studies on how consumption of wine, tea or chocolate influences platelet function. The most conclusive studies show positive effects of cocoa or dark (!) chocolate. Q: In your talk you will present a part of that research. How do you feel about working on a project that can easily be related to everyday life? A: It’s nice when you give presentations because everybody likes the topic. [smiles] But the public interest makes it hard sometimes. I cannot always put my data in talks or reports, as we are wary that we give away too much which might affect future publication. Q: Giving a talk to the general public must be very different from giving a talk at a scientific meeting. Do you find it easy to abandon technical lingo in order to explain your work to non-specialists? A: I’ll be able to tell you on Tuesday… [smiles] Well, for this talk I couldn’t recycle my old presentations. This presentation needs some more explanation and pictures. As for the lingo, sometimes I only know the technical term because that’s the only way I’ve learned the English word. For example once I asked our technician if I can use the word ‘metabolite’. She said no and suggested using ’product of metabolism’. I found that surprising. Q: Your research has attracted national attention. How do you feel about this recognition? A: The initial attention came from a local press release that was issued to find volunteers for our study. We received thousands of emails, not only from within the UK, but even world-wide. Then the wider press took a note of our project. It was a bit of a snow ball. It’s nice and I am definitely learning something from it. Also it might help our group to get funding in the future, which is always a positive thing. Heather Doran Interested in writing about science? Passionate about science communication? Please get in touch to join the Science Journalism group. I am looking for science writers for write ups of science events in Aberdeen and general comments on popular science. Please email [email protected] Reaching for the stars the scientist, is that statistics suggest there is life in space. The huge numbers of galaxies are full of stars and planets, so it would be incredible for our planet to be the only one perfect for life. He also believes we should continue exploring in space, send people to Mars, (people could learn a lot by forming new colonies on another planet), as well as leaving the human race in a better position if anything happened to earth. For this, engineers, physicists, and biologists are needed - Duane recognises and praises greatly all the NASA experts on the ground; without them there would be no space exploration. So how to become an astronaut? Duane tells the story of how anyone can achieve their dreams through persistence and hard work. Duane himself says that he isn’t anything special; he failed science at school, didn’t go to college straight away, but decided on what he wanted to do with Techfest is running from 11th - 27th September. The principle funders are BP and Shell. To find out more visit: http:// www.techfestsetpoint.org.uk/ Dark Secrets of Chocolate Christiane Wirrig Interview with Luisa Ostertag

Sport SPORTS EDITOR: Ryan Ross [email protected] This man appears EVERYIt’s almost like John and Joe like him..... 16 19th September 2010 GAUDIE Andy Murray’s Decision Backfires I n the lead up to the US Open, held in New York, much of the talk was about Andy Murray’s decision to part ways with his coach, Miles Maclagan. Questions were raised as to whether this would weaken his chances of winning a first Grand Slam? Would the change in regime so close to the tournament affect his performance on court? Before the Open, Murray played in the Cincinnati Masters, where he crashed out losing to Mardy Fish in controversial circumstances. Murray had wanted the match-time moved to avoid the heat, but this wasn’t possible and he lost after falling ill and Fish progressed to the next round. Murray rolled into the US Open facing Lukas Lacko in the opening round; this time the heat didn’t hinder the Brit and he beat the Slovakian in straight sets. Dustin Brown was next in line to fall to Murray’s racket in straight sets, even a rain delay not halting the Brit. Fate turned for Murray when he faced Stanislas Wawrinka in the third round. This was a game he should have won comfortably and the result has to go down as one of the biggest shocks of the year. Murray looked drained and he had to call his conditioner on twice. He won the 1st set 6-7 having duelled Wawrinka for every point. Things didn’t improve as he threw away the 2nd set after being 2-0; a tantrum followed and it was as if John McEnroe had returned. These petulant acts do Murray little good, a good example for youngsters? Despite having muscle troubles, Wawrinka managed to see out the game and crushed Murray’s hopes of a first Grand Slam. “I’m struggling physically and I got frustrated with that.” Is this a slight admission on Murray’s part that the decision to sack Maclagan was a mistake? It was for all to see that the Brit could not cope with the physical aspect of American hard-courts. How has changing his support base affected this? Even Roger Federer had to admit earlier this year that he needed help and took on a full-time coach. Murray needs to take time off, look at himself and most importantly, assess how he Ryan Ross is going to move forward and get to the next level. Remember under Maclagan’s guidance he reached 2 grand slam finals and no.2 in the world. Right now he doesn’t seem anywhere near that. The question remains, will Andy Murray win a Grand Slam? Sports Editor Where We Come From I have spent many an hour, since I was elected, thinking, planning even arguing on where Sport should go under my year in charge. Aberdeen are currently 5th in Scotland and 31st in Britain according to the latest BUCS league tables. Where do we want to go? I would like to see us 2nd in Scotland, with bigger Intra-Mural and an even better Superteams event this year. But where do we come from? As Freshers, what are you signing on for? As 2nd, 3rd, 4th, even 5th years, what are you part of? Sport here has ancient roots. Looking through the records, Archery are recorded in a Town Council complaint from 1657, when one gentleman, it was alleged, “was shot thorow the breaches be ane arrow which did come over the College yard.’ Not much has changed then; next time you are in the ASV Sports Hall look above and to the right of the scoreboard! Rugby have their first intervarsity fixture recorded as a 0-5 loss to St Andrews on 17th December 1872, incidentally the same year and result to the first time Oxford met Cambridge. Records have also shown other Sports foundations: Boat (1870), Cricket (1886), Football (1889), Shinty (1889), Golf (1889) and Tennis (1890). Some Clubs are more recent, this year I hope to see All Round Fighting and American Football become fully fledged Clubs. The point is, you are joining a heritage, a family. There have been many wing defenders, strikers, fly half’s, bowlers before you and, hopefully, many after you but what will you bring? Will you score the goal that wins the league or will you make the save that means you avoid relegation? The Athletics Association, now known as the Sports Union, was formed in 1889 and will always be here to support you. Come down to the Sports Fayre on Kings on 21st Sept, check out the Sports Handbook or even pop into the office in the ASV. Backfire? Maurry returns the ball agains Potito Starace Photo: Patrick Kovarik/ AFP/Getty Images Drew Leitch Are you part of a sports club? Interested in sports? Then write for us! We want to hear from you! E-mail gaudie. [email protected] with your submissions