The Gaudie 11th March 2014

Aberdeen University’s Student Newspaper The Aberdeen University Student Newspaper Free Est. 1934 11 March 2014 Baking Bonanza Lemon cheesecake and cookies are on the menu of the Gaudie chefs. Life and Style p.16 Interview: Bombay Bicycle Club We sit down with the iconic indie songsters. Arts p.17 The Boat Race RGU clinched their third victory in as many years, our write-up tells all. Sport p.24 Club Closures Tiger and Snafu closure: a real blow to Aberdeen nightlife? Opine p.9 UK and Europe Britain’s relationship with the EU: past, present and future. Features p.5 www.thegaudie.co.uk By Rachel Clark A recently released study has found that nearly 1 in 3 strippers in the UK are students in higher education. The study, published in the British Journal of Sociology of Education, was conducted by academics at Leeds University, and found that 29% of the 200 dancers they interviewed were in some form of higher education. According to the study, the main reasons for students entering the stripping profession are the high cost of tuition, the lack of availability of loans, the lack of support for vocational courses, and the flexibility that stripping offers. The results of the study suggested that that some clubs target recruitment at Freshers’ Week events. It also found that because of the freelance nature of the job, 70% of the dancers they interviewed have gone home empty handed at least once. However, Teela Sanders, one of the researchers on this study, claims that the motivation is not always financial as many of the interviewees were from a background where money was not an issue. The Gaudie spoke to Tony Cochrane, the owner of Private Eyes Gentlemen’s Clubs in Aberdeen, Dundee and Inverness. Mr Cochrane estimated that not as many as 1 in 3 dancers in Aberdeen are students, but added that the statistic was probably accurate in their Dundee branch and was higher than one-third in most Glaswegian strip clubs. This is due to there being more European woman dancers in Aberdeen who have been attracted by the oil industry, explaining why the ratio is less. Mr Cochrane did Students strip to fund degree Academics slam visa policy By Asma Butt In an open letter to The Guardian, academics have condemned the Home Office for making them act as an “extension” of UKBA. 150 academics wrote that the increase in checking immigration details, and the responsibility being passed to universities, would eventually lead to students losing their trust in their instituitions. Academics from across the UK have accused the Home Office of undermining academic freedom and autonomy between UKBA and universities, in order to meet immigration targets the new Immigration Minister, James Brokenshire, has outlined. The academics also oppose to the use of pastoral care for monitoring international students. They also oppose the use of biometric scanning systems and signing-in controls that single out non-European Union students, and universities that monitor the behaviour of students that is unrelated to academic endeavour. The unrest comes at a time where the pressure to prove students are legitimate has surged in the wake of London Metropolitan regaining their licence to recruit overseas students after losing it last year. The letter also explained that universities in turn have made it a priority to manage the demands of UK Visas and Immigration, which has led to concerns by academics that continues p.3 continues p.4 “We are a community of scholars and students, and those students should be judged on the basis of academic merit, not on the basis of their visa status.” Photo/ Ewa Czerwinska “It’s happening on our campus too and it’s dangerous and worrying. That’s too many students our university support services is letting down.” Bright Amponsah

2 11 March 2014 News The Gaudie Editors: Dan Naylor & Anna Katila [email protected] By Louise Sloan Aberdeen City Council has announced that the Centre for the Moving Image (CMI) has been chosen as the preferred operator for Belmont Media Centre. CMI is currently the parent company of Filmhouse cinema in Edinburgh and the Edinburgh International Film Festival. Pending the completion of contractual paperwork, CMI will take over from the current occupiers Picturehouse Cinemas in early April. There are to be no job losses and despite planning to launch their own membership scheme, CMI has ensured they will honour the benefits of current Belmont members. The change of hands arose after the Competition Commission ruled that Cineworld’s acquirement of Picturehouse cinemas in December 2012 had created unfair competition in Aberdeen as they already operated two other cinemas in the city. Alastair Oatey, Director of Operations at Picturehouse Cinemas, has expressed the company’s opinion on the matter, stating that although they “are sad to be saying goodbye to The Belmont”, they are proud of their time there and wish CMI well in their venture. He also believes that CMI is a company that has the “expertise and experience to deliver an arthouse offer to the loyal audience”. The council confirmed they are working closely with both Picturehouse and CMI to ensure a smooth transition. New operator for Belmont cinema By Louise Sloan A group of charities have launched a campaign to highlight the rising levels of poverty in Scotland, an issue they have declared ‘a humanitarian crisis’. The Scotland’s Outlook campaign claims that there are more than 870,000 people living in poverty in Scotland, with one fifth of children living below the poverty line and over 23,000 people having to rely on food banks in the past six months. Furthermore, they state that over 155,100 households are on the council housing waiting list and there have been over 40,000 homelessness applicants in the past year alone. Graeme Brown, director of Shelter Scotland believes that some of the main causes of this crisis are welfare reforms, higher living costs, stagnant wages, job insecurity, and increasing costs of utility bills. The campaign also said a key element is the high financial burden of childcare, which is also stopping many people from working. People across Scotland are being encouraged to help the fight against poverty, with Martin Sime, Chief Executive of the Scottish Council for Voluntary Organisations, stating that they want people to “wake up to the poverty storm that’s engulfing Scotland.” The campaign plans to take a modern approach to raising awareness and will use social media to broadcast the work they are doing and how others can help those in need. One way to help tackle this crisis is to volunteer at a local food bank. Latest statistics show that demand at food banks throughout Scotland has almost tripled in the past two years. Many people, including those who work, have had to turn to food banks in order to feed their families. Food banks rely on volunteers and donations from the public to stop those in poverty going hungry. However, although in praise of these ventures, Graeme Brown has said that much more needs to be done to combat the root causes of poverty. Charties warn of national poverty crisis By Anna Katila Scottish households pay most for their energy in Britain and are second in the UK wide comparison of energy prices, according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS). On average, Scottish homes spend £112 per month on energy. In Wales the average cost of energy is £105 and in England as low as £103. However, in Northern Ireland the average spend rises substantially, to £154 a month. The report said: “UK households spent an average of £106 a month on household energy in 2012. This was a 55% rise on the 2002 monthly spend, after accounting for inflation. This is despite a decline in average energy usage. “Over this same time period, household energy use has fallen. The average amount of energy used per household was 17% lower in 2012 than in 2002. This means the increase in the average amount households are spending is explained solely by rises in energy prices.” However, Scotland’s high energy costs are consistent with Department of Energy and Climate Change (DECC) figures on energy consumption. According to DECC, Scotland has the second highest energy consumption per thousand of population of any British region or nation and 18% higher than the British average. Scottish Housing Minister Margaret Burgess has announced a £60 million fund to cut fuel poverty. Ms Burgess said: “Rising energy bills remain a huge concern for this Government. Today’s funding will see thousands of homes across Scotland receive new measures like solid wall insulation and help to drive down the number of people living in fuel poverty. “The investment will also support and sustain the insulation industry in Scotland, generating work and supporting jobs. “We are doing everything we can within our limited powers to provide a wide range of energy efficiency measures to individual households and to local authorities. “We are actively working with councils and energy companies to ensure that Scotland continues to get its fair share of funding for efficiency programmes like these.” Energy prices highest in Scotland By Isla Nicoll The Sir Duncan Rice Library is once again playing host to one of the newest art exhibitions in the city, offering students and members of the public alike a unique perspective on Scotland’s landscape. The gallery, which is situated on the ground floor of the library, is dedicated to showcasing some of the most unusual and interesting assortments which the Special Collections has to offer, as well as working closely with local community groups in the City. The latest exhibition, Above Scotland, opened to the public on the 28th of February, features a series of photographs from the National Collection of Aerial Photography. The photographs, including some of Scotland’s most iconic landmarks, are arranged into five sections; Taming the Earth, Ritual and Religion, Enlightenment, Engine Room, and Defending the Land. Amongst these sections are featured photographs which relate to changes made to the landscape by Scotland’s people; ancient tombstones and ruined abbeys, the effect of the industrial revolution, and photographs which attempt to depict the country’s rich and often turbulent history. Above Scotland is a dual project created by Architect and Design Scotland (AD+S) and the Royal Commission on the Ancient and Historical Monuments of Scotland (RCAHMS). Speaking on the exhibition, RCAHMS Head of Education and Outreach Rebecca Bailey said: “The National Collection of Aerial Photography brings together millions of images, including those taken from Scotland’s skies over 100 years ago.” She continued: “Each image in this exhibition is a window onto the nation’s past, present and sometimes even its future.” Above Scotland will run from now until April 20th 2014. Exhibition offers new perspective on Scotland’s landscape “On average, Scottish homes spend £112 per month on energy.” Photo/ Ewa Czerwinska Photo/Rafal Hyps Photo/ Ninian Reid (flikr)

say that the majority of British dancers at Private Eyes Aberdeen are students. Bright Amponsah, President of Welfare and Equal Opportunities, said: “This is not one of those statistics you look at and say it’s a national depiction and not campus specific. “It’s happening on our campus too and it’s dangerous and worrying. That’s too many students our University support services is letting down. This is 2014 and these things should not be happening. Staff needs to get their acts together and make discretionary funds more visible.” Mr Cochrane disagrees. When asked to comment on the financial motivation of strippers, he said they are often initially attracted by the money, but they have so much fun and enjoy the experience that they stay. He said that many want to have fun while they are young before they have to find another career path and/or start families. Private Eyes stated that the casual nature of the job means that the dancers’ studies are less affected, because they can dance as much or as little as they want. They can work seven nights a week during the holidays, or not at all around exam time. The study also found that many students continue to work in strip clubs after graduation because of low-paid graduate prospects. Mr Cochrane agreed with this, saying that it is common for graduates to stay in practice for financial purposes, and also partly because they enjoy it so much. Mr Amponsah concluded: “I really hope this gives them a wakeup call and get them to hold stalls in Butchart, the Suttie Centre and student halls, telling students their entitlements. If any of our students have resorted to such measures to fund their education, I strongly urge them to pop into our Student Advice Centre and speak to someone on how they can be helped.” By Richard Wood A new set of world rankings for universities was published last month, with the University of Aberdeen remaining in high positions for numerous subjects. The University ranks among the top 200 universities across the globe for 12 subjects according to 2014’s QS World University Rankings, an organisation started in 2004 to compare Universities across borders. Overall, the University ranks at 148th in the world. The only subject in the top 100 remains Forestry, but for the first time Economics makes it into the top 200. Alongside Economics, in the top 200, are Politics and International Relations, Sociology and Pharmacology. Higher up the rankings, in the top 150, are English and Philosophy (both for the first time) as well as Law, Medicine, History, Geography and Environmental Science. Such results prove how successful the University of Aberdeen is, a claim backed up by Professor Sir Ian Diamond, who said: “Once again we have confirmation of the academic strength of programmes on offer at Aberdeen, and how well we benchmark against leading universities around the world.” However, despite such successful results the University has room to improve considering Earth and Marine Science were in the top 200 last year, but are nowhere to be seen in 2014. Furthermore, a few years ago Engineering was in the top 150 in the world, reaching 129th in 2009. But despite recent slips the University remains successful, a point particularly highlighted by the ascension of Economics into the top 200. Grace Balfour-Harle, a first year English and Legal Studies student, said: “It makes me proud to be a part of it.” Maria Suessmilch, a fourth year English Language and Linguistics student, said: “I am happy to see the English department perform so well. I feel like we have inspiring and encouraging lecturers and they finally get the recognition they deserve for it.” 3 www.thegaudie.co.uk News 11 March 2014 The Gaudie Aberdeen keeps its place as a leading university By Emily Thorburn A study has revealed that out of all professional groups, those working in the education sector work on average 12 hours unpaid overtime a week, more than any other sector. Data has been obtained by trade unions from the Labour Force Survey 2013 and suggests that on average 54% of people working in schools, colleges and universities will take on unpaid overtime in order to ease their workload. The information was released following the National Trade Unions Congress (TUC), Work Your Proper Hours Day which took place on 28 February. The TUC has expressed upset at these findings and suggests that all workers should be paid fairly for their overtime. Legal professionals work on average nine hours of overtime a week, while some health professionals work six. According to the National Office of Statistics, around 1.4 million people are employed in education in the UK, while around 12% of this number are employed in higher education. Rob Henthorn, President for Education and Employability, says: “The unpaid overtime issue is a glaring example of how readily university managers treat academics and support staff as a casualised workforce, rather than the highly qualified and dedicated experts that they are. We know at Aberdeen that these abuses fall heaviest on the most vulnerable workers - postgrads doing some marking on the side, part time staff and those with insecure contracts. University managers have a responsibility to protect the working conditions of staff who keep our university running.” Education professionals do the most overtime By Asma Butt “The Corner” is Aberdeen Students’ Association’s brand new nonprofit co-operative shop. It opened its doors on 24 February selling organic wholefoods, healthy snacks and handmade jewellery. At its launch over 50 students and some senior staff from the university showed their support for the volunteer run project. A co-operative is an enterprise run by its members for its members, with democracy at the very heart of it. It prides itself on the fact that it is free and fair to join with opportunities to educate or be educated on social issues. Most importantly, a co-op seeks to help the wider community through its support mechanisms, whether that be training days or visits to other co-operatives across the UK and contact with co-ops across the world, or shops open to the public. At the launch, some co-op members did give speeches about why they were so passionate about the co-op and what they hope to achieve from it. The volunteers at “The Corner” do a minimum of ten hours a month, and are from all subject disciplines of the University. Although the shop operates under the Students’ Association it is autonomous, and while it took a small start-up fund provided from AUSA, it is now self-sufficient. Callum Robertson and Marie Chapleau, two volunteers at The Corner, explained that they provide students with ‘cheap healthy foods on campus as an alternative to supermarkets’. “We take suggestions about what should be on our shelves, so that you dictate what you want to buy. “Shared Planet use our ingredients in their Wednesday soups, and so they spread the word about the co-op too, I hope that this is a success so that we can keep educating and involving students next year.” Eva Nohe, President of Environment and Ethics, told The Gaudie: “I’d like it to establish more links with local suppliers, and get people active in creating member-owned alternatives to profit-oriented businesses.” Independent shop opens in Alfie’s Cafe “Once again we have confirmation of the academic strength of programmes on offer at Aberdeen, and how well we benchmark against leading universities around the world.” Sir Ian Diamond Students strip to fund degree continued p.1 “The main reasons for students entering the stripping profession are the high cost of higher education, the lack of availability of loans, the lack of support for vocational courses, and the flexibility that stripping offers.” Photo/ Ewa Czerwinska University of Aberdeen ranks 148th in the world English, Law and Medicine are in the top 150 Photo/ Dan Naylor Photo/ U.S. Census Bureau (wikimedia.org)

4 11 March 2014 News The Gaudie www.thegaudie.co.uk By Dan Naylor University scientists, in collaboration with the National Institute of Water and Atmospheric Research (NIWA) in New Zealand, have captured hours of footage of rarely seen undersea creatures. The footage is of the New Hebrides Trench in the South Pacific. At its deepest point it is over 7,000 metres in depth. The expedition found that marine life at this depth was less varied and far sparser than expected. Voyage leader Dr Alan Jamieson, of the University of Aberdeen’s Oceanlab, said: “We set out to investigate whether the patterns of biodiversity in these medium depth trenches could be predicted by trends that we have observed in the really deep trenches that we’ve already studied elsewhere in the Pacific Rim. “But what we found was an entirely different deepwater fish community. Fish were surprisingly few in number and low in diversity and not at all what we expected. The fish we would always expect to see, the grenadiers, were completely absent. The fish that dominated the area were a group called cusk eels which are far less conspicuous elsewhere.” Oceanlab deployed cameras and traps 27 times, at depths between 2,000 and 7,000 metres. It was Dr Jamieson’s eleventh expedition to the trenches of the Pacific. He finished: “The voyage unearthed a wealth of new video and nearly 10,000 images which are providing great insight into these deep sea communities.” Fewer fish in the sea By Jonathan Brown England and Wales want Scotland to stay in the upcoming independence referendum. More than 60% of voters in England and Wales want Scotland to stay in the United Kingdom, according to an Opinium/ Observer poll on attitudes towards independence. With regards to gender, support for independence is far higher among men than women in England and Wales, with 29% of men in favour against 16% of women. Voters aged over 55 are far more likely to want the Scots to stay, with 73% backing them remaining in the union, against just 51% of 18 to 34 year olds. 67% of voters were of the view that Scotland should have to reapply to the EU, with only 12% of voters being of the view that Scotland would be able to negotiate to stay within the EU while it was still part of the UK. This comes as a blow to the Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond, with the EU question being one of the main battlegrounds of the upcoming referendum on Scottish independence on September 28 2014. On the currency question, which has been a major source of contention between the Yes Campaign and the Better Together campaign, 46% of those polled believed Scotland shouldn’t be allowed to keep the Pound as its currency in the event of a Yes vote – 31% believed that they should. Britain wants Scotland to stay By Alasdair Lane Aberdeen City Council has announced that the proposed ban on Scottish Government ministers from visiting Council-owned buildings, such as Marischal College, has been abandoned. Councillor Barney Crockett, leader of the local authority, has made clear that the controversial measure suggested by his colleague and Labour politician, Willie Young, will not be enacted. The bitter debate culminated in a narrowly passed vote for the Council to review its protocol for ministerial visits. The Labour motion called for talks aimed at creating a “positive working partnership” with the Scottish government, and a “revised protocol for the organisation of ministerial visits”. Earlier, representatives of the SNP claimed that Mr Young had to be brought into line, describing the move as an “act of madness by an out-of-control administration”. Despite this, a motion of no confidence in the Labour Councillor was ruled out on the grounds that there needed to be more warning before such a motion could be considered. A warning about language and behaviour had to be issued during the intense full council debate. Last year, Labour was unhappy about First Minister Alex Salmond’s visit to a school during a by-election campaign. The visit to Bramble Brae Primary came two days before the Donside by-election, which was won by the SNP. Mr Salmond claimed the visit was at the request of parents worried about the school’s future. Proposed Salmond ban dropped by Aberdeen City Council By Rachel Clark Professor Chris Secombes has recently been appointed to Regius Chair at the University of Aberdeen by the Queen. Regius Chairs are royal professorships, normally held in ancient universities. The title is supposed to reflect the exceptionally high quality of teaching and research in a given institution. Professor Secombes’ research focuses on finding better vaccines to prevent outbreaks of disease in fish farms, and is internationally recognised for his work as a fish immunologist and a fish biologist. He has been at the University of Aberdeen for 32 years, and is head of the School of Biological Sciences and a past President of the International Society for Fish and Shellfish Immunology. Secombes commented on his royal appointment: “I’m absolutely honoured and delighted to now hold the position of Regius Chair of Natural History. It is a very high profile position and I believe that my appointment reflects the strength in marine and fish biology, and biological sciences more generally, at the University of Aberdeen. “I’m following in the footsteps of exceptionally worthy past recipients of this particular Regius Chair and was very fortunate to work alongside two of the previous recipients – the last was Professor Paul Racey who carried out a huge amount of very important conservation work around bats. “I am very flattered to be offered this prestigious position and thank all those who have supported me during my career thus far at the University of Aberdeen.” The Principal and ViceChancellor at the University of Aberdeen, Professor Sir Ian Diamond, also commented briefly on Secombes’ success: “This appointment is testimony to Professor Chris Secombes’ impressive academic track record, particularly in the field of fish immunology.” The University of Aberdeen currently holds six Regius Chairs of which Secombes’ Chair was originally founded at some point before 1858. New Regius Chair appointed By Anna Katila Oil exploration in the North Sea has fallen to its lowest level in 50 years, according to Oil and Gas UK’s annual report. The report shows that during the past three years the amount of exploration wells has dropped drastically. Malcolm Webb, chief executive of Oil & Gas UK, the representative organisation for the industry, said that, with only 15 exploration wells drilled last year, compared with 44 six years ago, the future of the industry was “now at risk”. Mr Webb continued: “Even if currently planned wells proceed, the rate of drilling is still too low to recover even a fraction of the estimated six to nine billion barrels yet to be found. “Britain’s waters contain an abundance of oil and gas yet to be found and it is critical we find the means to turn the current state of exploration around. Rig availability and access to capital are the two main barriers noted by our members.” According to Oil & Gas UK’s report, production and investment activities forecast capital expenditure of around £13bn in 2014, the second highest year for investment in recent years. The report also notes that the production rate last year was better than expected, with new developments and an increased focus on production efficiency seeing an average of 1.43 million barrels of oil were produced per day in 2013. This is eight per cent lower than in 2012, but a significant improvement on the average yearly decline of 15% experienced between 2010 and 2012. Mr Webb writes in his introduction to the report: “The energy we extract from the UK Continental Shelf (UKCS), the thousands of companies in the supply chain that support us, the technology, skills and services developed domestically and exported to more than 100 countries are testament to what we have achieved. “However, our industry can only continue to compete globally if we have a strong home market for oilfield goods and services, serving a healthy offshore business here in the UK. This future is now at risk.” North Sea oil industry in crisis “An average of 1.43 million barrels of oil were produced per day in 2013. This is eight per cent lower than in 2012, but a significant improvement on the average yearly decline of 15% experienced between 2010 and 2012.” “I’m absolutely honoured and delighted to now hold the position of Regius Chair of Natural History.” Professor Chris Secombes, Head of the School of Biological Sciences Earlier, representatives of the SNP claimed that Mr Young had to be brought into line, describing the move as an “act of madness by an out-of-control administration”. Academics slam visa policy continued p.1 the scrutiny of students is going too far. Mette Berg from Oxford University argued that professors and tutors have a duty of care to students: “We are not there to be proxy bor- der police.” Nicola Pratt from Warwick Uni- versity explained that in light of the allegations London Metropolitan faced, there has been an increase in “heavy handed[-ness]” by uni- versities against their students. She said: “We are a community of scholars and students, and those students should be judged on the basis of academic merit, not on the basis of their visa status. “It is a major concern that the government is targeting overseas students as a way of meeting im- migration targets, especially as these students are investing a huge amount in the higher education system.” The Home Office said: “We continue to welcome the brightest and the best students and the latest statistics show that visa applications from university students has risen by 7% in the year ending December 2013. It is only right that universities adhere to the guidance and im- migration rules of sponsorship by taking reasonable steps to ensure that every student has permission to be in the UK.” Photo/ Pawel Kuncewicz Photo/ abdn.ac.uk

5 Features [email protected] The Gaudie Editor: Grant Costello 11 March 2014 Does the European Union benefit Britain? Would Britain be better off alone? Would it be better for Britain to claim back its title of being a separate entity from the strivings of mainland Europe? These are all questions that keep buzzing around in people’s minds when thinking of our relationship with Europe. This summer we’ll have a vote in the European elections and that could well place a marker down for this nation’s slow but steady exit from the EU and state loudly and clearly we want to stay. Yet, do we voters truly understand what the EU is meant to represent? To be a community serving to benefit the overall experience of its members and make its mark in a positive way on the world forum in contrast to actions committed by its members in former years: these are the founding principles of the European community project. However, could it be that the only benefit this brought to the UK was the promise of a vast reduction in aggression from our mainland neighbours while the rest of our membership has been mired in failure? Prime Minister Edward Heath commented in an interview in 1972 of an increase in business and employment opportunities, an intellectual exchange, competition and entrance into international markets for Britain should we join the European Community. But has this actually come to pass? This is an answer that remains open to many interpretations. Yet, one cannot overlook the fact that though Britain, for many a century, stood aloof on the Western fringes of the imperial powers that held sway over Europe. Britain only sought to change its solitary position during the period of the Great Wars. This was communicated and effectuated by the labour of our beloved wartime Prime Minister Winston Churchill who, whilst protecting the interests of Britain and its right to retain its sovereignty from Nazi Germany, at the same time was the foremost advocate for a united Europe at the end of the Second World War. In this one man the two ideologies of separation and unity with the mainland come hand in hand in a way that had never been demonstrated before. In fact, Winston Churchill is verily known as one of the founding fathers of the European Union. In a speech delivered in Zurich in September 1946 he is reported to have said the following: “we must re-create the European family… and the first practical step will be to form a Council of Europe. If at first all the States of Europe are not willing or able to join the union we must nevertheless proceed to assemble and combine those who will and those who can.” And again: “There is a remedy which…would in a few years make all Europe…free and…happy. It is to recreate the European family, or as much of it as we can, and to provide it with a structure under which it can dwell in peace, in safety and in freedom. We must build a kind of United States of Europe.” Winston Churchill was also known to have first put the idea across of a European Army, which would be designed to protect the continent and provide European Diplomacy with ‘muscle’, and to champion the creation of the European Court of Rights. In fact, it was his role as honorary president to a gathering of 800 delegates across Europe that led to the creation of the European Council and subsequently the formation of the European Community. His main drive was the development of a community, a union so to say, whose integration was to work to oppose any possible escalation of powers which had caused the atrocities committed in the World Wars. With such a powerful British figure advocating and leading the establishment of what can perhaps be described as the most successful attempt to unite Europe, one cannot help but be surprised that Britain wasn’t one of the original founding members and that it joined almost 20 years after the European Community was formed. This brings us back to the allimportant question: do we really care about the EU? Prime Minister Edward Heath mentioned that as British citizens learned of the benefits of being in the EU they would fully come on board with the prospect of unity with the continent. However, the relationship with Europe over the years has been a rollercoaster ride. This often turbulent relationship had to do, primarily, with the fact that being a part of the European institutions meant a limit of Britain’s focus to continental affairs and a loss of worldly influence. The political elite of the country, as well as a large part of the population, at their core still harbor a sort of national pride at Britain’s past achievements and its ‘superiority’ to the member states of Europe. This feeling could be a major factor in why Britain refused twice to be one of the initial founding members of the European Coal and Steel Community. So what lead the UK to finally make the decision to join the community? It is believed that economic motivation urged Britain into applying for membership after witnessing the economic success of the member states while it itself was going through the financial woes that had, in part, to do in the dissolution of its vast Empire. At any occurrence of crisis or the encroachment EU political integration, Britain has been elusive in its transference of its sovereignty opting instead for an intergovernmental cooperation instead. The hardest years of the British-European relations were witnessed during 1979-1997 during the Conservative government rule. Former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher was a stern opponent to European integration stating in 1988 that: “To try to suppress nationhood and concentrate power at the center of a European conglomerate would be highly damaging and would jeopardize the objectives we seek to achieve… working more closely together does not require power to be centralized in Brussels or decisions to be taken by an appointed bureaucracy.” Britain’s further resistance to monetary union was a step further to retain what remains of its international prowess and influence. Prime Minister Tony Blair took a starkly different approach to Margaret Thatcher and sought to improve Britain’s relationship with Europe, attempting to adopt the euro and integrate with Europe. However, Britain’s typical political civil war over Europe came into play once again as Gordon Brown used his power to stop Tony Blair’s motives at every turn. Even the current Prime Minister, David Cameron, has been forced into promising a referendum to decide whether to stay in Europe or to revoke its membership, thanks to a rise in our own isolationist tendencies. The argument continues with regards to Britain’s membership in the EU and whether or not we are better involved insight or out. We can rightly conclude that the UK has been important to the EU’s story and also that the EU has been an integral part of Britain’s past and both of these, in the last half a century, have been largely successful. We must understand that times have changed and, as a consequence, the lingering glory of our past visions of ‘imperial supremacy’ will have to change so that relations with the EU do not sustain permanent damage. If the UK had been as onboard as Churchill and had become a founding member, it would have been in a much better position today and, while it still decides to keep aloof from the EU because of past sentiments, it is likely to weaken its influence. While isolation from the mainland has been a recipe for success in Britain’s past, the same will only be a recipe for disaster in a continually globalised world. Past, present and future: Britain and Europe Tarrick Haynes delves into Britain’s troubled relationship with our European Union partners “we must re-create the European family.... and the first practical step will be to form a Council of Europe.” Winston Churchill “Britain for many a century, stood aloof on the Western fringes of the imperial powers that held sway over Europe”

6 The Gaudie 11 March 2014 Features www.thegaudie.co.uk Declaring his humility after being awarded the position of rector at Glasgow University, Edward Snowden has become the most recent of the prolific and globally recognised activists students have elected to represent them. Yet, is this really the statement which both the university and its members want to make, and believe they are making, about their university? The NSA whistleblower revealed in June 2013 that US government agencies were using software which enabled them to spy on innocent members of the public, creating transnational uproar and leading many to question the integrity of those in power, as well as the extent to which the government could be seen as abusing their authority. These revelations have not decreased, with recent accusations suggesting that spy agencies are able to find out personal details through apps such as Angry Birds. The undeniable effects which came with this not only included Snowden’s personal sacrifice of his own security but also the security of the US as he released many documents which were not in the interest of public safety and essentially revealed a manual as to how the NSA was run, creating irreparable damage. Is Edward Snowden really the defender of the people and a symbol of freedom and equality or are his actions thoughtless and harmful? As a rector it is acknowledged that Snowden will be largely absent and unlikely to be able to set foot on Glasgow campus, let alone the country, yet campaigners argue that this is an irrelevant issue as previous rectors such as Israeli nuclear technician and whistleblower Mordechai Vanunu and the anti-apartheid activist Winnie Madikizela-Mandela have been non-working rectors. Appreciated for the symbolic nature of their work, they represent the political stance of the students and an opportunity, in the case of Snowden, to reinforce their ‘opposition to state surveillance’. Snowden, after being informed of his election as rector, highlighted that ‘the foundation of all learning is daring: the courage to investigate, to experiment, to inquire.’ This belief system is sure to inspire many students and those who wish to abide by their moral compasses but ignores one vital element: should this daring come at the cost of endangering others? Suggestive of the severity of the NSA documents is Snowden’s previous condemnation of members of the U.S government, who leaked secret information to the press in 2009, indicating that sources should be ‘shot in the balls’ and claiming ‘that this s**t is classified for a reason’. Is this a sign of hypocrisy or does this convey the importance of the public being granted with such information? Yet, there are aspects to Snowden aside from those which symbolise freedom, which could be seen as steeped in self-interest, including his explicit desire to be solely associated with the documents and revealing issues which endangered security and in no way affected the public. His also questionable seeking of asylum in both China and Russia, both of which are sure to have attempted to access the files contained on his computer which he took with him, leads us to ask whether he is an inspiration and a figure who should be sought to associated with. Snowden’s former role as a military contractor for the NSA foregrounds that he is perhaps not the most humanitarian and maybe shouldn’t be the subject of such reverence. However, Chris Cassell, leader of the campaign for the election of Snowden highlights ‘It is his actions as a whistleblower that we support, not his previous employment with the NSA’. The damage and longlasting difficulties which Snowden has caused for the US and UK Governments are extensive and mean large amounts of money and time will have to be spent reworking security procedures. It is reported that many of those whom the surveillance was in place to target have started changing how they interact through technology, making it more difficult to prevent breaches of security. Adding to this, there is not yet proof of any violation of law and, although the public were not aware of the extent of the NSA spying, the ordinary members of public who were spied on were errors in the larger picture of targeting specific mobile phones and computers. As a rector, Snowden will assist the students of Glasgow Students in conveying their anger towards the government and its practices, but, in reality, he will be unable to represent them and aid in the resolution of student issues such as the previous rector, Charles Kennedy. Cassell foregrounds that although he will not be a working rector his role will still be significant: ‘we are confident that he and his legal representatives will do everything they can to ensure there is an effective channel of communication between the students and their new Rector. Edward Snowden’s profile makes him an ideal figure to speak to a global audience on issues relevant to Glasgow University students.’ Despite these underlying issues, it is important to recognise the freedom which Glasgow Students have had in electing their rector as someone they believe is both relevant to their beliefs and important to the progression of 21st century politics. For Cassell ‘this is, in effect, the first popular referendum in the UK on the issue of pervasive state surveillance and the results of the election show that students are overwhelmingly against it.’ Perhaps we have little room to criticise when our chancellor is Camilla, Duchess of Rothesay. Sure it’s a statement, but will Snowden get involved? Tosca Gunn examines the recent election of Edward Snowden as Glasgow University rector Response: Sofiane Kennouche refutes David Robertson’s claims that students should not own a car in Aberdeen City Ah, the motorcar. Long seen as the quintessential symbol of freedom in young adulthood, its popularity has certainly lost pace in recent years. Councils constantly bemoan the congestion of city streets whilst cutting back on road maintenance, and the surge in insurance costs threaten to price many off the roads. Whilst it’s undeniable that a car is an expensive luxury for a student in 2014, it’s still a privilege that we should indulge in if possible, and here’s why: Firstly: the cost-benefit analysis. Whilst I’m not about to launch into economic theory, it’s undeniable that motoring isn’t cheap. A good tip is to go for a cheapy hatchback with a small engine, as we all know. Not only will the insurance be lower but it will also be more economical. Folding seats, a lack of complex electronics and an asthmatic engine will make this one a hit with your mum. If, however, you find that you’re struggling to run your 1.0 litredefeater, you could always do some DIY maintenance or even pay your insurance or tax monthly to spread the cost. Change your own air filter next time the car needs a service – it’s a very simple task. Furthermore, a car is worth the outlay because it isn’t a bus or bike. I can listen to the music I want to and come and go whenever I please. Having a roof and my own windscreen is immensely pleasuring. The odds of sharing the same airspace as a foul-smelling Strongbow-swiller at 10am on a Tuesday morning are reduced greatly, too. On time, comfortable and private – not really First Bus traits, eh? Secondly: the parking. Every city has parking restrictions but knowledge is power. If, like me, you drive to university out of necessity, then many roads around ASV and Pittodrie offer free parking, so long as there are no events being held at Pittodrie on the same day. For an extra five minutes’ walk you can ignore the meters on University Road and spend that cash on modding your little hatchback. Everyone loves modifications, especially insurance companies. Only buy a permit to park on campus if your hobbies include burning money or being a moron. The car park beside Butchart allows students to park on campus for £1/day. It’s a shame that the spaces are only a little bigger than my left shoe, though. Of course: the traffic. Every city will have traffic, especially at peak times. Thankfully, Aberdeen is a compact city, and you’ll only be stationary on certain streets (King Street, Market Street, Union Street) for a comparatively short time. From the university campus, twenty minutes in any direction is all that is needed to escape the traffic and emerge into glorious Scottish countryside. If you go east, though, you will need the submersible Lotus Esprit from The Spy Who Loved Me. Nevertheless, you can be on lovely, open B-roads with your friends seeing what Aberdeenshire has to offer very quickly. Besides, buses get stuck in traffic too. At least you can be in your own clean, comfortable world in the tailback. Fourthly: the environment. Look at the number of pushbikes scattered around campus. They, surely, offset the minimal amount of pollution made by the minority of students who drive to university. If you live within 15 minutes’ walk of Aberdeen University, you’d be better off walking there – not just for the environmental impact, but because of the time you waste in driving, parking and walking to a lecture. My top tip is to wait until all the hippies are outside Butchart with their recycled bags before you crawl past in your fossilfuelled machine. With your paint gleaming and bass booming, rev loudly at this point. You are a Big Deal on Campus now. And lastly: the social arrangements. Running a car opens up a world of social possibilities. You can near-asdammit be in multiple places at once, thanks to the miracle of internal combustion. Short of cash? A cash-in-hand emergency lift can do wonders. Otherwise, you can politely tell people to jog on if they’re freeloaders. Your car, your rules. Except if they’re the hallowed Rules of Shotgun. You can do things at any time. A trip to Glasgow at 4am on a weekday morning with your pals is promoted to reality from the realm of fantasy. Once you’ve endured the boredom of frugal hatchbackery for a couple of years (and perhaps kept some money aside from your night out fund), you should have enough money to do what any red-blooded male should do: sink your limited earnings into an uneconomical, large and comfortable German car. Who cares about miles per gallon when you’ve got rear-wheel drive and you’re nestled inside a cockpit lined with aged leather? Photo/ Praxis Film (wikipedia) “It is his actions as a whistleblower that we support, not his previous employment with the NSA” Chris Cassell Photo/ Will Swain (flickr) Five reasons for students to own a car

Features 11 March 2014 The Gaudie 7 www.thegaudie.co.uk Student legal initiative ready for action Bart Kruk introduces Cassus Omissus, a student founded, operated and lead law clinic Aberdeen has a reputation for affluence and wealth, fuelled by its strong links with the energy industry. It boasts some of the most expensive postcodes in Scotland as one drives west along the A93 passing Cults, Bieldside and Milltimber. However, as Ryan Wheelan the founder of the Aberdeen Law Project has noted: ‘It is inaccurate to infer from this… that there is neither poverty nor deprivation’. The Law Project, or Casus Omissus as it is commonly known, was set up to widen access to the justice system by providing free legal advice and representation to those who would not otherwise be able to afford it, and do not qualify for legal aid funding. In legal jargon, casus omissus means ‘a case omitted’ or one for which no provision has been made. The law project was established to work for those who had otherwise fallen through the cracks of the justice system. Now in it’s fifth year, the project is run entirely by students, currently around 130 are involved, from all years. The Law project is divided up into sectors based around the issues they deal with: Housing, Employment, Charities and Commerce, and Criminal Law. Although the project cannot represent clients in criminal cases, it works with the Crown Office aiding prosecutions. Additionally , there is a dedicated representation team which deals with clients directly, and several groups working on outreach projects. Members of each sector will prepare and research the law on cases that come into their area. I recently sat in on a meeting of the housing group, chaired by the sector head Daniel McLeman. The group of around 20 sat in smaller teams around the tables of an upper floor Macrobert classroom, other sectors were meeting in rooms across the entire floor. It began with updates on recent developments in their casework. In this open forum details are used sparsely because the project takes the confidentiality of its clients very seriously, but the sectors do more than simply prepare cases. The housing group is currently working on spreading awareness about illegal premiums charged by letting agencies, an issue also championed by the housing and homelessness charity Shelter. Although the official policy of the Scottish Government is that any ‘premiums’ - like charges for administrative work or credit checking are illegal - some agents are still passing these costs on to un-knowing clients. Potential clients can reach the project on the phone or by email. At first contact they are met by an adviser from representation who takes notes about the clients’ problems. These are passed on to the relevant sector which does much of the groundwork for the case. Non-eligible clients are referred elsewhere. Since 2011, 186 cases have been taken on, but referrals have been in the hundreds. 99% of cases are concluded successfully, and the vast majority are settled out of court. Fraser Stewart, head of the representation team explains the success of the project depends on ‘negotiating in a professional manner on behalf of clients…who often might not have the confidence to insist on their rights’. Out of concern for costs a compromise out of court is always preferable to litigation. In certain c i r c u m s t a n c e s , and when trial is unavoidable, students from the law project may present their client’s cases in the Sheriff Court under ‘small claims procedure’. Small claims is the simplest procedure by which a case may be heard. The parties do not require a qualified lawyer to present their case. The proceeding is supposed to be less formal, but Sheriffs may still require litigants to observe a lot of the procedure and legal jargon of an ordinary trial. Fraser tells me that ‘There is a great gap between the policy behind small claims…’ to make courts more accessible to ordinary people, ‘…and the practice.’ As most disputes revolve around disagreements over the facts of a case, evidence must be lead, witnesses examined, and cross examined. These skills are not taught in lectures or tutorials. Like professional lawyers the student representatives must pick them up ‘on the job’. Fortunately, they are supported by the large network of connections the Law Project has established in the legal community. Many law firms have responded positively to the student clinic, and provided much needed training, advice and sponsorship. The law school staff, experts in their respective subjects, are also on hand to help with preparing accurate and effective legal advice. However, should students be appearing in the courts before they have finished their education anyway? Fraser thinks ‘It’s a middle ground, between a professional solicitor and lay representation… although the sums involved in a lot of cases are not large, they mean a lot to our clients’. With cuts to legal aid, and the prolonged economic downturn, the lacuna that comprises of cases which would never be heard but for the Aberdeen Law Project is only increasing. Photo/ Casus Omissus Two years ago the Scottish Parliament faced a reality check. People could no longer afford to live on the minimum wage. This cause was championed by many charities and organisations, including trade unions, in an attempt to put across the argument that the Scottish Government needed to wake up and fix the problem of the wages and price gap that now exists, rather than just making vague promises. We were left with the Government saying it would pay the living wage, although it would not enforce its contractors to do the same. The same pledge was made by many local councils in Scotland, but they have also continually failed to enforce these pledges, leaving us with the supposed crisis of earnings, and a lot of talk from our politicians. On comes 2013, and we are faced with another crisis. The charity Shelter Scotland has come out with claims that we now have to consider that Scotland is facing its own housing crisis, with rent pric- es having risen by 44% in the past decade. Also, over half of Scotland’s social housing is below the Scottish Government’s own housing qual- ity standard, a standard that has such difficult criteria as: a house needing to be safe and secure, free from serious disrepair, and having modern facilities - you know like a bathroom and kitchen. But hey, at least only one in three of Scottish homes have to live in fuel poverty. Not to worry though, because our Government at Westminster argues that, with the economy on the mend, construction companies will begin building homes again, and with the UK and Scottish Gov- ernment’s help to buy schemes we can all get on the property ladder and live in cosy homes once again. Of course, all the major charities say this just isn’t the case; that the government are just shrugging off their responsibility and that this crisis in housing is very real and present. So 2012 we were in a wage crisis. 2013 we were in a housing crisis. Surely by 2014 we should have sorted some of this out and be on our way to recovery? Oh no you optimistic lot, I’m afraid not. It’s 2014 and we are hit with a double whammy. The organisation Scotland’s Outlook, a charity campaign set up by many notable charities such as Shelter Scotland, the Poverty Alliance, Oxfam and the Child Poverty Action Group, warned that Scotland right now was at the beginning of the worst poverty crisis we had seen in decade, with one in five children in Scotland living in poverty and nearly 40,000 people considered homeless. This, added together with the Scottish Youth Parliament’s claims during the launch of their ‘Fair.Share.Care’ campaign, that Scotland’s young carers face their own crisis. Young carers are having to choose between whether to care for their loved ones or go to school, work, or generally have a life outside caring. Without proper funding and support, Scotland’s 660,000 young carers will be left stranded, resulting in a lost generation according to national carers charities. So just within the last three years, Scotland has been warned by its charities of at least four major national crises, and there are no doubt many other charities and organisations working within their own fields that have seen the beginnings of major social problems. As Scotland debates its constitutional future we see debates over currency, oil and nuclear weapons, but not on how we can solve the crisis that Scotland is facing right now. The campaigns are debating on the grounds they feel comfortable on, rather than on the issues on whcih we need solutions. These are the real issues that we face in Scotland. When a country that considers itself to be a mem- ber of the developed world cannot ensure that its children do not face poverty, it is a disgrace. We have become a nation that is accepting of people forced to live on welfare; a nation that sees it as ok that peo- ple are not able to feed themselves because we have food banks; a na- tion that has seen itself face a social cataclysm and is yet to flinch at the effects until they are thrust in our face. Scotland is in crisis and a remedy is needed, be it a political, social or charitable one. Death by a thousand crises: a nation in danger of implosion Grant Costello looks at the crises that Scotland faces in the lead up to the referendum Photo/ Nicholas Raymond (flikr) Josiah Bircham (editing)

8 The Gaudie 11 March 2014 Features www.thegaudie.co.uk Gaming goes portable: the rise of the app Rosie Beetschen explores the growing trend of mobile gaming The way we play games has constantly changed since Pong launched the video game industry into a lucrative business in 1976. Back then, games were simple to understand and simple to play and the 80s showed the golden age of arcade gaming with Space Invaders, Pac-Man and Donkey Kong among the most popular. As technology improved, so did the gaming experience adapt and enhance, branching out into genres such as role-playing, adventure, fighting, shooter and rhythm action. Today PC gamers battle it out with Xbox fans who, even more furiously, fight with those loyal to the PlayStation over which is the best platform for gaming. However, a new player has entered the ring of the fight: the mobile phone. As I sat at the age of 7 playing Snake on my big sister’s Nokia 3210, I never would have imagined that this would be as popular as the console we’d fight over to play Super Mario. Flappy Bird, as we learned in last week’s Opine, brought in a staggering $50,000 a day with a new clone of the game appearing every 24 minutes on the Apple App Store. So what’s the reason for its success? Why has mobile gaming become so popular? One answer could be a decreased enamour for consoles. Back in the heyday of the PlayStation 2 (so popular that it sold 150m units over the course of its production) the console was the most interesting thing in the house. Now our homes are full of gadgets to keep you occupied like tablets, laptops and, of course, smartphones; the console is no longer in the limelight like it used to be. With Grand Theft Auto V having sold over 32.5 million units worldwide since September last year, it is clear that the time for the console to fade into obscurity has not yet come. Another main reason for the popularity of mobile gaming is the rise of the smartphone, so ubiquitously embedded in people’s hearts, hands and pockets that you can go nowhere without it. This portability is what makes gaming so easy: whether you’re at home, at work, on the bus or out meeting a friend for coffee (or rather sitting scrolling in tandem with coffee in front of you) you can play on your phone. A central reason as to why mobile gaming is so popular is because we no longer have to make time for it: it fills in the waiting periods in our life. Daniel Rubino, from Windows phone central, upon being asked the question of why mobile gameplay was so popular replied that it was due to “hardware coming of age, allowing for high-intensity graphics and smooth gameplay that meets today’s consumer expectations”. This is a great answer if you happen to be working for a company that makes said snazzy hardware, but it seems to ignore the fact that the most popular mobile games are so simplistic that “high intensity graphics” are completely unimportant. At the same time that consoles can be controlled using only the motion of your body, a game that consists of flying what looks more pixel than bird through an endless series of pipes has equal popularity. App Annie’s 2013 retrospective report on mobile apps and games showed the top three most popular games by download to be Candy Crush Saga, Subway Surfers and Temple Run 2; the first consists entirely of matching patterned gems while the other two are endless running games where the player dodges randomly generated obstacles. The mindless addiction created by a game in which the only choice is whether to jump or duck, go up or go down takes us full circle back to where gaming started, to Pong. Playing video games is regressing back to a simpler time, making it something that can be done by anyone of any age in any place and this is the reason for the popularity of mobile gaming: it has universality unlike anything consoles can match. Photo/ Johan Larsson (flickr) As demand and consumption of energy continues to rise, the mining sector is struggling to meet the needs of the present without compromising the needs of future generations. The Global Footprint Network Annual Report claims, “Humanity now demands 50 percent more resources than what the planet can regenerate.” These resources are vital for the maintenance and evolution of modern life, so it is crucial that a way is found to expand humanity’s resource base. Various scientists and private companies suggest that extraterrestrial mining could be the solution to Earth’s resource crisis, saying “everything we need is in near infinite quantities in space and that revenue from asteroids could add tens of billions of dollars annually to GDP.” Despite this, it is debatable whether commercial asteroid mining is viable due to massive financial and technical obstacles. Planetary Resources, a front runner in the commercial space-race, announced that the first stage of their prospecting mission alone will cost $20 million. Cynics argue that the real benefit will be to use the asteroids as “interplanetary gas stations” to enable further exploration of space and even facilitate colonisation of Mars. In order for these missions to be cost-effective, prospecting must be carried out and the most economically valuable asteroids chosen. This is done from Earth using reflection spectroscopy. Light is reflected from an asteroids surface changing its spectrum. This is because some wavelengths of light are absorbed more strongly than others, giving a strong indication of what materials lie on its surface. Once the composition has been discovered, radar reconnaissance can be used to identify the asteroids size, shape, spin state and surface properties, which is extremely useful in determining how any apparatus will be put into the asteroids orbit or how they will land. This is fundamental in evaluating the financial difficulties of an expedition. Planetary Resources claim approximately 1000 asteroids are less difficult to reach than the moon and require less effort than mining on Earth. This is because unlike Earth, their minerals are distributed throughout the full structure and are therefore easier to extract The asteroids of mining interest are categorised as either C-type, S-type or M-type. Approximately 7% of near-Earth asteroids are C-type – containing abundant hydrated clay minerals in which water could be extracted from. Water is one of the most valuable resources in space and if split by electrolysis can provide propellant for rockets. If rockets were no longer required to carry the entirety of their fuel from the beginning of their missions, then the cost of launch will be considerably reduced and the length of missions would not be hindered by the storage capabilities of the rocket. S-type asteroids are stony, containing iron, magnesium and nickel. Around 17% of asteroids are S-type. M-type asteroids - the rarest of the three - contain mostly nickel and iron. However, Planetary Resources believe that these possess the greatest commercial potential and will reap “real financial returns” as they also contain platinum and rare Earth minerals. Lunar mining will also be invaluable in supporting further space exploration and providing the raw materials for nuclear power provision. It contains vast amounts of Helium-3, an isotope that can be used in nuclear fusion. On Earth, Helium-3 is worth US$16 million per kg and is sparse. On the moon, however, there are hundreds of millions of tonnes readily available, one tonne of which could potentially power a city of 10 million people. Resources collected from lunar mining such as concrete and metals can be used to build bases , acting as a stepping stone to further voyages, and with oxygen and water extraction possibilities it is an ideal candidate to begin human colonisation in space. Planetary Resource and Deep Space Industries are still in the process of planning their prospecting missions and developing the technology so that these proposals can soon become a reality, and with the likes of Google royalty Larry Page and Eric Schmidt within their framework, and investment from Richard Branson, they are confident that space commerce will be functioning by 2020. Asteriod mining: resource extraction’s final frontier? Alison O’Rourke explains how the future of mining may be closer than you think Concept Artr/ NASA (wikipedia)

11 March 2014 9 Opine [email protected] The Gaudie Editor: Sofiane Kennouche Debate: Aberdeen; recession-proof, the exception to the rule of ‘For Let’ signs and blessed with a rich nightlife almost as wealthy as the general population. All these things were true, until very recently. As most of us have heard, both Tiger Tiger and Snafu have closed their doors following their respective declines in popularity in the face of other clubs. It appears that the nightlife bubble may have burst. The news of Tiger’s closure didn’t ruffle me that much – as the home of Vanity Fridays, I stopped attending the club back in Second Year. Like many places, the clientele could make or break the night, with Tiger having more than its fair share of pretentious, nouveau riche students. Nevertheless, its closure will definitely have a knock-on effect. Will NOX be able to handle the influx of testosterone and fake tan of Tiger refugees? Only time will tell. I first heard the grim news about Snafu from a friend. The closure of one of the country’s best indie clubs should be a subject of contention for any patron of the arts. Whilst I didn’t attend the club regularly, the memories of Girls & Boys in First Year were certainly a formative social part of my fledgling university days. Where else could you dance to Joy Division, The Smiths and The Coral in Aberdeen? Furthermore, a number of my friends got their first break in Snafu, whether through musical performances or standup comedy. Snafu had a great reputation for offering something quirky in Shiprow, and the closure of one of the once-top 100 clubs in the world has deprived Aberdeen of one of its cultural jewels. Certainly, up-and-coming artists will find it harder to break into the limelight now that it’s gone. So what’s the solution? As a wisened old Fourth Year, I can count the number of times I’ve been out this term on one hand. A visit to Institute on a Wednesday night left me feeling out of touch; everyone was a fresher and I was the only one who still called it Liquid. Where were the podiums? Perhaps it’s my age, but I rarely find myself willing to tolerate the boredom of VIP/guestlist queues and sweaty dancefloors unless it’s for a special occasion, such as a birthday or work night out. The era of the impulsive club night out has passed for me. Nowadays, my friends and I tend to socialise in each other’s flats or in one of the many bars scattered throughout the city centre. As nightclubs and shops keep closing, Aberdeen still seems to have a massive selection of bars and pubs to choose from, and we increasingly spend our time there. In a bar, space is a given; plus, you won’t have to strain your voice to chat to your friends. Most of them will actually listen to your music requests if you ask the DJ nicely, too. If, however, you’re put off by the bar and club scene entirely, there are a number of things you can do in this grey city at night. If the weather’s good, have a look at Aberdeen Beach, as the moon and stars give a pretty spectacular view. Unleash your inner hustler at some of the city’s best pool, darts and table sport facilities, such as Codona’s down at the beach. If Fourth Year has taught me anything, it’s that ping-pong is deceptively hard to master. Alternatively, you could just do your coursework. Kidding. The closure of Snafu and Tiger will no doubt affect all students of both Aberdeen and RGU, precisely because there will be that bit less variety on offer for years to come. As I reach the end of my student career, I can’t say that I’ll be worrying too much about that, though – befriend someone with a large cellar under their flat like I have, and you’ve got your own guestlist-free, personalised party space available for any occasion. By Sofiane Kennouche Last orders for Tiger and Snafu - but will Aberdeen suffer? Aberdeen has been suffering a slow cultural death since the closure of independent record store One Up just over a year ago. When it was announced on February 20 that worldrenowned club Snafu was to shut its doors, Aberdeen’s heartbeat flatlined. Only weeks before Tiger Tiger had announced its closure, with local club Priory currently closed for renovation. All of these clubs have different clientele but regardless of who you are and where you party the current spate of closures will affect you. Longer queues, busier bars and sweatier dance floors will begin to hit places like Pearl, Garage and Insititute- though the last one may be a bonus! There are a few hidden gems which are still worth going to and give Aberdeen something more than the same high-street shops and food outlets that you can find in any British city. Origin and Exodus are favourites of mine but I have recently discovered Cellar 35, underneath the Noose and Monkey pub. This venue hosts independent gigs and club nights run by several different promoters such as Headache and Cake and Ale and is, in my opinion, the best thing about Aberdeen’s nightlife. Shockingly, even this venue is now under attack as after numerous noise complaints, it has been given a court summons by the council. There are those who say Aberdeen perhaps overstretched itself when it came to clubbing. I for one was pretty surprised when I arrived in the Granite City to be presented with so much choice. The same people will also say that the closure of Snafu and Tiger Tiger will be a huge boost to Aberdeen’s other clubs who will now face less competition. The beauty of smaller clubs like Exodus are that they cater for the few, not the many, with a much more relaxed atmosphere as a result. These clubs will no doubt now try to take over the big house nights offered by Snafu and essentially lose their appeal. You cannot also overlook the deeper problems at play here: Snafu did not compete with Garage and Pearl Lounge as it offered something different. It had no competitor in that respect, why then has it become financially unviable? I don’t know the answers but I worry as to what they may be. We are living through the end of Aberdeen as a city which offers anything different. The naïve, failed bid for 2017 City of Culture, which was run from the shell of what was once One Up says it all. Those who enjoyed the last nights at Snafu will have made memories that will last for a lifetime; ones they can tell their children and grandchildren who will disbelievingly ask that ‘Aberdeen used to be fun?’ Until that day arrives, students should get down to Cellar 35, Exodus and Origin before they too either disappear or sell their soul for a larger slice of the market! By James Higgin James Higgin and Sofiane Kennouche consider the options available to partygoing students now that two Aberdonian clubbing giants have fallen “If, however, you’re put off by the bar and club scene entirely, there are a number of things you can do in this grey city” “The beauty of smaller clubs like Exodus are that they cater for the few, not the many” Photo/ Melory Midtbo

10 The Gaudie 11 March 2014 www.thegaudie.co.uk What would your dream ball be? Christina McGrane, Third Year English Literature ‘My ball would be Disneythemed, and I’d go as R a p u n z e l . There’d be music from Disney films as well as f a i r y t a l e s . I’d lay out a feast of food for guests like the one found in Beauty and the Beast.’ a Look for the red polo shirts on campus! Kingsley Nitch, Fourth Year Petroleum Engineering ‘This is quite a controversial idea, but I’d have the guys dressed as pimps and the girls dressed as ladies of the night. We’d definitely host it in an unusual location - perhaps the library or a casino such as Grosvenor. Having such a party in a casino would definitely fit the theme well.’ Adam Motycka, First Year Philosophy ‘My event w o u l d definitely have a rock ‘n’ roll or jive feel to it. There’d be swing music so people could do the Mashed Potato or Gravedigger dances. I’d get a band to play Chuck Berry and Elvis, as well as lots of jazz. Fish would be served as well.’ The beginning of Appeasement or Peace in our Time? Nicholas Layden outlines the problems facing Ukraine, NATO and the EU While it’s not quite 1938 in Europe, there seems to be a similar feeling. Western powers are war-weary and unable or unwilling to commit to protecting the sovereignty of nations under threat from aggressive neighbours. It would, however, be simplistic to reduce this confrontation to the same crisis which gripped Europe in the late 1930s as there are multiple factors at work here. It is impossible to understand the situation unfolding in the Ukraine at the moment without understanding what the motivation for Russia’s actions are. The Crimea itself is commonly seen as a part of Russia, both by Russians themselves and many of the region’s inhabitants. The vote of the Crimean Parliament to formally join the Russian Federation increases the difficulty in attributing a ‘right’ side in this incident. More will become clear after the referendum facing the population of Crimea, but the result of this cannot be en- tirely relied upon if Russian troops guard the polling stations. Russian interest in the Crimea does not solely lie with requiring access to ports on the Black Sea. Russia is interested in maintaining traditional ‘buffer states’ to shield Russia itself from the perceived threat of Western Europe (unified under NATO and the EU). The response from these organisations, therefore, will be critical. Rather than being indifferent to the response of the international community, Vladimir Putin is very aware of how far he can push Western Europe on its eastern border. Whilst NATO has already accepted the occupation of the Crimea due to the difficulties outlined above (thus possibly accepting incursions into Eastern Ukraine), it is becoming clear that a problem is being approached. Whilst the Ukraine is at risk of losing the Crimea and some parts of its eastern regions, it will not be wholly annexed by Moscow: this option is no longer available to Putin as he has failed to bring it into the Russian sphere of influence. This already leaves the EU in a potentially winning position; the de facto alignment of a ‘Western Ukraine’, with more liberal democracies in the rest of Europe, thus furthering the isolation of Putin’s Russia. The Ukrainian President is urgently seeking to guide the na- tion to the side of freedom and de- mocracy rather than remain a sat- ellite state of an autocratic regime to the east. This, in the grand scheme of international politics, is a scuffle. A serious scuffle, but not a full-blown conflict. Exercises are planned in Poland to demonstrate that NATO still sees Article 5 as important, whilst air patrols are dispatched over the Baltic States to show strength of purpose. All of this is far too late for Ukraine and too late to honour The Budapest Memorandum guaranteeing the sovereignty of the nation. If one accepts that the United Na- tions is necessary, one immediately enters into an awkward situation. Right now, under principles ac- cepted in international law, Russia is out of order and must be stopped - and yet, nothing has been done. There are many reasons why serious repercussions against the Russian Federation are unlikely; they are almost entirely our fault. It is our fault that politicians in the West have no will to fight, even for the right reasons, as we ceaselessly hound them over any conflict. Yet, as soon as an actual bully like Russia enters the scene, there is a deafening silence from the critics on how to fight back. The tough talk of hard economic sanctions is nonsense; a tumbling Rouble will not lead to Russian soldiers returning to base in the Crimea. We have fooled ourselves into thinking that by rising above conflict we can overcome it. When no guarantee exists to protect a state – by force if necessary – then that state has no guaranteed neutrality. Putin has calculated The Budapest Memorandum isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. He has further calculated the Ukrainian Army isn’t up for a war with the Russian one. He has deduced that NATO and individual NATO powers will bluster and possibly im- pose limited economic sanctions but not respond militarily. All these things are correct. Putin has predicted that in the face of Rus- sian aggression we would be weak. He was correct, but it’s Ukrainians and Crimeans who will pay for our moral equivocacy. “When no guarantee exists to protect a state – by force if necessary – then that state has no guaranteed neutrality” We’ll be coming: Scotland’s road to the Finals Chris Cromar predicts Scotland’s qualification hopes for Euro 2016 On Sunday February 23, Scotland’s qualification group for the 2016 UEFA European Football Championship was drawn. There was great anticipation as many of the Tartan Army fancied a tie against the ‘Auld Enemy’, England. However, the Scots were drawn against Germany, the Republic of Ireland, Poland, Georgia and the new boys to UEFA, Gibraltar. As a passionate Scotland fan, I was absolutely delighted with this draw. As we have not qualified for a major tournament since the 1998 World Cup in France, I believe that we will make this tournament. A major reason for this is that the tournament has expanded from 16 to 24 teams, which will see the top 2 in each group qualify, along with the best 3rd placed team out of all the groups. The remaining 8 teams will battle it out in a two-legged play-off for the final 4 places. I am part of Scotland’s ‘lost generation’ of football fans, as I was only five years old when Scotland played at the ’98 World Cup. In qualifiers for Euro 2004 in Portugal, Scotland were defeated by a Ronaldo-led Brazil. The Scots finished 2nd in the group, despite being held 2-2 by the Faroe Islands in the first group game in Torshavn, after going 2-0 down early on. The Scots were drawn against the Netherlands, a team with top quality players including Edgar Davids and Ruud van Nistelrooy. Against all the odds, Scotland beat the Dutch 1-0 at Hampden but in the return leg in Amsterdam, the Scots were crushed 6-0 by a rampant Dutch side. In qualification for Euro 2008, co-hosted by Austria and Switzerland, the Scots were drawn in the so-called ‘Group of Death’. The group included world champions Italy and finalists France. Against all odds, Scotland did the double over the French. The Scots beat their French counterparts 1-0 at Hampden, thanks to a goal by Gary Caldwell, while the Scots beat the French less than a year later by a James McFadden goal in Paris. A 2-0 defeat by Georgia in Tbilisi in the penultimate match of the campaign saw Scotland going into their final match against Italy at Hampden needing a victory to qualify, while the Italians only needed a point to progress. Scotland were beaten 2-1, and another dream was over. After disastrous qualifying campaigns under Craig Levein, Scotland’s long-suffering supporters are in an optimistic mood after the appointment of Gordon Strachan as manager in January last year. There have been positive results under Strachan including a home and away win over Croatia in 2014 World Cup qualifying. There was also an impressive 2-1 win against FYR Macedonia in Skopje and a friendly win of 1-0 in Molde against Norway in November. It is always dangerous for managers and players to predict the outcomes of matches, but as a fan, I have no worries in predicting results. I expect the Germans to challenge for the 2014 World Cup, as they have a squad packed full of experience and incredible talent. Scotland will suffer a narrow defeat in Germany or possibly grab a draw. At Hampden, it’s up to us to take the game to the Germans and get a valuable point. The Republic of Ireland - a match between our Celtic friends - have some very dangerous players, but we do not know if Robbie Keane will still be playing internationally by then. I firmly expect the Scots to get four points against the Irish with a win at home and a boring, but efficient 0-0 draw away. Playing against Poland will prove tricky as the Poles have one of the best strikers in the world in Robert Lewandowski of Borussia Dortmund. Again, a draw in Poland would be an excellent result, while a win at home should be expected if we play to the best of our ability. Georgia will prove a very difficult task, as teams from Eastern Europe usually do. Gibraltar, making their debut in competitive international football should, on paper, be a stroll in the park for Scotland. However, after Scotland slumbered to a 97th minute winner to defeat Liechtenstein 2-1 at Hampden in Euro 2012 qualifying, they should not be taken for granted. I fully expect Scotland to win the home tie about 7 or 8-0. Scotland will hopefully be already qualified by this point, but I expect to see Scotland win 4 or 5-0 in the second leg. Hopefully this will be the start of massive celebrations that will culminate in France in the summer of 2016. I expect that 21 points will be enough for Scotland to secure 2nd place and qualification. However, in the past, Scotland have struggled against the minnows of world football and have outplayed some of the major footballing powers. Get ready for a journey that will see the Scotland team qualify for major tournaments on a regular basis; there is no reason why we cannot. We have the manager, the players, the fans; all we need now is a bit of luck. In the words of former Scotland manager, Berti Vogts, ‘Zidane and Vieira? They’re only names. I think we can win this game.’ This is a quote that the Scotland team of today can take great encouragement from. Football is a game of 11 against 11 and Scotland has proved, time and time again, that we can beat anyone on our day. “Scotland have struggled against the minnows of world football and have outplayed some of the major footballing powers” Opine

11 March 2014 11 www.thegaudie.co.uk The Gaudie Disclaimer All opinions expressed in the Opine section are those of the authors of the articles, and do not necessarily represent views held by The Gaudie, AUSA, or any company which advertises in The Gaudie The mentality of laziness A University of Aberdeen study suggests laziness is linked to genes, Benjamin Mitchell argues otherwise ‘ Beep-beep’… snooze. ‘Beepbeep’… snooze. The morning of the average student is frequently met with this routine. Many of us bask in the glory of precious additional moments in bed, convincing ourselves that five more minutes can make a world of difference, and that we will awake 300 seconds later with vitality and hunger for whatever drivel our 9am tutorial brings. Yet delaying the morning wakeup call is a slippery slope and all-too-easily ‘five more minutes’ can transcend into hours, culminating in a blistering frenzy as you and your flatmates endeavour to navigate the kitchen like a scene from Pac-Man. As you haphazardly butter a slice of toast, and make a feeble attempt at scribbling down an answer to your tutorial question, you send a cursory glance in the direction of your flatmate. This individual has experienced a somewhat more relaxed ‘Avant Midi’. In three hours they have exerted the treadmill, consumed a nutritious breakfast and completed next week’s tutorial assignment; all on a day in which they have no timetabled classes! If this description is more representative of you, then you are obviously an individual who greets your alarm with joyous content; a marked contrast from your counterpart. What explains this polarisation of attitudes? Until now, this class of lazy individual was tarnished with the brush of sheer laziness. But take heed all ye of excessive sleep, scientists at The University of Aberdeen and the Chinese Academy of Sciences have concluded that laziness can be attributable to poor genetics. Namely, the gene SLC35D3 (catchy isn’t it?) which is responsible for aiding dopamine release has been found to be mutated. This can explain why certain individuals tremble with fear at the prospect of a 7am rise or commencing that dreaded essay. I expect many of you will welcome this news as a potential new excuse for late coursework submissions, to be used somewhere between ‘the dog ate my homework’ and ‘my printer ran out of ink’. However, what outcome can this research possibly have on the life of the average student? Staggered tutorial time slots perhaps? 9:05 for the couch potato, 9:10 for the lazy bones and 9:15 for the chronic ‘lazy-ites’? Surely not. Whilst there is undoubtedly substance behind such scientific conclusions, I would argue that there is a fine line exists between SLC35D3 gene mutation and severe bone idleness. So in the meantime my advice to the sufferers of ‘lazyitis’ is to go to bed early, start your coursework sooner and, most importantly, hit the snooze button at your peril. Has your lecturer passed quality control? Emily Thorburn considers whether lecturers ought to undergo formal teacher training Anyone who has ever applied for a job will know how the process goes. It’s very sim- ple; we read the job description and then make a judgement about whether or not our skillset matches up to it. As a soon-to-be English graduate, it’s probably best for eve- ryone involved if I stay away from jobs that involve working with dangerous animals or performing complicated surgery. This tried-and-tested method makes sense. However, if I wanted to become a university lecturer, the application process becomes a little more challenging. In my view, university lecturing is one of the only jobs where the skillset of the candidate and the job description are not always linked. Any applicant applying for a lectureship must have sound academic knowledge of their subject area, the ability to conduct independent research (in order to improve a university’s credibility) and - according to job applications I’ve drawn upon to evidence this article - a ‘proven track record [of] teaching.’ Where does this proven track record of teaching come from? Who judges whether or not the people employed to teach fee-paying students can actually teach? Is teaching a class part of the interview process? This process appears to be unregulated. To put it simply, universities up and down the country are employing people to teach you, where there is little evidence to suggest that these people would even know their way around an exam script. To explain it another way, I’ve recently found myself drawn to BBC documentary ‘Tough Young Teachers’, which charts the jour- ney of six young teachers in Lon- don undergoing the Teach First graduate scheme. These top gradu- ates have only six weeks teacher training (instead of the usual postgraduate year) before they pushed into deprived schools, where they supposedly ‘make a difference’. And to be fair, a couple have taken to their role like a Scot to Irn-Bru, but others have struggled with the demands of the job after such little training. Who suffers a result of their lack of experience and frank in- adequacy? Instead of receiving a quality education from a universi- ty-trained graduate, these school pupils are receiving a half-baked attempt from the educational equivalent of Bambi, who is still learning to walk. Here lies my confusion; when did school pupils and students become the test subjects? For lecturers and others to simply assume that because they have an in-depth knowledge of their subject area they are able to teach it to others is ignorant. I will be the first to admit that I am not an educational psychologist, but merely a hacked off student who has been on the receiving end of some poor teaching quality during my university career. I’m much better at identifying the problem rather than offering a solution. Perhaps all lecturers and teaching follows should undertake a mandatory teaching course that explains the benefits of positive reinforcement as a legitimate learning technique, for example. Whilst I have enjoyed my time at university, I was under the impression that the quality of teaching was a top priority and, after nearly four years, I would say that this goal has not been reached. In my opinion, the university needs to ensure that lecturers are making their teaching as much of a priority as their research. After all, it’s what we’re paying for. Spectacular, glamorous and bold: The Oscars 2014 Shona Duthie highlights the key points and incidents of the latest Oscars ceremony The Oscars ceremony 2014 was once again a glamorous and spectacular affair watched by millions of viewers across the world. It was a ceremony where that famous ‘selfie’ of many well known actors was sent instantly around media sites, particularly Facebook where different quirky memes have mocked the photo. It was talked about for days after, however, it was not the only one to appear. I thoroughly enjoyed Benedict Cumberbatch’s photobomb of U2 where he jumped in the air above the band in a sincere and serious Red Carpet pose. Another photo-bomb of the night appeared when Jennifer Lawrence was played at her own game, when Brad Pitt quickly jumped in behind her cute wee picture showing her head at the side of the big gold Oscar statue outside the venue. Anne Hathaway jumped in excitedly behind Jessica Biel’s unusual choice of selfie backstage. Not only was Lawrence played at her own game, I roared with laughter when once again she fell on the red carpet showing a repeat performance of last year when she fell on the way to the stage to collect her award. However, my favorite part of the ceremony was not how normal these actors appeared, getting excited about snapping themselves at a spectacular event, it is who wins the awards that I find quite thrilling. ‘12 Years A Slave’ is a film that I feel most definitely should have walked the Best Picture. It was emotional, historical and hard hitting. I felt it taught me a part of world history, being an adaption of a memoir of the same name. Lupita Nyong’o’s win of Best Supporting Actress to me was no shock even though many thought Jennifer Lawrence would take the award after winning best actress last year. She was also well deserv- ing of an award and it was a shame that she had some stiff competition in the category. I thought her performance in ‘American Hustle‘ was amazing and had real depth. What surprised me most was Leonardo DiCaprio being nominated seven times for Best Actor and not receiv- ing an award. I feel he has been in many iconic films such as ‘Inception’ and his latest ‘Wolf of Wall Street’. I am quite puzzled as to why he has not won an award yet as he is nothing short of amazing in his movies. ‘Gravity’ winning seven awards also came as a surprise to me. Many of my friends and I thought that the film lacked something that it needed to be as impacting as it wanted it to be. I am not discrediting the film as critics have raved about it but I may need to take a second look to see what maybe I am missing rather than what the film is. What I found most tasteful and fairly emotional in the awards was the ‘In Memoriam’ section. It showed names of many stars that have tragically passed away over the year including the untimely deaths of Paul Walker and Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Classical music was played while they showed photos of the stars and clips of them in their most well known films they acted in, directed, produced and created music for. Glenn Close presented this video stating, “We love you, we honor you, we miss you, but most of all — we thank you,” while paying a homage to some of Hollywood’s brightest and shining stars who were either taken too soon or lived their lives notoriously. It ended with a lovely and breathtaking rendition of her classic ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’. The Oscars this year were tremendous. With Ellen DeGeneres’ crashing of twitter with that photo and tipping the Pizza guy one thousand dollars, the fabulous and the not so fabulous dresses, and the classic tasteful homages to those stars who are sadly no longer with us. I will definitely be sleep deprived once again next year for the 87th Academy Awards to see if it can create the same atmosphere it did this time round. “Many of us bask in the glory of precious additional moments in bed, convincing ourselves that five more minutes can make a world of difference” Photo/ Alan Light (wikipedia.org) Opine

12 11 March 2014 Editorial [email protected] The Gaudie Editors: Alasdair Lane & Emily Thorburn Editorial Team Head Editors Deputy Editor News Editors Features Editor Opine Editor Satire Editor Life & Style Editor Arts Editor Listings Editor Sport Editor Photography Editor Head Copy Editor Gaudie TV Editor Copy Editing Team Deputy Section Editors Production Team Head of Production Production Assistants Online Manager Online Publishing Assistant Editor-in-Chief Alasdair Lane and Emily Thorburn Maria Suessmilch Dan Naylor and Anna Katila Grant Costello Sofiane Kennouche Hamish Roberts Alicia Jensen Elizabeth Ozolins Josiah Bircham Stuart Bill Ewa Czerwinska Oliver Stone Sebastian Clej Rosie Beetschen, Lieke Braadbaart, Andrew Cluness, Lewis Dale, Holly Dobbin, Andrew Parker Rachel Clark (News); Richard Wood (Opine); Ashley Sevadjian (L&S); Michael Cameron, Andrew Parker (Arts); Josefine Björkqvist (Sport) Maria Suessmilch Josiah Bircham, James Teasdale, George Mathew, Frédérique Manceau, Manuel Lopez Darren Coutts Steven Kellow Megan Dunn We voluntarily adhere to the Press Complaints Commission Code of Conduct (www.pcc.org.uk) and aim to provide fair and balanced reporting. Butchart Centre University Road Old Aberdeen AB24 3UT Tel: 01224 272980 Do you have an event you would like to advertise in The Gaudie? If so, email us at [email protected]. Every society and sport club are entitled to two quarter page adverts free every year. If you are a company wishing to advertise in The Gaudie, please also contact [email protected]. Disclaimer: All opinions expressed in the Editorial section are those of the authors of the articles, and do not necessarily represent views held by The Gaudie, AUSA, or any company which advertises in The Gaudie. Who writes the headlines? What makes a story newsworthy? Is it its timing? Its significance to society? Maybe it’s all about the proximity of the issue to the core readership? Possibly a mix of all three? As an editor, I get asked these sort of questions surprisingly often. You see, people assume that being in charge of a newspaper instantly renders an individual some sort of indomitable adjudicator of the relevant and the irrelevant, the newsworthy and the unremarkable. The truth is, this just isn’t the case. While it is our remit to decide upon which stories are most engaging, most likely to compel a prospective reader to pick up a copy, there is no exact science to editorial selection. It doesn’t matter if you’re Alan Rusbridger (The Guardian) or David Dinsmore (The Sun), no one man or woman can claim dominion over the newsworthy - this is the boast of one group and one group only, the readership. Readers can be led, influenced, and manipulated (sometimes nefariously) by the news; but it is they who ultimately decide what makes it to the front-page spread or page-4 crevice. Editorial staff have autonomy, don’t get me wrong, but if the prospect of pandering to public demand is all too demeaning, a publication won’t last long. This symbiotic relationship between readership and publisher is not one to be mourned - far from it, in fact. The immortal words of poet William Cowper - “variety’s the very spice of life” - rings truer than ever. Neither society nor its interests are homogenous, and accordingly, neither should its sources of information be. Newspapers and magazines may be divided up into different section - arts, features, opinions, et cetera - but this is only a half measure in the quest for widespread engagement. The adoption of particular stories, their promotion to more prominent spots, or relegation further down the page is dictated by what editors feel the people are most interested in. This is an extremely tricky task as the interests of the minority, no matter how small, must also be catered for. In a week in which an A-List ensemble’s selfie made for as newsworthy a story as the sudden invasion of a sovereign Eastern European state, this balance of interests is manifestly evident. What some may deem frivolous and myopically obsessed with the celebrity vogue, others are entertained and uplifted by. By the same token, what some may find distant and irrelevant to their own lives, others will find deeply pertinent and politically absorbing. You may wince at having to sieve through the ‘dross’ before arriving at the one story of interest, or find yourself disappointed that a satisfying page is sullied by a single subjectively nonsense article. This, however, is a fact of catchall media. So approach a paper like this one with an open mind - you may just be surprised what engages you the most. By Alasdair Lane Photo/ georgraph.co.uk We’re on the hunt for a new deputy Photography Editor. The successful candidate would be responsible for sourcing and taking quality, original photos under the direction of the Photography Editor. You would also be expected to work with and partly manage a team of Gaudie photographers. A technical knowledge of cameras, file types and photographic software would be helpful for the position, as well as a keen eye for composistion. Vacancy: Deputy Photography Editor

Some have called it a jester-off and others have brandished it a t**t-fest. And they’re right, this week the BBC somewhat reservedly announced their bagging of the debate between Nigel Farage, leader of UKIP, and Nick Clegg, leader of the Lib Dems. The televised debate over the UK’s relationship with the EU has been sought after by literally no one, ever. The Guardian have sacked their confidant Edward Snowden to secure exclusive interviews with two other, more professional rats. Alan Rusbridger, liberal-inchief at The Guardian, said that he did not give a damn about national and international security relations and that he was looking forward to producing feature after feature on the ‘century’s most important debate’ in the world’s most important (and obnoxious) newspaper. The two politicians recited facts that aids had fed them in private cars taking them to various new conferences in a ‘fierce’ bout of pre-match sparring. Clegg has been tipped to win the duel, which is said to contain a half time show of the lesser debate between Alex Salmond and David Cameron on the Scottish Independence debate. However, Clegg’s multi-linguistics gives him the unnerving ability to lie in numerous languages, reaching wider audiences and making even more people despise him and his slippery tongue. When approached about his tarnished reputation after the tuition fees betrayal in 2010-11, he argued that that was ‘all in the past,’ however, for many of us who pay fees, his lying antics remain firmly and very much dauntingly to be realised in the future. Downing Street said that David Cameron would not be taking part in the EU debate, and a spokesman for the Prime Minister said that the Lib Dems were ‘a bit needy for publicity’ by taking part. Farage, who has been MEP for the last fifteen years, and is called Nigel, said that the debate should take place in a ‘pub’ over a ‘pint’ but specified that he be in charge of the ‘jukebox’, as he ‘hadn’t listened to Nelly Furtado or Natasha Bedingfield in ages’. His party has also specified that if the debate is inconclusive, it should be settled over a game of ‘darts’ to which Clegg has rebuffed, saying that he prefers ‘pool’ – madness. Other BNP-type pub activities such as burning and lynching anything and anyone without a Union Jack tattooed, have been banned, but UKIP supporters feel that the ceremonial ‘spitting on the EU flag’ is obligatory to any debate dearest leader Nige is involved in. By Hamish Roberts 11 March 2014 The Gaudie 13 The Silver Tongue Editor: Hamish Roberts [email protected] Crimea river The crisis in Ukraine took a turn for the worse last week. The confrontation between troops was filmed by news crews, and various air bases and ports were occupied by Russian soldiers in the Crimean region. Ukranian commanders in the navy and army defected willingly - Ukranians seemed outraged by this, defecting to a far superior power; cowardice or sensibility? The West’s reaction was completely justified. John ‘t**t’ Kerry, USA’s plastic diplomat in chief, was on scene in Kiev to shake hands with any one with a pair. He declared America’s willingness to kill as many Russians as possible when any good excuse arises. The subscript, though not that ‘sub’, was the need to escalate the spat to biblical proportions to justify a nuclear strike and a ‘not so cold’ war. Of course, to the other side of the affair comes Russia, who as the Joker to America’s Batman, have wheeled out coy President Putin yet again to get the whole world ready to flee underground. In lieu of the Oscars, the Academy awarded Putin the prize for Best Actor, (McConaughey was quite ungracious in the alteration of the decision), Best Invasion, the latter of which America and Britain jointly shared the honours of after the illegal invasion of Iraq in 2003. The Gaudie’s sources inside the White House in Washington have confided that America is planning a bigger and better invasion in the next few months to retain the coveted award, which is usually a good indicator for the British Academy’s awarding of the Most Aggressive Super Power in next year’s award season. Speculation has seen drug and Latino laden Mexico, placid Canada and grossly antagonistic Switzerland. In his acceptance speech Putin was gracious, and said he wanted the world to expect ‘bigger and better things’ in the coming year. There was some heckling from the Ukranian contingent, who were swiftly removed and never heard of again. Putin’s award was commemorated with the screening of his best scene involving a massive ship, a few stealth bombers and a big f**k-off tank. Overwhelmingly, the invasion of Crimea has been a positive thing: don’t do a weepy Oscars speech, don’t Crimea river. By N.O.T. Funny Photo/ wikimedia.org Cartoon - Bank Job Farage to barrage Clegg the dreg Fresh evidence on Russia’s Crimea motivation Russia’s sudden occupation of the Crimean peninsula shocked the world last week, eliciting stern warnings from the West. G8 leaders were quick to condemn the flagrant disregard for Ukrainian sovereignty, with White House representatives confirming President Obama’s 90-minute confrontation of Russian leader Vladimir Putin would have been longer had it not been for the price of international airtime minutes. President Putin has adamantly maintained that his decision for military intervention was spurred on by a need to protect the interests of Russians and Russian-speakers threatened by the recent Ukrainian coup. However, the image above - which surfaced late last week - has given the affair a fresh complexion. Accidently forwarded to Reuters News Agency, it appears to depict a group of A-List Hollywood celebrities entertaining themselves on Oscar night with topless photos of Putin. The picture, which was reportedly attached to an email sent from the Russian President’s personal account the night before the invasion, was accompanied with this message: “Have you seen this? F**k the West, f**k Ellen, f**k everyone. They think I am a joke? We’ll see who is laughing tomorrow. V” Believed to have been intended for his inner-circle only, the email appears to show Putin’s fury at being objectified by Ellen and her Hollywood ensemble. Known to be a man riddled with insecurity and deeply selfconscious about his body, an expert panel of political analysts and behavioural psychologists was convened to discuss the recent development. Following hours of heated debate they concluded Putin’s impetuous invasion of Ukraine was more than likely a retaliatory exhibition of power in response to the personal insult, and a warning for all not to smirk at his ample bosom. President Putin has refused to comment. Update In an astonishing turn of events, beleaguered double-amputee Olympian Oscar Pistorius has confessed to his instrumental role in the orchestration of the Ukrainian crisis. Addressing the public via loudspeaker from his holding cell, the athlete - who is currently on trial for the murder of his girlfriend - owned up to his most recent misdemeanour. Incensed that his trial was to be televised live, the fallen star hatched a scheme to draw attention away from the proceedings. After doctoring the inflammatory image in MS Paint, Pistorius confessed to have sent it anonymously to President Putin in the hope it would elicit a global catastrophe. When asked if he was pleased that his plan worked, Pistorius replied: “Yes”. Mobbed by press on his exit from Pretoria courthouse, the athlete was bombarded with questions regarding the Ukrainian incident. Losing his temper once again, Pistorius was heard shouting: “Yah min, I f**king sent the email, alright?! You ask me that again bru and I’ll f**king end you like I did my gir-”, at which point his words were muffled by the hand of his lawyer, Robert Shapiro. Addressing the incident afterwards Mr Shapiro, famed for his defence of OJ Simpson in the nineties, explained that his client was simply going say “...end you like I did my girlish obsession with Hello Kitty”. The trial continues. As do the lies. By Alasdair Lane

Living in halls can be both a blessing and a curse. It is great for meeting people in your first year or while on exchange, and it is an easy business with communal cleaners, billsincluded etc. But, let’s face it: many of us end up living with people we would normally not befriend. Unspoken differences can make life in halls one hell of a time. You get the loud party-loving flat mates, who party every day of the week; the dirty flat mates, whose hair is everywhere; and the lazy flat mates, who never, ever take out the rubbish. The most annoying kind of flat mate, however, is the ghostly food thief. Your milk bottle looks suspiciously empty; you are sure that there were more slices of bread in that plastic bag; and your frozen pizza has mysteriously disappeared. For some reason, having your food stolen is more painful than left over dirty dishes or a growing mountain of pizza boxes in your kitchen. The Food-Cluedo begins: in your mind you unintentionally begin to accuse your least favorite flat mate, but you are too afraid of confrontation. So, you pin up a sassy note, just as Labour MP Liz Kendall did in 2012: “I do not appreciate this and warn other people: don’t leave anything in here unless you’re happy for it to go missing. Liz Kendall, Room 219.” Yes, it is not only a touchy subject among students, even the communal fridges in the Houses of Parliament are a battle field! In answer to her warning, a riposte bright yellow sticky note stated: “I took it… AND I’D DO IT AGAIN.” Later, a third message appeared: “YOU ARE A VERY SICK INDIVIDUAL”, a reply that MP Kendall denied to have written. As we all know, the Westminster tuna salad thief is not alone. Only yesterday afternoon, the defrosted mince of one of my hall mates was stolen –as well as the bowl – from our kitchen counter. This was not a lone incident, as the lovely notes on our communal kitchen wall remind us of the stolen fairy liquid, a sausage roll, milk, lettuce and margarine. Now, being one sausage roll short does not hurt – but when multiple items disappear it begins to get annoying. So, what can you do except to wait and hope for the madness to stop? Labeling your food is a good way to personalise your stuff and increase the moral barrier for a potential food burglar. In very peculiar situations, you can even consider marking the line on your milk container to scare thieves off. But, apart from passive-aggressive strategies, the most effective way is to have a flat meeting about the incidents without accusing anyone directly. The situation of an anonymous intervention may be embarrassing enough for the thief. Hopefully, it will bring him or her over to the good side, unless they are so addicted to the consumption of stolen stuff, so turned on by the rush of preparing snatched mince in the kitchen with the possibility of the owner walking in at any second, that they are too far gone. Student accommodation is the halfway house between adolescence and responsible adulthood. The first steps along the way – of buying your own groceries and cooking for yourself – might seem scary, but that is why God gave us speech to communicate. Talk to your flat mates, I implore you, if you need to use some of their milk or if you need help with cooking. Take action now before you’re stealing bigger things: like stadiums, or quarries. I am sure that they are happy to spare a sausage roll for you. 14 11 March 2014 Life & Style The Gaudie Editor: Alicia Jensen Style On Campus ROSS HUNTER 2nd Year English Literature Ross describes his style as “plain” and wears his favourite accessory: a white T-Shirt. TSVETAN PETROV 2nd Year Law Tsvetan likes classy French Prêt-à-Porter fashion and is wearing a coat from Banana Republic. AZAA GANKHUYAG 2nd Year Management Studies Azaa gets most of her fashion sparks from Tumblr and likes to combine feminine styles with tomboy trends. ANE ALONSO 3rd Year English Ane gets her fashion inspiration from her mother, who is probably the best dressed woman in Spain! GEORGIA WANDS 4th Year Sociology Inspired by Zooey Deschanel and Daisy Lowe; Georgia wears dresses on a regular basis and is a fan of bright colours. Photos/ Polly Roquette The food thief strikes again… Pauline Finola Taubach describes what it’s like when your food disappears slowly, and what you can do about it Photo/ Global X (flikr) [email protected]

11 March 2014 15 www.thegaudie.co.uk The Gaudie Life & Style MY TOP5 Tips to get you through your dissertation 1 Eat well There is only so long you can get by on library sandwiches and double macchiatos before scurvy sets in and your bones start to resemble bendy straws. Calling Dominos for ‘2 for Tuesdays’ will not provide your weary body with the vitamins needed to write a sparkling dissertation, so I recommend cleaning a pan and making some soup with actual vegetables. Your brain will rejoice. 2 Move around Unfortunately, writing a dissertation involves a lot of sitting down on a hard chair for hours on end and so to avoid a numb bum at the very least, the solution is to move around a bit. One top tip is to wait until 1am when the less-committed (or moreorganised) students have left and busting out some serious chair dancing to Beyonce. Or, you know, you could go to the gym. 3 Make a plan Starting an 8000+ word dissertation is a really daunting prospect, especially after having probably procrastinated for 2 weeks on the topic. This next tip is an obvious and boring one, but make a plan! But only one: do not get into the awful catch-22 of making plans of plans upon plans.... 4Take time out To ensure sanity and to stave off the effects of cabin fever, it is necessary to take time away from the library. Not only does your skin crave some vitamin D, but time away from the books can provide you with a clearer head to review what you had previously scribbled down at 4am, high on energy drinks and crying in MacRobert. 5Don’t panic! For most undergraduates, a dissertation is the biggest piece of writing that they will ever complete, and by the time the dissertation module rolls around, stress levels are always running high. From choosing a topic, to structuring paragraphs and researching, writing a dissertation is a massive undertaking that can leave you doubting success... But after having been through it, I urge students to have more faith in their abilities! Looking after yourself and giving it your all can only lead to a grade to be proud of. By Jodie Molyneux “For the Christian, that one thing is Jesus Christ, who gave up everything for us... Lent became a time of beautiful simplicity, hearing the words of the Bible, and coming to God in repentant joy for what He has done for us” On the 5 March, Ash Wednesday, Lent began. Last week over a billion Catholics around the world celebrated Ash Wednesday, the official beginning of Lent in the faith, many without any idea of the history or meaning behind the celebration. While Catholicism seems to be the religion that most people identify Lent and Ash Wednesday with, the truth of the matter is that many other Christian religions celebrate these as well, including Lutherans, Anglicans, Methodists, and Presbyterians. Being originally from Ireland, a devotedly Roman Catholic nation, I was shocked to see the lack of ash-covered foreheads in the Granite City. Many may have a notion of what Lent is all about, but few know its origins and true purpose. The ashes that are used by priests on Ash Wednesday usually come from the remains of burned palms that were blessed on the previous year’s Palm Sunday. The ash symbolizes death, mortality and sorrow for sin. The marking of ashes on the forehead in the form of a cross also represents that sins are forgiven through Jesus’ death and resurrection. During Lent, many of the faithful commit to fasting or giving up certain types of luxuries as a form of penitence. As the fasting period of 40 days is observed, the number tends to be a symbolic representation of many religious facts or Biblical references. It is traditionally described as fasting for 40 days in commemoration of the 40 days, which, according to the Gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke, Jesus spent fasting in the desert before the beginning of his public ministry, where he is said to have endured temptation by the Devil. Furthermore, other biblical references where the number 40 is important are: the 40 days Moses spent on Mount Sinai with God, the 40 days and nights Elijah spent walking to Mount Horeb, the 40 days and nights God is said to have sent rain causing the great flood of Noah, the 40 years the Hebrew people wandered in the desert in their journey towards the ‘Promised land’ and the 40 days Jonah gave in his prophecy of judgment to the city of Ninevah. Lent is a time where people focus more on one thing, and in order to do so we must lessen the other unnecessary things around us. This is why we “give up” things for Lent. By giving up something that is a regular part of your life (e.g. a kind of food or drink, games, or maybe even Facebook), this allows you to focus more on one thing. For the Christian, that one thing is Jesus Christ, who gave up everything for us, including life itself. So Lent became a time of beautiful simplicity, hearing the words of the Bible, and coming to God in repentant joy for what He has done for us. But has Lent become more trivial? Has focus on the religious origin been lost? The most popular things to give up nowadays are chocolate, tv programmes, fizzy drinks, alcohol etc. However, the most valuable ones I found were from ‘A Life Teen Missionary’ Magazine. One girl suggests giving up the snooze button on their alarm clock saying that it teaches a lot about discipline, another endeavoured to read the bible cover to cover. Others decided to forgive the people who had hurt them in the past, and dedicated all their evenings and prayers specifically to them. Perhaps we should endeavour to remind ourselves of John 3:16, which has been referred to as “The Nutshell of the Gospel”: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life”. This is in stark contrast to today when people ponder the possibility of giving up chocolate or updating their facebook status. Don’t you think? Lent: religion or fad diet? Alex Taylor considers Lent and if the religious tradition has faded I n September 2011, St Andrews student Ella Woodward was diagnosed with postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome: a disease that critically affects the autonomic nervous system. ‘The illness had a pretty devastating effect on my life’ Ella explains on her blog. She was bed-ridden for around sixteen hours a day, spending her waking hours exhausted with severe heart palpitations, stomach issues and chronic pain. Despite taking steroids alongside her prescribed 28 pills a day, her health problems refused to mitigate through conventional medicine alone. However, after being inspired by Kris Carr’s book ‘Crazy Sexy Diet’ (don’t judge a book by its title, it is actually predominantly science-based) the History of Art undergraduate decided to make some dramatic changes to her eating habits in an attempt to combat the disease naturally. Kris Carr, who had stage four cancer, made enormous improvements to her health following this clean diet and Ella, feeling helpless after a severe PTS attack in January 2012, was encouraged to follow the same regime, so despite being a self-confessed ‘sugar monster’ who lived for chocolate and peanut butter, she decided to cut out all meat, dairy, gluten, additives and refined sugar from her diet practically overnight. ‘I was pretty nervous; I didn’t know the first thing about healthy food’ she confesses to The Telegraph. The first six weeks she admits were fairly repetitive and boring – porridge, buckwheat toast, bananas, avocado and sweet potato constituted the majority of her diet. Although she did notice slight improvements to her energy levels within a short space of time, it was fairly clear to her that, in order to make the lifestyle choice a sustainable one, she had to enjoy what she was eating and therefore try her hand at cooking. Ella decided that the way forward was to create fun sweet and savoury recipes that embraced all of the wonderfully healthy plant-based ingredients she had for so long ignored. Convinced by her friend to keep an online record of her ‘health adventure’, she soon had a successful food blog with followers from across the globe. Deliciouslyella.com continues to grow unrelentingly in popularity as she regularly updates it with new, exciting and nutritious recipes. Sweet potato brownies, cauliflower crust pizza, breakfast smoothie bowls, spinach and artichoke dip and healthy nutella are but a few of her delicious creations. She has attracted a hugely supportive online following with over 84,000 Instagram followers and 17,000 Facebook ‘likes’, and has recently been featured in publications such as Grazia, Vogue and Women’s Health Magazine. As well as this, she runs twice-monthly cooking classes in London, alongside training to be a nutritionist at London’s College of Naturopathic Medicine. Unsurprisingly, she has been so busy lately that she is now advertising her desperate need for an assistant on social media. While all of this may seem like a full-time job in itself, Ella has also just launched a best-selling app and is currently writing her first cookbook, which is due out in January 2015. The new lifestyle Ella has adopted has made such an overwhelmingly positive impact on her condition that, in September last year, she was able to come off the drugs completely. Her doctors have been so blown away by the improvements to her health that they are in the process of organising treatment regimes based on her diet for other PTS sufferers. ‘Eating this way has allowed me to take control of my illness, stopping the constant pain, restoring my energy and giving me my life back again’ she explains. Stressing that this is not a diet of starvation or deprivation, her philosophy is to ‘embrace all of mother nature’s goodness... learn to love food, love snacking and love your body’, and she guarantees this will help it to love you back. Deliciously Ella: health food guru Lauren Macready introduces the food blogger who embraced a ‘clean’ diet to fight her illness Photo/ Deliciously Ella

16 11 March 2014 www.thegaudie.co.uk The Gaudie Life & Style The arrival of spring is associated with rebirth, purification and fresh starts. We are going to explore how spring is celebrated in different parts of the world. Switzerland The Sechseläuten is a traditional Swiss holiday that started in 1862. The festivity culminates in the burning of the giant ‘Böögg’, an 80 kg ‘snowman’ over three meters tall, which is filled with fireworks and set alight at 18:00 hours sharp. When the head of the Böögg explodes, it signals the official end of winter. Tradition has it that the quicker it explodes, the hotter and longer the summer will be. Thailand Songkran Festival is an important event on the Buddhist calendar. This water festival marks the beginning of the traditional Thai New Year. The name Songkran comes from a Sanskrit word meaning ‘passing’ or ‘approaching’. Don’t be surprised if you get splashed because water is an important element of Songkran, especially in more recent times when the throwing of water has become a huge part of the annual celebrations. Crowds of people roam around throwing bucketfuls of water, using water pistols and just generally soaking anyone in the vicinity. Why water? Because it is all about cleansing, purification and fresh starts. India Holi represents a spring festival which is also known as the festival of colours or the festival of love. The festival starts with a Holika bonfire where people celebrate dancing and singing. In the open streets, parks, outside temples and buildings, everyone is free to play with coloured water and dry powder. Water guns and coloured water-filled balloons are a musthave. There is no tradition of holding puja (prayer), and the day is for partying and pure enjoyment. It is a national holiday and this year the festivity is celebrated on 17 March. Romania The first day of March is celebrated by offering each other a Mărțișor (or trinket, in an approximate English translation). The name Mărțișor is a diminutive of March (Martie in Romanian). It is believed that the person who wears the red and white string would enjoy a prosperous and healthy year. It is assumed that this tradition is more than 8000 years old. While some believe that it has Roman origins, others argue that the tradition comes from old Dacian times. Another symbol of spring is the spring snowflake. Pakistan Basant Kite Flying Festival marks the start of spring and also represents religious festivity. The first day of spring in the Muslim calendar is celebrated by people of all ages who get involved in kitefighting contests. The winner is the one who manages to keep his or her kite in the sky for the longest period. After putting powdered glass on their strings, they use the strings to try to cut off each other’s kites. The colourful kites are of different size and shapes and some of them carry wishes, prayers and also regards to their God. Celebrating Spring around the world Anastasia Cojocaru describes seasonal festivities in a variety of countries across the globe Photo/ Anastasia Cojocaru Ingredients For the biscuit base10 digestive biscuits 75g/3oz butter, melted 1 tbsp clear honey For the filling700g/1½ lb mascarpone cheese 2 lemons, juice and zest 200g/7oz caster sugar, plus more to taste 4 tbsp icing sugar mint, to garnish For the sauce450g frozen summer fruits, defrosted icing sugar, to taste This week, Alicia and Clare attempt a bake-off style cooking video, where Alicia bakes a scrumptious lemon cheese cake and Clare bakes a delicious batch of cookies. Make sure to check out the video on youtube for a more thorough how-to for these delicious and easy recipes. Watch Alicia & Clare prepare this recipe! Preparation Method To prepare the base of the cake, brush the bottom of a cake tin with some melted butter. Crush the digestive biscuits in a bowl, add the melted butter and honey and stir until well crumbled. Put the mixture into the bottom of the cake tin. Press the crumbs into the bottom of the tin so that they form an even base. Using a spoon can be helpful to do this. Put this into the fridge while you make the filling. For the filling, put the mascarpone cheese, lemon juice and zest and caster sugar into a bowl, and then mix the three together until it’s a homogenous mixture. Do not mix too much as this will be bad for the cake. Feel free to add more sugar to sweeten it up. Scoop the cake filling mixture on top of the digestive cookie base, and chill in the fridge for at least 2 hours. For the sauce, crush or blend the frozen summer fruits in a bowl. Add icing sugar (to taste), and mix this in a food processor until smooth. Place the cheesecake onto a plate, decorate the top with more of the summer fruits, and spoon the sauce around the side. Decorate with the remaining berries. Enjoy! Adapted from: www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes Preparation Method Preheat the oven to 150C for a fan oven, 170C for a conventional oven, or Gas Mark 3. Rub together the butter and flour until it resembles bread crumbs. Mix in the sugar, cranberries and white chocolate. If you don’t like white chocolate or cranberries, you can add in something else; raisins, milk chocolate, nuts, ginger. Don’t be afraid to get creative. Using your hands, mix and lightly knead it until it forms a smooth pliable dough. If it is too dry and doesn’t stick together, use a little water or milk to help. Turn the mixture out onto a floured surface. Roll the mixture out using a rolling pin (or wine bottle) to about 1/2 a centimeter thick. Use biscuit cutters (or glasses) to make shapes, and place onto a greased baking tray. Bake in the oven for 12 to 15 mintues, until lightly golden. Leave them on the side to cool. Mix the icing sugar and water until it’s a stiff paste, then spread over the biscuts and sprinkle with decorations. The Gaudie bake off: cookies or cake? “When the head of the Böögg explodes, it signals the end of winter. Tradition has it that the quicker it explodes, the hotter and longer the summer will be” Switzerland Ingredients 175g plain flour 110g batter 50g caster sugar 50g cranberries 25g white chocolate chips 100g icing sugar cold water Bake at 150 degrees in a fan oven and 170 in a normal or at gas mark 3 for 12 to 15 minutes “It is believed that the person who wears the red and white string would enjoy a prosperous and healthy year” Romania Photo/ Alicia Jensen Photo/ Sebastian Clej

11 March 2014 17 Arts [email protected] The Gaudie Editor: Elizabeth Ozolins Bombay Bicycle Club Aberdeen Student Radio’s Alan Henderson speaks to Ed Nash and Suren de Saram of Bombay Bicycle Club before their show at The Music Hall, Aberdeen You guys make up half of the ‘official’ Bombay Bicycle Club line-up, but how many people do you actually have as part of your live band nowadays? Ed: There are six people onstage. We have an extra female singer, and a keyboard player, who probably does more than anyone else on-stage now, what with all the electronics on the new album, and all the percussion. Suren: We’ve actually got three brass players on tour with us as well, so it’s pretty packed. Who do you have doing the backing vocals on this tour then? [Former live and recorded backing vocalists include Lucy Rose and Rae Morris] Ed: We have Liz Lawrence, who is a fantastic female singer we found via Jamie’s [MacColl – guitarist] cousin. It took a long time to find a female singer for this tour because on the album we’ve got Lucy Rose and Rae Morris, who’ve got such different voices. We should probably talk about the new album. It’s been out for a couple of weeks now, are you pleased with the reaction to it thus far? Ed: We’re incredibly pleased. I think it has got the best fan response out of any of our albums. I haven’t read that much, in fact I don’t think I’ve read anything negative about it online, which is kind of unprecedented. The reviews have been good and it got to number one, which obviously isn’t the reason you make music but it’s nice. It helps us to be able to keep making music! Your four albums are all fairly varied in style, is that the result of a conscious decision on your part? Ed: When we start to make an album, we don’t have an idea of what it’s going to sound like, it just depends on what songs turn up and what music we’re listening to at the time. I think there’s a natural progression from one album to the next – like this one picks up where songs like ‘Shuffle’ and ‘Lights Out, Words Gone’ left off, with the electronic instrumentation and I suppose sort of dancey feel. I was going to try to avoid the phrase ‘gone dancey’, but it seems like you’ve done it in a fairly organic fashion, rather than just adding a synthesiser. Suren: Yeah, definitely. It’s all pretty layered rhythmically. Every song is kind of a combination of electronic beats and live playing. There are more samples and loops. As Ed says, we’re taking the foundations of A Different Kind of Fix [2011 album] and building on them. You guys are just beginning your UK tour, how’s it going so far? Ed: Yeah, this is day three. It’s going very well. Really, incredibly well actually, it’s going without a hitch so far – touch wood! We played in Glasgow last night, which was great. We love the Scottish audiences. I think you’ve got the prettiest venue in Aberdeen tonight, I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to look around. Ed: It’s one of the prettiest venues in the country, I think. It’s actually the first time we’ve played in Aberdeen, so it’s really exciting to get to play here. You’re returning to the Scottish festival scene again this summer, playing T in the Park after doing Rockness last year. Ed: Yeah, again, the Scottish audiences are the best. It’s a festival we played right at the beginning, when we were 18 and just starting up. Each time we’ve come back we’ve played slightly further up the bill, it’s been a slow and steady progression. You’re certainly no strangers to festival crowds; do you find their reaction indicative of how big you are at that point in time? Ed: I don’t know. I kind of think people will go to see a band at a festival if they’ve heard a bit about them. It tends to be that these hyped bands get huge crowds because people can just go along and check it out. I hope people will come and see us! How about the type of reaction you’re getting from audiences? Do you think it has changed as you’ve gone through different albums in different styles? Suren: Yeah. I think when you play festivals you have to tailor your set list a bit, make it more of a ‘greatest hits’ kind of thing. When it’s your own show you can afford to make it more of a dynamic journey I guess. Ed: It’s kind of what I was saying, people might come to see you at festivals that don’t really know you, so you kind of have to grab people’s attention immediately to win them over. You mentioned earlier that you’ve had to add extra musicians to your on-stage line-up, have you found any difficulties so far in translating the new album to a live setting? Ed: When we started trying to play this album live, we were pretty much trying to recreate all of the sounds on the album, and it was initially very frustrating. Suren: Yeah, we basically realised after a little bit that it was pointless trying to recreate it exactly. Partly because it just wouldn’t be interesting for the audience to just see us all constantly pressing buttons! Ed: I think we’ve found a balance between what we were doing before, which was two guitars, bass and drums – a live, rocky set – and what the album sounds like. It’s kind of a live interpretation of it, which is hopefully more fun for the audience. It’s great fun to play, I have to say. You guys have been around for about 8 years now. It really doesn’t feel like it’s been that long; are you pretty much used to the whole band lifestyle now, especially having been part of it from such a young age? Suren: We definitely feel more experienced now. It’s kind of mad that we’ve been a band for nearly ten years – it’ll be our ten year anniversary next year. That seems completely mental to me. Ed: We don’t really know anything aside from it now, even when we were at school we’d be doing it in our spare time. In our holidays we’d go on tour, our friends would come to our shows on weekends. It’s something we’ve always done, our lives have been completely surrounded by it. INTERVIEW “We definitely feel more experienced now. It’s kind of mad that we’ve been a band for nearly ten years – it’ll be our ten year anniversary next year. That seems completely mental to me.” Photo/ gustaffo89 (wikipedia)

18 11 March 2014 www.thegaudie.co.uk The Gaudie Arts News John Steinbeck: A Retrospective On the 112th anniversary of the acclaimed author’s birthday, Petra Hanackova discusses his life and work On 27 February, the literary world remembered the 112th anniversary of a great writer who lived with empathy for those less fortunate. John Steinbeck was an American author, whose sensitivity to social issues and love for writing directed him toward a creation of extraordinary and timeless work. He won The Nobel Prize in Literature in 1962 and remains one of the most significant authors of the twentieth century. Steinbeck was born in a small farming town; Salinas, California, into an unwealthy but respectable family. When the writer-to-be was growing up, he rebelliously defined himself against the ‘Salinas thinking’ of inhabitants of the town. At the age of fourteen, he decided to become a writer despite growing up in a farming village, and spent hours practising writing. However, childhood in the Salinas Valley sparked his interest in environment. Steinbeck became aware of a bond between people and the land. From his early prose ‘To a God Unknown’ to one of his last novels ‘East of Eden’, he portrays the characters as tied to and shaped by the environment they live in. He pursued studies at Stanford University in order to please his parents, but never got a degree. Young Steinbeck only took courses that interested him and did not spend much time in lecture halls. During six years of studies at Stanford, he frequently worked with migrants on ranches. The experience determined the direction of Steinbeck’s life oeuvre as it awakened his strong empathy for rural workers. The writer’s main genre was the social novel which focused on problems of rural labour. In the books, he tackled the isolation, loneliness and dislocation of migrant workers. It is mainly the socalled Dust Bowl Trilogy that deals with the topics. The stories are set in a rural environment during the Great Depression. The trilogy includes the novel ‘In Dubious Battle’ and a popular novella ‘Of Mice and Men’ that was adapted many times since its publication. Probably the most famous adaptation is a film with John Malkovich playing the role of the mentally challenged Lennie. The third book of the trilogy, ‘The Grapes of Wrath’, published at the apex of the Great Depression in 1939 is considered Steinbeck’s masterpiece. The narrative of the novel focuses on the Joad family who are dispossessed of their property in Oklahoma and have to travel to California to earn a liv- ing. There they encounter violence, cruelty, hatred of banks and the state disregarding its own people. Reactions to his work varied great- ly. Some called Steinbeck ‘a liar’ and ‘a communist’. Copies of ‘The Grapes of Wrath’ were burnt in the streets, banned in schools and libraries. The writer even had to buy a revolver for protection. On the other hand, the novel was the biggest 1939 bestseller in America. The international community recognised the value of the book and awarded him The Pulitzer Prize. A well-known film starring Henry Fonda was made only a year after the success of the book’s publication. In order to offer as true a description of workers’ hardship as possible, the writer went undercover as an unhappy migrant worker while working at one of the farms. The experience nearly destroyed him, but Steinbeck claimed: ‘I’m trying to write history while it is happening, and I don’t want it to be wrong.’ After having published ‘The Grapes of Wrath’, John Steinbeck took a pause from his commitment to the migrant environment, partly because of health problems. He pursued his interest in science, mainly marine biology, and later published travel literature. The writer also participated in the Sec- ond World War efforts by writing patriotic literary pieces and work- ing for the New York Herald Trib- une as a foreign correspondent. Toward the later years of his life, Steinbeck settled in New York with his third wife. During this period, he wrote the great work, ‘East of Eden’. The theme of the book is Steinbeck’s native valley and ‘his’ people living in Salinas. Steinbeck commented on East of Eden that ‘This is ‘’the book’’... Always I had this book waiting to be written.’ John Steinbeck died on 20 December 1968 after living a remarkable life. The belief that every man can approach perfectibility became his most important motivation. He was an example of a person who did not hesitate to sacrifice his life in order to bring a trustworthy image of social hardship to the public. On the occasion of his anniversary, the thought that the world needs a few more such dedicated men certainly comes to mind. The 86th Academy Award ceremony was held on 2 March at Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, Los Angeles. While Gravity led the way with seven awards, including Best Director and Best Original Score, 12 Years a Slave walked away with Best Picture. The night was marked by Ellen Degeneres’s star-studded selfie becoming the most retweeted tweet in history. A Morrissy fansite has revealed the title of the singer’s tenth studio album. World Peace Is None of Your Business, due to be released this Summer, sees Morrissey working with producer Joe Chiccarelli, who has previously worked on albums with The Strokes and Alanis Morrissette. Belle and Sebastian will score the one-off UK televison show ‘The Dog Thrower’, directed by Matthew Perry as part of Sky Arts’ Playhouse Presents..., a series of eight 30 minute comedies. Sky Ferreira spoke out against hateful internet comments in a recent Facebook post. The 21- year-old singer-songwriter expressed her ‘exhaustion’ with the ‘abusive’ posts from a number of male fans and suggests that deleting the offensive material is the way with which to deal with issues such as online misogyny. It has been announced that BBC 3 is due for closure in the autumn of 2015. Although the channel will become an online service on BBC iplayer, its discontinuation on digital terrestrial television is unprecendented and has stirred debate regarding the way we view our favourite shows. Oasis’s debut album, Definitely Maybe, will be reissued in order to mark its 20th anniversary. Liam Gallagher responded on Twitter, suggesting ‘don’t buy it’. The album, due to be released in May will feature rare and unreleased recordings from the band’s archive. Jeff Goldblum has confirmed his involvement with Independence Day 2. It has previously been revealed that Will Smith would not return to the character of Captain Steven Hiller, but Bill Pullman will return as President Thomas J Whitmore. By Elizabeth Ozolins We at ASR celebrated the first birthday of our hugely successful live gig series a couple of Fridays ago (21 February). We filled Cellar 35 to capacity yet again, and put on a brilliant line-up for the occasion. Marionettes headlined the very first one, and returned a year later having released a brilliant debut album and been deservedly nominated in the Best Live Act category at the Scottish Alternative Music Awards. We had them back both because we’re sentimental and because they’re amazing. Fellow previous headliners Farewell Singapore sub-headlined, showcasing yet more new material. They just keep adding things to their live repertoire, and it will be interesting to see what they eventually end up releasing. We were also lucky to have local upstart punks Lenin Death Mask opening. They only played their first gig at the end of December, but have already wowed crowds across Scotland. I haven’t been this excited about a local band in a while, since they boast great songs and are fun to watch live. They have only got a couple of rough demos up on SoundCloud thus far, but ‘American Irony’ in particular sounds extremely promising. They’re doing a mini-tour with Star Rover soon, which includes an Aberdeen show at Cellar 35 on 21 March. There are plenty more exciting local happenings over the next couple of weeks. Indianredlopez finally release their new album on 17 March, and new single ‘No Longer Dying’ suggests we are in for more accomplished indieinflected electro-pop. The video is really cool too. They are one of the country’s most interesting bands – sonically, visually, melodically… all the adverbs. They are about to go off on tour, with their Aberdeen date on 14 March at Peacock Visual Arts Centre sure to be packed. Last year was excellent for local releases, and 2014 seems to be starting off just as well. By Alan Henderson First anniversary gig success and the upcoming weeks in local music On 7 March Glasgow hosted the fifth annual Scottish Alternative Music Awards. Previous nominees included the likes of Fatherson, Chvrches and Bwani Junction. Despite the seem- ingly impossible task it sets itself, establishing the best of the thou- sands of bands that could be de- scribed as ‘alternative’, there is nowhere else that gives this sort of platform to acts the general pub- lic might not have heard of. There are categories for rock, electronic, hip-hop, metal and acoustic artists, as well as coveted Best Newcomer and Best Live Act awards. One of the reasons the ceremony has done so well is that it recognis- es those bands who are active out- side the central belt. Unlike some other ‘nationwide’ competitions for unsigned acts, the judging pan- el (who compile the nominations) are made up of important figures from all over the country. As such, there is a healthy dose of Aberdeen representation. Forest Fires followed up their Best Newcomer nomination from a couple of years ago, graduating to the Best Rock/Alternative category. They faced stiff competition from Baby Strange, but the strength of last year’s Animatronics EP gave them plenty of hope, resulting in them walking away with this year’s award. Cara Mitchell was nominat- ed for Best Acoustic Act, an award she was unlucky not to win twice, being beaten to the post this year by Jack Rowberry. Having finally put out their debut album last year, Marionettes were deservedly up for Best Live Act, which is possibly the most competitive category of them all. Akord would always have been nominated for Best Metal after the year they’ve had. Having won na- tionwide Kerrang and Download competitions, they proved them- selves a formidable force and ultimately walked away with the prize. It’s great to see that Daniel Mutch gained recognition with him up for Best Newcomer, along with Ab- erdeen favourites Pinact however lost out to Dundee four-piece Model Aeroplanes. Finally, we were represented in the Rap/Hip-hop category by Ransom FA, alongside Young Fathers, Hector Bizerk and Ally McCrae, with the latter ultimately winning the award. Overall it was a very strong showing from Aberdeen acts this year, with our city finally recieving the recognition we deserve. Scottish Alternative Music Awards Alan Henderson discusses Aberdeen’s presence at the award ceremony in Glasgow “One of the reasons the ceremony has done so well is that it recognises those bands who are active outside the central belt.” Arts

Wild Beast’s fourth album, Present Tense, opens with the confident, synth-driven ‘Wanderlust’, the lead single from the album, which really sets the tone for the album — ethereal vocals, prominent bass lines and synths-a-plenty. This said, the album maintains much of the tribal percussion of previous albums, but blends it seamlessly into progression into a much more abstract musical area. The first four tracks of the album really push the gliding vocals and driving bass accompanied with layers and layers of percussion and keyboards, and build to a crescendo in the form of the Sweet Spot (a real stand out on the album). At this point the beautiful cacophony that has become so familiar is stripped away through the minimalistic Daughters, which becomes haunting through its comparative suppression. This touching lull in the album continues until it is picked up with subtle energy in the form of A Simple Beautiful Truth, which continues for a few songs and gently fluctuates over the rest of the album. From start to finish Present Tense feels like an album should: it has peaks and troughs, energy and lethargy, and the feeling that it all came from the same place and the same root idea. It manages the feat that all albums should aspire to: it all sounds similar, but by no means the same; the songs are different enough to be entertaining but share a similarity that make them feel like parts of a whole. 11 March 2014 19 www.thegaudie.co.uk The Gaudie “From start to finish Present Tense feels like an album should: it has peaks and troughs, energy and lethargy “ Protest Songs Top 5 1 Work-Rest-Play-Die, Crass. The top position goes to the dissenting anarchopunk band Crass, less for craftsmanship than for expressing intense discontent with nothing more than guitars, piss and vinegar. Work, Rest, Play, Die mocks the system which forces us into submission and asks us to question the basic structure of our day to day lives. 2 A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall, Bob Dylan. Written as a response to the Cuban Missile Crisis, this song articulates political frustration with unique and powerful poetic expression. Likened to Modernist poetry, here Dylan’s lyrics become both acutely topical and artistically relevant. 3 Chumbawamba, Liberation. While Chumbawamba did arguably lose their way later in their career, their earlier songs were more representative of their punk roots. Liberation uncovers the endless cycle of quelled revolution and encourages unity in the face of the enforced ‘moral stances and policies’ pushed upon us by the powers that be. 4 Straight to Hell, The Clash. Whilst consistently political throughout their career, this song is particularly pertinent. Regarding both domestic and global injustice, singer Joe Strummer comments on the devastating unemployment which occurred as a result of steel mill closures in Northern England and the abandonment of children fathered by American soldiers in Vietnam. 5 Little Boxes, Pete Seeger. Written by Malvina Reynolds in 1962, this song is a political satire which encapsulates the attitude of middle class suburban America in under two minutes. An opposition to conformity and the materialistic aspirations of the time, this song is a classic which has become synonymous with Seeger’s life as a political activist. By Elizabeth Ozolins Music It has been claimed to be the ‘Most Anticipated Album of the Year’ from the ‘Man of the Year’, no less! Quincy, or Schoolboy Q to those less affiliated with the Southern Californian rapper, has let loose another outstanding album, ‘Oxymoron’. Rumours started to spread on twitter late last year that former Top Dawg Entertainment rapper/producer was starting to compile one of his best albums so far. Perhaps not on the same level of Kendrick Lamar… But nonetheless Q displays emotion, flair and lyrical genius throughout his album. It is widely accepted that certain rappers produce albums displaying their fame and wealth without a sub-textual layer of emotion, but regardless of the state that many people see Schoolboy Q in interviews, obviously ‘Oxymoron’ is a channel through which Quincy thanks friends, family and fans for his fame. Attempting to remain neutral for a moment, ‘Oxymoron’ is a great album, if you can get passed the profanity and slightly blur the lines of what is and is not respectful in terms of attitudes towards women. Great things can be expected for this album, perhaps a few nominations, perhaps a few live performances and all of this on top of a three month tour beginning at the start of March and swinging by Glasgow on 28 May. For anyone looking to expand their musical library, Schoolboy Q’s album along with his old album ‘Habits and Contradictions’ is great to chill out to for a few hours. Collaborating with huge names such as A$AP Rocky, Korrupt, and fellow TDE associates Jay Rock and Kendrick Lamar, songs such as ‘Hell of a Night’, ‘Break the Bank’ and ‘Gangsta’ will have you shouting Yawk! Oxymoron Schoolboy Q ALBUM RELEASE: 25 FEBRUARY 2014 By Danny Strasser ‘Atlas’ the third helping from the New Jersey band Real Estate, maintains the high standards achieved on their previous albums. However, it offers no true progression from the melodic guitar arrangements that blessed their earlier work. The LP opens with ‘Had to Hear’; at just under five minutes in duration it is a suitable introduction and gives the listener a clear sense of what is yet to come. In terms of commercial value, track three ‘Talking Backwards’, offers a significant majority. The song is possessed with a reassuring and delicate riff throughout which is complimented by the subtle vocal tones in between and underneath. This riff aptly follows the chorus and each time it does so the appeal of the song, along with its right to remain stuck in one’s head for the day, increases. It is no wonder why this was picked as the leading single to accompany the LP. Fast forwarding to the midway point of the album, the track ‘Crime’ offers a blend of unconventional melodies in the chorus partnered with lyrics concerning anxiety, which epitomise the album as a whole. Atlas closes with a personal favourite of mine in ‘Navigator’. The graceful guitar arrangements dominate this song and along with the vocals an idea of a peaceful goodbye, devoid of any angst and uncertainty is portrayed. Despite offering a range of contrasting and contradicting points throughout the album, it falters in its lack of distinct direction. The hypnotic laid back nature to lead singer Martin Courtney’s voice, accompanied with the hallucinatory lead guitar consistent throughout, delivers no real standout points of versatility in the LP. Atlas Real Estate ALBUM RELEASE: 3 MARCH 2014 By Calum Busby Present Tense Wild Beast ALBUM RELEASE: 3 MARCH 2014 By Michael Cameron REVIEWS When Timberlake’s ‘20/20’ dropped last year, people called it the beginning of a pop revolution, the acceptance of indie sensibilities that the genre direly needed to regain relevance. So when Pharrell, propelled to heights he could only have dreamed of in N.E.R.D following his Daft Punk collaboration, follows in Justin’s footsteps we should expect great things. But even without setting our expectations so high ‘Girl’ remains underwhelming. While it’s impossible to not compare this to ‘20/20’ – and that we’re reminded of one of the most important albums of last year is a positive in itself – it just doesn’t reach the same heights. It certainly does more than you would expect of pop at large, but it turns out that fleshing out the extended track lengths with variations on the primary instrumental isn’t necessarily as good an idea as you might think. The flimsiness of some of the concepts given a spin here smacks more of replicating the current trend than real creativity. Credit to Pharrell, he was obviously trying with the minute-long interlude of ocean sounds on ‘Lost Queen’, but in practice it accomplishes little. Despite its effort and pretence to be innovative, interesting and worthy of the pop revolution, ‘Girl’ ultimately proves bland. “The flimsiness of some of the concepts given a spin here smacks more of replicating the current trend than real creativity.” Girl Pharrell Williams ALBUM RELEASE: 3 MARCH 2014 By Scott Reid ‘Oxymoron’ is a great album, if you can get passed the profanity and slightly blur the lines of what is and is not respectful in terms of attitudes towards women.” “Despite offering a range of contrasting and contradicting points throughout the album, it falters in its lack of distinct direction.” Arts

‘Non-Stop’ is a new action thriller about troubled air marshal Bill Marks (Neeson) who during a routine flight from New York to London begins to receive texts from an unknown source which states that unless $150 million is transferred into a certain bank account, a passenger will die every 20 minutes. Liam Neeson should be admired as in recent years he has brought a degree of seriousness to films that depict tough, ageing hard man characters. With others actors such as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone playing similar roles, this genre of filmmaking quickly descends into a sort of selfparody that is easy to lampoon. The film does begin strongly, with the introduction of Neeson guzzling down a mixture of coffee and whisky. Here is a man on the brink of self-destruction, struggling with his personal demons. Also, once the action does begin, there are decent moments of tension and the viewer is left wondering how all this will eventually come together. However, fans of Neeson’s ‘Taken’, who this film is aimed at, will ultimately be left disappointed. The film would have been better if the viewer had been made more aware of Bill’s inner torments and wasn’t made so ambiguous. Costars Julianne Moore and recent Academy Award Winner Lupita Nyong’o are given very little screen time and it seems as if the director, Jaume Collet-Serra, has almost forgotten they were involved. The final act proves utterly preposterous and the film does suffer from a poor script. Overall, not a bad film, just not a very good one either. Having become single a few days before Valentine’s Day, the fourteenth of February meant one thing and one thing only to me – the full release of House of Cards season two. House of Cards is a Netflix remake of a classic British series about political manipulation and corruption, with the American incarnation providing an A-list Hollywood cast including Kevin Spacey (American Beauty) and Robin Wright (Forrest Gump). Like the first series, the second was released thirteen episodes at once, encouraging obsession and discouraging the changing of underwear. Like many, I watched every episode before the weekend was over and was in awe of what is fast becoming one of the greatest series of our generation. We pick up where we left off with Francis being officially sworn in as Vice-President of the United States and becoming, in his own words, the second most powerful man in the free world. The most powerful man, according to Francis, is Raymond Tusk who we were introduced to briefly at the end of series one: an intrinsically individualist business magnate and the President’s favoured advisor. Francis’ task is to make his voice resonate louder with the President than Tusk’s and absorb the role of President using his own inherent influence. Francis continues in his role as the Shakespearean villain in this series. Writer Beau Willimon has clearly borrowed heavily from the characterisation of Iago (from Othello) and Richard III (from Richard III) and this season is, most definitely, the winter of Francis’ discontent. His relationship with Zoe Barnes, the petite, purposeful reporter, falls apart and she and her Slugline sidekicks are deemed to know too much. As Francis says ‘every kitten grows up to be a cat’ and if Zoe brandishes her claws, they will draw blood. She and her colleagues must be destroyed. To bring his ambition to fruition, Francis must surround himself with people he can trust. Catherine Durant remains a loyal and profitable ally but his relationship with Linda Vasquez diminishes and she resigns. With Francis departing as whip to become ‘VP’, his successor is another powerful woman, easily manipulated to ensure his own success: Jackie Sharp. Thus, Francis’s devastating political trinity is complete again for another assault on the White House. One of the key differences between series one and series two is the role of Claire. Claire was at times a liability to Francis in the first series. It was her selfishness that lost Peter Russo the Watershed bill and, one might argue, his life. However, in series two Claire takes the mantle of the modern Lady MacBeth: ruthless and determined. If we didn’t grasp her barbarous nature last series when she fired an entire staff without blinking an eye, round two sees her blackmailing the poor, pregnant Gillian into dropping her wrongful termination lawsuit and making her take over as head of the Clean Water Initiative. Her coldly impregnable and seemingly earnest exterior compliments her husband’s exaggerated Southern gregariousness perfectly and moulds them into the archetypal power couple. Long live the Underwoods. With Peter Russo’s murder at the tail end of series one, the shock threshold was set very high in House of Cards. I cannot recommend highly enough that you watch the second series, but don’t go in expecting light entertainment. 20 The Gaudie 11 March 2014 www.thegaudie.co.uk “Liam Neeson should be admired as in recent years he has brought a degree of seriousness to films that depict tough, ageing hard man characters. Non-Stop STARRING: LIAM NEESON, JULIANNE MOORE, MICHELLE DOCKERY By Michael Clark ‘The Monuments Men’ tells the story of a group assembled by Frank Stokes (Clooney) who are assigned the task of finding and saving pieces of art and other items regarded as culturally significant during the course of World War Two. Stokes and his team must recover these priceless artefacts and return them to their rightful place before being obliterated by the Nazis. ‘The Monuments Men’ can never really decide if it wants to be a serious, melancholic film about the horrors of war or a sort of comedic art heist caper movie. The film does not really know where it is going in terms of tone. ‘The Monuments Men’ does seem old fashioned, but not in a good way. It seems old fashioned in a stiff, creaky way, as opposed to a classic, nostalgic way. Due to the considerable amount of big names in the film, the viewer does get the sense that Clooney (who also directed the film) is desperately trying to give each actor an equal amount of screen time and lines. This gives The Monuments Men a terribly episodic feel to it. There is also a problem with some of the casting. Actors such as George Clooney and Matt Damon seem believable as learned individuals, but others such as Bill Murray and John Goodman are not as convincing. They just do not seem credible playing erudite, cultured academics to the viewer. It is a shame because ‘The Monuments Men’ does have a brilliant story to tell, a story of enormous magnitude, but fails to deliver it in a stirring and exhilarating way. The Monuments Men STARRING: GEORGE CLOONEY, MATT DAMON, CATE BLANCHETT By Michael Clark As the anniversary of the birth of famed American writer John Steinbeck, winner of 1962 Nobel Prize in Literature, once again passes us by, the timing for a look back on his renowned novella, Of Mice and Men, seems perfect. While it has been the bane of many a high school student over the years, its reputation as an excellent text for teaching is well founded due to its excellent characterisation and the interplay of its abundant themes. Unlike so many pieces of classic literature, Of Mice and Men has not been so widely adapted. Notably, it did inspire a moderately successful film in 1993 starring John Malkovich and Gary Sinise. Numerous stage productions have also been made over the years, with the most recent opening on Broadway on 19 March with stars James Franco and Chris O’Dowd in the leading roles. The novella’s title reveals much of the text’s content. The meek and the strong are juxtaposed, and yet their fates, it seems, do not differ greatly. The best-laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men Gang aft agley An lae’e us nought but grief an’ pain For promis’d joy! These words, taken from Robert Burns’ poem To a Mouse, provide not only the title, but also the core themes of the novella. The crux of the text’s drama lies in its characters’ pursuit of their dreams, but as noted by The Bard himself, such plans often go awry. As literary critic Thomas Scarseth notes concerning Of Mice and Men’s harsh representation of reality: “Steinbeck’s literary point is that this is true to life”. George and Lennie, the central characters, chase the fantasy of settling on their own land one day. As the plot progresses, other characters get caught up in this pursuit of the American Dream even though many are sceptical of the opportunity for such success. Doubt, loneliness and oppression shadow the characters’ aspirations from the novella’s outset and yet it is hope that truly supplies the human element to this reading experience. To borrow from Scarseth again, it can be said that “In true great literature the pain of Life is transmuted into the beauty of Art”. Steinbeck’s work is brutal, but honest. He does not allow himself to shy away from the truth as to do so would be a disservice to art. Only through observing human nature at its worst can we appreciate it in its entirety. By showing the fragility of hope Steinbeck also emphasises the tragic nature of the human condition: to hope is to be human, but to hope is also to invite in pain. By Andrew Parker Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck Film House of Cards: Season 2 TV SERIES, NETFLIX CREATOR: BEAU WILLIMON By Ryan James Macready TV “In true great literature the pain of Life is transmuted into the beauty of Art” Arts

11 March 2014 21 Listings [email protected] The Gaudie Editor: Josiah Bircham Theatre Music Events London Percussion Cowdray Hall Thursday, 13 March 2014 7:30pm Entry: £8 A percussion quartet consisting of Eddy Hackett, Sarah Mason, Barnaby Archer and Sacha Johnson, London Percussion will be performing Paul Lansky’s Threads, David Lang’s So-called Laws of Nature and Steve Reich’s Mallet Quartet. Here’s something to go to if you’re looking for something a bit different. Limehouse Lizzy The Lemon Tree Friday, 14 March 2014 Doors 7.30pm £16.50 inc. b.f. Limehouse Lizzy have been officially named one of the hardest working acts in the UK, along with some of the country’s biggest & most popular performers. Accredited for their live shows by the Performing Rights Society, the band received their award from PRS Chairman and Ivor Novello award-winning songwriter (who wrote songs for Elvis Presley, Ray Charles and Tom Jones) Guy Fletcher OBE. Their show promises to be an actionpacked pyrotechnic-fuelled and explosive performance, keeping the spirit of Celtic rock icon Philip Lynott and his band Thin Lizzy alive. The Wanted AECC Saturday, 15 March 2014 Doors 6.30pm £28.25 & £37.86 inc. b.f. The Wanted, an English-Irish boy band consisting of members Max George, Siva Kaneswaran, Jay McGuiness, Tom Parker and Nathan Sykes, famous for their hits “All Time Low” and “Glad You Came” will be playing at the AECC as a part of their farewell tour as the band are due to split up. This show cannot be missed for all teenage girls and those who like the band ‘ironically’. Dr Feelgood The Lemon Tree Saturday, 15 March 2014 Doors 8pm £17.60 inc. b.f. Formed on Canvey Island in Essex in the early 1970s, Dr. Feelgood is one of the most popular and exciting live rhythm and blues acts in the world. Their album Stupidity immediately went to the number one position in the U.K. charts in 1976 and they’ve been popular ever since, enjoying global success with a string of hits, including ‘See You Later Alligator,’ which gave the group their first gold record. The band continues to tour extensively throughout the World and enjoy a loyal following at home and abroad. Around the World in Music Music Hall Sunday, 16 March 2014 2.30pm £11 inc. b.f. If you’re looking for something a bit more local, this is the show for you. It is a spectacular musical journey with captivating performances by an amazing array of local talent, including pupils from schools in the city and shire and the Culter Pipe Band. The proceeds from this charity concert, which has been organised by Westhill and District Rotary Club, will go to support local, national, and international causes. Blazin’ Fiddles The Lemon Tree Tuesday, 18 March 2014 Doors 8pm £16.50 inc. bf Quite possibly the most popular contemporary fiddle players from the Highlands and Islands of Scotland, the award winning Blazin’ Fiddles mix violin with keyboard and guitar arrangements, blending solo and ensemble sets with the occasional insightful tale, to make exciting and innovative arrangements. Having played remote village halls to the BBC Proms at the Royal Albert Hall, fiddlers Bruce Macgregor, Iain Macfarlane, Allan Henderson and Jenna Reid joined by Anna Massie on guitar/fiddle and Angus Lyon on keyboard deliver an exciting evening for all. University of Aberdeen Symphony Orchestra St. Andrew’s Cathedral Thursday, 20 March 2014 7:30pm £8 This exciting concert features two performances by the winners of the 2013 University of Aberdeen Concerto Competition. Conducted by Christopher Gray and playing Aaron Copland’s Clarinet Concerto, Sergei Rachmaninoff’s Symphonic Dances and Eugène Goossens’s Concerto for Oboe the evening promises to be a display of musical talent. Wendy Hoose The Lemon Tree Thursday, 10 March 2014 7.00pm £13.20 inc. b.f. The two creative forces of Birds of Paradise & Random Accomplice have finally come together to put on a play! Hurrah! How wonderful. That play is Wendy Hoose. Apparently it’s is about two twenty year olds searching for love in all the wrong places. At least that’s what I’ve been told. You really won’t know until you’ve actually gone to it- so go to it and find out. The production contains strong language and scenes of a sexual nature. In the comedic style of the production, Wendy Hoose includes audio description, BSL and animated surtitles. A Play, a Pie and a Pint: Auntie Agatha Comes To Tea The Lemon Tree Tuesday, 25 March 2014 6.00pm (5.00pm for pie) £11.00 inc. b.f. Damien and Martin are brothers who do not see very much of their elderly Aunt Agatha. This absolute travesty comes to some sort of farcical and entertaining conclusion that involves an attempted poisoning and several actors probably standing on a stage. Or at least, the description on the website promises this, obviously, not being able to predict exactly what will happen I can’t tell you, but I’m sure it’ll be an entertaining experience. Also, the ticket comes with a pie and pint, so if the description didn’t appeal to you, hopefully that will. Student Festival Zombie Run Butchart Wednesday, 12 March 2014 12.30pm – 4.00pm £3.00 It’s the Zombie Run! Wonderful. This event is an apocalyptic simulation with the ultimate goal of survival. It’s three hours long and involves a lot of escaping from zombies around the University campus. There are prizes for best zombie and other achievements, and if that’s not incentive enough to come along I don’t know what is. There are a finite number of tickets, so if you want to attend you should buy tickets through AUSA as soon as possible. Aberdeen University Business Ball 2014 Elphinstone Hall Saturday, 22 March 2014 6.30pm-11.59pm £40.00 This year The University of Aberdeen Business Ball will be held in Elphinstone Hall on Saturday March 22! The iconic setting will serve to compliment a drinks reception (with a cellist (cello-player (large violin player), professional photography, threecourse sit-down meal, and a Ceilidh. The ball is open to students and alumni from all degree disciplines. As of the week beginning March 3, you can purchase tickets from our stalls in Butchart/The Hub. Philosophy Society Discussion Night: How do we apply knowledge? The Blue Lamp Wednesday, 12 March 2014 7.30pm-11.59pm Free Entry Epistemology is the study of belief, truth, knowledge, and rationality, I’m told. This event will therefore be jam packed with epistemology. Come and think about how we know anything at all. Is it through learning and education, through our social environments, or maybe preprogrammed in our genetics? When we know a certain thing, how do we know that we know it, and how do we know we are right about it - where does knowledge lie? Questions! So come down to the Blue Lamp and see if you can come away more knowledgeable about these matters! Better Together Aberdeen present: Alistair Carmichael New Kings Wednesday, 12 March 2014 7.00 Free Entry Better Together Aberdeen, the cross party, all party and no party campaign, to keep Scotland a strong and proud part of the United Kingdom, would like to invite you to a speech with Rt. Hon. Alistair Carmichael Secretary of State for Scotland. On the 12th of March he will be joining us at the University of Aberdeen to make the case for Scotland remaining a strong part of the United Kingdom. So whether you support the union or are still undecided how to vote in the upcoming referendum, come along to find out more about the benefits of the union and the positive vision for the future of Scotland. Yes Aberdeen present: Undecided about the Referendum? Macrobert Friday, 28 March 2014 7.30pm Free Entry Yes Aberdeen, the other cross party, all party and no party campaign, to make Scotland a strong and proud country, independent of the United Kingdom, would like to invite you to a talk from four speakers including the co-convenor of the Scottish Green Party, who will make the case for a yes vote then take questions from the audience. So whether you support independence or are still undecided how to vote in the upcoming referendum, come along to find out more about the benefits of the independence and the positive vision for the future of Scotland. Debater Old Senate Room There are several upcoming events for University Aberdeen Debater: Thursday 13 March 7.00pm This house believes that states in the developing world should invest in sex tourism (in association with Stop the Traffik Society) Thursday 20 March 7.00pm This house believes that multiculturalism has been a success. Thursday 27 March 7.00pm AUSA debate For more information, find us on facebook (University of Aberdeen Debater), or email us at debater@ abdn.ac.uk, or in person at any of our events!

22 11 March 2014 [email protected] The Gaudie Sport Aberdeen pulls out strong display at Scottish Universities Indoor Cricket Edward Steinson reviews Aberdeen’s recent performance at the Scottish Indoors in the run up to the main outdoor season As both Aberdeen University Cricket representative teams congregated at the Aberdeen Sports Village earlier last month, neither the 1st team nor the 2nd could have predicted the rollercoaster ride that became the Scottish Universities Indoor Tournament. With both teams having qualified earlier in the year to reach the crucial knockout stages, Aberdeen had already reached their target of displaying their strength in depth for the coming outdoor season. The day began with Aberdeen’s 1st team being defeated by a strong Edinburgh outfit. Despite Edin- burgh reaching a total of 157, there were positive performances from Chris Macfarlane and Harry Map- plebeck, who rose to the occasion nicely by containing what was always going to be a potent Edinburgh batting line-up. However, it was in the batting that Aberdeen showed significant grit and determination to make a game of it. Eddie Steinson and Nicholas Keydon got Aberdeen off to a steady start, crucially neither batsman gave their wicket away cheaply, with Steinson going on to make a useful 32. This opening partnership gave license to Harry Mapplebeck who scored a quite scintillating 64 not out to bring Aberdeen within eight runs of their opponents. The 2nd team were drawn in the same pool as the 1st team, which triggered an unbelievable chain of events as a tiring Edinburgh were held by Aberdeens 2nd team to a mere 113. Excellent bowling from Richard Adams and Assad Ata meant that Fraser Godsman’s boys went into their innings with confidence. It was left to the experience of Sam Sykes and Greig Ritchie to see the 2nd team home, an innings which saw Sykes take the attack to the Edinburgh bowlers and complete the seemingly impossible in claiming victory. This meant an Aberdeen side was guaranteed a place in the final. The 1st team had to win by a margin of 4 runs or more, while the 2nd’s came into the game full of confidence knowing that victory would see them through. Godsman won the toss against Fergus Whatley, sending Aberdeen’s 1st team in to bat. The 1st’s hit an impressive total of 161. Godsman rallied his men however and ensured the 2nd’s did not give up. Ewan Stewart retired on 25, with contributions from Sykes again and Richard Adams with the bat meant that the 2nd team were still in with a shout. The total proved too much however, and Godsman, usually known for his bowling, was left to attempt to chase down the final 32 runs, a feat that remained out of his reach, and saw Aberdeen University’s 1st team through to the final. The final was set up, Aberdeen were to play Strathclyde. Having already over-achieved there was no reason for Aberdeen to fear, and they went into the game know- ing that if things went their way an upset could be on the cards. Sadly, however, Aberdeen didn’t have the strength to pull through one final game. Some excellent field plac- ings and great bowling meant that despite limiting Strathclyde to 137, Aberdeen just could not find the runs. Steinson retired for the 3rd game in a row, but ultimately his slow start meant that the rest of the team were playing catch-up. Wickets began to tumble and Aberdeen could only respond with a mere 80 runs. This is not the last we will hear of these teams, with both the 1st team and the 2nd team showing that this year, they might just be able to bring home some silverware for the first time since 2009. Photo/ Andrew Menage (Flickr) Men’s Rugby 3rd XV secure league title with cagey win Stuart Bill reviews the Men’s Rugby 3rd XV’s performance that saw them declared Division 3A champions following a hard-fought 17-10 victory over Glasgow Caledonian 1st XV Wednesday’s game promised to be a tense affair as the last time the 3rd XV played GCU was back in October, when they narrowly lost 19-12 at GCU’s Nethercraigs Sports Complex, the 3rd XV’s only league loss to date. Glasgow’s pre-match huddle was a fiery one, with talk solely centred on bridging the six-point gap Aberdeen had built over recent months and with that postponing any Aberdeen title-winning celebrations on King’s come the final whistle. The early periods of the encounter were played in the middle of the park with both sides keen to start on a solid footing. GCU stuttered at the early line-outs with AU locks Blair Sangster and James Gray doing particularly well in disrupting opposition ball. This gave the AU backline the platform to probe GCU with some incisive back-play, with inside centre Scott Sloan making inroads in the GCU defence with a couple of crash balls. As the game entered the second quarter, AU forwards began to assert some dominance in the pack battle, with number eight, Isaac Porter, doing well to steer some well-worked driving mauls in GCU’s 22. GCU’s poor kicking out of hand saw AU’s driving maul continue to be a potent weapon and it lead to the game’s first try when Sangster touched down in the corner. Fly-half Jonny Gilfillan opened his account with a superb conversion from the near-side touchline to put AU 7-0 up after 20 minutes. GCU came back by putting numerous phases together; however, the odd lacklustre pass prevented them from making any serious threats to the scoreboard. A 40mpenalty attempt from GCU’s flyhalf was to fall wide and short of the target. AU sought to take ad- vantage of GCU’s lack of incisive- ness when Porter broke off a scrum in mid-field and went on a dazzling run. His offload landed in scrumhalf Chris Gilfillan’s hands but his pass to Tripney went awry. With the gain in territory, AU were keen to extend their lead before half-time. The referee awarded AU the chance when the Glasgow tight-head failed to release the ball. Jonny Gilfillan duly converted the penalty with aplomb. The third quarter turned out to be something of a lull period, with Glasgow putting numerous grubber kicks behind the AU defence in an attempt to find the try that would set the game alight. However, AU’s back three swept up any loose ball with relative ease. GCU consequently settled for three points on the hour mark, when AU were guilty of holding on in front of the posts. With the game entering the final 20 minutes, AU pushed for another try, which would have perhaps sealed the result. GCU were strong in defending at close quarters and repelled the AU pack’s pick and go approach. AU Captain and hooker, Angus Lutton, was perhaps unlucky to be held up twice in the space of two minutes. Despite this, AU continued to pressure GCU’s line. Their perseverance was eventually rewarded, when Tripney scored in the corner after the backs exploited a twoman overlap by putting the ball through hands. The conversion attempt dissected the uprights, leaving the score at 17-3. The game was no foregone conclusion just yet however. GCU ruffled AU’s feathers when their centre took Chris Gilfillan high, sparking a slight kerfuffle and a dressing down for both sides from the referee. AU’s penalty was reversed, which allowed GCU to venture into AU territory. GCU’s blind-side flanker was to score around the posts, meaning the conversion was a formality. The match was now a one-score game with minutes to go. GCU continued to push for a match-winning try. However their runners were met by AU’s defensive wall, spearheaded by Douglas McMillan and Euan Roger. The game drew to an end when AU claimed a turnover as GCU ran out of ideas. The ball was booted off the park and AU were now allowed to celebrate becoming Division champions. 3rd XV captain, Angus Lutton, was full of praise for his troops following the result: “It feels great to have won the league. I thought all the boys played really well and everyone stuck in to the end in what turned out to be a tight game.” A fantastic feat that added to Aberdeen’s super sporting week. Photo/ Stuart Bill

11 March 2014 The Gaudie 23 www.thegaudie.co.uk Two weeks ago saw the SSS Ar- chery Indoor Championships hosted by ASV. The day was a tough affair with close competition in many of the divisions, the round shot was a Portsmouth: 60 arrows at 20 yards with a maximum score of 600. Aberdeen came away successful with a silver medal for the Senior Recurve Team of Rebekah Tipping, Simon Garrett, Veronique Heijnsbroek and Amy Bode. In the individual competition, our senior recurve archers excelled: Rebekah who has been shooting for five months on the Scottish National Squad, shot the highest recurve score of the day with 568 to take the gold medal ahead of team mate and fellow squad member Veronique who scored 543. Elsewhere, the gents’ competition was closer. Simon Garrett shot 566, just snatching the gold medal. Gents barebow had two medallists: silver for Michal Ivanic and bronze for Iain Stirling. Morag Douglas fought a tough competition in ladies barebow for a silver medal. Archery Fencing Late February saw the women’s fencing team beat Imperial 128- 126 to reach the semi-final of the BUCS Championship. The semifinal is away to Cambridge on Wednesday 12 March. Volleyball The Men’s Volleyball 1st team have made it to the semi-finals of BUCS Trophy league after a walkover against Lancaster last week. Their next game will be against Leeds Met Carnegie this Wednesday at 13:00. A win would see the 1st’s equal last year’s success when they finished as Trophy runnersup. BUCS Update Following last Wednesday’s round of BUCS action, Aberdeen have secured 324 wins so far this season, with 534 defeats and 50 draws, making their win rate 36%. Aberdeen has climbed one place to 39th, just behind York and Brighton. Whilst in the Scottish standings, AU remains in 5th place but has closed the gap with Glasgow University. As Aberdeen enters the latter stages of the BUCS season, some work is left to do in order to beat last year’s 33rd place finish. Fencing, Table Tennis and Volleyball remain the University’s top three BUCS performers, with Rugby Union sneaking into AU’s top six performers. Check out http:// www.bucs.org.uk/homepage.asp for more details. In other news... Sport University of Aberdeen Economics graduate and Glasgow 2014 hopeful Stephen Dunlop is aiming to be selected for the 100m Relay Team together with fellow Aberdeen University student Tom Holligan. Gaudie Sport sat down with Stephen to discuss why representing Scotland at the XX Commonwealth Games is a big dream of his. Growing up, Stephen played football and tennis but it was not until 2010 when he found his passion and begun competing in athletics. “I liked the local track and realised I was pretty quick so I decided to use my talent,” he says. It has been a successful indoor season for Stephen and his fellow University of Aberdeen athletes Tom Holligan and Zoey Clark, who all train with Eddie McKenna as their lead coach. At the Scottish Universities Indoor Championships, Stephen took home Gold and a championship record in 60m as well as securing silver in 200m. When asked about his personal highlight of the season, there is only one race in his mind: “My highlight was running at the Glasgow International Match. It was great to be given the chance to run at the Emirates Arena, in front of a big crowd and competing against the big guys. It’s an experience I’ll always treasure.” As the selection for Scotland’s 4x100m Relay Team for the Com- monwealth Games draws closer, Stephen is preparing himself for the opportunity of a lifetime: “It’s a great opportunity to compete at a major championship in my hometown. To represent Scot- land at the Commonwealth Games would be out of this world.” The Glasgow 2014 Games are opening up doors to young ath- letes all over Scotland. 20-yearold Laura Muir, who is studying veterinary medicine at the University of Glasgow, is the third fastest woman this year over both 800m and 1500m. “I look up to a lot of runners that have broken through recently,” Stephen says, “Laura Muir is up there with the best in the world and she isn’t afraid of the big guys. She knows what she can do and just goes out there and performs.” For Stephen athletics is a passion but not something he plans to pursue full-time: “You have got to be prepared for the future, that is why I am planning to do a Masters in Economics next year. It is important to not let your sport be the be all and end all. Scottish swimmer David Carry once told us that swimming used to be 80% of his life and a bad day at training would mean his whole day was ruined. Later on he shifted focus towards friends and other interests and found a much healthier balance.” Stephen Dunlop is currently training for two upcoming competitions in Florida as well as for the BUCS Outdoor Championships and Loughborough International, which forms part of the qualification for the Glasgow 2014 Games. For more information regarding the Glasgow 2014 Games visit http://www.glasgow2014.com/ Photo/ Bobby Gavin Far Left Tom Holligan / Far Right Stephen Dunlop Abdn Snow complete yet another successful French ski trip Klaus Snow reports on how Abdn Snow’s recent visit to the French Alps fared both on and off the slopes For a considerable number of students at Aberdeen, every year follows a similar format: start uni; nights out; take exams; nights out; take more exams and finish for summer. However, those in the ski club take a different route as Abdn Snow host an annual excursion to France to soften the blow left on our fragile minds from the January exam period. Back in January, following a 26- hour coach journey, Abdn Snow arrived in Les Deux Alpes, France, in the early hours of morning. After a bit of wading through the freshly fallen powder we made it to our rooms and settled down for the night. With the knowledge that a fresh blanket of snow had fallen during the twilight hours, trippers were eager to hit the slopes. The week takes a pretty stand- ard format, people awake, recount tales of the night before and then drag themselves onto a ski lift. Come 3 o’clock the whole club assembles at Pano Bar for après and dancing on tables, trying to forget about the inevitable workload upon returning to our marvelous faculty of education. Evening antics begin the same way every year. Trippers are given a free t-shirt as part of their holiday package and it is a well-known fact that this t-shirt will be in your possession for less than 24 hours before it resembles a stringlet. The reason for this is the club’s first theme, ‘holiday tee night’. Each night offers a different fan- cy dress – a true opportunity for fellow trippers to show off their creativity. Glow sticks and tie-dye t-shirts were abundant during the ‘acid rave’ evening. Fur coats and fake $100 bills littered the floor of the club for the ‘GTA’ theme. ‘Under the sea’ night was dominated by Spongebob Squarepants wannabes. The final evening’s theme was ‘fox hunting’, and in no way were any animals harmed during the evening’s affairs. This theme is interesting as it distinguishes each year from one another. This year saw the first years become foxes, the second years become foliage, the third years become dogs, the fourth years become horses and members of the snow committee become hunters. This theme is particularly hilarious when one sees the priceless look on the faces of the locals when we turn up to the club dressed in our respective outfits. All in all, Abdn Snow managed to get multiple days of fresh pow- der, no broken bones, and minimal damage to the resort. Therefore, pat yourselves on the back and see you again next year! For those who are interested in going on ABDN Snow’s 2015 ski trip, we run the trip once a year around January time, base price for 2014 was £379 and included a lift pass, return travel and a week’s accommodation. See you next year. Photo/ Studio Brussel Road to the Commonwealth Games by Josefine Björkqvist Stephen Dunlop Event: 4x100 relay

F1’s best overtakes of 2013 http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/ formula1/25476335 Video of the Week 24 11 March 2014 Sport [email protected] The Gaudie Editor: Stuart Bill The week in tweets @KearneyRob – the Irish fullback on the record-breaking centre’s fashion sense - So what’s the verdict on @ BrianODriscoll new Paddy cap?! @MariaSharapova - the Russian tennis star celebrates World Tennis day last week - Love this sport with a passion!! #WorldTennisDay @ElenaBaltacha – the retired GB tennis player reveals that she has liver cancer - I have some news to share with you… @JensonButton - counts down the days until the F1 2014-15 season commences in Australia 8days until I get strapped into the MP4-29 in Melbourne 2 see what she’s really made of. Exciting times ahead 4 all F1 fans. #McLaren #JB22 @PaulLawriegolf - on golf running in the family - My wee loon @MLawrie7 been chosen to represent scotland under 16s. Two very proud parents well done pal. @evemuirhead – the GB curler looks forward to her time in Aberdeen – Looking forward to getting the shoes & thermals back on to play in the #ScottishMixed champs in Aberdeen! #timetosweep #2gameday #banter @Mo_Farah - is training hard ahead of a busy race scheldule– Still working hard in Kenya....!! 2 more weeks till New York...!! #onemomile Robert Gordon retain Aberdeen Universities’ Boat Race title Arttu Närhi reviews the 2014 Aberdeen Asset Management Universities’ Boat Race that took place on Saturday 1 March After claiming victory in the Alumni and Seniors Team races, RGU retained their Boat Race championship title on Saturday. With a record outpouring of spectators and supporters for both sides, the sunny afternoon provided a thrilling display of sportsmanship as the old course record was broken by both senior teams. RGU, who were captained by Gillian Paterson, have now completed a veritable hat trick. “There are no words to describe how happy I am with the crew and their performance, it’s just fantastic! I can’t get over the fact that RGU has now won three races in a row. We’ve won every single year I’ve been at university – I think I’m their lucky charm! Normally one crew pushes ahead at the start but we were literally neck and neck for the early stages, it was quite tense for a while. Once we passed under the bridge RGU managed to pull ahead and we kept our lead until the finish line. AU were re- ally strong, they put in a very solid performance. When we began pulling ahead Aberdeen put up a great challenge but I guess RGU just had the stronger team.” She also added that “the turnout and support has been huge for both universities which is great to see.” RGU set the new course record at 7:47.2, over 13 seconds faster than the previous record. With the University of Aberdeen finishing in 7:54.7 and smashing the old record themselves, it was undoubtedly one of the greatest and most exciting races in a long time. Aberdeen University Row- ing Captain, Lauren Cammaert, warmly congratulated her oppo- nent, admitting that RGU’s team was the stronger one on Saturday. “It’s never easy to lose but we did the best we could. The crew were amazing – the race went to plan, we took a good line but RGU were just the faster team on the day. We did break a course record, which is obviously really good and I think this just goes to show how much harder the crews are working year on year. I’m really happy that so many people came down to support us, it really makes a difference to hear them screaming as we’re going under the suspension bridge – you can the feel the whole boat pick up immediately.” Race day also saw Robert Gordon University win the Alumni race by two and a half lengths in a time of eight minutes and 15 seconds. Adam Downie, a rower for the Alumni team and a former Sport President commented: “We were very close right until the Railroad bridge, where RGU gained the advantage on the second inside corner. RGU is a top class opponent. Since our team comprised of much more recent alumni than theirs, I am proud of the fight we managed to put up. It is not easy to go up against a team with a ‘pedigree’ like RGU’s this year.” The Universities’ second crew boat race was won by Aberdeen University with a time of two min- utes and 18 seconds. The Evening Express won the media challenge cup in a time of one minute and 20 seconds, beating Original FM by three lengths. They raced 300m in coxed ‘tub’ pairs for the media challenge cup. For the current Sport President, Marc McCorkell, Saturday’s race was the fifth he had attended but the first one as president. “This year has definitely been the biggest year in terms of support for both teams. The publicity buildup on platforms such as Facebook and Twitter has been beyond comparison too, which is very nice to see. Also, a record number of University staff have arrived to show their support to the team, so we are very happy with the turnout this year,” Marc says as he assesses the large crowd around us. “This event is very exciting as it is the first varsity competition of the year for us, and is a good foundation to the up-andcoming Granite City Challenge against many more RGU teams. I’m very happy that we have a good working relationship with the RGU Sports Union to arrange competitions such as these.” The public turnout definitely was impressive. As the main race drew closer, the yard of the Aberdeen Boat Club and the bridges across the river filled up with eager spectators. “We’re having a good time here today! The atmosphere is great as both the crews have such a great show of support. There’s also definitely more people here today than last year,” commented RGU supporters Grace, Eilidh, Erin, and Amelia, who had friends on the RGU team. Photo/ Ewa Czerwimska Photo/ Ewa Czerwimska “It’s never easy to lose but we did the best we could. The crew were amazing – the race went to plan, we took a good line but RGU were just the faster team on the day.” “I’m really happy that so many people came down to support us.” Lauren Cammaert