The Gaudie 16th October 2019

Funding refused for AberGreen replacement Will we lose the polar bear? Contract holdouts - a growing phenomenon Guide dogs against Brexit IV Magazine Inside News p.3 Science & Environment p.8 Opine p.12 Sports p.16 AUSA consider scrapping Student Council As part of proposed reforms, Student Council would effectively be replaced by online voting app Following an Annual General Meeting and two General Meetings last March, AUSA are considering removing significant power from student council. This is following the passing of the Democratic Review; AUSA are focusing on changes to the role of student council, which is a cornerstone of the review. One of the key reforms would likely remove student council’s power to propose policy and would introduce an online voting app, whereby students could put forward ideas they want to see implemented. Other students could then either “upvote” or “downvote” these ideas. Student council’s role would then be to “implement” the policies voted on by students. The proposal, however, raises questions of how policies will be debated and how Sabbatical Officers can be held properly to account. So far, even many in AUSA do not appear to know the details of the reform. When asked, AUSA failed to respond to a request for a comment on the proposed changes. Tomas Pizarro-Escuti, vice chair communities and member of student council, who will be putting forward an emergency motion regarding the proposed changes at next week’s student council meeting, said: “Since the foundation of the University the students have had some sort of student representation in the form of a Council or Parliament. “Therefore, it can be argued that it is an ancient institution which precedes the existence of AUSA. “However good the intentions of reforming the council and having instead an online platform as the main decision making, there are many questions that need to be answered. I can think of three: does the Democratic Review have enough responses to be a legitimate guide? Who has the highest authority, the Sabbatical Officers or the Student Council- or maybe AUSA’s CEO? And, do we really have an issue of political disengagement?” Continued on page 3. by Anttoni Numminen by Julie Toft Carlsen Aberdeen International Comedy Festival 2019 - Men With Coconuts Men with Coconuts is an entirely improvised comedy show performed by the Edinburgh-based troupe consisting of Charles Hindley, Will Naameh and Steve Worsley. Coming off the back of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, the troupe were on good form, proving themselves once again to be a leading force in the Scottish improv scene. The first part of the show consisted of three different improv games. The troupe started out strong, successfully creating a narrative while shifting between different emotional prompts that had been given to them by the audience. Their second game had one of the players leaving the room, as the audience and the remaining players came up with a film-star, a fictional film title, and a prop for the isolated player to guess. However, the troupe insisted on complicating the prompt so much that the sketch quickly reverted into a guessing game rather than a sketch. The audience helped to steer the player in the right direction by snapping their fingers when he got close to the right answer and were thus invested in him succeeding to guess the prompt, yet, no proper story or scene was ever developed. Continued in Arts, page 4. Photo coutesy of ASP Photo courtesy of Anna Verdina (Karnova) via Flickr

16.10.19 Note from the Editor: Hello Darkness my old friend For a while, I contemplated putting up just the lyrics of “The Sound of Silence” as an editorial, because that is where my head is at right now, and to be honest if you listen to it you will know everything I want to say. It also gives a warning that this won’t be a cheery read. I suggest you start playing the song now for extra feeling while reading timely on. This is the spot where we head editors can have our little message to you, some advice, some contemplations. And in this edition, I don’t know what else to say other than that this past week has been bad - not just for me, but for most people I’ve talked to. I think part of it is because we are in the middle of the semester and there are deadlines to reach while still keeping up with the normal course work, the autumn is here for real and we know that soon most days will just be dark. That makes a lot of us sad and makes life a bit harder than it usually is. You start to doubt a lot of things. For example, I haven’t found that essays and assessments become any easier as you go through university. I still feel nervous, just slightly more confident that I know what I am supposed to do than I did when handing in my very first essay three years ago. However, sometimes we might be sad without a clear reason, and that is okay, but it is important to speak out about it, to listen to our friends and really hear what they are saying. To not let the silence grow, as Simon and Garfunkel sing, but instead disturb that silence. We are living in a time when a lot of people are stressed and are suffering from mental illness, and even though mental health week has just passed, it is not a subject we should forget about. It is easier said than done, but we need to remember to be kind to ourselves and to surround ourselves with good friends and family, and most importantly, remember that we are not alone in this. For some reason, throughout this bad week, “The Sound of Silence” has been playing on repeat in my head. As mentioned at the start of this editorial, it really just has every emotion that I have been feeling, but then yesterday I was reminded about their song “Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water”. My first thought upon hearing it was thinking back to my parents’ wedding, when they had a singer performing it in Swedish, but when you listen to it, it’s great after “The Sound of Silence”. It is comforting, hopeful. So, to everyone who has had a bad week out there, and might still have, I would like to leave you with my favourite part of the song, which made me feel a bit better: “Sail on Silver Girl / Sail on by / Your time has come to shine / All your dreams are on their way”. p.2 HEAD EDITORS Fanny Olsson & Parel Wilmering [email protected] NEWS EDITOR Rosie Benny [email protected] DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR Anttoni Numminen SENIOR INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER Natasha Doris [email protected] FEATURES EDITOR Emilia Nuotio [email protected] INTERNATIONAL EDITOR Floriane Ramfos [email protected] DEPUTY INTERNATIONAL EDITOR Robass Zia SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT EDITORS Anton Kuech & Natalia Dec [email protected] OPINE EDITOR Alice King [email protected] DEPUTY OPINE EDITOR Tamara Rennison SATIRE EDITOR Blythe Stockdale [email protected] SPORTS EDITOR Tom Molnar [email protected] Editorial Team PRODUCTION Mathilde Communal, Hannah Cowie, Monica Ferreira, Isti Miskolczy, Fanny Olsson & Parel Wilmering ILLUSTRATIONS Jake Roslin & Julia Vallius COPY EDITORS Jenna Fults, Sally Heneghan, Mia Sommer & Matilde Zoppi ONLINE EDITOR Amy Smith [email protected] SOCIAL MEDIA COORDINATOR Ivana Drdáková EVENTS TEAM Matthew Angell & Shona Boyd PHOTOGRAPHERS Malwina Filipczuk & Alistair Swan MARKETING Monica Ferreira & Lea Rattei [email protected] Production Team We voluntarily adhere to the Independent Press Standards Organisation (www.ipso.co.uk) and aim to provide fair and balanced reporting. The Hub Elphinstone Road Old Aberdeen AB24 3TU Tel: 01224 272980 The Gaudie is printed on 100% recycled paper. by Natasha Doris The Aberdeen Law Reform Society launched their new publication at the Marriott Hotel in Dyce on Friday the 11th of October. The society, which is led by a team of Aberdeen law students, hosted multiple distinguished guests who were in attendance to support the society. Among those present were Kirsty Blackman MP, Tom Mason MSP and Lord Minginish, the Chairman of the Scottish Land Court and the President of the Lands Tribunal for Scotland. Society President Oliver Pike introduced the publication to the audience, and noted its already growing influence in other law schools across the UK: “The Law Reform project has been contacted by students across the country who now want to start their own law reform project.” Co-founder and reports co-ordinator Israr Khan talked about the origins of the society, and how it came to fruition: “We were sitting in the Sir Duncan Rice Library, and the idea was that the society would give students the opportunity to discuss the reforms which they think would be of necessity to our current world.” Khan further said: “I am particularly proud of the fact that we have successfully finished the first edition without any external support and major sponsorship.” The project currently writes on approximately twelve areas of the law, spanning from Brexit to family law. Bert Kerrigan QC, who stands as the honorary President of the society, addressed the event in his opening speech, in which he called the publication a “notable piece of work”, and delivered anecdotes about his time as a Queen’s Counsel. He wished the society well, and said in closing: “I hope you have a good year.” Lord Minginish expressed his pride in the publication, and told The Gaudie: “I think it’s very commendable for any body of students to be involved and interested in law reform, and to put on an event such as this, more particularly to produce a book of what looks to be very learned papers about law reform, is a very great achievement, and we’ve enjoyed being here this evening. Congratulations to the society, and we wish it all the best.” The society expressed their ambitions for the future- in particular, their hope that the project would inspire other law students, not only in Aberdeen but across Scotland and beyond. Committee member Derek Gardner said: “My ambitions for the society are to continue to be a platform open to all students to critically analyse the law, and to make their voices heard.” Khan echoed this statement and said: “The aim for the law reform society is to expand its publications to a wide range of topics, collaborate with other universities, and to improve the quality. We want to send a message to the law school about the importance of such student-led work. For the students there is a clear message that it is never too late to get involved and contribute to the wider discourse of law reforms.” Copies of the publication were circulated among the guests, and a raffle was held at the event to assist with the funding of further publications. Guests were served champagne and canapés, and were given the opportunity to network and mingle throughout the event. Law Reform Society celebrates launch of ambitious new annual publication The event took place at the Mariott Hotel on Friday, the 11th of October Photo coutesy of Israr Kahn

16.10.19 p.3 (continued from the front page:) The Gaudie understands that under the current proposal, student council would not be able to veto the change, only amend it. AUSA is acting under the mandate it received when the Democratic Review was passed in March. However, the review, which shows that a majority of respondents would welcome an online voting platform, has been criticised by some as being unrepresentative for asking only 835 students. A similar system to the one proposed for AUSA – “Student Voice” - has been taken into use by Reading University Students’ Union (RUSU). The Student Voice has 55 members who meet at least three times a year. According to RUSU, it is a forum where students “set the direction of the Union through policy and campaign proposals” which are then put forward to campus-wide votes. According to the RUSU website for latest results on campus-wide votes, 350 votes were cast in a campaign vote. There are approximately 16,000 students at Reading University. Pizarro-Escuti continued: “I believe the problem is not the low turnout in elections, the real issue is our political overrepresentation. Students are engaged! In fact, it’s a matter of looking at how many societies and sports clubs we have. The Student has 154 councillors, in a University as small as ours we should have half. Think about a small town or a village? Do they need 154 representatives? Of course not.” University denies lecturers' pay fallen by 20% University and College Union calls UoA's account "spin" and "badly distorted" A Universities and Colleges Employers Association (UCEA) report has found lecturers’ pay to have fallen by at least 17% since 2009. The independent report, which can be found online, looks at changes in the real value of earnings at seven different pay spine points, starting with 2008/2009. The University and College Union (UCU) is currently balloting its members at 147 universities for strike action over pay and workloads. A University of Aberdeen spokesperson said: “The University is committed to a fair and affordable pay settlement for our valued staff community. The annual pay award is one aspect of pay for our staff, along with pay progression through our spinal points system as well as opportunities for advancement. “The University participates in the JNCHES National Pay Negotiations where we, along with other higher education institutions, are represented by UCEA. “An independent analysis commissioned by UCEA has examined the real-terms change in the value of the new JNCHES pay spine points. This analysis found that pay has kept pace with inflation since 2013- 14, and that this year’s pay award has surpassed that trend, based on the current rate of inflation. Furthermore, UCEA has advised that its review has not found evidence that the pay spine has fallen by over 20% since 2009.” However, UCU which represents lecturers and other university staff said: “staff in higher education have seen the value of their pay decline by 20.8% since 2009.” Speaking to the Gaudie, Communications Officer for Aberdeen UCU said that the University had given a “highly selective, and so badly distorted account of the UCEAcommissioned report.” “This is obvious if you read the whole report, which is publicly available online. They’re hoping no one will bother to read it, but just accept their spin instead. “The figures vary according to whether you calculate the change since 2009 or since 2013, and which of the three different ways of measuring inflation you use, so there are nine separate tables of figures. But all measures show that salaries have not kept pace with inflation since 2009 (tables 1, 2, 4, 5, 7 and 8 in the report). “The UCEA-commissioned report also only looks at seven selected ‘spine points’ on the salary scale. This shows pay dropping by around 17% in real terms since 2009 (RPI, table 8). But UCU has analysed the cumulative impact and found the figure to be even higher: 20.8% (measured by RPI).” In 2018, UCU members took strike action at 64 universities, including Aberdeen University, over a dispute centring on proposals to change lecturers pension schemes. According to UCU, this would have left the typical lecturer almost £10,000 a year worse off in retirement than under the set-up at the time. Aberdeen UCU said the current dispute was not only about the continuing erosion in pay, but also about “equality issues, workload, and job security”. “The last thing university staff want to do is to take strike action, but unless we see movement from universities staff will be faced with no other option.” The UoA spokesperson went on to say: “The trade unions are currently balloting for industrial action which the University hopes can be avoided. Should industrial action take place, the University will strive to minimise the impact on students.” by Anttoni Numminen Aberdeen UCU said that the University had given a “highly selective, and so badly distorted account of the UCEA-commissioned report.” Funding refused for AberGreen replacement A new AUSA environmental initiative to replace the soon-to-end AberGreen has been refused funding by the Scottish Government. The new project, which like AberGreen was to run sustainability events and workshops for Aberdeen University students, did not make the final round of applications to the charity Keep Scotland Beautiful which allocates Holyrood's Climate Change Fund. AberGreen received a £160,000 grant two years ago which has allowed a busy programme of sustainability and carbon reduction events to take place on campus and around halls. Sabbatical Communities Officer Louise Henrard told The Gaudie of AUSA’s disappointment at the decision, but confirmed that the union remained “committed to supporting the reduction of the carbon footprint of our community”. AUSA will, she said, “continue to investigate alternative sources of funding for this important work”. Henrard reassured students that the current AberGreen programme will continue as advertised until the end of April. Activities run by AberGreen have included bicycle safety training, low-carbon cookery classes and creative upcycling workshops. A second clothing Swap Shop was recently opened at Hillhead, supplementing a longerstanding space in the Union building. The Secret Garden behind Butchart Centre (pictured) has trained students to plant and tend their own produce during regular weekend sessions. High involvement volunteers have also been able to gain recognised training certificates and Saltire Awards. AberGreen have also been engaged in AUSA’s carbon footprint-reducing VegBag scheme, which transports seasonal organic produce to students from a farm in nearby Stonehaven. “AberGreen continues to engage students and staff, receiving positive feedback, and has achieved a lot for the community,” Henrard continued. “AberGreen hopes that with the help of students and staff, projects such as The Secret Garden or Swap Shop can continue their hard work”. Another success of the project has been in the running of carbon literacy sessions to encourage students to reduce electric and gas usage. Energy consumption at Hillhead Halls has reduced by nearly 40% since the endeavour began. AberGreen has been a highly visible part of AUSA since its inception in spring 2018, but the project’s funding was only designed to last for two years. The decision of the Climate Change Fund (CCF) to decline to fund its replacement had not been expected. However, it is understood that there was intense competition from other projects this year, and that CCF had less funding in total to allocate. Another Aberdeenshire organisation, Huntly-based ‘Town Is The Garden’, also had an application for a new venture rejected. The CCF has funded over 1,100 environmental projects across Scotland since it was founded in 2008, providing grants totalling more than £100 million. The Scottish Government last month committed to net-zero carbon emission by 2045, and the creation of a Citizens’ Assembly on Climate Change. by Jake Roslin Campus ecological project will end in April Photo courtesy of AUSA The Gaudie understands that under the current proposal, student council would not be able to veto the change, only amend it.

p.4 16.10.19 Student art to enhance Union Building Campus artists are being sought to have their works displayed in Union Brew. The AUSA cafe bar is mounting a rolling exhibition of visual art. The selection, of around four works, will be changed every three weeks. The project is an election manifesto commitment of current Student President Cecilia Wallbäck. “The logistics of the project are not fully worked out yet,” Wallbäck told The Gaudie. “As students are registering interest we are finding out what procedures work best. It is also something that is close to my heart.” Management of Union Brew was switched from the university to AUSA in September 2018 and it is the only social or catering space currently run by them. There have been regular criticisms as to the venue’s generic decor and limited opening hours compared to student’s union venues at other UK universities. Wallbäck added that the exhibitions are part of a wider AUSA project to make the venue more personalised to students, and that she welcomes other suggestions. Interested producers of small format artworks are being directed to an application form on the AUSA Facebook page. by Jake Roslin AUSA puts out call to campus Picassos The project is an election manifesto commitment of current Student President Cecilia Wallbäck. University hosts Mental Health Week Aberdeen University’s Mental Health and Wellbeing Week ran from the 7th to the 11th of October. The week included events such as talks, movie nights, a pub quiz, as well as arts events. The week is held to cover World Mental Health Day on the 10th of October and hopes to improve awareness of the university’s mental health services and generally teach coping mechanisms and understanding of mental health issues. The week kicked off with a guest speaker Stef Black and a discussion about Mental Health and managing workload on Monday. On Wednesday Dr. Ruth Payne gave a talk about mental health and BAME (black, Asian and minority ethnic). Then a Wellbeing PowWow on Thursday, held by the mental health service Penumbra who describe their aim to “identify activities and goals to move towards mental health improvement using innovative Individual Recovery Outcomes Counter,” where they will talk about the different routes to improve mental health. The week rounded off with a Mental Health Movie Night titled ‘Resilience’. There was also a stall in Union Brew all week to share study tips, learn about the mental health services on campus and talk to staff and volunteers involved with those services. The week was in part used to promote the counselling services offered by the university. All students are entitled to six hour-long sessions of counselling that can be accessed through student services or at 5 Dunbar Street on campus. by Rosie Mccaffery Mental Health and Wellbeing Week ran from the 7th to 11th The week kicked off with a guest speaker Stef Black and a discussion about Mental Health and managing workload on Monday. Photo coutesy of Faxpilot via Flickr

16.10.19 p.5 Benefits of rape trials without a jury Improving justice for rape victims by Pam Enne, edited by Natasha Doris Calls for reform of the law on serious sexual offences have been prompted by low conviction rates for rape throughout the UK. A researcher at Aberdeen University has suggested that the root cause of the issue lies in the accepted logic of the law. David Lorimer, an ex-consulting engineer, applies his understanding of risk analysis to the criminal law. He believes that an option for trial without a public jury could go a considerable way toward empowering victims and providing better judgements in rape cases. PE: How do you equate the criminal trial to a technical risk analysis? DL: A criminal trial is an assessment of blameworthiness against a standard of probability – ‘beyond reasonable doubt’. There are competing risks at play; risk of conviction of the innocent versus risk of acquittal of the guilty. PE: What is the current status of rape law reform in the UK? DL: The law on rape in the UK varies throughout the jurisdictions of Scotland, Northern Ireland, England and Wales. Yet, each nation struggles to provide support, protection and justice to those who claim that they have been raped. This is best illustrated by the low conviction rates for rape throughout the UK and the ongoing efforts for rape law reform by institutions, such as Rape Crisis Scotland, as well as politicians like Anne Coffey MP and established members of the legal profession such as Lady Dorrian in Scotland and Sir John Gillen in Northern Ireland. Recent figures from the Crown Prosecution Service in England show that while complaints of rape increased over the past six years to almost 60,000 in 2018, prosecutions for the crime have dropped to their lowest levels in more than a decade, with just over 3 per cent of reported rapes resulting in conviction. PE: Is there a common thread that runs throughout UK jurisdictions in rape trials? DL: I would say there are two key threads. The first is our common adversarial system which effectively promotes emotive responses from jury members wherever advocates and barristers can bring them into play. This effectively feeds on prejudice. The law has been tweaked over the years to try and combat such unfair advantage being brought to bear but one only has to attend a rape trial to observe such practices firsthand, blatantly alive and kicking. The second is a House of Lords judgement that was made in 1991 (DPP v P) where an often-oversimplified precedent was set leading to the legal fiction that prejudice in the jury can somehow be directly outweighed or negated due to the strength of evidence giving rise to that prejudice. The dubious nature of the logic which underlies this ‘paradigm’ was manifested quite recently in the Ched Evans case. Evans was found guilty of rape but, on appeal, new evidence relating to the complainant’s allegedly promiscuous sexual history was deemed admissible, fundamentally on the legal basis that the new historical evidence (defined as ‘similar fact’ evidence under English law) was of sufficient strength (‘probative value’) to outweigh its prejudicial effect. The way this evidence was introduced was questionable and when the jury, upon retrial, took just two hours to acquit Evans there was a subsequent furore from women’s groups and campaigners seeking to provide better justice in rape cases – yet the underlying, over-simplified legal precept, namely that probative value can directly outweigh prejudicial effect, has never been held to account. From a risk perspective this precept holds a number of difficulties. In terms of legal process, so called ‘Rape Shield’ legislation, which is supposed to bar a complainer’s sexual and medical history from being admitted at trial, is rendered ineffective where a judge decides before the trial that such evidence has the right level of probative value or evidential weight. So, we have two separate stages of risk analysis, one at the pre-trial stage conducted by a legal professional who is not generally party at that time to the evidence yet to be presented at trial, and whose decision on admissibility is thus made before all the facts have been relayed by witnesses, tested and proven in court. The second stage, conducted at trial by members of the public jury whose understanding of the complexities of the law and of the social, sexual and psychological factors bearing upon difficult cases such as rape, is likely to be overshadowed by preconceived notions of justice and the imagined mythology of rape, particularly with respect to ‘rape myths’. A judge may be unlikely to bar certain evidence that, if left out, may give rise to an appeal or impact the perception of a fair trial, yet they are at liberty to withhold evidence based on some form of pre-trial value judgement about probative strength (or lack of it) with respect to notions of prejudice. The jury takes this ‘pre-filtered’ evidence and is unlikely to see things analytically from a legal perspective, particularly where sexual or medical history impacts on the credibility of the complainer and jury room performances have stirred up personal prejudices. PE: What do you see as the opportunities and benefits offered by non-jury options in rape trials? DL: Non-jury civil courts (and inquiries) without juries are more suited to complex technical analysis of events than criminal courts with public juries. This is part of the reason why failed criminal rape cases have recently found success and a certain level of justice for victims in the civil courts. A systematic reform of the criminal law could bring in changes incrementally, such as in the first instance, the option for the complainer (referred to as the complainant outside Scotland) to ask for a trial without a jury wherever sexual or medical history has been deemed to be admissible. This would amount to an empowerment of the complainer in a process in which they have historically been relatively powerless and voiceless. Incremental implementation would provide the opportunity to monitor judgements and any unforeseen potential for appeal. Non-jury trials could provide the opportunity for consistent, informed and educated analysis to be carried out by a small, cross-disciplinary panel of professionals, and perhaps one or two members of the public, with all the relevant knowledge, facts and evidence available to them, both live and recorded. PE: How does all this compare with industrial risk analysis? DL: Determining the likelihood of a series of events which might occur in future, which is what industrial risk analysis is generally concerned with, is quite analogous to assessing the likelihood of a series of events which have allegedly transpired, which is what a criminal trial is concerned with (reference for instance Lord Cullen’s excellent technical analysis for the Piper Alpha Inquiry which had a significant impact on industrial risk analysis). In carrying out an industrial risk analysis, a large company would gather experienced personnel from different stakeholder disciplines to brainstorm a sequence of events systematically and identify key risks at each event before assessing overall likelihoods of occurrence. This is similar to how civil courts and inquiries operate. The idea of having one person, no matter how experienced or knowledgeable, predetermine what technical information should be passed on to a team of untrained amateurs and to then allow them to embark, unattended, upon a detailed and complex analysis with very serious consequences, would be unconscionable. CONTENT WARNING: RAPE STOP SEXUAL HARASSMENT REPORT IT NOW: www.abdn.ac.uk/ reportsupport Photo coutesy of Pixabay on Pexels

p.6 16.10.19 Britain's constitution is under attack The prorogation affair was just the beginning by Harry Keightley Boris Johnson’s gung-ho approach to delivering Brexit has tested Britain’s constitution to its limits. His “do-ordie” approach seems to take no prisoners, including the very principles which define Britain’s idiosyncratic democratic system. The current government’s actions illustrate a pattern of behaviour defined by a disdain for the constitutional principles of parliamentary sovereignty and the rule of law; the consequences for our evolutionary constitution could be grave should this behaviour go unchecked. A constitution is the backbone of any democratic system of governance. Its function is to ensure that the executive (government) is not exercising its power in an arbitrary fashion or against democratic values. Unlike America, Britain does not have a codified (written in a single document) or entrenched (considered as “higher law”) constitution. Instead, a scattered mural of different pieces of legislation, common law precedents and nonbinding conventions (what has generally been done before) make up our unique and ever-evolving constitution. There are, however, two principles which are widely regarded as the pillars to Britain’s unique constitutional make-up: parliamentary sovereignty and the rule of law. The orthodox formulation of parliamentary sovereignty entails that Parliament may make or un-make any law which it so desires. The government only exists as it controls a majority of seats in the House of Commons; it is a creation of Parliament and is thus answerable to Parliament. Parliament is sovereign, not the government. The rule of law is a slightly more abstract idea, but it can be summarised as meaning that everybody, including government actors, is equally bound to follow the law. Governmental actions are open to judicial review and must comply with English common law principles as has been the case for all British governments immemorial. The courts are the binding arbiter in legal matters. Boris Johnson’s recent attempt to prorogue parliament for the longest period since the 1940s, in the face of one of the most pressing times for competent democratic governance, has illustrated his contempt for both Parliament and the Courts. The Supreme Court has recently heard appeals regarding the prorogation from both Scotland’s Court of Session and England’s High Court. The Supreme Court decided the case was justiciable, unlike the High Court, and that the exercise of prerogative powers, including prorogation, should be subject to judicial review. All eleven judges agreed that the prorogation was motivated by the “improper purpose of stymieing Parliament” and was therefore “unlawful, void and of no effect.” It’s difficult to think of another time a prime minister has received such a humiliating constitutional admonishment. Johnson and his Cabinet’s vocal attacks of the Supreme Court ruling in the Commons has elucidated their recalcitrance to the rule of law. The repeated claims from Johnson and his Cabinet are that they are pursuing the “will of the people” in their goal to leave the EU on 31st October is grossly disingenuous and autocratic in nature. There is a way of genuinely representing the will of the people in its contradicting, pluralistic, and shifting nature - that is called Parliament. To attempt to undermine and usurp the will of the democratically elected body of the Commons, by claim of some unique connection to the will of the nation, illustrates the Orwellian suppositions guiding this government. It is indicative of the lack of trust which Johnson commands that campaigners got the Scottish Court of Session involved to order Boris Johnson to comply with the provisions in the Benn Act requiring him to seek an extension to the Article 50 procedure. Johnson’s lawyers insisted that he will actually follow the provisions in the Benn Act and ask the EU for an extension should no deal pass the Commons by 19th October. The Court has delayed the hearing until 21st October. This latest court case illustrates the posttruth functioning that drives this current government. Johnson says one thing but means another. In a speech outside Number 10, Johnson insists he doesn’t want an election, yet the next day he tables a motion for one; he insists at his first party conference as Prime Minister that there will be no customs checks at the Irish border, yet the released plan involves customs checks at the Irish border; he insists that prorogation had nothing to do with Brexit, yet after the Supreme Court ruling is announced, he tells a Sky news reporter it will make our negotiating position with Brussels more difficult. It’s a mechanism by which to reduce accountability. The inability to pinpoint what the government wants and how it seeks to achieve it makes it difficult to effectively hold it to account. It also undermines the notion of an informed populace, a pre-requisite for democracy. Johnson has laid a number of cryptic remarks in press appearances insisting that Britain will leave the EU on the 31st October. An angry memo from Downing Street suggests Britain would refuse to work with EU countries who accept a Brexit delay, leading former Cabinet Minister Amber Rudd to assert that the government should feel ‘ashamed’. There are also reports that government officials are vying to win over Hungary’s support to veto any extension request put before the EU. Johnson’s “people vs parliament” election gambit is designed to give the appearance of democratic language, but it is autocratic in nature. It attempts to seek an authoritarian mandate: that the government be accountable to nobody in its pursuit of implementing the supposed “will of the people”. The Guardian has reported on a leaked memo from Johnson ordering ministers tasked with no-deal preparations to centralise ‘targeted and personalised information’ of users of the gov.uk site. Dominic Cummings, Johnson’s controversial advisor, labelled it a “top-priority”. Labour’s deputy Leader Tom Watson has said, “We need immediate assurances about what this data is going to be used for.” Cummings has faced criticism for his complicit abuse of personal data to help win the 2016 Brexit referendum during his tenure as campaign director for Vote Leave, the official leave campaign. The Electoral Commission found that Vote Leave had broken the law by channelling money through BeLeave, a Brexit youth campaign, to AggregateIQ in order to bypass electoral spending limits. AggregateIQ is a data analytics and political campaign firm and is a sister company of the disgraced Cambridge Analytica. Speaking of AggregateIQ’s instrumentality in securing the Brexit vote, Cummings was quoted on their own website as saying “Without a doubt, the Vote Leave campaign owes a great deal of its success to the work of AggregateIQ. We couldn’t have done it without them.” AggregateIQ’s Brexit advertising campaign relied on highly personalised ads which targeted social media users' psychological pressure points. These adverts often parroted discredited claims about EU funding, future joining EU states and immigration. Johnson’s government is undermining every pillar of democratic governance under the guise of pursuing the “will of the people”. The deliberate attacks on constitutional institutions designed to hold the government to account amount to a sustained campaign to centralise more constitutional functioning in the executive whilst avoiding suitable modes of scrutiny. The attempt to pit “the people” against Parliament in the next election is indicative of an attempt to alter Britain’s constitutional make-up, moving it away from representative democracy and towards a pretence of majority rule. This, coupled with the deliberate obfuscation of government intentions and the worrying abuse of citizens’ personal data in political campaigning, is cause for great concern. Those supporting a no-deal outcome must ask themselves, is all this really worth it? Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons Johnson’s government is undermining every pillar of democratic governance under the guise of pursuing the “will of the people”. Boris Johnson’s recent attempt to prorogue parliament for the longest period since the 1940s, in the face of one of the most pressing times for competent democratic governance, has illustrated his contempt for both Parliament and the Courts.

16.10.19 p.7 The respectful economy Automation and Al mean Universal Basic Income is now essential by Jake Roslin There’s nothing guaranteed to provoke the ire of capitalists, conservatives and your misanthropic grandad more than Universal Basic Income. "I sat in an office forty hours a week for forty years, so should you," the latter will grouch. But just as he'd balk at conditions in a Victorian mill, why shouldn't millennials have a better work-life balance than he did? Indeed, there is no choice - short of banning computers, robotics and artificial intelligence. Of somehow halting the progress which will enrich our existences for the sake of stalwart Schadenfreude. Because already there is no need for everyone to work full time. What is needed is not only a re-think of how the social economy works but to challenge the reactions of the right wingers who insist passing subsistence income through everyone's pocket is a "handout", rather than a tool which actually keeps the economy growing. And that choosing to work for yourself, bringing up a family, volunteering, or even taking a degree is not intrinsically inferior to traditional fulltime employment. The theory of UBI is that everyone within a jurisdiction receives just enough money to live basically upon, from leaving compulsory education until death. The idea was first posited in 1970s America but has seen a resurgence in the last decade as IT and AI have finally reached the point where its preconditions have moved from utopian fiction to actual reality. Now not only manufacturing, but service jobs are becoming literally, rather than just metaphorically, dehumanised. Think Amazon drones, self-driving taxis, banks without branches, shops without stores, zero hours contracts. Think Panopto, Turnitin, tests marked without involvement of any academic. Clinging to the panacea of full-time employment is as silly as denying climate change.Limited UBI trials, involving either small locales or randomised participants in a larger area, have been taking place recently in places with little in common, other than a liberal eye to the future. This month, a year and a quarter-long programme concludes in Utrecht, Netherlands, and the findings of a two-year nationwide trial in Finland are due next year. Even here in Scotland a feasibility study into a future full UBI trial in four areas (sadly not Aberdeen) has just concluded. While the experimental conditions have varied, the underlying principle of a regular fixed sum transfer from the state to each adult, no questions asked, remains constant. Sound economics underlies UBI. One of the greatest expenses of any vaguely democratic state is the provision of welfare and pensions. Not just payments themselves, but the often far greater cost of administrating usually highly complex assessment regimes. In the UK, the Department for Work & Pensions is a vast organisation which, particularly since its reforms by the Conservative Party since 2010, has stigmatised the sick, part-time and unemployed. Claimants have been subjected to humiliating interviews, forced onto meaningless work and training programmes (largely to reduce unemployment statistics) and given the dreaded ‘sanctions’ for any minor transgression of complex conditions. This has led to mass reliance on voluntary food banks and to plenty of suicides. Whatever the reason for a person having a low or zero income, the British and many other current benefits systems make the process of 'claiming' a derisory supplement as degrading as possible under the apparent strategy that those forced through its doors have any option, other than starvation, to being there. Yet simple mathematics repeatedly shows that were the whole gargantuan DWP abolished, the saved funds - including all present benefit and pension payments - would easily provide the entire nation, from richest to poorest, with a sufficient stipend for basic food and shelter. These payments could be made as a reverse tax by HMRC, and because there would be no condition attached beyond adulthood and citizenship, the process would be extremely simple to administer. What each recipient chooses to do to supplement this UBI would be up to them. Some would continue to work long hours in their own businesses, or in those professions which will always be needed: doctors, scientists, senior engineers. The relative increase in their income would be slight but tax progression would nevertheless be set to encourage the extra to be spent. Many more would choose a mixed portfolio of existence, perhaps freelance creative work plus a zero hours contract. Perhaps homemaking and returning to university. Perhaps a part time job and charity volunteering. Importantly, because UBI cares not what you earn, there is no 'poverty trap' where a small amount of income causes a similar loss in state benefit. Everything you earn, the smallest Etsy or Ebay, the shortest shift in a local cafe, is yours to keep and makes you slightly better off. And some would do nothing at all. Studies have repeatedly shown this is a tiny percentage. Nevertheless, they would not starve, they would not be vilified, and due to the fact that they were buying food and shelter they would still be stimulating the economy. Time and again, UBI trials have shown positive effects and confounded naysayers. Early results of the Finnish experiment show both stress levels and healthcare needs reduced notably for recipients. Earlier studies have concluded that far from encouraging laziness, for the unemployed the security of UBI has meant less time worrying about fulfilling complex benefit conditions (such as applying for a certain quota of unsuitable jobs) and more in doing things they really want to do with their lives, which usually produce or eventually lead to some sort of income. What is needed now is longer term, bigger trials. But what is needed as well, is a sea-change in attitudes that the way the employment works needs to somehow be preserved in the aspic of the late 20th century. That money can 'only' be earned rather than used as an economic tool. The world is continually changing, not everyone is keeping up. Even the staunchest monetarist would agree economic growth is entirely dependent on keeping money churning through the system. UBI ensures everyone participates in this, while eliminating poverty and perhaps best of all the stigma of "us and them". That the fulltime wage slave is somehow 'better' than the undergraduate, the child-raiser, the volunteer, or simply those who prefer to live simply in order to have a better work-life balance or indeed a more environmentally friendly existence. UBI is as much about respect and harmony as finally adapting the economy to the 21st century. Sound economics underlies UBI. One of the greatest expenses of any vaguely democratic state is the provision of welfare and pensions. Photo courtesy of Jake Roslin Alumni spotlight - Sarah Marley I remember nervously approaching the Gaudie Office as a first-year undergraduate, wanting to pitch my story idea to the then Features Editor David Blackwood. Most of the Gaudie contributors at that time were studying English Literature or similar, so as a Zoology student I felt a bit intimidated and out of my league! But despite my fears, the team were absolutely lovely and very encouraging. Between 2005 and 2008 I was first Features Editor and then Campus News Editor. Although I originally got involved just for a laugh and an excuse to do more writing, I actually gained a lot of skills relevant to my scientific career. In 2007 I won the BBC Wildlife Magazine Young Environmental Journalist of the Year award for my interview of Professor Paul Thompson about his dolphin conservation research. Since then, I have gone on to do Masters, PhD and post-doctoral work with marine mammals in the UK and overseas – all the time sharing my experiences through a range of platforms. Science outreach is extremely important to me, and I think my time at Gaudie helped hone those communication skills. For example, since 2016 I have been Blog Editor for the Journal of Animal Ecology, and I am also an Associate Editor for the journal Austral Ecology. After several years in Australia, I recently returned to the UK to take up an academic position at the University of Portsmouth as a Lecturer in Marine Vertebrate Zoology. Now it is my turn to encourage students to get involved with activities like student newspapers – even if they are scientists! by Ivana Drdáková Time and again UBI trials have shown positive effects and confounded naysayers.

p.8 16.10.19 Will we lose the polar bear? As Arctic ice melts faster than expected, fears about the survival of the species worsen by Victoria Thompson According to the International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN), current polar bear population estimates are said to be around 26,000, with a 2016 study published in The Royal Society predicting a population decline by a third by 2050. This substantial decline is connected to the loss of sea ice, underlined by the yearly reductions in annual minimum Arctic sea ice cover (second lowest ever recorded in 2019). Despite only being classified as ‘vulnerable’ on the IUCN’s Red List, there are significant worries for the polar bear and the decline of the species. Recent reports by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) show that the Arctic ice is being lost at a severe rate. Without sufficient ice, polar bears will struggle to find a food source as they wait near holes in the ice to prey on seals and depend on ice sheets for reproduction. Since ice is depleting faster and minimum summer ice extents are decreasing, it is becoming harder for polar bears to feed, breed successfully and ultimately, survive. In addition, the period of minimum ice extents is increasing, making it difficult for polar bears to find adequate ground and thus, they are forced to swim for longer periods. The IPCC report states that the minimum sea ice level this year will equal only 1.6 million square miles. In short, this means bears will go hungry as they will be unable to reach sources of prey. Young cubs requiring a lot of nutrition for growth and populations habiting areas further south where the ice retreats earlier, such as the Bering Sea and Hudson Bay, will be impacted strongest. This ice loss does not just impact the polar bear but also numerous other species which inhabit the Arctic, such as the Arctic fox, and the effects from melting ice are not limited to land animals. As polar bear numbers decline, the Arctic region loses one of its apex predators and the whole community structure changes. In addition to the problems at the top of the food chain, there are problems resulting from the bottom of the chain. The algae in the Arctic use the bottom of the ice to grow and ultimately support the whole Arctic ecosystem. Algae are the primary producers of the food chain, which means they represent the most important food source for zooplankton, which in turn then feed the fish and this pattern works up the food chain until it reaches the polar bear at the very top. Without these fundamental members present at either end of the food chain, the whole arctic ecosystem could crash in on itself. As the effects from the climate crisis are coming into clearer view, it is becoming progressively more difficult for scientists to carry out studies in the Arctic. This is because the ice is becoming too thin and dangerous for field work. This year the ice was thinner at an earlier stage, meaning that the US Geological Survey (USGS) were unable to do any work. Overall, this could harm polar bears further because experts will be unable to predict population numbers, properly assess their conservation status and argue for sensible policy in the area. Advancements in the efficacy of organ transplantation For the first time, brain stem cells were successfully transplanted in mice without the use of anti-rejection drugs. by Sofia Sandalli Organ transplantation not only underlies several bioethical issues and poses difficulties in regards to the socio-economic context of organ procurement, but is also one of the most complex and challenging medical procedures. The main problem resides in transplant rejection, which occurs when the recipient mounts an immune response against the transplanted organ, often resulting in the immediate need to remove the organ from the patient. Transplants occur successfully when there is sufficient similarity between the cell-surface proteins of donors and recipients: the recipient’s immune system will recognise the foreign cells as ‘self’ and will be less likely to flag an immune response against them. Successful transplants are further accomplished with the use of anti-rejection drugs, which, as the name suggests, prevent the patient from rejecting the transplanted organ. However, since these drugs work by suppressing the immune system, they put the recipient at risk for infections and tumour formation. The optimal solution would be to perform a successful organ transplant without the use of anti-rejection drugs. But is it possible? And if yes, how? There is evidence that this could be possible thanks to immunomodulatory strategies, which, rather than suppressing the immune system, simply alter its activity. It was through such mechanisms that John Hopkins Medicine researchers were successfully able to transplant brain stem cells in mice without anti-rejection drugs. What is particularly significant about this investigation—which was led by Shen Li and published in the journal Brain on September 16th—is that it dealt with the transplant of glial cells, cells of the nervous system that safeguard neurons through the formation of a protective substance called myelin. Glial cell dysfunctions are associated with a range of neurological disorders, caused by genetic mutations in the genes encoding for myelin. These include multiple sclerosis, Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease and various devastating disorders in infants and adolescents. The John Hopkins Medicine researchers achieved their results by manipulating the so-called ‘costimulatory signals’ of T cells, where T cells are central components of the immune system and costimulatory signals are stimuli that trigger their initiation of an immune response. More specifically, they used two antibodies called CTLA4-Ig and anti-CD154, which, by binding to the surface of T cells, prevent them from mounting an attack against foreign cells. This immunomodulatory technique had been used before, but never for the transplant of brain cells. Firstly, the researchers injected mice with glial cells that had been genetically-engineered to glow and thus, remain visible. They then proceeded to transplant the glowing glial cells into three kinds of mice: normal mice, mice that were genetically-engineered to not produce glial cells and mice that had been bred to have deficient immune systems. To block immune responses against the inserted glial cells, they treated some mice with CTLA4-Ig and anti-CD154 antibodies, while others were left untreated as a control. The fluorescent, transplanted cells were monitored with specialised equipment that imaged the mice brains. Researchers saw that whereas in untreated mice the transplanted cells immediately deteriorated, in the mice treated with antibodies, the cells survived for over 200 days. This proves that the mice successfully accepted the transplant. On top of that, another successful observation was that the inserted glial cells produced myelin, taking on their normal function of safeguarding brain neurons. Although these are only preliminary results and a great amount of research into the transplant of glial cells for brain repair has yet to be conducted, in the long-term, this scientific development could contribute towards the treatment of patients with neurological disorders and towards the execution of organ transplants without the need for immunosuppressant drugs. There is evidence that this could be possible thanks to immunomodulatory strategies, which rather than suppressing the immune system, simply alter its activity. They used two antibodies called CTLA4-Ig and anti-CD154, which, by binding to the surface of T cells, prevent them from mounting an attack against foreign cells. Photo coutesy of Thinkstock Photo coutesy of Andreas Weith Without sufficient ice, polar bears will struggle to find a food source as they wait near holes in the ice to prey on seals and depend on ice sheets for reproduction.

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p. 2 facebook/thegaudie | @thegaudie Hello darkness, my old friend let’s grab a coffee sometime and see if we hit it off. With love, Team iV Editors Fanny Olsson Parel Wilmering IV Editors ARTS - Alba Lopes Da Silva Deputy Arts - Daniel Mohr & Rory Buccheri [email protected] LIFE AND STYLE - Abbie Morrice Deputy Life and Style - Dillan-James Carter [email protected] GAMING AND TECH - Martin Hare Michno Deputy Gaming and Tech - Dillan-James Carter [email protected] Production Mathilde Communal Hannah Cowie Parel Wilmering Copy Editors Jenna Fults Sally Heneghan Mia Sommer Matilde Zoppi Illustrators Julia Vallius iV Prolonged introductions to her material gave the show a slow start; when you thought she was heading into a story she would interrupt it by telling us how it would relate to the show later on. This was a shame because once she got going, Hagen proved herself to be an irresistible and engaging storyteller. To introduce the audience to her Danish background, Hagen told a few stories about the Danish Queen Margrethe II, and described three iconic photos of her: one where she is eating a hotdog, one where she is dangling bacon into her mouth, and one where she is drinking a juice box and smoking. During the intermission, Hagen had small badges of these images handed out to audience members who wanted one. At that point it had been about an hour since the story, and seeing these small images come out of the bag was a surprising but very fun twist. Later, as Hagen told the story of her sex holiday to Swansea with a man she’d only had a onenight stand with, she took detours to talk about her childhood in Denmark, the bluntness of Danes, and the ‘bum-swing’: the swing no kid in her hometown would go on, because that weird boy in primary school sat on it with his naked bum. Ultimately, though, the show was about how Hagen realized how she had overwritten her own memories. This slow exploration of herself as an unreliable narrator is so cleverly weaved together with the comic stories of the show that you might not realize the reality behind her Swansea sex holiday until the very end, as she unravels every one of her stories. The Bum Swing was unpredictable, chaotic, engaging and thoroughly enjoyable. After the performance, Hagen invited the audience back into their seats to watch her warm-up act, Will Duggan, a London-based comedian, followed by some workin-progress by Hagen herself. This was an unusual structure, but the majority of the audience decided to remain in Hagen’s company and were ultimately rewarded; she told unpolished jokes and stories of awkward sexual encounters with famous comedians, gushed about the restaurant chain Toby Carvery, and lobbied to make her new nickname ‘Dick-Lord’. Sofie Hagen was laid-back, confident, self-deprecating and worth every minute. She’s definitely a star on the rise, and one to watch. by Julie Toft Carlsen photo courtesy of Sofie Hagen via wikicommons.com Sofie Hagen: The Bum Swing at Aberdeen International Comedy Festival

p. 3 arts | performance Ballet’s rule to communicate through dance instead of words would prove a challenge for Arthur Miller’s play about the Salem Witch trials, The Crucible. Within the text, the protagonist searches for his lost dignity following an infidelity. His name, famously, is the symbol of his reputation, which he chooses even between life and death. The ballet instead portrays an emotional truth over a physical verbal battle in the courts. Choreographer Helen Pickett begins with a dramatisation of what is only talked about during the play - the affair between Abigail Francis and John Proctor. The steamy duet between the dancers is laced with chemistry and passion. However, the production also allows for a diplomatic amount of solos for both Goody Proctor, the wife, and Abigail Francis, the young ‘homewrecker’; an insight into the characters’ psyche not present in the original play. It is then up to the audience to make up their minds of where their sympathies lie. The stage on which the dancers perform is simple yet fantastic. Four large wooden squares are used to illuminate and recreate the allimportant beams of light in the courtroom. The ballet shows the fight between light and dark, love and lust. The girls, orchestrators of all the terror of the witch hunt, are simplistic and childish – their dances are childlike, confused and perturbed. They play with shadow puppets and gang up like a terrifying Greek Chorus. We are reminded of Banshees - their screams throughout the ballet foreshadow an imminent death. Red paint marks the witches from the upstanding members of the puritan society. Religious tyranny is drummed into the crowd through t h e r e p e t i t i v e prayer gestures and Reverend Hale’s books. You can only imagine the disdain actual Puritans would harbour at the thought of the dancers’ interpretation of their world. The music adds to the sinister feel; a mixture of romantic, emotive strings and contemporary industrial beats resonate in particularly tense scenes . The use of a car spring creates sounds right out of a horror film. Where instruments don’t satisfy, whispering and screaming is used to elicit goosebumps from the audience. While words speak to the brain, ballet speaks to the bodies of the audience. From the crowd, we feel Abigail’s teenage rage, John’s guilt, Elizabeth’s breaking heart. The religious characters are dogmatic and oppressive. Each communicate the link between evil and redemption with only a few wooden panels, the orchestra and their bodies. Ballet Review: Scottish National Theatre’s ‘The Crucible’ by Theresa Peteranna Photo courtesy of Scottish Ballet The first character invoked on stage is rage – an unwelcome, suffocating visitor that lingers obstinately behind a closed door and leaves viscid, wet kisses you can never really wipe away. As you intrude – and are lured into – Hannah Lavery’s sitting room, complete with armchair and tea, it’s rage that you first encounter, and that stays with you long after you’ve left. Directed by Eve Nicolls, written and performed by Hannah Lavery, ‘The Drift’ is a piercing piece of work blurring the lines between spoken word and theatre, the public and private sphere, history and future, land and blood. Scathing writing is controlled by a calm, measured delivery, seething rage is balanced by heart-wrenching moments of tenderness. The National Theatre of Scotland has a transparent agenda: a ‘theatre without walls’, they bring shows to the audiences that need (want) them, rather than locking themselves up in a ‘home’ theatre. They also seek to bring down walls – and tell stories without borders. ‘The Drift’ is a story that shows all the scars left by the barbed wire of racism, the everyday battles of a riotous, multifaceted identity that struggles to be confined by the white bars of a national flag. It’s a story about grief, acceptance and belonging – and the terrible pain, the stinging open wound that’s left when those ties are severed. Grief is where the tale belongs – the pain of words left unspoken when Hannah’s estranged father passes away as they’d just gotten closer. It then moves backwards t o h e r childhood growing up mixed-race in Scotland, then backwards still, zigzagging through old photographs to retrace the story of her family – looking for roots, for belonging. The cruelty of racism is strikingly framed by the innocence of childhood – when Hannah’s young children get picked on in school, when her father as a boy gets punished for naively answering ‘here’ to ‘where are you (and your black skin) from?’. ‘The Drift’ addresses a wider discourse about racism in Scotland that is probably not spoken about enough – and urges you to investigate, ask more questions, and discover the past of colonial Scotland. It’s dangerous to wave (blood-stained) flags and define a ‘me’ as a ‘not-you’. We still need to talk about it. And racism – subtle, complacent, complicit – is probably best tackled this way: in a tenderly humane and personal story that trickles under your shirt, makes you uncomfortable and leaves you a viscid, wet kiss you can’t just wipe away. ‘ T h e D r i f t ’ a t The Lemon Tree by Bianca Rhodes Photo courtesy of Beth Chalmers

p. 4 arts | literature Naomi Alderman’s The Power, published in 2019, comes across as a real shock; it is extremely thought-provoking and uncomfortable, for men and women alike. The story is as follows: one day, women all over the world discover that they have the power of electrocution, and the world is thus turned on its head. Hurting, torturing and murdering can now easily be done with a simple flick of the finger. From one day to another, being a woman and the feminine become synonyms for power and strength. The book poses the question: what would happen if men (rather than women) had to constantly live in fear of the abuses of the matriarchy (rather than the patriarchy)? Writing about The Power is neither easy nor comfortable. This book explores the power dynamics between men and women and as such, difficult subjects such as violence and rape are mentioned. Alderman considers how age-old institutions (religious, political, scientific etc) can be subverted if a gender becomes disproportionally more powerful than the other. As a woman myself, I found myself cheering for the women at the start of the book; it felt refreshing (dare I say exhilarating) to see a situation where no woman was being mistreated. Almost overnight, political leaders become disproportionally women, God changes gender and sex-trafficked and abused women suddenly break free. Yet, as I was reading the second half of the novel, I felt awkward and uncomfortable – my feelings underwent a complete 360 degree change. Suddenly, some men were exposed to the horrible and unjust mistreatment that is the reality for many women today. Violence, no matter who does it or on whom it is done, is appalling and should not be excused. What the book does best is hold up a mirror to the horrors of our current society. As Alderman herself said, ‘nothing happens in the book to men that has not been happening in reality’. And terrible things do indeed happen. The book is presented as a mockhistorical document which retells the tale of three women and one man who lived through these changes. Getting into the book can be confusing at first, as the perspective changes every chapter. If you have read George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series, you might know how difficult it can be to remember every name and every little detail that happens to the different protagonists. I have to admit that in The Power, some perspectives are more interesting than others - sometimes I even found myself quickly skimming through a protagonist’s chapter that I didn’t like as much as the others. However, the book genuinely does feel like a piece of research someone has written about this society. The Power is one of those books that stay with you for a long time. It’s not a comfortable book to read, and it doesn’t offer an in-depth exploration of its characters or on the subjects of oppression and prejudice. It presents you with a fact, narrated in a plain, historical way. You, as a reader, should make what you want of the fact that is presented to you - the book offers no answers. Yet, if there is one thing that is clearly displayed in the novel, it is that power corrupts and no one is safe from this corruption. If you enjoyed novels such as The Handmaid’s Tale, 1984 or Brave New World, you should make a spot on your shelf for The Power. image via naomialderman.com The Power by Alba Lopes Da Silva Book review (continued from front page:) Finally, the troupe found a couple in the audience and re-enacted their first date. The couple were given two squeaky toys to indicate whether the players were getting the details of the story right or wrong. This segment was where the players truly showcased their many years of experience improvising together. They managed to toe the line between playfully mocking and carefully reproducing the couple’s story, encouraging their input, yet never crossing over to inappropriate territories. After the intermission, the troupe asked for a one-worded prompt and created a ‘montage’ from this. The story ended up taking place in a call-centre with one of the characters, 100-year old employee Margaret, at one point receiving a lap dance from Sean Bean, with his daughter continuing to answer the phone with ‘hello, Lloyd’s Banking, press 1 for banking and 2 for everything else’. It was absolutely ridiculous - eventually too drawn out - but still cleverly done with consistent call-backs to plot details and seemingly throwaway lines. Frequently providing the audience (including their piano player) with belly laughter, fast-thinking clever narratives, and plenty of silly jokes, Men with Coconuts delivered another unpredictable and outstanding performance. photo courtesy of menwithcoconuts.com

p. 5 arts | literature Malcolm Bradbury’s The History Man should be on every undergraduate’s vacation reading list. Not because its protagonist, the egocentric, misogynistic, Sociology lecturer Howard Kirk, would be anyone’s hero. Not because the sociopolitical context of a novel set in 1972 and written in 1975 is very relatable today. But because it shows a university community for what it can be- a place where passionate ideals can be expressed, where a new and fairer world seems possible, where the atmosphere is heady, and every day seems full of possibilities. The History Man, which was also faithfully dramatised by the BBC in the 1980s and has now, somewhat belatedly, become available on DVD, encapsulates a very particular era through the increscent lens of a university campus. The optimistic, inclusive 1960s had seen a British government (clearly very different in motivations to today’s) expand higher education to all social echelons, via six brand new plate glass and concrete institutions on greenfield sites around England. Bradbury, as well as being a novelist, taught at one of the six, The University of East Anglia, and also created a seventh fictional campus, the University of Watermouth (geographically Bournemouth). It is here that trendy, flare-wearing chat show Marxist Howard Kirk pursues his manipulative agenda, radicalising and bedding both students and colleagues alike, provoking and alienating those who disagree with his politicsin particular the bourgeois George Carmody, ‘the only student in this university with a trouser press’. But the spirit of sixty-eight, which soundtracked Kirk’s own undergraduate days, is dying, and the Zapata-moustached academic must, by means of rumour, the moulding of events and the persuasion of the post-coital pillow, create - like any bad situationist - the conflict he desires. A geneticist whose appearance is guaranteed to cause unrest is contrived to be invited on campus to speak, wideeyed female undergraduate Felicity Phee is installed in the Kirks’ house as babysitter-come-concubine. The hapless Carmody, a diligent undergraduate who unfortunately stays politically loyal to his comfortable upbringing, is hounded from the university, although only after our protagonist has used him to pursue Carmody’s tutor: the apparently unseducable, demure new English lecturer Miss Callendar. It is a tribute to Bradbury’s skill as a novelist, and in the BBC adaptation to Antony Sher’s acting dexterity, that Kirk, a character so entirely callous and self-centred, not only mesmerises the viewer but stirs a strange sort of empathy too. Kirk’s wife Barbara, unlike her husband, who is thoroughly disillusioned with further extending the free love hangover of the 1960s, is played on screen with great sensitivity by Geraldine James with Veronica Quilligan in the role of Phee, one of the few characters who does discover the real Kirk and turns against him, is hypnotisingly well cast. It was at the six real-life equivalents of Watermouth that socialism, demonstrations, occupations and sitins thrived for a long time after the student uprisings in Italy, Germany and especially France during May 1968 made a whole generation of undergraduates agitprop. Solidarity with workers, campus overcrowding, the Vietnam war, the legalisation of drugs - every student newspaper of the era earnestly reported a new concern. Whether this was because the new universities were big in the teaching of sociology, psychology and political theory. Whether it was because of the greater demographic mix of students they actively pursued. Whether it was even due to the rain-stained oppressiveness of those concrete slabs from which they were constructed. The most political university, Essex, even had twenty storey tower blocks as student halls. But one way or another, student unrest simply did not take off at traditional places like Aberdeen. And by the nineties it was dead everywhere - apathy replacing activism, recruitment fares superseding midnight revolutionary talk over joss-sticks under posters of Che Guevara. Any remaining Howard Kirks about campus were wistful anachronisms, now in leather patched tweed jackets with their wellthumbed copies of the Little Red Book in a pocket. But the availability of The History Man on DVD is not the only reason this cleverly written and thoroughly engaging novel is apposite today. Because it’s increasingly difficult to avoid the fact that campuses, not only in the UK but across the world, are stirring once again - here in 2019 - with the sight of banners, marches and concerned undergraduates, no longer content with the status quo. Even in sleepy Old Aberdeen. But this time it’s not about sex, or war, or drugs, but something even that progressive couple Howard and Barbara didn’t think about - the environment. And the events of recent months, with Ms Thunberg being a far more worthy agitator than Dr Kirk, are stirring students to come together, to make plans, to paint banners and to be a movement. Not just a summation of undergraduates following their own paths. Despite its antiquity, the scene in The History Man where geneticist and racist Mangel is finally due to speak on campus to a lecture room full of angry banner-wavers doesn’t look so very different to the road in front of Marischal College over the last few weeks. Perhaps in the course of the inevitable progress of history, students have finally tired of apathy, and have regained something of the spirit of the fictional, but highly worthwhile discovering, University of Watermouth. Malcolm Bradbury’s The History Man is published by Picador Classics. The BBC’s four-part dramatisation of the novel by Christopher Hampton is now available as a Simply Media DVD. Reassessing The History Man Seminal campus novel resonates in 2019’s climate activism by Jake Roslin image courtesy of Jake Roslin and the BBC

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p. 7 arts | mythology ‘The following text is a translation of a text from snar. fo/sagnir, a repository of Faroese folklore, stories and mythology. Despite my country’s small size (51.000, less than the town of Hamilton), the oral tradition is rich and long, with snar.fo cataloguing hundreds of folk tales dating way back to the middle ages. Very few of them have ever been translated into English. Many of these stories prominently centre around religion, in particular its ability to civilise the harsh and mysterious elements of the Faroe Islands; when the characters in these stories are faced with the threat of a supernatural/ungodly creature, like trolls or the fabled Nykur, these threats are always defeated or domesticated by invoking the name of Jesus or the Christian Cross, banishing them forever into the hinterland to never return. The following text, my personal translation of a story from Trøllanes, is an example of this. You can find more of my translations on my blog sagnir. tumblr.com.’ The Thirteenth Night – A Faroe Islands folk tale Translated by Magnus Høgenni Introduction by Magnus Høgenni I t is said that on the thirteenth night, the trolls come down from the mountains seeking humanbuilt houses, in which they will hold a night of rowdy, rambunctious and utterly destructive festivities. In eastern Mykines, on the Núgvunes headland in Borgardal, a small bothy was built for shepherds to reside in while tending to their flock, due to the pasture’s distance from the village. On one night, one of these shepherds made his way out there, and a heavy shower picked up. As he made his way to the bothy, he heard loud and uproarious noises from inside. He peeked inside a window and noticed that the house was full of trolls, frolicking, dancing and singing. They sang: “Trum, trum, tralalei, ‘tis cold for us mountain trolls, ‘tis better with halls on grassy knolls, trum, trum, tralalei, dance closely near the door hole”. The mountain troll pest had been much worse for wear in Trøllanes, the northernmost village in Kalsoy. In these parts, trolls from all around came every thirteenth night in such great numbers that all the villagers had to flee to nearby Mikladalur to escape the racket. This is how the village got its name (literally translated as “Troll peninsula”). It so happened that during one such thirteenth night, there was one old kelling by the name of Gyðja who was too old and frail to escape with the others; as such, she had to stay behind. She hid herself from the trolls under a table in the roykstova. As evening came, she saw the trolls streaming in like sheep to the sheepfold, in such great numbers that she found it impossible to count them all. Immediately, they began to sing and dance, jovially and loudly. As their racket reached its noisiest levels, and their rambunctious dancing shook the house’s foundations to their core, the kelling was struck with panic and yelled out “Jesus spare me!”. This struck utter horror into the hearts of the trolls, as they heard the one name they feared and despised the most. “Gyðja has split up the dance!” they bellowed, and they all fled the house as quickly as their giant statures would allow them. Since then, they never dared to disturb Trøllanes ever again. When the villagers returned from Mikladal, they expected to find Gyðja dead, and were quite surprised to find her still on her feet. She told them of how it went with the trolls, and how they fled upon hearing her invoke the name of Jesus. Translator’s notes: The original Faroese text refers to Gyðja as a kelling, which can be translated variously as hag, witch, or wife. Given the religious nature of this folk tale, I am unsure as to exactly how to translate this word. The word roykstova translates literally as smoke room, and refers to the main room in a household where the fireplace was located. It served as a kitchen, living room, workroom, and sleeping quarters all at once.

p. 8 arts | film reviews I n a post-Game of Thrones world, it is tempting to imagine what some of the prime actors of the multi-awarded HBO phenomenon will move onto. Newcomer director Halina Heijn handpicks Carice Van Houten as the star of her directorial debut Instinct, a sexually charged tale of a prison psychologist playing a very dangerous cat and mouse game with one of her patients, a convicted serial rapist. The first few minutes are captivating, with a crude sexual tension slowly erupting between the two protagonists. However, as the film progresses, there are too many wasted plotlines, such as the shallow exploration of the very odd dynamic between Nicoline (Van Houten) and her mother. Their narrative is quickly obliterated from the film before having the chance to consolidate itself, leaving a bitter taste of confusion. Is the mother a metaphor, a catalyser or just simply a meddlesome device gone wrong? It is tempting to think of the character as a hallucination, a ghost or even the source of Nicoline’s self-destructive behaviour, one that facilitates her gravitation towards Idris (Marwan Kenzari). Then again, their relationship vanishes from the plot before it accomplishes any of the previous. Although its intentions towards the conclusion seem to originate from the desire of portraying a woman regaining her power after being subjected to sexual abuse, Instinct falls into a trap of its own making. The provocative erotic tone of the feature is diluted into a topsy-turvy sequence of poor choices. Most of its attempts towards provocativeness backfire due to their lack of purpose, with its final crescendo stripped out of its aforementioned feminist ambitions, culminating in an unsatisfactory resolution not even Van Houten’s impeccable performance could save. Instinct by Rafaela Sales Ross The Goldfinch by Theresa Peteranna Some would say that Donna Tartt’s third book, a chunky mediation of life, love and art, should never be condensed into a feature film. The box office’s pitiful figures would agree. Tartt’s magnum opus, The Secret History, is famously stubborn to adaption and many who have attempted to secure rights have been plagued with deaths. The Goldfinch, however, had a somewhat quiet turnaround to the screen and has lost respective companies almost $50 million. In the book, Tartt’s language is consistently rich with description. Each room, chair, coat, and countenance is described with a filmic eye. For director John Crawley, it was an exercise in attention to the text that he delivers with beautiful clean shots and tasteful mise-en-scene. Although the film’s strengths lie mostly in visuals, the talented actors add heart to the somewhat sterile film. Fans of Stranger Things will enjoy Finn Wolfhart’s portrayal of the indomitable Boris. Boris, with the young Theo (Oakes Fegley, Ansel Elgort) make the audience sit up and laugh. The child characters swear, curse, drink and take drugs. More importantly, the children are given agency and complexity, rather than Hollywood’s usual blonde-haired props at the kitchen table. While an entertaining and at times touching experience, it is clear why The Goldfinch has ‘bombed’. There are fatal misgivings about the message, which may say more about what is lost in translation from the book to the film. Though a generous two and a half hours, time is still the enemy to the feature that makes many characters of note fall flat. Recurring shots of Theo’s tight clutch around the newspaper would have you think the painting was simply a metaphor for his lost mother. The film is rife with loss and many moments of exquisite beauty. Perhaps the real loss is the crux of the novel. The importance of art which gives the tortured Theo any reason to live on is glossed over. The film is like the faux-vintage furniture Hobie (Jeffrey Wright) dismisses: beautiful to the eye, but once you start to feel around the edges you can see the machine cuts of a large budget production - perfectly made but lacking life. Joker is the latest re-invention of the origin story of the villain from the DC comics universe. Directed and co-written by Todd Phillips, best known from The Hangover Trilogy, and starring masterful Joaquin Phoenix in the titular role, Joker depicts the descend into violence and uncontrolled madness of both the city of Gotham and clown for-hire Arthur Fleck. It sets up a social climate that is constantly compared to the psyche of our main character, and then has them both slowly lose control after an accidental shooting in the Gotham metro that kick starts revolts, putting the abused citizens against the rich and powerful elite. Joker is brilliant at keeping an unsettling tone, mainly due to the hypnotic and stress-inducing performance by Phoenix and the music by Hildur Guðnadóttir, the two highlights of this movie. They both help to make this a difficult movie to watch, making you want to close your eyes and ears. The directing manages to keep the unsettling tone throughout, but it occasionally resorts to cheap spectacle to achieve this. The violence in this movie, while not excessive, is unnecessarily gruesome and works as a spectacle without substance that acts as an attraction rather than a narrative element. It is worth noticing how this movie talks about society. It exaggerates issues of social relevance to comment on the illogical nature of society that previous iterations of the Joker talked so much about without actually showing it. By the end, one can only think that the Batman in this world is just a self-entitled rich prick, who is unable to understand the oppressive structures he is endorsing. Joker is neither the masterpiece that many say (it does not deserve to be on the top 10 movie list on IMdB), but it is also not the endorsement of violence that you would expect when looking at the controversy surrounding it. It is a good movie, an interesting take on the quintessential comic book madman and most importantly the society that creates a villain, and an experience that will make you question whether you want to leave the theatre. It is a movie that in some aspect I am happy I watched, but I hope I won’t see again in a long time. Joker by Miguel de la Cal Moreno

p. 9 arts | album reviews What do you do, as a listener, when you’ve heard what you believe is the album of the decade? If Kendrick Lamar’s DAMN is any indication, tempering expectations after a piece of art like To Pimp A Butterfly was a damn good idea, and so it also seems with Danny Brown’s followup to his gothic horror show that was Atrocity Exhibition. My personal favourite album of the decade, it was a brilliant work that twisted every sample and rhyme scheme to paint a tormented soundscape with his lyrics of addiction and past trauma, with the real nightmare of being selfaware enough to know he was spiralling down a self-destructive path, but too powerless to pause the high-flying drugs and hedonistic life he’d succumbed to. And now he’s back with a new album, and while nowhere near the revelation that Atrocity Exhibition was (nor meant to be), uknowhatimsayin¿ is still an awesome showcase for Brown as one of the decade’s great rappers. His penchant for shambling, irregular beats that would be a challenge for most rappers is still a perfect fit for him, this time working with a varied list of awesome producers, track to track. Rap legend Q-tip serves as executive producer on the whole album, specifically producing a couple of tracks such as the closing ‘Combat’: a track reminiscent of J-Dilla himself, it easily stands as my favourite instrumental on the whole album. His frequent collaborator Paul White shows up on the title track to provide one of Danny Brown’s chillest beats of his career so far, with Brown rapping about the hardships of day-afterday, but Nigerian musician Obongjayar offers a more hopeful chorus, singing: “My guy just hol’ your composure ,and when you’re down, it gets cold, I know, ah, my guy, don’t stop now, keep moving”. Perhaps this is why this is the title track: it’s a reassurance offered to Danny Brown that, despite his past traumas, so evocatively given artistic life in this decade’s work, that’s not to say that’s all he can be moving forward as an artist pushing 40. This can be seen as the start of something fresh in the new decade, and I for one can’t wait to hear more. Danny Brown: uknowhatimsayin¿ by Callum Patterson Even though the Never Boring Box Set does not include any new Freddie Mercury songs, it is still an exciting release for old and new fans. The Box Set includes the Never Boring album, a compilation of Freddie’s greatest solo hits, and a new special edition of both his solo albums, Mr Bad Guy and Barcelona. What is exciting about these special editions is that, instead of reworking previously remastered and mixed tapes, the sound team went back to the original tapes to create a new and unique sound that stays true to Freddie’s original version, using the newest technology. When comparing the sound of the two versions, you can definitely notice a difference in sound, the new version sounding much clearer. Barcelona now enjoys a new orchestrated version, with Rufus Taylor (Roger Taylor’s son) taking over on the drums for tracks ‘The Golden Boy’ and ‘How Can I Go On’. In addition to that, the other Queen members have also contributed to Never Boring: Roger Taylor as a backing singer on ‘The Great Pretender’ and playing percussion on ‘Love Kills’, which also features Brian May on lead guitar and John Deacon on rhythm guitar. Brian also plays guitar on ‘She Blows Hot and Cold’, while John takes over on bass for ‘How Can I Go On’. The Box Set also contains a Blu-Ray and DVD featuring 13 promo videos and interviews, a 120-page hardback full of rare and unpublished photographs and thoughts and choice quotes from Freddie himself, as well as an introduction by Rami Malek – Oscar-winner for portraying Freddie in the film Bohemian Rhapsody. This collection then, is a great delight for any Freddie Mercury and Queen fan and serves as a reminder of Freddie’s achievements as a singer, songwriter, performer and human being. Freddie Mercury: Never Boring by Debbie Stebens The sound of blink-182 has changed considerably since their beginnings in the 90’s, when they were best known for providing the soundtrack for the American Pie movies. In 2019 they are not silly young guys making music anymore. Their new record, Nine, is in many ways similar to its predecessor California: both are in the vein of the 2003 Untitled album, which marked a break in the band’s history. Moving away from the frenetic, tongue-in-cheek songs that had dominated previous releases, it instead diverted to more serious lyrics accompanied by a more melancholic vibe. Following this vibe, Nine might be their darkest album up to date. This surely has to do with the fact that the only remaining founding member, singer and bassist Mark Hoppus, suffered from depression after finishing their last tour around the globe. The single ‘Blame It On My Youth’ sounds like it’s straight from California, with a shallow sound and lacking the characteristic energy that the band is able to produce. On the other side, ‘Happy Days’ could have been on the untitled album. Once again, the influence of these two albums on the band is the blending power in Nine. On the other hand, songs like ‘Generational Divide’, sticking out from the rest of the tracks, almost sound like hardcore punk at times. As a whole, the processed and overproduced sound similar to ‘California’ differs from earlier releases. Many of the tracks are heavily autotuned and end up sounding unnatural. I’m left with the feeling they would greatly profit from a more spontaneous approach. For the most part, blink-182 isn’t that upbeat fast-paced pop punk band anymore. Overall, it remains unclear for whom ‘Nine’ was written: the older generation of fans won’t be attracted to the album, while potential new fans might not be impressed by its exchangeable sound. It is not necessarily a bad album, but it lacks substance and is, sadly, somewhat forgettable. Blink 182: Nine by Mike Stebens

p. 10 gaming and tech | psychopolitics PANOPTICOA SHORT REVIEW OF i. Panopticon · [πaν (“all”) + όπτικός (“visible”)] Jeremy Bentham designed a prison in 1791. The circular design made all prisoners visible and exposed to a single security guard who stood at the centre. The gaze was unilateral; the inmates could not see the security guard, nor could they know when or if the guard was watching. Thus, the burden of the gaze was constant. They behaved as if they were under constant surveillance. Even if there was no guard, the inmates regulated their own behaviour. Big Brother – He Who Is Always Watching – was interiorised. Power was visible but unverifiable. Jeremy Bentham called his design the Panopticon. ii. Foucault · [/’fu:kou/ FOO-koh] Jeremy Bentham’s prison was never built. Yet the panopticon should not be understood as a building, but as a mechanism of power. The philosopher Michel Foucault identified the panoptic structure in modern institutions such as prisons, psychiatric wards, workplaces, schools and hospitals. Built upon a panoptic structure, force and repression become redundant. Observation will constrain the prisoner to good behaviour, the madman to silence, the worker to work, the schoolboy to study and the patient to regulations. The panoptic structure thus became a disciplinary power. iii. Discipline · [disciplina: instruction, knowledge] For Foucault, power in our society is exercised through disciplinary means. Discipline is a mechanism of power which regulates t h e t h o u g h t and behaviour o f s o c i a l individuals through subtle means. The panoptic nature of discipline is found i n t h e fact that disc-iplinary power is invisible while its subjects are imposed compulsory visibility. It is the subjects who must be seen. Discipline functions through the construction of space (e.g. the way a prison or classroom is built) and time (e.g. expected work hours). Disciplinary power is woven into our everyday activities. When its force is internalised and turns habitual, it becomes invisible. Instead of torturing the body, disciplinary power yokes it into a system of norms. Thus, unlike the sovereign forces of antiquity, power today works quietly. iv. Power · [potēre: to be able] a. Antiquity [coercive] Coercion and violence are the most direct and immediate forms of power. They are the explicit negation of freedom. It uses force to restrict and to command. In this definition, powerholders impose their own will against the will of others through force. This form of power is of the lowest order as it relies on violence. It is only violence which is necessary to confront and overthrow it. This weakness has caused this form of coercive violence to be forgotten in antiquity. b . E n l i g h t e n m e n t · [disciplinary] Disciplinary power is normative power. It subjects the individual to a set of rules, and eliminates deviations from the norms. Although not explicitly coercive, disciplinary power is still based on restriction – it still inhibits. It is a power which manifests itself in the architecture and dailiness of society. It becomes habitual and internalised. Working quietly but efficiently, it is the subtle negation of freedom. The Enlightenment took as principle that through observation, new knowledge is produced. In Foucault’s view, knowledge and power are interconnected. In the Enlightenment, to study is to dissect, compartmentalise, atomise and categorise. Power is thus attained through fragmentation, as it allows every movement to be supervised and all events to be recorded. Surveillance then becomes normalised and results in acceptance of regulations and docility. c. Neoliberalism · [permissive] Traditional power is coercive. Disciplinary power is restrictive. Today, neoliberal power is assuming increasingly permissive forms. It says ‘Yes’ more than it says ‘No’. Through its appearance of friendliness, power is shedding its negativity and presenting itself under the guise of freedom. Neoliberal power does not operate against the will of individuals, it is seductive. It is a surveillance camera with a sense of humour. It is a form of power which utilises freedom for its own ends. v. Biopolitics · [βiος (“life”) + Πολιτικά (“affairs of the cities”)] Disciplinary power has discovered the population as a productive mass to be administered and regulated. Biopolitics is a technology of power for regulating the masses. It socialises the body in its productive capacity. Capitalist production necessitates biopolitics to sustain itself. The corporal and the biological must be observed, subjected and controlled to convert the global mass – the disorderly population – into an orderly and categorised organisation of bodies. vi. Psychopolitics · [ψυχή (“soul”) + Πολιτικά (“affairs of the cities”)] While capitalism focuses on the organisation of bodies, neoliberalism – as a developed or mutated form of capitalism – has discovered the psyche as a productive force. Neoliberalism enhances productivity not through the discipline of the body, but through the optimisation of the mind. Neoliberalism promotes selfoptimisation to function within the system. Neoliberal psychopolitics is a technology of domination that perpetuates the dominant system by means of psychological steering. vii. Auto-Subjugation · [αuτός (“self”) + sub- (“under”) + iugum (“yoke”)] In neoliberal psychopolitics, one must eliminate functional weaknesses and inhibitions therapeutically to enhance efficiency and performance. However, such perpetual self-optimisation is destructive. Deterioration in mental health such as depression and anxieties are symptomatic of neoliberalism’s exploitation of the psyche. Thus, selfoptimisation amounts to nothing but self-exploitation. The individuals require no master because they subject themselves – they are absolute slaves. The spectacle of happiness, fitness by Martin Hare Michno illustration by Arturo Espinosa

p. 11 gaming and tech | psychopolitics ON FOREVER TECHNOLOGY AND POWER and health promoted by social media is the force behind self-optimisation/ subjugation. The spectacle is produced, legitimised, sustained and re-produced through a system of ‘Likes’, ‘Followers’ and ‘Shares’. This system also enables the quantification of social communication. Thus, to self-optimise is to quantify oneself. vii. Dataism · [datum: “thing given”] All (re-)productions and consumptions have been quantified. Consequently, the self too has been quantified. Quantification is the logic of the neoliberal market; it governs the digital age. The popularity of digital self-tracking and self-monitoring has led to the fetishization of data. Dataism empties the self and life of all meaning, much like Dadaism emptied language of meaning. Dataism is nihilism. Meaning is based on narration, but data is solely additive. It fills the emptied self with numbers. When data is commodified or exchanged, selftracking becomes self-surveillance. The digitalised subject is a panopticon in itself. Through self-quantification and the quantification of the self, the individual is subject to perpetual autosurveillance. The panoptic structures of social networks are thus revealed. viii. Big Data · [01101101 01100001 01100111 01101110 01110101 01110011 00100000 01100100 01100001 01110100 01110101 01101101] Big Data is the digital panopticon. Big Data is an extremely large database that may be analysed to reveal patterns, trends and associations in human behaviour an interaction. The data collected is willingly shared by us through our selfsurveillance. Big Data wears a friendly face. It asks, ‘Hi, how can I help you?’. Bentham designed a panopticon which was confined to the surveillance of the physical; the digital panopticon can peer into the human soul. Big Data has collected all of our quantified activities – our data – and has painted a profile of us. Big Data can use all of our data to conclude our emotional state, our political ideologies and our desires. Big Data can even intervene in our psychic processes and influence or steer our future behaviour. Big Data can render the collective unconscious accessible. Big Data is the Big Brother we never had. “F o r h u m a n beings to be able to act freely, the future must be open. However, Big Data is making it possible to predict human behaviour. This means that the future is becoming calculable and controllable. […] Indeed, persons are being positivized into things, which can be quantified, measured and steered. Needless to say, no thing can be free. But at the same time, things can be more transparent than persons. Big Data has announced the end of the person who possesses free will.” – ByungChul Han, Psychopolitics: Neoliberalism and New Technologies of Power <3 The Event · [?????????] The event is the rupture from Big Data. It defies all calculation and prediction. Big Data is blind to the event. If the digital panopticon feeds upon patterns quantified patterns of behaviour, then the event is what is statistically unlikely – the singular, the unique – which will emancipate the self-subjugated individual. Freedom comes from the event. Nietzsche writes of statistics, the data of the Enlightenment, “Yes, it proves how vulgar and disgustingly uniform the masses are. You should have kept statistics in Athens! Then you would have sensed the difference!” The event is the overthrow of domination, the revolution, the usurpation of power, the appropriation of a vocabulary against those who had once used it, the possibility of possibilities, the emancipation of the subject, the re-constellation of Being.

p. 12 gaming and tech | review Epictetus might say of Little Misfortune that she is a little soul, carrying around a corpse. He might even say this of the entire game, for it is not only the loveable protagonist who is constituted by duality but the plot, design and mechanics too. The creators Natalia and Isak Martinsson have dusted off the ancient artistic formula which has yet to fail in millennia – contrast. Contrast is almost intuitive. The effect caused by the clashing waves of two opposites has resonated for centuries; one might even argue that there is something to be said about contrast and the human condition. In the philosophy of Hegel, contrast is used regarding his idea of the dialectic, which is defined as a contradiction between ideas. This contrast between two ideas leads to a third. Thus, when a thesis is juxtaposed with its antithesis, there results an inevitable syn-thesis. The Soviet filmmaker Sergei Eisenstein wrote that “the juxtaposition of two shots by splicing them together resembles not so much the simple sum of one shot plus another – as it does a creation”. So, what kind of contrasts do we find in Little Misfortune? And what is the inevitable effect of these contrasts? It seems to me that pretty much every significant aspect in the game exists in contrast to another. We can start with Little Misfortune herself – a little lady who waddles and toddles through an unforgiving life, sprinkling glitter on dead crows and repeating cute catchphrases in horrific situations. The obvious contrast here between the Innocent and the Macabre is the overarching theme of the game. Even in their earlier game, Fran Bow, the developers explored the ‘childhoodterror’ genre and relied heavily on the perversion of innocence. Little Misfortune’s naïve relationship to the horrid world around her, however, soon becomes tiresome. The writers saturate the effect when trying too hard to be excessively dark (read: “edgy”), and relying too much on a superficial shock-factor which adds nothing to her character or the game in general. Generally, KillMonday Games should think about being more subtle with their approach to the contrast between the macabre and the innocent. Nevertheless, the most crucial contrast between the two is actually the most subtle. It is easy to forget that Misfortune’s existence is physical and material, while Mr Voice’s existence is mental or immaterial. The duality between the material and the spiritual has been discussed mercilessly in the field of philosophy. Of course, the division of Mind and Body has great implications, and thus we should not take it lightly – even in a game like Little Misfortune. For the French philosopher Descartes, while the body is a material substance, the mind is an immaterial substance which engages in activities beyond the laws of physics. In the game, Misfortune seems to embody the material and Mr Voice the immaterial of Descartes dualism. Indeed, Mr Voice foretells the future and speaks directly to the player, implying he exists beyond Misfortune’s reality. His prophecy of Misfortune’s death and a world beyond her life thus gives rise to another contrast: Life and Death. Mr Voice wants to play a game with Misfortune, and promises her Eternal Happiness if she completes it. It is easy to apply a religious interpretation to the game, where a certain god-like voice promises Paradise if the right choices are made throughout your time spent on Earth. However, this analogy can only go so far. It seems to me that an existential perspective can take us further, as we must remember what Mr Voice tells us very early on in the game: “There is no right or wrong, only consequences”. Thus, unlike in religious philosophy, where morality is pre-determined, Little Misfortune’s world has no pre-existing right and wrong choices – only consequences. Perhaps it is this existential quality of Little Misfortune’s world which makes it so void of empathy. None of Misfortune’s choices actually change her inevitable fate. The effect of juxtaposing two choices is thus anguish. The player is offered no easy answer, no obvious “right” choice. All the player can do is act, and they must carry with them the burden of freedom. Just like in Fran Bow, two opposite worlds seemingly collide in the game. One might argue that it is a clash between the light, material, natural, ephemeral world and the dark, spiritual, unnatural, eternal world. It is implied that Little Misfortune transitions from one world to another on a boat with a ghastly figure who strongly reflects the Greek Charon carrying the souls of mortals over the River Styx and into the Underworld. However, it is worth considering the possibility that these worlds do not exist separately or independently from one another, but are rather intertwined in a complex web of realities. After all, Mr Voice might be from another immaterial world, but he nevertheless exists in Misfortune’s material reality. Similarly, life and death are not two independent states, but rather where one ends and the other begins is unclear. We cannot be too sure when Misfortune dies; while her body dies early on the game, we continue to play as Misfortune, perfectly alive. Thus, we return to Epictetus and his haunting words: “You are a little soul, carrying a corpse”. Little Misfortune - Review Elegy to the memory of an unfortunate lady If ever there was a story whose subject was paradise And whose theme was its loss, by Martin Hare Michno It is this. photo courtesy of Killmonday Games

p. 13 Foodstory Zero Foodstory Zero is, as the name suggests, a zero-waste restaurant in the Taylor Building that took over from one of the Tiki cafes. It’s a branch of Foodstory on Thistle street, which is a vegetarian restaurant that also hosts a shop on the upper floor. Aiming towards being zero-waste, they do not offer any takeaway cups, plates, or boxes. If you are eating in they will have cutlery for you to use, but if you wish to takeaway you’ll have to bring your own mugs and containers. If you don’t have a mug, they sell their own branded keep-cups. The hot chocolate is made from what looks like melted chocolate rather than chocolate powder. It has a nice, strong taste and is all in all very well-rounded. It’s a comforting hot chocolate, both on a physical and emotional level, that will leave you a happier person. Price: £3 (no sizes since you bring your own cup) Opening Hours: Mon-Fri 09.00-15.30 (16.30 on Tuesdays) Kilau Kilau is a two-storey cafe located on High Street. It took me way too long to realise that it had an upper floor, and perhaps the best feature of the place is the garden upstairs. During spring-time and summer, it is definitely one of the cosiest places to eat. Kilau also seems to be most people’s favourite, attracting students and staff alike. The cafe, just like Foodstory, has a very genuine feel, and you can tell that they care about sustainability. Their takeaway cups are compostable, and they sell their own thermo-mugs, which you get a discount if you use. The hot chocolate holds a very high standard. It is what you expect and more, and you always get it at the right temperature - it’s hot but you can enjoy it immediately without burning your tongue. It’s the go-to to-go place for hot chocolate. Price: Small £2.75, Medium £2.95, Large £3.15 (5% discount with their branded takeaway cups) Opening Hours: Takeaway: MonFri 08.00-17.00 / cafe Mon-Fri 10.00- 19.00, Sat 10.00-17.00 MacRobert’s This is perhaps the most underrated cafe on the list. I remember when I started uni in 2016 that it was a quite bland Tiki restaurant, with not much personality to it. Now, however, they have somehow managed to get the entrance hall to seem like an actual cafe, w i t h a redesign of the entire place. Here, there is not a ‘sit-in’ alternative available, which means that if you don’t have your own cup, there is a ‘Not smugged up?’ extra price for the disposable cup. The immediate thought after taking a sip of their hot chocolate is that it just tastes right. It really hits home to what hot chocolate should be like, having that richness we look for while still not being too much. So please do try it next time you make your way by Macrobert. Price: Regular £2.75, Large £3.20 (and an additional £0.35 for a disposable cup) Opening hours: Mon - Fri 08.30- 15.45 Starbucks Coming from a tiny place in Sweden, it felt insane that we had a Starbucks on our very own campus, as I had needed to travel over an hour by train to get to the closest one at home. But, as we know, Starbucks is nothing unusual here, and I might go as far as to say that it is a bit overrated. The cafe itself is nice, roomy and a great place to catch up with friends or do group work with people you don’t know that well. When it comes to the hot chocolate, it is still very nice as well, but it is a bit bland compared to some others on this list. I enjoy it every time I’m there, but after having ventured further on campus, it is not the best. Price: Small £2.75, Medium £2.95, Large £3.25 (Disposable cup costs 5p, save 25p by using your own) Opening Hours: Mon-Thur 09.00- 18.00, Fri 09.00-17.00 Shelter Shelter is another relatively new cafe on campus, located on the top of High Street opposite the King’s Museum. It has two floors; downstairs they have a few window seats and upstairs there is room for about sixteen people to sit. I have not been there too many times, but it is clear when you visit it that it has already become a popular place to hang out and get something to eat and drink. Sitting upstairs you can enjoy a great view of the street outside through the large windows and it is, all in all, a very comfortable size. Their hot chocolate probably has the most distinct taste out of them all. It is hard to say exactly what it is, but if you imagine the normal taste being brown, this has a sting of being a deep purple. It is different from what you expect, but not in a bad way, so it is definitely worth a try. You also get a piece of mint chocolate with your hot drink, which shows that they are going the extra mile. Price: Medium £2.50, Large £2.75 Opening Hours: Mon-Fri 08.00-18.00, Sat 10.00-17.00, Sun 11.00-17.00 Union Brew Union Brew is AUSA’s bar, located on the ground floor of the Students’ Union Building. This has also been redesigned and renovated since I started uni, and I think it has been a pleasant change. During uni hours it is almost always packed with students, creating a nice buzz on the ground floor. You can have your drink both to sit-in and to-go, but if you are needing a disposable cup it will come with an extra charge. The hot chocolate is better than you would expect a bar to serve, and they make it very nicely. It is comfortably hanging in the middle taste-wise, as it is not bland yet not a taste sensation. Price: Medium £2.30, Large £2.80 Opening Hours: Mon-Fri 08.30-19.00 Hardback cafe (aka Sir Duncan Rice Library cafe) Many might not know its real name, but I doubt any student at Aberdeen uni has managed to miss the cafe on the ground floor of the Rice Cube. There are some tables and chairs to sit at, as well as window seats, but despite this, there is no ‘sit-in’ alternative, and a charge is added for not bringing your own cup. It is not a cafe really made for hanging out either, but it is a good option for long hours spent studying. The hot chocolate is not that great, to be completely honest. It passes, but we have gone to Kilau instead to get something better. Still, if you are there, you are tired and you need something, it’s an option. Price: £2.75, Large £3.20 (and an additional £0.35 for a disposable cup) Opening Hours: Mon-Thur 08.30-20, Fri 08.30-17.00 Sat-Sun 11.00-16.00 life and style | hot drinks The ultimate hot chocolate guide We are entering the darker season of the year. It is cold, it is rainy, but it is great. It also means that some drinks are more in season than ever. I don’t like coffee, so I can’t give a verdict on seasonal drinks such as the Pumpkin Spice Latte, but I can, however, give an account for hot chocolate. I love hot chocolate - I drink it all year round, but now we are back at uni, and exams and deadlines will keep us on campus for hours on end. And if you want to find the best hot drink around campus, where do you go? That is what I want to help you with in this guide to hot chocolate. In total, there are seven cafes around campus serving hot chocolate and the following is my tea on their chocolate: by Fanny Olsson photo courtesy of Fanny Olsson The best places to get hot chocolate on campus

p. 14 life and style | food And thus marks the end of this series! We in no way believe everyone should be expected to be vegans and be perfect at it from the start; we simply know that lots of people like to be more conscious of the effects of their purchases and that it can be overwhelming at first. There are a lot of brands out there and then their parent companies and then animal products in their products…it’s a lot. The best advice we can give is to do lots of research first – otherwise you could end up standing in the shop for hours trying to do some speed-Googling. IV’s guide to going vegan by Sarah Shields Duck/goose feather pillows Wool blankets/rugs Wool is one that a lot of people debate over its vegan-ness, and point out that if we replace it with polyester and other plastic materials then we are simply removing the problem of animal rights and replacing it with the environmental issue of plastic use. Wool is not considered vegan because vegans do not believe in using any product that relies on animals for production. Wool sheep are bred in such a way that their wool grows far faster than it used to, which is why they need to be sheared so regularly. Bedding can be a tricky one to source ethically, but a quick bit of background research on the company and their ethics will usually tell you if you should be buying their product. Leather sofas/seats Some vegans consider it perfectly fine to buy leather-containing (and wool-containing) products if they are purchased secondhand because it does not contribute to demand and is less wasteful. Whatever your stance on it, if you buy something new make sure to check the materials on new seats and cushions and rugs. Cruelty-free brands Method Ecover Ecozone Astonish Morrison’s own brand Sainsbury’s own brand Tesco own brand Asda own brand Aldi own brand NOT cruelty-free brands Dettol Brillo Burt’s Bees Pledge Lenor Daz Duck Glade Mr Muscle Beeswax and stearic acid in candles Candles are very difficult to identify as not all the ingredients have to be listed. Rather than trying to work out which candles are vegan and which aren’t on your own, rely on the research already done by bloggers and activists. Some known vegan-friendly candles are: MOST of Yankee’s candles: their website distinguishes which ones use beeswax under Product Details → Specifiations Harper’s Candles Seven Oaks Candle Company Pacifica Soy Candles Flamingo Candles Today, I have decided, is going to be okay, because I have coffee. Not just because of the strong smell that physically wakes you up at, ahem, two o’clock in the afternoon, but because I have gotten up on a bad day, and that home comfort is still there. The expensive habit of buying fancy beans instead of instant aside, it’s something I know I can almost always look forward to. And that reminds me how lucky I am. I’m a fan of historical memoirs, but sometimes instead of being reminded of how lucky I am to have a roof over my head and a dry bed (dodgy leaks my landlord isn’t looking into also aside), I feel saddened when I read them. And it’s not because it’s unnecessarily sad, but because I then feel guilty for everything in life I take for granted. That I can study, I can work, I am loved and, obviously most importantly of all, I have coffee. When you’re a classic depression and anxiety sufferer, everything is translated as negative and you have to put in a conscious effort to break the cycle. So, instead of beating myself up for not spending twenty minutes a day on gratitude, I’ve tried to take the little things that bring me joy and really put them at the forefront of my mind. Amplify them. Allow the cute little quirky things that people make Instagram posts about and just let myself enjoy them. It’s hard to undo years of being a Little Bit Pretentious and admit that the smell of a pumpkin spice candle reminds me of when I first moved into my flat, and thus makes me feel happy, relaxed and in that mood to get some uni work done, but it’s important to do so. Living in a world where you’re always being pushed is exhausting and, for me, definitely anxiety-inducing. If you get Bs you’re encouraged to shoot for an A. If you work thirty-five hours a week, you’re encouraged to strive for forty. If you rent, you’re encouraged to always be thinking ahead to a mortgage. If you’re a staff member, you’re encouraged to be a manager within five years. The people – ourselves included – that pile on these pressures aren’t the ones who are stopping at their coffee machine in the morning and letting the smell tell them everything is going to be okay. Usually, we’re glugging the cup down desperately before we have to be somewhere we’re expected to be human. When you push yourself to always be “better”, to always be doing “more”, you imply that what you’ve already got isn’t enough. And that’s partially why so many of us end up stressed beyond belief: we end up lying in bed at night stressing over every conversation we had and every person we didn’t get back to that day. How many notifications do we have and do they need cleared before we can sleep? How many pieces of coursework do we have in the air that we didn’t spend enough time on today? And, for the love of god, when did we last phone home? After a spell of crying every day about all the balls in the air that I can’t hold all at once, let alone juggle nicely, I’ve gotten up and smelled coffee and been reminded that most of the pressure is in my head, and that it might be beneficial to chill out and give myself a break. Multiple breaks, at that. Today, everything is going to be okay Because I have coffee by Abbie Morrice HOUSEHOLD Welcome to the third and final part of IV’s guide to going vegan! If you feel confident in your choices on skincare, make-up and food, the main category left to consider is the products you buy for your household. It’s a category a lot of us forget to consider, which is completely understandable, because why would you ever stop to consider that your kitchen counter spray has been tested on animals? Aside from brands who test and brands who don’t, there are a few other elements of your home life that may not be vegan-friendly that you hadn’t considered before. photo courtesy of The Advertising Archives

p. 15 1. Black trousers First up on our list and must-have for any type of wardrobe is a basic pair of black trousers. Whether they are dressed up for work or dressed down for an everyday look, this piece of clothing is as flexible as it gets. On top of that, black trousers can be really, really comfy. My personal tip is to get a high-waisted pair, as this makes every outfit look stunning. 2. Blue jeans No introduction needed here. This piece the great majority of you will already own. The good old pair of blue jeans is a staple and not only looks good in everyday outfits,but can also be dressed up when paired with a shirt. Depending on your taste, there are a variety of options out there, from lighter to dark-blue and from the boyfriend to the skinny fit. And in case you want to have some variety in the closet, why not get a washed-out blackand off-white pair of jeans as well. 3. Leather skirt Next up, my personal all-time favourite fall piece: the leather skirt. This piece is a bit more out there, and for the kind of occasions where you just feel like being a bit extra. While the most classic leather skirt is probably the A-line mini, there are many other options to choose from, such as the midi fit or one that is ruffled at the bottom. 4. White shirt Whether styled down with a pair of jeans for the every-day, office-ready with black trousers or combined with a leather skirt for a more romantic look, the white shirt serves on every occasion. My personal two favourites are the silk and cotton pieces. 5. High neck jumper In my opinion if you can only choose one jumper, go with a high-neck option. These will always look classy and put together. If possible invest in a high quality piece with a high amount of wool, something like cashmere, alpaca or merino, to keep cosy in the winter. As for the colour, I personal love cream and beige pieces, but black is another good neutral option. 6. V-Neck jumper When I imagine French-chic, this is what I see. A classic cashmere V-neck, paired with some nice earrings and a cute, dainty necklace. Definitely a must-have! 7. Coats What other way to remain chic in the colder months of the year, than coats. Whether you go for a belted piece to draw more attention to the waist, or for the A-Line option; there are unlimited possibilities. My personal favourites are light cream coats, as they are a contrast to the grey and black coats that make up a majority of coats seen on the street, as well as brighten up the longer hours of darkness going into the colder months. 8. Pile jacket Last up, ‘the sheep’, as it is lovingly dubbed in my flat. This piece is one of the reasons why I love the cold weather. There’s nothing better than cosying up in a huge soft jacket. I find it looks especially great contrasted with the leather mini-skirt. To make the jacket look a bit more sophisticated, go with a high collar. life and style | fashion Are you tired of spending hours choosing the perfect outfit? Capsule Wardrobes are the solution. They are a collection of a certain amount of classic pieces that never go out of style. These pieces vary depending on your individual lifestyle and the climate you are living in. However, they are all basics and can be combined to create a great number of outfits. A capsule wardrobe is therefore not only a good alternative to the fast fashion and consumerism of our modern society, as it allows you to focus on quality over quantity of the individual pieces, but it is also beneficial to have when you are tired of spending so much time each morning wondering if you even have anything to wear. Consisting only of basics, every piece fits with the next so you can just grab the pieces you feel like that day, and will have an awesome outfit ready to go. I will now take a look at my personal top 8 clothing pieces that can serve as the basis for any fall wardrobe, as well as give you some suggestions for what to watch out for when buying these pieces. photo courtesy of peter50 on Flickr incapsulating style an introduction to capsule wardrobe photo courtesy of Anette Kirkeby on Behance.net photo courtesy of Mathieu Desjardins on Behance.net by Julie Isabelle Sulser

p. 16 life and style | spooky event guide What’s on in Aberdeen? Thursday October 17th The Grudge Film screening. 19:30. Kino Bar, Belmont Filmhouse. Tickets £5. 18+ event. October 18th, 19th, 20th, 25th, 26th, 27th, 31st. November 1st, 2nd Carnevil Spooky walkthrough, late night rides and ‘zombie’ laser tag. 18:00-22:00. Codona’s Sunset Boulevard. Wristbands £14.99. 15+ event. Wednesday October 23rd Scream Film screening. 19:30-21:30. Kino Bar, Belmont Filmhouse. Tickets £5. 18+ event. Thursday October 24th Spoooooky Swab Drive Get swabbed and register to be a donor for the Anthony Nolan stem cell register. 09:00-17:00. Sir Duncan Rice Library. Saturday October 26th DragShack Presents: Halloween Spooktacular A night of drag performance and games, complete with a costume contest, made to celebrate the spooky season! 19:00-22:30. The Shack. £5 entry. 18+ event. Sing-A-Long Rocky Horror Picture Show Sing-a-long screening of the film in aid of Me Too! (local charity). Fancy dress encouraged. 19:30-22:00. Tivoli Theatre. Tickets from £18.56. 16+ event. Monday October 28th A Spooky Evening with E. S. Thomson Author E. S. Thomson discusses her new thriller ‘Surgeon’s Hall’. 18:30. Waterstones. Tickets £2 from Eventbrite. Thursday October 31st The Blair Witch Project Film screening. 19:30. Kino Bar, Belmont Filmhouse. Tickets £5. 18+ event. by Abbie Morrice collage by Parel Wilmering; photo courtesy of Malwina Filipczuk

16.10.19 p.9 Machu Picchu may have been purposely built on fault line Recent satellite images may explain why Machu Picchu was built in a remote location I n a recent meeting of the Geological Society of America, Brazillian scientist Rualdo Menegat presented new satellite images and field measurements of the ancient Incan architecture located on the peaks of the Andes. Machu Picchu was revealed to have been built on a network of fault lines spanning 110 miles that lay underneath the archeological site. The answer as to why it was built in such a remote location, approximating to 8000 feet above sea level, might lie in the faults that extend thousands of miles underneath the site. These faults are tectonic fractures in two blocks of rock that span the whole citadel. The opposite orientations of these fault lines, each running northeast to southeast or northwest to southeast, intersect beneath Machu Picchu to form an ‘X’ and are responsible for causing rises in the area. “Machu Picchu’s location is not a coincidence,” says Menegat. “It would be impossible to build such a site in the high mountains if the substrate was not fractured. It is part of a practice of building settlements in a high rocky place.” These fractures created weak zones in the region, allowing water to flow and channeling meltwater from ice and snow to provide the necessary resources for the residents. They were also used to drain any excess water during floods and thunderstorms, therefore preventing any damage to the structures. These fault lines allowed the residents to acquire easy resources, but also to preserve and protect the site from natural disasters. The architects utilized these fractures in the citadel to build structures akin to stairs around it, with fault lines greatly reducing the energy required to carve edifices. The architectural qualities of Machu Picchu make it more important in understanding other Incan sites and structures—for example, Ollantayambo, Pisac and Cusco were discovered to have been built on similar fault lines. This also stresses the importance of protecting both Machu Picchu and other archaeological sites from overtourism, vandalism and theft, with recent plans for a new airport in the area only increasing the risk. Now, this newly-unveiled information may not mean that the Incans had deep knowledge about plate tectonics, but rather sought out these fractured areas for architectural advantages. While the fault lines certainly made it easier for Incan architects, this does not undermine their title as great stone builders. The citadel is still a world heritage site that fascinates tourists and scholars alike, with all travelling from various ends of the world to admire it. Photo coutesy of Carlos Garcia Granthon via Getty Images Machu Picchu was revealed to have been built on a network of fault lines spanning 110 miles that lay underneath the archeological site. by Sofia Sandalli Our Earth's climate crisis Greenland's melting ice sheets and rising sea levels Two thirds of the earth’s surface is covered in water, either frozen or liquid. According to NASA, global temperatures have risen by 0.8 °C since 1880, with 2016 documented as the warmest year on record. Recent reports suggest that in the months of July and August this year, Greenland lost 55 billion tons of ice over 5 days, which is enough to cover the state of Florida. The latest IPCC report suggests that greenhouse gases need to be cut by 30% to prevent melting of the earth’s most northern ice sheets, which would otherwise cause vast human displacement. The report also highlights that increasing global CO2 levels will lead to increased acidity of our oceans, which compromises marine life. Current predictions warn of a 3-5ο C increase by the turn of the century, according to the World Meteorological Organization (WMO). Increases in global temperature have been attributed to what scientists call the ‘greenhouse effect’ which describes the ability of atmospheric CO2 to absorb heat and release it back to the earth’s surface. This causes temperatures to rocket, ice caps to melt, sea levels to rise and weather systems to be disturbed. Furthermore, an increase in global temperature is predicted to increase the thawing rate of permafrost, encouraging unknown volumes of carbon dioxide to be released from the soil. Scientists warn that limiting global warming to < 1.5 ο C, as pledged in the 2015 Paris Agreement, would require cutting CO2 emission by 45% by 2030 and reaching net zero emissions by 2050. Michael Oppenheimer, a climate scientist and author of the UN Special Report on the Ocean and Cryosphere in a Changing Climate, warns “there’s no scenario that stops sea level rise in this century. We’ve got to deal with this indefinitely”. The same report states that sea levels are currently rising at an increased rate and that extreme sea level events are predicted to occur at least once per year (previously once per century) by 2050, particularly in tropical regions. Greenland and Antarctica have been reported to hold more than 99% of the world's fresh water in their ice sheets, according to the National Snow and Ice Data Center. Scientist Andy Aschwanden, lead author and research associate professor at the University of Alaska Fairbanks’ Geophysical Institute, predicts that if no major reduction of our carbon footprint occurs, Greenland will be lost within the next century. Complete loss of Greenland’s ice sheets would lead to a global sea level rise of 7 metres, not including the volume of ice melting in Antarctica. Furthermore, water expands when it warms, making it hard to accurately predict the total rise in global sea level. Areas that are at particularly high risk of flooding over the course of the century include Bangladesh and eastern England. Ongoing research led by Dr Masashi Niwano, a researcher with the Japan Meteorological Agency, aims to minimise unforeseen effects of climate change and enable vulnerable communities to prepare any adverse weather conditions. Environmental organisations continue to study the effects of global warming in extreme landscapes such as Greenland, where an ice sheet, seven times the size of the UK, resides. Researchers in Greenland warn that whilst planting 6,000 saplings of Siberian larch may be a great start-up project in tackling climate change, a worldwide effort to replace forestland and conserve natural habitats is needed to "make a dent" in climate change. The next IPCC report, due for release in 2021, hopes to unveil newer prediction methods and indicate faster warming than previously indicated, according to Robert DeConto, a glaciologist at the University of Massachusetts in Amherst. Meanwhile, Ted Schuur, a report author and permafrost ecologist at Northern Arizona University, has reminded us that “(whilst) the rapidity of change sometimes leads people to think it’s too late. . . it’s not.” by Holly Leslie There’s no scenario that stops sea level rise in this century. We’ve got to deal with this indefinitely.

p.10 16.10.19 Who governs Peru? Peru is currently in the midst of a major political crisis. Last week, President Martín Vizcarra dissolved parliament, which the opposition considered unlawful. They appointed Vice-President Mercedes Aráoz as acting leader. Aréoz, however, resigned from this position only a few hours later. What is behind this tumult? The crisis was triggered by a disagreement over the appointment of constitutional judges. President Vizcarra, member of the centre-right party Peruvians for Change, tried to push a reform of the procedure for the appointment of judges through Congress. This formed part of a series of anti-corruption reforms, which the right-wing party Popular Force has been continuously blocking. In order to put his reform plan to question before Congress, where the opposition is in the majority, Vizcarra made use of a procedure which is constitutionally controversial; he connected the vote on his reform proposal to a vote of no confidence. The parliamentarians refused to follow the president, which Vizcarra took as reason to dissolve parliament. He announced new elections for January 2020. The parliamentarians themselves describe Vizcarra’s actions as a coup d’état. However, Mercedes Aráoz, whom the opposition swore in as acting leader, already resigned on Wednesday night, saying that ‘the constitutional order is broken’ - a severe setback for Congress. Vizcarra himself has many supporters among the Peruvian population. His anti-corruption course is well received in Peru, a country that is deeply affected by the scandal surrounding the Brazilian construction company Odebrecht. Odebrecht is said to have bribed Peruvian Congress members and former presidents for years. Vizcarra now claims Congress is blocking anti-corruption reforms because they are protecting themselves and colleagues from arrest. It is clear that Peruvians are tired of those corruption scandals, and approve of Vizcarra’s call for fresh elections. The police forces and military also stand behind the President, who seems to be firmly in charge despite the Congress’s protests. Peruvian journalist Augusto Álvarez Rodrich says the dissolution of Congress might only make Vizcarra stronger: ‘He is constructing a power base through his relation with the people who are very angry about corruption in the country’. Nevertheless, what follows now is a time of uncertainty for Peru, at least until the January elections, which ought to bring clarity to its political future. by Sarah-Marie Thomas The plastic-free village, local eco initiatives can set examples I ndia’s Prime Minister Narendra Modi wants to phase out single use plastics by 2022, but a village of 6,000 in the country’s south-western Karnataka state has already done it. In something of a parallel to Greta Thunberg’s rise as Sweden’s green icon, it was the children of Anchatgeri, Dharwad district, that took the lead in collecting plastic bottles from the streets after village official Basavaraj Shivappa Bidanal announced a 2 rupee reward for each. A few months later, the streets, previously littered with single-use bags, cups and bottles, are clear. Bidanal told the Deccan Herald that he was laughed at by adults in the village when he proposed banning plastics. He’d become increasingly concerned at carcinogen content in them, following a rise of cancer cases in the village which seemed to mirror the increase in plastic water bottles being drunk out of and ending up in the local ecosystem. After talking to school children about the problem and offering the reward, they began collecting in earnest, collecting not only plastics they’d found in the street, but from their own homes. Anchatgeri’s crushed plastic is now being recycled to make plastic roofs for buildings, and as an element of road surfacing. Other initiatives by the Gram Panchayat (village council) include provision of stainless-steel drinking tanks and cups for schools and, with a grant from the state government, provision of sewing machines to kickstart a local cottage industry in cloth bag making. Thanks to his initiatives, Bidanal was honoured by Prime Minister Modi at a ceremony to mark the 150th birth anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi earlier this month. Now other Indian villages are taking similar initiatives, such as Lachun in the Himalayan state of Sikkim, which has focussed on tourists who, a local official said, bring their bad habits of disposing plastics in streams and rivers with them. Plastic waste consumption in India is 11kg per head per year compared to the world average of 28kg. The highest figure is in the USA, where it is an astonishing 109kg. However, a recent survey by the UN found the rivers Indus and Ganges carry around a quarter of a million tons of plastic waste into the sea every year, some of the highest amounts in the world. The successes in India show not only that recycling policies implemented at the most local level can have a snowball effect, but also that it is often the youngest members of a community that can kickstart change in the face of adult cynicism and ingrained habits. by Jake Roslin Powder-Keg in the Middle East threatens global economy I n an interview with “60 Minutes“, Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman warned the global economy that oil prices will increase if no significant effort is undertaken to stop Iran from provoking war. The powder-keg in the Middle East came closer to a detonation on the 14th of September, when Saudi Arabia’s Aramco’s biggest oil facilities were targeted. Seven cruise missiles and 18 drones were fired on oil facilities in Abqaiq and Khurais, paralysing 5% of global oil supply and causing oil prices to increase by 20%. Immediately afterwards, Yemen’s Iranaligned Houthi rebels confessed to the attack. The US and Saudi Arabia blamed Iran, which denied all claims, increasing the fear of possible war. The attacks on oil facilities raise questions about the Yemen conflict, which escalated in 2015. It can be seen as a proxy conflict between Saudi Arabia and Iran, two countries that face each other both geographically and politically. Saudi Arabia is supporting Yemen militarily, and Iran is supporting the Houthi rebels. Furthermore, the alliance between the US and Saudi Arabia corresponds to a marriage of convenience, trading cheap oil against military support. A week after the attack, the US promised to send troops to Saudi Arabia to support the defence against further attacks. The Saudi Prince said the Middle East region “represents about 30% of the world’s energy supplies, about 20% of global trade passages, about 4% of the world GDP”. According to him, war in the Gulf region would lead to a total collapse of the global economy. After the US withdrew from the Iran nuclear deal in May 2018, US-Iran tensions increased. Mohammed bin Salman noticed that “if the world does not take a strong and firm action to deter Iran, we will see further escalations that will threaten world interests”. Implying an offer of peace talks as a political solution to the civil war in Yemen, he urged Iran to cease its support for Houthi rebels. The prince also addressed the murder of the Saudi journalist Mr Khashoggi, who criticized the government and was killed in Saudi Arabia’s consulate in Turkey on 2 October 2018. He confirmed to “take full responsibility as a leader in Saudi Arabia, especially since it [the killing] was committed by individuals working for the Saudi government”, but denied personally ordering it. In an effort to get Saudi Arabia out of its international isolation, the Prince urged the world that failure to act would strengthen Iran, leading to war which would be catastrophic for the global economy. by Hannah Kickert Change in government in Pakistan Dr. Maleeha Lodhi, formerly the Permanent Representative (PR) of Pakistan to the United Nations General Assembly (UNGA), has been replaced by Mr. Munir Akram. The replacement came after the prime minister, Imran Khan’s, return from the UNGA in New York. Speculators suggested that perhaps Dr. Lodhi had been sacked, given what appeared to be her disapproval of the Prime Minister's stance at the UN conference on the Kashmir issue. However, Foreign Office (FO) spokesperson, Dr Muhammad Faisal, clarified that no such thinking was afoot. Instead, he said the matter was simply of Dr. Lodhi's tenure coming to an end. He added, about Dr. Lodhi, "She completed her tenure and as the Foreign Minister (FM) has said, she served Pakistan with distinction and commitment and she organised the Prime Minister's successful UNGA visit with skill and dedication." The replacement, Mr. Akram, is a time-honed diplomat himself. He served with the UN in Geneva and New York, including the very same role from 2002 to 2008. Additionally, he has also toured Brussels and Tokyo as part of various Pakistani missions. However, his antiIndia stance and assault of his girlfriend has tarnished his reputation, raising a slander campaign against his appointment. Dr. Faisal, the FO spokesperson, however has said, "Unfortunately, there has been a slander campaign against the appointment of Ambassador Munir Akram, which is reprehensible. It must be noted that he is a distinguished and experienced member of the Foreign Services of Pakistan, and an eminent diplomat." Mr. Akram is the recipient of the prestigious Hilal-i-Quaid-Azam, amongst the highest civilian honours in Pakistan, for his performance and contributions. by Robass Zia Photo courtesy of Ian L Wikicommons Photo courtesy of Ministerio de la Produccion via Flickr

16.10.19 p.11 Stay home, globetrotter I am a 22-year-old student and at the moment, like so many of my peers, I am slowly but steadily developing an ecological conscience - thank you social media, thank you David Attenborough, thank you Greta. On the journey of living a more ecofriendly life, I have been able to adopt many lifestyle choices quite easily. I never really liked meat anyway - I gave it up from one day to the next, and I love experimenting with vegan recipes. I don’t remember the last time I bought a coffee-to-go, or when I went into a fast-fashion clothing store. I get my veggies plastic-free, and I showed up to the global climate strike. You might think I’m praising myself, but to be quite honest, I’m not really a coffee-drinker anyway, and what drew me to charity-shopping in the first place were the low prices and the fun of it, not the ecological aspect. We only ever go as far as it doesn’t really hurt, don’t we? And I know my personal pain limit very well. Until about a year ago, my ecological conscience started at home and ended at the airport. Once I had realised travelling doesn’t have to be expensive, if you only know how to use Skyscanner the right way, I felt like the world was at my feet, waiting for me to explore every single corner of it. One part of my brain was specifically dedicated to all the travel destinations on my bucket list, only one click away. My mum calls me a globetrotter, not without a hint of pride in her voice. In other words, I love travelling - and I am very much aware that this is the most generic, basic and predictable thing to say in this world, especially in my generation. I dare you to find me one millennial that doesn’t love travelling - it’s our universal hobby, it’s everybody’s passion. It’s in our Instagram feeds and tinder bios, it’s part of our identity as global, adventurous, openminded citizens. We all know what’s problematic about this, but here are some facts anyway. The environmental cost of air travel is unbelievably high. A Guardian analysis has recently found that ‘a long-haul flight generates more carbon emissions than the average person in dozens of countries around the world produces in a whole year’. And it’s not just about CO2 emissions - many other aviation emissions have additional warming effects on the climate, such as producing nitrogen oxides and water vapor. Climate change expert Stefan Gössling says that ‘on an individual level, there is no other human activity that emits as much over such a short period of time as aviation, because it is so energy-intensive’. Cancelling only a single transatlantic flight has a more positive impact on our environment than not eating meat for a full year. When these arguments and calculations are brought up, it usually triggers the following defensive reaction: Why are we targeting, if not blaming, the individual? Isn’t it up to the politicians to make changes? The big corporations? I fully agree that we are in desperate need of system change, managed by democracy. But as of now, politics is moving slowly, and politicians are ignoring the urgency of the situation. It is up to us, as citizens, to exemplify the change we want to see in the world. Why wait for politicians to wake up, if there are things we can do now that will have a considerable positive impact on our climate? We cannot ignore politicians’ responsibility, but simultaneously, we shouldn’t use this as an excuse to leave our individual behaviour unquestioned. Having all this in the back of my mind, I found myself starting to become uncomfortable with the idea of flying. This doesn’t mean I stopped - I just avoided posting Instagram stories from the airport. The Swedes have their own word for it: flight shame (‘flygskam’). But why was airplane travel that one thing that I just couldn’t let go of? I have come to the conclusion that a big part of it is social pressure. Not the kind of pressure you get when you’re on a night out and you don’t want to drink. The pressure to travel, and to travel far, is a lot more subtle. Here’s the thing: I know there exist many, many places in Scotland, my home country Germany and the whole of Europe that are very much worth visiting and easily accessible by coach or train, and whenever I have the option to use another means of transportation than the airplane, I take it. But for some reason, I have it ingrained in my mind that I will not have lived my life to the fullest if I have not been to exotic, far-away places. Somewhere between my friend’s social media posts about their safaris in Africa and travel agency ads selling ‘the time of my life’ in Australia, I learned that to make the most of my young life, I have to travel often and as far as possible. When have people become obsessed with counting ‘their countries’, ticking them off their lists or scratching them free on the world map over their bed? It seems like the worst thing to happen is to be on one’s deathbed without ever having hiked Machu Picchu, or seen the Niagara Falls. Been to Italy this summer? Cool. Been to Indonesia? A lot cooler. I have decided not to buy into this commercial fear of missing out any longer. Does this mean I’ll never step on a plane again? No. If there ever was an emergency at home, or if I had family living far away, I’d willingly step on a plane to get to where I need and want to be. And maybe, every couple of years, I will go and explore a country outside of Europe. But for now, I have made it my new project to discover those travel destinations that are right at my fingertips, in Europe. Because yes, we have the world at our feet. But we should try to stop stomping on it. by Sarah-Marie Thomas The troubles of travelling by air Photo courtesy of Karen Arnold Soap or subterfuge? There comes a point in every persons’ life where they must purchase some soap, and in this modern world, there are so many options to choose from, ranging from cheap and cheerful supermarket brands, to high-end, luxury scented soaps. But of course, being the environmentally conscious, eco-friendly student that you are, there’s really only one brand to consider – LUSH. Now, make no mistakes about it, this is no advertisement, although the products made by LUSH use natural ingredients, and zero packaging creates zero consumer waste, there is one huge problem I have with many of the soaps available for purchase. A dilemma which keeps me awake at night. I want to eat them. Now I’m not crazy, I do really know, that somewhere deep in the dark recesses of my mind that the soap on display isn’t food, but it’s also really not my fault that they make it to look just so damn appetising. Fake food isn’t a new phenomenon, for example there is a huge industry in creating realistic food for adverts. PVA glue is often used to simulate milk! But LUSH really takes the cake in making soap that looks like cake without even trying. Let’s start with some of the basic, but probably delicious tasting soap bars. “Each Peach” and “Hottie” are clearly thick slabs of rich white chocolate that would rival anything Cadbury makes, and the “Scrubee” bee-themed bar is just a scaled up version of those white chocolate mice that you’d find in your 50p mix bag. Maybe you’d prefer a more grown-up dessert in the “Ro’s Argan,” a presumably rich, velvety chocolate fudge brownie, topped with what can only be assumed to be walnuts. Maybe all this talk of chocolate you can’t even eat is making you crave a healthier snack? “Oatifix” is so obviously a big, hearty bowl of freshly made humus, just waiting for you to dip some breadsticks in, you’ll almost forget it’s supposed to be a face mask. Let’s not forget the worst offenders; LUSH’s avocado soap, which you would be so easily forgiven for mistaking as a huge wheel of creamy edam cheese, complete with a bright red wax seal, or “Sultana of Soap” a rich, crumbly wensleydale with real-deal cranberries and apricots to further blur the line between food and fiction. We live in strange times. While we are constantly being told what we can and can’t eat, on the grounds of being too unhealthy, or too fatty, or too poisonous, the demand for deceptive, food-themed lies has never been higher. Let’s not forget the unfortunately named urinal cakes. Truly, the strongest possible test of will in our society is walking into a LUSH store, and not taste testing the produce. Although anyone who tries to eat a bath bomb is mad. by Mark Velvet Or how I learned to stop worrying and eat soap

16.10.19 DISCLAIMER All opinions expressed in the opine section are those of the authors of the articles and do not necessarily represent views held by The Gaudie, AUSA, or any company which advertises in The Gaudie. p.12 Just coffee Coffee. The sustenance of student life, morning, noon and night. Great for… just about everything, from hangovers, all-nighters, dates, hand warmers’ and generally as a go-to beverage. It tastes great, improves concentration and response time (I’ve actually studied this personally) and is the ultimate social glue. But why are there so many options? My first issue with coffee is, surprisingly, it’s versatility. I just spent a week in Italy, the home of traditionally great coffee and you know what I was offered (and drank) five times a day? Espresso. Good ol’ espresso and it hit the mark every damn time. Starbucks, however, has over fifteen types of beans, and over thirty coffee-based drinks! That’s not even all the caffeinated ones, but I don’t actually have a problem with tea. Iced, hot, milk, sugar and occasionally flavoured. These are the only questions you will ever get asked about tea - no one is going to hassle you on the semantics of shots, how your milk is added, where your milk is added, why your milk is added. Why do we need so many? Are you a tea drinker or a coffee drinker? Say coffee and the question is answered, but I’d bet all my SAAS money there are personality differences based on whether you’re happy with your black americano or you’d rather have an “extra skinny, double shot latte with one caramel and two hazelnut shots” – which someone has genuinely asked me for at my job as a waitress for a tiny café in the middle of nowhere. Second issue. Having a favourite is pointless. Over the summer I picked up an extra job as a barista, nothing too complicated, the usual latte, cappuccino, mocha, americano, flat white and macchiato (I had to learn what this was); however, you’ll imagine my surprise when my boss asked me to make a latte, and following the protocol of my first job, I made one. Wrong. Place to place, every singular type changes, so what’s the point in going through the hassle of choosing in the first place? It’s pointless. Being employed in the tourism industry, a side problem of the range is that most people who come in ask me for coffee. English speaking or not, I am obliged by my job to figure out which one you want, to give you the ultimate coffee experience, which is frankly just stressful for both parties and from what I’ve found after 50 customers a day, people want a cappuccino or espresso. They’re happy with that. Please, can the industry stop making it so damn complicated. Less is more, no? The preconceived belief you make, is the reason why some places have coffee that tastes brilliant and some that are complete garbage, and since there’s no way to control what kind the company is going to churn out - unless you’d risk telling the barista to ‘swirl it a little more, and make sure you tap before you pour, and don’t let an un-warmed mug cool it down too quickly’ - you may as well give up now. I want caffeine. Just caffeine. So I’ll stick to my black americano as I pour in twentythree little sugar packets to make them all taste like the sweet, hot mess I need to get through my day. by Paige Hallows It's all caffeine, who cares how it's made? Photo courtesy of voigtländer Vitoret D Photo courtesy of Paolo Asi Guide dogs against Brexit B Brexit is forecast to impact the UK in ways that few could not have predicted. Medicine and food shortages, increased alcohol pricing, traffic delays and an upsettingly low amount of tomatoes are just a few of the effects that may soon face us all. However, instead of focussing on such issues, I thought a less prevalent one was worth discussing. But before we get into it, I must ask you one question. A question that many claim to know the answer to. A question that you alone should answer with no input from such claimants. Could Brexit get any worse? The answer is yes, it absolutely could. Despite the constant spate of bad news regarding the UK’s departure from Brussels, I may have stumbled across its most appalling consequence yet: seasick guide dogs. And we all know that the only thing worse than a poorly dog is a poorly dog with a job to do and a limited ability to do it. However, this isn’t set in stone. It is only in the case of the UK leaving without a deal that this will occur. So, if there ever was a reason to hold a second referendum or reverse it altogether, here it is. You’re welcome Mrs Swinson. And if that doesn’t sway you, then you must simply not like dogs, and more specifically, dogs that help the visually impaired. But getting back to the whole Brexit thing. In the case of no-deal, guide dogs in Northern Ireland would be forced to travel by sea to reach the Republic of Ireland, where there are only three entry points for them: the southern ports of Cork, Rosslare and Dublin Airport. To further worsen the situation, it’s far from a straightforward journey facing guide dog and companion alike. In the worst case scenario, in may involve taking a ferry from Northern Ireland to Scotland or England, driving to Wales and then finally boarding a ferry to reach the Republic of Ireland. So, what should we take from this? That pet travel is flawed, Brexit isn’t the laugh we thought it might be or that the Irish Sea will be at its busiest in decades? No, we should just accept that if you are in favour of Brexit, you must simply not like Northern Irish guide dogs- perhaps you even hate them. And while that may seem like, and definitely is, a poorly reached conclusion, it appears to match the standard of many generalizing claims made in politics. Claims that are irreversibly dividing millions of people. If you support Brexit, you’re a closet racist and if you support a second referendum, you have no democratic values and probably moan a lot. Although the moaning bit is probably true. However, aren’t the people accusing them of moaning doing exactly that? I’m undecided, but while we’re on the subject, I’ll tell you something for free. I would definitely moan if I read an article focussed on guide dogs up until the final paragraph, then made some sort of claim about modern politics. It’s a niche example but one to watch out for. by Finlay Macleay Working canines are pro EU and here is why Photo courtesy of ujawand

16.10.19 p.13 I'm jealous Don’t worry, I’m not the type to deny facts. I’ve never been very good at hiding my emotions and I don’t sense I’ll be making much improvement in that area anytime soon. So, when it comes to jealousy, I’m not even going to bother trying to disguise it and act like I don’t care in the slightest, because I do. It just doesn’t have to be such a bad thing. Jealousy is a painful feeling. Anyone will say that, based on insecurities causing overwhelming emotions of anger, fear and disappointment, and clingy – relationship killing behaviour. But what about the green monster as a motivator? I’ve used countless crushes dating slimmer girls to push me to go on runs. Learnt bits of Spanish to try and fit in with my boyfriend’s family, the way I know his ex could. Getting fit just to flaunt it in a bikini abroad. Even studying harder, working two jobs, so I could show my sister that she doesn’t always get to be the star in my mother’s eyes. It might not be the healthiest, but it makes me a healthier, higher achiever and nothing is more motivating than the thought of deserving, what all those little insecurities that jealousy provides tell you you don’t. If you’re in a solid relationship like I am, you’d expect jealousy to go away. I genuinely trust my significant other, but I can’t help that niggling irritation when men and women alike hit on him in bars or clubs – right in front of me. The urge to wrap my arms around him and death-stare my opponent until they look away is strong. But. He always just laughs it off, makes a joke to me, and my anger ebbs away. So, in a way, I really like that gorgeous girls in slinky tops and hot pants, or guys tattooed and pierced up under a sexy leather jacket, can flirt with him all they want, and I know he’s still choosing me. Jealousy is reassuring. This is less a pro for me, but jealousy as a rule, is hot. Argue with me all you like but have you ever had a guy or girl get slightly protective when some random person starts to flirt. It’s reassuring to you as well as to them, that they actually care enough not to want to give this relationship up. It’s written out as a terrible, controlling, possessive emotion, hell-bent on crushing both parties with a suffocating blanket of fear and a need for reassurance, and as it’s so hard to control, that can be terrifying. It’s a human feeling and being able to use it to your benefit, rather than being pulled under by the current in an attempt to get out of the deep green water altogether, is the route I’ve found far more effective and satisfying. Honestly, I never got jealous with anyone before the guy I’m with now. And to me that runs in perfect parallel with the fact that even if I didn’t realise it back then, I’ve never loved anyone half as much. by Paige Hallows Swimming in the dark green wave Photo courtesy of Quasic Frying Five Guys I n almost every major fast food restaurant you can walk in and pick out the standard vegetarian option on the menu: the veggie burger. Except in Five Guys. How is it that a restaurant famed for its burger quality fails in this one simple regard? They’ve already made the choice to make everything with peanut oil, which (delicious as it is) alienates those with nut allergies, so why are they deliberately antagonising the vegetarians as well? Now some of you may be reading this and thinking ‘but I’m vegetarian and I’ve eaten at Five Guys.’ In that case, well done you, for exploring the culinary delights of Aberdeen. But they do not have a veggie burger on the menu; what they have is a veggie sandwich - nothing but loose vegetables slightly grilled in a piece of bread. Now, I like grilled vegetables as much as the next vegetarian, but when I am entering a fast food restaurant I expect a little better. If you were to head to Morrisons or Lidl you could buy burgers made from sweet potato and edam cheese, spicy beans, cauliflower and even burgers made from fake meat. This is the glory of living in the age of vegetarian and vegan awareness and acceptance- that we are offered more, as consumers, than plain vegetables and some sort of bread or pasta. However, Five Guys does not seem to have gotten this memo for catering to vegetarians. Veggie burgers are one of the most common items to find in the vegetarian/vegan part of the menu and after 6 years as a vegetarian, I have become a great judge of them. They are simple, inexpensive, easy to make and ranging in taste but usually good. Plus, it’s great not to get stuck with a salad when everyone else is ordering filling meals. I can even go to McDonalds after a night out and order a veggie burger (with no mayonnaise for the vegans). Now, I applaud any fast food chain that takes risks on its menu and goes beyond this. And it’s great to see and taste a wide variety of foods that I don’t have to cook myself. But with Five Guys, all I feel is laziness. Their veggie option is just too close to the salad we are all over having to order. While I do know a few people who converted to this dietary lifestyle for health reasons, that tends not to be the case for most of us. Therefore, we like to eat more than straight vegetables. Every time I have gone into Five Guys I have looked at the veggie option, felt disgusted and ordered chips. If they really want to distinguish themselves, they can sell the veggie sandwich AND the veggie burger. I don’t mind. But until that day, I can never speak highly of Five Guys, nor can I enter there for anything other than a light snack. The next time you go there I implore you to ask them to add a better veggie option to their menu- maybe if enough people do it we will have the food we deserve. by Holly Cormack Five Guys needs to start selling actual veggie burgers Photo courtesy of Julia Sedaeva

p.14 16.10.19 DISCLAIMER All opinions expressed in the satire section are written primarily for the sake of comic value and therefore do not necessarily represent the honest views held by the author, The Gaudie, AUSA, or any company which advertises in The Gaudie. LOOKING FOR ANSWERS? Last edition's crossword solution: Across 6. Compere 7. Hoist 9. Scar 10. Fat-soluble 11. Potsherd 13. Thieve 15. T-bar 17. Pivot 18. Have 19. Morose 20. Talk back 23. Telescopic 26. Tuck 27. Heron 28. Latency Down 1.Impresario 2. Selfie 3. Wept 4. Rheostat 5. Lieu 6. Cacao 8. Tel Aviv 12. Davit 14. Inhabitant 16. Biotech 21. Locate 22. Cocky 24. Euro 25. Poll The student plant craze is overgrown I t has dawned upon university students that they are going to be adults for the rest of their lives. This might seem terrifying- perhaps because it is. We are reaching the finish line of finding out who we are and what we are here for, and we have found that we have little to no answers. We have crossed the line in which we stop being parented so that we may become parents ourselves. Of what, you may ask? Well, supposedly, of ourselves. Supposedly, later on, of our own children. I have found, however, that most people arriving at this particular point of their lives decide instead to become avid plant parents. When deciding things for ourselves - decisions which shall shape the course of our lives - like what course should I take, what internship, if any, should I stay with this person, should I rent this flat, choose this internet supplier, should I open another bottle of that cheeky cheap wine? When these decisions put on weight we are not really ready to carry, turning to easier questions might really be our only escape. Questions such as where should I put this plant? Should I water it now or later today? A wrong answer to such questions leads to much lighter consequences. The plant's dead, Ellen. Buy another one and that's the end of that. Suddenly your flat is overgrown with plants that give you an easy sense of accomplishment and purpose. If we bring this plant craze phenomenon to our lovely Aberdeen, then this life choice seems even more logical. In a city taken out of a black and white movie, gloomy and bleak, where the sky has decided to forever match the cold granite buildings, it is only fair that one looks for a green friend to brighten up their lives. And we need a lot of brightening, all right. Self-care is our generation's much needed new fascination, and to invest in something as comforting and satisfying as plants is, in a way, the same as investing in yourself. After all, we are the kids who were told we could be anything and somehow heard we had to be everything. To start as a plant owner seems pretty good to me. Not to mention that houseplants quite literally keep you alive, (they give you oxygen, dummy), while being kept alive by you, and this, my friend, is perhaps the healthiest and happiest relationship you'll ever be in your entire life. by Monica Ferreira SIMPLESUDOKU ADVANCEDSUDOKU Photo courtesy of milivanily via Pixabay The epidemic of the crazy girlfriends ...a nd how it’s essentially cow excrement. If a relationship is a journey, then women are sitting in the passenger’s seat and men are proudly behind the steering wheel. The destination, you may ask? Crazy Town. And trust me, like a five-star uber driver, you will always get there. It has become a culture and a dumb one at that. Somehow, the default girlfriend is the crazy one. Somehow, despite the bravado men wear so well and so very often, the role of victim always falls on their laps. If a whip ever comes out, it’s in the girl’s hand. It is a culture of women with “attitudes” and men with hilarious stories about it, and I can’t help but feel for these poor men. How horrible it must be to deal with this thing women insist on having. Feelings? Absolute taboo in any locker room talk. Yet, when men have them, it’s an absolute phenomenon, healthy and valid and to be handled carefully, so as not to scare the poor thing away. Women fall to their knees and sing hallelujah. When women have them, however, it is the end of the world, and men initiate some kind of short circuit where communication skills are a myth. I can’t help but gag at the sentence “women are complicated”. Men say we should come with an instruction manual, but forget their inability to read them. So, for all the girlfriends out there, next time you blame your pill for your mood swings, take a look around, the real reason might be sleeping right next to you. by Monica Ferreira Riddles The letter 'M' The letter 'E' Silence

16.10.19 p.15 SIMPLESUDOKU Look out for the solutions in our next issue! 10. Makes trivial (11) 11. Obtaining something through coercion (9) 13. South-eastern European country of which Sarajevo is the capital (6) 14. Severe, harsh. Relating to 7th century Athenian lawmaker Draco (9) 15. A dull persistent pain (4) 16. Vehicles which have been held up and thus begin to block each other (7,3) 19. Aerograms (10) 20. Number following thirteen (8) 21. The pleasure of fulfilment or achievement (12) 23. Bank account allowing user to deposit money (7,7) 25. British noble ranking above viscount and below marquis (4) 27. Folkloric creature, the Abominable Snowman (4) 28. Common name for Hibiscus trionum (6,2,2,4) 31. To express pleasure at somebody’s success (12) 33. Tate experiences (8) 34. Beast of burden (4,6) 36. Person in charge of a railroad yard (10) 37. Language using silent gestures to communicate (4) 38. Flu (9) 40. Case or covering for a blade (6) 42. Without purpose, in an aimless manner (9) 43. Incapable of being transferred or removed (11) Across 1. Perennial herb found in rainforest habitats (9) 2. Having a flat, level surface (4) 3. A frontier guard in the Spanish national police force (10) 4. Host city of the 2016 Olympics (3,2,7) 5. Plural of serum (4) 6. A bookplate (2-6) 7. To remove or mitigate unwanted effects by producing an opposing effect (10) 8. Natural narrow waterway connecting two larger areas of water, e.g. of Gibraltar (6) 9. Main circuit board in a computer (12) 12. Aka rom-com (8,6) 17. Farsighted (3-6) 18. Establishment providing massages (7,7) 22. Affected by quavering, showing nervousness (9) 24. Overly expensive (12) 26. Mementos, collectibles (11) 28. Most showy or flaunty (10) 29. Head of a school, the dean (10) 30. Improvised rap (9) 32. To free from something that muffles (8) 35. In a thoughtful, benevolent manner (6) 39. Not any, no part (4) 41. Scheduled test at the end of a school year (4) Down GAUDIECROSSWORD ADVANCEDSUDOKU MEDIUMSUDOKU

p.16 16.10.19 Contract holdouts – a growing phenomenon Why NFL players care more about big contracts and money than playing on Sundays by Tom Molnar Los Angeles Chargers’ running back Melvin Gordon returned to practice on Thursday September 26th, after a 64-day contract holdout which saw the star player miss training camp as well as all of preseason and the first three games of the regular season. Gordon, who earned his second Pro Bowl selection last season, had held out in hopes of a contract improvement in the $12 million-$14 million range. The Chargers balked at this desire, countering with an offer of $10 million a year. Not satisfied with the offer given, Gordon wished to seek a trade to a different team who would pay him the money he wanted, stating “I know my value. I know what I bring to this team, and I’m sticking to that.” However, sticking to his decision turned out to be the wrong one as no trades came in and Gordon had to settle with the $5.6 million he is to earn this year as part of his rookie contract. Gordon’s intentions behind this contract dispute were clear. He was a top-five running back last season, so should get paid what elite players like Todd Gurley and David Johnson earn. However, this failure in a contract holdout shows that perhaps he may not be of such value, and now NFL fans think less of him. Even without him, the Chargers’ running game was just fine, with duo Austin Ekeler and Justin Jackson stepping up in Gordon’s absence. It then brings up the question, was this contract holdout worth it? In the end, Gordon didn’t get the money he wanted and now will be fined for missing so much of the season. Evidently, the former Wisconsin star cared more about his own earnings than playing the game he loves. NFL fans from the US and across the world dedicate their afternoons and evenings to watching NFL stars taking the field, but some players would rather sit out for contract reasons than entertain their followers. Is Melvin Gordon the only NFL player to do so? Unfortunately, this is not the case. Washington Redskins’ offensive tackle Trent Williams has been holding out from playing since June as a result of wanting a bigger contract, like Gordon. However, the 4-time Pro Bowler is now 31 and many offensive tackles have shifted the market in the last few years. Needless to say, Williams may have to opt for the current contract he has at $11 million this year. Ezekiel Elliott, who has been among the top running backs in the last five years, began holding out during training camp, demanding a contract extension. On September 4th, he finally got what he wanted, signing a six-year extension with the Dallas Cowboys worth $90 million, with $50 million guaranteed. This amount of money is crazy to think about, but these players see nothing short of such numbers. Le’Veon Bell held out from playing the entire 2018 season due to contract negotiations and refused to sign the franchise tag the Pittsburgh Steelers put on him. The franchise tag was worth $14.5 million, but the 3-time Pro Bowler wasn’t having it and, in 2019, signed with the New York Jets on a four-year contract worth $52.5 million. He still held out from playing in all preseason games, seeing action for the first time on the field since the 2018 playoffs in September. Is money really more important than playing the sport these superstars grew up loving? With all these elite players holding out from playing due to contract negotiations, one must question just how important big contracts are. Le’veon Bell was the star of the Steelers in 2017 but they missed the 2019 playoffs, finishing 9-6-1. Without a doubt, his absence heavily affected their result, which shows that when key players miss games, teams don’t perform well. Perhaps there is something more to it than what fans see. Players take these contract holdouts on the advice of their agents, so maybe it is the sports agents who fingers should be pointed at. Either way, this is becoming heavily popular and happening every single season with NFL players. Do they really care more about their own contract than helping their team make it to the playoffs and beyond? Money over a Super Bowl ring? It is clear that this is the case and, rather worryingly, it is growing with popularity. Photo courtesy of Jeffrey Beall via Wikicommons Britain shines at the World Athletics Championships The seventeenth edition of the biennial, global athletics competition was organized this year in Doha between September 27th and October 6th. Despite recent controversies about the severe and boiling climate, as well as rumours about corruption and Qatar ignoring the human rights of the workers, the renovated, multi-purpose Khalifa International Stadium saw approximately 2000 athletes from all around the world competing in 49 different events. However, due to the extremely hot weather, it was both mentally and physically challenging for the athletes to compete and for the spectators to cheer. As a result, it has been noted that, due to the aforementioned reasons, this World Athletics Championship has attracted less visitors than the previous ones. The performance of Team USA was outstanding. They won 14 gold, 11 silver and 4 bronze medals in total, with Kenya and Jamaica earning second and third place on the overall medal table. However, there is no reason for feeling low on the British side either, with two gold and three silver medals, placing a fantastic 6th overall place, which is very reassuring with only one year to go until the Summer Olympics in Tokyo. Regarding the UK individually, Dina Asher-Smith not only won the 200m, which is a major sprint distance, but also set a new British record of 21.88 seconds. She remarkably won a silver in 100m as well, and was a part of the 4x100 metres relay too. The British record was also broken by Katarina Johnson-Thompson in heptathlon, who also claimed a fantastic victory. Additionally, in the men’s 4x100 metres relay Great Britain earned another silver as well. So, all in all, how does this performance set up Britain for the upcoming Olympics? With one year left until the start, speculation has already started about both the members and the performance of the British athletics delegation. Medals are expected from Asher-Smith again, although the competition will be made much harder by her main challengers, the Jamaican Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce and Bahamian Shaunae Miller-Uibo. It has also been said that four-time Olympic Champion Mo Farah is about to return and compete in the marathon in Tokyo. Besides them, several other excellent British athletes have a chance for a medal, and hopefully we will see exciting races and even perhaps big surprises too. by Isti Miskolczy Two gold and three bronze medals for Team GB at the 2019 IAAF World Athletics Championships The Aberdeen University King's Aquathlon is back for 2019 The annually organized King’s Aquathlon will be held on the 2nd of November in Aberdeen at the Aberdeen Sports Village. Those who are willing to compete can choose 800 metres swimming followed by a 10 km run, or 400 metres swimming followed by a 5 km run. The running course will be flat and fast but also scenic, as its location is the Beach Esplanade. Various shorter distances will be available for kids as well. If you have not done triathlon, aquathlon or duathlon before, the differences are simple. Triathlon is a multisport race with three different components: swimming, running and cycling. These are done continuously; insomuch as so-called transition zones are set up at every race where the athletes are able to change and switch from one sport to another. They are competing for the fastest overall course completion. Both individual and relay competitions are commonly organized. Both duathlon and aquathlon are emerged from the origins of triathlon with all the same rules and circumstances, the only difference is that the duathlon consists of only cycling and running and aquathlon comprises just swimming and running. The organiser of King’s Aquathlon, the Aberdeen University Triathlon Club, is part of Triathlon Scotland and was formed in 1990. Since then, they have been conducting a huge number of regular sessions as well as social training in all three aspects of triathlon every week for students at each level. You do not need to be either a super fit athlete or have a certain fitness level or experience to join the club or enter the aquathlon. In fact, they are all amateurs who started triathlon because it is fun, combining three different endurance sports, thus keeping every part of your body fit whilst in the beautiful Scottish nature. The entry for the aquathlon is open until the 27th of October. Sign up at http://bit. ly/2me3MKU. by Isti Miskolczy A day of swimming in ASV followed by running along the beach Photo courtesy of Sofia Wigren