The Gaudie 13th May 2014

By Emily Thorburn History was made on Tuesday 4 February when a bill which allows same-sex marriages to take place in Scotland was passed. Scotland is now the seventeenth country in the world to have legalised samesex marriages. The first gay and lesbian marriages could take place as soon as this autumn. While MSPs voted considerably in favour of the motion, describing it as the ‘right thing to do’, Scotland’s two major churches have opposed it. However, religious groups can ‘opt in’ to performing samesex ceremonies where they see fit. The Scottish Government has made clear that no religious groups would be forced to conduct ceremonies. Alex Neil, Health Secretary has insisted that there were “robust protections for religious bodies and celebrants” in the bill and the amendment was unnecessary, as reported by the BBC. The motion has been backed by the Equality Network and Stonewall Scotland, however, the Catholic Church of Scotland and the Church of Scotland have continued to oppose the move and say that they have no plans to conduct ceremonies in the near future. Same-sex marriages have already been legalised in England and Wales, with the first ceremonies due to take place in March. It is expected by the end of this year that Northern Ireland will be the only country in the United Kingdom to not permit same-sex marriages. The University of Aberdeen’s LGBT Society, Ab-Fab, have expressed their joy at the news, commenting: “Over the past few years Ab-Fab Society has been heavily involved with the Equal Marriage campaign and everyone is thrilled that all the hard work that was put in along with the efforts of other LGBT societies and organisations across the country has been well worth it! “The much anticipated announcement was celebrated in style and will inspire further recognition for equality amongst the community.” Aberdeen University’s Student Newspaper The Aberdeen UniversiTy sTUdenT newspAper Free Est. 1934 11 February 2014 Scotland legalises same-sex marriage Valentine’s 101 Surviving the 14th in style, single or otherwise. Life & Style p.15 Oscar Predictions Who to watch out for this Award Season. Arts p.21 2014 in Sport Sports President, Marc McCorkell on the year ahead. Sport p.24 Ukraine Riots Debate: What do the uprisings mean for Ukraine’s future? Opine p.9 Twitter reactions NekNomination We examine the most recent online craze sweeping across campus Features p.6 www.thegaudie.co.uk Kevin Stewart - SNP MSP for the north east. @KevinStewartMSP “I’m proud to have voted for #equalmarriage today to create a more progressive Scotland.” Equality Network - LGBT charity working for human rights in Scotland. @LGBTScotland “We did it! Scotland just became the 17th country in the world to legalise same-sex marriage!! #equalmarriage #history” Stonewall Scotland - LGBT charity. @StonewallScot “#equalmarriage passes in Scotland 105 in favour to 18 against!!!!!” Emily Thorburn – Co-Head Editor of The Gaudie. @emilyorburn1 “Really happy that Scotland is today making history and taking a giant leap further towards #equality! #itstime #equalmarriage” Bright Amponsah - President for Welfare and Equal Oppurtunities. @brytieamps “Scotland you are amazing! #ITSTIME” Robin Parker – Former NUS Scotland president. @R_J_Parker “Also a good time to say that recognition due to several generations of @nusScotland LGBT Campaign people for much hard #equalmarriage work” Josefine Björkqvist - Vice President for Sport at AUSA. @josefinebjork “Today is a milestone in Scottish history as we take a massive step towards true equality #ItsTime #equalmarriage #Scotland” Alex Neil MSP (right) who proposed the bill and Tom French (left) equal rights campaigner. Photos/ Equality Network “The much anticipated announcement was celebrated in style and will inspire further recognition for equality within the community.” Ab-Fab Society Aberdeen University’s Student Newspaper The Aberdeen University Student Newspaper Free Est. 1934 13 May 2014 Words of Wisdom Fourth years write some reflective letters with advice to younger students. Life and Style p.16-17 Mylo Interview Alasdair Lane talks to Mylo, the electronic phenomenon. Arts p.18 Rugby Success Jamie Gee looks back at the superb year of the AMRFC. Sport p.24 The Uni Balance Opine debates the delicate balance between work and social life at Uni. Opine p.9 Editors of the Past Former editors of The Gaudie write about their experiences of the paper. Features p.6-7 www.thegaudie.co.uk Aberdeen University’s Student Newspaper The Aberdeen UniversiTy sTUdenT newspAper Free Est. 1934 21 September 2013 Safety first this Freshers’ Week - we give you tips on how to stay out of trouble. P.11 Obituary: remembering a literary great, Seamus Heaney. P.13 Opine Life & Style Arts Aberdeen Freshers’ Week 2013 - which are the hottest clubs? P.8 Freshers’ flock to Aberdeen By Dan Naylor This week over 2,000 students will join the University of Aberdeen to start the next stage of their academic careers. 2,100 new students will be greeted by an army of Freshers’ volunteers tasked with making everyone feel welcome. The new arrivals will be the first to enjoy the newly refurbished Grant Court halls of residence at Hillhead, the latest in continuing improvements to the complex being made by the University. Events throughout the week include general campus tours, meet and greets, film screenings along with events organised by individual societies such as AbFab, the Improvised Theatre Society and the Christian Union. The Sports Fayre takes place on King’s Playing Fields on Tuesday 24, with popular sports such as football and rugby rubbing shoulders with Ultimate Frisbee and Fencing. The Societies Fayre is the following day, where new students can sign up for 120 societies and activities. No Freshers’ experience is complete without club nights however. This year AUSA has teamed up with The Garage and The Institute to provide the best Freshers’ experience possible. Beginning with a Freshers’ launch party at Garage on the first night, other highlights include a silent disco in Institute on Monday 23 with a Foam Party the following night. Garage closes the week with a toga party on September 28. New students can purchase a wristband that grants free entry into all official Freshers’ nights, including priority entry and queue jump and buses to and from the halls and the nightclubs. Each band cost £35 and can be purchased online. To help keep track of activities, AUSA has provided a phone application with all events, a personal schedule, and links to buy wristbands and the Student Association’s Facebook and Twitter pages. Also included is a handy checklist for those moving away for the first time. Student President Megan Dunn said: “When I moved to Aberdeen I was nervous and shy, but my amazing Freshers’ Week took care of that and I made some great friends. So take advantage of every opportunity to make this the best time of your life!” To further help new students prepare for university, last week the Sabbatical officers, current students and student officers fielded questions from incoming freshers in a live Google+ hangout. Joshua McCartney, a fourth year Psychology student, said: “Freshers’ week kick started my time at university. “I’m now going into my fourth year, and I’m still really close with the people I met on my first night, I actually lived with several of them in my second and third years.” Photo/ Emma Gilmartin Freshers’ Week 2012: Gangnam Style! Official AUSA Fresher’s Week Pullout inside! By Rachel Clark A leading university figure has warned that tuition fees could rise to as much as £20,000. Professor Nick Petford, the ViceChancellor of the University of Northampton, believes that the current cap of £9,000 is no longer sufficient, and has predicted a rise of up to £20,000. Professor Petford claims that British universities will begin to face additional economic pressures as student numbers increase. This will subsequently force them to raise their tuition fees to meet the costs. With a predicted 100,000 new university places needed in the next 20 years, Petford claims that the solution is to treat home students at British universities more like international students. International students do not have a cap on tuition fees like home students do. The Vice-Chancellor of the University of Oxford agrees with Petford, also stating that £9,000 is no longer sufficient. Instead, he would like to charge £16,000 for home students. This is contradictory to what a spokesperson for the Business, Innovation and Skills department has said, insisting that £9,000 allows universities to continue to deliver high quality teaching. AUSA President for Education and Employability, Rob Henthorn, commented on the consequences of such a rise: “This sort of speculation about astronomical tuition fees makes it clear why students should never near a financial burden for learning. “University leaders equating university funding directly with student fees prescribe a dangerous sector where education is a private investment rather than a social good. “Higher Education should always be free, fair and funded at all levels to students from every background.” Professor Sir Ian Diamond, Principal and Vice-Chancellor of the University of Aberdeen, also commented on the effects this will have on Aberdeen students: “I think it is important to distinguish between Scotland and England. “The current Scottish Government has consistently maintained a policy of free higher education and this will certainly stay in place for this parliament. “Future Scottish Governments will need to consider whether they wish to retain this policy. Aberdeen University’s Student Newspaper The Aberdeen UniversiTy sTUdenT newspAper Free Est. 1934 19 November 2013 Tuition fees could rise further Rachel Clark reaps the rewards of booking a spontaneous holiday to Iceland. Life & Style p.16 We chat to Dr Katherine Groo about the impact of new media on the film-making process. Arts p.18 This weeks we look at the highs and lows of Aberdeen’s sporting endeavours. Sport p.24 Bah, humbug! Should the festivities begin so early? Turn to page 9 for the full debate! Opine p.9 By Emily Thorburn Aberdeen Student Charities Campaign (ASCC) fundraised across campus in order to raise money for local Aberdonian Charities, during the University’s third annual Raising and Giving (RAG) Week. The week commenced on November 4th with a £1 Challenge, where committee members bucketed across campus, encouraging students and staff alike to donate £1 to charity. The following evening RAG volunteers took to the bars of Aberdeen during a bucketing pub crawl. The highlight of the week for many students took place on the 6th, when students where given the chance to take part in a bungee on King’s Pitches. The jump of 175ft was provided by Newcastle based company Extreme Sensations, who supply bungee jumping experiences across the UK. Students were offered the chance to fundraise for the jump, with the top fundraiser receiving an extra jump for free. The prize went to Frances Ryan who fundraised £236. Students were also able to sign up to the jump on the day. Overall, nearly 80 students participated in the jump. President for Charities and Community Emily Oil and Independence: Features takes a look at how Scotland’s oil fields will fare if independence is successful. Features p.8 President for Charities and Community Emily Beever (right), was the main organiser of RAG week. Photos/ Jonathan MacDonell RAG Week 2013 A leap for charity “The highlight of the week for many students took place on the 6th, when students where given the chance to take part in a bungee on King’s Pitches.” “Higher Education should always be free, fair and funded at all levels to students from every background.” Rob Henthorn Continues p.3 Continues p.3 www.thegaudie.co.uk By Asma Butt Private letting prices have doubled in a decade leaving students in limbo with loans. Many students arrive at Aberdeen and quickly realise that the price of accommodation far supercedes anything they had previously expected. Rent in Aberdeen City average at £1000 per month according to a Citylets’ report. RPI inflation, which includes housing costs, has risen by 0.7% nationally, with house prices rocketing by 11.5% in Aberdeen. This leaves students worse off in real terms, meaning that, pound per pound, students here have less money. In Scotland alone, letting charges have increased by 5.28% (according to Zoopla), with Aberdeen much higher than the national average. The reality is that students are being priced out of Aberdeen, meaning that the city will soon only support those that can afford to be here, something which fundamentally goes against the city’s ethos to remain vibrant and full of people from all walks of life. The University of Aberdeen has provisions in place to help UK students who are at the most risk of falling through the cracks, through the Discretionary and Hardship funds. Otherwise, the University cannot help you. Aberdeen University’s Student Newspaper The Aberdeen UniversiTy sTUdenT newspAper Free Est. 1934 22 October 2013 Aberdeen property prices rocket Recycling for beginners - we look at how to live harmoniously with the planet. P.14 This week we chat to Cara Mitchell, a singer on the rise. P.18 The Aberdeen American Football team has their first official game and we review their performance. P.24 Features Opine Life & Style Arts Sport The US Government shut down is the focus of our weekly debate. P.9 MSP appeals over sale of Picture House By Jo Polydoros An Aberdeen MSP has appealed over the sale of the Belmont Picturehouse in Aberdeen. Cineworld has been told it must sell one of its venues in Aberdeen amongst others to create more competition and protect customers’ interests following the company’s takeover of the Picturehouse chain. Cineworld has “reluctantly” agreed to sell venues, including the art house in Aberdeen known as the Belmont. Kevin Stewart MSP wrote to the Competition Commission on October 8, requesting that the watchdog reassess its decision to force Cineworld to sell one of its cinemas in Aberdeen. Mr Stewart said: “I am extremely concerned that this ill informed decision by the Competition Commission could spell the end for the Belmont and the rich contribution it makes to the cultural scene in Aberdeen.” He claimed: “The Belmont is not your run of the mill cinema. It delivers an entirely different repertoire from other cinemas in the city, and this art-house offering is what justifies the public subsidy it receives from Aberdeen City Council. “The Belmont also hosts a number of worthwhile community facilities that are also being put at risk.” Mr. Stewart has said that the differences appear to have been largely ignored because the cinema caters for such vastly different audiences. He complained that the audience diversity fundamentally undermines their decision to force the sale. He continued: “If a buyer cannot be found then the Belmont may be forced to close. This decision should be halted immediately and lift the threat on this hugely valued cultural asset.” Mr Smith said earlier this week: “The sale of one of the cinemas in Aberdeen to a competing operator will restore competition and protect customers’ interests. “Cineworld will have the choice of selling any one of the cinemas it owns in three areas across the UK. If it chooses to sell any of the Picturehouse cinemas, we are confident that a new owner will wish to build on their existing strengths.” Cineworld is being forced to sell the Picture House after only one year of ownership. “Students are being priced out of Aberdeen, meaning that the city will soon only support those that can afford to be here“ Aberdeen house prices rise 11.5% Rents average £1000 per month Continues on p.3 Photo/ Ewa Czerwinska Energy Special: we examine Aberdeen’s foremost industry. P.5-8 The Aberdeen UniversiTy sTUdenT newspAper What is it like having to juggle studies and babies? Read the stories of student parents. P.7 Aberdeen University’s Student Newspaper Free Est. 1934 12 March 2013 Is religion still relevant in our time? See what our debaters think. P.12 Grade A have launched their app and we looked into the story of this organisation. P.16 Palette Life is visiting Pam Carter this week - see what inspired her work and her new exhibition. P.19 The Granite City Challenge is coming up again - we tell you all you need to know. P.23 Features Opine Life & Style Arts Sport By Conor Riordan A panel has proposed the restoration of trams and rejuvenation of historic roads in Aberdeen’s city centre to regenerate Union Street, and to make it easier to get in and out of the city’s heart. The group, made up of ten experts in architecture, retail and tourism, has also pointed towards developments along the harbour front, similar to the Mersey in Liverpool. Robert Gordon University principal, Ferdinand von Prondzynski, convened the panel and said he wants a fresh debate following the rejection of the City Garden Project. Last week, the plans were unveiled in the Aberdeen Art Gallery, which drew inspiration from other European cities like Copenhagen. The most controversial suggestion was the return of trams to the streets of Aberdeen. David McLean, head of the Scott Sutherland School of Architecture, told the audience the city needed to remove the “timidity that threatens to become our Achilles’ heel.” Edinburgh city council’s decision to reintroduce trams to the Scottish capital has been mired in delays and controversy over costs. Alasduh Lane, third year Greek mythology student, said: “I lived in Leith, which has been ravaged by the Edinburgh tram lines, and became counterproductive as the bus routes were cut up, and it distracted from the city’s beauty during the festival.” Despite this, trams are central to a European-style transport system. The report says Aberdeen must consider if it wants to become a world-class metropolis. Emlyn Corbett, fourth year Psychology student, said: “I’ve always liked trams, and just because Edinburgh can’t get their act together doesn’t mean we won’t keep things on track up here.” The panel also calls for a rejuvenation of historic areas like Castlegate, Golden Square and Bon-Accord Square. Shopping centres could also be connected to old streets running beneath Union Street. These include the likes of Correction Wynd, Carnegie’s Brae and Windmill Brae. Moving families back onto Union Street was also a key point, with the team wanting to end the city’s culture of night-time drinking. Professor von Prondzynski said: “RGU’s main objective is to ensure that Aberdeen rediscovers a sense of vision and ambition. “Without this vision, the city could lose its own sense of purpose, and could suffer from a sense of drift. It is my hope that we can help to stimulate not just debate, but action.” With one of the shortest distances between city centre and harbour in the UK, the area is still largely undeveloped. The RGU team claim opportunities exist around the waterfront for redevelopment. London’s docks and embankments have been turned into residential, leisure and cultural hotspots over the past 20 years, and the report suggests Aberdeen could do the same. Marine biology student, Polly- Anna Jodoro said: “It is highly important to rejuvenate the waterfront area for tourism, but they must be careful of all local sea life and its ecosystem.” The report received welcome support from the City Council, and one spokeswoman said: “The RGU report will contribute to the talks to take place over the summer on the redevelopment of the investment strategy. “We would be interested to see costings and funding sources identified for projects in the report.” continue on p.2 City centre rejuvenation back on track Photo/ Claire Wheelans, collectingpaper.wordpress.co.uk Editing/ Maria Suessmilch The Aberdeen UniversiTy sTUdenT newspAper An optimistic insight into Aberdeen’s Women’s Movement. P.5 Aberdeen University’s Student Newspaper Free Est. 1934 13 November 2012 Comments on Campus looks into student opinions on Movember. P.9 Interview with Dawn Shand to get you a career in business. P.16 Gaudie talks to Daniel Sloss about his rise to fame. P.18 Ryan Ross outlines the recent highs and lows of Scottish football. P.24 Features Opine Life & Style Arts Sport Loans company giving students sass By Dan Naylor A review of the SAAS system has been commissioned to investigate how almost 6,000 Scottish University students are still without their maintenance loan payments, despite being halfway through their first term. This comes after calls for an inquiry into the situation from various groups including the National Union of Students Scotland. As of last week, 5,936 applications were still to be processed by the Student Awards Agency for Scotland (SAAS), leaving them struggling to pay for living expenses such as rent and food. The review will be led by David Wallace, deputy chief executive of the Student Loans Company, and will focus on the how outstand- ing and late applications are dealt with. The Scottish Government answered complaints that described the situation as “chaos” by saying that those applications still to be processed had missed the June 30 deadline, with the “vast majority” of those left being submitted in September and October. Students rallied against this on social networking sites such as Twitter, arguing that despite the late submissions, two months should still have been plenty of time to deal with all the excess applications. The government organisation has to process over 151,000 applications each year, dealing with more than 1,000 calls a day. SAAS were so inundated with calls over the last few weeks that they have had to close the phone lines one day each week to manage the overload. Biomedical Science student Mary Rutherford says: “It’s really inconvenient not having my loan, I can’t do a weekly food shop and I have to really watch my spending. I’ve tried getting through to SAAS loads of times, and I’m either put on hold, or my reference num- bers invalid, even though it is the one they gave me. I just can’t get through.” Robin Parker, President of NUS Scotland, said: “Students who have not received support funding have every right to be upset, and are absolutely right to expect a better level of service. “Many students rely on this funding to afford their education, and could struggle to remain at university without this much-needed support.” A spokesperson, speaking on be- half of the Scottish Government, assured that “SAAS are committed to ensuring students get the help they need and 100% of applications received before the deadline on 30 June were processed before the student’s course began. Mr Wallace will report the inquiries findings to the chief executive of SAAS after the review’s conclusion in March. Photo/ Claire Wheelans The Aberdeen UniversiTy sTUdenT newspAper An Indiana Jones exploration into the vaults of Marischal College. P.5 Aberdeen University’s Student Newspaper Free Est. 1934 2 October 2012 Is your first year really an essential part of your university life? Debate. P.9 The iPhone 5 has been released but is it worth the hype? P.13 An actor shares their experience of touring the USA. P.15 Football match report of Edinburgh Napier v Aberdeen University. P.20 Features Opine Life & Style Arts Sport Sir Duncan Rice Library officially opened by HM Queen Elizabeth By Maria Suessmilch The Sir Duncan Rice Library of the University of Aberdeen was officially opened by HM the Queen on Monday 24th September 2012, accompanied by HRH the Duke of Edinburgh. Well-wishers and onlookers braved the Scottish weather to watch the royal guests arriving at the library on Monday afternoon. The Queen and Duke received a brief tour to see parts of the University’s Special Collections and meet sponsors and alumni, before unveiling the new name plaque. Flowers from the University’s Botanic Gardens were presented to the Queen, and conductor Professor Paul Mealor composed ‘Shine In Winter Light’ with Professor Peter Davidson for the occasion. The library is named after Scotland’s longest-serving University Principal, Sir Duncan Rice, who demitted his position in 2010 after 14 years serving the University of Aberdeen. The former principal said: “I am grateful to the friends in the community who wanted that to happen, and I’m proud to have my name linked with one of the great architectural practices in the world.” University Librarian and Head of the Special Collections Centre, Chris Banks, said many names were suggested for the building. She added: “It was his vision and the building wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for his faith in it. It was absolutely the right choice and I am thrilled that he said yes.” With 650 invited guests, the event concluded a ten-year journey which brought the £57m project to life. Professor Diamond expressed his delight over its completion and said: “The library is a wonderful building and to have the Queen come and formally open it is a huge tribute to the University.” Among others, the Student Association’s sabbatical officers had the opportunity to briefly meet the Queen and Duke. President for Societies and Student Activities, Emma Carlén, said: “It was a great honour to welcome Her Majesty and the Duke of Edinburgh for the official opening and the visit has undoubtedly been a very special and memorable occasion for many of our students.” President for Welfare and Equal Opportunities, Gordon Maloney, however, did not attend. He explained to the Gaudie: “I feel like everything the monarchy represents is contrary to the values that would underpin the kind of society I want to live in. “I also feel there’s something particularly wrong with having the Queen come to a university; universities should be places where people learn to question authority and challenge arbitrary power, and having the Queen open our library seems to be the opposite of that.” The library project is the largest capital fundraising project undertaken by the University, receiving support from over 3,600 donors worldwide. The building was designed by Danish architects Schmidt Hammer Lassen to evoke the ice and light of the north. Construction started in September 2009 and Photo/ Joseph Heskett completed in summer 2011. “The library is a wonderful building and to have the Queen come and formally open it is a huge tribute to the University.” Professor Ian Diamond - Celebrating 80 years of student journalism -

2 13 May 2014 News The Gaudie Editors: Dan Naylor & Anna Katila [email protected] By Emily Thorburn Aberdeen Student Charities Campaign hosted their first ever Pimms Garden Party earlier this week. The event which took place on Wednesday was enjoyed by over 100 students. Attendees were charged a mere £8 per ticket and received two glasses of Pimms free of charge throughout the evening. Local entertainment was also provided with local singers Leanne Smith, Blair Mcleod, Jess Nicoll Daniel Mutch, and Sian O’Brien each performing a set. The evening was then rounded off by a performance from student DJ Ali Moghaddam. The main organiser of the event was Vice President for Charities Jenny Waters who commented: “I’m so pleased - the Pimms Event went really well! As a first-time event, it was lovely to have such a great response.” Event attendee, Heta Mattila commented that: “It is this type of event that really makes me wish I wasn’t in my fourth year as I would love the chance to attend the event again. I would recommend all students come next year!” Vice President for Charities elect, Alex Currie, helped out on the night and noted: “The event was well attended and the guests seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves.” The event followed the successful Torcher Parade which took place on Saturday 3 May. All proceeds from the Pimms Garden Party will be donated to local charities in Aberdeen and the north east of Scotland such as the Aberdeen Cyrenians, Clan and Balmedie Friendship Club. Pimms Party a hit By Dan Naylor Last weekend the University held its annual May Festival, with over a hundred events celebrating every aspect of the University. In a programme packed with big names, there were events spanning science, literature, art and the environment, with something for everyone. War reporter Kate Adie, Charlatans front-man Tim Burgess and best-selling author Tony Parsons were among the headline acts. The Red Hot Chilli Pipers closed the weekend at the Festival Finale concert. For the second year running there was a Natural Produce Market in Elphinstone Hall, with a variety of local suppliers showcasing and selling their products. There were also a range of children’s events such as Diddi Dance, Tales by Torchlight and a Viking tea party. Speaking before the event, the University of Aberdeen Principal, Professor Sir Ian Diamond, said: “Last year’s May Festival was a huge success and I am sure that the 2014 event will prove even more popular. “This festival delivers an extremely varied and exciting programme and there really is something for everyone. “We look forward to welcoming visitors from the city, shire and beyond to our campus and hope everyone enjoys the weekend’s festivities.” May Festival a success By Anna Katila Seagulls are becoming a menace on Aberdeen’s streets. The City Council has admitted that there were 18 attacks by seagulls reported in 2013. Moreover, it has been revealed that more than 1,100 complaints were levelled against seagulls between 2010 and 2013. Aberdeen has one of the largest herring gull populations in the UK. The complaints included issues with nesting, noise, aggressive behaviour, fouling, scavenging and damage to property. Some members of public also complained about other people feeding seagulls. A spokesman for the local authority said: “Aberdeen has one of the largest herring gull populations in the UK. “The herring gull is on the RSPB’s red list, affording it the highest possible conservation status. “This means that the council is extremely limited in any action it can take to control the population. “Aberdeen City Council’s housing repairs team undertakes an annual programme of nest and egg removal from council-owned public and domestic buildings. “Our environmental health team gives general advice regarding issues with gulls but has no powers in relation to enforcement action.” A first year Anthropology student, Stefanie Steinbeck commented on the seagulls: “They are a pest. I am surprised that they are endangered; there is so many of them. They are quite possibly the worst thing in Aberdeen.” Birds found gull-ty By Dan Naylor Edward Snowden appeared on video link last month to accept his position as rector of the University of Glasgow. Around 250 students gathered to see the NSA whistle-blower installed as rector. The University has a history of electing rectors on an honorary basis. Past rectors have included Poincaré, Luthuli, Winnie Mandela and the Israeli whistle-blower Mordechai Vanunu. The robing ceremony, due to Mr Snowden’s absence, saw a chair adorned in the ceremonial gown. In his acceptance speech, Mr Snowden said: “First off, I’d like to give my thanks to everyone at the University. To the student body, to the SRC, to everyone who participated in the election whether they were candidates or whether they were voters. “I am disappointed and I must apologise for being unable to attend in person, but unfortunately I have discovered that I am barred from entering the UK on the grounds that my presence is considered detrimental to the public. I do think it is fair to say that the election shows the students of this University have a different opinion and I am honoured to find that is the case.” Mr Snowden gained notoriety last year for leaking classified material that exposed global surveillance programs conducted by the United States Government. Snowden installed as rector Photo/ Glasgow University Photo/ Ciro Katana Photo/ Jonathan MacDonell By Dan Naylor Students at the University of Aberdeen have voted No in a mock Independence referendum. Just under 1,100 students took part, with 64% voting to stay as a part of the United Kingdom. Voting took place from the 28 April to the 1 May, following a week of campaigning. Last month the University pulled out of the CBI after it announced an anti-Independence stance, which the organisation has since revoked. The campaigning included several debates. The first, the Earl Marischal debate, with the stand: “This House Believes Scotland should be an independent country.” The Earl Marischal debate had six invited speakers, including SMPs, with the President and VicePresident of Debater summating. The vote was taken by oral acclamation, with the opposition winning. The second debate, held on the 28 April, was won by the Yes campaign. Grant Costello, who spoke in the debate for the Yes campaign said: “I think the evidence shows that when we engage people in the referendum debate, and inform them of the issues, they are more likely to turn to Independence, as was shown by our victory in the debate.” Several Scottish universities have held similar Independence events, with them all coming out in favour of the No campaign. Aberdeen had the highest percentage, although The University of Glasgow and Glasgow Caledonian were close with 63% each. The closest vote was at Strathclyde University, with 55% voting No. Students vote No Photo/ Jenny Wilson “Last year’s May Festival was a huge success and I am sure that the 2014 event will prove even more popular.” Professor Sir Ian Diamond “I am disappointed and I must apologise for being unable to attend in person, but unfortunately I have discovered that I am barred from entering the UK.” Edward Snowden Photo/ Aberdeen Uni

3 www.thegaudie.co.uk News 13 May 2014 The Gaudie By Lorina Mcqueen On Saturday 3 May, the 125 Torcher Parade made its way down the Granite Mile. The colourful parade attracted large numbers of the public as an audience. The Torcher Parade was created in 1889 by nurses from Aberdeen Royal Infirmary, and later in 1920 it was taken over by students. The event has grown since and is the biggest student led parade in Europe. The event is run by the Aberdeen University Students’ Association’s Charities Campaign committee. Robert Gordon University and the North East of Scotland College both also take part in the event, raising money for their respective charities. The Torcher Parade is the last and biggest event on the charities calendar before the long summer break. Many societies such as AbFab, African-Caribbean Society and Dance Society among others took part this year. There were also an array of floats such as The Lego Movie and Frozen which were joined by floats from BookEnds and AUSA. The participating societies and organisations from the University of Aberdeen started preparing for the parade in the early afternoon as the participants gathered at the car park next to the University’s Sir Duncan Rice Library to decorate the floats. Most of the participants also made efforts in dressing up to fit with the theme of their floats. The Torcher Parade, organised by the current Charities Campaign committee, also received practical help from AUSA. The event also relies on the presence of volunteer stewards. The stewards walked with each float and manned road closures to ensure the safety of the event. Although the total of the money raised has not been released yet, it looks that the event has been another success for the Charities Campaign. The event has also been praised by the University of Aberdeen and everyone who took part. Torcher Parade lights up the city By Rachel Clark The eagerly-awaited Aquatics Centre at the Aberdeen Sports Village officially opened its doors on Monday last week, with over 1,000 swimmers on the first day alone. The £22 million facilities in the new complex include an Olympicstandard 50m pool, a 25m pool, diving boards up to 10m, a sauna, and a steam room. However, Aberdeenshire Council backed out of funding the Aquatics Centre the week prior to the grand opening. In 2008, Aberdeenshire Council agreed to donate £134,000 a year to the swimming pool. Aberdeenshire Council claim that their funding partners, Aberdeen City Council and the University of Aberdeen, did “not adequately include” them in their plans regarding the Aquatics Centre. Jim Gifford, Leader for Aberdeenshire Council, commented on the decision to back out: “We expected to be involved from the beginning to ensure our residents got the best value. “Engagement with Aberdeenshire Council has not been as it should be, if we are to be a partner we expect to be fully consulted throughout.” In addition to this, Councillor Gifford stated that Aberdeenshire swimming clubs initially would have required 10% of the pool’s total capacity; however, this figure has since been halved. In response to this, the Chair of the Council’s Education, Learning and Leisure Committee stated: “Local swimmers say their requirements to use the new pool have reduced since 2008 and they are likely to reduce further as we build more of our own pools. “We continue to invest in our own facilities to provide excellent sporting opportunities which are close to home for our residents and clubs.” The University of Aberdeen have yet to comment on the decision by Aberdeenshire Council. Funding pulled from Aquatics Centre By Rachel Clark The proposed boycott, which was due to begin on 28 April, has been called off by the University and College Union (UCU). The boycott was initially postponed until 6 May, after a pay rise of 2% for the academic year 2014-2015 was offered and accepted by 84% of the Union members. On 2 May, the Union’s higher education committee “confirmed that the dispute is over and the marking boycott is off.” As part of the ongoing strike since October over a 1% pay rise offer, a total of 30,141 votes were counted (a turnout of 52.6%). 83.7% voted to call off the marking boycott and an additional 16.3% voted to reject the proposed boycott. Sally Hunt, the UCU General Secretary, commented: “UCU members have made it overwhelmingly clear that they wish to accept the 2% pay offer and call off the proposed marking boycott. “My thanks go to UCU members for their support in this dispute.” After the decision was made, the Universities and Colleges Employers Association issued a statement, saying they were pleased that the employers’ full and final pay offer was accepted by the vast majority of union members. The statement that was released added: “Students and the sector more broadly will be relieved that the planned assessment boycott has now been called off.” The union also pointed out that other unions that represent university staff, such as Unison and Unite, are still consulting the pay offer, which includes a 2.2% rise for the lowest paid university workers. The union ended by stating: “If accepted by the remaining trade unions the increase will bring the vast majority of staff in the sector on the lowest points of the pay scale to rates equivalent to or above the Living Wage.” This comes after Labour demanded that the SNP amended legislation regarding the Living Wage. Marking boycott called off Photo/ Ciro Katana Photos/ AUSA Marketing By Rachel Clark This year sees the 80 year anniversary of The Gaudie student newspaper, officially the oldest student newspaper in Scotland. Covering the campus and local news as well as nation-wide news that is of special interest for students, The Gaudie has been circulating since 1934. In 2003, The Gaudie was officially stated as the oldest student paper in Scotland by The Guardian. The Gaudie has grown into a successful, celebrated student media outlet in the 21 century, distributed across campus in places such as Hillhead Halls of Residence, King’s College, Sir Duncan Rice Library, and Foresterhill Medical School alongside with pubs and cafes popular among students. Although a mostly positive history, The Gaudie suffered an entire resignation by the editorial team in 2003, in protest over AUSA’s attempt to enforce content and restrict the budget. AUSA believed that they paid for the paper and were therefore entitled to advertise themselves in The Gaudie. The issue was even taken to parliament by the MP for Orkney. However, the University of Aberdeen’s newspaper was revived in 2009, and has since successfully re-established itself around campus. The Gaudie has continued to build on its reputation into its eightieth year, and many past writers and editors of The Gaudie and various Alumni still recall on the paper and its progression since their graduation from the University of Aberdeen. John Braid, who was co-head editor from 2009-11, said: “I first got involved in The Gaudie as I liked the idea of becoming a sports journalist, but it quickly became so much more than that. “I met so many like-minded people, and together we set about making a publication that not only kept students up to date with university news and events, but made them laugh too. I feel honoured to have been a part of this paper’s long and successful history.” Stuart Hewitt, head editor for 2011-2012, is still similarly enthusiastic: “The Gaudie becomes an obsession, I promised myself I wouldn’t become one of those guys you hear arguing in the pub about fonts but low and behold (Helvetica Neue always by the way). “I have got a graduate job largely based on my Gaudie experiences, so who’s laughing now science.” The readership has reached 2,000 across campus, with up to an additional 4,000 readers online since the establishment of thegaudie.co.uk in 2013. The Gaudie celebrates 80 years “UCU members have made it overwhelmingly clear that they wish to accept the 2% pay offer and call off the proposed marking boycott.” Sally Hunt, the UCU General Secretary “The Gaudie becomes an obsession, I promised myself I wouldn’t become one of those guys you hear arguing in the pub about fonts but low and behold (Helvetica Neue always by the way).” Stuart Hewitt “The Torcher Parade was created in 1889 by nurses from Aberdeen Royal Infirmary.”

4 13 May 2014 News The Gaudie www.thegaudie.co.uk By Richard Wood A University of Aberdeen academic and expert in renewables, Dr David Toke, has rebutted claims by the UK government that an independent Scotland would face a large increase in the price of energy. Dr Toke, who has written articles for the Energy Economist and Huffington Post, as well as being a member of a group of academics advising the European Green Party in the EU Parliament, made the argument that the Scottish Government’s target of ‘100 percent’ renewable energy in an independent Scotland would be no higher for buyers than if Scotland remains in the UK. If Scotland does vote ‘Yes’ Dr Toke said: “We concluded that an independent Scotland could fund the incentives necessary for the new renewable developments that would achieve its target without prices rising any higher than they would within the Union to achieve the UK target.” However, he also pointed out that there are benefits to a ‘devo plus’ solution where an optimum solution for renewables could be achieved. According to Dr Toke, such an arrangement would be possible if Scotland votes ‘No’ on 18 September, as a majority of Scots favour more powers to Holyrood, and would allow energy policy to be devolved to Holyrood. Dr Toke gave a vocal report of his findings on 30 April to the Scottish Parliament’s Economy Energy and Tourism Committee. Energy prices rebutted By Anna Katila Alzheimer’s Research UK, a leading dementia research charity in the UK, has awarded experts from the University of Aberdeen. Researchers from the Institute of Medical Sciences received £22,000 for a new research project that aims to understand the causes of Alzheimer’s disease. The researchers are to investigate whether problems with a crucial cell defence mechanism could be a cause of brain cell death in Alzheimer’s, the most common cause of dementia. The project, which will take two years and is led by Professor Bettina Platt and Dr David Koss, will analyse brain samples from people who died with Alzheimer’s. The research team hopes that the project would help in identifying new approaches for much-needed treatments. Professor Platt, Chair in Translational Neuroscience at the University of Aberdeen, said: “Recent research into the unfolded protein response raised some important questions about its role in prion disease in mice, and we now need to understand whether this mechanism could be involved in Alzheimer’s disease in people. “By building a more detailed picture of how the brain’s cellular defence mechanisms behave in Alzheimer’s, and what effects they have on other biological processes, we hope to reveal new clues about ways to stop the disease in its tracks. “Our team is thrilled to have secured this funding for our work, which we hope will bring a genuinely new understanding of disease processes and take us closer to new treatments that are urgently needed.” Dr Simon Ridley, Head of Research at Alzheimer’s Research UK, said: “We’re delighted to be supporting this new study, which will test out this newly-highlighted avenue for research in more detail and help inform our efforts to fight Alzheimer’s disease. Alzheimer’s is the most common cause of dementia and affects over 2,000 people in Aberdeen alone, yet we currently lack a treatment that can stop the disease in its tracks. We look forward to seeing the results of this important research in due course.” Alzheimer’s research receives funding By Asma Butt From 16 May until 18 May, visitors to the art gallery over the age of 18 will be able to take part in a new project named “Creative Invasion” as part of the Festival of Museums, which is taking place across Scotland. The Art Gallery on Schoolhill will play host to a pop up licenced bar and a range of activities including live music, challenges and top secret missions with prizes for winners designed by the curators. Visitors will be encouraged to be as creative as they can with projects such as creating an alternative remembrance poppy and creative writing sessions. Other sessions such as poster printing will also be available with an emphasis on how to make wartime propaganda style prints. The gallery will also be encouraging people to dress up in the gallery’s wartime costumes: the photographs that will be taken will then be edited and free to download after the event. Anna Shortland, the event coordinator at the Aberdeen Art Gallery said: “We know that our visitors are keen to see the gallery in a more informal and social context – having fun in a museum or art gallery is not just for children but for adults too. ” Art Gallery holds adult night By Katrina Schofield Last Thursday, an Indonesian cultural exhibition night called Wonderful Indonesia was hosted at Butchart. This was an opportunity for the Indonesian community of Aberdeen to come together for an evening of entertainment which was also open to anyone wishing to experience Indonesian culture. A traditional food stall with various Indonesian delicacies ranging from festive specialities to locally cooked curries was provided in the event, giving those who attended a taste of Indonesia and the Indonesian community a taste of home. Indonesian traditions including colourful Batik fabrics, spiritual Kris daggers and wayang puppetry were displayed to give people an educational insight into Indonesian culture. The variety of performing acts provided an array of entertainment including an Angklung band, an all-female choir, Nandak Betawi dancing and a performance from Bencong and the Donsband which even had people up dancing. With over 100 attendees, the night hosted by PPI, an association of Indonesian students in Aberdeen, was a great success. Third Year Zoology Student, Eilidh Stirrup, who will be spending the summer volunteering in Indonesia, described the night: “The night was a wonderful taste of Indonesian culture, and it has got me thoroughly excited and more prepared for going to Indonesia.” Indonesian night in Butchart Photo/ Katrina Schofield By Anna Katila Almost a fifth of students feel that teaching standards at their university are poor. A course module review site Student Hut surveyed 3,400 students in April and published results on its website. The University of Manchester received the worst score in student satisfaction, with 27.9% of students dissatisfied with teaching standards. Birmingham scored slightly better, with 17.7% of student unhappy with the quality of teaching. King’s College London received the best feedback from students, with only 3.4% of students dissatisfied. Of all surveyed students, 20.8% felt that the level of support available outside of lectures and seminars was not satisfactory. However, the universities’ scored very differently in this. Nearly a third of students at Cambridge University felt there is not enough support available, compared to just 11.5% at city rival Anglia Ruskin. Conversely, none of the respondents studying at Oxford University were disappointed, whereas 24.1% of respondents from Oxford Brookes felt let down by the support available. A quarter of respondents also anticipated having over £40,000 of debt at the time of graduation. This combined with high numbers of dissatisfaction with teaching standards denotes that students feel they are wasting money for their education without gaining good grounds for a professional career. Sir Colin Campbell, former vice chancellor at The University of Nottingham, added: “There is value to be had from making course module feedback publicly available both for students and for universities. “Increasing the transparency of feedback gives students further information to help guide their module choices. Universities will also benefit as it will help them attract and recruit prospective students by emphasising their commitments to high standards with open discussion.” One in five students dissatisfied with teaching By Emily Thorburn According to a collaborative study produced by the University of Glasgow and Harvard University (USA), 6 in 10 students who have experienced suicidal thoughts are not receiving adequate support. The study aimed to examine the factors that led to suicide, however, it also discovered even when support is received it is frequently of little help. The study was published in medical journal ‘The Lancet’. Suicide is responsible for around 1.5% of all deaths worldwide per annum. Professor Rory O’Connor of the University of Glasgow and Professor Matthew K. Nock argue that further research into the causes of suicide needs to be undertaken. They also noted that one of the problems with current research is a lack of evidence as to whether intervention policies in suicidal cases are truly effective. Statistics indicate that around 1 in 3 people who have suicidal thoughts will attempt to take their own lives while around 90% of people who do commit suicide had a previously diagnosed mental health condition. President Elect for Welfare and Equal Opportunities and Niteline Convenor Genna Clarke commented: “I believe suicide is an incredibly difficult topic to tackle. There’s a huge amount of stigma attached to suicide, making it difficult for people to openly talk about it. “Students who have suicidal thoughts may not feel they can talk to their friends or family about it as they believe it could cause awkwardness or change relationships, but often talking about it can be a huge help. “There are many services available to students feeling suicidal, both within the university and external services, regardless of whether individuals want to talk face to face, or over the phone.” Suicidal individuals need more support Photo/ Hugo Cadaves (flickr) “Of all surveyed students, 20.8% felt that the level of support available outside of lectures and seminars was not satisfactory.” “Our team is thrilled to have secured this funding, which we hope will bring a genuinely new understanding of disease” Professor Bettina Platt

5 Features [email protected] The Gaudie Editor: Grant Costello 13 May 2014 Does money guarantee success in football? Tom Nugent discusses the undeniable relationship between cash and football and asks how much the two are related When the penultimate weekend of the Premier League ended with scenes of pure abjection at Selhurst Park the tears of Luis Suarez helped all but wash away Liverpool’s dreams at a first title in 24 years. A 3-3 draw meant that victory for Manchester City in the final round of games on May 11 rewarded the club with their second title since the famous takeover of Sheikh Mansour Bin Zayed Al Nahyan in 2008. As Man City fans ready their Sheikh Mansour’s barmy army banners, a frequently asked question brews on the lips of pundits throughout the country – are huge cash injections a sure-fire way to success or is there still a chance for clubs built on a budget? So, when was the world’s most inflated business sent tumbling from the financial moral high ground, falling helplessly into a pit of egotistical wealth? The trend of big money transfers, it could be argued, began with Real Madrid and the first Galacticos project by club President Florentino Perez which began in 2000. The top ten list of the world’s most expensive football transfers is dominated by Los Blancos, with the club appearing four times; the total spent amounts to £268 million. However, does all this ludicrous spending equate to an ever prospering conveyor belt of titles? Recent history would suggest no, with the clubs fierce rivals Barcelona dominating Spanish and European football with a squad whose makeup comprises of mainly home-grown academy players. Since 2008 Barcelona have two Champions League titles to their name, four Spanish league titles and two Spanish cups; their starting line-up to the 2011 Champions League final consisted of seven players who began their careers in the club’s youth academy. Barcelona’s previous success is coupled with the fact that this season, with two games left, Atletico Madrid sit at the top of the tree, leaving city rivals Real in 3rd. Although Madrid have won five La Liga titles since 2000 the bankrolled Galacticos have failed to add to their Champions League trophy cabinet since 2003. Surely this is proof that although money may buy fans temporary happiness with major signings and a few trophies, there is no long term guarantee that the club will be successful. The case in Spain is a victory for those who take bitter distaste at the outrageous prices paid for players by clubs such as Madrid; the club recently paid £86 million for Gareth Bale. But where do other top leagues in Europe stand? Are they dominated by domestic talent, or has the pound sign become the emblem etched on the shirts of Europe’s table toppers? The unfortunate answer is that more and more clubs are finding themselves at the top of the Christmas list for the world’s billionaires. In the Premier League Chelsea were taken over by Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich in July 2003 and have subsequently spent £642 million on an influx of world class talent. The result of this is a quickly established history of three league titles, four FA cups, one Europa league and the priceless Champions League; all of this suggests that money can guarantee immediate success. The same blueprint can be seen at Manchester City, who were taken over in 2008 by the Abu Dhabi United Group, with the aforementioned Sheikh Mansour at the forefront. On his successful purchase of the club he said: “we are not going to do crazy stuff, but it makes sense for us to build a dynasty.” A cash injection of almost £1 billion over five years has brought with it only one league title and one FA cup. A stark contrast to the success witnessed at Stamford Bridge suggests that money alone cannot guarantee titles; the successful eras of both Barcelona and Chelsea were led with top managerial talent in Pep Guardiola and Jose Mourinho respectively. Looking at the recent revival of Liverpool to a club that this year has come within inches of the Premier League title suggests that a top manager is pivotal in securing success. Funded by US company New England Sports Ventures, who took over in 2010, Liverpool have been making steady progress over the last four years. As well as this the club has managed to recoup £91 million of the £138 million it has spent on players during this time, and all the pieces of a prosperous financial model seem to be in place. Manager Brendan Rogers seems to be the indispensable cog on which the Liverpool machine turns. Success for the club in the next few years will surely condemn the opinions of those who see £80 million transfers as essential to the history books as Rogers exerts his own style on a club whose history and fans money simply cannot buy. The success plus manager model is also seen at Paris SaintGermain, led by Laurent Blanc. The club has been owned by Qatari billionaires backed by the country’s government since 2011, and they have just celebrated back-to-back title wins. Blanc’s influence is fundamental to such an achievement. However, in glaring contrast to the Liverpool model the club has spent upwards of £270 million on players in a three-year period provoking pejorative opinions that clubs simply buy their way to success. So at what point do football’s governing bodies draw the line in the sand on spending before the game adds to its already burdening reputation as a businessman’s game of monopoly? In June 2012 the Club Financial Control Body oversaw the application of the Uefa Club Licensing System and Financial Fairplay Regulations. Uefa’s Financial Fairplay Rules state that a club must break even over a set period of time or risk punishment. Clubs that fall outside of the permitted loss of £8 million per year over the three-year period between the 2013-2016 seasons will be punished with sanctions. These include withholding of revenues from Uefa competitions, restriction in squad size for the Champions and Europa League and, in the most severe of cases, expulsion from European competition. Uefa General secretary Gianni Infantino said FFP rules are to stop “greed, reckless spending and financial insanity”. In line with this statement Man City’s failure to break even has seen them potentially hit with a £50 million fine and a restriction on squad size for the Champions League 2014/15. Uefa’s dismissal of PSG’s attempts at a £167 million sponsorship deal from the Qatar Tourism Authority also meant they too failed to comply with FFP rules and sanctions will be decided in the coming days. With any luck FFP will help to draw a line on spending before the moral integrity of football becomes carved in the walls of history; it already eludes such a fate by the skin of its teeth. It would appear that the impatience for glory has become the deadliest sin that causes the permanently revolving managerial merry-goround. If clubs like Barcelona, Liverpool and Atletico Madrid are anything to go by, the yellow brick road to success is paved by a world class manager, not a world class bank balance. Money alone, it would seem, does not guarantee a flourishing trophy cabinet and the sooner this realisation hits the likes of Sheikh Mansour the sooner the beautiful game can retreat back from its transition into an ugly, wealth driven state of affairs. THE MOST EXPENSIVE FOOTBALLERS ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC Barcelona 59M Photo/ thefootyblog.net “More and more clubs are finding themselves at the top of the Christmas list for the world’s billionaires. ” CHRISTIANO RONALDOReal Madrid 80M GARETH BALEReal Madrid 86M

13 May 2014 The Gaudie 6 www.thegaudie.co.uk Features I n 1969, The Gaudie’s production methods were standard for the time but seem incredibly archaic today. The paper was put together on Wednesday evenings (features) and Sunday evenings (news pages). Articles were produced using a motley collection of heavy old typewriters, and copy was taken by hand to the Glasgow Herald office in Aberdeen. There it was printed using a hot metal process not very different from the technology developed by William Caxton in the late middle ages. We also used something called an em-rule (a short wooden rule marked in inches divided into sixths, or “ems”); its use I never really understood. One of the excitements of my term as editor was the production of an experimental issue using the then new technology of offset litho printing. I’m not sure any of us realised at the time how significant that change would turn out to be. The Gaudie was not free of charge at that time, and one task of all staff members was to sell a share of the 2,000 copies at 6d each (2.5 pence) at fixed sale points around the University every Wednesday morning. We also sold copies in further education colleges and elsewhere. The office was at 151 King Street, and working evenings were broken by a 20 minute mid-evening break in The East Neuk, whose regulars accepted us with amused tolerance. Evenings often ended after midnight, finishing as we traipsed back to Old Aberdeen and Hillhead, stopping at the back door of a local bakery for an early breakfast. We had several moments of drama, not least because that term coincided with the election of a new Rector, in an election that was fiercely contested by six or seven candidates. I was kidnapped by one campaign and held at a farmhouse outside Aberdeen while their supporters put together an edition of The Gaudie favouring their candidate. It was not an unpleasant experience, and they made an attempt to teach me how to play bridge to pass the time. They unwittingly released me early, however, so it was just possible to reverse the changes before publication. Another controversy came when the paper carried an advert for condoms. Our advertising agency was horrified and threatened to break the contract they had with us. Sweet things - how could they be expected to know that students sometimes had sex? Of our staff of about 20, one is now a leading academic in his field and others have been successful in a variety of careers. I ended up in the civil service and count myself lucky still to be in touch with several of those who worked with me. About half the staff in my year went on to media careers. Some went into journalism, including such papers as the Press and Journal and the Financial Times. Some went into senior positions in ITV and the BBC. And there was a lad from Banffshire called Jim Naughtie - I wonder what became of him? We did our best with fairly limited resources and we had some excellent writers and a lot of enjoyment. But I think The Gaudie today is as good as it has ever been. I’m always impressed by the variety of content and the quality of writing it has nowadays. Long may it continue. Nigel Lindsey 8Eighty of Gaudie I was actually a late developer when it came to both politics and journalism. It was the 1997 general election (at which I voted for the first time) that ignited my interest in the former, and I only became a regular contributor to The Gaudie in my fourth and final year at Aberdeen. My first article had been submitted towards the end of my third year (in May 1998), a sort of obituary-cum-personal appreciation of the singer Frank Sinatra, who’d just died. It was the first time I’d attempted to organise my thoughts on paper, and I found the experience incredibly satisfying. Gratifyingly, that piece still reads relatively well today, although it took me a while to get into the habit of separating straight news reporting from commentary. In my first few months as the paper’s (largely selfappointed) politics editor, I frustrated the then editors by frequently combining the two. Once, however, this editorial confusion had been sorted out, I had a relatively free reign to indulge myself, and there was plenty of political news on which to feast: with the first elections to the Scottish Parliament pending in May 1999, the year before was full of campaigning visits to Aberdeen by leading UK politicians (in those pre-devolutionary days there were only UK politicians). There was also a by-election, the last held under the firstpast-the-post system, for the European Parliament, the sitting MEP for the North East of Scotland constituency, the dignified and eloquent Nationalist Allan Macartney (also Rector of Aberdeen University), having died suddenly. Although Euro elections, then as now, didn’t really matter, this by-election attracted a lot of interest. Labour were the main challengers to the SNP and selected a lady called Kathleen Walker Shaw to fight the seat. She was plausible enough, but having told several journalists (including me for a candidate profile in The Gaudie) that she’d been born in Aberdeen, when it emerged she’d only been ‘conceived’ in the town and had in fact been born in Stafford, she became a bit of a lame duck. In the grand scheme of things, it hardly mattered, but it was one of many gaffes and Ms Walker Shaw ended up losing to the less-thandynamic Ian Hudghton. Although highly-ranked on the Scotland list for the following year’s full Euro elections, she was either persuaded to stand aside or lost her political appetite and she later withdrew. Then followed the first Scottish Parliament elections, which occupied most of my time for several months, culminating in an election special I edited with the then editor Rob Littlejohn (who now works in the Scottish Parliament), complete with analysis, a special campus poll, etc. It was all great – if ill disciplined – preparation for what I do now. The Gaudie also provided a platform for my first regular column, which I pretentiously called ‘Mugwump’ (someone who remains aloof from party politics). Often self-indulgent (as these things tend to be), it was nevertheless a valuable space in which to develop my own thoughts on politics, the constitution and society at large. People used to flatter me by claiming my weekly utterances were the topic of lunchtime conversation in the refectory. Of course, what others and I produced was of variable quality, but it was always great fun. Years later I had to look through old copies of The Gaudie from the 1960s for some research I was doing, and I was pleased to discover that students half a century ago had also been producing copy of variable quality too – a valuable corrective against delusions about a golden age of student journalism. Did working for The Gaudie aide my future career? Undoubtedly. Without that experience – and the resulting file of cuttings – I wouldn’t have gained a place at the Cardiff School of Journalism, from which everything I’ve done since flowed. I’ve never forgotten the thrill of seeing my name in print for the first time, not to mention the (perhaps quixotic) realisation that someone else might be interested in what I had to say. David Torrance Politics Editor 1998 Head Editor 1969 When I started at Aberdeen back in 2007 The Gaudie didn’t have much of a reputation. I’ll never forget picking up a copy for the first time, wandering through The Hub during Freshers’ Week, only for a passing sage come over and advise “You shouldn’t bother mate, it’s a f**king rag,” before smirking off up the stairs. To be fair, he wasn’t wrong. What was there at the time wasn’t all that impressive, 12 sorry sheets of print patterned with badlyspaced articles and some out of focus pictures. Still, there was a big box saying “CONTRIBUTERS WANTED”, and the novelty of seeing my name in print was thrilling enough for me to fire in a couple of pieces over the months, which naturally found a home on my bedroom wall once they were printed (much to the amusement of my flatmates). By the time third year rolled I’d somehow lucked my way into a role as the paper’s Opine Editor. In many ways, it’s only by working within the editorial team that you’re able to start appreciating just how much work goes into every edition of the paper. Coming in and being suddenly expected to not only fill between two and six pages with articles each edition, but to lay out the section with design software you’ve likely never used in your life, is a hell of a learning curve. Anyone would baulk at that challenge. For all the criticism that was, and likely still is, levelled at the team, from issues of editorial independence to general jibes about the quality of their work, never forget this is a paper put together from scratch by a team of volunteers, giving up full weekends and time spent on their studies to craft each edition as best they can. Don’t like it? Then you can get involved and change it yourself! A handy little nugget of democracy that seemed to be lost on some people over the years. And it was difficult to overstate just how important it is to have eager students on board. In the year I spent as Editor I was lucky enough to work with some of the most dedicated and hard-working people I’ve met in any field. It was down to their, often thankless, efforts that the foundations were laid for the paper to continue growing, going from strength to strength even after they’d all moved on. That’s their legacy, and one they can rightly be proud of. So what did I take away from it in the end? I could mention how instrumental the experience was in shaping my post-grad education, leading me from Aberdeen to a Journalism MA in Edinburgh and a new career path. So many of the paper’s alumni seem to be dotted around the media landscape that having The Gaudie on my CV has at times felt like a kind of secret handshake, a golden ticket in job interviews that elicits a knowing smile and fondly swapped stories. Three times I’ve ended up being interviewed by former editors for one thing or another, which is almost too good to be coincidental. But most importantly those two years with the paper, for all the ups and downs, were the most enjoyable of all those I spent in education. Even the low points, the long production weekends, virulent criticism from misguided rivals, last-minute dashes to pack each edition with content, they were all part of an experience that was enlightening, challenging, but above all fun. For two years we all strived towards making a paper that people would want to read, want to come and be involved with, a place where you could make friends and enjoy both the work and the experience. And looking at The Gaudie now it’s so encouraging to see how far it’s come, a paper almost unrecognisable to the one I picked up for the first time nearly eight years ago. One with a steady pool of contributors, a hard-working and dedicated editorial team, a fantastic website, and a structure in place that should see it stay strong for years to come. A paper that the university, the students, and the editorial team can rightly be proud of. Gaun’ yersel Gaudie, 80 years young, here’s to 80 more. Joe Blyth Head Editor 2010-2011 “Did The Gaudie aid my future career? Undoubtedly.”

7 13 May 2014 Features The Gaudie www.thegaudie.co.uk I thought The Gaudie was awful. I read it as a Fresher outside The Hub toilets waiting for friends and was routinely appalled at the spelling and quality of the articles. I particularly remember an article about the Israel/Palestine conflict (Campus Controversy of The Year 2008-09) which definitely didn’t have as many verbs as sentences. I believed it was so terrible that when a classmate announced that he was starting a rival online publication I asked to join it immediately, becoming the Arts Editor. I got a T-shirt proclaiming to the world that I was part of Vox Pop. It turns out the world wasn’t very interested to know. We also discovered that putting a newspaper together is hard work. The first 300-word article I had to edit barely had any punctuation in it and took me five hours to edit. Vox Pop’s downfall was the editorial team’s dysfunctional relationships as well as its editor’s need to go out and upset as many people as he could. He marched into The Gaudie offices one day and yelled at the Editors for no reason at all (sorry Alex Lewis!) and would accost the Student President whenever he could to tell him he was running a socialist dictatorship (sorry Robin Parker!). Unsurprisingly we started haemorrhaging editors and writers. Eventually the editor cut his losses and closed it down. RIP Vox Pop (August-November 2009), by this time I was pretty upset by the whole thing. I felt I had wasted my sleepless nights and worst of all, I had actually really enjoyed building a team of writers and then editing their sometimesmarvellous, sometimes-awful articles. I had also inadvertently discovered feminism and student politics, but those would take a few more years to develop into real interests. So I shall be eternally grateful to the then-editors Alex Lewis and John Braid who invited me to come to the mid-term election they were having to look for an Arts Editor at The Gaudie. They were kind enough to ignore my history of being virulently anti-Gaudie and were extremely welcoming once I had somehow and sheepishly won the election. I realised that they too thought that the paper needed drastic improvement and they set about doing it. It was a long progression towards making the paper more professional, which I was honoured to be a part of from November 2009 to June 2012, first as Arts Editor, then as CoEditor. I was then able to watch it develop from 2012 to 2013 as Student President. I know there is always room for improvement, an Editorial Team’s work is never done, but I am proud of where it is today, compared to what it was in 2008. Despite all this I wanted to write about Vox Pop because I realised that it was the catalyst that changed me from a fairly apathetic first-year student into a student who was fully involved in campus life. For everyone who does end up running something, whether it’s a campus charity campaign or being the President of the underwater basket-weaving society, there is usually a moment like this where your time at university is decided. Sometimes I wonder what my university experience would have been like without that opportunity to be part of The Gaudie. Would I have enjoyed it as much? Maybe. But I certainly wouldn’t have met so many people, made the brilliant friendships and got the job that I have today. So Happy 80 Birthday to The Gaudie, long may it cause controversy! 0Anne-Claire Desilligny yYears Editors We thought they were dark days for education. Margaret Thatcher was nearing the end of her second term as Prime Minister, and nothing was sacred, at least nothing we held dear. Watching over us at Aberdeen University was an apparently willing hatchet man in the form of Principal Professor George McNicol. Let me qualify that in case he’s still alive, I have no idea what his politics were or whether he was, at heart, a champion of education for all. But in the mid-1980s, it seemed to us that he was enthusiastically pursuing an agenda that would make it harder for working class students to go to university. Little did we know it would be a Labour Government who would end, shamefully, free higher education for all. Still, the angst of that uncertain time gave me and my fellow editors plenty of material for our news pages during our term in charge. We took over at a tough time, during the very first year that saw The Gaudie going from free-sheet to a 10p newspaper that was no longer shoved under the doors in halls, but actually had to be sought out in the newsagents. Despite the pressure to top the sales of our friends who edited The Gaudie in the term before us, I remember rescuing an old woman who was on the verge of buying one because it was the cheapest paper in the shop. She wouldn’t find a telly page in that one, I warned her. Education policy and its effects on the students at Aberdeen dominated our front pages. We relied heavily on the SRC President of the day, our close friend Jos Wheatley, who went on to the sort of respectability we knew was his destiny with a career in the Foreign Office. Jos was the only member of the landed gentry I knew, and to my surprise he was a top man, totally committed to education and its power to level the playing field for those not born into privilege. The President of the Student Union, Andrew Chevis, was also good for copy, and he was also a friend, though the sort of friend you kept an eye on. Again, it was no surprise years later to see him crop up on the television news as a national spokesman for an organisation that represented the interests either of the alcohol or tobacco industry. Looking back, I wish we’d been more daring and not simply followed on from the previous editors. There was nothing wrong with their Gaudies, or ours, but it was formulaic. I wish we’d been more adventurous and put people rather than policies on the front page. There were good stories kicking around, like a dodgy English lecturer who everyone knew behaved inappropriately with female students. He had to resign years later, but sadly we played safe, and that complicity probably helped him carry on being a menace for another decade or so. The Gaudie was my first taste of journalism and it lit a fire. Only after my stint as editor was I certain that I wanted to do a postgrad journalism course. That in turn led to a traineeship at The Scotsman where I spent six years and became Journalist of the Year. Another six good years followed at The Sunday Times. The highlight saw me cover the Lockerbie trial. I was in the Scottish court at Camp Zeist when Lord Sutherland, remarkably, announced that Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al-Megrahi was guilty of the Lockerbie bombing, despite all the evidence suggesting otherwise. On 2 July this year, I’ll have completed 13 years as a freelance. In that time I’ve had big stories in almost every major paper in the land, have expanded into magazines and am working on my first television documentary, as well as dabbling selectively in the PR world. Journalism has been good to me. I’ve never forgotten where it started. Marcello Mega Co-Head Editor 1987 I co-edited The Gaudie newspaper in 1986-7 with my great friend Karen Marshall who also happened to be my flat mate and remains a good friend – we have both ended up, in one way or another, in journalism for a good part of our careers. We both enjoyed the idea of journalism and had helped on the paper on and off in our student days. When the opportunity arose, we threw ourselves into the glamorous role of joint editors with an Ab-Fab joie de vivre. We imagined red-carpet invitations, PRs fawning all over us, interviews with Mick Jagger - and being sent amazing face creams to test. We then walked into the job and realised that, in fact, we were to report on why the Student Union had replaced its carpet and could somebody cover the new lunch menu at the refectory, please? Oh, and then there was the politics…. We enjoyed the banter, and we even enjoyed sitting up till 3am on our beds, cross-legged, proof reading the whole paper and finding typos. Back then there were no Macs, no digital photographs; I don’t even think the term ‘online’ was in use. It was all cut and paste, chasing for hard copies of photos and changing headlines at the last minute, as they simply didn’t fit on the page. Has it helped me in my career? I have always had printer ink running through my veins instead of blood. It all started with editing my school magazine (think stapled A4, written mainly by me), then The Gaudie, and after that I went on to work for various national women’s magazines both in-house and freelance. I’ve also written a novel and been signed by an agent, in amongst having three children and moving to Australia and back several times - so I think it’s fair to say that journalism and working with words has been my passion. As for Karen, she has worked as an editor and sub on several trade publications, whipping the magazines themselves and the editorial into shape. The Gaudie gave me an invaluable insight into what it takes to get a paper to print, and was a memorable student experience (as was my first Snakebite in Freshers’ Week). As an addendum to the fine words of my friend and fabulous wordsmith Kendra – I would just say that editing The Gaudie with her was one of the highlights of my time at Aberdeen and it did, as she said, set me on a course of journalism albeit not at the dizzy heights of Ms Smith – nae books from me (at least not yet). However, I did enjoy the inside world of the British Safety Council, Screen Printing, Fish Farming and more, as well as an enjoyable stint on the Lochgilphead Advertiser and on Scottish Field. None of those experiences could ever rival the time Kendra and I had to report on male strip show for The Gaudie though. I leave the rest of that to your imagination. As Kendra says, our days on The Gaudie were a far cry from the digital world we now live in, as were my first years in journalism – nights spent pasting bromides onto sheets for printing or getting articles ready to be typset. These days I run a pottery and craft studio, but just to keep my hand in, I write a walking column in a local magazine. While pottery has overtaken my life at the moment, the desire to write often surfaces. Kendra Smith and Karen Marshall Co-Head Editors 1986-1987 Co-Head Editor 2012 “Watching over us at Aberdeen University was an apparently willing hatchet man in the form of Principal Professor George McNicol” “I asked to join it immediately, becoming the Arts Editor. I got a T-shirt proclaiming to the world that I was part of Vox Pop. It turns out the world wasn’t very interested to know. “

8 The Gaudie 13 May 2014 Features www.thegaudie.co.uk What is it about the fictional character that appeals to us? Characters that draw us in, that captivate our attention and solicit our admiration, devotion and, most importantly, our empathy and sympathy? Is it their drive to achieve something bigger than themselves that we fear to pursue in our own lives? Is it the courage that they manifest in life? Is it the fact that they embody virtues that we long to perfect or perhaps vices that are as shackles to our feet? The latter of which we, seeing in them, long to comprehend, in a bid to learn how best to get rid, or exemplify, the same in ourselves? In order to come to a conclusion as to the power of the character, let’s examine two dramas that have been incredibly popular in recent years and centuries. Featured in ‘Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare’, the essence of Frank Underwood from Netflix’s original series House of Cards breaks through in an exhilarating manner in the trailer of the video game. According to the Call of Duty information site he is known as Jonathan Irons, founder and president of a private military company known as Atlas Corporation, who incites a conflict with the United States government over what he believes to be more than a century of America’s failed attempts at installing democracy across the world. In the trailer, he says: “People don’t want freedom. They want boundaries, rules. Protection. From invaders and from themselves: People need a leader who could give them both the supports and constraints to keep chaos at bay…” Perfectly mimicking the traits of personality we discover as we watch Frank Underwood grasp at power and attempt to forge his own destiny. But the question to ask is, what has led one of the world’s best selling games to choose a character from a popular net-vision series? Is this amalgamation of entertainment and the video-game industry one that is set to make a clear mark in the coming decades of the 21 century? First things first, the uniqueness of House of Cards lies in the fact that an entire series was released at the same time (which is unconventional). Secondly, the highly engaging plot and the expertise of Kevin Spacey in portraying his role, all the while engaging the audience, completes the bill of what makes a perfect production. Thus catapulting the series straight to the top and propagating an influence that will endure. Therefore, the selection of the likeness of Kevin Spacey’s character by makers of C.O.D not only confirms the powerful influence that Kevin Spacey projected as Frank Underwood but rather extends it. Let’s have a look at Kevin Spacey. Known as an enigmatic and talented individual, he keeps his private life closely guarded for the following reason: “the less you know about me, the easier it is to convince you that I am the character on the screen.” The examination of this quote suggests that the effectual portrayal of an image can be conducted by the individual playing the character; can it, therefore, be stated that in the realms of theatre and film that it is not only the character that brings popularity to a work of fiction but the actor? In terms of the power of the character, Shakespeare’s Hamlet perfectly fits the mould. It has that lasting legacy that has endured through the ages to our time. The tragedy where regicide is a theme among themes, Hamlet’s feigned madness results in his own madness, ending in his discovery of the truth and the annihilation of himself, those he loved and the villain himself. According to Vanderbilt University, Hamlet’s appeal lies in the historic tradition of the play and the hinging of the plot on the interaction of the characters and their relations. It is the power of the character that glimmers through the medium of the individual that actually creates this lasting influence that we ascertain when we view these works of art. This grips us, and keeps us involved in the programme or piece. Additionally, the strength of character of the individual itself has a large role to play in the success of any piece. And finally, this is true whether it is from the part of the person who writes the piece or the part of the person whose aspirations and resolve fit him or her to play out that role in real life. Photo/ businessinsider.com The might of today’s media From the Daily Mail to Fox news, Rosie Beetschen looks at how newspapers and agencies influence our thinking The power of the character Tarrick Haynes looks at powerful and charismatic central characters and their appeal Two weeks ago the Sunday Herald became the first newspaper to publicly back the Yes vote in the Scottish referendum. Emblazoned on the front cover of the paper, bordered with Saltires and bagpiping lions, sat a dominating thistle and the words “Sunday Herald says Yes”. This image alone would be enough to put fire in the hearts of even the most unsteady of pro-independence leaners but, although the paper states outright that they in no way wish to persuade others to vote Yes, this bold move calls into question the influence the press have in influencing the opinions of its readers. Loyalty to a newspaper is not something to scoff at: whether it be The Times, The Telegraph or the Daily Star, you choose to read a newspaper because you agree with its opinions. For example, a Guardian reader may see Edward Snowden as a hero fighting selflessly for truth whereas one reading the Daily Mail would have the general opinion that he is as good as a terrorist. In terms of those reading the Sunday Herald because of a belief in its opinions, it’s not unreasonable to suggest that one may, now, be more likely to vote Yes; it is not a choice through persuasion, rather by unconscious suggestion. It’s not just in politics, though, where your paper affects your thoughts and opinions: the same influence can be upon your lifestyle. Whenever my boyfriend and I visit his family, he hardly manages to sit down at the dinner table before his granny launches into a list of the many ways in which he is, in fact, dying, according to the Daily Mail. A quick glance over the Mail’s online health page yields examples of this immediately, with bold headlines “How eating tomatoes could increase male fertility” and “Feeling down? Try a tuna sandwich: Eating the fish found to reduce risk of depression by 25%”. Creating a world where white bread is assumed to be more deadly than Uranium and percentages are wildly and mindlessly made up in much the same way that One Direction write their lyrics, the Daily Mail has the ability to scare its readers into believing anything. The worst that can come of this really, though, is that you, in a sudden panicked realisation that you’re ageing too quickly, will adopt a diet of mainly asparagus and chia seeds for a couple of weeks. A more sinister influence of the media over the public can be ultimately epitomised in the case of Fox News Channel, an American cable and satellite news channel owned by the Fox Entertainment Group. Over the years, Fox News has been accused of being heavily politically biased: Former Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean referred to Fox News as a “right-wing propaganda machine” and CNN’s Larry King said in a 2007 interview with the Chicago Sun-Times that they were “a Republican brand”. Not only this, but they have also been accused of misrepresenting and ignoring facts they don’t agree with: a study by Media Matters for America found that between August 1 and October 1 2013, on Fox News “69 percent of guests and 75 percent of mentions cast doubt on climate science,” compared to “[half] of those quoted in The Wall Street Journal... about 29 percent in The Los Angeles Times, about 17 percent in the Washington Post and about 12 percent in Bloomberg News.” A station that can average 1.774 million viewers in primetime, Fox News has the ability to change the minds of a massive demographic, and uses it. The Sunday Herald’s announcement of their stance in the Independence Referendum is nothing to the severity of the pervasive opinions held by Fox News, but Fox provides an interesting case-study of a worryingly 1984-esque situation where the public mind-set can be subject to the will of a higher force. The Sunday Herald wrote that the reason they were pro-Yes was so Scotland could aim for a “better, more decent, more just future in which a country’s governments will be ruled always by the decisions of its citizens”. The problem is, however, that these decisions can be manipulated, perhaps unconsciously or perhaps with intent, by everyday experiences, Photo/ yesmoray.org such as reading the morning paper.

13 May 2014 9 Opine [email protected] The Gaudie Editor: Sofiane Kennouche Debate: Life or Lecture? Emily Thorburn and Sofiane Kennouche, students from the Class of 2014, reflect upon their time, experiences and life at the University of Aberdeen Four years ago in September, I moved from Edinburgh to Aberdeen as an eager fresher, desperate to begin my time at University. For me, the decision to continue my education and follow in the footsteps of my parents - one of whom also studied in Aberdeen - was a fairly easy one. As a Scottish student, I was fortunate enough to have SAAS giving me a hand financially. Whilst some of my school friends were not convinced that university for them, I was excited to relocate and begin a new chapter in my life; a chapter which, regrettably, has come to an end all too quickly. I am a firm believer that university is what you make it and I’d like to think I’ve made the best of my time here. As an Arts student, the structure and set up of my degree has allowed me great scope to experiment with different courses, particularly in the first couple of years. I’ve studied English, Literature in a World Context, Politics, History - you name it; I’ve probably studied it. I started as an MA (Hons) English student, before changing to become a MA (Hons) English and Politics student… and then changing back again (my advisor loved dealing with me!). My point is that because of generous degree structure I was able to make sure that English was the right degree for me. And hey, that statistical course they made me do in Politics is still on my CV. Through my time in Aberdeen I’ve been continually learning; both inside and outside the lecture theatre. The simple fact is that when you don’t live with your parents, you have to learn to be a resilient and independent. I’ve learnt fairly simple things like how to change a lightbulb and cook a healthy meal, but I’ve also acquired skills in dealing with flat dramas and dodgy landlords. I’ve matured greatly while at university and part of this new found ‘adultness’ has stemmed from not being able to get my parents to fix all my problems for me. I’m lucky in the sense that Edinburgh is not vastly far from Aberdeen and that I can call on my parents for support in absolute times of need, but it’s far enough away that they couldn’t possibly drive up every time a fuse blew. University is also about offering people opportunities that they may not get elsewhere. During my time in Aberdeen, I’ve gained a wealth of experience in media and journalism, as a writer and editor for The Gaudie. This is something I would not easily have been able to do elsewhere but it is something I’ve truly enjoyed and something that will (hopefully!) make me a more employable graduate. I’ve dabbled in joining societies ranging from The English Society, through to the Fashion and First Aid Societies. Some of them I’ve liked and some haven’t quite been my thing. However, that’s the beauty of the student experience; we’re free to give these things a bash and develop new hobbies that we can take forward after graduating. I would be lying if I said my experiences here had been entirely perfect. Elements of my course still grind my gears - English Department, get with the times and start typing your feedback! - and at the lowest points of my dissertation, I did question why I’d bothered coming to university. However, on the whole my experiences here have been positive. I would never advocate that university is for everyone and I do appreciate that I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have both financial and parental support during my studies, which regrettably not everyone has. However, I would state with certainty that attending the University of Aberdeen has been one the most exciting, challenging and fulfilling experiences of my life and it is something that I would highly recommend to others. As for my post-graduate plans, I’m not 100% sure where I’ll end up, or what I will be doing, however, I know that I’ll be more well-rounded and more employable graduate because of my experiences in Aberdeen. I’d recommend it to all. By Emily Thorburn “I am a firm believer that university is what you make it.” Week one of Fourth Year is still fresh in my mind. Looking at the Sociology course guide stretching out before me until May 2014, I was lulled into thinking that I had plenty of time left with which to savour the rigours and perks of student life. I write this after my last-ever seminar, whilst feeling slightly crestfallen that this year has progressed so quickly. Make no mistake; your last year at university will slip through your fingers faster than you would have originally predicted it would. It’s not so much a matter of keeping track of this time; it’s more one of making sure that you utilise it to the fullest. During my time at Aberdeen, I’ve counted myself extremely lucky to have the friends that I have made. As well as progressing through my chosen degree of English Literature and Sociology, I’ve had the pleasure of a season as a defender with Aberdeen University Men’s Football Club and, latterly, becoming Opine Editor of this perennial publication. I’ve always tried to get involved and make a go of things that I’m interested by: it’s better to try, even without success, than wonder later on what could have been. So what have my four years at Aberdeen done for my future prospects? I’m incredibly fortunate to say that I’m progressing onto a Journalism postgraduate course after the summer, in my attempts to convert what is currently a hobby into a full-blown professional career. A lifelong interest in the written word has driven me to pursue this life ambition, and I’m prepared to commit to it. Despite this opportunity at further study, I firmly believe that university offers just as many (if not more) life lessons as academic lessons. It is absolutely essential that students give extracurricular activities consideration – not just for their CVs, but for their social lives too. Cast your mind back to your first year, and how you met the people you now talk to virtually every day. In September 2010, I met one of my closest friends for the first time in JP’s bar, at an event for students unlucky enough to be 17 during Freshers’. Example’s ‘Kickstarts’ was the song of Freshers’ Week 2010; a week I spent most of (somewhat paradoxically) in RGU:Union surrounded by my future coursemates. Would I have met these people had I actually done any of the reading or introductory stuff in Freshers’? Probably not. In a similar vein, going for a casual kickabout with some course mates eventually led to a tryout for the Men’s 4. Wednesday afternoons on damp, lumpy football pitches in full AUFC Kukri kit were followed by the sports team rowdiness that was Liquid or Pearl Lounge on a Wednesday. I still have my AUFC tie as a memento of my time with ‘The Oilers’ in 2012. As I gained a clear vision of what I wanted to do with my life, I devoted more and more time to The Gaudie. Long evenings spent writing articles were swapped for an election speech and the hushed silence of The Gaudie bat cave. Not much has changed in this regard, though – you still have to edit things and chew over sentence structure, even if it isn’t your work. Above all, the take-home point in this article is that, by all means, apply yourself academically. If you don’t try to maximise your grades, then you don’t really deserve to be at university, in my view. In trying to prove your worth academically, though, it is just as important to take the opportunities that come your way to diversify both your interests and social groups. It’s all well and good being an expert in feminist culture in Victorian literature, but that won’t get you a table - or date to - the Graduation Ball. During my four years as an undergraduate, the lecture halls and seminar rooms of King’s College have imparted their knowledge and furnished me with the technical skills with which to further hone my writing. However, it’s the dancefloors, football pitches, beach barbeques and student halls parties that have taught me the most useful life lessons as a student. By Sofiane Kennouche “It is absolutely essential that students give extracurricular activities consideration” Photo/ Ewa Czerwinska

10 The Gaudie 13 May 2014 Opine www.thegaudie.co.uk We asked Fourth Years what their greatest memory was during their time at Aberdeen. Hannah Smith, Fourth Year Secondary Education and Politics ‘For me, it has to be the student show I was involved in earlier this year. P e r f o r m i n g on stage at HMT to almost sellout audiences was an absolutely amazing experience!’ Oliver Stone, Fourth year English Literature ‘ K i n g ’ s Ball 2014 was pretty a m a z i n g , dancing the night away with The Gaudie team was a great way of seeing out my time as Head Copy Editor. Handing in my dissertation last week was also a highlight. Generally, the whole four years of university have been unforgettable.’ Isla Hodgson, Fourth Year Zoology ‘My best memory is yet to come: handing in my thesis on Minke Whale Habitat Use in the Moray Firth!’ aLook out for red polo shirts on campus! There are few constants in life, but experiences are one of them. Not only are we constantly experiencing things, we are also a product of our past. Naturally, we all have our different life stories - each as self-absorbed as the next - and we all have our own take on similar events. The question as I see it, however, is what makes for a good experience? In my humble view, any experience is a good one provided it is treated in the right way. While it would be easy to dismiss every struggle and every hardship as merely something bad which happened to us, there is more to be said. While it is true that many of us will have had obstacles in our lives which left us tired, depressed, or disillusioned, it is also true that we usually get past them. For the most part, people come through tough times and are the better for it. Negative experiences give us the tools to prevent them from recurring in the future. Every time we make mistakes or something bad happens to us, we have garnered more knowledge and enhanced ourselves as individuals. This knowledge is empowering. Very rarely do we see the value of misfortune in the deepest moments of a struggle; it is not always a conscious development but these lessons are something which we do absorb. The person suffering from depression who gradually has more good days than bad may not see that they are becoming better at dealing with it; they may think they are cured. Yet, that person has not just stopped being depressed: most of the time they have beaten it themselves and have found a way to prevent it being the problem it once was. Of course, good experiences can be just as useful. As valuable as it is being able to combat bad experiences, it is also just as productive to be able to harness the circumstances which create the good times. Again, this is not always a conscious decision or choice but it is something we can carry with us. It may be that is easier for you to look back on good times than the bad times. You may be able to identify what made it good and replicate that moment in the future. You may not be able to identify one single aspect, but you might find yourself getting into experiences similar to previous good ones in the search to duplicate it. Even if we don’t identify specific aspects of our past which have yielded positive or negative outcomes, there is still much to be said for going through good and bad experiences. They, at the end of the day, are who we are. They make us better at dealing with our constantly-progressing lives; ultimately, they make us better people. It is rare that our experiences genuinely break us or make us into something less than what we ought to be. From time to time the worst struggles will bring us down and will, in some cases, break a minority of people. For every person worn down by the hardships of our times, there must be at least two more who flourish and contribute something which we may never have had beforehand. This may seem an optimistic view but there is surely no other explanation for the success of the human race and our civilisation. Were we to be broken down by every challenge or period of difficulty we would be nothing. We hear incredible stories of individuals who have overcome barrier after barrier and who then go on to inspire countless others. We see a civilisation which has triumphed over natural disasters, harnessed science to protect us from diseases and has become more peaceful than at any point in human history. The modern world is no easy place to live in, but the longer we stick around, the better we get at it - all thanks to the accumulation of both good and bad human experiences. Hard-knock life Nicholas Layden opines on the meanings of the best and worst life experiences “As valuable as it is being able to combat bad experiences, it is also just as productive to be able to harness the circumstances which create the good times.” Facebook seems to dominate our lives, yet despite only being ten years old, it has over one billion users. That’s one Facebook account per seven people in the world. The social media site has been in the news a lot recently, particularly with the surprise purchasing of messaging app ‘WhatsApp’ and more recently Oculus VR. However, as well as buying other companies to expand their market share and compete, Facebook constantly finds itself reinventing its layout and design. But will the most recent layout, which has been slowly rolled out the past few months, help Facebook’s cause? Will it help keep Facebook’s place as the second most used website? The most striking aspect of the new design is the top bar, particularly the Facebook logo. The social networking site has gone back to basics by scrapping the ‘Facebook’ full word, logo and replacing it with a minimalist white box with a blue lower case ‘f’, contrasting with the Facebook logo for its app, which has the colours the other way around. It’s simple. It’s sweet. And as the Facebook brand is so recognisable that they do not to have their full name on the page, it’s pretty effective. Compare this with the Google white ‘g’ and blue background, or the white ‘g’ with red, yellow, green and blue surrounding it. They just do not seem to lunge out at us. For some reason Facebook can pull off this simplistic approach. However, the new layout is not perfectly in tune with my picky taste. For starters the search bar at the top of the page is slightly too far to the left than I would like. Ideally, it would be placed directly above the ‘Update Status’ bar, in line with the news feed. Furthermore, the other irritable thing about the new layout is the new positions of the ‘Friend Requests’ ‘Chat’ and ‘Notifications’ buttons. From being at the top the left of our screens they have been transported to the top right. This is annoying for two reasons. First of all, our muscle memory is used to going to the top left when we get notifications. And secondly, as someone who is openly a Netflix addict, the old trick of splitting the screen in two to watch Kevin Spacey on one side and have Facebook on the other can no longer work with such efficiency as the Netflix page is much smaller than would be ideal to still see the notifications icons. From what started off as an attempt at a critical analysis of Facebook’s new features this has developed into a first world problems rant. But instead of continuing to a conclusion where I discuss how despite Facebook’s flaws, as long as it doesn’t turn on privacy and continues to reinvent itself, our generation will stick with it for a long time, while the next fall for something new and exciting, I’ll leave you with something I’ve been thinking about for a while. Have a search for the video, on Youtube, ‘Look Up’ by Gary Turk. If you click on it and it starts with ‘I have 422 friends, yet I’m lonely’ you’ve found the right one. Just take five minutes to watch it and have a think. The video shows the story of a man’s life and how addicted we really are to social media and the like, as well as stressing how our generation is so reliant on technology. I love all the wonders sites such as Facebook bring, despite its new design flaws, mainly the fact that I can keep in contact with family in the US and friends across Europe and organise events. But the video hammers in an important message: while this technology is important and enjoyable, it’s all too often not very productive. And doing something else even just for a moment could change the direction our lives are heading. Facebook: social media simplified Richard Wood compares old and new designs and looks at the wider impact of social media and new technologies “The Facebook brand is so recognisable that they do not have to have their full name on the page.” Photo/ Anders McDonally

13 May 2014 11 www.thegaudie.co.uk The Gaudie Disclaimer All opinions expressed in the Opine section are those of the authors of the articles, and do not necessarily represent views held by The Gaudie, AUSA, or any company which advertises in The Gaudie Opine Occurring every four years, the World Cup is one of my favorite tournaments of the summer; I have even made sure my flight from Seattle to San Francisco gets in on time for the final. It is the sense of unity the Cup brings within a nation that I feel is something extraordinary. I watch the World Cup every four years without fail and I have always had that passion for an España win. Brazil has been gearing up fast in order to prepare for the tournament and I cannot wait to see the final results. I feel commercialism is a big part of the games: when you first see the Coca-Cola can with the football on the side, you instantly know its World Cup time. Pepsi, although not an official sponsor, has recently launched their new campaign by adding the faces of the main players of each team to their cans. I feel this is very effective, as sometimes I have had to describe who Andres Inestia or Lionel Messi are and now they are on the front of Pepsi cans. The recent Nike advert is nothing short of genius. Yes, it does add the players in the advert but it also has the young boys who will most likely be watching the games. I feel it is a nice combination with the famous football players and the young lads who are both passionate about football and the games. Every stage in the tournament is exciting, from the group stages to the finals. I may for a while be supporting any team; however, ultimmately I will be cheering on Spain and their dynamic team once again. The World Cup is not the only tournament I will be watching this summer. I watch Wimbledon every year and with the success of last year I feel it will be something special to watch again. Rafa Nadal has been back on form recently, which will make it even more exciting. Again, the Robinsons advert has been effective as always. Last year it had people in their living-rooms watching Wimbledon and cheering Andy Murray on for him to be the first male British Champion since Fred Perry in 1934. Wimbledon is another exciting sport that unites friends and family, particularly if there is a Brit to cheer on. I feel the adverts bring a sense of the events drawing nearer. You know that Robinsons relates to Wimbledon and Coca-Cola is a sponsor of the World Cup. The Coca-Cola advert for the Cup adds to the idea that football, and the World Cup, is for all of us as it breaks down the divides. It doesn’t matter if we are watching it away or if we are at home, we are still involved, and it is these connections that the adverts are celebrating. The Commonwealth games are coming to Glasgow this year and although I am not a huge fan of the games themselves, I think it is really beneficial to the city and for Scotland. I cannot say I have seen much commercialism to link to the games, however, I know they have significant partners in Virgin Media and BP. It has been well advertised on buses and around cities that the games are coming to Scotland and I know many people who have bought tickets for the games on the back of this. On the whole, the World Cup in particular, as well as Wimbledon, will be the most played tournaments that I watch on my iPad this summer when I am off on my travels, and I am sure I will have can of Cola or glass of Robinsons nearby. The World Cup and Wimbledon: what more could you want? Shona Duthie gives a run down of the big sporting events this summer “I feel commercialism is a big part of the games: when you first see the Coca-Cola can with the football on the side you instantly know it’s World Cup time.” Come and join the Gaudie team! Sport Editor is responsible for choosing and sourcing articles on Aberdeen’s sporting scene! The ideal candidate would have a genuine passion for the brilliant sports scene which this University offers and would be willing to dedicate time to gathering relevant and interesting content. Tasks which will need to be undertaken in the role include establishing and maintaining relationships with the University’s teams and clubs and keeping on top of sporting events, local, national and international. Sport Editor Do you have a keen eye for a good snap? Good. Then you should probably apply for this fantastic position at the Gaudie. You will create a team of photographers amd will work along side the section editors in order to create quality original content to compliment the articles in the paper. It would also be vastly helpful if you have a particularly nice camera of your own. Photography Editor To register your interest in any of these positions email [email protected] with around 250 words on why you would be a suitable candidate. The position will be then interviewed in the new year. Photo/ Bo Mertz (wikimedia) Photo/ Brazilian Government (wikimedia)

12 13 May 2014 Editorial [email protected] The Gaudie Editors: Alasdair Lane & Emily Thorburn Editorial Team Head Editors Deputy Editor News Editors Features Editor Opine Editor Satire Editor Life & Style Editor Arts Editor Listings Editor Sport Editor Photography Editor Gaudie TV Editor Head Copy Editor Copy Editing Team Deputy Section Editors Production Team Head of Production Production Assistants Online Manager Online Publishing Assistant Editor-in-Chief Emily Thorburn and Alasdair Lane Maria Suessmilch Dan Naylor and Anna Katila Grant Costello Sofiane Kennouche Hamish Roberts Alicia Jensen Elizabeth Ozolins Josiah Bircham Stuart Bill Ewa Czerwinska Sebastian Clej Oliver Stone Rosie Beetschen, Holly Dobbin Rachel Clark (News); Richard Wood (Opine); Ashley Sevadjian (L&S); Michael Cameron, Andrew Parker (Arts); Josefine Björkqvist (Sport) Maria Suessmilch Josiah Bircham, James Teasdale, George Mathew, Frédérique Manceau, Manuel Lopez Darren Coutts Steven Kellow Megan Dunn We voluntarily adhere to the Press Complaints Commission Code of Conduct (www.pcc.org.uk) and aim to provide fair and balanced reporting. Butchart Centre University Road Old Aberdeen AB24 3UT Tel: 01224 272980 Do you have an event you would like to advertise in The Gaudie? If so, email us at [email protected]. Every society and sport club are entitled to two quarter page adverts free every year. If you are a company wishing to advertise in The Gaudie, please also contact [email protected]. Disclaimer: All opinions expressed in the Editorial section are those of the authors of the articles, and do not necessarily represent views held by The Gaudie, AUSA, or any company which advertises in The Gaudie. An editor’s farewell I can remember writing my first editorial fairly well. It was for the 2013/14 Graduation edition and it was about the hike in tuition fees and what the implications of this was in terms of students getting value for money. I specifically remember calling up my Co-Editor in a blind panic declaring wildly that ‘I don’t know how to write an editorial! How is it different to a normal article? HELP ME!’ Fortunately, somewhere down the line this year my editorial writing abilities seem to have improved and I’ve never been in such a blind panic again since. Over the last week I’ve given particular thought to this edition of The Gaudie and specifically what I would say in my last ever editorial. I could sprout some cliché about how student journalism has been the best thing I’ve done while at university and, to a great extent, that is the truth. I’ve certainly spent more time on some articles or choosing the right photos to complete a page than I have on some essays (this statement goes some way to explaining my questionable results for that Scottish Literature course, whoops). However, I feel to just brand the experience as wonderful and delightful would be slightly unrealistic because actually, in addition to being wonderful, it’s been a lot of hardwork. I think it would be fairer to say that my time at The Gaudie has been the most rewarding thing I’ve done since being in Aberdeen. I became involved as a writer in 2011 and I can quite clearly remember the feeling of having my first article published; I was incredibly chuffed and I definitely thought I’d reached the journalistic big time. Move over Guardian, I’ve written for The Gaudie. I took over the running of the Arts section in my third year, which was, to be blunt, hard timeconsuming work. However, (and I know, this is a horrible cliché) each time I picked up that week’s edition of the paper and saw how my section had come alive on the page, I knew why I wanted to keep going. Really, my experiences as a writer and as section editor were done, in essence, for me. Call it an exercise in narcissism but seeing my name on the editorial list really kept me interested. However, the Head Editor role has been much more focussed (as the name would suggest) on leading a team and when I take a moment to reflect on this year, I think the main word that comes to mind is proud. I’m proud to have led such a fantastic team of people who have worked continuously through essay, exam and dissertation time to put the paper together. I’m proud of our writers for generating such interesting and engaging content, week in and week out, and I’m immensely proud of our Head of Production and production assistants for being such Indesign whizzkids. And I’m also highly proud of anyone who is brave enough to copy edit my articles. As a team, we’ve achieved a lot this year: two popular stands at the Freshers’ Fayre, a successful introductory lecture, 3 Kings Award winners, securing a personalised journalism training course for our editorial team in London and the launch of GaudieTV. Not to mention 13 highly successful, ontime editions of the paper. I am incredibly proud of everyone and everything that has made The Gaudie what it has been this last year. Good luck to the incoming team; I know the paper is in good hands. I expect a mailed a copy of each edition. My experience at The Gaudie has been invaluable and I will miss it. By Emily Thorburn “I could sprout some cliché about how student journalism has been the best thing I’ve done while at university and, to a great extent, that is the truth.” Photo/ Anders McDonnaly “As a team, we’ve achieved a lot this year: two popular stands at the Freshers’ Fayre, a successful introductory lecture, 3 Kings Award winners, securing a personalised journalism training course for our editorial team in London and the launch of GaudieTV.”

13 May 2014 The Gaudie 13 The Silver Tongue Editor: Hamish Roberts [email protected] PR man rebrands PR Last week saw the sentencing of Max Clifford for paedophilia and sexual assault on 8 counts. The former public relations whizz will face 8 years in jail, or as he calls it ‘a one-bed self-contained, secure property in a modern complex (bills included) for £0pcm’. It’s a bargain, considering the location: (HMP) Wandsworth, central London which boasts excellent transport connections, entertainment facilities, Wandsworth Common, and shops including a Londis and a selection of good newsagents. Clifford commented upon his sentence: ‘It was a tough sell for me, but I managed to convince them in the end that I was worth the investment.’ ‘I sold the judge his wig way back in the day so I had my foot in the door before anything had begun. I’m delighted with the result; I’m getting more media coverage now than I ever have done in my career.’ The irony continued as he rebranded the face of PR: a metabranding. PR is now commonly accepted to refer to Paedophile Register. The trial, a success for all parties involved, is the first conviction of a number of sleazy 70’s and 80’s television personalities. Rolf Harris and his didgeridoo is next and, yes Rolf, we can tell ‘what it is yet’: your metaphorical erect penis, presumably when watching Blue Peter. No doubt his hit-single of the 1960s, ‘Tie me Kangaroo Down Sport’ was in fact an encrypted message to fellow marsupial abusers. Conspiracy theorists have been out in force, accusing the Royal Family of covering up the Australian’s alleged atrocities, awarding Rolf a MBE, an OBE and a CBE from the 1960s onwards. Warlord Prince Andrew was overheard in a war-torn country’s embassy as saying, ‘1997 and Diana was just a decoy; commonwealth relations had to come first, and Rolf was the only ‘cultural’ export of Australia – we had to prioritise him.’ The Guardian’s online article comments section burst at its vir- tual seams, metaphorically palpitating over a tenuous and excluding Steve Bell cartoon about Rolf, whom the Jury at Southwark Crown Court described as a ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ character. Distraction from the European elections was short-lived, with ‘SocIalisTPessImiSt.Blair.4Lyf’ pronouncing how, although the EU was a problematic body, it remains ‘paramount to British economic recovery’. Commenter ‘EuroOr£’ replied tentatively, not wanting to offend anyone’s intelligence by writing that ‘Eurosceptics are not all tw*ts’ and that in his office nearly everyone was ‘well informed’ on the pressing issue. The BBC and Dave have cancelled next month’s back to back airings of Animal Hospital, both stating that they were unsure about the welfare of many of the anaesthetised pets in the show, presented by Harris. Speculation over many of the late twentieth century’s television presenters has been voiced which teeters on the brink of destroying many adolescent’s childhoods. Will the Chuckle brothers (Paul or Barry), Art Attack’s Neil Bu- chanan or the dog, Pippin from Come Outside be next to reserve their place on the PR list? By Hamish Roberts Shartography This new app will never let you get your soles shitty, your foot squelchy or your laces crappy ever again. It’s what Ptolemy never achieved, what Cook could not manage and what Rocque could only dream of. Avoiding sh*te has always been relevant, since the beginning of civilization, and now it is here: at your fingertips. Shartography, or Shit-cartography, keeps you up to date when you’re on the move by plotting hazardous defecations on your journey. Just enter your proposed route and Shartography will steer you clear. As a communal app, Shartography relies on a dedicated neighbourhood watch team to scour the pavements and keep you informed of any crap ahead. In addition to accurately identifying the fecal matter, Shartographers are trained to provide you with the shit’s type, colour, species it came from and what the animal (or human) ate. Also revealed will be the diameter of the pet’s anus (DOA). Below is a screenshot preview. Social demographers and Aber- deen City Council have expressed unanimous support of this project, possible social benefits could include a more strategic placement of dog poo bins in the future, and the identification of littering hotspots where there is a high concentration of seagull shit. Researchers are excited by the potential of this app in plotting for deciphering the demographic of urban areas, discovering any correlations between the refinement of the dog shit and the owner’s salary. As Robert Frost said: ‘Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less covered in shit’ Text SHIT to 5817 to get your free trial By S. Ewer One last ode, to a lost Diamond ‘Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds’, ‘Diamonds are forever’, ‘Diamonds on the soles of her shoes’, ‘Diamonds’, ‘Shine on You Crazy Diamond’, Songs by the Beatles, Shirley Bassey, Paul Simon, Kanye West and Pink Floyd: artists have been obsessed for years, And they’re still a girl’s best friend, But this Diamond in the ruff remains a scruff. A valiant knight, behind a desk, with the heating on all the time, Administrates from his throne. Presiding over meetings and siphoning off, What he thinks he should own. A new library – Rice, not nice – unimaginably deplored, The high court of the Uni, wallows in architectural awards. But fear not, Diamond strives to shine, And take pay away from them. Cut, cut, cut, push, push, push, Oh how he will never gleam. Halal, is it meat you’re looking for? The recent controversy spun out of any proportion by the illustrious Dail Mail has seen Halal meat get a bashing. The ethical practice has been condemned as equivalent to Islamic Extremism. In a week which saw the return of Abu Hamza to the headlines, the Mail was reeling in a misinformed cross-religious frenzy, asking its readers in a poll how kosher they were. In a meat and greet run by the government, a new policy on religious integration was rolled out. Despite being a controversial step, it is predicted no blood will be spilt – Halalujuah! The Daily Mail ran a story claiming that it spotted a middle-class white boy, Hugo, aged 14, eating Halal meat. The article finished by claiming that the boy was an Isalmic extremist and people should keep a safe distance, especially when he is on his way to orchestra practice in his lunch break at St. Giles’ School for Boys, . One can never be sure as to what is kept in a Flute case in the present, dangerous age. The tabloid also claimed that Hugo was in with a chance of winning the Premier League title, was in the running for taking the helm at manager-less Manchester United and would be next to be divorced by Katie Price. By Halalious “PR is now commonly accepted to refer to Paedophile Register.” “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less covered in shit”

Mental Health Awareness Week is 12th-18th May and the focus this year is on anxiety, which coincides with the exam period for students. According to the Mental Health Foundation, the UK’s leading mental health and learning disability charity, one in four of us will experience a mental health problem such as anxiety or depression each year. Anxiety is something we all experience from time to time. Most people have periods of feeling stressed or fearful, for example at the thought of sitting an exam, giving a presentation, meeting new people or going for an interview. Often these worries can affect your sleep, appetite and ability to concentrate. Usually the anxiety disappears once the stressful event has passed. This type of short-term anxiety can be useful as it can increase your alertness and enhance your performance. Biologically, feelings of anxiety have their origins in the ‘fight or flight’ reflex with the aim of protecting you from danger. In these circumstances, anxiety and fear trigger the release of hormones, such as adrenalin, which has accompanying physical symptoms, such as: These responses are designed to increase your alertness and prepare you for action. However, if your feelings of anxiety are more severe, your ability to concentrate may suffer, your moods can fluctuate and you may experience an exaggeration of the body’s normal response to fear. If this is the case, you may decide to seek help, such as some form of therapy or medication. Whether your anxiety is acute or chronic, there are things that you can do which can help you to reduce your symptoms to a more manageable level, oulined to the right. One useful website is www. livinglifetothefull.com, written by a psychiatrist experienced in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, offering access to useful and practical life skills in reducing anxiety, healthy living, understanding and changing thoughts and behaviour as well as how to use medication to its best benefit. Another useful website is www. moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk, designed to offer information and advice to those experiencing troublesome thoughts, feelings and actions. It includes guides on conditions such as depression, anxiety, stress, panic and sleep problems and obtain information on organisations, services and other self-help materials. 14 13 May 2014 Life & Style The Gaudie Editor: Alicia Jensen Style On Campus JOY ADEWUSI 2nd Year Neuroscience Joy dresses according to what she feels like and shops at Topshop, River Island and Zara. JOSHUA PEREIRA Joshua works for River Island and came up with my new favourite fashion term: ‘smasual’ - a mix of smart and casual styles! SABRINA LIMAN 4th Year Petroleum Engineering Sabrina’s style is weatherreflected and comfy, with a simple but smart look. WILLIAM MONTEITH 4th Year Petroleum Geology William’s style is a mix of outdoorsy and Indie looks. He likes it cheap’n tasteful and shops at TK Maxx and Charity stores. CHUBBE ANUCHA 2nd Year Pharmacology The city kid Chubbe from Edinburgh listens to electronic Indie tunes and shops at Topman and Urban Outfitters. Photos/ Polly Roquette Talking about anxiety Angela Bolt, head of service at the University Councelling service, gives tips on dealing with anxiety · Accelerated heart rate · Shallow, faster breathing · Increased tension which may result in headaches or other physical pains · Digestive disturbance · Increased perspiration · Dry mouth · Become aware of what makes you anxious and signs that show you are stressed: identify what you need · Take care of yourself physically – get sufficient sleep, regularly exercise, eat well · Establish a balance of work and time off – give yourself a break every day · Avoid excess alcohol, tobacco and other mood-altering substances that affect your performance · Establish a strong support network of friends and family · Manage your time efficiently and set your priorities · Give yourself credit for what you have achieved and allow treats to look forward to · Take care of yourself emotionally and give yourself opportunities to talk about your feelings · Ask for help when you need it What you can do to reduce symptoms

Today’s society is one of constant updates and instant uploads. With Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat, Tumblr and other such social media, our every moment is captured in megapixels and videos. Through the medium of digital photography, we can instantly capture special moments and share them with the world. But should we really? Is the ‘over-sharing’ gene becoming an ingrained part of our society? And with filters and editing software available very cheaply, are we seeing the world through a rose-tinted filter? When you were younger, there was something special about having your camera with only 50 pictures available to take. So you concentrated on making every picture special, not blurry or with anyone pulling stupid faces (unless you were orchestrated to). You essentially had to take the picture and hope for the best. Then, once the holiday was over and the film used up, you would take it to the pharmacy to get them developed. Then of course there would be the hilarity of looking through them and finding all the bloopers in them, like someone blinking or something hilarious in the background. My parents pulling out a huge box of photos to sort was like stepping into another world. I spent hours looking at baby photos of myself and my sister and even some of my parents before they had children. I got to see what they really looked like or how bad their camera skills were. There were no filters but you didn’t really need them: the photos seemed better without any editing. They captured real life which is not perfect and not always beautiful. With the rise of social media as a platform with which to show off our photos, there is no privacy. You have no control over what happens to that photo. What seems like a harmless photo of a night out at the time could stop you from getting your dream job. And the harm from social media doesn’t stop there. With widespread cheap editing applications available, most photos are not real adaptations of what you look like. They have been primped, changed and distorted to look like a ‘better’ version of you. And with the media constantly bombarding us with the ‘ideal’ body image, it is difficult to know what real bodies look like. Through this, it is easy to get a distorted image of what you should look like, creating body complexes and eating disorders. And social media can continue to help this: popular photo-sharing platform Instagram has many accounts dedicated to getting the ‘perfect body’, and slimming down. This new ‘Thinspiration’ culture has only been encouraged by social media, and has led to a ban on the hashtags #thinspo #anorexia or #bulimia from Instagram and any accounts that promote these ideas. This perhaps is not enough but it is a step in the right direction to regulating these potentially harmful ideals. Not all of the platforms have banned this though, so things like this are still relatively easy to find. And there has not been a ban on ‘Big and Beautiful’ accounts that promote obesity and eating far too much. This other end of the scale is left completely unregulated and is just as harmful to body images as thinspiration can be to others. In a culture now obsessed with sharing our every move online, there are some that take oversharing to a new level. Gone are the days of home-videos only shown to a chosen few. Now, everyone can be a part of your special day, whether it be a wedding, birthday, engagement, and even your child’s birth! This begets the question: who wants to see these things? People know what happens when you give birth - do they need to see it? You can just take pictures of the baby, which is the most important part of that ordeal. This whole culture of over-sharing leads us to question if there should be limits or checks about what is put up online on sites like Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. There are fantastic benefits to capturing every special moment in your life, and sharing it with friends all over the world (for free I may add). However, there cannot be positives without negatives. Body distortion and editing have led to an unrealistic ideal of beauty and what is healthy. Images that would never see the light of day are publically displayed online for all to see, and the ability to see what everyone else is doing is simple, easy to use and available to everyone. Whether you think this is a good ability just depends on your viewpoint, and how interested you are in other people’s lives. 13 May 2014 15 www.thegaudie.co.uk The Gaudie Life & Style MY TOP5 Summer plans 1 Earn money for the next year Have you just been elected to a committee for the next academic year? Or have you struggled with university work? Both take time, which means that you may not be able to keep up with a part-time job during uni next year. The best solution to this is to fill up your wallet over the summer so you don’t need to worry about money next year! 2 Get an internship If you are graduating next year, an ideal scenario for your summer would be getting an internship or a placement, to add something to your CV. So take the time to fill out an application form, it will be worth it. And don’t forget to be prepared and look smartbecause they might offer you a job after you graduate. 3 Enjoy the sun and a blue sea while you work Many hotels and resorts offer summer jobs in Ibiza, Majorca or Malta. Knowing how expensive is to live there; you might not earn anything for the next year. However, casual work in a bar meeting a variety of tourists, swimming in the sea every morning and exploring a new land will make you ready for the next term! 4Learn a new language Even if you don’t get a job, you can still broaden your mind reading books and learning a new language. Without deadlines on your mind, your brain will absorb new information easily. If you are already familiar with a foreign language, go on a summer camp where you could improve it. Or, if it’s too expensive, find a family in a foreign country which could give you a living for working at their house. 5 Stay at home and make the most of it Go home and spend the summer with your family! You probably haven’t seen them for a while and it might be your last chance for a longer stay, so visit everything that you missed. Watch a film with your mum, help your dad to fix his car again and drink some tea with your grandmother. You should even visit your beloved teacher who never shouted at you when you forgot to do your homework, and say hi to that old woman who complained about you playing with the ball outside: show her what a polite person you’ve become! By Tadas Cilcius “Through the medium of digital photography, we can instantly capture special moments, and share them with the world. But should we? .... Are we seeing the world through a rose-tinted filter?” Rome is the classic city break, and, because of this, I’ve of- ten ignored it or even com- pletely forgotten about it when I’m looking for a holiday destination. It’s also notoriously expensive. However, this Easter, I caved in and decided to give Rome a chance. Rome really does have all the things you could want from a short city break. It’s got the history, it’s got the art, it’s got the food, it’s got the culture, it’s got the high-end fashion. Whatever you are after, you will find it here in Rome. Unfortunately, Rome does have the reputation of being particularly expensive and, the truth is, you do have to be prepared to empty your wallet. However, with a bit of plan- ning and thinking ahead, there are ways of getting around and enjoy- ing Rome to the fullest, even on a student budget! Start with finding cheap flights to Rome by investing in a budget airline flight. Additionally, you can catch the train from both the city airports right into the centre of Rome. The underground is also ef- ficient and cheap and, although it can be crowded, it gets you around the city on a student budget. Many of the main attractions ac- commodate for a student budget, making sightseeing significantly cheaper. The Colosseum offers a reduced Ticket for EU citizens between the ages of 18 and 25, so remember to bring some ID if you are from the EU. The Colosseum tickets also gives you entry to the Palatine Hill and Roman Forum for the same price. The Vatican also offers student rates with a valid student ID card, so remember to bring that too! Admission to the Vatican is free on the last Sunday of every month, so try and plan well ahead if you can. Entry to St. Peter’s Square is also free and the Pope’s sermon on a Wednesday morning is free of charge as well. The Vatican is often criticised for being crowded and people often comment of feeling like they are being herded around like sheep, but I think it is well worth the visit. When I went to the Vatican I paid extra to skip the queues with a tour-guide: although this was expensive, I didn’t have to stand in the four-hour long queue (I’ve been told it isn’t normally that big, I just happened to go during Holy Week!) Another tip before you go is to dress appropriately: people were being turned away for wear- ing shorts and vests. But it is well worth the visit and you shouldn’t leave Rome without visiting Vati- can City. Again, the price of food does de- pend on where you go. Obviously, next to the tourist attractions, a meal can break your bank balance. Go a bit further afield and it won’t. Sometimes the best food can be found when you take the road less travelled. One day we got really lost and found an ice-cream shop down a backstreet by accident and the ice cream was half the price of the ice cream near the tourist at- tractions: it also turned out to be really good. So it can be better to look a bit further. All in all, I had a brilliant time in Rome and I will definitely be go- ing back to Italy because the food, the history and the culture was just amazing. I would recommend Rome and Italy to all students, I can’t wait to go back! Roamin’ the streets of Rome Rachel Clark shares her ideas on what you can do in Rome on a student budget Are we living in a society obsessed with perfection? Grace Balfour-Harle considers some of the harms from sharing photos on social media Photo/ Rachel Clark

16 13 May 2014 www.thegaudie.co.uk The Gaudie Life & Style A Letter to me in First Year Dear Me, Welcome to Aberdeen! In these next five years more things are going to happen than you can ever imagine, and your life is going to change so much, but don’t worry, you’re going to have an amazing time (in between the stress and tears). You’re going to learn to love the way the sun sparkles on the granite when it’s sunny (not that you’ll see it that often). The sea gulls, how- ever, will never grow on you, although they do grow bigger and bigger every year: hold on to your sandwiches! Don’t be too scared to go to all those fresher’s week events on your own: everyone will be really welcoming and friendly, and it’s probably a good idea to make some friends other than the people you live with. About your flatmates, some of them are going to be messier than you, some of them are going to be neat freaks, just roll with it, and maybe chill out about the cleaning rota. Also, don’t worry about the flat politics and trying to impress the cool ones. In five years’ time you’re going to bump into them in town and feel amazing that you’ve come on far enough to be feeling great about yourself and not to care what they think of you. Don’t care what they think about you now, hang out with the people who make you laugh and feel good about yourself. It’ll surprise you when people are really there for you when you need them, I would invest more time in them now. Trust your first instincts about people too. It’s true everyone deserves a second chance, but sometimes your instincts are right, and you shouldn’t put up with people messing you around, some one better will come along. Philosophy?! Really?! What were you thinking?! Listen to your adviser, they know what they are talking about. You rock at English, and you hate philosophy. Trying new things is all well and good but maybe save that for the so- cieties, and stick to a degree that you are going to enjoy (nothing against the philosophy department who are all lovely, it’s just not for you). It might also be a good idea to pay attention in some of those French grammar class- es, I know you hate them, and it’s real- ly boring, but it might be worth invest- ing a little bit of time so that by fourth year you know what a preceding direct object pronoun is and how to make sure it agrees. But get excited for your year in France, that’s going to be a fantastic year and you’re going to have so much fun (although it wouldn’t hurt to take a grammar book over because you can’t trust everything the French people say… they have no idea how to speak their own language correctly!) So overall, hold on to your hat, get ready, and don’t be scared to let go (although well done for sticking to your morals and never taking that boy from the laundry room home). Just remember you’re only going to be a student once, so make the most of each and every opportunity and you will come out alright at the other end. Enjoy, I’d almost come back and do it all again (if I didn’t hate writing essays)! Good Luck, love from You (almost graduated!) Clare Blanchard Farewell, Aberdeen Surf Club An extended version of this speech was read at the surf club end of year meal. Dear surfers, For many of us here, this is will be the last time with the Aberdeen University Surf Club. The journey for us has been a long one but time has flown by incredibly quickly. Seems it was very recently I joined in, like many others did: never having surfed before, and hardly believing people were stupid enough to try it over here. Yet, with some peer pressure from an old friend, and meeting great new people while getting into it, the club just stuck to me and I found myself spending a great part of my free time with this group. Although we have seen many people come and go, we have a collection of brilliant memories to look back to. Nothing makes me happier than seeing such a cohesive group of different individuals, from different disciplines, nations, generations, and other backgrounds. We are a solid union of athletes who have each other’s backs for good times and bad and are proud to call ourselves members of this team. I can think of nothing which characterizes this better for me than last March’s student election when I ran for Sports President. I felt that, since I have had such a great time being a part of University Sports for these past years, I should make an effort to give something back to the entire organisation. Ultimately this didn’t work out but with all of you at my back the end result felt like a flawless victory. From the very beginning, many of you came out offering help for all the tasks AUSA campaigning is infamous for. Throughout the build-up and the final three days of the elections, I felt so touched seeing all of you showing your support and putting yourselves on the line for my cause. Many more of you helped out with handing out campaigning material, putting it up for me, heck- ling people on Facebook, in person, and in class to vote. Even for those of you who stopped by to say hi in the blistering wind when I was down and out from trying to keep up appearances for the electorate, you all made me feel so good, and assured me that the campaign was worth every second of it. I’ve said this many times already but I cannot thank you enough for the support you showed me. I’m truly blessed to know every single one of you and to be able to call you my best friends. Leaving Scotland, Aberdeen, the University and the club is going to be a tough one but I can take solace in knowing that many of you will still be here and continue doing all the awesome stuff that I have had the chance to be a part of these past years. Our new committee is one of the greatest ones I’ve seen for this club. All of you are dedicated hard workers who not only know what needs to be done to keep the wheels turning but how to get it done creatively, engagingly, while enjoying the process for yourselves. The surf club is by no means an automated institution that runs itself regardless of who’s pulling the strings. We have shown this by going off to Portugal last Easter and coming up with so many other great new things to get more people involved. Yet, by far the best part is that we welcome anybody and everybody. Just as long as you are up for a good time, you always have a place at the club table on a Wednesday night social. We’ve come together to practice a long-term hobby, a new interest, occasional indulgence, or a once in a lifetime dip into the sea that claimed Vikings by the shipload. Our strength as a club and a community comes from the unprejudiced attitude towards everyone who wants to give it a try. For the new committee and old members who are returning in September, I want to leave you off with this reminder. Keep up the great team spirit and keep including everyone. Keep showing people that the sea is not that cold when you have friends in there to warm you up. Keep teaching people to ride the big one on and off the tides. Keep driving down to Newquay to show the other teams that you need to do more than make a mess in a hostel common room to have a good time together. Keep all of our traditions going and keep producing new ones. And, most importantly, keep me in the loop with what you guys are doing. I am terrible at staying in touch with people but I will take any chance to see you people again. Wherever I will end up from here, whatever elections I decide to run in, whether or not I actually pick up a surf board again, I will always remember my time with you and cherish these years as some of the best ones of my life. Thank you. Arttu Närhi Letters from this year’s graduates “ Just remember you’re only a student once, so make the most of each and every opportunity and you will coem out alright at the other end.” “ Leaving Scotland, Aberdeen, the University and the club is going to be a tough one, but I can take solace in knowing that many of you will still be here and continue doing all the awesome stuff that I have had the chance to be a part of these past years.”

13 May 2014 The Gaudie 17 www.thegaudie.co.uk Life & Style Dear student, So, I have come to the end of my four years at the University of Aberdeen. In July I will receive my degree in Politics and International relations but surely I am walking away with so much more? Surely I have picked up some ‘graduate skills’ along the way? There is no doubt that the most invaluable skill I have learned at University can be best summed up as ‘doing well by doing just enough’. An important lesson that students cannot miss during their time at University. So here it is, Politics and International relations students: my five top-tips to do the least but get the most out of your degree. 1) How to treat First and Second year: remember, grades don’t mean anything. So, what should that mean to you? Relax. Whether you receive a 9 or a 20 it doesn’t matter too much. Use these years to study not in the library but the fine art of socialising, preferably in the pubs of Aberdeen. The library is only a place for honours students: know this. 2) How to tackle exams: you have just gone through 11 weeks of lectures (which you didn’t need to go to because they are all on MyAberdeen). You will write three essays in an exam, that means only three of the weeks will be needed for the exam. So, disregard the majority of notes (which, again, you didn’t need to make) and focus on 3 or 4 of those weeks. Folks, don’t worry! Its always the same questions anyway. 3) How to tackle essays: First and foremost, make sure you and your friends have different topics! Why? Simple. You want to swap essays before the exam. That means you have sample essays on those 3 or 4 prepared topics for the exam and therefore no need for making notes! Sounds good, right? Also, all this business of reading hundreds of sources? Pfft. Use the quotes from a textbook and write your essay. If you need to, beef up your bibliography by finding sources that match what you have said. Easy. 4) The trick to tutorials: tutorials you need to go to, unlike lectures. Top tip, answer the first question in class. Its always the easiest (and doesn’t reflect the reading you didn’t do) and you have therefore shown participation and won’t be picked on for the harder questions. Also, be sure to make friends with the ‘smart kids’. You are going to have to do group work, smarter the group the better your grade. 5) How to manage your timetable: those blasted social science degrees and their several hours of class a week...ahh! Yeah, that’s right you have next to no classes and everyone envies you for it. But, how can you make it better? Make sure you put all your tutorials on the same day. Who doesn’t like a 6 day weekend? 9-5 working days are not for you. There we have it, my top five tips on ‘doing well by doing just enough’, the gateway to a better University experience. I will finish with a final ‘serious’ point (since the teaching staff will hate all of what I have said). The most important lesson you can learn is to make the most of every opportunity! You will get a graduate job not just because of a good classification but because you took internships, volunteered or simply tried new experiences such as travelling or learning a new language. Ok, sorry...I know that sounds like the careers service talking! That’s it from me, good luck and enjoy University! David Dear student, So I am at the end of four years of my enlightening and study filled university career and I am thinking, whether it all worth it, especially as my younger sister is venturing off to university and I am left imparting my wisdom unto her. To begin on this existential crisis creating thought exercise I will focus on the academic side. I learned a lot in lectures (well the ones I turned up to) and tutorials (well more bullshitting in them) and in the weekly readings (was I supposed to do them?). If I am going to be honest the academic side of university is a minor part of the university experience, or at least it was a minor part in my case. I favoured living life to the full, i.e. doing what ever I wanted whether that was watching the entire 11 seasons of M.A.S.H in my second semester of second year or going out with friends regardless of deadlines. University is a time to live life and learn from experiences, whether that be falling deeply and madly in love (I will attach a warning to that one) or drinking excessively to the point of committing epic How I Met Your Mother style escapades. The advice I am giving to my sister is that she should have fun in first year and not worry about work (well only when my parents aren’t listening). So was university worth it? In terms of a life experience, hell yes! In terms of benefits to my future it a mixed response. If I am honest I did not get my post-graduation job because of my degree I got it by working during summers in offices that had relevant to my future chosen career. In the end, University is a time to live to the fullest! Drink, be merry and do essays in caffeine fuelled hazes nothing beats it! Daniel O’Malley Dear Anonymous Resident of Hillhead, I don’t know how your Fresher’s week went, but by the end of mine I wanted to crawl back home and live forever under a cushion, never seeing the light of day again. But I didn’t. I forced myself to change- and what a change it has been. In the past four years of Uni, I have had six part-time jobs, been President of a big society and won Society of the Year for it, been involved in AUSA Welfare, got a degree I am proud of and most importantly made friends for life. I will be leaving the Granite City for my Master’s with a few tears but having had an amazing four years. That’s not because I’m some sort of special person. It’s because this is what University is for. Don’t just survive University- make the most of it. Here are my four rules: 1. Join a Society Definitely Rule No.1. Pick one. Go to a meeting. Chat to a couple of people. You will suddenly find that a couple turns into many, new friends that have the same interests as you that you will inevitably retain for life. I promise that it will be the most worthwhile thing you do outside of gaining your degree. (Thanks, P&IR.) 2. Don’t stress over deadlines (in first and second year). When I arrived at University, I ignored the advice of all of the honours students who told me that my work didn’t matter. I considered myself a “real student” who wanted to work hard and get really good grades. Consequently I stressed over grades that in reality didn’t count and in my final year when they do have partied so hard the bouncers at Exo, Institute and Garage know me by name. Get it out of your system when you can. 3. Find your niche. A huge part of being at Uni is about finding your fix. Don’t stick to the same group of people if you don’t like them that much, don’t spend every Friday in the Bobbin if it’s not your thing. Spend a day getting lost in the city, find a part-time job and visit the AUSA website to find a sports team or extra-curricular activity. Find something you really love to do, that is yours and no-one else’s. 4. Choose the right courses. At the end of the day, despite all of the above, you are here to gain the most important qualification of your life. So try other subjects and make sure the degree you are doing is one that you will be proud of having completed. It will make the hard work that bit easier. And don’t forget that one day there will come a time when you can no longer get up at 12pm after a night spent in Exo, order Domino’s and spend the entire day watching Netflix with your current significant other (whether that be a can of red bull or another human being). There will come a time when you have work to complete and it is not possible to complete it drunk, three hours before the deadline. There will come a time when at 9pm you just want to go to sleep. There is one time and one time only when you can do any of the above without having to deal with the consequences. Make the most of it- I promise it’s a pretty awesome feeling. Monique Bouffe Caught in the Act Frightened of an empty page Under pressure, stuck in the cage. Caught. Blocked. Mind? Blank. Knackered, my hope sank. Gradually letters make sense. Recovering from the expense All of my time was sacrificed, Nothing of me not comprised - To the Gaudie. By Maria Suessmilch & Dan Naylor, members of The Gaudie’s editorial team “ I will be leaving the Granite City for my Master’s with a few tears but having had an amazing four years. That’s not because I’m some sort of special person. It’s because this is what University is for.” “ You will get a graduate job not just because of a good classification but because you took internships, volunteered, or simply tried new experiences...” “ University is a time to life life and learn from expriences, whether that be falling in love (I will attach a warning to that one) or drinking excessively to the point of committing epic How I Met Your Mother style escapades.”

18 13 May 2014 Arts [email protected] The Gaudie Editor: Elizabeth Ozolins INTERVIEW Photo/ Mylo FB Account Myles ‘Mylo’ MacInnes; he’s a hard man to get hold of. Rumblings in the Big Beach Ball press room was that he’d be out of there in a hurry after his set. They weren’t half wrong. Barrelling past our backstage loiter like a bull to red, he was outside for a cigarette quicker that you could utter the words ‘any chance of an interv...’. We got him in the end though, and it was worth the wait. Slouched on a hastily decluttered back-room chair, there’s something very down-to-earth about Mylo, very accessible. Sure he’s an internationally celebrated producer and DJ whose debut album, ‘Destroy Rock & Roll’, garnered critical acclaim; and yes he’s played much larger events - Creamfields 2009 is a standout example. But he’s also got the air of a guy who’s just pleased to be back in the northern reaches of Scotland doing what he does best, making music. “Without laying it on too thick”, the DJ starts with a soft, resonant murmur, “I was really grateful to get an email out the blue saying ‘do you want to come to Aberdeen for this thing’ - thirty seconds later I’m replying ‘Yeah! I definitely do!’”. The exuberance appears affected, but only because he’s visibly drained after what can simply be described as a spectacular performance. I tell him as much; he thanks me modestly. ‘Destroy Rock & Roll’ is a decade old now, and, by his own confession, he has “not really been putting himself out there so much these days”. Old habits die hard though - Mylo’s one-time student raver mentality reared its reckless head on his most recent outing. Tour-bussing between Manchester and Edinburgh with a tranche of Nu-disco titans - Mighty Mouse, Alex Metric, Yuksek - earlier this year, “I did something I haven’t done for years,” MacInnes tells with a pert smile, “I slept walked and managed to rip the toilet door off its hinges. I was totally oblivious to the whole thing. The next day the driver was like, ‘you’ve tore my door off its hinges!’... I don’t think he was too happy”. It’s a funny story delivered with the expressive ease of a raconteur grandfather. There’s also a definite implication that such temerarious acts were once more common place - this is a man who’s toured the world from St Petersburg to Japan, and partied plenty in between. Simmering beneath the boisterous veneer is a fierce intelligence. With spells at Edinburgh University then Oxford, not to mention a Masters at the University of California, Los Angeles, MacInnes is a bona fide academic. Curiously, it was upon brick laying in Australia that his heart was set after completing high school - alas he was too young to obtain a visa. It wasn’t until his early twenties - having avoided lengthy exposure to loud music on doctor’s orders following a viral infection - that Mylo’s eyes, and ears, were opened to the electronic genre. “I just got an iMac in the early 2000s and started playing around with music software like Pro Tools,” he recalls with a brain-wracking scratch of the head as if to manually dislodge the memory. “I was really into The Avalanches’ album, it had a sample collage sort of feel - that was a huge inspiration for me to get into electronic music.” Headlining the Big Beach Ball - and packing out its largest stage no less - is something the DJ is very modest about. He’s more of a family man than megastar these days, spending much of the day with his toddler who, while not necessarily an aficionado of the electronic genre quite yet, “is into Scooter; he likes to nod his head to the beat”. Coming back to his musical hiatus, Mylo’s face sterns momentarily, oscillating to an altogether more somber tone as he cryptically laments that “business issues kept me out of the game for a while”. Our conversation turns to the Granite City. “There’s a big connection between the Isle of Skye, where I grew up, and Aberdeen. My dad actually proposed to my mum somewhere on the beach up here,” he shares, quickly reassuring “this isn’t a conception story though, don’t worry - I’m not quite back to where it all started!” Again the DJ’s sincerity emerges as we discuss the closure of Snafu, once the epicentre of the North East’s electronic scene - “It’s very sad for everyone involved, particularly the folk who lost their jobs and the guys who put so much into it over the years”. All is not lost for Aberdeen though. With the future of Rockness seemingly hanging in the balance (though he makes clear that he has no insider information on that one), Mylo wonders whether the Big Beach Ball itself could grow to become the North East’s foremost music festival. “In its third year, everyone speaks really well of the festival. I feel it’s growing at a sustainable level which is good - there’s always a danger with these events that they will go too big too quickly.” Digressing from music for a moment, we probe the more pertinent issues at hand - it’s May 4th, International Star Wars Day: which would he rather be, Jedi or Sith? For such an inane question his initial remark is unexpected to say the least: “I’ve actually been thinking a lot about this recently...”. He progresses to give the most comprehensive response of the day, noting that, “with another couple movies on the horizon I definitely think they should end Episode IX with the Jedis winning and the Empire’s destruction, then have the good guys immediately implement some sort of JediSharia law and decapitate Princess Leia and be like ‘oh, we’ve been rooting for the bad guys all along’”. “So,” he concludes, “I’d probably be a renegade Jedi, a rebel against the rebels.” We’re stunned. That was brilliant. Shifting back to his origins, what advice can he give to students trying to break into the music production game? “I think I was really lucky to be one of the first of a generation where you could make everything quite cheaply in your own bedroom, you just needed some ideas.” Indeed, the emergence of the so called ‘bedroom producer’ has been aided unfathomably by the growing ubiquity and affordability of the required technology. For Mylo, “this is a great leveller, making the industry dead democratic.” “For those in the game, or trying to get back into it, it’s actually really daunting as there’s millions of kids around the world making music. It’s a very level playing field, nobody really cares where you came from or whether the music was made in a bedroom or a fancy studio. Success is based on the results, it’s incredible really. It’s like being a novelist - anyone can afford a pen and paper or a word processor.” What does the future hold for a man once at the very forefront of his genre? “The next step for me is to try and find a way to get back out there.” He’s admirably bereft of any hubris, but curiously lacking in conviction. Maybe the growth of competition from those kids with computers in recent years is playing on his mind? Well, if a come-back is on the cards for Mylo one thing is for sure: the electronic scene will regain a much needed touch of humility. Return of the Mylo Electronic phenomenon turned family man...and back again? Alasdair Lane talks Big Beach Ball, sleep-walking, comebacks and Star Wars with DJ’ing legend Mylo “I think I was really lucky to be one of the first of a generation where you could make everything quite cheaply in your own bedroom, you just needed some ideas.” “It wasn’t until his early twenties - having avoided lengthy exposure to loud music on doctor’s orders following a viral infection - that Mylo’s eyes and ears were opened to the electronic genre.”

13 May 2014 19 www.thegaudie.co.uk The Gaudie Arts Alan Henderson discusses his personal highlights from Aberdeen’s highly anticipated music festival The third annual Big Beach Ball, set in and around Ab- erdeen’s beautiful Beach Ballroom, could only be described as a success. It packed plenty into a whole day of musical goodness, for 10 hours across 6 stages. The local bands proved their mettle, the touring bands showed why they’re in such high demand, and the plethora of world class DJs al- lowed some people to dance con- tinuously all day, without stop- ping for a breather once. Even the rain couldn’t dampen their spirits (sorry). Electro-pop Peterheeders Indianredlopez opened the main indoor stage, showcasing some cuts from their new album, which came out in March. Their genre’s been pushed into the mainstream recently with the success of the likes of Chvrches, but these dudes have been among the country’s most proficient electronic bands for years. We knew their wides- creen atmospherics worked brilliantly late at night in packed, cavernous venues. Here, they proved they’re ready to take on bigger stages. Equally adept at inducing euphoria and introspection, it was as mesmerising an opening to a festival as you’re likely to see. Glasgow’s OK Social Club followed, bringing their clean indie riffs to Aberdeen. It’s easy to see why they won the Scottish Alternative Music Award for Best Live Band last year. The choruses don’t stray from the indie-pop template, leaving them all sounding a little similar, but for anyone not into raving early on Sunday afternoons they were a great alternative. Audience anticipation really picked up for Kilmarnock’s Fatherson. They’ve played all Aberdeen’s smaller venues loads of times since forming a few years ago, but this was their first show here since the release of their debut album in early April. Since then, they’ve received pretty extensive coverage from the likes of Rocksound and Kerrang, as well as being played by all the big presenters at Radio 1. Long touted as Scot- land’s next big band, it looks like that hype might be justified. Their 45 minute set mostly consisted of album tracks, including the standout I Like Not Knowing and Lights. Album closer and self-described ‘slower one’ Foreign Waters was a nice surprise too. The guys pushed through a couple of technical problems, powering through their massive choruses in style. It takes a massive voice to do justice to the ambition of the songs, and Ross Leighton’s proved himself as possibly the best vocalist around. Johnny Lynch, who goes by the stage name The Pictish Trail, runs one of Scotland’s best record labels off of a wee caravan on the Isle of Eigg. It’s called Lost Map Records, and it’s amazing. Home to the likes of Kid Canaveral, Randolph’s Leap and new signings Tuff Love, how Lynch finds time to record and perform under his own moniker I have no idea. His last couple of al- bums are part of his Secret Soundz series, and are wondrous collec- tions of weird, electro-folk-pop type stuff. For the Ball though, he stripped things back to just a guitar and his dulcet tones. It was oddly lovely, just hearing the bare bones of the songs. Sentimental and emotional without being gushy, the whole thing was kind of sweet. He should also be commended for dealing with the thumping bass that rattled the floor from below. Malcolm Middleton seemed a little less accepting of the deepness of the house music that bled through to the wee acoustic stage. Generally, he channeled any annoyance into his passionate delivery. With one of the day’s most rousing and popular sets, he showed why Arab Strap’s and his solo output was so enthusiastically received. Local heroes Forest Fires have had a great few months, helped by headlining one of the stages at this year’s Big Beach Ball. Having been really busy playing live since last September, they’re an awfully well-oiled machine. Songs from December’s Animatronics EP are truly embed- ded into their repertoire now, and they’ve already started bringing in yet more new songs. ‘Trial and Er- ror’ and ‘Turn Around Sally’ will always be huge anthems. ‘It’s Only Life’ is perfect. ‘Foreverlution’ is pure energy, with the band looking like they’re having the time of their lives playing it. They’ve described themselves as having the prob- lem that they don’t really stick to one style, but it can only be a good thing that every song does some- thing quite different from the rest while remaining totally accessible. While non-ravers might have been a bit sceptical about the merits of what is essentially a dance festival with some alternative bands on the bill, it can only be a good thing when different parts of the local musical landscape come together. Admittedly, the practicalities of having delicate acoustic ditties di- rectly above thumping house music could be called into question. Also, for anyone going to sample some of Aberdeen’s - and the country’s - best rock bands, it might have been a bit irritating to find ASR favourites Marionettes and Forest Fires clashing with other ASR favourites Fatherson and The Little Kicks respectively. Overall though, the event was thoroughly enjoyable and generally well organised for only being in its third year of existence. Big Beach Ball 2014 Photo/ Big Beach Ball The Scarlet Letter by Nathanial Hawthorne To call the character of Hester Prynne a feminist figure would be something of an inexactitude. What author of The Scarlet Letter, Nathanial Hawthorne, who passed away 150 years ago, did achieve in his creation of Hester was a depiction of a woman truly at odds with the society of her time. Having been found guilty of the crime of adultery, she is judged harshly by the puritanical society to which she belongs and is condemned to wear an embroidered scarlet ‘A’ for the rest of her life as a reminder to all of her sin. However, as much as this premise may suggest The Scarlet Letter is some cautionary morality tale directed at women, the discourse Hawthorne delivers is far more complex. With that said, while the novel definitely takes a liberal approach to gender dynamics (particularly considering the time of its publication in 1850), it cannot be described as feminist in the themes it explores. The trouble with the text lies in the fact that Hester is undeniably and unjustly victimised, and yet the text implies that she is morally obliged to accept her position. For this reason, reinterpreting The Scarlet Letter is a task riddled with pitfalls. What can be said of Hester is that she is certainly an admirable character whose intricacy is certainly the texts strongest feature. The reader is compelled to sympathise with her from the moment she must take to the scaffold, displaying her shame as a spectacle to the townsfolk. From this moment on, our respect for her only builds as she continues to strive on in the face of the prejudices piled against her. Left alone to raise her child, Hester, instead of fleeing, continues to ‘haunt, ghost-like’ the scene of her supposed crimes, rooted in place by her guilt and segregated from society. She devotes herself to a life of few pleasures and charitable endeavours in penance, eventually re-establishing herself within the society that ostracised her. This iron resolution is her most admirable quality, and shows not only through her willingness to wear the scarlet letter, but also for her devotion to hiding the identity of the father of her child, thereby protecting him at great cost to herself. While her lover, the minister Dimmesdale, is certainly as much at fault as she, Hester is possessed with a remarkable sympathy for others that prevents her from condemning any to a fate at all similar to her own. By the novel’s end, Hawthorne notes that: ‘the scarlet letter ceased to be a stigma which attracted the world’s scorn and bitterness, and became a type of something to be sorrowed over, and looked upon with awe, and yet with reverence too’. Hester is not simply redeemed by her actions and strong moral character: she becomes a martyr of sorts who survives the injustices levelled upon her by a damning society; a symbol for the cause of women until the day where the relations of men and woman are founded on ‘a surer ground of mutual happiness’. To this end, The Scarlet Letter can be interpreted as a tale of redemption; of a women’s trial by fire from which she emerges fortified against and enlightened to the injustices society can inflict upon women. By Andrew Parker

20 13 May 2014 www.thegaudie.co.uk The Gaudie Arts Top 5 Scottish Music Festivals Top 5 1Eden Festival – An alternative festival tucked away in the woods of Dumfries and Galloway, this festival is for those of you who want to embrace a unique festival experience without embracing the lager wielding sixteen year olds of larger festivals. Eden Festival is a combination of music, decoration and arts, burlesque and cabaret, all in an eco-friendly environment. 2The Wickerman Festival – An eclectic festival held in July, Wickerman boasts an eclectic line up often likened to Glastonbury. Named after the British horror film of the same name, the festival closes with a ceremonial burning of a 30 foot effigy – what a finisher! 3 Solas Festival – A combination of music, poetry, art, politics, dance, philosophy, and literature, this festival is a three day celebration of culture which is not to be missed. With appearances from Alasdair Gray and Liz Lochhead this festival shouldn’t be missed by fans of Scottish literature. 4 Belladrum Tartan Heart Festival – This is an independent family-friendly festival which is celebrated for its more independent spirit and combination of local and international acts. Located in the highlands, this year’s line up includes Razorlight, Frightened Rabbit, and Billy Bragg. 5 T in the Park - With former headliners including Foo Fighters, Arctic Monkeys, and Muse, the pulling power of this festival is clear. Despite its reputation for bad behaviour, if you’re looking for big headliners at Scottish a festival, this is your best bet. Elizabeth Ozolins One can take a book anywhere but a good book can also take you anywhere. The summer is almost here and along with it some spare time to enjoy an interesting novel. Read about some literary tips for the upcoming months. Classics A shipwreck and years spent on an exotic isolated island. That is the timeless story of Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe. Readers are still fascinated by a man’s ability to survive on his own with a knife, some tobacco, and a pipe. Robert Byron in The Road to Oxiana heads for distant places in Asia. In his travel memoir the author engagingly describes his journey to Persia and Afghanistan. The universe and the depths of human soul, these are the destinations of The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. This small book narrated by an aviator lost in a desert is adored universally. One can read it over and over again and discover its new dimensions every single time. “Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road.” Jack Kerouac’s On the Road is an inspirational and popular work. The author’s record of his hectic trip across North America shows what it means to hit the road in a grand style. Hercule Poirot and his little grey cells trace the criminal who kills a man on a train. This is Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie, a classic of the detective genre that can be an enjoyable distraction on a long journey by train. Trip to ‘Paradise’ In The Beach by Alex Garland, young man Richard seeks experiences in South East Asia. He and other backpackers find a true paradise isolated from the busy world. But the reader may guess that something gets out of control... How to Escape from a Leper Colony may sound ponderous, but behind the title is an intriguing modern collection of stories and a novella. Tiphany Yanique’s narratives are enjoyable and the reader learns about the Caribbean culture and its issues. World of Fantasy and Sci-fi “A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have.” That is what The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy says. Written by Douglas Adams this book makes one smile and relax. Sooner or later, everyone should get to know Terry Pratchett’s Discworld, a disc carried on the back of four elephants that are carried by a giant turtle. Why not start with the first book of the author’s fantasy series, The Colour of Magic, where an incompetent magician Rincewind and naive tourist Twoflower meet all kinds of adventures. J. R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit has found a wide audience. The author’s imagination and art of storytelling remain admirable and the reader can expect a rich tale set in its own world inhabited by fantastic races and influenced by magic. Summer 2014: a reading list Petra Hanackova offers advice on finding quality literature to fill the summer months When I first heard of Bob Hoskins death I largely remembered him from his roles as Smee in Hook, Eddie in Who Framed Roger Rabbit and, much to my shame, as Ginger Spice’s disguise in Spice World. However, after hearing of his death I looked into his life and career and was shocked at just how much more there was to Bob Hoskins, in terms of both his work and his personal life. Hoskins was born in Sussex in 1942 after his mother was evacuat- ed there from London. However, he grew up in North London where he acquired his cockney accent which he opted to retain, rather than receive elocution lessons early in his career. Having left school at the age of 15 with one O–Level after strug- gling with dyslexia, Hoskins had a string of various jobs before falling into acting entirely by accident. He was handed a script by an amateur theatre group whilst waiting for a friend in a London bar in 1966. This chance encounter and the five resulting years he spent working in repertory theatre, where his many roles include fire-eating, mark the beginnings of Hoskins memorable career. Hoskins received his big break in 1978 through his role as Arthur Parker in the television show Pen- nies From Heaven, for which he was nominated for a BAFTA Award for Best Actor (although he later admitted that the role was very painful to play). The variety of television roles Hoskins played reflect- ed his diversity as an actor. In the span of his forty years in television, his roles included those in literary adaptations, such as Iago in Othello, historical drama, as Mussolini in Mussolini and I, comedic roles, in sit-coms like Frasier, children’s television work, such as a voice ac- tor in The Forgotten Toys, and tel- evision drama roles such as Paddy Gargan in The Street, for which he received an International Emmy Award for Best Actor. Hoskins also received many awards for his film career, most notably for his role as George in the award winning mystery drama Mona Lisa, for which he won a Cannes Film Festival award for Best Actor, among many other Best Actor awards. Brian De Palma originally intended Hoskins to play Al Capone in his remake of The Untouchables, until Robert De Niro became available. De Palma sent Hoskins a cheque for £20,000 as a consolation to which Hoskins replied, ‘if you’ve ever got any films you don’t want me in, son, you just give me a call’. This became a fa- vourite anecdote of Hoskins’. After starting his career in reper- tory theatre, Hoskins went on to work with the Royal Shakespeare Company for a season in 1976, and star as Alfred Doolittle in George Bernard Shaw’s Pygamalion in the West End. Hoskins portrayal of Nathan Detroit in Guys and Dolls with the National Theatre was described by The Guardian as ‘definitive’. Since his death, Dame Helen Mirren, who starred opposite Hoskins in Adrian Gall’s revival of The Duchess of Malfi, as well as in the film, The Long Good Friday, in the early eighties, paid tribute to him as, ‘a great actor and an even greater man’. Not only did Hoskins succeed in his acting career, he also expressed his artistic side by exploring his potential as a director in the films, The Raggedy Rawney and Rain- bow, both of which he also starred in. Hoskins was also a playwright, under the alias Robert Williams. As well as a talented performer, Hoskins was a philanthropist. At the age of twenty five, he volun- teered in kibbutz Zikim in Israel, in order to experience life there in a collective community follow- ing the Six Day War between Is- rael and neighbouring states of the United Arab Republic in 1967. Hoskins also launched his Holly- wood career in role of Alf Hunt in the 1976 BBC series, On The Move, about a furniture removal man who struggles to read and write. On The Move was a hugely popu- lar tea-time show aimed at helping and encouraging adults to over- come literacy problems. Hoskins supported the inclusive North London theatre group, Chickenshed which is open to every one of all backgrounds and abilities. He also contributed to their album commemorating the theatre’s 30th anniversary alongside fellow thespians Kenneth Branagh and Elaine Paige. Since his death, Hoskins has been commemorated not only for his incredible creative abilities but also for his lasting impact on adult literacy and community theatre. After retiring from acting in 2012, having been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, Bob Hoskins died peacefully of pneumonia on the 29th April in hospital, surrounded by his family. I was touched to see the number of Hoskins former co-stars, director and fellow actors who have paid tribute to him, praising both his talent and his caring, funny, and sensitive personality which I believe is a testa- ment to Hoskins as both an actor and a person. Obituary Bob Hoskins Louise Scott remembers the life of ‘a great actor and an even greater man’ Photo/ Wall Paperve

There are certain things you expect when you pick up a Santana album: you expect Hispanic style music, Spanish classical guitar with a healthy portion of electric guitar solos. If there’s one thing you most certainly don’t expect, it’s Pitbull. No, not the dog, the artist (the one that famously rhymed ‘kodak’ with ‘kodak’ for lack of a better rhyme) who is now collaborating with Carlos Santana, one of the most celebrated guitarists in history. This, presumably, is an effort to bring Santana into 2014 with the tenuous connection of Pitbull’s Latin-American heritage and occasional use of Spanish in is songs, but Santana are not the kind of band that need to be brought into 2014; and certainly not by Pitbull. The rest of the album is much less infuriating. It ranges from fully Spanish songs — both in their lyrics and they musical aspects, to songs which are more akin to Enrique Iglesias’ brand of Latin-pop. As expected the ‘classic Santana’ songs are energetic, beautifully crafted, and ignite in you a burning desire for enchiladas and nachos. The more pop-y tracks on the album, notably both Diego Torres tracks, are less inspiring, but nonetheless are redeemed by the ever present wailing guitar solos which proliferate the entire album. Across the piece then, Corazón is best described as inconsistent — it infuriates with Pitbull, tires with Torres but, for the most part, it makes you want to samba and sip tequila. Arts 13 May 2014 The Gaudie 21 www.thegaudie.co.uk In his career so far, Brian Eno has collaborated with names like U2, Robert Fripp, Genesis, David Bowie, and Coldplay, to name just a few. He is the man who is responsible for the sound of albums like Bowie’s ‘Heroes’ and U2’s ‘The Joshua Tree’. In other words - to suppose that Brian Eno is capable of creating bad music would be nothing short of ridiculous. Then again, to suppose that he is capable of always producing amazing music would be equally ridiculous, since, as we all know very well, Brian Eno is a human being. ‘Everyday World’ is the proof. Karl Hyde, of ‘Underworld’ fame, lends his vocals on every track, although he doesn’t bring anything of his signature style into the album, for better or worse. On the whole, ‘Everyday World’ sounds like a rehash of Eno’s previous works, but polished and ‘pop-ier’. An interesting, quickly done experiment between old friends - yes, but definitely not a complete and unified work. However, there are some songs that truly stand out among the enjoyable fillers, which most of the tracks are. The brooding ‘Mother of a Dog’ , for example, is an atmospheric and slowpaced throwback to Eno’s very early days as an ambient pioneer and is the perfect example of what every tune with Karl Hyde on vocals should sound like. ‘When I Built This World’ is the most experimental song on the record in terms of structure and delivery and as such, it perfectly demonstrates why Brian Eno is considered a legend in the field of electronic music. ‘Someday World’ might not be his best work, but it definitely is very far from the worst music you can hear today. Brian Eno & Karl Hyde Someday World ALBUM RELEASE: 5 MAY 2014 By Dimitar Grigorov Santana Corazón ALBUM RELEASE: 6 MAY 2014 By Michael Cameron Metrosexuality is a shared trait of many of the young male comedians on the comedy circuit today but none do it quite as well as Mr Russell Kane. Russell Brand’s know-it-all narcissism and lack of subtlety takes away from his comedic prowess whereas Jack Whitehall’s baby-faced idiocy is infantile and irritating. Kane seems to be a fit for all purposes middle ground in this congested field. His tour is entitled “Smallness” and this is clearly not a remark on his popularity as we take our seats in a seemingly sold out Music Hall full of local Aberdonians: a bunch of “repressed, hard drinking f**ks” in his words. A bonus to the evening was the support of the fine young comedian Steve Bugeja. His jokes on LAD culture and reference to his good friend “LADdington bear” are a scathing but accurate reflection on the young males of today and acts as an excellent warm up before the star of the show joined us. A self-proclaimed lover of “Liza Minelli and vag”, the camp figure of Russell Kane struts the stage like the love child of Mick Jagger and Louis Spence. The audience’s eyes are unflinchingly fixed on him, their eyes darting from side to side as if in attendance at a particularly comedic Wimbledon match. He immediately fires into a shaming of the citizens of Manchester, Glasgow, and Essex as well as Australians and Americans. A personal highlight would be his suggestion that the twang in the classic Mancunian’s accent was a result of swallowing electric guitars in their youth. Kane goes on to look at the British condition, contrasting it against our European neighbours. Have you ever considered the facial muscles required to say “Buenos dias” as oppose to “Hello”? Kane has and uses it as a symbol of the timid nature of our Britishness. In short, this is what “Smallness” refers to. He leaves us with a message and some useful advice: learn to appreciate. We should throw away our shy and reserved mannerisms in an attempt to appreciate the small things in life instead of worrying about them. A nice message to leave us with after an enjoyable show. As Kane takes his applause, the audience is in a daze, not sure whether what Kane has said has been truly funny or if simply watching the way he composes himself, darting around in front of us, has been the root of our laughter. There is a tendency in British comedy to float towards the offensive and cringe-enducing: the Boyle-sphere, but Kane floats around this, not diving in as so many others do. The perfect show for those of us who prefer our comedy pretty and unthreatening. Show By Ryan James Macready Russell Kane AT ABERDEEN MUSIC HALL DATE: 30 APRIL 2014 REVIEWS Music Arts News The shortlist for the prestigious Turner Prize has been announced. Organised by Tate Britain, the £25,000 art prize will be competed for by James Richards, Duncan Campbell, Ciara Phillips, and Tris Vonna-Michell, the latter three of which studied at Glasgow School of Art. BT, Sky, TalkTalk and Virgin Media have made an agreement with the entertainment industry, stating that they will send ‘educational letters’ to those in infringement of copyright. Entertainment bodies will monitor file-sharing networks and send the IP addresses of downloaders to the internet bodies. Metallica will headline this year’s Glastonbury festival. With rumours that Kate Bush, Oasis and The Strokes would top the bill, fans and ticket holders alike are debating whether the metal band can deliver at the UK’s biggest festival. An unnamed British male has accused X-men director Bryan Singer of sexual assault. The incident is alleged to have taken place at an after party for Superman Returns in 2006. The claims have been vehemently denied by the director. Star Wars: Episode VII will see the return of Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford while welcoming new faces such as Oscar Isaac, John Boyega and Daisy Ridley. JK Rowling is in talks with writers and producers to bring Harry Porter to the stage. Warner Brothers have stated that ‘it’s a play, not a musical’ and the story will cover the early years of the wizard before his time at Hogwarts. Chris Brown has been ordered to spend another 103 days in prison after admitting in court to a violation of his probation. The singer was arrested in October 2013 for allegedly assaulting a man in Washington DC, which led to prosecutors bringing the case before a judge. By Elizabeth Ozolins Film Bad Neighbours is a meeting of two very different acting schools. Zac Efron is the Disney Heartthrob star of High School Musical and 17 Again, whereas Seth Rogen is the chubby, speccy stoner from Pineapple Express and Knocked Up. A strange cocktail of humour and handsomeness ensues. All of us with owned or rented property know how difficult it is to live next to people. Noise complaints, as students, can be as good as a weekly occurrence and Bad Neighbours taps into this all too common conflict and takes it to amusing extremes. Restless thirtysomethings Mac (Rogen) and Kelly (Rose Byrne) are still getting to grips with becoming parents when the Delta Psi fraternity move in next door, run by Fraternity President Teddy (Efron). A few parties later, the couple realise how old they really are and grow sick of their neighbours’ antics. As the film develops, it falls into debauchery and low-brow laughs exemplified by Efron’s lack of comedic timing and expression. Rogen, on the other end of this film is as natural as usual, a stoner finding himself in yet another ridiculous situation – a turf war with a fraternity. It would be great if there was more to the movie than this one shallow storyline but unfortunately that is our lot. Having said that, the funny moments are gut-wretchingly funny. The fight between Mac and Teddy, for example, is pure lunacy and Kelly’s attempts to appear aloof and cool instead of aging and insecure is a consistent source of hilarity. However, if a film throws hundreds of jokes at you instead of any decent storyline, the law of probability dictates that you will laugh a few times. Unfortunately, the lack of interesting characters means that this film will never be anything other than a damp squib of a comedy. There is only so many times you can watch Seth Rogen being himself and find it funny and I make no apologies for failing to find Zac Efron strutting about with his top off for the majority of the film anything other than a pathetic pander to pre-pubescent girls. The best word I could use to describe this film would be lazy. By Ryan James Macready Bad Neighbours STARRING: SETH ROGAN, ZACH EFRON, DAVE FRANCO “To suppose that Brian Eno is capable of creating bad music would be nothing short of ridiculous.”

22 13 May 2014 Listings [email protected] The Gaudie Editor: Josiah Bircham Theatre The Adventures of Alvin Sputnik: Deep Sea Explorer The Lemon Tree Sunday 18 May 14.00 £8.25 inc. b.f. I put this in Theatre because to put it anywhere else I would have to create a totally new category and that would be silly. Therefore, come along to the thing that is Alvin Sputnik, an unholy fusion of animation, puppetry, projections and music which tells the tale of Alvin who quietly searches for his lost love in the seemingly endless depths of the ocean. Weird eh? Apparently it’s charmed audiences worldwide and received countless five-star reviews and awards though. The Australian (I don’t know whether that’s a publication or just a man from Australia) said the show was “absorbing, touching and uplifting”, so that’s something. Comedy Music Shooglenifty The Lemon Tree Thursday 22 May 20.00 Entry: £16.50 inc. b.f. I found out recently that I had some Shooglenifty on my computer when iTunes was on shuffle and a track came on which sounded like the soundtrack for a documentary about Hebridean life. I then put the song on my jogging playlist, which says something about its tempo. Actually, that doesn’t say that much about the tempo. They describe themselves as ‘acid-croft’, a blend of traditional music and dance grooves. Acid Croft is also the name of my illicit highland retreat. Their performances are always energetic and enjoyable so this genuinely is a band that I would highly recommend going to see. Swans The Lemon Tree Sunday May 25 20.00 Entry: £19.80 inc. b.f. Come along and support Aberdeen University’s Symphony Orchestra as they perform Britten’s Soirees Musicales op.9, Shostakovich’s Cello Concerto No.1 op.107 and Britten’s Sinfonia da requiem op.20. Conducted by Christopher Gray with Mark Bailey on the Cello it’s sure to be an impressive concert of modern and exciting music. Lily Allan Music Hall Friday 23 May 19.00 Entry: £33.00 inc. b.f. If you haven’t heard of Lily Allan, you’ve been stuck in a box for the quite some time. If you’ve been stuck in a box for quite some timehello! I hope you enjoy no longer being stuck in a box. Anyway, Lily Allan- she sings in a London-ey accent and has sold manymany records worldwide: fifteen million according to Google. For the sake of the boxed people- her songs are catchy, melodic and usually fun. This is also the first time she’s been in Aberdeen to perform since her break from music in 2010. In fact, it may be the first time she’s been in Aberdeen at all since her last British tour- I don’t know, and I can’t be bothered looking. The View (Unplugged) The Lemon Tree Wednesday 4 June 20.00 Entry: £18.50 inc. b.f. Come and admire the lovely view. Much like my toaster, they’re unplugged at the moment to conserve energy- so they’ll probably be playing instruments like the guitar, drums or oboe. They won’t be playing the oboethat was a joke. You know The View - they have some famous songs and come from Dundee! According to the online description of their show one of their selling points is ‘unexpected crescendos’. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t know if that’s a particularly good thing. Anyway, if you like being momentarily shocked by increase in volume and never change trousers- this is on. Hop Planting The Student Wildlife Garden Wednesday 14 May 14.00-16.00 Free If you missed the two recent permaculture projects then it would be a crime to miss the third! Especially when it’s ‘Hop Planting’. “What does ‘Hop Planting’ involve?” you ask. Well, ‘Hop Planting’ unsurprisingly involves the planting of hops for, in this case, your own enjoyment. Personally, I hop everyone who has a free afternoon turns up. The student wildlife garden is a hop, skip and a jump away from Butchart (you can ask reception for directions if you can’t find it- if you still can’t find it, go back and ask again). Everyone is welcome and no experience is necessary. Green Gathering Old Library, Crombie Halls Thursday 15 May 17.30-19.30 Free Picnic! Free stuff! Bicycle powered smoothie maker! Fun! Experience all these exclamations and more at the Green Gathering! As well as these, there will be a screening of the film Garbage Dreams, a 79 minute documentary with a 7.5 rating on IMDB. If you haven’t already seen the film, have seen the film and wouldn’t mind seeing it again or haven’t seen a film ever before it would be worth coming to see this film at the Green Gathering. Events Centre Stage May Ball 2014 The Caledonian Hotel Friday 16 May 19.30-2.00 Members: £35, Non-members: £40, Dance only: £10 I’ve listed a lot of Balls over the past year and, to be perfectly honest, the description tends to be very similar. If you still haven’t picked up what a Ball will probably entail, or just plain haven’t bothered reading listings (unforgivable) I’ll tell you what will be happening at this one. There will be a three-course meal, undoubtedly delicious. There will also be a ceilidh band, very possibly playing music (it doesn’t say that they will, but we can safely assume). There will also be awards given out (this doesn’t always happen I suppose), in fact, it will be Centre Stage’s annual Golden Pebble awards! Come dressed appropriately for a Ball, or don’t, see if I care. An Evening with George Galloway: Just Say Naw HMT Monday 19 May 19.30 £13.20 As the independence referendum draws ever closer, George Galloway will be passionately putting his case forward for Scotland to remain part of the United Kingdom. George will be speaking on a range of issues affecting the people of Scotland and dismissing the grudge politics of the Scottish nationalists. If you haven’t heard of him before, George is known for Celebrity Big Brother, politics, that oil-barrel-Amerciansenate-shouty-thingy and being quite a socialist. He actually spends most of his time running a party, so you already know he’s a fun guy! The Lost Cinemas of Union Street Outside Nuffield Health Club, Justice Mill Lane Thursday 22 May- Thursday 26 June 19.30 £10.00 This tour could be an Indiana Jones sequel as it has all the right elements. Something lost to be discovered? – check. Adventure and intrigue around every corner? – check. Harrison Ford? – check. Disclaimer: Harrison Ford will not be there, obviously. Apparently Aberdeen used to have 35 cinemas. Now it has four. This tour will tell you that in a more active, specific and cough overpriced cough way. Dial M for Murder HMT Tuesday 27 May- Saturday 31 May 19:30 and matinee 14.00 £19.00- £26.50 Despite the glaring issue that phones don’t have an M button this story by Frederick Knott has been successful, even being made into a film by Alfred Hitchcock. Now, it’s a play! Well- it’s been a play for a while, but now that play is coming on tour to Aberdeen! It stars Christopher Timothy from All Creatures Great and Small, which I haven’t seen- but apparently he’s in. All irrelevance aside, the play will be good and dark and thrilling and stuff so you should really come and see it if you have between nineteen and twenty-six pound fifty to spare. The Trickery NOX Sunday 1 June 19:30 £11.00 inc. b.f. The Trickery is really a blend. Not a blend in the ‘smoothie sense’ of blitzed fruit but more in the sense of lots of different types of things together. This particular show will have artistic performance, magic and choreography. You’ll see Alan Rorrison who has been a performer and creator in magic for just under 20 years. He was on Penn and Tellers ‘Fool Us’ where he managed to dupe Penn Jillette with his own take on a classic magic effect. You’ll also see Elliot Bibby who has performed magic at numerous venues across the UK. Furthermore you can see Crystina whose graceful, delicate movement is offset by the predominantly macabre themes of her acts creating a jarring contrast that will completely draw you in and leave your jaw on the floor. Breakneck Comedy The Blue Lamp Sunday 17 May 20.00 £11.00 inc. b.f. This time at Breakneck Comedy it’s Toju plus Guests! In their description of the show, Breakneck gave me literally nothing to work with so instead I’m going to write some generic comedy show sentences.. Come and see this show! The quick wit of the featured comedians will possibly keep you laughing from beginning to end! The stand up will potentially cover a wide variety of topics: family troubles to religion. Jimmy Carr Music Hall Sunday 8 June 19:00 £28.60 Hey, it’s Jimmy Carr! He comes on tour a lot. If you like one liners and reasonably offensive content this will probably be the comedy gig of the year. If you don’t like those things, I wouldn’t pay almost thirty pounds for it, why, that could buy you twenty-eight items from Poundland with sixty pence to spare. I saw Jimmy Carr a few a few years ago and he was pretty funny, so I would genuinely recommend the show if you can afford it.

13 May 2014 The Gaudie 23 www.thegaudie.co.uk Archery Aberdeen University Archery club headed down to Edinburgh earlier this month for the SSS outdoor competition. The team got up early and made their way to Peffermill, set up thier bows and hoped that the rain would stay away. Aberdeen made it very clear that they were there to win, scoring highly from the onset. Arrow after arrow, the high scores kept coming. Women’s recurve team brought home all of the medals. Rebekah Tipping claimed Gold, Véronique Heijnbroek Silver, and Amy Victoria Bode Bronze. Morag Douglas won Silver in the barebow category, Jordan Wilson Bronze in the novice male category and Emily Blake Silver in compound. This meant that Aberdeen senior team won the competition overall and the novice team got bronze. Medal placing did not stop there as Simon Garrett placed second in the headto-head the next day in a nail biting final, winning the silver medal. Emily Blake placed first in the headto-head compound category to bring back yet another Gold medal. Thus meaning that Aberdeen came home with a triumphant total of 16 medals and two trophies. Superteams Last week saw the return of Ab- erdeen University Sports Union’s biggest event, Superteams. This year, the Sports Union Commit- tee encouraged each team’s out- fits to be as brightly coloured and skin tight as possible to match the day’s ‘Tight and Bright’ theme. Each team comprised of 7 people, including one Superman and one Superwoman and at least 3 girls per team. Superteams 2014 saw a day full of ridiculous competitions with old favourites such as sumo-suits and assault courses and some new events such as the eliminator. The official After Party was at Institute, where the winners of Superteams 2014 were announced: TOP 3 SUPERTEAMS 1. Just Farah Laugh (1217 points), 2. Fight in Tights (1178), 3. Sweaty Chuff & oot o’ puff (1171) #1 SUPERMAN Tropical Squash (285 points) #1 SUPERWOMAN It’s all about the Length (263 points) BEST DRESSED Show Us Your Seamen BEST TEAM NAME Athletics Just Farah Laugh & Athletics “Jess Ennis To Win It!” Sport President, Marc McCorkell, was delighted with how the day panned out: “it was a really successful day with almost 48 teams taking part throughout the day”. In other news... Sport With over 120 members signing up in September, it was clear that AUWLC was going to have a prosperous year. The first team have had one of their most prolific seasons. Unfortunately, the 1st X just missed out on what would have been a fitting send-off for those graduating in July, as they lost out in an incredibly close and exciting game with a final score of 7-5 to Glasgow. With so many new members, the second team have worked extremely hard to train up the new girls, most of whom had never played before. Fresher recruit, Beth Beattie, would not be alone in enjoying the “welcoming and inclusive” nature the club has built up with the help of the current captains. AUWLC have always taken the social side very seriously and 2013/14 was no exception. With socials ranging from a role-reversal night, pub golf, Christmas dinner and the second annual Lacrosse ball, it’s safe to say that we got a fair bit of use our of our gold cards. The annual lacrosse tour is never something to be missed and the 2014 tour to Dublin was no exception as 48 girls along with 18 boys made the trip across the Irish Sea. The club finished second in the lacrosse tournament and took home the social trophy; it is safe to say the side had a highly successful and memorable tour! Mixed events and matches were also organised throughout the year. A mixed fancy dress tournament took place in March which saw people attending lectures and tutorials in Minion, Avatar and Ninja Turtle outfits. This was a daylong event that was a chance for everyone to play some lacrosse and fuel some friendly competition between the men’s and women’s clubs following the culmination of their BUCS campaigns. This year the club has also held many fundraisers which in total have raised over £4000. The new AU bake off was a great success and saw some irresistible quiches, cakes and even a croquembouche entered! With the money raised, the club was able to focus on development, sending members on umpiring and coaching courses, as well as to coaching weekends in Edinburgh. The Scottish national coach came to Aberdeen on two occasions to coach the girls. This proved to be an invaluable experience, as it began to create bonds between Aberdeen Lacrosse and Lacrosse Scotland, which will provide many opportunities in the future. This year’s president, Megan Burgoyne, who has been re-elected to run for another year, was also selected to play for the Scottish home international squad. When interviewed for Her Campus magazine Megan said, ‘It’s an absolute honour and I couldn’t be more chuffed.’ In March, Megan travelled to Wales to play the English and Welsh national teams. This was an amazing achievement on top of a dissertation and final year study, but luckily a combination of self-discipline and time-management meant that this was possible. The year ahead is also set to be an exciting time for AUWLC as the club has managed to secure a coach. This is an exciting development for lacrosse in the Granite City as a coach has never been available before and so hopefully now AUWLC will climb up the BUCS tables as a result. We are also looking forward to seeing Emma Lister take on the challenge of Vice President of Sport, supporting the recently re-elected Sport President, Marc McCorkell. Megan Burgoyne sums up 2013/14 well when she says “This has been a highly successful year for AUWLC. Our committee have worked their socks off and have been absolutely superb. Our club grows stronger every year and I’m very excited for what next year will bring”. Ros Humphreys gives the lowdown on an outstanding 2013/14 season as AU Women’s Lacrosse Club continue to go from strength to strength Women’s Lacrosse Club continues to grow in stature following promising season The Men’s Football club once again entered four teams into the BUCs setup with three of them also playing in the Aberdeenshire Amateur League set-up. Club Captain, Max Williams, was delighted with the large intake of freshers to the club bringing up the total number of members in the club to 79. This year also marked the beginning of a sponsorship deal with Spur Steak and Grill who provide the team with their post match meal every Wednesday as well as purchasing three new kits for the teams participating in the Aberdeenshire amateur circuit. The 1st team had an injuryravaged season that left captain Dan Smith with the uphill task of keeping the side in their respective leagues. Unfortunately it proved to be too big a task with respect to the BUCs league, where they narrowly missed out on safety, marking the end of a two year stay in the top flight of Scottish University football but secured a respectable midtable position in the AAFA Premier Division. However, the club is very proud of central midfielder Vilius Makaravicius who was selected to represent the Scottish Univer- sity side earlier this season: a great honour. Special mention should also go to striker Dave Lawrence, who upon graduation this summer will leave the club as the all-time top goalscorer, scoring over 170 goals across his 5 years with the club. The 2nd team under the leadership of Robert Guyan have had a successful season so far, losing out on promotion in their BUCs league, finishing runners up 3 points adrift of Strathclyde after losing a promotion decider at Balgownie 1-0. As this article goes to press they are still in with a very good chance of promotion from the AAFA Division 2 East with only three games to go. Bruce Morrice was given the difficult task of rebuilding a 3rd team that had lost the majority of it’s players during the summer after moving up to the 2s. Despite this, Bruce led a side filled with freshers to 3rd place in the BUCs league and a safe mid-table position in the Division 2 East, a remarkable achievement for such a young side. Finally the 4s, who only compete in the BUCs set-up, had a mixed season that ultimately ended with a mid-table league position rounding off their season with a 2-1 victory over Queens Margaret University 1s. Next season Ben will hand over the reigns to his vice captain Jonathan Brown, who is aiming for promotion. On the 8th of May the club held their annual prize giving evening in Illicit Still with a list of the win- ners noted across. Ewen Reid gives an inside scoop on how Aberdeen Men’s Football Club fared this season. Men’s Football Club look to kick on following topsy-turvy season Photo/ AUFC AUFC AWARDS 1s: Captain’s Player of the Season: Iain Anderson Player’s Player of the Season: Aaron Edwards Top Goalscorer: Dave Lawrence 2s: Captain’s Player of the Season: Neil Moir Player’s Player of the Season: Alan Mclardy Top Goalscorer: Neil Moir 3s: Captain’s Player of the Season: Iain Hardie Player’s Player of the Season: Pete Tolmie Top Goalscorer: Iain Hardie 4s: Captain’s Player of the Season: Alan Thompson Player’s Player of the Season: Eric Paraiba Nascimento Top Goalscorer: Dan Kallos.

24 13 May 2014 Sport [email protected] The Gaudie Editor: Stuart Bill The week in tweets @HeatherWatson92 – the GB tennis star gives her reaction following Baltacha’s death last week following her long struggle with cancer We’ve lost our lovely Bally, too young. Rest in peace. My thoughts are with Nino and all of her family xx @connachtrugby – the Irish side announce a stellar signing NEWS: Centurion Muliaina to become Connacht’s first All Black @Graeme_McDowell - the N.I golfer on one of the many debates of his profession Bit of an impromptu long driving vs putting debate. In conclusion, I will never be a bomber. I can focus on what I do well & schedule well. ‏@CadelOfficial - Cadel Evans arrives in Belfast ahead of the start of the Giro d’Italia And...we’re in (N) Ireland! First time for me. #giro #thanksforthepic @CricketScotland - the Scotland cricket team train ahead of their ODI against England in Aberdeen Lovely morning in Mannofield. Scotland squad about to start training. #ScovEng @ClermontFoot the French Ligue 2 side announce Helena Costa as their new manager making her the highest-profile female manager of a European men’s team Helena Costa entrainera le Clermont Foot 63 la saison prochaine. Aberdeen University RFC has had an extremely successful season this year, claiming two league titles along the way. The club’s win rate was 72.1% (higher than Liverpool’s in the Premiership thus far), which placed them 23rd out of 106 University rugby clubs in the country, 2 places up from last year and puts them as the 2nd best-performing men’s sports club at the University this season. 1st XV The 1st XV had another successful season in league 1A, eventually finishing 2nd in the table but unfortunately not securing consecutive titles after losing a number of key forwards from the previous year. The highlight of the team’s season would have to be the win away to Dundee where the implementation of new coach Alec Duncan’s structures came to light and resulted in some fine rugby in tough conditions. The firsts are looking to build on this year’s positives with next year’s captain Graeme Clow at the helm and the team looking to have a good balance of youth and experience that will hopefully bring the 1A title back to Aberdeen. 2nd XV There was a strong league campaign by the 2nd XV, under captain Alex Bruce, as they finished 2nd in 2A. However, if it weren’t for narrow losses to Abertay and RGU, they would have been joint top. A disappointing cup exit against Heriot Watt in the cup quarter finals was soon amended by finishing the season on a high with a 27-0 victory on Kings against league winners Strathclyde, a fitting last game for many of the leavers. 3rd XV Angus Lutton guided the 3rd XV to the 3A championship and the Scottish Cup semi-finals, where they were also beaten by Heriot Watt. It was a great season for the 3s, topped off by the fact that, if it weren’t for BUCS regulations, next season would be the league above RGU 1st’s (who finished bottom of 2A). 4th XV Leading the 4th XV due to his little brother, Chris, taking his place in the 3rd’s, Jonny Gilfillan and his squad had a successful season, finishing 4th in 4A, ahead of St. Andrews 2nd’s! Saturday XV Although stuck on the sidelines, injury prone Captain/ Manager Craig Smith managed to inspire his Saturday XV to an unbeaten season in the league with 13/13 bonus points, earning promotion to Caley 2 North, and hopefully sparking a climb up through the leagues. The season was finished off with a 55-0 demolition of title contenders Kinloss Eagles on Kings, bringing the seasons points difference to +700. This years 1st year contingent have made a considerable con- tribution to the club with Cam- eron Simpson and Christopher Thompson securing their places in the 1st’s, helping to fill the void left over from the previous sea- son. However, Rory Fenn’s com- mitment to away games saw him spend more time on the A90 than on the pitch. With Tour Director, Graeme Clow, at the helm, this year’s tour was always going to be a success. The tour squad entered 2 teams into the Salou 7’s tournament, fin- ishing in 1st and 2nd out of a tour- nament of 12 teams, all looking the part, courtesy of the sponsored kit from Campus and Korova. Naturally the boys had a couple of beers to celebrate this magnificent feat before returning home to the Granite City. Preparation for next year’s season is already underway with newly elected president Andrew Mustard looking to expand on Sam Knudson’s great work. The Club would like to take this opportunity to thank all who came down to Kings and supported the boys on a weekly basis, The Machar Bar and the Red Lion for providing match teas and also our sponsors KPMG whose funding helps us run the club in such a successful manner. The season was summed up by Club President Sam Knudson, who said that is was “In all a very enjoyable and successful season on and off the pitch for the club. Unfortunately we are losing a lot of great club members who are graduating this year but we are looking forward to what next season will bring.” Stellar year for Aberdeen Men’s Rugby Football Club Jamie Gee, looks back on yet another superb year for the Men’s Rugby in the Granite City. Lithuanian Footballer With Celebration of the Season https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=aJ2lQv0DwFA Video of the Week Two weeks of frustrating weather continued when Aberdeen University Cricket Club finally kicked off their season against Stirling. Having had previous games against Edinburgh and St Andrews cancelled, there was a determination to get the game completed. The weather ensured that both sides were forced to play a reduced overs match, playing thirty overs apiece rather than the scheduled fifty. Aberdeen lost the toss and were sent out to bat on a tricky surface as heavy showers made for miserable playing conditions. Debutant Matthew Parker set the tone for the day, with a superb century as Aberdeen finished their thirty overs on 187-2. Ably assistant by Charles McNaught who contributed an extremely useful 44 not out by the close of the innings, this was the dream start for a 1st XI, which promised big things for the season. Stirling’s bowlers could only dismiss Callum Martin and Eddie Steinson before their bowling attack ran out of depth and Ab- erdeen could take advantage. Towards the interval the rain returned and a heavy shower threatened once again to stall Aberdeen’s progress. Working with the groundstaff at Dyce, it was notable to see the team coming together to work to beat the conditions and grab the first win of the season. With the rain skirting around the ground, constantly threatening, Aberdeen went out to field know- ing they would probably have to take all 11 Stirling wickets in order to claim the win. With pressure being the key word, Captain Fergus Whatley decided to open with Chris MacFarlane and Richard Adams, both of whom kept the shackles on the Stirling batsman. MacFarlane took the opening wicket and soon enough Aberdeen got into gear. Another debutant, Fraser Doig found his form with 4 wickets from his 6 overs. His excellent control and guile encouraged Whatley to persist with spin bowling. Taking the initiative, Whatley provided a further couple of wickets, while Nicholas Keyden’s part-time offbreaks mopped up the tail to allow Aberdeen to gain their first positive result of the outdoor season. Eddie Steinson reviews a strong performance as Aberdeen knock Stirling for six in first BUCS Aberdeen hammer University of Stirling in long-awaited season opener Photo/ AUSU Photo/ James Rudd