Intentional Living: Intentional Relationships Part #4 Family Ties
“...each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her hus-
band” (Eph. 5:33).
Rodney Dangerfield, the man who gets no respect, said, “My wife and I were happy for 20
years. Then we met.” And Henny Youngman has said, “The secret of a happy marriage re-
mains a secret.” Marriage is a complex relationship, perhaps one of the most intricate and
challenging relationships on the planet to understand. Even Paul mentioned marriage as being
a great mystery!
Unfortunately, many of us don’t realize this when we say, “I do.” We may think we love
one another and that will be enough. But then, hard times come and the marriage crumbles,
and they decide they don’t love one another anymore. Others think they can change their part-
ner to make them a perfect fit, but when change doesn’t happen, they decide that they weren’t
a good fit in the first place. However, odds are, the issue has very little to do with compatibil-
ity and more to do with the understanding and application of three Biblical keys.
Ephesians 5:21-33 speaks extensively about the marriage relationship, interestingly though
Paul relates the marriage relationship to the Lord Jesus Christ and the church. He paints a pic-
ture of how the church, or the bride, submits and respects Christ, the husband. But the tables
are then turned to the husband and one discovers how deeply Christ loves His bride and will-
ingly sacrificed Himself for her.
Paul’s first key is mentioned in verse 21, “…submit to one another out of reverence for
Christ.” Ugh! That!! Who wants to submit to someone else? Here in America, the focus is on
me – what can you do for me? How can I be successful? If I have time, I can fit you in. How
can this marriage fulfill me? The idea of submission is foreign and distasteful. Likewise, the
longevity of marriage and even the existence of a marriage relationship is quickly fading.
I want to challenge each of you who are in a marriage relationship to find ways to serve
one another, even if it is one thing a day. You could even ask your spouse what is something
you could do for them. It may take some time from your day and your agenda, but I promise
you, it will put a smile on your face and some joy in your heart. Who knows, God may choose
to bless your submission and multiply your efforts.
Before moving on, Paul mentions the reason he calls for submission – out of respect for
Christ. I’ve heard it said, “the couple that stays together prays together.” This is a further as-
pect of this key. While we submit to one another, we also submit ourselves to Christ through
prayer and devotion to Him. This is essential to the longevity of one’s marriage, having the
means to last through hardships, and to enable communication between partners. Therefore,
may we “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph. 5:21).
One writer said, “Having established the principle of Spirit-led submission as an obligation
for all Christians, Paul next illustrated how this principle was to be lived out in the home. He
called upon wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. This should not be taken to
mean that wives are to be doormats, allowing their husband to walk over them; nor are they
to be silent partners, wordlessly carrying out their husband’s directives. It means that wives
are to willingly support their husband’s leadership—not balking or undermining him. They
are to be active participants in the challenging task of running a Christian home. They are to
do everything they can to encourage and support their husbands’ leadership in the home, but
not blindly or unquestioningly.
When the husband is in error or even in outright sin, it is the wife’s responsibility to lov-
ingly confront him, pointing him back to the lordship of Christ as the ultimate authority. It
takes both partners to make a Christian marriage and home” (Bruce B. Barton and Philip
Then Paul goes on to explain further what that submission looks like for each partner.
First he mentions the wife. Why is she listed first when so often women are looked down on?
We don’t know for certain, but one thing that comes to mind is back in Genesis 3:16 where it
mentions the woman’s desire to control her husband, but that he is actually the head of the
household. But alas, Paul’s instruction for the wives is to submit to her husband as to the
Lord (Eph. 5:22-24). Furthermore, in his concluding statement, he says that the wife is to re-
spect her husband. If you were to ask a man which he values more respect or love, hands
down he would say respect. Thus, wives are to submit and respect. A husband needs encour-
agement in the areas that he is strong. By loving and encouraging a man in the good areas, he
is then enabled to change in the areas that need growth.
While respect is more important to the husband than it is to the wife, it is still important to
each person. Consider this, if a wife disrespects her husband in front of the kids, are the kids
going to respect dad? No! The opposite can be true as well. If a husband disrespects his wife
in front of the kids, they are going to be less likely to respect her. The same can be said in the
way that things are handled publically. So if there is something with which you disagree with
your spouse on, it maybe best to discuss it in private rather than publically. Women who pub-
lically disrespect their husbands encourage others to do the same. This doesn’t mean that you
always agree with your husband. But that you disagree with him respectfully and privately.
The third key Paul mentions is directed towards the husband. He spends the most time
here depicting how the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25-30).
Love is a choice through thick and thin. There will be good times and trying times in every
relationship. But when you make the choice to love someone, you remain committed regard-
less of the trying times. Both husbands and wives need each other to remain faithful to one
another (1 Cor. 7:10-11). Both have sexual needs which should be fulfilled (1 Cor. 7:3-5).
Both need each other to be the helpmate (Gen. 2:18-24).
A woman’s greatest need is love (Eph. 5:25). Women need their husbands to take care of
them, listen to them, be an emotional support for them. And they need their husbands to help
provide for them and the family. As husbands, we are called to love our wives as Christ loves
the church (Eph. 5:25). There is not a moment that Christ does not tenderly watch over us. So
does my love for my wife reveal Christ’s love for His bride the church? Am I willing to sacri-
fice for my wife just as Christ was willing to do for the church?
Thus the keys to a long lasting, fulfilling marriage lie in submission, love and respect for
one another out of respect for Christ. May we seek to love deeply, respect fully and devote
ourselves entirely to Christ and then each other.
In Christian Love,
Coe Church of Christ Schedule of Events
Contact: • July 10—Fellowship Lunch
10152 East Coe Road • July 17—Matt Honig (Pioneer Bi-
St. Louis, MI 48880
989-681-3185 ble Translators) Presenting and
[email protected] Preaching
• July 22—Congregational Cookout
Preaching Minister: 6pm to 8pm
Matt Boughan • Aug. 19-21—Hay Day VBS 6pm
989-710-1116 to 8:30pm
mattb[email protected] Sermon Series: No Perfect People Al-
Office Administrator: lowed
• July 3—#2: Friend of Sinners
989-388-7041 (Luke 7:34)
Assistant Office Administrator: • July 10—#3: Tolerance in an In-
989-763-5068 tolerant World Part #1 (1 Peter
[email protected] 3:15)
Eldership: • July 24—#4: Reality Check (Luke
Phil Leonard (chairman) 18:9-14)
989-388-1935 • July 31—#5: Handling Church
Hurt (Acts 10)
989-763-5579 Regular Service Times:
Jack Dougherty Sunday: 9:00 am
Don Engler Sunday School 10:00 am
Roger Freeze Worship
Steve Leonard Monday:
Darryl Quidort Ladies Bible Study 1:00 pm
Ministerial Office Hours:
Wednesday-Friday: 9:00 am-12:00 pm
Additional times available by
“Coe Church of Christ exists to reach out to the lost, and to train people to maturity in Christ
through discipleship, worship, and fellowship, completely following God’s Word.”
Missions Moment: Jamaica Bible Seminary
We as the Coe Church of Christ are committed to fulfilling the Great Commission (Matt. 28:18-20). And a
part of that is through sending missionaries around the globe. Ten percent of all that we receive goes to
support our various missionaries. Therefore, as a part of this congregation, you are making a global differ-
ence in people’s lives. So we would like to help inform, inspire, and implore you to be praying for those
that we support.
How Jamaica Bible Seminary is "Making a Difference on the Island of Jamaica"
Jamaica Bible Seminary (JBS) is building a new generation of Christian leaders that
can lead Jamaican Churches into the 21st century. The agents of this change will be 93 stu-
dents that have attended Jamaica Bible Seminary.
With this sense of purpose JBS is endeavoring to give Jamaican leadership the tools
and training to serve over 50 currently congregations and build New Testament Churches
and Basic Schools throughout the island of Jamaica and into the Caribbean, the United
States and beyond the Atlantic to Great Britain itself. The students are some of the best
within the country....a beacon of hope for the region.
From its early beginnings in 1945, JBS was established by Luke D. Elliott to provide
leadership for the growing number of churches only to see the hurricane of 1951 destroy
most of the church buildings and this was topped off with a mass exodus of many Jamai-
cans moving to England to rebuild that country after the war.
Donald Fream, Jim Herget and Woodrow Phillips from Ozark Bible College, were
joined by a Jamaican national A.M. Hepburn and conducted classes actively from m 1950-
1959, There were over 31 students trained. The property was given to Jamaica Christian
Mission to run a Christian Day School under the direction of Harold and Adelle Hill. The
Bible Seminary was in a hiatus until August 8, 1004.
Dr. Danny R. Gabbard then reopened formal Christian Training under the eldership of
the First Christian Church in Cocoa, FL under the name of Jamaica Christian College. A
few years later it reverted back to it's original name of Jamaica Bible Seminary, LTD, due
to another college registering the former name. We are currently registered and incorpo-
rated according to the laws of Jamaica and the laws of Florida.
Four week seminars in February, May, August and November, 30 hours in length, will
be conducted over 5 years to complete the course. This enables local leaders to attend to
their family and church responsibilities and still continue their education in the Word of
Thank you for your faithful support as we continue to grow and serve God.