Dudemen 2017

GO GOES
AS

Is there another player in the league that means as much as Ezekiel Elliott to the Cleats? With Zeke's
6 game suspension looming, GM Manning has found himself in a tough spot. The Cleats went from
last in 2015 to third in 2016, mainly on the back of their first round pick. GM Manning will do every-
thing in his power to get his star running back's suspension reduced, but the commissioner is known
to take a hard stance on domestic violence. Let's take a look at what exactly Zeke means to the
Cleats...

Category With Zeke Without Zeke Difference

Wins 7 3 4
Losses 6 10 4
Winning % 54% 23% 31%
Cleats Points
per Game 101.22 82.85 18.38

Zeke’s Total Points: 323.40
Zeke Points per Game: 21.56
Zeke's Replacement's PPG (Chris
7.24
Thompson): 14.32
Difference:

WIN TOTAL: From 7.5 to 5 AFTER
ODDS TO WIN CHAMPIONSHIP: CLEATS’
FROM +750 TO +1500 EZEKIEL
ELLIOT’S
SUSPSENION

50

2017
PREDICTION
11th2015
4-9

The #2015Champs made their way back to the playoffs in 2016, but were handed 2016
a quick first round exit. The Jacktown Jaguars are led by General Manager
Patrick Pierce, who has proven that he can win with lesser talent better than anyone RECORD

9-4

Points per game
100.0

in the league. A third straight trip to the playoffs will be Pierce’s toughest challenge Points Against per game
of his young career. The Jags end up being underrated every year, especially in 2016 91.3
when most pundits had them ranked last during the preseason. Pierce usually engi-
WINS TREND

neers a couple big trades to stay competitive each year and 2017 should be no differ-

ent. Pierce lays low during the offseason, but look for the Jags to do just enough once

the season starts to win more games than expected.

79

Quarterbacks start of the regular season. Rodgers should contrib- 2015 2016

Quarterback is arguably the strongest position on ute during the first few weeks of the season while HISTORY
the Jags. Kirk Cousins lights up the stat sheet as Doug Martin serves his suspension. Once Martin
QB1, but rookie sensation Dak Prescott is one of comes back, Rodgers may become irrelevant. C All-time Record
the best backups in the league. Both quarterbacks 16-10
barely take up any cap room, which allows GM Wide Receiver/Tight End
Pierce to spend elsewhere. Cousins lost his two top T.Y. Hilton lead all wide receivers in receiving yards Playoff Appearances
receivers from 2016, but they’ve been replaced last year and should be right back near the top in 2015, 2016
with just as explosive receivers. If he can improve 2017. With his speed and shiftiness, he’s able to
on his touchdown numbers, he’ll vault himself into make big plays every game. He is the best player on Playoff Record
the top 5 conversation. Then there’s Dak Prescott, the Jags, but there isn’t much behind him. Larry 3-1

Championships
2015

Runner Up

who is coming off one of the best rookie years of Fitzgerald, Cole Beasley, Kenny Stills, and Ted Ginn TOP ASSETS
all time. He had an outstanding touchdown to in- Jr. will usually be relied on in the FLEX positions. All
terception ration and reeled off 13 regular season
wins. It will be hard for Prescott to top his rookie four receivers are very different. Fitzgerald, despite 1) TY Hilton, WR
year, but that’s what Pierce is expecting. Prescott his age, was showing no signs of slowing down in 2) Hunter Henry, TE
has the running upside that makes him a serious
contender to be an every week starter. A 2016 until the final 6 games, when he only had 3) Randall Cobb, WR

over 60 yards one time. Beasley has a floor of 4) Kick Cousins, QB

around 6 points, but has a very limited ceiling. Stills 5) Dak Prescott, QB

Running Backs is so boom or bust that it’s hard to trust him. Ditto KEY MOVES
for Ted Ginn. He could just as easily score 20 points

What to make of the Jags running backs. They are as he can score 0 points. Tight end is the most ex- ADDITIONS
nothing to get excited about, but they usually pro-
duce just enough to make the Jags a contender. citing position on the Jags and that’s all because of  Carlos Henderson
Adrian Peterson will be 32 years old when the sea- (drafted 2.08)
son starts and Frank Gore, but they are both more Hunter Henry. Henry looks like he’s on his way to  Curtis Samuel
than capable to crank out 1,000 yard seasons. Both
running backs are also capable of playing second being a perennial top 5 tight end as soon as his Jags (drafted 2.09)
fiddle to their younger backfield mates. Mark In-
teammate Antonio Gates hangs it up. Henry and  Randall Cobb (signed for

Hilton give Jags fans hope in what most pundits $16)
SUBTRACTIONS

 Jordan Matthews (traded)

gram will surely take carries away from AP, while

upstart Marlon Mack looks like the real deal in In-

dy. Maybe age and competition will finally catch up

to Gore and Peterson in 2017, but you’d be a fool

to bet against him. Danny Woodhead is the RB3,

followed by Jaquizz Rodgers. Woodhead is also IMPACT ADDITION
getting up there in age, coming off an ACL tear, and Randall Cobb - After drafting
currently injured. But he should still catch a lot of Cobb in the FA Draft, Cobb
passes out of the backfield if he gets healthy by the immediately becomes the
Jags’ WR3.

51

QB PLAYER ACQUIRED 2016 TEAM SALARY YEARS REM.

1 Kirk Cousins 2016 FA Draft JAGUARS $10 2
2 Dak Prescott 2016 Waiver Wire JAGUARS $1 2

RB PLAYER ACQUIRED 2016 TEAM SALARY YEARS REM.

1 Frank Gore 2016 Trade JAGUARS $22 2
2 Adrian Peterson 2017 FA Draft JAGUARS $21 3
3 Danny Woodhead 2015 Trade JAGUARS $5 1
4 Jacquizz Rodgers 2016 Trade JAGUARS $1 2
5 James Conner 2017 Rookie Draft JAGUARS $0 3
6 Deangelo Williams 2016 Waiver Wire JAGUARS $3 1

WR PLAYER ACQUIRED 2016 TEAM SALARY YEARS REM.

1 TY Hilton 2015 Trade JAGUARS $36 1
2 Larry Fitzgerald 2016 Trade JAGUARS $9 1
3 Randall Cobb 2017 FA Draft EXPLORERS $16 3
4 John Brown 2017 Trade EXPLORERS $16 3
5 Kenny Stills 2016 Waiver Wire JAGUARS $6 2
6 Ted Ginn Jr. 2015 Waiver Wire JAGUARS $2 1
7 Cole Beasley 2016 Waiver Wire JAGUARS $1 2
8 Jeremy Kerley 2016 Waiver Wire JAGUARS $1 2
9 Carlos Henderson 2017 Rookie Draft ROOKIE $0 3
10 Curtis Samuel 2017 Rookie Draft ROOKIE $0 3
11 Malachi Dupre 2017 Rookie Draft ROOKIE $0 3

TE PLAYER ACQUIRED 2016 TEAM SALARY YEARS REM.

1 Hunter Henry 2016 Rookie Draft JAGUARS $1 2
2 Antonio Gates 2016 FA Draft JAGUARS $8 2

ALL EYES ON Dak Prescott he’s inside the opponent’s 20 yard line. SCOUNTING REPORT
Dak Prescott has to be the focal point of He’s not the fastest or most explosive,
the team, even if he’s not an every week but he’s smart and knows how to find the An opposing coach’s take on the Jags
starter. He came out of nowhere in 2016 holes in the defense. Him and Prescott
to unseat Tony Romo, win 13 games in a are the future for the Jags “The Jags are an interesting team.
row, and lead his team to a #1 seed. Now Somehow, they just keep winning.
he’s back for more. His rushing numbers KEYS TO CHAMPSHIONSHIP Defense That’s all that matters in the end, but
give him a solid floor, but GM Pierce Teams averaged 91 Points per game when you look at that roster, it just
hopes he takes on more of a role in the when playing the Jags in 2016. That’s by doesn’t inspire confidence. Yeah
passing game, even if that means a few far the lowest average against any team, there are some good players, but the
more interceptions. Prescott has already a whopping 12 points below the next
become a fan favorite in Jacktown. His closest. For the Jags to make another run running backs are closer to the
jersey is also one of the most bought jer- in 2017, they’ll probably need their oppo- retirement home than running for
seys in the nation. He’s a beacon of hope nents to average around the same another 1,000 yard season. Quarter-
on a team that lacks significant upside. amount of points for a second year in a back is great. So is WR1. Besides
row. The Jags were 7th in scoring a year that, there’s a lot of question marks. I
X-FACTOR Hunter Henry ago and have not made any significant like Hunter Henry, but it’ll be tough
Hunter Henry had 8 touchdowns on 36 improvements from that 2016 team. A lot to keep up that touchdown pace he
catches in 2016 and that was while of experts think they may have even
splitting time with Antonio Gates. Alt- gotten worse. Letting the other team lose was on in 2016.”
hough Gates is still there, Henry should may be a good strategy for the 2017 Jack-
get more playing time in his second year, town Jaguars.
which should certainly lead to more
catches. He’s already tough to handle in
the RedZone, but another year of prac-
tice should make him even deadlier when

ROOKIE REPORT Player Position College DLF Rank Stars
Carlos Henderson Wide Receiver Louisiana Tech #22
Pick Wide Receiver #14
2.08 (20) Curtis Samuel Wide Receiver Ohio State #45
2.09 (21) Malachi Dupre Running Back LSU #33
3.01 (25) James Conner
3.08 (32) Pittsburgh

52

5533

At one point in time, the Delinquents have rostered all of the You have to admit the Racketeers are risk takers. GM
best wide receivers in the game. Too bad that’s no longer the Ring’s starting WRs have all missed as many games as they

case. They still have Julio Jones, but after that it’s not have played in the past two years. Jordy is 32 years old
pretty. Julian Edelman was once a decent WR2, but now he’s and could be playing second fiddle to Davante Adams this
year. The Chargers showed no faith in Keenan by drafting
third in line for targets behind Gronk and Brandin Mike Williams with the 7th overall pick. Pair that with the
Cooks. Edelman is now just another scrappy, white guy that emergence of Tyrell Williams, and it’s looking like the WR1
will get lost in the shuffle of the Pats roster. Michael Crabtree days of Keenan Allen are long gone. Sammy is a one-trick
is slowly losing ground to Amari Cooper, who is in his third deep play speedster that may have lost his only weapon
year and is destined to steal the majority of the looks. The after two foot surgeries. GM Ring does have David John-
Raiders also brought in a TE that will pull targets away. As far son, but as always, the mighty will fall. DJ’s numbers from
as running backs go, Ameer Abdullah has been a chronic dis- last year are unrepeatable, and he is destined for a steep
appointment. Not starting his first year, and losing last year to
injuries is not what you want from your RB1. Next up, there’s regression. Couple that with the fact that Ring’s RB2 is
Isaiah Crowell, who is on the worst team in the league and really a WR4, and the Racketeers are asking for trou-
managed just 3.9 yards/carry in 2016. Everyone looking for ble. They did address the position with Mixon, but he
him to breakout are betting on a pipedream. Honestly, the went to a crowded backfield with a horrid O-line. No way
Ring repeats. While he is living in past and beating his
Delinquents have one of the most boring rosters in the
league. Have fun sitting in the middle of the pack again. meat to last year, Joe Mixon is beating a girl.

The ultimate wishful thinker. GM Dornan is notorious for
trading away talent for the intrigue of the “shiny new toy”
rookie. That's cool, Max, you got Demarco Murray in the

free agent draft, but what do you have after him? Your
next best RBs are not even the top two RBs on their NFL

team. They are glorified third down backs that either
have an injury history or lack the size to be relied on, on a
week-to-week basis. Reports from camp are that one of
the Sounds top WRs, Moncrief has had to sit out for some
upper body injuries. Pair that with his previous injury his-
tory, the fact that he may not have a starting QB, and the
uncertainty of the TD volume he has seen in the past, and

Moncrief is looking like a sure fire bust candidate this
year. Hopefully Jameis will make the next step and him
and Evans will carry this team. If not, relying that much on
the Bucs could be a mighty fail on the part of GM Dornan.

564

I don’t even think GM Pierce knows what he’s doing. This Hope you like the Saints my friend, because your prede-
roster is so all over the place and so devoid of talent. The cessor sure did. Speaking of the Saints, looks like you get
Jaguars have had success so far based on just pure luck. to choose between their two lackluster RBs on a pass first
Now it looks like Luck is going to be what screws him. For
real though, Andrew Luck could bend GM Pierce over this team. Oh wait never mind, you do have the league TD
year if he misses a lot of time. The Jags top RB and WR op- leader from last year in LeGarrette Blount; I’m sure with
tions are on a Colts team that could start the year without his 3.9 yards/carry and team switch he’ll replicate those
its franchise QB and leader of the offense. Throw that on
top of the fact that his RB group consists of washed up play- 18 TDs. That seems reasonable. No need to worry at
ers on the last legs of their careers or are the second option all. You do have one of the most explosive TEs in the
on their respective NFL teams and GM Pierce is asking for
an epic implosion. Also, good luck choosing between the LA league, but please ask him how his toe is doing for
TEs every week. That’ll be fun. And I just want to congratu- me. Also, you better pray his toe doesn’t cause him to trip
late the Jags. They managed to make a trade last year for and hit his head. With his concussion history, you may be
Arian Foster who literally retired the next week. Don’t wor- forced to trot out Witten, the slowest receiver in the game
ry though, they have two tight ends on the same team. That
shouldn’t be a headache at all. Literally. Lastly, Jacktown? of football. Seriously, my mom could run a faster route
than Jason Witten. Also, where the hell is Gluckstadt?
C’mon, this is the worst team name in the league.

Everyone put their hands together for Troymaine It’s been a long time since 13-0. GM Sullivan has been
Pope. Who you ask? Yeah, I don’t know who that is it keeping his head above water solely on the team he
either, but evidently GM Simon thinks that he’s going to accidently put together in the startup draft. Every
be valuable RB depth. And Donnel Pumphrey? I'll be move since then has slowly drug this team into medioc-
surprised if he makes the team. Now, to be fair his first rity. Seriously, count the number of disappointments
two RBs finished in the top 10 last year, but Gordon’s on the Bulldogs last year – Cam Newton, Todd Gurley,
yards per carry were atrocious and the TD volume will Dion Lewis, DeAndre Hopkins, Brandon Marshall. Hell,
see a steep regression. Also, Jordan Howard looks to even his “studs”, Amari Cooper and Greg Olsen, didn’t
live up to expectations. Don’t worry though GM Sulli-
head one of the worst offenses in the league. The van. We all know that it was just an off year for pretty
Bears figure to be behind a lot and often, and will be much all your starters, and they will progress to the
sure to abandon the run game early. Also, I’m sure GM mean. That will for sure happen. Oh and good luck
Simon is radiating confidence in his TE squad – a second fitting all those contracts next year. Lastly, the way you
year lukewarm player and the injury prone third option place every player on your team on a pedestal makes it
on the worst passing attack in the league. Here’s to near impossible for you to make a trade, which only
hurts your team even more. GM McDonald would have
your lack of depth Explorers. We salute you. even won a Championship with this roster by now.

55

We all thought that when the Sting finally shed the name Starkville Romo’s that they were finally moving
in the right direction. Boy were we wrong. I just want everyone to applaud GM Ragan for the best trade
of the Dudemen League to date. He gave up a 2nd round pick for a news anchor and a TE that isn’t even
on a team. Things aren’t too bad though. You do have Kevin White. He’s a young WR, has immense ath-
letic ability, could be the #1 on his team, and he comes with great draft pedigree. His WR coach did just
have to sit him down and watch old tape with him to show him how he used to be able to catch a football.
I’m serious, the coach literally had to sit White down and remind him that he used to be a good receiver.
There was a news story on it. That should help his confidence going into year three after only playing four
games and catching a total of 19 balls. I’m sure it’ll work out though. After all, it’s Championship or bust

this year.

You have to give it up to GM Sweatt. He’s got some good, high upside, young RBs. On the other
hand, he has two retired WRs on his roster. I’ll repeat that. He has two retired players on his ros-
ter. As in, they do not play. The Showboats are literally going to ride with the (maybe) WR1 on the
Vikings. We all know how prolific Sam Bradford was last year. He can really air it out. GM Sweatt
also has Brandin Cooks, who will have Tom Brady throwing to him. He should definitely get a good
target share NE. He’s only competing with Gronk, Edelman, Allen, Hogan, Amendola, Mitchell, Lewis,
and White for targets. That won’t be a problem at all. Especially since the guy throwing the ball is
40. Speaking of the Patriots, Sweatt does have Gronk, who has had nine reported surgeries since en-

tering the NFL. No way anything bad happens to him. He’s the pinnacle of health.

Little Daniel. Oh little Daniel. With your cute little team name, I want to be nice to you and tell you every-
thing is going to be alright, but we both know it won’t. Your starting QB has mentioned retirement more
times in the offseason than the media has mentioned Zeke’s suspension. He’s one injury away from hang-

ing up the cleats. Your backup QB showed potential, but he is still working with one of the worst WR
corps in the leagues. You have Le’Veon Bell, but I don’t even think he can save your team. Your other RBs
consist of two scat backs and a guy that is suspended. Let’s break down your wide receivers: Sanders - #2
without a QB | Matthews – relegated to slot | ARob – Blake Bortles…enough said | Marvin Jones – Golden
Tate…enough said | Wallace – old, crowded WR core, hurt QB | Adams – drops, TD regression | Eli Rogers
– lol | Fuller – broken collarbone. Everyone was shocked by your draft day activity, but by the looks of it,

your moves seem more like the Cleveland Browns than the New England Patriots.

Can we have a moment of silence for the Clutch City Cleats? This is the team that one year
ago held almost every record in every negative category for the DFL. The Cleats are complete

garbage. They made a few splashes last year riding on the back of a Zeke, but it looks like
that ride is about to end. Zeke punched a chick and is about to be taking a long vacation dur-

ing the very crucial first part of the year. There is some good news though, the Cleats own
the young, athletic WR1 for the Ravens. Oh wait…didn’t they just bring in Maclin…Flacco got
hurt…and Perriman tweaked his leg and had to leave practice early. The only thing receding

faster than Perriman’s career is his hairline.

This is like one of those situations where you want to look away, but you just can’t. What an absolute
dumpster fire. I can see the flames from miles away. Most of the time when teams are trying to re-
build, they do so by obtaining players with upside. There is no upside on the Red Stick’s roster. His

top two RBs are average at best and fading fast. One of his only wide receivers with any upside,
Quincy Enunwa, just got put on IR. I’ve never thought a team looked worse going into a season. On a
brighter note, GM McDonald does have five 2018 1st round picks. To get a feel for what GM McDon-

ald will do with these picks, let’s take a look at his last two years of rookie picks: 2015 – Pharoh
Cooper and Leonte Carroo / 2016 – Samaje Perine, Marlon Mack, Fred Ross, and Mitch Tru-
bisky. Wow…such potential…you are a draft day savant.

56

2017

12thPREDICTION
1-12

Let the rebuild begin. What is there to say about the 2017 Red Sticks? This 2016
might be one of the least talented teams to ever be assembled. There is hope,
however, in the form of FIVE 2018 first round draft picks. That should expedite the RECORD

6-7

Points per game

rebuilding process, especially if a couple of those picks end up in the top 5. GM 97.8
McDonald will have to show patience. There could be significant changes in 2018 Points Against per game
around the league and having several draft picks and a lot of cap space could be the
recipe for success. Miracles do happen, though, so let’s not put this team’s playoff 103.1

WINS TREND

chances at 0% quite yet. It just may take 100 injuries around the league. McDonald

knows 2017 will most likely be a waste, but look for him to make various moves to

get himself in better position for 2018. 76

Quarterbacks should get a handful of carries a game, and possi- 2015 2016

Andy Dalton, Blake Bortles, and Mitch Trubisky are bly provide FLEX starts for the Racketeers. D HISTORY
about as average as you can get at the quarterback
position. Dalton and Bortles are inconsistent, but Wide Receiver/Tight End All-time Record
13-13

startable. Dalton lost a couple of his offensive line- If you thought the running back situation was Playoff Appearances
men this offseason, but gained a couple more play- rough, you may want to look away. The Red Sticks 2015
makers at the skill position. If he shows promise in number one wide receiver is Demaryius Thomas.
2017, he could actually be the QB of the future for Not that there’s anything wrong with Thomas. He’s Playoff Record
the Red Sticks. Bortles has been the garbage time a fine receiver. He’s just not an ideal WR1, espe- 0-1
king for the past 2 years, but that may change this cially when WR2 is Eric Decker. Kenny Britt is the
year. His team is likely to be better in 2017 with a WR3, or is Britt the WR2 and Decker the WR3? If Championships
revamped running game and defense, which would those three were a team’s WR2, 3 and 4, it would
Runner Up

TOP ASSETS

mean less garbage time. Bortles will have to be- be great. But that’s not the case here. The Red 1) Demaryius Thomas, WR
come more efficient to have another top 10 sea-
son. McDonald has high hopes for Trubisky as the Sticks will be outgunned at wide receiver in every 2) Jimmy Graham, TE
future of his franchise. Trubisky likely won’t make single matchup. The Red Sticks also have Pharoh 3) CJ Anderson, RB
much noise in 2017, but he should be ready to con- Cooper and Leonte Carroo, who are two players 4) Andy Dalton, QB
who may be able to show some potential in 2017. 5) Samaje Perine, RB

tribute by 2018, which is turning out to be the year Although neither will likely have the volume to be KEY MOVES
of the Red Sticks. B
startable. It’s safe to say wide receiver will be a top ADDITIONS
Running Backs
There isn’t much to say about the Red Stick run- priority in the 2018 Draft. The lone bright spot on  CJ Anderson (traded)
nings backs. Matt Forte, CJ Anderson, Paul Perkins,
Marlon Mack, and Samaje Perine all have potential the team is at tight end. Jimmy Graham is the best  Blake Bortles (traded)
but are underwhelming overall. Anderson bursted Samaje Perine (drafted
onto the scene a few years ago and looked to be a player on the Red Sticks, which also makes him the  2.02)
top 10 back for the foreseeable future, but injuries
best trade asset. Graham experienced a resurgence  Demaryius Thomas (

is 2016 and should be even better in 2017. He SUBTRACTIONS

doesn’t bring much value to this roster, so look for  Aaron Rodgers (traded)

him to be traded sooner rather than later.  Golden Tate (traded)
 Kyle Rudolph (traded)
WR: F TE: A  Spencer Ware (traded)

and performance have slowed that narrative. Per-

kins looked average in his rookie year with only a

few flashes, but seems to have the backfield to

himself in 2017. The volume alone makes him a

starter for the Red Sticks. Mack and Perine are tal-

ented rookies, but both have a veteran in front of

them. Perine seems to have the clearer path to the IMPACT ADDITION
starting lineup and many experts think he’ll be- Demaryius Thomas - We
come the full-time starter in the first few weeks of doubt the Red Sticks drafted
the season. At the very least, Perkins and Perine DT with any intention of
holding DT all season. Look
57 for him to quickly get flipped
for a 1st round pick.

QB PLAYER ACQUIRED 2016 TEAM SALARY YEARS REM.

1 Andy Dalton 2015 Waiver Wire RED STICKS $3 1
2 Blake Bortles 2017 Trade DELINQUENTS $2 1
3 Mitchell Trubisky $0 3
2017 Rookie Draft RED STICKS
RB PLAYER SALARY YEARS REM.
ACQUIRED 2016 TEAM
1 Matt Forte $45 1
2 CJ Anderson Inaugural Draft RED STICKS $28 1
3 Paul Perkins 2017 Trade SOUNDS $1 2
4 Samaje Perine 2016 Trade $0 3
5 Jonathan Stewart RED STICKS $15 3
6 Marlon Mack 2017 Rookie Draft ROOKIE $0 3
7 Wendall Smallwood 2017 Trade SING $1 3
ROOKIE
WR PLAYER 2017 Rookie Draft SALARY YEARS REM.
2017 FA Draft RACKETEERS
1 Demaryius Thomas $75 3
2 Eric Decker ACQUIRED 2016 TEAM $8 1
3 Marquise Goodwin $2 2
4 Jaron Brown 2017 FA Draft DUNKAROOS $2 3
5 Tavon Austin Inaugural Draft RED STICKS $1 3
6 Kenny Britt 2017 FA Draft FREE AGENT $1 2
7 Adam Humphries 2017 FA Draft EXPLORERS $1 3
8 Pharoh Cooper 2017 FA Draft $1 2
9 Leonte Carroo 2016 Waiver Wire SOUNDS $1 2
10 Fred Ross 2017 FA Draft RED STICKS $0 3
2016 Rookie Draft FREE AGENT
TE PLAYER 2016 Rookie Draft RED STICKS SALARY YEARS REM.
2017 Waiver Wire RED STICKS
1 Jimmy Graham $22 1
2 Dwayne Allen ACQUIRED ROOKIE $12 2

Inaugural Draft 2016 TEAM
2017 Trade
RED STICKS
SOUNDS

ALL EYES ON Paul Perkins car so the back left tire could be changed. SCOUNTING REPORT
If you have to pick someone, Paul Perkins Thus a legend was born. He could make
is the pick. He will shoulder the load this his living at the goal line this year as he An opposing coach’s take on the Red Sticks
year at running back. He’s not the most plows through defenders like they’re
talented, but sometimes all a player sheets of paper. Perine can do more than “Do I really need to do this? I don’t
needs is the opportunity, and that’s what punch it in from one yard out though, feel like being mean today. I mean
Perkins has this year. He ran for 456 which is what makes him the Red Sticks X what is there to say about this team?
yards in 2016, averaging 4.1 yards per Factor. Quarterback and tight end are okay I
tote. With a below average offensive line, guess. But man, look at those run-
it may be hard to improve on the yards KEYS TO CHAMPSHIONSHIP Miracles ning backs and wide receivers. I don’t
per carry, but the total yards should at It will seriously take a miracle for the know if I completely agree with the
least double. Perkins will likely be a RB2, Red Sticks to win the Championship. So tank, but we saw what one player
with the occasional RB1 week. many players on other teams will have can do for the Cleats. That’s a lot of
to get injured. Red Stick running backs faith in the 2018 draft class though.
X-FACTOR Samaje Perine will have to turn into studs. All those
Samaje Perine is a load. He is 5’11 and WR3 caliber wide outs will have to con- GM McDonald better hope this
236 pounds with tree trunks for legs. At sistently score double digits. GM tanking plan pays off or the Red
one point while Perine was in college, in McDonald will have to make a deal Sticks are going to be terrible for a
the summer of 2015, he noticed a woman with the devil. If all that happens, the
with a flat tire in the parking lot of the Red Sticks could win the Championship. very long time.”
Bud Wilkinson House on Oklahoma's
campus. She didn't have a car jack. So
what did Perine do to help? He lifted the

ROOKIE REPORT Player Position College DLF Rank Stars
Samaje Perine Running Back Oklahoma #14
Pick Maron Mack Wide Receiver South Florida #20
2.02 (14) Wide Receiver Mississippi State #51
2.05 (17) Fred Ross Quarterback North Carolina #35
3.05 (29) Mitchell Trubisky
3.06 (30)

58

Tanking is not
something we are
focused on at this point

59

There's no doubt about it: The Baton Rouge Red Sticks’ General Manager AJ McDonald has bought into the
rebuilding plan.

From the first trade in early May to the Free Agent Draft shocker (Demaryius Thomas for $75!), the Red Sticks have
acquired 5 first round picks in the 2018 Rookie Draft. They've gone from one of the oldest rosters in the league to
one of the youngest, thanks to an offseason purge that has claimed 7 veteran players, including Aaron Rodgers,
Golden Tate, and Isaiah Crowell.

It’s been a tough offseason at the Red Sticks’ headquarters. Players come in for workouts not knowing whether or
not they’ll be cut by the time their workout ends. You wonder how fans feel about their favorite players being
shown the door.

Early Tuesday evening, after the free agency draft was complete, a somber McDonald addressed the Red Sticks’ beat
reporter. Initially, there was no plan to make him available to the media, but the Red Sticks recognized it would have
been a bad look if the head of their football team stayed in hiding on such an eventful day.

"I think our focus from day one has been to build this thing through the draft," McDonald said of the massive
rebuild. "We’ve obviously talked about building a young team going forward to better position ourselves for future
success. It’s going to be a competitive roster. There’s going to be a lot of opportunities for a lot of players on this
roster and that will play itself out over time. But again, we’re doing things we feel are going to help this organization
both short and long term."

McDonald was asked several pointed questions.

Is the team tanking for a better draft pick in 2018?

"Tanking is not something we’re focused on at this point," he said. "We’re focused on making the smart decisions
about this team going forward."

Is this the worst roster in the league?

"I’m not going to speculate on our roster compared to anybody else's roster," he said.

Were you financially motivated when you traded Aaron Rodgers?

"No, I think there are a lot of things that go into these decisions," he said. "I think we’ve been focused on trying to
create opportunities for a lot of players on this roster. We have some very competitive positions, and we’ll see how
it unfolds going forward."

That’s a lot of “coachspeak” for a GM who may or may not be on the hot seat depending on how you look at things.
Did McDonald destroy this roster so badly that he deserves to get the boot? Or does he get time to see what he can
do with all the draft picks?

The silver lining here is the aforementioned draft situation. The departed 7 veterans resulted in 5 first round picks in
the 2018 Rookie Draft. Those picks, along with a significant amount of cap space, will create tremendous flexibility
next offseason.

In the meantime, there will be suffering, plenty of suffering. The Red Sticks may have a tough time winning even one
game this season. Las Vegas bookmakers have set the over/under on their win total at 1.5. That’s the lowest in
league history.

"I think we’ll measure success in terms of different things," McDonald said. "Obviously, wins are important, but they
aren’t the only measure of success. All 12 teams can’t win the Championship each year. Each off-season, 11 teams
find themselves disappointed. So we’ll measure success on how our players develop. There are a lot of aspects that
go into that, and we’ll evaluate it going
forward.”

Another measure of success will be where in the standings the Showboats, Sounds, Racketeers, and Dunkaroos
finish.

Walk into the Red Sticks’ facility right now and you’ll see McDonald constantly wearing sunglasses. “That’s to remind
everyone that the future is very bright in Baton Rouge” says McDonald with a smirk.

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2018 MOCK DRAFT1. Racketeers Receive: Derrick Henry, Pick 3 (Joe Mixon)
Sting Receive: Lamar Miller, Terrelle Pryor, Pick 7 (OJ Howard), Racketeers 2018 First

Analysis: In the first blockbuster of the offseason, the Sting went for it all, while the Racketeers took a gamble on
youth. GM Ragan and GM Ring worked on the details of this trade for several days. Ragan wanted an infusion of talent
and got it. Lamar Miller immediately becomes the Sting’s RB2, Terrelle Pryor becomes a FLEX upgrade, and OJ Howard
is the tight end of the future on a team that desperately needs a tight end. Throw in the Racketeers’ 2018 First Round
Pick and this trade was a no brainer for Ragan. Meanwhile, the Racketeers get two talented running backs. Ring want-
ed Joe Mixon all summer and made sure he got him. Now he has to hope Mixon stays out of trouble. Derrick Henry is
another talented young runner that is expected to take the next step in 2017 before eventually becoming a bell cow in
2018. This was a good trade all around with both teams getting what they wanted.

2. Delinquents Receive: Pick 2 (Christian McCaffrey), Jags 2018 First
Dunkaroos Receive: Allen Robinson, Sounds 2018 Second, Delinquents 2018 Second

Analysis: Tom and Gisele, Tony and Candace, RGIII and knee surgeries, GM Mosby and CMC - all duos made for each
other. Mosby was getting Christian McCaffrey one way or another. By doing so, he made the Dunkaroos one of the
best teams in the league. GM Ellis gave up the second overall pick in the Draft and a 2018 First for Allen Robinson and a
couple second round picks. ARob is one of the premiere young wide receivers in the league and a bounce back from a
disappointing 2016 is expected. The Dunkaroos got the proven wide receiver and the Delinquents got the do-it-all run-
ning back. It’s too early to tell who won this trade, but both GMs have to feel good about their side of the deal.

3. Red Sticks Receive: CJ Anderson, Dwayne Allen, Sounds 2018 First, Sounds 2019 Second
Sounds Receive: Golden Tate, Kyle Rudolph, Pierre Garcon

Analysis: The tank is on in Baton Rouge. GM McDonald went complete fire sale during the 2017 offseason, racking
up 5 First Round Picks, including the Sounds. GM Dornan was more than happy to unload his 2018 First in exchange for
a TE1 (Kyle Rudolph) and WR2 (Golden Tate). He also unloaded a couple of his bad salaries in CJ Anderson and Dwayne
Allen. McDonald, on the other hand, knows the 2017 season will be a waste so he’s building for the future. The Red
Sticks were once contenders in 2015, but it’s been a slow fade to mediocrity since then. The Sounds are the winners of
this trade, but it could benefit the Red Sticks come 2018.

4. Red Sticks Receive: Blake Bortles, Dunkaroos 2018 First
Delinquents Receive: Isaiah Crowell, Julian Edelman

Analysis: Like the Sounds, the Delinquents traded a first round pick to become more competitive in 2017. Crowell
takes over as the Delinquents’ RB1 and Edelman slides in as WR2. Those are two upgrades that should have the Delin-
quents competing for a playoff spot. The Red Sticks reel in another first while staring 0-13 in the face. We saw how
much Ezekiel Elliott helped the hapless Cleats. GM McDonald has to hope the 2018 class has similar results for his
team.

5. Sounds Receive: Pick 4 (Corey Davis)
Dunkaroos Receive: Pick 6 (Mike Williams) and Pick 10 (Juju Smith-Schuster)

Analysis: This trade will be a fun one to watch over the next 3 years. Corey Davis was the consensus #1 wide receiver
in the draft, but Mike Williams wasn’t too far behind. Smith-Schuster was the consensus #1 this time last year. GM Dor-
nan had his eye on Davis from the beginning and decided that trading two first round picks to move up two spots was
worth it. GM Ellis was fine with moving back and picking up two receivers that should contribute to his team for years.
Time will tell who won this deal, but both General Managers are feeling pretty good right now.

Honorable Mention:
Sounds Receive: Pick 13 (Kareem Hunt)
Sting Receive: Tony Romo (Retired), Ladarius Green (Released), Pick 28 (Traded along with Pick 23 for
Martellus Bennett)

Analysis: #NeverForget

61

THE ART
OF THE

Trading is the Name of the Game

That’s the amount of trades that have been
processed since the league started in 2015. It
all started with the Sounds sending Jimmy
Graham, their 2016 Second Round Pick, and
$7 in free agency cash for Jordan Matthews and the Red
Sticks 2016 First Round Pick. Matthews has since made his
way to two additional teams, while Graham has found a
home in Baton Rouge. You see, there’s plenty of methods
to trading. While trades can be controversial, they are es-
sential to building a winning football team.

Everyone has won and lost a trade. We’ve all made bad 3) don’t be afraid to counter
trades (see: In 2015, the Racketeers sent a 2016 First to the
Showboats for Josh Gordon). We’ve also all made good Most GMs don’t open with their best offer. The worst
trades. What does your reaction to a trade stem from? Are thing you can do is say no and move on. There’s a dance to
you mad that you didn’t make an offer first? Are you angry trading that isn’t a simple yes or no. It’s not important
at the system? Angry at the “sucker?” Not everyone is a whether the first offer is accepted or not (it’s usually not).
lying salesman trying to cheat you of your savings. A will- The reaction is the most important part. Maybe it was a
ingness to trade is the most important quality a General good offer at the wrong time. Maybe it was a good offer,
Manager can possess. Trades can swing a season and make but the wrong trade piece from your team. The offeree
a career. Here are the four trade commandments: should keep an open mind and realize there is probably a
benefit to exploring a counter offer. Or at the very least,
1) keep the conversation going telling the offeror what you’re looking for and letting the
offeror counter his own initial proposal with a better pro-
The worst thing you can do is make an initial offer that posal.
immediately turns off your opponent. Build rapport with
your trade partner. That way, you can get better infor- 4) it’s okay to be wrong
mation on what they desire. If you hear them complain
about a certain player you like slumping, your ears should The ultimate goal is to win the league. As we’ve dis-
perk up. A lot of trading is not in the ask itself, but the state cussed, trading is an important aspect of sustained success.
of listening and trying to add value. If you can deliver that Losing a trade is okay. A lot of times, losing a trade leads to
value, that’s when it’s time to speak up. successful trades in the future. You never want to be
known as a rip-off artist. You should absolutely want your
2) know your opponents and know their trade opponents to think they can win a trade. Ideally, all trades
personalities would be win-win, but that’s just not how it works. By los-
ing some trades or overpaying in the short-term, you’ll be
Knowing the trade personalities of each GM in the welcomed as more of a neutral dealmaker in the future.
league can go a long way. Some GMs love to trade, some
don’t. For the GMs that love to trade, it may be smart to Trades take time and effort. You won’t always win or find
start off with some important data, like “Did you know GMs willing to negotiate. Stay patient and courteous be-
your running back position has produced the 10th fewest cause in the long run, trading is an essential key to success.
points in the league?” Maybe that GM would consider
trading for your red hot running back. For the tentative As Boobie would say, “Trading is fun, fun, fun!”
GMs that don’t like to counter, you have to start off with
an attractive offer, maybe even an overpay. Maybe a GM
LOVES ADP as an indicator of a player’s value. Offer that
GM someone you feel is overvalued. It’s not difficult to fig-
ure out the trade personalities of most GMs.

62

GM REPORT CARDS

Being a General Manager isn’t always easy but some are better at it than others. Who graded out
the best during 2015 and 2016?

Hillhouse, Justin
Gluckstadt Generals

NA
NA
NA
NA
NA
NA
NA
NA

Tune back next year.

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Cap Management = Does the GM make the necessary moves to improve their cap.
Scouting = How has the GM’s drafted/traded for players have performed.
In-Season Management = Does the GM make the necessary trades/waivers to stay competitive during the season.
Long-Term Planning = Does the GM make moves to improve his team in the future.
Offseason Management = Is the GM active in the offseason working to improve his team.
On-Field Results = Does the GM’s players play up to their skill level.
Trading = Does the GM actively seek trade and do the trades that are completed turn out well.

64

2018 MOCK DRAFT

The 2018 Rookie Draft (a.k.a The Red Sticks Future) is less than a year away but cannot get here
soon enough for Red Stick fans. With already 5 first round picks, GM McDonald is ‘All In’ on
this draft class. Many scouts rank the 2018 between the 2016 and the 2017 class. Guice,
Barley, and Sutton are all elite prospects and if drafted into the right situations, will find them-
selves inserted into the starting lineups sooner rather than later. How might the first round of
rookie drafts look?

1.04: NICK CHUBB, Running Back, UGA
1.03: COURTLAND SUTTON, Wide Receiver, SMU
1.02: SAQUON BARKLEY, Running Back, Penn State
1.01: DERRIUS GUICE, Running Back, LSU

BATON ROGUE DALLAS DUNKAROOS CLUTCH CITY DALLAS
RED STICKS CLEATS DELINQUENTS
(via Jags)
Some called Guice the best RB Listed at 6-4, 215 pounds, it Chubb is the definition of a phys-
on LSU’s team last year, which Barkley and Guice are inter- doesn’t take long to notice ical, downhill running back, who
is a high remark due to this changeable, depending on who Sutton when the Mustangs could thrive in an offense that
years 1.01 also wearing purple you ask. Barkley rushed for take the field. He’s got the pro- requires a workhorse running
and gold. As a freshman in $1,496 yards and 18 touch- totypical frame of an receiver, back to dominate between the
2015, Guice showed flashes of downs for Penn State last year and the skill set to match. A tackles. As a runner, Chubb is
his dynamic ability, carrying the and has all the physical tools to quick look at the numbers impossible not to like. He is akin
ball just 51 times but averaging be an impact player and offen- shows plenty to like. In 2016, to a human bowling ball, rolling
8.5 yards per rush. In 2016, sive centerpiece at the next Sutton racked up 1,246 yards over tacklers and being a physi-
he’s maintained a similar aver- level. He is also an exceptional and 10 touchdowns on 76 cal force in the tackle box.
age, but has taken the torch receiver out of the backfield -- catches, earning first-team all- Chubb is a powerful runner who
from Fournette as the engine he caught 28 passes for 402 conference honors. Similar to also has the quickness to rip off
that powers the Tigers offense. yards and four touchdowns last Mike Williams in this year’s yards in chunks. Averaging 5.0
At 5-11, 212 pounds, Guice has season -- and is a terrific block- draft, Sutton may not have yards per carry, Chubb could
the frame to run with power er. Barkley takes pride in the elite straight-line speed, but make the case to be the second
and abandon between the dirty work and, by all accounts, he’s more than explosive running back off the board, if he
tackles. Guice slide into the is a high-character guy off the enough to challenge corners has a strong senior season, two
Red Stricks’ RB1 slot from field who can be an asset in the down the field and after the years removed from a 2015 knee
Week 1 as they start the long locker room. Barkley will give catch. Sutton would give the injury. If CMC pans out, Chubb
(and much needed) rebuilding the Dunkaroos another run- Cleats nice WR2-3 production will give the Delinquents one of
process. ning back option to take some for the next couple years and the best thunder-and-lighting
pressure off Le’Veon Bell. should be hitting his prime dues in the nation.
when Green slows down.

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1.08: PARRIS CAMPBELL, WR, Ohio St.
1:07: CALVIN RIDLEY, WR, Alabama
1:06: CHRISTIAN KIRK, WR, Texas A&M
1.05: JAMES WASHINGTON, WR, OSU

BATON ROUGE GLUCKSTADT STARKVEGAS BATON ROUGE
RED STICKS GENERALS STING RED STICKS

(via Sounds) The passing-driven nature of Ridley reminds many of the last (via Dunkaroos)
the NFL makes a weapon like great Alabama receiver, Amari
Washington is a big-bodied Kirk in demand for pro offens- Cooper. Ridley has a lot of With only having 13 receptions
target who has a knack for es. Many scouts have com- strengths to his game as he is a and 121 yards, Campbell’s stats
making plays down the field. pared him to OBJ. What many fast receiver who is very adept do not exactly scream “first
He’s immediately jumps off the love about Kirk is his raw speed at creating separation. With his rounder” but Campbell has big-
field because of his athleticism and explosiveness. Kirk is dy- quick feet and sudden athleti- time ability and many believe
and ability to make acrobatic namic as a deep receiver to cism, Ridley is a very good he is going to break out. Camp-
plays. He is the type of target stretch the field vertically while route-runner. Ridley will get bell is a versatile offensive
where a quarterback can lob providing a serious home-run drafted into a nice situation weapon, able to be moved
the ball up and feel confident weapon to his offense. Kirk where he isn’t needed for in- around back and forth from
his player will come down with adds another receiver to the stant impact and can learn be- traditional wide receiver and
the catch. Washington gives General’s great corps. hind Dez. running back positions. Camp-
the Red Sticks another young bell would give the Red Sticks
receiver to build around. another piece to the puzzle.

1.12: ROYCE FREEEMAN, RB, Oregon
1.11: RONALD JONES, RB, USC
1.10: BO SCARBROUGH, RB, Alabama
1.09: ANTONIO CALLAWAY, WR, Florida

BATON ROGUE FEDERAL BEALE STREET BATON ROGUE
RED STICKS EXPLORERS BULLDOGS RED STICKS

(via Showboats) Scarbrough is entering the No running back kicks it from (via Racketeers)
2018 season coming off a bro- first gear to second gear faster
In 2016, Callaway totaled 54 ken leg suffered in the national than Jones, and his top gear is With Oregon's down 2016 and
receptions for 721 yards with championship game. He ran for scintillating. At 6-foot-1 and myriad running backs piecing
three touchdowns. He 812 yards and 11 touchdowns 195 pounds, Jones has a skinni- together fine seasons, Freeman
displayed his deep speed and in 13 games last season. Nearly er build, but he's flourished was overlooked last year. After
play-making ability during the half his rushing yards came in between the tackles in his first totaling 3,100 total rushing
season despite inconsistent the final three games of the two years at USC. Last year he yards in his first two seasons
quarterback play. Callaway season. He’s entering the 2018 had 1,082 yards at 6.1 yards for the Ducks, his workload
plays bigger than his size and is season as Alabama’s lead run- per carry with 12 rushing was scaled back. Freeman has
a threat to rip off a long gain ning back and reminds many of touchdowns. Jones provides a style reminiscent of former
anytime he touches the ball. Derrick Henry. Scarbrough GM Sullivan another option at Oregon star Jonathan Stewart.
However, he has major off-the- would provide the Explorers running back while the Bull- He has a big but compact
field concerns which could hurt with much needed running dogs decide who to resign frame and consistently shows
his draft stock. With 5 picks in back depth. during the off-season. off impressive change-of-
the first round, GM McDonald direction skills and vision. Free-
could take a gamble on one of man tops off the Red Sticks’
the most talented receivers. haul.

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