Hope In Times Of Trouble

TroubleIN TIMES OF

Dear friend,

The booklet you hold in your hands is
one in a series designed to help you with
practical “hands-on” information in your
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HOPE

Troublein times of

Copyright © 2011
PROJECT: Steps to Christ, Inc.
302 Foster Road
Fort Covington, NY 12937
Printed in the USA
Scripture taken from the New King James Version.
Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson,
Inc. Used by permission.
All rights reserved.

HOPE

Troublein times of

F by Victor Parachin
orty-one-year-old Kathleen Gooley was
engaged, set a wedding date, mailed out
invitations, reserved a reception hall,
contracted with caterers for a festive meal with
friends and families. But two months before the
wedding, the groom got cold feet and backed
out. While she had time to notify guests about
the cancellation, Gooley was responsible for the
$4,000 bill issued by the caterers. In a moment of
inspiration and remarkable generosity, Gooley

2
decided that others should benefit from her
misfortune. She decided to throw a party for the
homeless. So, on June 24, 1990—what should
have been her wedding day—Gooley arranged
for bus loads of 150 homeless men and women
from southwestern Connecticut to be driven to
the catering hall. Many had not had a hot meal in
weeks, but that Saturday they feasted on elegant
hors d’oeuvres and an exquisite full-course meal.

Although Gooley’s disappointment was
considerable and publicly embarrassing, her re-
sponse to this personal crisis was both graceful
and inspiring.

When it comes to disappointment, life treats
each one of us equally. No one lives a disap-
pointment-proof life. Disappointment, whether
with others or ourselves, is an age-old problem.

One third of the 150 Psalms are of lament
and petition. For example, David cried out:
“Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am in trou-
ble; My eye wastes away with grief, yes, my soul
and my body! For my life is spent with grief ”
(Psalm 31:9, 10). The apostle Paul expressed
disappointment: “For we do not want you to
be ignorant… of our trouble which came to

3
us:… we were burdened beyond measure, above
strength, so that we despaired even of life”
(2 Corinthians 1:8). The 17th-century British
philosopher Thomas Hobbes declared that
human living is “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish
and short.” Even the early 19th-century novel-
ist Charlotte Bronte lamented: “Why life is so
blank, brief and bitter, I do not know.”

Because disappointment comes to all and
can result in disillusionment and despair, it
is a vital life art to learn ways of managing
disappointment.

Here are some creative and effective ways of
helping yourself get through disappointment.

1 Let Anger Motivate You
Whenever disappointment strikes, one
of the immediate emotions is that of an-
ger. Remember that anger is an emotion which
can be used as a weapon of destruction, further
complicating our disappointment, or as a tool to
build a better situation. The truth is that anger
can drive us to act negatively or anger can be har-
nessed to work on our behalf. Martin Luther was

4
one who knew how to utilize his anger. Luther
wrote: “When I am angry, I can write, pray and
preach well, for then my whole temperament is
quickened, my understanding sharpened, and
all mundane vexations and temptations depart.”
Anger is natural following a disappointment, but
it can be released in a healthy, life-affirming way.
That was the path chosen by Candace Bracken.
The 25-year-old Miami, Florida resident had a
new baby and a new job. Then one day she began
hemorrhaging uncontrollably. Acute leukemia
was diagnosed, and Bracken was given two
weeks to live.

After the initial shock began to subside, she
became very angry. “I had taken care of my-
self, lived a straight and narrow life. Things like
this weren’t supposed to happen to people like
me,” she said. Then, she just gave up on life and
withdrew. When a doctor told her she needed
to arrange for someone to care for her daughter,
Bracken snapped. “How dare you tell me to find
someone else to raise my child,” she shouted.
But in that moment Bracken realized she had
a strong reason to fight for her life. Her anger,
formerly crippling, now energized her. It helped

5
see her through a harrowing, but ultimately suc-
cessful, bone marrow transplant.

2 Maximize Your Faith
When facing disappointment, minimize
despair and disillusionment by maximiz-
ing your faith. Utilize passages from Scripture
and other inspirational sources to help you re-
member that the love of God constantly sur-
rounds you. Recite and review these scriptures:
• Psalm 46:1—“God is our refuge and

strength, a very present help in trouble.”
• Psalm 46:10—“Be still and know that I am

God.”
• Romans 8:31—“If God is for us, who can

be against us?”
In addition, consider reviewing these types
of inspirational passages to help you maximize
your faith in God.

“Let nothing disturb you, let nothing fright-
en you; everything passes away except God;
God alone is sufficient.”

—St. Theresa (1515-1582)

6

�
“The light of God surrounds me,

The love of God enfolds me,
The power of God protects me,
The presence of God watches over me,
Wherever I am, God is.
—An Irish Prayer Card

�

Or, consider offering this prayer:
“Look upon us, O Lord,

and let all the darkness of our souls vanish
before the beams of Thy brightness.
Fill us with holy love,
and open to us the treasures of Thy wisdom.
All our desire is known unto Thee,
therefore, perfect what Thou has begun,
and what Thy Spirit has awakened us to ask
in prayer.
We seek Thy face,
turn Thy face unto us and show us
Thy glory.
Then shall our longing be satisfied,
and our peace shall be perfect.”

—St. Augustine of Hippo

7
Ask a Different Question
Another temptation when facing disap-

3 pointment is that of self-pity. It usually

comes through these questions: “Why did this
happen to me?” “How could he say that to me?”
“Why did she do that?” “How can I go on?” The
problem with such questions is that they focus
entirely on the negative. Try asking a different
question. Rather than focusing on, “What have
I lost?” ask, “What remains and where can I go
from here?” A change of question often results
in a change of perspective. Rephrasing our
questions allows us to count the pluses, not the
minuses. Army Major Frederick Franks found
himself staring at a Christmas tree in his drab
hospital room. Although it was a season of joy,
Franks felt only sadness. Seven months earlier,
in May 1970, while he was in Cambodia, gre-
nade shrapnel had torn into the lower half of his
leg. Doctors were scheduled to amputate it.

Franks had graduated from West Point
where he was captain of the baseball team. He
planned to make the Army his career. Now dis-
charge seemed the only option. Although Franks
felt he still had a lot to offer the service—combat

8
experience, technical knowledge, an ability to
solve problems—he also knew that soldiers with
severe injuries seldom return to active duty.
They must pass a yearly physical-fitness test,
which includes a two-mile run or walk. Franks
wasn’t sure he would be able to do that with an
artificial leg.

After surgery, Franks was overwhelmed
with sadness over his loss. However, a weekly
baseball game helped him see his situation dif-
ferently. At those games, he batted but someone
else would run the bases for him. Waiting his
turn at bat, he watched a teammate slide into
third base. “What’s the worst thing that could
happen if I tried the same thing?” he asked him-
self. While at bat, Franks hit the ball into center
field. Waving away his runner, he began a pain-
ful, stiff-legged jog. He got past first base; and
then seeing the outfield throw the ball toward
the second baseman, Franks slid headfirst into
second. The umpire called “Safe!” and Franks
smiled triumphantly. Franks remained in the
army, rising in rank to become a four-star gen-
eral. “Losing a leg has taught me that a limita-
tion is as big or small as you make it,” he says.

9
“The key is to concentrate on what you have,
not what you don’t have.”

4 Look for the Silver Lining
The apostle Paul declares: “that all things
work together for good to those who love
God” (Romans 8:28). There are two sides to ev-
ery disappointment. There is despair and hope;
there is fear and faith; there is bad and good.
Look for the silver lining in any disappoint-
ment which comes your way. Rabbi Harold
Kushner, author of the best-selling book, When
Bad Things Happen To Good People, wrote that
book after his son, Aaron, died at 14 of pro-
geria, a rare disorder that causes premature
physical deterioration. Looking back upon that
painful time in his life, Rabbi Kushner says,
“disappointment teaches you something about
your strength and acquaints you with your lim-
itations. That’s an important part of maturity.
If I had not gone through the experience of my
son’s illness and death, I’m sure I would have
had a more intellectual, less compassionate ap-
proach to other people’s misfortunes. It was a
high price to pay, but it has made me a much

10

deeper, more helpful person than I would have
been otherwise.”

5
Choose to See Yourself
as an Overcomer
Life does send great disappointments, but
people are greater than their disappointments.
See yourself as an overcomer. See yourself as one
who can rise above disappointment. Our self-
image strongly determines what we become.
The story is told of a fabulously wealthy king
who had a son whom he adored. The boy was
bright, handsome and perfect in every way—
except one: the youth had a severely hunched
back. This deeply saddened the king, so he of-
fered a huge reward for the person who could
heal the boy’s back. Wise men and women with
good ideas traveled to the palace from all over
the kingdom. But, months and months passed
without a solution.

Then one day a tiny, elderly woman hap-
pened to be visiting the kingdom and heard
about the problem. “I don’t want your reward,”
said the tiny, elderly woman, “but I do have your
answer.” This was her advice: “In the center of

11
the courtyard you must construct a sculpture—
an exact replica of your dear son, with one ex-
ception: its back must be straight and lovely in
appearance. That’s all. Pray and trust God for
the healing.”

With that offered, the woman left the king-
dom and the king’s artisans set to work. Soon
a beautiful marble sculpture sat in the center
of the courtyard. Every day, as the little boy
played, he was in the presence of the figure.
He grew to admire it and came to realize that
it was a replica of himself. Each day the prince
gazed lovingly at the sculpture, gradually iden-
tifying with the tall, erect person it presented.
Bit by bit, the boy’s back straightened. About a
year later, as the king watched his son frolick-
ing in the courtyard, he suddenly noticed the
prince’s back was totally healed. The young
boy’s identification with the marble sculpture
had been so complete that he believed it and
saw himself as he could be—straight and tall.
The lesson in that story: our life is what our
thoughts make of it, so we must choose to see
ourselves as overcomers; people who rise above
their disappointments.

12
Don’t Quit
Earlier in the century, Ignace Jan

6 Paderewski, the famous composer-pia-

nist, was scheduled to perform at a great con-
cert hall in America. Although it was a black
tie event, complete with tuxedos and formal
evening dresses, present in that high society
event was a mother with her fidgety nine-year-
old son. Weary of waiting, he squirmed con-
stantly in his seat. The mother brought him in
the hopes that her son would be encouraged to
practice the piano if he could just hear the world
renown genius at the keyboard. So, against her
son’s wishes, she insisted he attend the concert.

While she was preoccupied talking with
friends, her son slipped away where he was
drawn to the ebony concert grand Steinway,
complete with its leather tufted stool on the huge
stage floor. Without much notice from the audi-
ence, the boy sat down at the piano and began
to play “chopsticks.” The roar of the crowd was
hushed as hundreds of frowning faces pointed
in his direction. Irritated and annoyed, they be-
gan to shout: “Get that boy away from there!”
“Who brought that kid in here?” “Where are

13

his parents?” “Somebody stop him.” Backstage,
Paderewski overheard the commotion and
rushed toward the stage. Without one word of
announcement, he stooped over behind the boy,
reached around both sides, and began to impro-
vise a countermelody to harmonize with and en-
hance “chopsticks.” As the two of them played to-
gether, Paderewski kept whispering in the boy’s
ear: “Keep going. Don’t quit. Keep on playing…
don’t stop… don’t quit!”

That’s the way it is with us as we deal with
disappointment and seek to generate hope. We
need to hammer away on our projects, issues
and crises, which may seem as insignificant as
“chopsticks” in a great concert hall. Yet, just as
we are tempted to give up, the Master comes at
just the right time whispering: “Keep going…
don’t quit!” And then, the Master is able to
use what we are doing to improvise and create
something new, something beautiful, some-
thing most unexpected but most delightful.

***
So, practice patience. Disappointments often
come suddenly but recovering from them takes
longer. We need to allow ourselves sufficient

14
time for the hurt to heal and the wound to mend.
We need to allow sufficient time for God’s work
in our lives to become complete.

The apostle Peter reminds us: “But may the
God of all grace, who called us to His eternal
glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a
while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle
you” (1 Peter 5:10). The great hymn writer,
Fanny J. Crosby, put it this way:

“Chords that were broken will
vibrate once more.”

Other titles available in
the Peacefinder book series:

You Can Stop Smoking
Addiction Free
Ten Ways to Improve Your Marriage
A Dozen Ways to Defeat Loneliness
Hope in Times of Trouble
Money Management
Stress Management
Survival Tips for Single Parenting
Successful Parenting
Living with Loss
The Healing of Sorrow
Life After Death
Medical Miracle
Gentle Ways to Ease Depression

To order additional titles, visit our online

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