The Saga of Tanya the Evil Volume 3

Afterword

To everyone who picked up Volume 3, long time no see. I’m terribly ashamed
to have kept you waiting this long. And to the heroes here for the first time,
who have purchased all three books at once, may you have a bright future on
“this side.”

Anyhow, this is for a limited time only, but you can download an audio drama
—an audio drama! Wow. Unless I’m constantly hallucinating without realizing
it, you may already be enjoying that content now.

Surprisingly, it can be said that everything went according to schedule (per an
announcement from General HQ). Last time, my productivity was hindered by
that “east-side company” and their malicious interference in what Clausewitz
would call “friction.” This time, with no such malicious interference, things went
accordingly…things went according to schedule.

Actually, I’m even ahead of schedule, aren’t I? Even though it’s fall, I’m writing
this in my room with not my heater but the AC on.

This is not a lie. At the time of this writing, the temperature is a ridiculous
eighty-three degrees Fahrenheit.

Let me explain. My manuscript and real life overlapped with each other, and
it was an extremely bitter fight. Having gotten through it, I headed jauntily for
the airfield and quietly boarded a plane to the United States. I was so proud of
myself for successfully balancing my manuscript and real life that I was happy-
go-lucky.

Then as I was chilling in the American South, suffering from the gastric strain
of American-sized food portions, I saw news of a terrorist attack in Canada.
What the heck? I reached for my tablet to check a news site, when Oh? I had a
new e-mail. I opened it with warm fuzzies, wondering who was concerned for

my safety, and was shocked.

It was an e-mail telling me to write an afterword by [X-Day]! Oh my God.

So it is that I’m coming to you, banging away on my keyboard, thinking, It
wasn’t supposed to be this way, from where I’m staying in the southern United
States. I imagine that by the time you get this volume in your hands I’ll be back
on Japanese soil. <Maybe.>

Humans are always falling into the same trap when they accomplish
something. I feel like I must have been taught the importance of vigilance, how
the most dangerous moment is when you think you’ve defeated your enemy. In
other words, this is what I get for forgetting the proverb “One must tighten
one’s helmet straps even after a win.”

And so, I’ve realized that I need to reflect on the things I’ve done.

For example, how about that wonderful beach scene I delivered as promised?
Now I feel nothing but regret for how ingratiating it was. Though it was a desire
imparted to me by you, the readers, I am doing some serious, gentlemanly
reflection on whether I might not have been too true to desire and worldly
passions. Wondering if I will be scolded, I am unable to face my conscience. This
is a book for good citizens with an established reputation as a wholesome
novel, so next time I’ll try to portray things a bit more moralistically.

I hope you’ll forgive me for this volume’s unscrupulousness.

I am leaning toward giving you my word that I will deliver Volume 4 at
blitzkrieg speed (compared to previous efforts), and I swear to you now, though
it’s only a personal promise, that I will make my decision as soon as possible.

Last but not least, thanks to Tsubakiya Design who did the great design, the
proofers who worked with me on all the obnoxious proofing, the team who
combined their powers to make the audio drama, and many, many others.

November 2014 Carlo Zen

1 HALO drop A type of parachute drop. If you consider a basic drop as
descending to your destination with your parachute open, the HALO style has
you jumping from outside of visual confirmation range (around ten thousand
meters up) and opening the parachute around three hundred meters from the
ground so your parachute isn’t as conspicuous.

2 restitutio in integrum A diplomatic idiom that means “restoration to the
original state.” Specifically, it calls for a return to the pre-conflict status quo, so
in this case it would mean reverting to prewar state lines and diplomatic
conventions.

3 revolving door One way to lure and exterminate an enemy. For details, see
the diagrams at the back of the book.

4 Horatius From the Roman legend, “Horatius at the Bridge.” The story goes
that Horatius and his friends blocked the enemy trying to enter the city while
having others take the bridge down.

5 Dunkirked You let your enemy get away, and on top of that, they come
back, mount a counter operation, and eventually defeat you. A textbook
example of that scenario.

6 Cannae The greatest instance of an encirclement and annihilation carried
out by the famous Carthaginian general Hannibal. A landmark in military
history. Hannibal is so Hannibal. He probably would have won if he hadn’t been
up against Rome.

7 John Bull spirit An indomitable sarcastic spirit of taking both sports and war
very seriously. Just their food is no good.

8 Spaghetti Monster A being possessing great intelligence. So noble that even
atheist scholars believe. RAmen.

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