FULLBOOK_ESPOLON-FINAL-nocropsmarks

DEATH

1 DEATH

2 EDSEPAOTHLON

n Mexico, the appreciation for life Guadalupe Posada, a political cartoonist
goes hand-in-hand with an equally and artist, whose iconic drawings during the
devout respect for death. Mexican Revolution would become the coun-
try’s beloved, quintessential representations
Death is not something to be of death. It is his artwork that inspires the
feared, but rather a rite of passage, striking design of our Espolon Tequila labels.
welcomed with a smile and a grin. Literary calaveras are still alive today.
This belief plays out in a variety of
vibrant mediums throughout our Every year, at the end of October, Mex-
culture and is most powerfully on icans take to newspapers, radio and even
display during Día de Muertos — television to share witty (and often biting)
the Day of the Dead. poems poking fun at their (still living) loved
ones’ shortcomings, ultimately culminating
The magazine in your hands pays in their comical demise. They are a sign of
homage to the writing of literary calaveras Mexican creativity and irreverence, and a
(or “calaveritas”), a creative Day of the Dead friendly reminder of our own mortality.
art form that began to appear in the second
half of the 19th century. Simply put, these are In the spirit of Day of the Dead, we’re hon-
illustrated poems, but with a deadly twist. oring Posada and all the loved ones who’ve
What began as satirical obituaries aimed at crossed over, with this custom publication
the Mexican high society of the early 1900s, featuring modern calaveras penned by some
quickly evolved into a longstanding Day of of today’s rising literary stars and pop culture
the Dead tradition. personalities, many of whom come from the
Mexican-American and Latinx communities.
The rise of this style of poetry is intrin- Heard print was dead? Sounds delightful.
sically linked to the brilliant work of José

-Espolon Tequila

On the Cover
Photograph by: Timothy Saccenti

Illustration by: Scott Campbell

We have to give credit where credit is due: The views,
thoughts, opinions and visuals expressed in this publi-
cation belong solely to our wonderful cast of writers and

illustrators and not to Espolon Tequila.

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2 DEATH
2 ESPOLON

ESPDOELAOTHN 3

CONTENTS

01 06 09
A NOTE CONTRIBUTORS CALAVERA
FROM ESPOLON CARTOON
14
12 COVER 16
TO DIE FOR: FEATURE CALAVERITAS
2019 COLLECTION
43
40 AFTERLIFE 46
STYLE LIBATIONS DEATH
ROUNDUP HOROSCOPES

4 DESEPAOTHLON

ESPDOELAOTNH 5

CONTRIBUTORS

Suzy Exposito E.R. Pulgar Dada Coz
is a writer, illustrator and is a Venezuelan-American is an Afro-Latina futurist
pretty okay witch. She poet and music critic living performing artist from the
is the Latin music editor in New York City. He is cur- Bronx NYC and a member
at Rolling Stone, and has rently working on his debut, of BRUJAS, a skatewear
contributed to Pitchfork, a long poem about water, design house in the age
NPR and Revolver. You can fluid sexuality and Latinx of unrest.
follow her on Twitter immigrant identity tenta-
at @HexPositive. tively titled Scenes From a Bricia Lopez
Bath. His music and culture is a Oaxaca native living
Melissa Lozada-Oliva writing can be found on i-D, in Los Angeles. She is
is the author of peluda Remezcla, Billboard and the co-owner of a Oaxa-
(Button Poetry 2017) and elsewhere. can restaurant, author of
co-host of podcast Say Oaxaca: Home Cooking
More with Olivia Gatwood. David Garcia From the Heart of Mexico,
Her work has been fea- is a Mexican-American co-founder of I Love Miche-
tured or is forthcoming in creative writer and brand ladas michelada mix and
Redivider, Muzzle Maga- strategist, currently “living co-host of Super Mamas
zine, Remezcla, The Adroit the California-burrito podcast.
Journal, BreakBeat Poets, dream in San Francisco.”
and BBC Mundo. She lives
in Brooklyn.

6 EDSEPAOTHLON

Mishel Prada Caitlin Doughty Valeria the
Born to a Dominican is a mortician, activ- Mexican Witch
mother and Mexican ist and funeral industry A self-proclaimed Chi-
father, Mishel Prada rabble-rouser. Her books, cana bruja, Valeria Ruelas
stars as Emma in Starz’s Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, is a natural intuitive who
ground-breaking drama From Here to Eternity and inherited her gifts from her
series Vida, which centers Will My Cat Eat My Eye- great-grandmother and
on two Mexican-Ameri- balls? were all New York others from her family’s
can sisters from East Los Times bestsellers. long line of folk healers.
Angeles and tackles topics Possessing a gift for read-
like gentrification, queer- Valentina ing tarot and making astro-
ness and Latinx identity. A star of RuPaul's Drag Race logical predictions, she was
In addition to acting, Prada and Fox's production of Rent named one of the most
is a founding member of Live!, Valentina has made a “influential witches of Insta-
Damarosa, a female art tremendous impact in and gram” by Cosmopolitan (for
collective founded by Britt out of the drag world where whom she also authored
Bogan, which seeks to cel- she got her start. Recognized a book, Love Potions), and
ebrate the significant role for her attention to detail, her has also been featured in
of women throughout art, examples of Latinx excellence, outlets like i-D and Teen
literature and politics, while her beauty and her visual vo- Vogue. Based in New Or-
also spotlighting a new cabulary, Valentina’s artistry is leans, she is the founding
generation of influential second to none. An inspiration priestess of The Feminist
female voices. to millions of fans around the Church of La Santa Muerte
world, Valentina has garnered and she performs rituals,
the attention of publications readings and healings for
like Vogue, Billboard, PAPER people all over
and others. the world.

ESPDOELAOTNH 7

8 DEATH
8 ESPOLON

CALAVERA CARTOON

"So much for global warming. I’m chilled to the bone."

ESPDOELAOTNH 9

10 1E0SPDOEALOTHN

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To Die For
2019

Our annual altar trend report
rounding up the hottest
items to offer in tribute
THIS SEASON.

Oat Milk – After a long journey from the after- Rainbow Bagel – Kick things up a notch by adding pops of fun and
life, give your ancestors the strength to party all festive color to your soulful snacks with the addition of this year’s hot-
night long by starting them off with this year’s test item—the rainbow bagel. A swirling array of vibrant hues take the
biggest beverage trend — oat milk. Forgo the form of a carb-lover’s dream in this heavenly rendition of a household
milk of old and give your loved ones the best staple. Stylish sustenance is the way of the future. There, we said it.
money can buy. But be prepared to spend — this Actually, you’ll probably want to stock up— we have a feeling they’ll
couture cup of calcium ain’t cheap. be taking some for the road.

12 DESEPAOTHLON Gluten-Free Pan
de Muerto – Always
a little behind on
trends (and, REAL-
LY, who can blame
them?), the afterlife is
just now being swept
up in the gluten-free
frenzy. So this year,
show your loved
ones you really care
with a health-con-
scious alternative to
a traditional staple–
gluten-free pan de
muerto. It’s a simple,
yet thoughtful, up-
grade that anyone
can do. Trust us, go
gluten-free or get
ghosted.

Copal Candles – This year, free up some space and combine
two altar staples into one chic, chic, chic game changer – the
copal candle. These luxe luminaries feature wood-burning
wicks that throw sparks dramatically upward, releasing the

refined scent of copal, said to smell like bones, into the air.

There’s really no need for further explanation.

Digital Picture Frame – One of the best things about this special Goldleaf Florals – In 2019, the altar isn’t finished until
day is reminiscing about all the great times that were had with you’ve put the GOLD in (or should we say, on) marigolds.
Gold leafing has taken Pinterest by storm, and even your
the people we love most. This season you can spark even more arrangements aren’t safe. Adding accents of gold to the
bushels of marigolds adorning the altar seems to be all the
memories with the inclusion of a new rechargeable digital picture rage this holiday – and we must say, we’re fans. Classy,
cheap, and easy – Count. Us. In.
frame that can rotate up to 250 images on a high definition 1080p
DEATH 13
display – that’s a lot of memories in HD. You can also AirDrop to the
afterlife with these babies, so be sure to pick up multiples – they
make great (de)parting gifts.

THE BUG IN
OUR POCKETS

POEM BY MIGUEL ILLUSTRATION BY SCOTT CAMPBELL

It saved all our searches To tapping and scrolling
It stored all our Likes all night for no sleep
It heard conversations To ad after ad,
Even followed our eyes We say our goodbyes
All our pictures and videos We bury today
In clouds we can’t find Not just a phone,
(Those clouds can be mined. But a tracking device.
They won’t ask if you mind)
To dinners w friends, heads
down in our screens

Over the last decade, Miguel has established Widely hailed as one of the most talented
himself as a consummate artist who is un- hands in the world of tattooing, Louisi-
afraid to follow his creative impulses, wher- ana-born Scott Campbell originally studied
ever they may lead him. His Grammy-winning to become a biochemist at the University of
“Adorn” was RIAA certified 2x Platinum and Texas before fleeing to San Francisco where
is just one of his 12 songs to hit the Billboard he learned to ink at Picture Machine, one of
Hot 100. the oldest shops in California. He now owns
Saved Tattoo in Williamsburg, Brooklyn,
As the recipient of 10 Grammy nomi- whose client list includes the likes of Marc
nations, it’s no surprise Miguel’s last two Jacobs, Orlando Bloom, Penelope Cruz and
albums debuted at #1 on Billboard’s R&B more. In recent years, he’s branched out to
Albums Chart, with his last album, Wildheart, fine art, producing intricately carved sculp-
debuting at #2 on Billboard's top 200 al- tures made out of US currency, a series of
bums. This past spring, Miguel released Te Lo watercolor paintings based on his experi-
Dije, a Spanish-language EP that nods to his ences during a six-week stay in a maximum
Mexican heritage. security prison in Mexico City and graphite
drawings done on the insides of eggshells.
Boasting a resume full of solo hits, as well
as collaborations with Mariah Carey, Usher,
J. Cole, Travis Scott, and A$AP Rocky among
others, Miguel has proven himself to be one
of R&B's most sonic visionaries.

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DEATH 15

FUNERAL
INDUSTRIAL

COMPLEX

POEM BY CAITLIN DOUGHTY
ILLUSTRATION BY ESQUE

Death came for my dad,
and that really sucks,

We launched a GoFundMe
for twelve thousand bucks.

The funeral director
told us that was the cost,

Anything less,
all dignity was lost.

“Consider please,
what your father wants,”
he intoned, while showing

us headstone fonts.
If dad were here,

what would he have said?
“Cremate me dummies —

throw a party instead.”

16 DEATH

ON
BODYWORK

POEM BY VALENTINA
ILLUSTRATION BY ESQUE

Went down south,
arriba, abajo, al centro,
y pa' dentro at the party.
Saw a couple doctors.
Do you like my new body?

DEATH 17

IRONY
IS OVER

POEM BY MELISSA LOZADA-OLIVA
ILLUSTRATION BY DIEGO ANDRADE

We all have to say
“I love you” instead.
Gone are the bad shirts
& fake gifts from airports.
The bit is really done,
now & all the edgelords are dead.
No more explaining away hate
speech with pompous retorts.
No more being a misogynist
racist homophobe on purpose.
The memes & the threads
are starting to rot.
The stand-up specials
are totally worthless.
So tell me it’s good to
see me & mean it!
Tell me I look nice today & that’s all!
I no longer turn my
bad day into a skit.
I say what I mean now.
I do not let myself feel small.

18 DEATH

HOMBRE
QUEMANDO

POEM BY DADA COZ
ILLUSTRATION BY ESQUE

La Playa pilgrims, we lay you to rest.
Played out yuppie festival rejects?
Dryer than the desert itself.
We place your ashes on a shelf.

DEATH 19

KNOCK
KNOCK

POEM BY CAITLIN DOUGHTY
ILLUSTRATION BY ESQUE

The reaper came knocking,
a scythe in her hand,
With a stylish green cape,
for black was too bland.
I couldn’t see her face,
hidden from the light,
But I knew she had
come to take me tonight.
I flashed on the thoughts
I wish I had said!
Now all for naught,
since I’m good as dead.
“What about my things?”
I begged where I stood,
as the reaper slowly
pulled back her hood.
“Take your time,” she said,
“and bring a little sweater.”
Before leaving me a moment,
to get my sh*t together.

20 DEATH

CALAVERA
FOR DAIRY

POEM BY MELISSA LOZADA-OLIVA
ILLUSTRATION BY DIEGO ANDRADE

We were never really I could never resist your custard,
made for each other, or the whipped cream
& that’s hard for me to say. or the crackers with brie.
You’ve left & I’ve found another. For these I lost
Oat, soy, hemp, cashew myself & became flustered.
— my alternative buffet. But time & time again
you betrayed me.
I guess I wish you a simple afterlife,
living inside the cow’s teat, Here’s to the grilled cheeses that
peaceful & not packed with strife were better than sex.
drained only for a calf to eat. Here’s to you, O white one.
My problematic fav.
My late night secret.
My ultimate ex.

DEATH 21

POUR
ONE OUT
FOR THE
DEATH OF
FAKE NEWS

POEM BY ESPOLON TEQUILA
ILLUSTRATION BY DIEGO ANDRADE

22 DEATH

Fake news, that cunning deceiver “Americans unite against news
infected society, like a viral fever. that is bought, join with us now —
He targeted feeds, there’s a foe to be fought.”
consumed every scroll. And boy did they rally,
With intent to mislead, they came together.
fueled by foreign payroll. Took knife to the cord of
fake news, to sever.
But there stood a foe And with a big snip,
he just couldn’t match. the power was cut.
Real journalism — yes, Death to fake news,
the best of the batch. connection shut.
Towering giants of verified news
Publishing facts, not just Citizens hailed the
what they choose. purveyor of truth, for helping
to expose the slippery sleuth.
They did not shy away, Fake news is canceled,
give up or back down. it’s lost all its sway.
They exposed and uncovered But still be sure to
and rallied the town. cross-check, okay?

DEATH 23

DEATH
OF JACK

POEM BY DAVID GARCIA
ILLUSTRATION BY DIEGO ANDRADE

Jack was given life,
by knife thrust through his eyes.
A fire-filled grin,
how he made children cry.
After the ‘Ween,
Mr. O’Lantern met his demise.
As he was swiftly made,
into sweet pumpkin pie.

24 DEATH

OVERNIGHT
PIMPLE

POEM BY FERNANDA FLORES
ILLUSTRATION BY DIEGO ANDRADE

He came overnight
I didn’t notice, at first.
Yet the mirror, my friend,
said I had something to burst.
And then there he was,
I could see nothing more.
So I clasped its neck tight,
well, I’ll spare you the gore.
But now he’s out of my life,
nothing some touch up can’t handle.
Overnighter be gone,
death to the vandal.

DEATH 25

PARACHUTE
PANTS

POEM BY SUZY EXPOSITO
ILLUSTRATION BY MICAH ULRICH

The e-girls found
our parachute pants
Olde mallgoth garb of Y2K
But as the world gets hotter, now
their gangly legs will bake away

26 DEATH

CHEAP It’s been said your tacos
MEXICAN FOOD should be a dollar
But we’ve come too far,
POEM BY BRICIA LOPEZ we’ve fought too long
ILLUSTRATION BY MICAH ULRICH They’ve tasted
And it’s obvi they want more
Some want to build a wall
Some want to keep us out
So let them earn tacos
and let them pay
Out with the dólar
In with the Benjis

DEATH 27

28 DEATH

'90S
NOSTALGIA

POEM BY FERNANDA FLORES
ILLUSTRATION BY DIEGO ANDRADE

Nearly twenty years on and still
looking back,
to mom jeans, flannels,
scrunchies, and Zack.

Why are the runways,
streets, screens and feeds
still filled with these pesky
undying, weeds.

I long for the days
of futurist thinkers.
Beyond gimmicks and pandering
and tired dad sneakers.

Douse the garments in pesticide.
Hack up this old trend.
And build a pyre for all.
Light it up.

The end.

Let the fanny packs burn.
Please, let ’em go.
So we can get on with adulting.
Remember,

You reap what you sow.

DEATH 29

CALAVERA
FOR THE VIBE

POEM BY MELISSA LOZADA-OLIVA
ILLUSTRATION BY ESQUE

Ya we just thought
The Vibe was a little off?
But like, The Vibe is totes
& most definitely dead ….
My bad, my dude. It’s all our fault!
It’s all because of what we said.
We had to bring up race, class
& the failing economy :(
We had to bring in that stinky
breeze of dread.
It’s true, we killed you with honesty.
When you wanted to just
chillax & let loose instead.

The Live Laugh Love Hammocks
have blown away.
The What's-the-Big-Deal
bevvys are gone.
Ciao to the Just
Relax-Ladies Beach day
& the Optimist Flamingos
on the lawn.

It’s just hard to chat
about the weather
when we’re standing in a flood.
It’s just tough to enjoy the party
when the drinks are made of mud.

Peace out, my dude.
Hope heaven is suuuuper chill ;)
Sorry but not sorry
for bringing up all the stuff again.
Sorry but not sorry
for being a little "shrill."

30 DEATH

RIP
INFLUENCERS

POEM BY VALENTINA ILLUSTRATION BY DIEGO ANDRADE

I see you on the gram
trying so hard to influence me

But try again sis
nobody wants that type of T

If I do want a refreshment
it'll be an agua fresca
horchata, jamaica,

or maybe even limón y menta
As we work our way up,

don't work to pull us down
We all have our dreams,
now hand me my crown

DEATH 31

CALAVERA
FOR A GHOST

POEM BY E.R. PULGAR
ILLUSTRATION BY DIEGO ANDRADE

Online you looked so handsome
It was you I wanted most
But if we’re talking IRL
I waited for a ghost.
Not because you clearly

Didn’t tan at Riis this summer;
You just simply didn’t show

But don’t worry — it's no bummer.
Wasn’t planning on a date

I’d like to return my texts to sender
Because, I just got a few winks
From a very cute bartender.

32 DEATH

DOUBT
NASTIES

POEM BY MISHEL PRADA
ILLUSTRATION BY MICAH ULRICH

Doubt Nasties crept in again last night.
Under the door,
through my nose
to commence their usual plight.

With their green little eyes
and their stinky brown snouts,
shaking their nasty tails
blaring their music of doubt.

“You’re prolly no good
and your art kinda stinks!
Your breath’s pretty bad.
Go take a swim. AND SINK!”

So I grabbed my sweet voice
and took to their necks.
Blasted their faces
with smiles and love pecks.

DEATH 33

34 DEATH

DEAD CELEBRITY
HOLOGRAMS

POEM BY SUZY EXPOSITO ILLUSTRATION BY MICAH ULRICH

In life they made their labels rich
In death they do the same
Projections in a stadium
They'll never sleep again
Grave-robbers of the millennium
Necrocapital enterprise
Pull the plug on the hologram
Let stars rest their eyes

DEATH 35

ON
STOLEN PHONES

POEM BY VALENTINA
ILLUSTRATION BY DIEGO ANDRADE

Out at the club
You slipped into my pocket

Grabbed my phone
Damn, I thought I had locked it
Now you have my texts, my snaps,

and my nudes
¡Ay ay ay!

¡That's it with these dudes!

36 DEATH

FREE
RANGE
ORGANIC
CORPSE

POEM BY CAITLIN DOUGHTY
ILLUSTRATION BY ESQUE

A tisket, a tasket,
I don’t want a casket.

After sloughing this mortal coil,
Dump my body straight in the soil.

A casket will only slow me down,
In my quest to become one with the
ground.

Promise that you’ll keep me free,
So I can start becoming a tree.

DEATH 37

A SPELL TO PETITION
SANTA MUERTE FOR
WORLD PEACE

POEM BY VALERIA THE WITCH ILLUSTRATION BY ESQUE

The Mexican people
all know a leyenda
of a pretty bony lady
we call our ancestra.

Late at night she walks
in our cemeteries.
Guarding the lands of the
indigenous people for centuries.

On November 1st,
this magical Mexican lady listens.
She grants the wishes
and spells of faithful witches.

Today gran madre
I recite you a spell,
I chant to my cauldron,
copal and my shells.

Please save our people,
our dear planet earth
Help us find peace,
relief and rebirth.

I ask you great mother
while down on my knees,
that there be no gun violence,
no cutting down trees.
That there be no threats
to Brown and Black lives.
That quickly out of this
racist, transphobic era our
generation will rise.

38 DEATH

ANSWER: 5

HOW MANY ESPOLON BOTTLES CAN YOU FIND?

DEATH 39

DOTD #OOTD

40 DEATH

We took a look at social media feeds in the afterlife and it looks
like Day of the Dead came early this year. La Catrina’s influence
on influencer feeds is springing up everywhere — and we are here
for it. Take a look at some of our favorite sartorial skeletons serving
tradition with a twist.

ESPDOELAOTNH 41

42 DEATH

AfterLife
Libations

We’ve rounded up some of our favorite cocktails to sip while saluting your ancestors this Day of the Dead.
Check out the recipes below and be sure to keep the altar fully stocked.

AÑEJO OLD ESPOLOMA MEXICAN MULE
FASHIONED
GATHER IT GATHER IT
GATHER IT 2 parts Espolòn Blanco 1 1/2 parts Espolòn Reposado
2 parts Espolòn Añejo
1/2 part Agave Nectar 1 part Lime Juice 1/2 part Lime Juice
1 dash of Angostura Bitters Grapefruit Soda Ginger Beer
1 dash of Orange Bitters Pinch of Sea Salt
MAKE IT
MAKE IT MAKE IT Combine in a mule cup
Build in an Old Fashioned Combine in a highball glass
glass over one large ice cube. on the rocks and top
Garnish with an orange peel. on the rocks and top with ginger beer.
with grapefruit soda.
Garnish with a lime wheel. Garnish with a lime wedge

ESPDOELAOTNH 43

44 DESEPAOTHLON

ESPDOELAOTNH 45

AFTERLIFE HORRORSCOPES

In honor of Day of the Dead, we’ve tapped our favorite afterlife astrologist to give insight into where we’ll be after the casket closes. In
life, our signs color our energies but it appears in death, they curate our lifestyle. Check out these forecasts for a sneak peek at all that
awaits when we depart the mortal realm.

Aries — Though this may sound like torture to Taurus — Get ready to rest in peace. Sweet Gemini — There is a little-known street in
some, your after-lifestyle will be one big post- seclusion, nature and great food await you as the afterlife that boasts the hottest shops,
life parkour adventure — and you’re going to you become the sole proprietor of a high-end boutiques and museums (think Fifth Ave.
love every eternal second of it. Never one to be hideaway, where you control the guest list. of the great beyond) and that’s where we’ll
Well, you control everything — naturally. Sur- find you. Flittering from buzzy boutiques to
confined to the casket, your afterlife will be a rounded by the finest linens and housewares, bustling coffee shops, rattling bones with
with beautiful scenic views that extend for the latest gossip, there’s truly no killing your
revolving door of new activities and experienc- miles, you’ll curate your days exactly how you social — and shopping — game.
want them. Without a naysayer in sight. Finally.
es. One thing you will not be: bored to death.

Libra — Balance is the mantra and beauty the Scorpio — The dark, sensuous souls of the Sagittarius — Wanderlust becomes your new
standard. The Libra afterlife can only mean afterlife, Scorpios reign supreme when the reality as you embark on an eternal road trip.
one thing: spending an eternity in a peace- lights go out. The master of ceremonies at (No, really, it’s going to go on for eternity.) You’ll
ful locale in a commuter town. Striking the all the most talked-about after-after parties, be lapping up the open air as you take in all the
your eternal nights will be so lively, you’ll beautiful sights the afterlife has to offer. Spending
harmonious balance of vibrant daily chatter forget you’re dead. Oh, and you’ll also be your days in serenity, you might even think it’s all
rubbing elbows with the biggest VIPs the a dream. So get your canteen, pack your casket,
in surrounding cities mixed with peaceful, century has seen — but you already knew and charge the electric vehicle — you’re in for
that. Greatness breeds greatness after all. the joyride of your (after)life.
solemn nights looking out over your quiet

village, you’ll be questioning whether this

is the afterlife or THE life.

46 DEATH

Cancer — Get ready for that family slide show Leo — Within the afterlife there is a glowing Virgo — Never one to be told what to do, you’ll
to keep on ticking...forever. You know those utopia where arts and culture thrive. Here be planning your own future. Let’s be real —
family reunions that seem to go on and on and you’d rather die again than have another soul
on? Well, welcome to your eternity. You’ll be the sun always shines, galleries and amphi-
living it up with your nearest and dearest, sur- plan your post-life itinerary. What if they don’t
rounded by the comforts of your former home theaters abound and like-minded creatives account for all possibilities? Nope. You will
and every relative that ever took hold of your flourish. Amidst this dynamic sea of color and
family tree. Every. Single. One. Even Great Aunt only be happy if you set the course and plan
Rosita. But you’ll love it, of course, being the curation, you’ll be found painting, writing,
familial soul you are. your days — and that’s exactly what you will
singing, speaking — the lot. You know the be doing. Whatever you want, whenever you
saying “All the world’s a stage”? Well, now
want. Free to plan, and overplan, as you please.
it is, and you’re going to slay it.

Capricorn — The CEOs of the afterlife, you Aquarius — Always at the epicenter of social Pisces — Little known fact: The afterlife
won’t meet an after-corn who isn’t running gatherings, your naturally congenial post- boasts a shoreline to die for, and there’s a
something. For you motivated status seekers, life existence will be filled with a revolving beachside bungalow waiting just for you. Get
“sleep when you’re dead” just doesn’t apply. For ready to spend your days oscillating between
you, being deceased simply means less time exchange of new ideas as you greet and wel- free diving for hours — who needs air now?
wasted on things like eating or hydrating. When — and exploring a lush, endless coastline. But
not tied up selling off your latest startup, you’ll come the daily influx of new after(life)-party don’t stray far, it really does go on for eternity.
be making your presence known at all the high guests. Think of yourself as the cruise director
society events. Death really does become you. ESDPDEOEALATOTHNH 47
of the underworld, always on and always

entertaining.

48 DESEPAOTHLON