TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS - Heuer Publishing Co

TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS

TEN MINUTE PLAY

BASED ON THE SHORT STORY BY O. HENRY

By Robert Frankel

Copyright © MMV by Robert Frankel
All Rights Reserved

Heuer Publishing LLC, Cedar Rapids, Iowa

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Ten Thousand Dollars by Robert Frankel
Copyright © MMV by Robert Frankel

TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS
By Robert Frankel

SYNOPSIS: Spendthrift Bobby Gillian’s uncle has died, leaving him ten
thousand dollars. As the old man had been worth millions, the bequest has
come as a surprise, and Bobby is at a loss as to how to spend the money. He
asks a friend, Bryson, who advises him to spend the money in his usual
squandering fashion, but Bobby finds himself giving the money to his
uncle’s ward, who has received an even stingier gift. When Bobby goes to
his uncle’s lawyers with an accounting of his spending, they reveal a
surprising addendum to his uncle’s will.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

TOLMAN (M) ................................An attorney.
BOBBY GILLIAN (M) ..................A young, incorrigibly amiable man.
BRYSON (M) .................................GILLIAN’s irritable friend.
LOTTA LAURIERE (F).................An actress and GILLIAN’s lady friend.
CABBIE (M/F) ...............................A cab driver.
MISS HAYDEN (F)........................The young ward of GILLIAN’s late

uncle.

SET

A law office sits stage right, designated simply by a nice desk and two
chairs, one on either side. Stage left is a living room, designated by a wing
chair with a lamp nearby. Later in the play, stage right becomes an actress’
dressing room, center stage becomes a taxi, and stage right reverts to the
lawyer’s office.

CASTING NOTES

O. Henry wrote in the early 1900’s, a time of transition from stereotypical
cowboys and hobos to emerging technology. With this transition as a
background to many of his stories, they were often male-heavy. Having said
that, I am certainly open to any attempts you may wish to make at turning

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Ten Thousand Dollars by Robert Frankel
Copyright © MMV by Robert Frankel

hobos into women and conmen into con-women! Clearly double-casting of
the actors is also possible.

The Love Potion of Ikey Schoenstein Males Females Either
Ulysses and the Dogman 2 -- --
2 -- 1
The Caliph, the Cupid and the Clock 2 -- 1
Modern Rural Sports 3 -- --
Ten Thousand Dollars 3 2 --
Proof of the Pudding 2 -- --

From the Author…
Like many of you, I grew up on O. Henry short stories. His flair for
language – “No man existed who had money enough to wear so bad a hat as
his.” – his use of malapropisms – “He hit his head and lost
conscientiousness.” – and his observations on life – “Life is made up of sobs
sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating.” – were manna to me.

And so, with the growth of interest in the “ten-minute play,” it was natural
for me to turn to O. Henry’s short stories and look to turn them into “short
plays.” Here then, are six of his classics which, when bound together,
should give your audiences (and your actors) a one-hour glimpse into O.
Henry’s way with a word, penchant with a pen, and authoritative
ascendancy with alliteration. Where necessary for understanding, I’ve
updated his language or varied the circumstances slightly. But where
possible, I’ve left his characters as they were originally crafted – with even
the simplest hobo having the utmost in dignity.

And the reason I loved reading O. Henry most? His vaunted surprise
endings!

Enjoy,
Rob Frankel

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Ten Thousand Dollars by Robert Frankel
Copyright © MMV by Robert Frankel

AT RISE: GILLIAN, a younger,
Attorney TOLMAN sits behind the desk.
amiable man sits opposite him.

TOLMAN: Ten thousand dollars . . . and here is the money. (Hands
GILLIAN an envelope, who takes it reluctantly.)

GILLIAN: It's such an awkward amount. If it had been a hundred
thousand, a fellow might be able to buy a lot of fireworks and do
himself some good. Even fifty bucks would be less trouble.
(TOLMAN hesitates, looks at his watch.)

TOLMAN: You heard what his servants and his ward, Miss Hayden,
received? A seal ring and one hundred dollars.

GILLIAN: Absurd.
TOLMAN: Best be grateful for what you’ve got. Now, you heard the

reading of your uncle's will, but I don't know how much you
listened to the details, so I’ll have to remind you of one of them.
The will stipulates that you must render an account of the manner
of the expenditure of this $10,000 as soon as you have disposed
of it. I assume you'll comply?
GILLIAN: You can depend on it.

They rise and shake hands. GILLIAN moves DS a few steps and
stops, shaking his head amiably. Lights out USR.

GILLIAN: Ten thousand dollars . . .

After a moment, GILLIAN heads USL. BRYSON is seated in a very
comfortable wing chair with lamp nearby, dozing with a book in lap.

GILLIAN: Wake up, Bryson. I have a funny story to tell you.
BRYSON: (Rousing irritably.) I wish you would tell it to someone in

the dining room. You know how I hate your stories.
GILLIAN: (Jovially.) This is a better one than usual. I've just come

from my late uncle's team of attorneys. He's left me an even ten
thousand dollars. Now, what can a man possibly do with ten
thousand dollars?

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Ten Thousand Dollars by Robert Frankel
Copyright © MMV by Robert Frankel

BRYSON: I thought old Septimus Gillian was worth some tens of
millions.

GILLIAN: He was, and that's where the joke comes in. Part of it
goes to some man who's inventing a new bacteria and the rest to
establish a hospital for doing away with it again! He's also given
a seal ring and $100 to his butler and housekeeper - can you
imagine? And his only nephew . . . (Patting the envelope in his
pocket) . . . gets ten thousand dollars.

BRYSON: You've always had plenty of money to spend.
GILLIAN: Tons. Uncle was the fairy godmother as far as allowance

was concerned. I've no complaints. Just strange . . .
BRYSON: Any other heirs?
GILLIAN: None. There is a Miss Hayden, a ward of my uncle, who

lived in his house. A quiet thing, musical, daughter of somebody
who was unlucky enough to be his friend. She was in for the
seal-ring-and-$100 joke, too. I wish I was. Then I could've
bought a couple of bottles of the finest bubbly, tipped the waiter
with the ring and been done with it. Don't be superior and
insulting, old Bryson - tell me what a fellow can do with ten
thousand dollars?

BRYSON smiles derisively as he polishes his glasses.

BRYSON: Ten thousand dollars can mean much or little. One man
might buy a shed to live in and laugh at Rockefeller. Another
could send his wife to southern climes and save her life. Ten
thousand dollars could buy milk for one hundred babies
somewhere for a year and save their lives. (Leaning in, with
sarcasm.) Or you could rent Madison Square Garden for a night
and lecture your audience, if you should have one, on the
profession of "heir presumption"!

GILLIAN: (Teasing.) People might like you, Bryson, if you wouldn't
moralize so much. I asked you to tell me what I could do with ten
thousand dollars.

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Ten Thousand Dollars by Robert Frankel
Copyright © MMV by Robert Frankel

BRYSON: (Laughing.) You? Why, Bobby Gillian, there's only one
logical thing you could do with ten thousand dollars. You can buy
that actress you enjoy, Miss Lotta Lauriere, a diamond pendant.
And then take yourself off to Idaho and inflict your presence on a
ranch. I advise you to pick a sheep ranch, as I have a particular
dislike for sheep.

GILLIAN: (Laughing.) Thanks. I knew I could depend on you!
That's just what I'll do.

He heads DSR. Lights up DSR, revealing LOTTA, in costume,
putting on stage makeup in front of a mirror.

LOTTA: Now what is it, Bobby? I'm going on in two minutes.
GILLIAN: (Pointing out a spot.) Pancake your right ear a little. (She

does, with irritation.) Better. It won't take two minutes for me.
What do you say to a little thing in the pendant line? Say,
something worth four zeroes with a one in the front?
LOTTA: Oh, sure. Did you see the necklace Della Stacey had on the
other night? $4400 it cost at Tiffany's! But, of course -
OFFSTAGE VOICE: Miss Lauriere for the opening chorus!
LOTTA: Oh!

She waves perfunctorily to GILLIAN and exits. He smiles and strolls
CS, hand up to flag a cab. Lights down DSR and up CS. CABBIE
arrives with two chairs. GILLIAN sits in one, behind "passenger seat"
as CABBIE awaits his directions.

GILLIAN: (After a moment.) Say, what would you do with ten
thousand dollars if you had it?

CABBIE: Me? Open a bar. I know a place where I could rake in the
money with both hands. It's a four-story brick on a corner. If you
was thinking of putting up the -

GILLIAN: Oh, no, no. I merely asked out of curiosity. Please drive
until I tell you to stop.

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Ten Thousand Dollars by Robert Frankel
Copyright © MMV by Robert Frankel

CABBIE shakes head disgustedly and begins to drive. The CS lights
slowly fade. GILLIAN gets out and hesitates. Lights up DSC. MISS
HAYDEN, about GILLIAN's age, appears DSL, looking out to
audience. GILLIAN steps DSC.

GILLIAN: (Smiling adoringly.) Miss Hayden.
MISS HAYDEN: (Smiling fondly, innocently.) Mr. Gillian.
GILLIAN: Allison. What will you do now? All you have is a seal ring

and a hundred -
MISS HAYDEN: (Holding up a hand.) I'll do. I'll do, Mr. Gillian, and

on my own, thank you.

He contemplates this for a moment.

GILLIAN: I've just come from old Tolman's, uncle's attorney?
They've been going over the papers down there. They found a,
uh, an amendment or a postscript or something to the will. It
seems that the old boy loosened up a bit on second thought and
willed you ten thousand dollars. I was driving up this way, and
Tolman asked me to bring you the money. Here it is. You'd
better count it to see if it's right.

MISS HAYDEN takes the money in shock and happy surprise.

MISS HAYDEN: Oh! Oh, my!

GILLIAN watches her happily for a moment.

GILLIAN: (In lower voice.) I suppose, of course, that you know I love
you.

MISS HAYDEN: I am sorry, Mr. Gillian.
GILLIAN: There is no use? At all?
MISS HAYDEN: I . . . am sorry.
GILLIAN: (With brave cheeriness.) Then I wish you a good day,

Miss Hayden.
MISS HAYDEN: (Sympathetically.) And a very good day to you, Mr.

Gillian.
-7–

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Ten Thousand Dollars by Robert Frankel
Copyright © MMV by Robert Frankel

He bows and she exits. GILLIAN withdraws a pen and paper from his
pocket, and scribbles a note on it. Then he pockets the pen and
heads DSR back to the law office. Lights DOWN CS and up DSR.
TOLMAN is at his desk as GILLIAN enters.

GILLIAN: (Tossing the paper on his desk.) You'll find there a
memorandum of the modus operandi of the vanishing ten
thousand dollars. Good day, Mr. Tolman.

TOLMAN: Just one minute, Mr. Gillian. There was a codicil to your
uncle's will, entrusted to me privately until such time as you had
disposed of and accounted for the ten thousand dollars. In the
event that the disposal of the money in question has been
prudent, wise, or unselfish, it is in my power to hand over to you
stocks and bonds in the amount of eight point five million dollars.
(GILLIAN listens wide-eyed.) But if - as our client, your uncle,
feared - you have used this money as you have used money in
the past . . . (Reads from a piece of paper.) . . . I quote, "In
reprehensible dissipation among disreputable associates . . . "
(Puts paper down.) . . . then the eight point five million dollars
shall go to his ward, Miss Allison Hayden, without delay. I will
now examine your accounting of the expenditures. I trust you will
have confidence in my decision. (TOLMAN reaches for the paper
which GILLIAN has tossed on the desk. GILLIAN beats him to it,
grabs it, and begins to tear it up.)

GILLIAN: (Sighing.) It's alright. You needn't bother with this. I don't
suppose you'd understand these itemized bets, anyway. I lost the
ten thousand dollars at the races. Good day, Mr. Tolman.

TOLMAN shakes his head as if to say, "Too bad," as GILLIAN turns
DS to the audience and smiles.

BLACKOUT.

THE END

-8–
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