8THE GIFT AND THE CURSE

THE JEFF JACKSON STORY

Jeff Jackson (baseball)

FromWilopedaa, lhe tree encyclopedia

Jeffrey Jackson (born January 2, 1972 In Chicago. IIII001s) ls a lormer proteSSk>nal baseball player who won the GatOfade High SChool
Basebafl Player ol the vear Award fn 1989. He later pm.yed In minor league baseball lor nine seasons.

Draft and professional career I eo;q

Jackson was dratted by the Philadelphia Phlllles in the first round (lourth overa!Q of the 1989 Ma,or League Baseball Oran out of Simeon
career Academy. He began hts professional career that season, hitting .227 In 48 games lor the Marunsvtlle Phllbes. In 1990, he hit .198
in 63 games With the BataVlil Ctippers, and in 1991 he hit .225 in 121 games With the Spartanburg Ph11hes.
He spin 1992 between 1he Cleaiwater Phllhes (79 games) and Reading Phlllles (36 games). hitting a combined .227 in us games. He
spen1 all ol 1993 and 1994 with Reading, hitting .238 In 113 games in 1993 and .177 In 47 games In 1994.
He did no1 play In 1995. In 1996, Jackson returned to organized baseball. playing fOf the Will County Cheelahs of the independent
Heartland League and ror the Daytona Cubs in the Chicago Cubs organization. He hit .300 In 26 games overall. In 1997. he played ror
the Cheetahs again, hmmg .303 with 13 home runs in 64 games.
In 1998. Jackson spent 26 games with the Lynchburg H1llca1S in the P1nsburgh P1rates system. as well as 15 games with the Fatgo.
Moorhead RedHawks ol lhe Independent Northern League and 26 games with the Massachuseus Mad Dogs ot the Independent
Northeast League. He hit a combined .227 in 69 games. 1998 was in final season.
0vefall. Jackson hlt .234 in 666 minor league games.111

Screenshot of my Wikipedia page detailing my career and how many games I played in professionally

07ill512016 9 50PM

Hey buddy for some reason u have been on mind. 1
hope all ,s well brotha also I have a random
question to ask you that has been on my mmd for a
min do u recall telhng me that the devil was trymg
to destroy me or my baseball career ,t so I need you
to elaborate a hi more because how 1rornc that 1
played e><actly 666 professional baseball games m
my career and when I saw that on W1k1ped1a 1
1mmed1atety thought about what you said anyhow
u probably dont remember telhng me that or 1m 1ust
tr1ppmg but any how bro hope all 1s well God
bless 1

07,'06/2016 10 �SAM

Call me Jeff
i do remember

A Screenshot of the conversation between me and Angel about the incident he told me about the devil
trying to destroy me...

Top:Wikipedia page created about me
Bottom: Facebook conversation with Angel.

151







THE JEFF JACKSON STORY
The party was beginning to wind down, some people were
leaving, some people were not, and I was standing with the girl
I was interested in.
Maahra happened to walk up to say bye to this particular
girl. I immediately stopped talking to the girl, and asked
Maahra if she was leaving.
She told me she had to leave because she had to go to work
in the morning.
I asked Maahra to walk her to her car.
She said sure. so, I did! As they say, the rest was history.
We would try to date at that point, on and off for a few
months.
One of our first dates is one we still laugh about.

Maahra and I in San Francisco. In the picture she is 6 months
pregnant with our daughter Asia

155

MAAHRA- MY LIFESAVE

Maahra and I at home, pictured at 9 months
pregnant with our daughter Asia

156

Maahra isn't the type of girl you can just say anything to, and
though it would get on my nerve sometimes; I have
always been attracted to her headstrong ways.

At the time, she lived on the north side of Chicago, and
one night she invited me over to watch movies. Maahra had let
me know she didn't cook and I decided that I order some
Chinese food.

But, instead of ordering chinese food on the north side of
town so that it could be hot. I, without thinking, ordered
the food on the south side where I lived, and so the food was
cold when I arrived to her house.

I jokingly told Maahra that she should go warm up the food,
"As it was the least she could do since she didn't cook".

She took offense to that. Without hesitation, she told me to
get my food and GET OUT!
She said that to Jeff Jackson, wow!
Two weeks later she would call and apologize. We would go
back to dating on and off again.

She was different than what I was used to dating.
Maahra was the only child from a well to do family who had

her own apartment with nice decor and set up.
She had her own car.
She was ambitious and worked as a General Manager of a

Lens Crafter.
Really, I never admitted this to her ever, but she upgraded

me, unlike any other woman I had dated before.
She had her stuff together.
In fact, when my parents began to hint that it was time for

me to make some transitions, to grow up a bit, and perhaps

leave home, it was Maahra’s home that I moved into. She
helped make the transition from baseball easy for me and
that's why she is important to my baseball career and my life.

It is not that she cared at all about baseball. In fact, she
didn’t want to date me at first because I did play baseball. She
could care less and was not impressed.

She was a lifesaver for me, I have to admit. I was mentally
sick from my entire ordeal with baseball, and she was there at
the tail end of it to help me pick up the pieces. I had a pattern
of making women my outlet, it was true. Maahra
developed into something more. Our relationship lasted ten
years and we would have a beautiful daughter named Asia.
We are still great friends and hang-out as a family until this
day.

We would break up for all the typical reasons and
mostly due to my actions. Maahra was always trying to get
me to do the right thing, but I was still the same old damaged
Jeff.

I took my issues everywhere with me. We moved a few
times throughout Illinois, eventually settling in L.A. This
is where Maahra wanted to pursue her acting career and I
could be the new Jeff, with dreadlocks, and less noticeable
to those who wanted to identify me by the young man
they saw on baseball cards, and countless newspaper
articles.

That particular guy, the baseball, Jeff, did not
have dreadlocks. The baseball, Jeff couldn’t be caught
working a regular job in Chicago, or anywhere in Illinois
without being ridiculed or met with cameras. It would be too
embarrassing.

The new Jeff in L.A. had dreadlocks, and no one was
looking for him. Hell, I wasn't even looking for him. I was
looking for a new me and a place to allow that transition to
happen with whatever humbling experiences that need to take
place.

Life had changed.
I didn’t know the process of me growing dreadlocks was the
beginning of my preparation to leave Chicago, leave
baseball, and disappear into an unidentifiable new me.

I would not return to Chicago for 10 years, not even to
see Momma.

Momma would move on to Kansas City before I saw
her again.



CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

MY WHY

"• J hy would I write this book now? You might ask!

\'I' I moved from Chic ago and have been in Los Angeles

now for about 15 years.
It has taken me this long to work through the pain, the guilt,

the shame, the self-pity and the self-blame. I carried
around these feelings for a while. I am now 46 years old
and tired of being frustrated and broke, and I don't mean
financially broke. I mean broke in spirit and mind.

For so many years I felt like I let down the entire cities of
Chicago and Philadelphia; plus my family, my friends, and
myself. L.A became my safe place.

161

I disappeared into life in L.A. determined just to be
"regular" Jeff and not the "Jeff Jackson" baseball star.

I could have started a career as a baseball coach or scout,
and make money off my name in baseball, but the pain was too
great, to bring that type of energy to a young baseball
player still full of hopes and dreams.

I could have pursued an acting career. Although we went to
L.A. for Maarha to pursue her acting career, Without even
trying, I was the first one to get an agent. I was simply sitting
in a salon getting my dreadlocs done one day, and
wondering why this particular white guy was staring at
me.

It turns out he was a legitimate commercial agent, he signed
me to a contract the first meeting I had with him at the office.

He tried his best for a whole year to send me to every audition
he could, almost daily. He sent me everywhere, from T.V.
commercials to a few T.V. pilots etc. The truth is I didn‟t take
being an actor seriously.

I had finally had a job at a high-end retail boutique in
Hollywood, my first real job ever in my life at age 31! I finally
had a way to get paid and take care of my daughter, and that
was my priority.

I didn't have any real opportunities other than baseball, and
right now Maxfield‟s was the most stable gig at the time.
I could have gone off and become a coach or scout
somewhere in baseball, but I didn't want that, at least not
then.

I needed simplicity. Acting would sort of put me back in
a spotlight that I had just left and hadn‟t quite healed from. So,
I didn't follow through on many of the auditions that
were scheduled for me. I wasn't in L.A. to be an actor; I was in
L.A. to disappear. After a year of me skipping out or
being a no-show for most of my auditions, my agent
eventually dropped me from the talent agency.

Honestly, I could have been a reality TV star.
In fact, I was up for three different reality shows at one
point. If you check the 2nd season website of the very
popular reality show „I Love New York 2', you would have
seen my face. They wanted me on that reality show badly
but the producers knew I wasn‟t attracted to the main
character called New York, during the interview process. I
said it very bluntly in many talks between us.

Instead, they used my image and a brief excerpt from an
interview I did with them, to help promote the show. I got
so much attention from that brief appearance, and so
many women sent me marriage proposals and sexy
invitations in what was then my MYSPACE account, that if I
never had any publicity again, I was good!

I chose to hide out for many years, working at
Maxfield‟s. Maxfield‟s was the high-end store I mentioned. It
was located in West Hollywood, where a lot of rich and famous
people like to shop.

And like every valued employee, I showed up each
scheduled day, I got my raise each year, and chose to let few

people know as little as possible about who I was
and about my baseball career.

I only told the hiring managers about my career during the
job interview. I had to explain why I never worked before and
why Maxfield‟s would be my first job. Otherwise, a 31-year-old
man who didn't have a job history would be assumed to be a
drug dealer, and I was not that!

It was the son of the owner‟s girlfriend who
discovered my baseball cards on the internet that brought my
popularity to Maxfield‟s. There was a rumor mill circulating
already about me being an ex-pro ballplayer, but when he
discovered my baseball cards on the Internet, that is
when people started bringing baseball cards to work to get
them signed.

For years, Maxfield‟s was my „incognito' place, they
always honored me as a valued employee and really helped
me transition back into the real world quietly, while getting my
life back together.

I would end up leaving the company after 7-8
years. Maxfield's was a great company, it was a great
experience, and I needed it.

Unfortunately, Maarha and I broke up and she would
eventually kick me out the house because I started up

the womanizing again, when we got to L.A.
Women were always my outlet.
And I wasn‟t finished yet.

THE JEFF JACKSON STORY

A picture of some recent fan mail

165

Maarha would eventually get tired of being my rock
and putting up with my continual ‘merry go round’
of a mess. I‟d end up “couch surfing” for a while.
Until I eventually found a roommate. I had that roommate
until he‟d commit to a relationship, and leave me to have a
nice place in the Hollywood area of Los Angeles all to myself.

It is in this alone time, in that very same apartment, over
the last few years, that I had to reflect on my life and come
face to face with my pain and my demons.

For years, I have dodged reporters who somehow found
my number to request interviews. I still receive letters
from fans who never let me forget what I meant to them or
my impact in baseball.

The request for my story never stopped, and the voice in me
began to want to be heard.

And then the time came.
People change when the pain of remaining the same
become too great.

My pain had become too great.
And I had to learn to forgive myself and love myself again
through the process of spiritual healing and prayer. This book
represents a lifted veil that now can expose me, show my true
self and tell my story, in my own words.
I needed to explain to so many fans, friends and family over
the years why my career had gone the way it did. I needed to
free myself from the burden of the blame, the guilt, and
the embarrassment. I needed to take apart and analyze
every dynamic that took part in making me into the man I am
today. I needed to heal.

THE JEFF JACKSON STORY
I was once told that there is healing in sharing your story,
freedom in revealing your truth.
This book represents my truth!
Now that the reader understands I am free and more healed
than ever before, I just want it understood that, if given an
opportunity, don't take advantage of it!
Work hard, have faith, and believe in yourself no matter
what people say. And seek counsel or a mentor or some sort. A
closed mouth does not get fed, and only you are responsible for
your healing, so get help!
I tell my children, "Don't be like me,be better than
me. Don't make the same mistakes I made!"
Your attitude will absolutely determine your altitude.

A picture I received from two of my younger fans

167

I had a chance to fly…
I soared…
But I dived…
Just make sure you do better!
I want my family, especially my children, Jeff and Asia,
friends, and fans to take something from this book that will
hopefully make them want to persevere through the hard times.
I never gave up.
I just switched gears.
I believe there are no coincidences. Everything happens for
a reason!
God intervenes. Who knows? If I had continued with
baseball, I'd probably be dead from a drug overdose or in jail.
I was living on the edge because I was under a lot of pressure
and was given a lot of responsibility at such an early age. I
had no outlet for help, or at least I thought.
I trust that I am here to survive, and even live life to the
fullest, and so should you!
When it's all said and done, I may have a few regrets, but I
wouldn't change a thing, I believe everything happens for a
reason. I have no ill feelings against anyone and accept full

responsibility for my part in how my career played out.
Baseball is a great sport with great players and great fans.
Baseball will always have its place in the fabric of America.
It served me as best it could….
To sum it all up, It was a gift and a curse!

THE JEFF JACKSON STORY

Me and my two kids Asia and Jeff Jr.

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