MY THOUGHTS - BY B S YADAV

EDITION: 2021



MY FIRST BLOG

Respected Gurus and my dear friends,

First of all I would like to thank Varun Gupta who forced me
to write my thoughts on this blog.

Also I would like this to be dedicated to my mother, my
grandfather, my wife Sangeeta, my sons Vishal and Vaibhav
and all my teachers and students from whom I have learned so
many things and I am proud of that.

There is a saying that nobody can teach others but at the same
time this is also equally true that everybody can learn.and if it
is so than the people around you are of paramount importance
as you learn the most from them.

I have been in the company of my students for the last more
than 28 years and this has been wonderful and very enriching
period of my life.

My grandfather inculcated in me the values which got space
to grow in the company of my students and my family. Today I
realize the importance of living with young kids and be as
innocent as they are. I firmly believe that if the national
character is to be built this can be done in the schools, hence
the school teachers, rather call them facilitators play a
significant role.

These are my thoughts which I have learnt during my on going
journey of learning more and are no universal facts. you may
not agree with that which is absolutely perfect and I would like
to be corrected for the betterment of my students.

I shall keep posting my random thoughts so that the same can
be used by individuals as per the requirement.

Once again lots of regards and love to all who helped me to
be what I am today.

Posted at Monday, December 13, 2010 8:21 Am



MY THOUGHTS - BLOGS

Pursuing Passion .......................................................................................................... 1
Assessing Assessment .............................................................................................. 4
Accountability - Difficult But Essential ................................................... 7
Success Is A Function Of Mindset.............................................................. 11
Divided No More ........................................................................................................... 15
Knowing, Teaching And Learning In Community ........................ 19
Selfhood, Truth And Paradoxes..................................................................... 23
Learning From The Year Gone By ............................................................... 27
We Are Debtors, Not Masters........................................................................... 31
Corruptio Optimi Pessima .................................................................................. 34
The Truth Of Lies ........................................................................................................ 37

PURSUING PASSION

When it comes to career advice, ‘follow your passion’ or do ‘what you are interested in’, seems
to be the order of the day. And while this slogan may be as popular as the sun - splashed across
books and magazines, heard in speeches and pep talks and vouched for by coaches and experts, it
may actually, in my opinion, not be a very sound notion.

Uncertainty and ambiguity that children, as also their parents face when it comes to making
decisions about ‘choosing the most befitting and right career option’ is not an unusual
phenomenon, most of us experience it. And with the current overemphasis on ‘letting children
follow their dreams’ making a choice that is both appropriate and practical can at times be tricky.
The solution to this probably lies in understanding what ‘interest’ really is.

Interest, as stated in the Merriam Webster dictionary is ‘a quality that attracts one’s attention and
makes one want to learn more about something or to be involved in something.’ The next question
then, is this ‘attraction’ or ‘liking’ necessarily inborn? Not always. Sure, some of us might be
interested in mechanics or astronomy from our younger days but a great deal of us develops it
when exposed to, or at times when, even by force, made to do something.

To quote real life examples, Olympians Neeraj Chopra and PR Sreejesh, during a recent episode
of KBC revealed that the initial reason why they started pursing their respective sport was nowhere
even close to any kind of an interest. For Neeraj Chopra it was his uncle’s decision and PR
Sreejesh started playing hockey in school to get grace marks. Another reason that was common
for both was losing weight. Point being, the recipe for success does not include ‘pre - existing
affinity’ as a determining ingredient, majorly because interest is something that can be developed,
sometimes simply by exposure to an unexplored field in the right manner and sometimes by the
virtue of a consciously inculcated habit.

This also gets me to define talent in the words of Roshan Abbas. In an interview when asked about
what talent meant to him, he described it with an example. “A person follows a routine of jogging
early morning every day. One morning it is raining and also he wakes up with a little bit of body
ache. If, keeping aside all the difficulties, he still goes out to complete his exercising, that for
Roshan Abbas (as also for me) is real talent”.

To elucidate, most people are unlikely to enjoy exercising or reading or eating salad from the very
beginning. But when we consciously decide to make these healthy choices a part of our lifestyle
and deliberately put in the required sincerity and effort, we, more often than not, end up acquiring
a taste for them and with time they subconsciously become an integral part of our everyday life,
at times even defining what we eventually become. For e.g., when one starts exercising, it is
generally difficult for the initial few days. We either shirk away or need to push ourselves to do
it. But subsequently when we start feeling the difference it makes, how it keeps us more energized,
active and lively throughout the day, it becomes a vital part of our daily routine, filled with interest
and enthusiasm; something that might even turn into a lifelong passion.

Having established, that interests change and can be developed, what now needs to be explored is
the extent of bearing, a pre - existing liking or interest will or will not have on defining how happy
and fulfilling a child’s career will turn out to be. I recall scenarios from 20 – 30 years ago when
the mainstream career options were limited and choices made were based on the child’s caliber
and scope of employability rather than just their liking for a particular field. People from that
generation did not have the luxury to switch fields as per their whims and fancies. Their lives were

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and are still based on virtues like commitment and hard work. And as you would all agree, people
from that generation have turned out to become not just thorough experts with successful careers
but have also been able to maintain work life balance, leading a content and richly experienced
life. I am in no way, trying to dismiss the role, appeal towards a particular field plays in
determining happiness and am definitely against pushing children to pursue a fields they detest or
do not understand. What I object to is the diminishing importance being given to factors like the
child’s real talents, abilities and the willingness to work hard. These are traits that cannot and
should not be replaced. Interest without hard work or talent will be as futile as being passionate
about fitness without the willingness or ability to put in the efforts to attain it.

There is most certainly nothing wrong in following one’s interests, but to make a career out of it
without taking other factors into consideration, can be catastrophic. The problem is that this advice
promises all things a person wants in life but shows no strategy on how to achieve them. It in fact
is based on a lot of wrong assumptions that create a false glorified image in the young minds,
much different from the real life ground realities.

Firstly, it simply assumes that our interests are limited to only one field and that will also remain
as is all our life, which is generally not the case. Human Beings are dynamic and are bound to
have more than one specific life interest. We evolve in every stage of our life and so do our
interests. Choosing a career based on a present day passion can not only be limiting but counter -
productive, as it leaves zero space for other passions to be uncovered.

Secondly, it assumes that children already know what their life - long interest will be. The
influence of peers and at times parents in determining a child’s interest is a pretty common
occurrence, it happens most times. Children might at one point in time feel that they are interested
in a certain thing simply because their best friends or peers or parents are interested in it, only to
later realize that such was not the case. Also in certain cases, children might not feel passionate
about anything specifically, simply because they’ve not been exposed to the field matching their
talents. Does this absence of initial interest make them unfit or incapable of building a successful
career? Absolutely not!

Thirdly, it gives the impression that there is a ‘dream job’ waiting in the wings that the child will
chance upon organically and with ease. This in my opinion is one of the most deluding
assumptions and also the driving force behind why children these days find it hard to commit to a
particular workplace. When parents and elders give children the liberty to hop from one field to
another in the blink of an eye, without them putting in fair amount of effort and toil, they assuage
the importance of hard work and loyalty. Children then believe that the path to success will be a
convenient joy filled ride, making them averse to struggles and adjustments.

I here would like to quote the example of Mr Prakash Iyer – a corporate giant and ace leadership
coach. In the beginning of his career, Mr Iyer was certain that he wanted to pursue advertising.
But as luck would have it, he had to choose a job in ‘sales’ over a one in ‘advertising’ as that was
the only financially viable option. It was only when he started exploring the sales field, did he
realize how he is equally suitable for it and eventually developed interest in it. He then made a
conscious decision to stick to the field he wasn’t very sure of knowing it fully well the hard work
and adjustments that would come his way, only to lead him where he is today.

Another example that comes to my mind is Olympian Imtiaz Anees. Before becoming an
equestrian, Mr Anees had tried his hand at various other sports. Owing to his royal family
background, he had an early exposure to horse riding, and learnt it since the age of 4, but wasn’t

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very keen on taking it up as a career. So he began exploring other fields like athletics and
swimming, only to realize that that even with all his passion and hard work, he couldn’t perform
sufficiently well. It was only when his coach, Daina Wilson also a friend of his mother began his
focused training in riding horses, did his talent and hard work align to lead him to his present day
successes.
I would thus like to conclude by quoting Barkha Dutt,”You should love what you do and love it
to madness.” It is perfectly normal, in fact pretty common, ending up passionate about something
you consciously, without any prior interest, decided to pursue. The problem usually comes in
starting with a pre - existing passion and then looking for a job without taking other important
factors into consideration. Such a notion gives an illusion that one should start enjoying work from
the very first day, which in most cases, does not happen.
A rather more practical advice would be to commit to learning and re – learning what energizes
you and what drains you. And then dedicating to what highlights your true talents and aligning it
with something that also has the possibility to spark your interest
. To sum up I would say, choosing a career based on recognizing one’s talents and substantiating
it with conscious & continuous hard work would definitely be a better advice. ‘Follow your
Interest’ overrates the importance of pre – existing liking in building a successful career, when in
fact interest can actually be developed. Even if it something interest you all that much in the
beginning, never rule out the possibility of subsequently falling madly in love with it, without
giving it a fair chance. What I would like to advise parents, teachers and young children is to
understand and pursue their passion with determination, hard work, discipline and enjoyment and
not just because somebody else had done well in a particular field.

-Posted on Monday, September 27, 2021

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ASSESSING ASSESSMENT

The beginning of schooling or formal education is an important event, not only in a child’s life
but also in the lives of the parents. Rigorous research and contemplation over multiple parameters
for assessing various options precedes the decision making of narrowing down on a few ‘good’
pre - primary schools. The next stage consists of preparing the child (and also parents in some
cases) to ‘crack the entrance test’. Those who are able to clear more than one test have an upper
hand - the liberty of choosing a school of their preference.

A sequence of similar events may generally also be associated with a lot of things in life -getting
into schools, colleges, universities, jobs, starting a business, getting a loan, etc. Assessments are
an integral part of our daily life – definitely more structured for students but equally constitutive
of our professional and personal lives. But do we really understand the meaning and purpose of
assessments?

Brown's definition of assessments, which apparently looks simple, has a significantly deep
meaning, really struck me. He defined assessment as, “any systematic basis for making
inferences about characteristics of people, usually based on various sources of evidence; the global
process of synthesizing information about individuals in order to understand and describe them
better.”

So the way I understand it, from a teacher’s point of view, assessments are or at least should be,
based on the premise of recognizing the assesse`s personality – strengths, virtues and merits; with
the aim to hone the positives, overcome the shortfalls thus ultimately leading to a roadmap of
progress. Unfortunately assessments in our current educational system are synonymous with rote
learning and competing with peers rather than ourselves.

I remember the times when securing first division was reason enough for parent’s to feel proud
and teachers were not under constant pressure of giving inflated marks to boost a child’s or their
parent’s morale. Inconsistencies between marks scored by a child in school (especially board
exams) and a college admission test or a competitive exam were certainly not a common
occurrence. Point simply being, that our assessment techniques and to a certain extent even our
teaching techniques in schools may need to be rethought.

‘Santiniketan’ – Rabindranath Tagore’s experimental school and our age old Gurukuls are
epitomes offering inspiration and lessons of joyful and creative learning – joining dots between
children’s education and real lives. Gurudev Tagore once wrote a short story on the education
system. ‘A little bird was fluttering about happily – until a king noticed it. The king ordered
that the bird needed to be taught properly. What followed was a long painful procrustean
sequence of events: A golden cage, textbooks and batons. The education industry thrived;
the bird did not. Its throat was so completely choked with the leaves from the books that it
could neither whistle nor whisper. Eventually the bird fluttered to the floor of the cage and
died.’ The story sends chills down my spine for I am afraid for our children ending up like the
bird.

Classes at Santiniketan were primarily held outdoors, under trees, in the open where children were
not cramped inside small schoolrooms throughout the day – offering them a flavour of mother
Earth and its beauties in well ventilated spaces. What our children have been experiencing for the
last eighteen months – staying locked up within ‘safe walls for medical reasons’ and the toll it has
taken on their eyes, weight, agility and overall physical as well as psychological health, is a

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painfully disturbing issue. I understand that the paucity of information about COVID 19 virus had
left us with no other option but to immediately shut down schools during March – April 2020. But
we haven’t made any significant progress since then. Many countries worked towards it and then
opened schools with required safety measures. But in our case, even after the medical fraternity
advising that children are less likely to be at risk, a handful of journalists and people with selfish
political motives have been opposing and crying foul against reopening of schools in the name of
safety. What is worrisome is our inability to see the psychological damages which will, without
an iota of doubt lead to serious physical problems that this decision of keeping children away from
schools is causing.

Although, allowing the reopening of schools in certain states may be seen as the beginning of the
end of that problem, what must also be well thought of are our post pandemic classrooms. Gurudev
Tagore believed that ‘the highest education is that which does not merely give us information but
makes our life in harmony with all existence.’ He believed in making learning fun, by providing
an environment that was stimulating. And we today have no reason good enough to not follow his
philosophies. In my opinion, the reopening of our schools will be inept, a mere formality unless
we are willing to really open up our education system.

The NEP 2020 emphasizes on giving students the freedom and flexibility to carry forward and
integrate credits across various courses. An idea worth much appreciation. But before we
implement that we shouldn’t forget that in these last eighteen months that our children have been
away from classrooms, they have been promoted to next classes without proper exams and not
much leaning. Without exams may be fine, but without learning is an issue sadly not much people
are talking about. In my opinion, the one thing we should consider incorporating to tackle this gap
of learning is a flexible assessment system which will reflect the true progress of a pupil.

Assessments are usually three types –

1. Assessment as learning

2. Assessment for learning

3. Assessment of learning

A mix of the above three exists in our system today. What needs to be rethought is the weightage
given to each. Currently the most amount of importance is given to the third one i.e. assessing
how much the child knows. Whereas in my opinion, what should really be assessed is a child’s
progress i.e. the child’s performance in an exam be treated as learning – something to reflect on
and monitor to keep a track of improvement.

Our current system is very rigid; we work on the assumption of ‘one size fits all’. Learning has
turned into mere accumulation of information; a pre requisite to achieve pre decided goals. Even
educators these days consider children empty vessels that ought to be filled with more information
than what they can process. And grades have simply become a reflection of their capacity to
memorize the information. In simple words, the significance of creativity and original ideas has
been replaced with quantum of facts. The concept of every child being unique seems to have lost
its existence. And that is the only explanation I can think of for us to believe that our current
system is fair and justifiable.

Children are innocent and impressionable beings – each a special package with varied learning
styles and different acumen and aptitudes. Yet our education system feels it appropriate to judge
them on the same yardstick. Moreover we boast that our education system is actually helping and

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preparing students to face real life challenges. What I do not understand is, in which world is
imperfection non - existent? We are all flawed; God has made us that way. Why then are we so
obsessed with high scores in exams that we lead our children into believing that their shortcomings
is a sign of failure, something to be ashamed of, something socially unacceptable. Why can we
not let them make their own mistakes and concentrate on helping them overcome those instead of
punishing them for it? Why can we not let them learn at their own pace and put an end to unhealthy
peer pressure? Learning should not be a burden, it should be liberating. Being a good student
should not be equated to scoring high grades; rather it should be based on a child’s ability and
intend to thrive.
Assessments and the evolution of their formats seem to shed some light on how our convenience
has become more important to us. For example, the MCQs - easy to administer, easy to attempt
and easy to examine. But does this format not inadvertently make our children believe that there
is only one correct answer for each question? Life doesn’t work that way. Our real life problems
do not come with four options to choose from; neither do they have a single, fixed, sure shot
correct answer. Thus, putting children in situations which will make them believe otherwise and
condition their mind to function in that manner is, in my opinion, highly counter - productive.
Therefore for our assessments to really become the bridge between teaching and learning, they
should be aligned with real life goals, measure what really matters and be fair. Why then do we
not consider basing our verdicts about a child’s progress on their rough work and practice
notebooks? And why should we not consider changing the nomenclature of ‘fail’ or ‘repeat’ to
something more positive like ‘revamping’ or ‘amelioration’?
To conclude I would like to quote from an article ‘Mistake Mystique’ by R Buckminster Fuller, I
recently read. There the author talks about how in our current system, teachers, professors, etc
look for errors in a student’s exam answer sheets and allot marks in the ratio of percentage of
mistakes to the percentage of correctly remembered concepts. But further, he suggests an
alteration of this practice and instead make students periodically report a written account of their
mistakes not only regarding the course subject but also their self - discipline during the term, while
also recording what they have learned from the recognition of their mistakes. This will encourage
them to find their own mistakes and report the depth of their learning – showcasing a true state of
their progress. This way mistakes will become moral boosters and stepping stones for
learning, rather than a matter of shame.

-Posted on Saturday, August 28, 2021

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ACCOUNTABILITY - DIFFICULT BUT ESSENTIAL

“जीवन की एक बड़ी ववडम्बना यह है वक हम सदा दसू रो के कायों को देखते ह,ै उनकी समालोचना करते हैं । कभी न अपने ववचारों और कायों पर दृवि
डालते ह,ंै न उनका आकलन करते ह,ै बवकक हम हमशे ा स्वयं को सही मानते हैं । अपने इस अहकं ार की मार हम पूरे उम्र खाते हैं ।” – Shri Gulab
Kothari Ji in Raj Patrika

(One of the greatest ironies of life is we always look at the actions of others and criticize them.
We never introspect nor do we assess our actions and thoughts and always consider ourselves
right. And this arrogance holds us back, all our life)

A student at the Ambedkar University Delhi was recently stopped from taking her final semester
exams till she paid fine for derogatory remarks posted by her against the CM and state Education
Minister during the university’s online convocation ceremony. Following which, the Education
Minister reached out to the university to cancel the fine, stating that ‘no student should be punished
for exercising their right to free speech within the university space.’ This step was highly
welcomed by student bodies and fundamental rights activists alike.

The concept of Human Rights is foundational to a society’s growth and wellbeing. It is what
makes us civil and aims at providing a dignified life to all. But incidents like these make me
wonder if today, amidst this growing obsession with ‘rights’, all we are left with is little or no
capacity to understand and appreciate the concept of ‘accountability and its consequences’. I am
in no way against an individual’s basic rights and neither am I, an advocator of punishment as a
corrective tool; also, I firmly believe that institutes should be safe spaces for students to freely
voice their opinion, debate and develop points of view but I also understand that for true progress,
building a culture of accountability is integral.

The word accountability is neither unfamiliar nor unexplored. Yet, its understanding is rather
slender; we pre dominantly limit it to the armed forces, corporate work culture or workplace ethics,
and this is why we fail to realize its importance. Accountability is a behavioral characteristic, a
quality where the person takes full responsibility of his / her actions – all the actions, good or bad,
right or wrong, foolish or wise, and understands the consequences attached. Sounds simple,
doesn’t it? Why then do we more often than not, fail to behave accountably? It is because our
entire race finds holding someone else responsible, especially for our own wrongdoings,
convenient.

So, when a mother wrongly or by chance says something to a child that the child does not like and
misbehaves, an obvious justification would be ‘it was the child’s reaction to an unfair treatment’.
But if we understand accountability, we will understand that misbehavior is misbehavior, and it
cannot be justified as a reaction to someone else’s wrongdoings. In this case, the mother is
responsible for her wrong actions and the child for his. Similarly, when elected honorable
members create a ruckus in parliament/assembly meetings and justify their behavior by saying
`when they were in opposition, things were worse`, it is them being obnoxiously unaccountable.
Because not one party or front is going to rule forever, hence is it justified to behave in a manner
which they do not approve today?

The shameful act of Draupadi’s cheer-haran was justified by Kauravas as an act to avenge
insult meted out to them. Kans, on his deathbed justified his intentions and attempts to kill
Lord Krishna as the only way to prevent his own assassination. He even justified
imperialism and his acts of harassment as a reaction to the injustice and discrimination

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that, as a child, he and his mother were subjected to by his own clan and the general
populace. The list of examples of unaccountable behavior, even from our mythological
teachings is long enough. But the bottom line is, as Lord Krishna said-

“व्यवि चाहे वजतना भी महान हो, व्यवि पर हुआ अन्याय चाहे वजतना भी वनष्ठुर हो, तब भी वकसी सामर्थययवान व्यवि को अपना एकावि
कार स्थावपत करने का अविकार नहीं जाता। एक अन्याय का सामना उससे बड़े अन्याय द्वारा नहीं वकया जाता।“

(No matter how great or capable a person is or however cruel the injustice done to him may be,
even then, nothing gives him the right to establish his lordship and rule over others. Responding
to an injustice by a more severe one is wrong and potentially fatal)

Thus, meaning that this vicious cycle of reactions to immoral and unfair behavior will only lead
to anarchy, because an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind. And we might not always
be lucky enough to find Pandavas or Lord Krishna help re – establish the order.

Being accountable is thus, understanding that our life – the decisions and choices we make,
including the choice of sometimes not making a decision, are fully our responsibility. A lot of you
would be thinking of ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ already and honestly that is a natural reaction; it is probably
the way we are wired. But in reality, each one of us knows when we have done something wrong
or not done something that we promised to. For e.g., if a teacher is unable to manage the class,
he/she might blame children for that, when in reality it is his/her own inability not to have
controlled the class. The children should be held accountable for their behavior but teachers
should not forget their action. This is applicable in reverse also. If we introspect and consider self
as accountable then nobody will need to look for reasons outside but within. I am not saying that
the children who do not behave well in the class are not to be corrected. They should also be held
accountable for their behavior. And the teacher should also be accountable for his/her own
disposition. Though our reaction to mistakes can manifest in many ways, the productive one will
be wherein we own up to our shortcomings and resort to corrective actions. The other ways will
make us seek to cover up or feel incompetent and ultimately behave defensive.

For e.g., in the event of a fine levied on the student from AUD, she felt it was unfair as she was
one among the many who posted nasty comments. And imposing a fine only on her made her feel
like being picked on, resulting in a defensive behavior. The government authorities waived off the
fine, calling her behavior ‘exercising Freedom to Speech and Expression’. What I do not
understand is the university fined her because she resorted to an ‘out of place’ behavior. And
clearly, being one among the many does not reduce her accountability or give her the right to act
self - justifying. Why then was there a need for this ‘Freedom to Speech and Expression’ angle to
the entire incident?

In my opinion, what actually got waived was a consequence of wrongful behavior, turning her
into an unaccountable citizen. I agree that exercising a right is important, but what is more
important is learning to exercise it productively. And not to take sides with any particular political
party, insulting a leader or any person just for the sake of insulting especially when it is uncalled
for, on inappropriate platforms, places, times or occasions, throwing shoes or tomatoes or eggs or
ink – are all acts, the opposite of productive, which cannot be justified and thus need to be
condemned.

We often hear people at work offering explanations like ‘the reason I could not do this is because
X did not do that’ or ‘the email went to my SPAM, so I wasn’t sure if that work was assigned to
me’. More relevant here is the excuse of not looking at emails (which are significantly important)

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than looking at redundant messages on WhatsApp. We seldom see people coming forward to say,
‘I am sorry, let me see what I can do to make things right for you’. The problem with our society
today is the line between accountability and blame stands very blurred, leading us in the wrong
direction. Accountability should not be equated to blame or punishment. Accountability is taking
responsibility of failures and of finding solutions - by applying the lessons of past and present to
improve future results. It makes one’s actions rise above excuses, overcome fears and gather the
courage and willingness to answer questions from those affected. Accountability isn’t burdening
rather it liberates by helping honour and at times even exceeding one’s standards, understanding
lacunas and making correct choices. This does not mean that it comes without consequences –
both positive and negative. In fact, accountability without consequence, is no accountability at all.
All it means is that the consequences are neither unwelcomed nor unproductive.

And should this trait of being accountable be acquired only once we are ‘mature enough’.
Certainly not. Every parent should be accountable for bringing up accountable children who then
turn into accountable adults, creating an accountable and hence a productive society. The earlier
we start, the better, after all, old lessons die hard. Therefore, let us explain to our children that a
wrong behavior, even as a reaction to another person’s ill doing, is still wrong and will attract a
consequence.

In a recent podcast episode by Rob Dial, titled ‘Your Life is Your Decisions’, he uses a very
appropriate quote, “You are born looking like your parents, but you’ll die looking like your
decisions” to emphasize the fact that a person’s life at any given point in time, is a combination
of decisions one makes throughout. Being born in a certain set of circumstances – family, religion,
culture or country, things that one has no control over, will only have as much impact as one
chooses to let. What one can choose is to pick the good and leave behind the bad and transit from
what is to what they want to be. No stories of people rising against the odds or even maintaining
a legacy of success have or will ever be possible without the element of accountability.
Nonetheless, children holding the parents responsible for their subject choices might be
reasonable, however, the unsuccessful career choices is their (young adults) prerogative. Failures
does not just mean monetary failures. It also mean unsuccessful relationships. One major reason,
in my opinion, for the increasingly short - term marriages, rising number of divorces and nuclear
families is the paucity of accountability. Our capability to accept mistakes and make adjustments
has become practically non - existent. When all we do is point fingers at others and never feel the
need to introspect or mend our ways, nurturing a relationship filled with joy, affection and respect
will remain a distant dream. Until both the partners be accountable for their action things would
be difficult to be better. This all has got to be instilled right from the beginning. The family and
the schools would have to understand that we all act as role models for our children. If adults own
the responsibility and feel accountable for all the outcomes of their action then children will learn
it automatically. While thinking about this article I realised that many a times we let our children
believe that their action or outcome was due to parents or teachers, then the child may not correct
self ever. The parents and teachers are to be held accountable for their action but at the same time
children should also be accountable for their own action or behavior.

Our children will be at disadvantage if we do not show them the way. In the name of freedom of
speech social media platforms should not be used to demean the society and the country. The
politicians, government officials, Judiciary, journalists, media houses, teachers and heads of
institutions must own the accountability and when that happens the world will be great place to
live for everyone.

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The crux of it all is simple - at the end of the day, without personal accountability we cannot grow
nor can we ever improve ourselves. Whether we realise and accept it or not, the responsibility of
our life lies with us, and that is why this rare characteristic should be considered essential – it
makes us not just better professionals and leaders but also better parents, children and spouses;
constructive and contributory members of the society. And thinking along these lines is the only
way forward on the path of betterment.
To conclude, I’d like to share with you all, a short but thought provoking quote shared with me
by my wife, Ms Sangeeta Yadav, “यवद कोई हमारी अच्छी आदतों के कारण अपनी बरु ी आदतंे नहीं बदलता तो हम उसकी
बुरी आदतों के कारण अपनी अच्छी आदतें कयोोँ बदलंे. कया हमारे चररत्र का अवस्तत्व इतना ही ह,ै के वकसी और की बरु ी आदतों की वजह
स,े हम अपनी अच्छी आदतें बदल द”ंे
(If people do not change their bad habits due to our good habits, then why should we change
our good habits because of their bad habits. the existence of our character so bleak that
someone else’s bad habits make us change our good ones)

-Posted on Wednesday, July 28, 2021

10

SUCCESS IS A FUNCTION OF MINDSET

“Winners don’t do different things; they just do things differently” - Shiv Khera

A little less than a decade ago, I read a very inspiring book based on narratives from lives of
extraordinary achievers in different domains. Titled ‘Outliers: The Story of Success’ – by
Malcolm Gladwell, the book gives an insight into the hidden advantages and cultural legacies that
encourage high achievers to learn, work and understand the world in a way others do not, hence
explain the logic behind their success. Based on the same book, I wrote about the ‘10,000 Hour
rule’ (of practice) in one of my previous articles. What reminded me of the book recently was a
very impressive podcast - The Mindset Mentor by Rob Dial. In the episode called ‘5 Keys to
Develop the Mindset of a Winner’ he talks about five develop–able traits that differentiate winners
from the rest, quoting from lives of two very famous basketball players – Michael Jordan and
Kobe Bryant, which I would like to share with you all. But before we move forward, I’d like to
state that I here do not intend to advocate the idea of winning so much as the idea of fostering a
winner’s mindset / attitude and yes, if experts and researches are to be believed, a healthy mindset
is not necessarily something one is inherently born with, it is something that can be built, worked
upon and strengthened.

Moving on, the five characteristics that Rob Dial lists as fundamental components of a winner’s
psychological assembly are as follows:

1. They are absolutely obsessed with their goal

2. They do not see an option other than winning

3. They understand that messing up is a part of the process

4. They surround themselves with winners

5. They adhere to hard core self - discipline.

An absolute obsession about one’s dreams and goals is the first indicator of a winner’s mindset.
How do we gauge what absolute obsession is? When the persistence and determination to achieve
the goal surpasses all negativities that any kind or any number of setbacks can trigger, the
obsession to succeed is absolute. In simple words, no matter what happens, no matter how difficult
or unattainable things seem, no matter what people around say, one is focused and motivated
enough to get to the finishing line. It is when everything else seems pale in the light of one’s goal
and nothing comes even close to being as valuable. It is when each day is planned around
becoming better; taking a step towards the set target.

Our goals might be different, big or small, something as big as building a business empire which
could take as long as an entire lifetime or something as common as losing weight (which I believe
would take relatively lesser time to achieve), the way to approach is not to waiver till it is achieved.
The idea of fulfilling the goal should be so deeply engraved that all our actions automatically align
in a manner leading us to the final accomplishment. And there is no stopping before that. It is this
kind of fixation and passion, nothing short of it, which becomes the foundation of a winner’s
mindset.

The second trait winners possess is they do not see an option other than winning. This does not
mean that they never fail. It just means that they do not give up or stop trying until they achieve

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what they set out for. It is like how Michael Jordan once said, “I never lost a game. I just ran out
of time.”

So the next time when things seem to not work out for us, we might not want to think of a ‘Goal
B’. What we can do instead is think about a ‘plan B’ to achieve our initial goal.

The entire process of setting goals is structured around our personal philosophy and value system.
Everything that goes inside our mind in the form of thoughts, ideas and information which in turn
influences our behaviour and habits, forms our personal philosophy. And the same beliefs also
determine our value system. Basically meaning that our decisions about what and how we do
things is based upon what we think is valuable in life. Now whether these decisions lead us to
inevitable success or unavoidable failure depends upon how we view life’s challenges and the
sum total of our learnings and experiences. It usually happens that the negative experiences in
one’s life result in erroneous conclusions, thus blocking the possibility of achievement of goals.
That is to say, if after a failure we become more negative and fearful one; if instead of being
confident about doing it the next time, we question whether or not we’ll be able to do it or not, the
chances of excelling diminish largely. Winners do not let that happen to them. For them it is just
that goal. They do not pursue it casually. Instead they let their failures and their obsession fuel the
undying fire within to propel them into a whole new future.

So instead of losing hope or giving up, if we do not give ourselves any alternative but winning; if
we learn from our mistakes and experiences and use it to empower and make us better, we are
indeed moving towards inculcating a winner’s mindset.

The third characteristic is understanding that messing up is a part of the process.

As is famously said, ‘If you don’t make mistakes, you aren’t really trying.’ Winners understand
that every error that they commit, every fault that they make are stepping stones in the path of
their success. They understand that the one way to learn to do something right is to do it wrong.
The idea of not succeeding does not scare them. They know that unless they go out there, explore,
test and push their boundaries, their achievements will hardly be more than mediocre. What they
also ensure is to improve and grow after each mistake.

As Rob Dial said in the podcast, “They can miss the game winning shot tonight and they’ll still
want to take the last shot tomorrow. Because they know that they just missed a shot. They are
going to miss a ton of shots.” Like the famous Michael Jordan quote, “I’ve missed more than 9000
shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning
shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I
succeed.”

Winners never stop believing in themselves. Instead of beating themselves up, they perceive their
defeats differently; they take all their messes in their stride and come out of it victorious.

So the next time we make a mistake, we shouldn’t regret that we tried. What is important is using
that guilt constructively to bring about an improvement; a positive change; taking yet another step
towards our ultimate goal.

The fourth feature is they surround themselves with winners. We cannot succeed by ourselves.
Everyone needs other people to help them achieve their goals. We need our families, friends, peers
and colleagues to support us in our endeavours. But the way we choose our inner circle is of prime
importance, for other people’s attitude affects us and each of us also in turn has the capacity to
affect those around us. Winners thus carefully surround themselves with other winners, people

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who would fuel their growth and not hold them back. People who will understand their desires
and encourage them rather than undermining or putting them down. It is very easy to let the wrong
persons slip into our lives without realizing. The key is to learn to recognize their effect and take
necessary actions to minimize and even nullify any damage. That is why we must take close looks
at our circle of influence frequently. A timely re – evaluation of our associates while on the path
of progress might not be an easy choice, but is an essential one. To be able to succeed, one has to
have the courage to disassociate with negative influence whenever necessary. I understand that it
is not always possible to do so. We cannot avoid talking to our co – workers forever or refuse to
visit a certain relative, but what we can do is limit the time we spend with them, thereby limiting
their ability to influence us.

And that’s not all. While one role of the right company is keeping negativity at bay, the other
function is enrichment. Rob Dial in his podcast mentioned how Kobe Bryant had a ‘GOAT List’
– Greatest (winners) of All Time list that he would surround himself with and how it helped him
succeed.

It is said, birds of same feather, flock together. When a child joins a new school or an employee
joins a new workplace, from the heterogeneous mix of classmates or colleagues, they will flock
with those with disposition similar to their own. Those with a winner’s mindset will foremost
ensure that they stay in the company of other winners only, wherever they go because they
understand that the pay - off otherwise will cost them the quality of their work. The impact of
people we associate with is much more than what is visible to the naked eye. I therefore suggest,
even if you’re not a bird completely with winner’s feathers, flocking with those who are, will help
you evolve into one of them. Being surrounded by people with a winner’s mindset opens up the
opportunity for us to capitalize on the power of their positive influence. By being good listeners
and even better observers, we can learn amply from an outside voice, from other people’s
experiences with failures and success, giving us a fresh perspective, which otherwise might not
have been possible.

To sum up, the importance of being in company with the right people in shaping our attitude is
undeniable. Therefore, choose your friends wisely and as is famously said, “You cannot hang out
with negative people and expect to live a positive life.”

The last in the list is hard core self - discipline. Bobby Knight, the former American Basketball
coach had once said, “The key is not the will to win…everybody has that. It is the will to prepare
to win that is important.”

The formula for success certainly involves practicing a few simple yet effective disciplines every
day. Problems arise when we give ourselves the leeway to practice even a small amount of
indiscipline. What we do not realize is each undisciplined act tends to open the floodgates leading
to breakdowns in the chain of self - discipline. The license we give ourselves to wander even
momentarily outside the boundaries of self - control establishes a subtle tendency, and with
passing time eventually gives opportunity for other self – imposed disciplines also to erode.

The one way to maintain self – discipline without getting tired, is to enjoy the journey, not just
the destination. Scientifically speaking, our body releases dopamine also known as the reward or
motivation hormone every time our brain expects a reward. The key here is to associate the ‘feel
good factor’ with each step of our growth. When we start appreciating the journey, our brain
releases dopamine more frequently i.e. on every step of the process, making us feel self - rewarded
by all the little achievements, thus encouraging us to move forward happily. This sets a cycle of

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positivity in motion, ultimately propelling us towards our final destination, ensuring that we enjoy
each stop of our expedition.
On the other hand if all we care about is attaining the final success, our journey (due to lack of
dopamine) will be tiresome and unsustainable; anything but fulfilling. And the joy of achievement
would also be rather short lived. The focus therefore should be on creating a journey which is
enjoyable and self – disciplined, supported with lots of positive self – talk.
An example of self – discipline from Kobe Bryant’s life is that he used to wake up every single
morning at 4 am since he was in high school to practice basketball. One night right after winning
a championship, instead of wanting to take a break or celebrate, he walked up to his trainer and
said, “Alright, I’ll see you at the gym at 4 am.” The reason he was so self - disciplined was because,
although winning the championship was important, for him it signified just the end result of a
process. And he was more in love with the process than the end result itself. He inadvertently had
his dopamine reward system programmed in a way that made practicing basketball every day at 4
am more satisfying than taking a break or winning the championship.
To conclude, I would say, we all face similar circumstances; adversities and complexities. What
guides us to different destinations is determined by the way we choose to set out our sail. The way
we think makes all the difference in where we arrive. There are no shortcuts to success. It is not a
quality that we can attain once and for all. In my opinion, it is a way of life that needs to be
practiced over and over and over again.
To sum up, I’d like to quote Oprah Winfrey, “The greatest discovery of all time is that a person
can change his future merely by changing his attitude.”

-Posted on Thursday, July 1, 2021

14

DIVIDED NO MORE

I hope, with a decline in the number of COVID 19 cases around us, you might be feeling considerably less
distressed and anxious, though should not be negligent in following the much necessary COVID
appropriate behavior. With governments planning gradual unlock processes throughout the country,
situation definitely seems to have improved, but what mustn’t be forgotten is staying cautious. We have all
contributed by staying indoors and taking care of ourselves and our loved ones and being careless now will
simply mean throwing away all that effort.

I would thus urge all of you to stay safe.

The current article is the third and final one based on the book, ‘The Courage to Teach’ by Parker J Palmer.
In the last two we had been introduced to concepts of selfhood, identity, integrity, community of truth and
knowing, teaching and learning in community. In this one, I will cover the concluding chapter – ‘Divided
no More, teaching from a Heart of Hope’ where Parker shifts the focus from ‘Teaching Practices’ to a
much wider concept of reforming and revitalizing education by living a life that is divided no more.

Personally for me, this last chapter is like a cherry on the cake. Palmer here talks about a way of life –
listing it in steps, which I feel if understood deeply and followed correctly would not only make us better
teachers or professionals in general, but help us grow closer to our inner selves, the first step to a more
balanced and content life. He addresses an issue that all of us have and probably still face, the issue that he
calls ‘living a divided life’. So, what exactly is this divided (or undivided) life? I here attempt to explain it
from a teacher’s perspective.

We all, whether as teachers, parents or concerned citizens of the society, will agree that our educational
system needs changes, serious refurbishment. Enthusiasts amongst us will be flooded with ideas about
where and what is going wrong and why it needs immediate fixing. But more often than not these ideas
remain away from actual implementation and we end up blaming the rigidity and flaws of the system for
it. To put it simply, we often face the dilemma of whether to listen to our inner voice or to abide by
organizational norms. And every time that we give into the norms over our inner voice, we blame the
system for our helplessness. What we do not realize is by doing so, we inadvertently choose for ourselves
a life that is divided. And for those of us who choose otherwise, we lay grounds for a reform.

Such is the case, not just with individual organizational level policies but also with our government
formulated New Education Policy 2020. Much has been discussed and spoken about its pros and cons and
one aspect that has been discussed at length is the feasibility (or rather non feasibility) of its
implementation. Most experts are of the opinion that NEP is a wonderful document, with suggestions of
long overdue and much needed amendments; but the possibility of its successful implementation due to
unavailability of monetary and human resources, bureaucratic factors and political aspects seem more
pessimistic than hopeful. So, should we simply discard the NEP or any other such idea involving changes?
For how long will we stare at an impasse, not doing anything about it and living a life where what we claim
as our thoughts and convictions do not match our actions? For how long will we blame the system for our
own inability to stand up for our beliefs? Institutions cannot change themselves; had they had the capacity
for constant evolution, there would never have been a crisis demanding transformation. And all we do is
indulge in activities that defy our personal value structure and blame the ‘this’ and ‘that’ of the system for
it, hereby choosing to succumb to the external forces and taking a step away from that transformation,
choosing a life that is divided - a life that fragments us, breaks us, devoid us of harmony; where our inner
truth is not congruent with our outer self. And to hope that any sort of social progress could blossom in
such a divided life is so to say, futile.

The starting point of any social movement will happen only when we care to act; when we stand strong for
our beliefs and challenge the institutional resistance to change. When, as Palmer puts it “an isolated
individual who suffers from a situation that needs changing decide to live divided no more. When people
come to a juncture where they must choose between allowing selfhood to die and claiming their identity

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and integrity from which good living and good teaching arises. The starting point of a social movement
happens when the dividedness becomes so extreme that it is intolerable and one can no longer live without
bringing one’s actions in sync with one’s inner life.”

To substantiate, Parker introduces us to Rosa Parks, the American activist of colour, who decided she could
no longer act as if she were less than a full human being, as how the institutional racism had defined her.
On Dec 1, 1995 in Montgomery, Alabama, she sat down toward the front of a segregated bus (which was
against the law back then) and refused to yield her seat to a white man. Though she was later jailed and
fined, for her it was that moment – the starting point of a social movement. Her act led to a public
transportation boycott led by Martin Luther King Jr, resulting in a federal court decision against the bus
segregation laws; eventually giving rise to the civil rights movement.

Another example closer to home that I would like to quote would be of the Father of our Nation. Gandhi
Ji’s first act of Civil Disobedience goes back to when he was a young lawyer working in South Africa. It
was in 1893 that he first refused to comply with racial segregation rules there by travelling in a first class
railway compartment, from which he was later forcibly ejected. It was in that moment he decided to
dedicate his life to fighting injustice and defending his rights as a human being.

What is common in both these campaigns is their non – violent nature and the intention of community wide
wellbeing as against any individualistic political gains. What is also true is these incidents were not the
first of their kinds. Other people would have committed similar acts with no results except punishments.
But had Rosa Parks or Gandhi Ji sat their waiting for some kind of guarantee or calculating their odds of
success, history would not have been written the way it is now.

So is Palmer encouraging us all to become revolutionaries? May be or maybe not. But what he is definitely
proposing is we start living a life that prepares us to bring about small productive alterations or incremental
adjustments to the existing system as and when needed – a life that is divided no more, which is also first
of the four stages any successful movement follows. To list, the four stages are as follows. The stages
mentioned are ideal types. In real life scenarios, they might overlap, circle back and not even occur in the
same order. But by bifurcating, we can understand the essential dynamics and importance of each stage.

1. Isolated individuals make a conscious decision to live ‘divided no more’

2. Individuals begin discovering one another and form communities of congruence

3. The communities start going public, learning to convert their private concerns into public issues.

4. A system of alternative rewards to sustain the movement’s vision and to put pressure for change emerges.

Elaborating the first stage, how do we begin living a life that is undivided? Palmer suggests we start by
going beyond criticizing institutions and becoming self - critical. Thus our focus needs to move away from
labeling ‘those people’ or ‘that place’ as our problems, to accepting our own shortcomings for complying
with the system and letting it rule our lives. We are to explore and awaken our inner identity and integrity,
overcome our apprehensions and inhibitions and refuse to move along or give the institution power over
us. It happens when, as Rosa Park puts it, ‘You get tired, not physically but tired in your heart, tired in your
soul, tired of giving in’. In the words of Palmer, to choose an undivided life is to put flesh on the Pogo
principle – “We has met the enemy, and it is us.” The moment we decide to stop being our own enemy, we
free ourselves from institutional constraints and gain power to confront the institution. It is when we no
longer collaborate in something that violates our own integrity and are ready to face the punishment that
may follow, simply because no punishment anyone else lays could possibly be worse than the punishment,
we lay ourselves by conspiring in our own diminishment.

The decision of an undivided life, however powerfully motivated needs continual reinforcement for its
survival. We live in a society that often tells us a divided life is sane but an undivided life is foolish and
even irresponsible. Thus, in the second stage of a successful movement, various people who have chosen
to life an undivided life but are still in self - doubt come together to form ‘communities of congruence’

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whose primary purpose is mutual reassurance. A major hindrance that these people face, is finding like -
minded people closer to home. And the only way to plant a seed from which community of congruence
would grow is making visible one’s decision and beliefs. These communities when formed are able to offer
a safe conceptual space where the substance of movement is developed and sustained. It is here that a face
or rather a language is given to the movement’s vision, a streamlined language of strength that will help it
survive and thrive through the rough and tumble of public realm. In short, these communities of congruence
act like platforms – provide a structure for like - minded people to come together, for their movements to
take root, strengthen and work through imperfections before going public.

How any lacuna or discrepancy in the vision and ultimate intentions of participants can lead to the falling
apart of a movement can be clearly seen in case of Anna Hazare and his allies. Anna Hazare had been a
popular name in the field of Indian Social Activism specifically in the state of Maharashtra. From
transformation of Ralegan Siddhi to Watershed Development Programs to anti - corruption and farmer
protests he was involved in multiple successful movements in the state. His first national level movement
which came into light in 2011 was introduced to the public as aimed towards alleviating corruption in our
government and bureaucratic setups through the introduction of Jan Lokpal Bill. He was joined by a few
noted citizens of our nation. But the movement lost momentum when the splits in ideologies between
various members came to light with the formation of a currently existing political party. The anti -
corruption movement which was listed as one of the ‘Top Ten News Stories of 2011’ by Time Magazine
failed to make much impact and is now nowhere to be seen. Our country has not seen any movement of
potential ever since - a clear indication that for a movement to be socially uplifting, its roots cannot be
anywhere other than the welfare of its masses. Secondly, it should not just list problems and flaws, but
offer feasible alternatives, a goal to be achieved. A movement based on people’s selfish interests and no
clear goal will only lead to disturbance and anarchy.

Moving on to the third stage - ‘Going Public’. In this stage, the movement now in a well - shaped structural
form is opened for the public realm; it moves from amongst like - minded cause supporting people to the
scrutiny of a larger audience. This is the stage where not only does it have a chance to influence others but
also meet challenges that compel it to check and correct its own values. It is in this stage that a movement
undergoes reality check – where it either emerges as reasonable or falls into delusion. And the leaders of
any authentic movement will not shy away from going public, from engaging in give and take and
understanding very well that public dialogue is the only way to truly reach their desired goals.

In the words of Palmer, ‘As a movement goes public, the identity and integrity of its participants are tested
against the great diversity of values and visions at work in the public arena. We must stay close to our own
integrity in this complex field of forces, where we can easily lose our way. But we must also risk opening
ourselves to conflicting influences, for in that way both the movement and our integrity can grow.’

The fourth and final stage, that Palmer calls ‘The Heart’s Reward’ depicts the full trajectory of the efforts
put in. In stage 1 where movement energies were generated, an isolated individual abandoned the logic of
organizations and decided to live an undivided life. Those energies became communal in stage 2 and went
public in stage 3. In stage 4 they come back, multiplied many folds, to the point of their origin – with the
intention of altering the organizational logics. In stage 1, people had seen no punishment worse than their
own diminishment; in stage 4, they see no reward greater than living their own truth. One does not need to
aim for a complete makeover or overturning of the prevailing order. Small but effective steps of
incremental adjustments will gradually be enough to make the difference. As Thomas Merton suggested,
“We do not need to adjust to the world; we can adjust the world.” Movements are more likely to fine tune
reality than to give rise to a brave new world.

To conclude I would say, we often think of movements as hateful and damaging towards an institution.
What we do not often realize is people who start movements do not do so because they hate an institution
but because they love it too much to let it descend to its lowest form. A constructive social movement
might be against an institution’s norms, it certainly will not be against the institute itself. What it will do is
better the institution, help it evolve. Organizations and social movements are in fact not polarities but share

17

a paradoxical relation, wherein affirmation of both and their symbiosis is what a healthy society requires.
Talking specifically about the field of educational institutions, the number of teachers with revolutionary
emotions and behavior might not be a majority but are enough to give us hope for a better future.
In the words of Palmer, Organizations and movements both play creative roles, but to quite different ends.
Organizations represent the principal of order and conservation: they are the vessels in which a society
holds hard – won treasures from the past. Movements represent the principal of flux and change; they are
the processes through which a society will encourage interplay between the two. From a teacher’s
perspective, we will discover that there is no essential conflict between loving to teach and working to
reform education. In an authentic movement, the world becomes our classroom and the potential to teach
and learn is found everywhere.”
With the end of the book, we have come a full circle from discovering nuances of the inner terrain of our
selfhood to channelizing our powers beyond ourselves, in the co – creation a better world. As poet Rumi
puts it, when we are unfaithful to our inner teacher and to the community of truth, we do lamentable damage
not only to ourselves or our students but to great things of the world, thus we should choose to live a life
that is divided no more.

-Posted on Thursday, June 10, 2021

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KNOWING, TEACHING AND LEARNING IN COMMUNITY

Dedicated to Prof. B P Khandelwal -A true educationist

This article comes to you again during a rather difficult and distressed time than before. Many of
us, including myself, have been reeling under a lot of emotional turmoil and heartaches. But the
key to fighting our way out, in addition to following safety measures, is staying together and
staying positive. I therefore, reach out to each one of you, to take care of yourself and people
around you, not just physically but emotionally and hereby share with you a good read, something
that helps me keep my mind happy, and hopefully it will for you too.

The current article is a continuation of the last one, i.e. my learning from my latest favorite book
‘The Courage to Teach – Exploring the Inner Landscape of a Teacher’s Life’ by Parker J Palmer.
In the last one, I had written mostly about inner forces of a teacher’s personality like self hood,
fear, paradoxes, etc that connect or disconnect us from our students and our subject. The current
one will be more about how building the teacher’s inner landscape will ultimately translate into
the general good.

Teaching, as I also mentioned earlier is a public profession, which bears the responsibility of
building a community of learners where education can thrive. And such a community cannot take
root in a disconnected life. Creating such a community, as Palmer calls it, is an outward and visible
sign of an inward and invisible grace, the flowing of a teacher’s personal identity and integrity
into the world of relationships. The kind of community that Palmer seeks is one that can embrace,
guide and refine the core mission of education – the mission of knowing, teaching and learning;
the onus of which falls on us teachers. Thus, in this article, based on the second part of the book,
I will talk about knowing, teaching and learning in community.

To begin with, Palmer talks about three different models of community in education – the
therapeutic, civic and marketing. The therapeutic model, as he explains is one where intimacy is
considered to be the best therapy for the pain of disconnection. Intimacy or an intimate relationship
is one where we share our deeper natures with each other, in the belief that we can be fully known
and trust that we will be fully accepted. But a conventional application of such a model of
community to education is neither subtle nor apt, simply because we cannot achieve genuine
intimacy with more than a handful of people in our lifetime. The practicality of such a model will
not be widespread as here we are unable to connect with people and ideas that are alien to what
we think and who we are. In the words of the author, ‘The therapeutic model basically exploits
our fear of otherness by reducing community to whatever can take familial or friendly form.’

The next, civic model is one with a range of relationships between strangers that mutually respect
a common space and common goals without the necessity of a personal relationship. Here,
members learn to cooperate and work with one another to solve problems. As Palmer puts it, ‘The
community envisioned here is one of public mutuality rather than personal vulnerability, where
people may not learn what is in each other’s hearts but understand that if they do not hang together,
they will hang separately’. But the efficacy of this model is also questionable. While it has features
vital to teaching and learning, it also contains subtle threats to the core mission. In the civic model,
like in a democratic society, the rule of majority takes precedence. And when it comes to
education, truth by majority rule is not necessarily the truth. To explain using an example, the
discovery of earth’s gravitational force or it being round did not come about through the majority
rule. In fact, had it been for the majority rule, we might have still believed otherwise.

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In the third, i.e. the marketing model, education is treated as a commodity, something that the bill
paying students and parents consume. This model has a very straightforward norm – educational
institutions must improve their product by strengthening relations with customers and becoming
more accountable to them. The consumers are given ample opportunity to criticize their purchase.
These criticisms are then passed on to the educators who ‘produce’, in order to help them change
their ways and satisfy more and more customers. The reason such a model will fail is simply
because a loveless enterprise will turn out to be pathological and if anything hinder true
development. It is hard to imagine a healthy school that lacks any trace of love for learning or for
learners.

The above three models of community contain different insights that education needs. But neither
of them are comprehensive or complete in themselves. What we need to bear in mind is the core
of education - knowing, teaching and learning are not mutually exclusive but mutually exhaustive.
They are also interdependent, like a web of relations sewn together. How beautiful the final
product comes out, is for us to work upon. Parker’s ultimate goal, is to build a model that enhances
the knowing, learning and teaching experience in its rightful manner and is also practically
applicable. He calls such a model, the community of truth – a space where truth seekers and truth
givers come together.

To understand what he means by ‘truth’, let us understand all that is ‘not the truth’. Palmer
suggests whatever we think we know, whatever knowledge or facts we are acquainted with today,
we cannot, without an iota of doubt, claim it to be the complete and ultimate reality of things; i.e.
to say the possibility of it being proven a fallacy in the next few or maybe few hundred years will
always exist. Thus the only truth that exists in the field of knowledge is that it is ever evolving. In
the words of Palmer, ‘truth is an eternal conversation, a passionate and disciplined process of
inquiry, a dynamic dialogue that keeps testing old conclusions and coming to new ones.’

Thus the community of truth, will be a space where there are no pristine objects of knowledge and
no ultimate authority. It is a space where education is more than mere delivering of propositions
about objects to passive audiences. Knowing in the community of truth is simply being aware of
and understanding that our knowledge is limited to the current conclusions, which is not to be
claimed as the ultimate truth but is only useful to initiate a conversation that would put it to test
and scrutiny again and again by the community. And for such a model to come alive, the subject
and not the teacher or student is to be made the center of attention. The subject which Palmer also
refers to as ‘Great Things’, should be treated as a living being, may be understood as fire around
which the knowers and the seekers gather to exchange and test their knowledge, ideas, learning,
observations and interpretations. The subject here is not just a dead collection of facts or theories.
It is an active agent – living and breathing, that participates in the dialect of knowing; available
for a relationship with its seekers. In such a model, advances of knowledge come around through
conflict, and not competition – a zero sum game played merely for private gain. Conflict on the
other hand is dynamic, it tests ideas in the open, to make better sense of it to the world. As Robert
Frost said “We dance round in a ring and suppose, But the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”

So after knowing that nothing we know is the truth, how do we possibly engage in teaching in a
community of truth? As Palmer says, “Our knowledge of the world comes from gathering around
great things in a complex and interactive community of truth. But good teachers do more than
deliver the news from that community to their students. Good teachers replicate the process of
knowing by engaging students in the dynamics of the community of truth.”

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Teaching in community of truth is again based on the premise that the subject should be the point
of focus. It does not, as Palmer puts it, assume that teacher has all the knowledge and students
have none, that teachers must give and students must take, that teacher sets standards and students
have to measure up to it. In such a setup, a third thing, the subject holds both the teacher and the
student together, alike accountable for what they do and what they say. Here the students and
teachers work together to learn, with no power binaries present. Here, the passion for subject,
propels the subject, not the teacher. So then why do we need a teacher? The teacher here is a
facilitator, in many cases even a co – leaner who honors the most vital needs of students – to be
introduced to a world larger than their own experiences and egos, a world that expands their
personal boundaries and enlarges their sense of community.

In other words, the role of a teacher is to provide students an environment where firstly there is a
sense of connect and love, with each other and with the subject, secondly there are no power
dynamics of being right or wrong. Under this paradigm, a teacher-mistake in class is not a moment
of embarrassment, but an opportunity to admit shortcomings and engage in good teaching. The
ultimate goal is to develop in children the understanding of the fundamental functioning of your
subject while you bring them up to date about the current know hows; in turn shaping their thought
process and enabling them to think beyond the already known facts. But this isn’t as easy. We
often overdo the delivery of data and facts.

What we need to take care is we spend less time filling their minds with data and our own thoughts
and more time opening a space where they can interact with the subject, with us and with each
other. What we need to do is not ‘cover the field’ but create a community which has the appropriate
balance of ‘stuff’ that must be learnt and ‘space’ that learning requires. So to say, the knowledge
of necessary stuff be given in a condensed manner so that their brains resemble a pen drive – high
storage capacity with higher synthesis speed and not like a floppy disk with just minimal storage
space and lesser efficiency. And this will need intense and intricate classroom planning;
everything from conceptualizing the course of study to selecting materials, framing assignments
and exercises, and blocking out time for the understanding to settle, needs to be pr- planned. Sadly,
there is no fixed formula or teaching technique to it. But what is fixed, is the bottom line - to
develop a sound foundation for further study in a way that it ignites and not dissuades or kills their
love for the subject or learning altogether. This is what Palmer calls ‘Teaching from the
Microcosm’.

Moving on to the last topic, i.e. Learning in Community.

“The best thing for being sad, replied Merlyn, is to learn something. That is the only thing that
never fails.” – T. H. White (From the once and future king)

So what kind of learning does Palmer refer to in ‘Learning in Community’? What he means is
‘learning the art of teaching’. While talking about knowing and teaching in community, we made
our subject, the center of attention. For learning in community, we have to make ‘the art of
teaching’ our subject and thus the focus of our attention. How often do we, as a community of
teachers, discuss or converse with each other about the challenges and problems we face behind
the close doors of our classrooms? We might seldom talk about ‘teaching techniques’ that we
think we excel at but have we ever confided in a fellow colleague about our fears or a disastrous
teaching incident?

We, unlike other professionals (such as surgeons or lawyers) work solo behind closed doors, with
no colleagues’ as audiences, and almost negligibly come together as a community, to talk about

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not what should be, but what is - about our low days, our mistakes, our apprehensions, how we
faulted or what makes us feel vulnerable, without the fear of being mocked or judged or laughed
at. What we should not forget is, we are all rowing in the same boat, we would or will all have
similar experiences. So why not keep our egos and our desire to compete and win under check
and come together honestly with the ultimate motive of learning and teaching the true art of
teaching. Why not open up new topics of conversation, beyond the traditional pedagogical
methods and techniques and bare our inner terrain, trust and be trusted, listen and be heard to, be
nice and humble, learn and be taught.
And how are we to put this into practice? Such communities do not emerge spontaneously. What
they need is a leader. Someone who can streamline the process of providing this ‘safe place’, a
place where teachers gather around ‘good teaching’ as their subject of common interest, something
they would like to explore and pursue passionately. In the words of Palmer, ‘Such a community
is not easily achieved in academic life, given all that divides us. It is most likely to happen when
leaders call us back to the heart of teaching and learning, to the work we share and to share the
passion behind that work. If we who lead and we who teach would take counsel to heart, everyone
in education, administrators, teachers and students alike, would have a chance at healing our
disconnections. Learning – learning together – is the thing for all of us.
To conclude, I would agree with Palmer that in a right model of education, neither the teacher nor
the students should obtain supremacy. In fact all attempts to establish supremacy, is what is costing
us reverence for one another. What should be held superior is the beauty of the subject we seek to
learn. Moreover, great teachers are people who bring to life things that their students have never
heard of, those who invigorate connections between their subject, their students and their own
souls to help students and their own selves become whole. What teachers could be being supreme
facilitators, who make the secret i.e. their subject the focal point and participate (not simply aim
to drive) the entire process of passionate and soulful knowing, teaching and learning.

-Posted on Friday, May 21, 2021

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SELFHOOD, TRUTH AND PARADOXES

What is life if not an amalgamation of experiences and learnings, resulting from our communion
with the rest of the world? And the more diverse this omnium gatherum, the more colourful and
wholesome life seems. Fortunately for me, my profession helps me interact, quite frequently with
a variety of minds from different walks of life. But seldom, do we come across people whose
thoughts and words stay etched in our minds and souls for the rest of our lives. The book that I
am currently reading has introduced me to one such person. Though I’ve never met him ‘in
person’, his writings have opened up horizons of new perspectives for me. I am referring to the
author of the book, ‘The Courage to Teach’ – Exploring the Inner Landscape of a Teacher’s Life,
Mr Parker J Palmer, a highly respected writer, lecturer, teacher, activist, speaker and author of
nine books on teaching, education and spirituality.

Talking more about ‘The Courage to Teach’, it is a book for teachers; an insight, may be even a
guide to unconventionally deep and less spoken about challenges, problems and characteristics of
this ‘occult art’ of good teaching. It opens on a very strong note, I quote, “If you are a teacher who
never has bad days or who has them but does not care, this book is not for you. This book is for
teachers who have good days and bad, and whose bad days bring the suffering that comes only
from something one loves. When you love your work that much – and many teachers do – the
only way to get out of trouble is to go deeper in. We must enter, not evade, the tangles of teaching
so we can understand them better and negotiate with them with more grace, not only to guard our
own spirits but also to serve our students well.“

In this article I would try to talk about a few of my learnings from the first half of the book, with
most of the things directly quoted from it, not just because how powerfully and beautifully it has
been written (and re-writing it would not be justifiable), but because it resonates a lot with my
personal beliefs, as it will with all those passionate beings, who do not merely practice teaching,
but live being a teacher; all those for whom teaching is not just a vocation, but a way of life.

This book has taken me, (as it probably will to all its readers) on an inner journey towards
reconnecting and rediscovering our real selves; understanding ‘selfhood’ being one of the first
areas of discussion. It builds up on the problem of disconnect between the three main constituents
in teaching, i.e. the teacher, the student and the subject; and the only way to bridge the gap being
‘self – knowledge’. Palmer points out that when we consider taking up teaching as a profession,
we often begin with the ‘what’ question – what subjects shall we teach? When we delve a little
deeper, we ask the ‘how’ question – what are the methods to teach well? Next, we ask the ‘why’
question – for what purposes and ends do we teach? But, rarely, if ever, do we ask the ‘who’
question – who is the self that teaches?

But why do we need to plunge so deep and explore the characteristics of our souls to be a good
teacher, as long as we have a strong grip on our subject and know the right technique to teach it?
It is because ‘we teach who we are’. The quality of a teacher’s selfhood, forms – or deforms – the
way they relate to students, subjects, colleagues, in fact the entire world. And educational
institutions not only benefit from but also help sustain and deepen the selfhood from which good
teaching comes. The book builds on a simple but unusual premise: good teaching cannot be
attributed to one or a few particular techniques; rather it comes from the identity and integrity of
a teacher, from their deeper inner lives.

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The author talks about teachers` identity and integrity. So what exactly is identity and integrity?
Identity of a person constitutes traits like one’s genetic makeup, society and community in which
one is raised, the good and bad that one experiences or does to others, the love and suffering that
one goes through and much, much more. Integrity on the other hand are virtues, beliefs and
properties of the self, across time. One cannot have momentary virtues. And this continuity of
virtues, in turn also shapes personal identity. But what needs to be understood here is that when
Palmer talks about integrity, and attributes it as the core of good teaching, he does not mean only
the good deeds or noble qualities, he also includes ones complexities and confusions, strengths
and weaknesses, potentials and limitations. Thus, in simpler words by integrity he does not mean
being perfect or goody – two – shoes. Rather he means becoming more real by acknowledging
and accepting the whole of oneself, with qualities and shortfalls. So when flawlessness is not a
pre requisite for becoming a good teacher, why do have such a hard time accepting and being
comfortable with our real self? It is because we fear, we fear being bared, we fear being vulnerable.
We try and hide behind roles that we think we as educators are supposed to play and that ultimately
causes us to lose that connect with our students.

Teaching techniques that good teachers use might differ. But one common feature that they all
possess is the capacity of connectedness; when they are in the classroom they are present, really
present. Teaching is an intentional act of creating conditions that can help students learn a great
deal – or keep them from learning much at all. What good teaching requires is that we understand
the inner sources of both the intent and the act and only then would we able to weave a web of
connections between ourselves, our students and the subject that we teach. In other words, a
teacher’s ability to connect with students and to connect them with the subject, depends less on
the methods used and more on the degree to which he / she knows and trusts their selfhood – and
are willing to make it available and vulnerable in the service of learning.

Palmer suggests that fear is normal; fear while teaching, fear while interacting with a new group
of students, it isn’t something that will go away with experience and not something that we should
try to fight. All we need, is to be aware of our fears, own them and work upon them so that they
do not restrict our actions and goals, or alter our identities or affect our capacities to have a
relationship with our students and ultimately make us loose our hearts. Fear can be crippling, it is
what limits people from teaching with their hearts. But our blindness towards our fears would be
disastrous. We have to recognize the fear in our heart so that we can recognize fear in students.
When we deny our own condition, we resist seeing anything in others that might remind us of
who, and how, we really are. And this lack of self-confidence affects our abilities to be leaders
because our self-assurance is compromised, thus the withdrawal and disconnect.

Another cause for disconnectedness is our tendency to think in polarities. In the words of Palmer,
“We look at the world through analytical lenses. We see everything as this or that, plus or minus,
on or off, black or white; and we fragment reality into an endless series of either – ors. Without
binary logic, we would neither have computers nor many gifts of modern science. But for all the
power it has given us in science and technology, either – or thinking has also given us a fragmented
sense of reality that destroys the wholeness and wonder of life.”

One means to step out of this dilemma, he suggests, is for us to think of things as paradoxes and
not polarities. He quotes Niels Bohr, the Nobel-prize-winning physicist: “The opposite of a true
statement is a false statement, but the opposite of a profound truth can be another profound
truth.” Light can behave simultaneously like particles and waves. Can teachers not condition

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children even as they un-condition themselves? Can one not speak of the confusions in one’s life
while finding ways of a sane way of living? This process of holistic thinking and paradoxes should
not only be acknowledged in our thoughts but must also be reflected in our classrooms

Palmer presents six paradoxes which he feels should be followed in classroom and pedagogical
designs to provide wholeness in the learning experience:

1. The space should be bounded and open.

2. The space should be hospitable and ‘charged’.

3. The space should invite the voice of the individual and the voice of the group.

4. The space should honour the ‘little’ stories of the students and the ‘big’ stories of the
disciplines and tradition.

5. The space should support solitude, and surround it with the resources of the community.

6. The space should welcome both silence and speech.

A third cause for disconnectedness or fractionality in teaching is our obsession with objective
knowledge. Teaching is a public profession which bears the responsibility of building a
community of learners. However, our system for a long time has been like a top to bottom
unidirectional flow chart, with the ‘objects of knowledge’ on top and students (or as Palmer calls
Amateurs) at the bottom. In such a system, the knowledge or facts about this object or topic is
passed on by the experts, (i.e people who are trained to know them in their pristine form without
allowing their own subjectivity to contaminate its purity), to Amateurs or learners, who are
people without training and full of biases and who depend on experts for objective or pure
knowledge. In such a system, where knowing dominates, education actually creates
disconnections – both physical and emotional between teachers, their subjects and their students.

Though, the importance of objective knowledge cannot be done away with, a paucity of
subjectivity to balance it, is leading to the decivilizing of knowledge, i.e. knowledge that renders
us unfit for the messiness of life. In our current system, knowledge or truth, is just a set of
propositions about objects; education, a system for delivering those to students and an educated
person, one who can remember and repeat those propositions. Such a linear and hierarchical
arrangement leaves little scope for the teacher or learner to fall in love; with the subject or with
the process. Teaching and learning should be understood as mutually complementing, ever
evolving, life - long phenomena, the core of which should be available for relationship building.
And the solution to this, as the author suggests is a community where neither the teacher nor the
student, but the subject is made the center of teaching. He calls this model the ‘community of
truth’ signifying a space where ‘truth seekers’ and ‘truth givers’ come together.

Truth he says is not the objective knowledge we think we have, rather it is a passionate and
disciplined process of inquiry and dialogue, a dynamic conversation that keeps testing old
conclusions and coming into new ones. He thus defines truth as ‘an eternal conversation about
things that matter, conducted with passion and discipline’. The conclusion drawn(known as truth
at this point) is the beginning of journey which enables to new conclusion(new truth). And for
such a model to be built successfully, the center of attention will have to be shifted to the subject,
which will ultimately have a tremendous power to influence the student-teacher-subject dynamic
and in turn, invigorate the learning environment.

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He calls these subjects around which the circle of seekers have always gathered as ‘the great
things’ and talks about how the grace of these can give the educational community its finest form.
When the focus is on the subject, the seekers and givers, will put aside their egos and only try to
help each other learn and grow. Palmer describes how a community of truth would
invite diversity (not because it is the politically correct thing to do but because diverse viewpoints
are demanded by the manifold mysteries of great things); ambiguity (not because we are confused
but because we understand the inadequacy of our concepts to embrace the vastness of great
things); creative conflict (not because we are angry or hostile but because conflict is required to
correct our biases and prejudices about great things); honesty (not because we owe it to one
another but to lie about what we have seen would be to betray the truth of great
things); humility (not because we have fought and lost but because humility is the only lens
through which great things can be seen – and once we have seen them, humility is the only posture
possible); and freedom (not because we have privileged information but because tyranny in any
form can be overcome only by invoking the grace of great things).
I would conclude by stating that the arguments and assertions made in this book are unfamiliar, at
times difficult to comprehend but I believe it contains the answers to a few fundamental questions
we ask about teaching. And we owe it to our children, for the sake of learning and those who learn,
to address these issues openly and honestly, alone and together, so that we can serve our students
more faithfully, enhance our own well - being, make common cause with colleagues and help
education bring more light and life to the world.
PS : I will talk about the rest of the book in my next article / articles and would encourage all my
readers, whether teachers or others to read and benefit. Though written primarily for those in the
teaching vocation, the ideas in this book would be relevant to all, seeking balance and wholeness
in their personal and professional lives.

-Posted on Thursday, April 22, 2021

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LEARNING FROM THE YEAR GONE BY

Greetings to all my respected readers. My apologies for a long gap in sharing my thoughts with
all of you. This was due to some personal reason, though I was very excited share this with you,
for this one being my `Article 350`. Before writing my thoughts on the topic mentioned I would
like to remember Mr Varun Gupta, alumni of Delhi Public School Jodhpur, who made me to write
my thoughts and share the same with all of you in the form of Blog. This Journey started almost
ten years back. I would also like to thank all of you for reading and commenting on different
articles. Here I would like to specially mention Sh. Arvind Bhatt Ji, who himself is an institution,
for making me feel worth writing on few topics. Let me take you all through the past year and
learning from the same.

“Our children of classes 3 and 4 were able to read and write, but now half of them have forgotten
how to read. Writing is worse, children are unable to write even two or three sentences in the
workbook.” reported a teacher from Rajasthan.

Data released by UNICEF earlier this month is rather worrisome. It points out that as many as
24.7 crore children enrolled in elementary and secondary schools have been impacted due to the
closure of around 15 lakh schools across our nation as a result of the pandemic. Further if the
findings of a recent field study by Azim Premji University on ‘Loss of Learning during the
Pandemic’ are to be believed, 92% and 82% of primary school students have lost at least one
specific foundational ability vis-à-vis previous year for language and mathematics respectively.
Although the field study was conducted in five states only, namely Karnataka, Chhattisgarh,
Madhya Pradesh, Rajasthan and Uttarakhand, the trends of findings stand valid across the nation,
the university said.

‘The extended school closures induced by COVID-19 pandemic will have serious long term
repercussions on children and their learnings’ is a bitter truth the entire teaching fraternity knows
they need to accept and deal with. The process of transitioning back to normal, from the ‘new
ways’ to our ‘old track’ will certainly not be as organic or effortless as we wish it would be.
Especially with, probably a plethora of challenges yet to be uncovered, it would only be safe to
say that the situation as it seems, will not be able to heal itself, not any time soon evidently. But
the resilient selves that we are, any alternative short of taking challenges head-on is not an option
we give ourselves. So, with the current academic year nearing its conclusion, children preparing
to appear for their board exams, offline and the planning for upcoming session (2021 – 22) in full
swing giving us hope and vibes of normalcy, it would not be a bad idea to revisit our memories,
learnings and a few research findings from the most unusual year that went by also to better
understand where we truly stand.

It was late January 2020 when the first case of coronavirus got detected in India in Kerela. Back
then it seemed like one odd case that did not warrant much attention. But the infection spread in
no time and by mid-March 2020, Jodhpur reported its first case. The situation till then, as I may
call it, seemed more skeptical than daunting and most of us were in a ‘preventive actions’ mode.
With the announcement of Janata Curfew on Sunday, March, 22nd 2020 followed by a 21-day
strict nationwide lockdown from March 25th, the uneasiness though beginning to tick in, was
majorly manageable. Most of us, still unaffected by the virus, saw the lockdown as a blessing in
disguise, giving us the much needed respite from our busy lives. While staying indoors for three
weeks straight had become a communal responsibility (without a choice), we saw it as an
opportunity to rejuvenate, to spend time with our families and pursue our hobbies. The temporary

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closure of education institutions was seen, by both parents and children, as an early additional
summer break, domiciliary confinement for a few weeks being the only visible drawback. Things
changed, when this restriction on classroom teaching prolonged and eventually became the most
significant salient feature characterizing nearly the entire academic session.

The memories of hiccups and panic we faced will be hard to wipe away. To state it simply, we
weren’t and wouldn’t have, in a hundred lifetimes, been ready for an unprecedented situation like
this. Neither did we have the necessary technological preparation nor the psychological
bandwidth. Schools and families had to resort rapidly to a new teaching - learning scenario without
the benefit of previous planning or sufficient guidelines. We tried, as teachers and equally as
parents, to innovate and make the best of situation at hand. The challenges and obstacles we faced
need no testimony. Moreover, the adoption of various emergency techniques like online teaching
or remote learning as the best available option to salvage the situation, its pros and cons,
difficulties and efficacies are topics been discussed and debated at length and probably need no
more deliberation. But, what should not go overlooked are the long term adverse consequences
this extended forceful staying away from school, has subconsciously had on the psyche of our
children.

The importance of school in a child’s life cannot be limited to academic achievements. It is, for
most, the social platform of their first ever independent interaction with the world outside their
own families. A place where they meet new people, both peers and adults, build their own
friendships and relationships, understand the nuances of social behavior, learn team work,
tolerance, patience and other interpersonal skills which eventually shape their habits, conduct and
very personalities. And (almost) an entire year of limited socialization is bound to have left gaps
in their behavioral, cognitive and motor skills.

This isn’t something that is merely my belief; there are numerous studies to confirm it. The
extended isolation of children from their peers and social circle has had serious psychological
impacts. The pandemic had created an indescribable situation of anguish and pain for the whole
of humanity. It had created severe mass distress, anxiety, uncertainty, panic and challenges to the
life outcomes of both children and adults. But, as per United Nations Organization (2020) children
have been observed as one of the biggest sufferers, the negative influences significantly shaped
by the economic and social conditions of families. Children have been found in acute need of
social support to help them bear the pain of neglect caused all of a sudden, without any warning.
What various studies also point towards is that such cases were prominent among children from
nuclear families, especially where both parents were working. These findings for me resurface the
age old debate of Nuclear Family Vs Joint Family.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines joint family as a consanguineal unit that includes two or
more generations of kindred related through either paternal or maternal line who maintain a
common residence and are subject to common social, economic and religious regulations. The
idea of joint families is not unfamiliar to us Indians. Characterized by collective values, guided by
shared identity, deep attachments, unique socialization, emotionality, concern for others,
interdependence and relatively permanent relationships, the joint family system was the only
societal setup our forefathers conformed with. But with an increase in migration to urban areas
and the growing desire for economic independence and personal space, the popularity of nuclear
families has been on a rise during the last couple of decades. It was probably during home
confinement, that the pangs of solitude were felt to a higher degree and by a larger number of
people and the importance of joint families became a topic of consideration again.

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Talking about bringing up children and family setups under the backdrop of the pandemic, I am
reminded of an article published in the Tribune. The writer, Shaira Mohan, talked about why the
year 2020 had been difficult for her. Hailing from Chandigarh, and settled in Kuala Lumpur, she
would remember the pandemic as a time that fractured her ability to travel back home for the
delivery of her second child. Reminiscing the birth of her first born, she considers the child
privileged to have born in a pre - pandemic world amidst the hustle – bustle of a house teeming
with family – great grandmother, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and pets. She goes on to
say, “Raising a child without the access to the invaluable support of ‘the village’ and made her
feel paralysed.”

Studies show that members of joint family felt more relaxed in general than members of nuclear
families during the lockdown. A survey conducted on sixteen full time mothers of children aged
9-12 years (8 each from joint and nuclear families) analysed five major themes viz., negative
impacts of COVID 19, differences in positive engagement, emotional protective roles, promotion
of positive health habits and activity management. Findings suggest that joint families carry more
resources to positively engage their children in creativity, studies, exercise and entertainment as
compared to nuclear families. Contrary to nuclear families, joint families fared better in resolving
emotional grievances and also in providing economic support to each other. The two also differed
in attending to food habits, health grievances and physical exercise of children and the joint
families again emerged better in managing behaviours, sleep habits, television watching and other
activities of children compared to nuclear families. In joint families, the responsibility of bringing
up a child got divided by a larger number. The greater the denominator, the lesser was the pressure
felt. As a result, children felt safer, more loved and protected.

For those of my readers, who might be wondering why a sudden shift in the topic from schooling
to joint vs nuclear families, I would like to state, that the concept of ‘character building of children’
is immensely close to my heart; and I firmly believe in its importance in shaping a healthier society
and the roles played by teachers, parents and most importantly the elderly family members in that
area. Conscientious character building cannot and should not be separated from parenting or a
teacher’s responsibility. What pains and worries me is how, because of the pandemic, a major
quantum of our children were deprived of this essential connect due to either economic
(inaccessibility to online classes) or social (living in nuclear families and what long term impacts
this might have. Those, handful ones, living in joint families and also with access to online classes
should, whether they agree or not, trust me, should consider themselves very lucky. Talking
particularly about the academic enhancement during these testing times, our present day society
would without fail put the onus of cognitive if not behavioral nurturing on teachers, but the
acknowledgement of any efforts is rather shabby and uncompensated for. To all those teachers,
who worked day and night to minimize the impact of this pandemic on children’s learning; who,
in ample cases, did not let the receipt of their salary (due to reasons known to all but ignored by
many) come in the way of fulfilling their responsibilities and continued to stand by their students
to the very best of their abilities, I, a proud member of this community take this opportunity to
convey my heartfelt gratitude and thank them. Further, I shall fail in my duty if I do not thank
those parents who readily helped the teachers and acknowledged their contributions.

And now, as we gear up to step into the forthcoming academic session (2021 – 22), it is important
that we, as teachers, parents and policy makers, indulge in thorough contemplation. Children of
different age groups will need to be dealt with in different ways. The challenge, as Ms. Rukmini
Banerji rightly points out in her various articles, class I and II students will face is to be acquainted
with the basic disciplinary school set up. These are students who have not experienced formal

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classroom teaching and burdening them with course curriculum will probably be unfair. Similarly,
as the Azim Premji University Study points out, the problem with students in class III and above
is not just the huge loss of foundational learning, but more importantly regression, i.e. children
forgetting the skills and abilities learnt in previous classes. And this phenomenon, in my opinion,
is valid not just for Languages and Mathematics, but extend to Sciences and Social Sciences as
well.
To conclude I would say, 2020 was traumatic. A year that we wish to but will never be able to
erase from our memories. So instead of letting it go absolutely wasted, why not try and pick up
learnings and integrate them in our lifestyles. As for on the education front, a decreased allocation
on funds in our annual budget will probably sharpen the disparity. But a gradual step towards
close knit communities and a healthier way of life would help us tackle things better. Thus in my
opinion, this year let us celebrate the reopening of schools, by welcoming our children to a garden
of happy experiences where they feel loved and in sync with the real world again. In no way am I
suggesting that we do not give due importance to the literacy and numeracy instruction part of
schooling, but probably paying added attention to their psychological wellbeing is the need of the
hour. Let us remember, what we do today will determine the direction of our children’s future.
And what is education, if not learning to learn.

-Posted on Monday, March 22, 2021

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WE ARE DEBTORS, NOT MASTERS

मेरे दशे की िरती सोना उगले उगले हीरे मोती , मरे े दशे की िरती
कयों न पजू े इस माटी को जो जीवन का सखु दते ी है
यहाँो अपना पराया कोई नहीं
है सब पे माोँ उपकार तेरा

मरे े दशे की िरती सोना उगले उगले हीरे मोती ,
मरे े देश की िरती…

This timeless song from the movie Upkar (उपकार) sung by Mahendra Kapoor Ji needs no

introduction. Set in the mid - sixties, the song with its mesmerizing acoustic narration, is sure to,
each time one hears it, paint a picture of the traditional farming mannerisms and customs followed
in the then rural India. The movie, though primarily based on the political scenario of that time
and centered on the famous slogan ‘Jai Jawan, Jai Kisan’, (जय जवान, जय वकसान) is able to give us apt
glimpses of an Indian farmer’s close bonds with his land, soil, cattle, family and fellow beings as
also his love for the nation. The sense of belongingness and responsibility towards ‘matr bhoomi’
shown in this cult classic is till date, despite the change in times, not only relevant but also essential
to be cultivated.
The inevitability of land - the soil, minerals, bio diversity; as the support system for survival and
progress of human life is, beyond a shadow of doubt, well established. Today, owing to the
progress of science, we understand, to a higher extend, the characteristics of our ecosystem and
that its health has direct relationship with our own wellbeing. However, it was only about 12,000
years ago that homo - sapiens transitioned from hunters and food gatherers to food producers, i.e.
discovered the concept of agriculture or should I say began changing the face of earth to nurture
the augmentation of our very race. The onset of this new social order may be marked as the
metamorphosis of human life form, from sheer survivors to co – existers. Fast forward to the ‘age
of industrial and technological enlightenment’ and we suddenly turned into self – proclaimed
‘masters of nature’.

How suicidal this delusionary belief is, needs no more elucidation, but hearing it or rather reading
an economist say it, is bound to leave anyone awestruck. Yes, I am referring to my latest favourite
book, “Small is Beautiful” by E F Schumacher, who with extraordinary subtlety demonstrates the
‘Proper Use of Land’ (including all creatures upon it) as a concept of meta-economic and meta-
physical order. He starts with quoting famous ecologists, Tom Dale and Vernon Gill Carter, as
“Civilized man was nearly always able to become master of his environment temporarily. His
chief troubles came from his delusions that his temporary mastership was permanent. Man,
whether civilized or savage, is a child of nature. He must conform his actions to certain natural
laws if he is to maintain his dominance. When he tries to circumvent the laws of nature, he usually
destroys the natural environment that sustains him. And when his environment deteriorates
rapidly, his civilization declines.”

The depth of our fallacy is so grave that today we actually see ourselves as separate and superior
to nature and believe that someday we might be able to emancipate from our dependence on it.
And where this fundamentally erroneous notion has led us, is a vicious predicament of dichotomy
and confusion. Schumacher explains this by dividing men into ‘producers’ and ‘consumers’.
Following the rules of modern economics, a farmer (man as producer) would implement every
possible method to cut his costs and raise his efficiency, without worrying about eliminating man
as consumer or destroying the health and beauty of landscape. But when asked to consume his

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own produce, he would feel lucky to be able to afford those grown organically, without the use of
any toxics. To conclude, what man as producer can afford is drastically different from what man
as consumer can afford, and since each producer is eventually a consumer, we are all a part of this
spine chilling turmoil. Basically, today we live in a society, where men are willing to poison not
only soil, air, water and other lifeforms but also our own fellow beings, in an attempt to afford
survival from being poisoned himself.

So are we moving back from being co – existers to merely survivors? All I know is that the havoc
caused by exploiting nature for our selfish interests in the name of development hasn’t yet led us
to a happier state. So is there no going back from here? Probably, probably not. What concerns
me, more than the possibility of having caused irreparable damages to land, is the impossibility of
us being able to change our habits to ones more sustainable. But we can certainly try, starting
with, as Schumacher suggests, ‘all economists being ecologists’. Rightly so, economists are the
ones who tell us and measure and compare our progresses; they probably are the ones who
identified consumerism and material belongings as indicators of development. Only when they
accept having missed out on ‘balancing with nature’ as the most vital criteria and tell us to change
our habits by changing the required policies, is there a change of us paying any heed to this subject.
Only when we recognize being tenants and not owners of our nurturing Mother Earth, only when
our environmental stewardship becomes ‘must have’ from ‘nice to have’ without worrying about
greed and bank balance, only when we understand what real progress is will we be able to move
in the right direction.

Referring to Small is Beautiful, the author writes about a four point orientation of goals for man’s
management of land. The first, health, wherein he encourages humans to stay in touch with
nature, take care of its health and in turn it will reciprocate. Sadly today, we treat agriculture as
an industry, something to maximize profits. Soil is a living entity, full of life. Working with it
cannot possibly be like working with man - made machines. The absence of benevolence, kindness
and gratitude (towards all living beings) is the root cause of our current plight. The second aspect,
is restoring and maintaining the beauty of landscape and surroundings with an intent to humanize
and ennoble man’s wider habitat. Gardening then is therapeutic. Imagine how healing and spirit
lifting a superlative degree of gardening be. The third aspect permanence is probably the most
controversial. Schumacher suggests that the movement of population from rural to urban areas,
from agriculture to other industries i.e., going away from nature, is a step in the wrong direction.
To ensure the permanence and sustainability of life, we should be attached to our roots, bring forth
the foodstuffs and other materials needed for a becoming life. But today, even with our growing
knowledge of climate changes and environmental degradation, the ‘consumerist’ and ‘presentist’
society that we live in, aspiring for permanence is only a sad joke. The last and the most relatable
aspect productivity points out the impossibility of limitless production. With our ever increasing
demands as a result of rapidly growing population, the societal economics should emphasize on
our resources not being endless. Our obsession with producing more and consuming more,
without sufficient thought regarding the ecological, environmental-health and social impacts, is
topping us over the edge.

Is it really impossible to blend successfully, the values from our heritage with material wellbeing?
Is it easier to let everything blow up rather than trying to find middle grounds to live in symphony?
And when I say symphony, I mean not just with nature and animals, but fellow human beings. We
seem to have flourished so much, our technological advancements are mind boggling, our material
possessions know no bounds yet our basic problems of poverty, unemployment, socio - economic
disparity, crime, violence etc., never seem to diminish. So are we really doomed? The answer

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might not be as simple as one might think. Our inability to overcome these hindrances of
happiness, point to a direction higher than our social science rationale, to something more
spiritual, metaphysical and met economical.

There is a universal agreement that human labour is a fundamental source of wealth. Modern
economic theories however make us believe, the lesser the human effort the better off we are.
Providing appropriate technological solutions has become synonymous with expansion, an
increase in the labour force, not so much. As a result, not only has unemployment increase
drastically, those employed have more machines as colleagues than humans, which in turn is
making us like them - obsessed with precision and devoid of emotions. Use of technology is vital,
it helps eliminate errors, but how do we curb its negative impacts on our psyche? Schumacher
answers this with his ground breaking concept of Technology with a Human Face.

Advanced technology he says recognizes no self - limiting principles, in terms of size, speed or
violence and possess no virtues of self - balancing, self - adjusting or self – cleaning, which in the
subtle system of nature is bound act like a foreign body and eventually face rejection. So instead
of pushing towards an ultimate breakdown, he suggests the usage of tools instead of machines.
Tools that will assist us and make our work easy, not machines that replace us and make us their
slaves. Tools that can be used and are affordable for most of us, not machines that can be operated
and are affordable for just a handful. Gandhi Ji had said, “The poor of the world cannot be helped
by mass production, only by production by the masses.” Thus the technology appropriate for use
is one that involves production by the masses and as Schumacher says ‘mobilises the priceless
resource which are possessed by all human beings - their clever brains and skillful hands.’
Productive work is curative; reducing the work load is not always a good thing. And what working
with these tools will restore is the enjoyment and educational value of that journey before we
reach our final destination (i.e. completing the task). So how do we introduce these tools to the
masses? Can the ‘educated’ play any significant role here? Indeed.
All of us, ‘the educated lot’ have roots in the villages, either our own generation or our ancestors.
And those left back home, had certainly made sacrifices while sending us to the cities. Also, they
would have expected this migration, to benefit them in some way, in the long run. But, how many
of us today realize what we owe them? Or did the bling of our ‘forward city lives’ blind us? The
answer is not something we would boast of. We are guilty of forgetting our duty towards our
villages. Repercussions, needless to state; we are all aware of them.

To wrap up I would say, our fate as a species depends on the state of our relationship with land
and all its inhabitants and they have all had enough of our selfishness and greed. What will justify
the whole process of civilization, is a state of general happiness and peaceful co-existence. But if
we do not mend our ways and keep testing their patience any further, we are sure to head towards
self – destruction. After all, we too are (just like them) members of a biological community, not
their masters.

-Posted on Monday, February 8, 2021

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CORRUPTIO OPTIMI PESSIMA

In their speeches, all our leaders talk about the development of the nation. Our present Prime
Minister Mr. Modi once said “I have a vision of a Modern India. I have embarked on a huge
mission to convert that vision into reality. My mantra is Development.”

The concept of development is almost as old as civilization; it has been the driving force behind
all progress in the history of mankind. And although in the current modern times, it finds the most
amount of mention while describing economic and monetary state of affairs, it is pertinent to all
walks of human life, whether social, technological, psychological or personal. Development is a
phenomenon, so holistic and fundamental that if understood closely it would help define the very
purpose of our lives, but how often do we see it that way? The book that I am currently reading,
‘Small is Beautiful – A Study of Economics as if People Mattered’ by E F Schumacher has touched
my heart indescribably and helped me see things in a very different light, the mention of which
will be frequently seen in the current and probably even my next article.

So, what is development? For me, development is simply the process that creates a positive
change. However, after the era of Industrial Revolution, the idea shifted from ‘a generic construct
that designates the most varied aspects related to humanity’s well-being’, to the ‘use of latest
technology’ (especially in manufacturing processes). From then on, it became a yardstick to rank
and compare all nations. With GDP and per capita income being the only initial indicators of level
of development, we have now moved to a much wider range of parameters. One such popularly
used parameter is the Human Development Index. The HDI may be understood as a statistical tool
to measure a country’s overall achievement based on the health of people, their level of education
attainment and their standard of living. The process of calculation of HDI is a different topic
altogether, but what I would like to come at in this article is the importance of education in the
development of a nation. Even in the book, Schumacher has dedicated an entire chapter to
education, calling it ‘the greatest and the most vital of all resources’.

The contribution of education in the progress of a society is not an undiscovered idea. The question
then to be asked is not ‘if or how education aids development’, the real question is ‘what kind of
education will aid real development’? And by real development, I mean a long term sustainable
change, not just for the environment or for few sections of the society, but for the entire (or at least
majority of) populace. Talking about the kind of education, are there different types of education?
There surely are different subjects and specialties and super specialties to be studied, but all in a
structured setup of classrooms at organizations like schools and colleges, and from textbooks or
other prescribed sources of information to ultimately attain an impressive score card or a degree
and secure a financially prosperous future. That is the motto we adhere to and that is the only
method of education we know of. What rubbish is this idea about ‘kind of education’ then? To
understand this better, let us look back at the evolution of education.

Education probably dates back to the cave age, when humans started living in groups and taught
their children skills they needed to become effective adults - like hunting, gathering, weapon
making, finding life sustaining resources like food, water, shelter, etc. Though such education or
rather passing on of knowledge did not happen in institutions, it was enough to help humans
survive to see this present day. The first structured education emerged during 3000 BC in
Mesopotamia and Egypt, after the discovery of writing, basically with an intent to provide moral
teachings and religious instructions. Education during those times was provided as a by – product
of learning and adhering to the dominant religious ideology. It was during the medieval times that

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questions about how the universe works, the concepts of rotation and revolution and Earth being
round started emerging, and sharing of knowledge started to expand across the globe. India is
often classified as one of the most ancient nations with rich legacies of culture and literary pursuits.
Traditionally, only the boys from high caste or rich families were taught to read and write. In
1813, the British government in India took the responsibility of spreading education, replacing the
Indian system with English Literature and Western Science through English medium. Lord
Macaulay, who played an important role in this, expressed his mission to create a class of persons
who should be ‘Indian in blood and colour but English in taste, opinions, morals and intellect.’
The aim was to educate the Indian elite primarily and wait for the effect to ‘trickle down’.

Being an educator, there is no way I could belittle the importance of structured education and
scientific advancements it has led to, facilitating our lives with the modern day provisions and
comforts. But looking at the challenges that we face today, my moral conscience does not allow
me to turn a blind eye towards the lacunas in our education system. It is as Schumacher points
out, “Science and engineering produce ‘know – how’; but ‘know – how’ is nothing by itself; it is
a means without an end, a mere potentiality, an unfinished sentence. There is no doubt about the
need to transmit 'know – how' but this must take second place, for it is obviously somewhat
foolhardy to put great powers into the hands of people without making sure that they have a
reasonable idea of what to do with them. At present, there can be little doubt that the whole of
mankind is in mortal danger, not because we are short of scientific and technological know – how,
but because we tend to use it destructively, without wisdom. More education can help us only if
it produces more wisdom."

The problem today, as I’ve mentioned multiple times before, is that we concentrate on the
attainment of knowledge, deep intricate details. What we lack is teaching where and how to apply
that knowledge. The prime goal of our fraternity, which in my understanding should be moulding
children into positive, productive and contributory members of society, is not clearly understood.
What drives much of our educational structure today is merely the preparation for future needs of
various industries. Preparing for foreseeable future demands is essential, but it becomes dangerous
if the preparation is too narrow. The obvious dilemma here is that society needs only a limited set
of academics and at some point education must do more than just prepare students for an academic
way of life. If students leave schools equipped with the skills, they will require to be self - directed
learners then they may well be equipped to adapt to a changing world.

There is no fixed formula or logic applicable to problem solving in the real life. And unlike
mathematical equations, problems in life do not have fixed correct answers. But sadly, the standard
dominant model of our education with its rigid approach to building knowledge, enforces
conformity of the mind often dulling the curiosity of young minds. To quote from the movie ‘A
Beautiful Mind’, “Classes will dull your mind. Destroy the potential for authentic creativity.”

As mentioned in ‘Small is Beautiful’, G N M Tyrell emphasized on the terms ‘divergent’ and
‘convergent’ to distinguish problems which cannot be solved by logical reasoning from those that
can. Thus convergent problems are those that do not as such exist in real life but can be solved,
written down and explained to others easily. If we examine carefully, our entire education
curriculum is full of solving such convergent problems. When we teach the law of demand or
supply, we take help of ‘ceteris paribus’. And though I agree that such explanation is essential in
teaching the effect of each factor, the methodology might actually be hampering our kids’
creativity, diffusing their ability to deal with real life scenarios. As Schumacher puts it “Dealing
with convergent problems does not lead into life but away from it.”

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Divergent problems on the other hand are problems we really face, problems that do not
necessarily have a single or a fixed correct answer, at times might not even have an answer.
Problems of politics, economics, education, marriage, etc; problems with reconciling opposites,
where solutions cannot be found by any clever formula. These are problems that are exhausting
and wearisome, and hence we try to run away from them or dodge them.

What our education should aim at, is boosting their inquisitive and creative instincts and value
their ‘out of the box’ thinking, thus getting our young adults ready, to simplify (if not solve) these
divergent problems. And that will come about only if we encourage kids to become learners for
life. As life – long learners, our kids will desire to continuously gather more knowledge and learn
new skills, enabling them to seek answers to questions not yet answered and even those not yet
asked. If our students leave school with a belief in their ability and capacity to identify problems
and find solution to them, then maybe they are prepared not only for whatever the future may
bring but possess the capacity to shape that future.

But problem solving alone may not be enough. If the solutions, we find serve the needs of only of
those who have power and freedom in society then education has failed to produce learners with
the capacity to empathize with those less fortunate. The reality of the world we live in, where
money and power results in educational advantage, where industry and economic rationalism
dictates what problems get solved and where those with the greatest need have difficulty accessing
equitable outcomes through the educational system, dictates that some thought to how our learners
will understand and relate to power be included. Thus another integral feature of education must
be embedding in children metaphysical notions of ethics, moral values, empathy and a deep sense
of social responsibility, as the supposedly ‘trickle down’ effect hasn’t been much functional in the
field of education. Education should enable an individual to act an agent of curbing the
corruption (which seems to be at its peak) because as per Schumacher CORRUPTIO
OPTIMI PESSIMA meaning thereby corruption of the best is the worst of all.
To conclude I’d quote E F Schumacher, “Education can help us only if it produces ‘whole men’.
The truly educated man is not a man who knows a bit of everything, not even the man who knows
all the details of all subjects (if such a thing is possible): the ‘whole man’, in fact may have little
knowledge of facts and theories, but he will be truly in touch with the centre. He will not be in
doubt about his basic convictions, about his view on menacing and purpose of his life. He may
not be able to explain these matters in words, but the conduct of his life will show a certain
sureness of touch which stems from his inner clarity. We are suffering from a metaphysical
disease, and the cure must therefore be metaphysical. Education which fails to clarify our central
convictions is mere training. For it is our central convictions that are in disorder, and, as long as
the present temper persists, the disorder will grow worse.

-Posted on Monday, January 18, 2021

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THE TRUTH OF LIES

“Ashwathama hatha, Iti narova kunjarova”

“Ashwathama is dead”, said Yudishthir, “I don’t know if it’s a man or an elephant”, he murmured.
With conches being blown by the Pandava army as the second part of the sentence was being said
(thus making it inaudible), Guru Dronacharya was led to believe that his son Ashwathama had
died. Hearing this, the shaken Guru Drona lost his will to fight and fell to the ground.

We are all well acquainted with the above episode from the Kurukshetra War in Mahabharat which
ultimately ended with the almost invincible Guru Drona laying down his weapons in grief and
being executed by Dhristadyumna. The incident holds great significance in the Hindu Mythology,
which got the Pandavas closer to winning the war against evil.

The question that each one of us then ask is, is it okay to deceive / lie? The quest to identify right
from wrong, just from unjust, good from evil is something that has vexed the human race for
centuries and will continue to do so. A world without any moral and ethical dilemmas, where
people do not attempt to do wrong or have to worry about being wronged could probably be
absolutely tranquil and blissful, and the desire for such a world will take us closer to spirituality,
a topic so wide that discussing it here would not be justified. The truth still remains that in our
tangible world, both right and wrong, truth and lie, fair and unfair will always exist. And the least
we can and should do to not add to the negatives is follow societal rules (both legal and moral)
that resonate with ensuring communal harmony.

Lying is not a recently developed trait. The beginning of lying or the act of deceiving, is believed
to date back to when we started cooperating with one another and using language to communicate.
It is only when ‘X’ is willing to cooperate with ‘Y’ that ‘Y’ gets an opportunity to lie. And
although we would like to think of lying as some sort of an aberration from normal human
behavior, the truth is painfully different.

Recent past has witnessed negative examples when Harshad Mehta, Neerav Modi and likes came
into light. There lies or concealing of truths became famous because of how massively damaging
the repercussions were. But none of us here can, with a clear conscience, claim to have never
indulged in this insincere behavior.

So if lying is such a fundamental part of human nature and being deceitful is woven in our very
fabric, why is honesty considered the best policy? Why do all our preaching and teachings
advocate honesty as a good virtue and lying as bad? It is because being cheated or lied to is
generally undesirable. Lying might be something most of us are very adept at, but the realization
of being on the other side of the fence, is unpleasant. So then why don’t we simply stop trusting
and cooperating with one another? No trust and no cooperation will leave no room for the
possibility of deceit. But would that be a world worth living in?

A world without trust and cooperation can only be described as insecure, chaotic, commotional
and anarchic. The absence of trust makes people fearful, protective, secretive and suspicious.
Lying comes easy to us, on the other hand trusting as it turns out also comes naturally to us. Our
need to trust others is as fundamental as our capacity for dishonesty. Humans are social beings
born to interact and to be interacted with one another, of which trusting is an integral character.
Lying is detrimental and certainly diminishes trust between fellow beings, but being lied to is still
easier to handle than being cynical and distrusting everyone around.

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Having established that both – truth and lying will always co-exist, were all our moral science
classes and stories about ‘Satyamev Jayate’ futile and merely a ritual? Absolutely not. The aim
was to prevent us and our children from turning into ‘compulsive liars’ because incessant lying
will make the world a miserable place to live in. To cite an incident from my own life, a child
once asked me if his father, who indulged in a little income tax muddle, was doing the wrong
thing. He was with his father during vacations and tried to reason out with father to be honest. So
his straight question to me was why students were told to be honest and not tell a lie ever. To
answer him was both essential and tricky. Thus the learning I gave him was, when you grow up,
you might have to do things that aren’t always right, you might have to choose to do a few wrong
things. The only right thing about such situations would be to not feel happy or proud about doing
the wrong thing.

Thus as responsible members of society, we should pick honesty, and in situations where we
cannot, the feeling of guilt and realization of having resorted to lying should not be absent. The
premise of this lies in understanding the various incentives we see when choosing to be
untruthful.

The reasons an individual, adult or child, might lie are multiple and varied. One of the most
prominent reasons, I believe is fear, the fear of being judged, the fear of punishment or the fear of
embarrassment. To avoid being judged or punished for wrongdoing, is one of the most common
motives people lie, regardless of their age. For e.g., a child who hasn’t finished his homework
might lie about having completed it but forgetting the notebook at home. An adult might find it
easier to state the reason for being late to work as a flat tyre rather than admitting that he overslept.
Such lies are usually told with an intention to protect one’s reputation because we do not like
being judged or punished or be embarrassed among our peers or teachers or boss. Another very
common motive to portray a false image is reward or benefit. If by telling an uncle that he did
exceedingly well in his final exams, a child receives a box of his favourite chocolates, he would
go ahead and lie. Moreover, he might also try to conceal from his parents, the reward or admitting
that he lied for it. An adult might lie about his accomplishments at his last workplace at an
interview for a new job.

The second most common reason that people lie is to protect other people they care about from
harm. When we want to protect a friend, a colleague, a sibling or anyone we care about from being
punished or getting into trouble, we lie. And we do it even if we do not approve the person we are
protecting doing what they did that put them in danger. Helping them in their act makes us equally
guilty of this moral offence just like helping someone commit a crime makes us an accountable to
legal offence. In hindsight, people might also lie about something someone actually did not do to
get them in trouble or get them punished. This is usually done by taking undue advantage of a
person who is in power and trusts you to get someone you don’t like or feel animosity towards,
get punished. Both adults and children have been seen resort to such acts that are purely selfish
and wicked.

Another common reason people lie is to be polite, avoid awkward situations or to avoid hurting
someone. We might lie about how pretty someone looks or how delicious a dish our neighbour
cooked is or how well a child performed. These are false appreciations, not necessarily with selfish
interests but just to encourage or be polite or simply because stating the truth is far more
complicated and unpleasant than lying. The driving force in such lies might be the other person’s
expectations to be appreciated. Such a behaviour might seem harmless in isolated incidents, but
making this a habit would have long term consequences.

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Another important reason a person would choose to lie is to see if they can get away with it. Lying
can at times be thrilling. Many children will at some point in time lie to their parents or teachers
simply to see if they can do it. Withholding information makes both adults and children feel
powerful and in control. This is a red flag situation for if unchecked it could be the beginning of
a simple lie turning into an enjoyable habit.

If lying turns into a habit, it will show a snowball effect and in no time the liar shall find themselves
in the middle of a vicious never ending circle of sham. We say one lie and then a second to cover
the first and then a third to cover the second and so on till we either fool our target or get caught.
To nip this trap in the bud, we must ensure that we provide our children and also fellow beings an
environment that encourages honesty.

To start with, we should be honest ourselves. It sounds obvious and is one of the most effective
ways. If we do not want our kids to lie, we shouldn’t lie to them. Teaching kids that honesty is
important and then also lying to them sends out a mixed message. This applies to all the ‘white or
harmless’ lies and also lies that we tell because we would rather not have our children know the
truth, because sooner or later, they will grow up and realize what the truth was. Another important
step is to win their trust and help them confide in you. If a child feels safe sharing a mistake with
a parent or teacher without fearing being judged or misunderstood or punished unfairly, the
chances of a child resorting to being untruthful, drastically decreases. The disciplining in such
situations needs to be done very calmly and tactfully. Punishments doled out harshly and
arbitrarily will stop them from taking responsibility for any faulty actions in the future. For e.g.,
in situations where we do not have a clear indication of which one of the two children is lying, we
should abstain from punishing one and rewarding the other. Because just in case, our judgement
of the matter turns out faulty, the ‘corrective action’ would actually become closer to an unfair
disaster. Other measures which must be practiced regularly are telling positive stories, indulging
in an open conversation, and acknowledging and appreciating every time the child chooses to be
truthful.

I would like to conclude by saying that the question ‘sach kya hai aur jhooth kya hai’ (what is the
ultimate truth and what all is false) or rather ‘sahi kya hai aur galat kya hai’ (what is right and
what is wrong) is difficult to answer and might haunt humankind forever. And how much ever
desirable a world without lying, cheating and deception, without the question of ‘sach ya jhooth’
may seem, accepting them as a part and parcel of our behavioral evolution, in fact of our very
existence is the only choice we have. But the least that we can and should do is, instilling in
ourselves and our children, the basic understanding that lying and deceiving is wrong and
undesirable and not an accomplishment to be proud of, a behavior that should be avoided and at
all costs prevent them from turning into pathological or compulsive liars. A few innocent lies – of
everyday life here and there can still be lived with. It is when people use lies that are pure evil, to
manipulate others or to purposely mislead that it becomes more worrisome and must be stopped.

Oscar Wilde had said, “I can resist everything except temptation”. With this New Year 2021
dawning upon us, let us resolve to resist temptations like deception and delusion by
exercising traits like self - control, compassion, truthfulness, honesty and loyalty to make
our lives happier and more fulfilling.

Wishing all my readers a Happy and Prosperous New Year 2021

-Posted on Monday, January 4, 2021

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