MY LOST SUNFLOWER

MY LOST SUNFLOWER D A N I E L J A Z L A N I F Y O U D O N ’ T M E A N T T O M E I W I L L N E V E R C R Y W H E N Y O U S A I D L E T S S T A Y A W A Y

B E F O R E Y O U S W I M D O W N T H I S B O O K , I W O U L D R E C O M M E N D T O C O M F O R T Y O U R E A R S W I T H Y O U R T I N Y L I T T L E E A R P H O N E . A N D L I S T E N T O Y O U R F A V O U R I T E C U R R E N T S O N G S O R , I W O U L D L O V E T O R E C O M M E N D T O L I S T E N T O " S E A R O W S " P L A Y L I S T S W H I L E R E A D I N G T H I S . Y O U ' R E W E L C O M E . R E C O M M E N D A T I O N MY LOST SUNFLOWER

O U R S T O R I E S I N S I D E Y O U W I L L F I N D MY LOST SUNFLOWER FUNDAMENTAL OF ART 1 RONALDO WAKE ME UP AT LIBRARY YOUR BIRTHDAY THE PLASTER YOU GAVE ME OLD MAN FOR MALAYSIAN STUDIES

MY LOST SUNFLOWER LET’S TALK ARABIC LET’S MATCHING “BARBIE ON THE GROUND, MERMAID IN THE WATER” CHANGE PEOPLE’S PERSPECTIVE THE DAY I DIDN’T REALISE YOU WERE GONE DISRUPTED MIND PURE TEARS AT RESTING HUT CALLA LILY

THIS IS WHERE ALL MY FEELINGS STAY. WHERE ALL THE THINGS ABOUT YOU, ABOUT US HAVE BEEN TOLD. WHERE ALL MY TEARS WILLINGLY JOIN THE INK FROM THE PEN I USE. WHEN YOU DID NOT GIVE ME THE ANSWER, THIS IS ALSO THE PLACE WHERE I USED TO FIND THE ANSWER FOR ME, FOR US. NOT ALL THE PEOPLE LIKE IT, BUT IF IT TOUCHES YOUR HEART ONCE, DON’T ASK WHY. MY LOST SUNFLOWER Q U O T E S BEST VERSION OF YOU

O U R S T O R I E S L E T M E B E C L E A R , O U R S T O R I E S A R E C O M P L I C A T E D , E X C I T I N G A N D H A R D T O E X P L A I N . P E O P L E W I L L S A Y I T ’ S A C O M M O N D R A M A T H A T T H E Y H A V E W A T C H E D 1 0 0 T I M E S O N T V . B U T W H A T M A K E S I T D I F F E R E N T A N D P R O D I G I O U S I S W H E N T H E Y S L O W L Y U N D E R S T A N D E V E R Y S I N G L E A L P H A B E T T H A T I W I L L P O R T R A Y I N T H I S B O O K . I T ' S J U S T A N O R M A L R O M A N T I C S T O R Y . B U T F O R M E , T H I S S T O R Y C A N ’ T B E C O M P A R E D T O A N Y O F T H O S E R O M A N T I C S T O R I E S O U T T H E R E . I T I S A S T O R Y O F T W O C O L L E G E S T U D E N T S T R Y I N G T O P R O T E C T T H I E R R E L A T I O N S H I P . O R I S I T O N L Y O N E . MY LOST SUNFLOWER

F U N D A M E N T A L O F A R T 1 I remember running nervously to get in our first class. Fundamental of art 1. I was late. Once I knocked on the door, every eye in the class moved towards me, and so your eyes, reflecting on the door sound. Later, the lecturer played me a joke that said I was in the wrong class and everyone laughed at me, me either. The joke’s done, I rapidly find the available chair to join the class. And that is where all it begins, my eyes stuck looking at yours, and so my brain started asking me about you, and I had no idea about you. I told them, I know nothing about you but, my brain, my eyes, my ears, my mouth, my hand, my leg, literally my whole body begging me to get close to you, so they will know you. Once I started to agree with what they asked, suddenly I noticed my heart, he is the only one that is quiet. And I asked my heart “don’t you get excited like the others?” , he said “if this is the true one, don’t make me regret it okay”. And I tried to convince him that she is the one and finally he agreed. The class finished, everyone MY LOST SUNFLOWER ١

MY LOST SUNFLOWER ٢ moving on the chair and reaching out the door knob while me slowly moving and looking at you, without you realising it. And that is where I started to officially announced you as my true lover and I will make us happen. Days go by, I am still writing and listing down all the ways to reach you out, so you will know me. Unfortunately, I realised that I am not good at flirting and all that kind of stuff. Hence, I started to involve and shine in class so you will know me and seek me for help. I tried my best to be the most knowledgeable person in class, not because I want to be better than the others but, I want you to ask me for help. It always comes to my mind when I think about how I used to draw my dad’s face using Chinese ink and little twigs that I collected around the parking lot at my hostel. I showed it to the whole class and hoped for your little attention. And I was on cloud nine when I think I am the only one who did everything my lecturer asked for. Time goes by, from that class we learn more about perspective, drawing equipment and oil pastel. And yeah, I have succeded in making you ask me for help and

MY LOST SUNFLOWER I remember how awkward we used to be. At the end of semester, we had our first exhibition and you were chosen as our class representative. And from there I started to spend more time looking at you in our meeting in google meet that you made. I wish we never end the meeting, so my eyes could meet yours a little more. During setup day, I hold the black panel to hang our artwork and you come and ask me about the arrangement. What's funny inside this incident is, I’m glad that there were others holding the black panel too for the reason that I felt like I started to fall when your voice soothing all the space in my ears. In the fullness of time, we were all done setting up the artworks, I saw you heading out the hall to go home. Unfortunately, my mouth was too shy to spill its words to you. Even if just asking about how you feel today. Going back to the hostel, everytime I see the sky turning darker, I ask the moon about you. So we can look at the same moon at the same time. By all these means, I am still trying and planning to make you as part of the main character in my life. ٣