T H E K I N D A - L I K E - A M A G A Z I N E LITERARY MAGAZINE SPECIAL EDITION | 2023 2 JUST TRYING TO HELP PEOPLE IN ANY WAY WE CAN https://bit.ly/3U1BnCG
Editor's Note 1 Dear Readers, As I start this new year with this particular edition, I would like to remind you that it is not the amount that matters most, but the quality of what you give and search for. Home is a place that is hard to find and a place where you can cry and be yourself. This time of year is always the happiest and yet the saddest because you begin to reflect, to seek a home better than your old one—but maybe it's time to realize that you have everything you need in front of you; home is here. So to encapsulate this recent year and this new year, I decided to create a special edition of collective memories—secrets and journals—called dear future me or somewhere in between,. A place where people can revisit and empathetically feel and be understood—a place of home. I hope you will find yourself less alone, after reading this edition; and special thanks to those who contributed and truly stepped out: being vulnerable yet making a difference of solace (in this big, cold, congenial world). With Tons of Love, Izumi G.H. Founder of "Kindalikea.not.therapists"
Table of Contents 2 Letters Cover Art by Jiyoon Lee dear someone out there, ................................................................3 dear past me, ..................................................................................4 dear love, ........................................................................................5 dear middle school me, .................................................................6 dear future me, ...............................................................................7 dear music, .....................................................................................8 dear time, ........................................................................................9 dear rain, ......................................................................................10 dear future me, .............................................................................11 dear best friend, ...........................................................................12 dear me, ........................................................................................13 Back Cover Art by K
dear someone out there, 3 [dear someone out there, this wasn't gonna be a letter but i guess it will be now] you know sometimes i feel like i'm just trying to breathe and everything sometimes seems so hard to do. like what am i doing here writing my feelings. {long pause} i. just don't know. because i thought i was everything and now i realize how alone i am so broken and hiding and shattered and i'm just can you help me because why am i here and why does everyone else seem to be better at pretending that their life is amazing when its not. am i wasting time by writing out my feelings will i even find my place, find a home that will know me, get me, love me, finally see my worth—a man? how do i live when sometimes, it just feels so tough and tears well up in me, and yet im still drowning and why doesn't anyone understand. you know sometimes my life seems like a movie does that make sense idk like every crying moments in the bathroom or leaving "home," i feel like there's some soundtrack or background music that just depicts every moment. being a human hurts. and ik its true but wtf am i supposed to do with that because even i rarely make time for myself to breathe, to cry, to scream because i feel like i can't be happy, don't deserve to, that as soon as this happiness is over, ill be sad again, that i wish for it while i'm fucking happy, is that fucking psychotic? maybe its just me, maybe you'll never understand because no one can possibly understand i just hope its enough that you get it. like how are people so perfect and pretty and everything im not and why do i procrastinate and to get to the point: this year has been tbh so fucking hard but i think last year i had it the worst we all did but idk this year, December sucks real bad because i don't know i just feel like im just writing whatever comes out of my stupid fucking mouth but i think i can get through it because i know im not alone. in a way. [The way i wished you love me, Nad]
dear past me, 4 Dear past me, I wish you could see how things end up. I wish I could share to you how much better life gets. From your perspective it seems like there is no hope and no purpose to life. You are just waiting on a miracle that will fix your problems. Your miracle came and it’s name is motivation. It is gonna take some time but if you keep doing what you love and being yourself then you will find it. People will start to understand you and like you. Your life will get better every single year. I can’t believe I’m saying this but despite how hard everything is for you right now, you end up happy and with a real tangible future. Sincerely, your bright future P.S. PLEASE stop wearing those polo shirts
dear love, 5 Dear love, Before last year, I'd only ever heard stories about love, and from what I heard it was confusing, messy and everything in between. But what I wondered was it all worth it? I wondered if love is when you find that one person that feels like home? That one person that you feel safe with that you feel you could spend every second of every day with? But now I know love runs endlessly, it's when you feel so strongly about that one person they're always on your mind, you spend endless hours awake thinking about them. And even when it's all over you can't move on, even though you know it would be better for you both. But you refuse to let go of the one person that makes you feel special. That person means the world to you and they don't know how much you care or how you would drop everything for them. If you could have another chance you would change the world for them just to see that smile on their face and know you are the only one for them. Maybe I love too hard, but at least I got to experience all of it and now I know its worth it. From, Idek
dear middle school me, 6 Dear middle school me, I wanted to write to you about all that happened. You’re under the influence that when you hit a low you’ll be there forever, and that’s simply not the case. Everything is like an ocean with passing waves. Theres times where everything is calm and there’s times where it feels like you’re slipping under. Knowing this, you have to enjoy when it is peaceful and calm, because you can’t control when everything us good or bad. Over this year alone a lot has happened, but by the time new years came it was all back to normal. Everything came back to a peaceful beginning and let me leave behind what had been holding me back. When everything seems like too much try to take a step back and look inward. Think about all you have and what you don’t need. If someone has been disrespectful or unkind to you, it’s not going to hurt you if you leave that unhealthy friendship behind. Remember to focus on your own mental wellbeing while also making sure you aren’t hurting the feelings of another by doing so. Loving yourself isn’t selfish, its a way to find peace and happiness. I know i’m talking like a hippy essential oils mom right now but I really don’t want care right now because this us how I feel. Another thing, if you find an interest, pursue it. You are in charge of building your future. You don’t need perfect grades or a bunch of ap classes (though those can help you), focus on mastering what you feel is important to your field of work. Focus on getting the experience to be able to exceed in whatever you want to do. You’ll thank yourself for it in the future. -bee
dear future me, 7 Dear future me, I hope you get to accomplish all your aspirations you strive to achieve. As you have always wanted to work in healthcare, becoming a pediatrician was always your goal in life, and hopefully, in the near future, that is your job. Your dream is to excel in high school and get into an ivy with a good program for a pre-med major. With graduating and moving on from high school, I hope you can graduate with no regrets. I hope you can achieve whatever you put your mind to, and you will never let anything get in the way of that. I hope you can overcome any obstacle thrown your way, and you can always recover from it. As you grow up, I hope you can always learn from your mistakes and mature with grace. I hope you can always bring yourself up from anything, even if it's the lowest part of your life. I hope you can take all this advice to heart and can grow as an independent individual as you progress in life. From your past self, Hope
dear music, 8 Dear Music, You get me through so much. I don't think I'll ever have the ability to arrange words to show my appreciation for this form of art. Listening to music is like an escape from reality at times, and can melt away your issues in a split second. Music has many other qualities and uses, but I can guarantee that many share the same thoughts and feelings about music as I do. No matter the genre, the tempo, the person; there is a song, accompanied by an artist, that can fit your mood and needs. Whenever I am sad, happy, or feeling myself; there is a song. It might not be exactly how I'm feeling, or it could be the right way to describe all of the emotions that I'm feeling in that moment. It's a gamble with music, and I'm willing to give it a chance. In a way, it's how I can connect with others. It's a way for me to, as silly as it sounds, feel seen in a population of seven billion people. That's what music does for me, and many others. Thank you, Beu
dear time, 9 Dear Time, You're probably the biggest douchebag ever. why do you always slip out of grasp? who said you could use me and take me apart? why do you always fly by without a hi? when im asleep with the stars and awake with the sun, always there but always so far. when i try to touch you, you jump away and leave me, hanging. With all that I have, dropped and done, and gone—when can i see you? Hear you? You overwhelm me, you make me cry, and you make me feel alone, but you also make me happy, you make me see that everything will always be okay, that things will brighten up, that you always have protected me and that there are always those, who are willing to make me feel loved. The presents of memories that you bring, the love of relationships that you arise with, and the hugs that you give, make me so joyful at times. You make me so full and so happy. But when you hit, you hit hard: and sometimes, I long for those days, and sometimes, I fear it. Why are you so untouchable? So intimidating? Is it because you don't have anyone else to be with, that you are so superior? Maybe you are lonely and are wanting a friend who can be in competition with the time you whirl by. Maybe you need someone to recognize you too, at times. Well, I see you and the work that you do. I hate you at times, indeed, for not telling me what I'm doing at the moment, which will make me regret it, but you sure are recognizable at times—bringing those bad moments to light with good karma and helping others become healthier. So thank you, but I hope that one day, we can actually meet face-to-face, and then I'll be less alone. Please drop by soon, Nyx By the way, you're actually really amazing
dear rain, 10 Dear Rain, You’ve meant a lot through the years. From bad walks to school to afternoons of Johnny Test at camp, we’ve been through a lot together. If I’m being honest, I didn’t really like you until last year. If I’m being even more honest, the first time I said I liked you, it was a lie. I wanted to impress a boy and I did, so thanks for that. The boy meant a lot to me, but I was bad at showing it. I led with my emotions and never stopped to check my negative feelings. You were there for some happy memories with him, though. That night when he and I talked on the phone while he sat on his roof in the rain and the time he and I spun in the rain together. I’m not with him anymore (that’s for the best probably), but I still think of him each time you come around. He likes you more than I do, so whenever you’re near me I hope he feels you too. It’s nice having something good to wish for him. Someday I’ll love you without him. Your friend, Harold the Teddy Bear
dear future me, 11 Dear future me, It is currently January 2023, and towards the middle of my junior year. Even though the year started out rough, things have been looking up recently. My relationships, my school life, my health, have all been 100 percent, and I am hopeful that life continued to be the in a positive place. I am not certain how far in the future this letter will come back into my life, but I hope I got into the college of my dreams, and was provided with the funds to pay for this dream school of mine. I hope my relationships stayed genuine, and maybe even became stronger. I want to explore new things in life, and become the person that I aspire to be one day. With sincerity and love, yourself
dear best friend, 12 Dear Best Friend, I thought you would always be by my side but as the years go by and suddenly you find new friends, it doesn't seem to be. But I guess even the term, "best friend," is superficial. No one's really your "best friend" but now I see that I was wrong. You wanted forever and told me you wished we would stay forever but I guess you broke that first and I was the one left, stranded and betrayed. And I get it, times change and we grow and drift apart, but why did we have to? Why did you have to prove fate right? Why and when did we change so much that we don't even know each other anymore? Now I won't see you anymore and I wonder if you even have the picture of us, still hanging beside your mirror, where I placed it last. I wish you knew how I felt, but as the days go by, the saddest part, is that I don't see you feeling the same. When did you become mine but I wasn't yours? Am I the only one still holding onto these frayed edges that have already been torn out? But one day, you will regret ever drifting from me, not smiling at me anymore and welcoming me into your open arms. even after I treated you still with open warmth. One day, I'll be unreachable and be someone that you wished you held on tighter, instead of you leaving me to be with someone and not reaching out to more. One day, I'll be good enough for you and we can sing with Holly again. Somewhere down the road, Gracie
dear me, 13 Dear me, Sitting on a plateau above vast scenery of ocean, waves, and memory. How high the tides come, how far the caps rise. From above you view a rip current pulling into the sunset foam bubbles of absurdity folding through folds of melancholy; an upset cutting through tranquility with a torrent of confusion, a river dividing a will to swim to shore with an ever overpowering helplessness. You were there, and so was I. our feet unable to feel the seabed, what was the reason, why? Our stomach caving in from the pressure, the crystal blue butterflies shattering, forever leaving our hearts cut and torn but it was sworn, between you and I, by our code of life, between you and I, for the poor fish and divers swimming to no avail, call out to them. To the left! To the right! Call out to them. Hope they understand, they do what's right for themselves, hope they understand, for you cannot steer the levanter. Yours truly, S. K. — yourself
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” —Søren Kierkegaard thank you for reading till the end 14