Fireworks explode In my heart and above Our heads however Our attention Is not on them Fizzling sparks Reflect in your eyes Catching me by suprise M i n t & C i n n a m o n Fizzling Sparks 51 Translation by Megumi Jindo
Open Book is about me and my life and in the poem, you'll see despite adversity, life still hasn't broken me. Open Book will help people see that you can go through so much and still your story isn't over. Kyoko W. P. I' m an open book Turn the page and take a look Inside you 'll find every emotion and pain that still needs healing The once frightened child My thoughts gone wild The tears that I' ve Every page, every cried chapter All the times I' ve Will have you wonder how tried life hasn 't snapped her The love in my soul Things I can 't control 52 Open Book
Nesrina Ahmed I always try to get up on my own But it keeps getting harder and harder Because what if I lose myself completely This time? What if I can 't save me before I do? Falling Harder 53
Hold me tight like the ground has embraced the mountains and trees tightly, kiss me softly like the sun which sends the visages of flowers, its heartfelt kisses and spend your whole day with me like my parents who didn’t leave me alone even for a second. Although I picked up one step to go forward, the forward isn’t forward, it’ s a long backward, looked at my steps, they have been stuck by my shadow, turn my head to the shadow, it’ s not my shadow. The feet of the shadow have been changed to the hands of time, not the time of present, it is the time of past which has made me as its puppet. The salty raindrops are such heavy deep rooted wounds which drain the fertilized field of any soul and result in the veins of lives can’t find their ways to the earth of heart. The touched shadows of shoes ‘ tips act like the sharp pencils on the body of the sheet-shaped library that break the silence of the mind’ s words and result in dancing the joy of flight in the eyes of the discoverer. The Impressive Proses 54 M a rj a n S a fi y a r i Gla ss Cups by Mi ts u te ru Ko baya s h i
55 Hearts At Ease "Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time." —Thomas Merton
Mental illness is not a sign of weakness 56 I have battled with my mental health and I hope to inspire you through my art. Asking for help is always okay and you shouldn't feel ashamed or scared to need help for your mental illness. It could save your life. I hope you see brighter days on your journey! G i l l i a n @growingwithgillian
57 @zartbab_ the land where the dragon sleeps Z a r b a b R e h m a n Karachi, Pakistan
Flamingo 58 In this artwork, I used myself a lot of colors which I usually don't use as much because I typically use graphite as my material. In this drawing, I did challenged myself to use more colors to get out of my comfort zone. I chose the flamingo because I was used and comfortable to drawing animal. Personally, I do think that many people should challenge themselves, but also don't need to do something completely new. I wish for people who get scared to fail, to challenge themselves more in the slightest way than they do in their everyday life. I'm believing that accumilation of the slightest challenge will help change themselves and their life to be more better than it was before. My wish is for any person who sees this piece will get inspired to change their life in any better way. M i t s u t e r u K o b a y a s h i
disconnect to connect 59 Social media is something most people are using all the time and it’s becoming a part of our generation’s lives. Instead of talking to someone face-to-face, some people prefer just texting or going on social medias which can have some negative effects on their social skills. When you are raised with social media and technology as a main source of communication, it can inhibit your ability to understand body language, inflection, facial expressions or social cues. This is something I experienced during pandemic when I was on my phone and taking online classes. I felt very disconnected to people even though I was still texting and calling them. It helped me realize the importance in person interaction. I hope other people can connect to this art as a reminder to spend more time with their family and friends, and spend less on technological devices. @knozomi_131 N o z o m i K o b a y a s h i
This piece is a sky painting, simple, but has a very deep meaning behind it. In our life, many times we feel hopeless and lonely, and then we sit back by ourselves. We look at the sky and think how lonely we are, but looking at the beauty of these skies, brings peace in our minds. And looking at the stars, we realise, we can never be alone, being surrounded with this beauty of nature. S a k s h i 60 @sakshi__the.artist The Lonley But Beautiful Nights
a lifetime on a wall 61 I drew this inspired by the struggles of the people of the subcontinent and their displacements after the British took over. Z a r b a b R e h m a n
62 Freddy Mercury M i t s u t e r u K o b a y a s h i Kirkland, Seattle
63 “Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” —Tony Robbins A Friend In Need
Naima Cooper @storiesbynaima I felt like it was important to write this piece and disrupt the narrative that the only successful and worthy people in this world love school and get great grades as someone who previously bought into this line of thinking. Our school system is severely flawed, yet we remain using grades and degrees as metrics of the amount of value and respect people deserve in this world. This is a ridiculous notion that results in so much anguish and squandering of the potential people have that our current school systems fail to recognize. 5 What To Do When Your Biggest Fear Comes True Advice Writing Written on the Next Page 64 VC by Mi tc h e ll
What To Do When Your Biggest Fear Comes True 65 One of my biggest fears entering college was that I wouldn’t be able to adjust to the rigor of the courses. I would fail out, become a bum, and bring shame to myself and to my family. I would prove everyone right who ever doubted my intelligence. But everyone assured me that I would be fine since I had always been a great student. I never had below a 4.0, and I was always in the top 5 percent of my class. Accelerated math, gifted programs, AP classes. You know how it goes. My classmates voted me most likely to become a millionaire in 8th grade (lol). I was the quintessential “ smart girl”. So how does the “ smart girl” end up with a 0.91 gpa at the end of the first semester? And what do you do when your biggest fear comes true? Everyone told you it would never happen so you weren’t prepared, but now, it’ s your reality. To answer the question, you cry. A lot. That’ s what I did at least. You freak out. You have an identity crisis. You tell yourself that you have no worth or value. You become extremely depressed. You ’re not the “ smart girl” anymore. “Smart girls ” don’t fail tests. So, you feel like you ’re nothing. You ’re a burden and a disappointment to your family who ’ s paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to send you to this expensive school as an out of state student.
What To Do When Your Biggest Fear Comes True 66 You had one job: get good grades, and you failed at it, so you ’re a failure. Journal Entry from May 5th, 2019 “Just felt a random wave of depression. I feel like I’ m going to have so much student loan debt. My GPA is horrible so I’ m losing all the little scholarships I had.” You dodge your family ’ s phone calls because you know they ’ll ask about your grades which consist mainly of D’ s. You tell yourself that your life is over. All those dreams you had, the vision you had for your life, it’ s gone. You just want to disappear. You tell yourself that you don’t belong at such a prestigious school. They made a mistake admitting you. You ’re an imposter and everyone will find out soon. How did you sneak your way in? You carry shame and anxiety around you everywhere you go. You isolate yourself from your friends and anything fun because your grades are so bad. You feel like you don’t deserve to experience joy.
What To Do When Your Biggest Fear Comes True 67 And don’t forget, you feel that you not only let down your family, but you also set the entire black race back about 10 years. Black women too. Racism and misogyny is all your fault. Great job. It all sounds ridiculous now, but that’ s how I felt. It was easily the lowest point of my life. I felt stuck and hopeless. My life felt like it was over before it even began. I thought I might run out of tears from crying so much. But then, I met an angel. I made an appointment with an academic advisor. When I arrived at my appointment, I was greeted by a black woman. After being surrounded by white people mostly since college began and being away from home and from the people that loved and cared about me, seeing this woman gave me a feeling of familiarity and comfort that instantly made me feel safe, seen, and held. I cried some more as I told her about my grades. She assured me that people struggle academically more often than you 'd think. She helped me create a schedule and switch to a major that might be easier for me to manage, and it was. I ended up graduating from UNC in four years with a 3.2 gpa, so know that if you ’re struggling academically, it’ s possible to turn things around. However, this is not the point of this story.
What To Do When Your Biggest Fear Comes True 68 But more than any of those, my biggest mistake was: attaching my worth to my academic performance Journal Entry from December 19th, 2020 “I made all A’ s Fall 2020. Everyone is proud of me, but I am not proud of myself. I now have a 3.0. I am less than content. Maybe because stupid grades don ’t bring me real joy. What does bring me real joy?” It turns out that I actually don’t enjoy school. I don 't care about grades. I never did. I just did what was expected of me. I’m not the “ smart girl” anymore. She was not a real person. She didn’t think for herself. She didn’t do things that made her happy. Of course there is value in education. I’m sure many people love school, college, academia, etc. I’m just not one of those people, and this line of thought should not be the only acceptable one to have. Many school systems and colleges, I believe, are deeply flawed scams rooted in, you guessed it, white supremacist patriarchal capitalist ideals. We are conditioned to place our worth and our value in how well we play a rigged game that will never work for us because it was never built to. And even when we do “ succeed” , it’ s happiness lite. It’ s not sustainable.
What To Do When Your Biggest Fear Comes True 69 I stopped stressing so much over my grades around junior year, but ironically my grades still continued to improve. I started reading books I’d always wanted to read but thought I’d never have the time to because of the mountains of school work I was assigned. I started discovering things that brought me real joy. Actual joy. Not the joy lite I got from getting an A on an assignment on a topic I cared nothing about. A failed test would normally bring me to tears and ruin my entire day, maybe even week. Now, I brush it off. I think, “Who cares? This is all made up, and not made up for my benefit.” I don’t rely on grades to bring me happiness, purpose, validation, or feelings of success. I create my own markers of success. I don’t invest my time and energy into corrupt systems that care very little about my well being because doing so is a recipe for chronic stress, unhappiness, and disease whether or not I “ succeed” according to the white man’ s standards. I choose peace. I was wrong before. I had more than one job. I don’t exist to solely get good grades and a high paying job. My job is and always will be to be a kind person, to discover who I am authentically, and to create a life that feels fulfilling to me. This life doesn 't have to include anything you don 't want it to despite the pressure you get from those around you. I wish I would’ ve known that back then.
One thing that fulfills me is learning about things I am actually interested in at my own pace, which I never got to do in traditional school settings. So after your biggest fear comes true, and after you have your breakdown, here ’ s what you do. You try and detach yourself from your ego, from external validation, from who you always thought you were. You take a step back, reevaluate things, question things, figure out what’ s actually important to you, and you come back with so much more clarity, and so much more happiness than you ever had previously. Your life isn’t over. It’ s just beginning, so don 't get down, get excited :) What To Do When Your Biggest Fear Comes True 70
Your Soul is not alone. 5 About a month ago, my grandpa passed away. The first time I heard this news, I wasn't able to handle my feelings, everything was all too sudden. But one time when I gathered up with my cousins, my uncle talked to us about my grandpa. My grandpa had a stroke 8 years ago, and he lost his ability to use verbal communication and also to walk. Because of his both verbal and physical restriction he was always in the care home in his wheelchair, unable to clearly communicate with others. After a few years of his life in a care home, my grandma passed away. Of this unfortunate series of events, my uncle was worried that he might be depressed or feeling some loneliness of him being alone. But every time he met my grandpa, he saw him smiling all the time. My uncle said that in these 8 years, he learned from him that even though he wasn't able to verbally connect with people, he was connecting with God within his soul. My uncle said that the soul looks like a shining orb that could be any color depending on the person. God will only love a person's pure soul. God won't look at us by our outward appearance, or in their state of health, or anything that they hate or are talented about themself. My grandpa wasn't alone because he was with God all the time in his life. That was the story that uncle told to us. I felt that the moral of this story is that everyone is not alone in their life. The large section of this passage you just read was about God being the one who is with the person. But, you don't need to be religious or believe in God to relate to this story. All I want to say is that any person is not alone even at the darkest time in their life, there's always someone who you could rely on and or to connect with. That someone who can be connected with could be a God, family member, friend, your lover, pet, and anybody else who is important for you. I wish anyone who reads this piece will notice a better life than before, and to be at peace, and to live a life that you will love, even the time when it's not the brightest, just like my grandpa lived his life. Mi ts u te ru Ko baya s h i 71
Mission Statement: Founded by Izumi Hope(alias name) in 2021, kinda-like-a-nottherapists isasystem oran organization that isaiming to be of serviceto peoplein need ofasafespace, solace,a piece ofadvice, or anything else—and westriveto inspireand motivatethe people of this world to help themselvesand this Earth. Thank you for reading till theend. Special thanks to all those who contributed to help establish and further our mission. H T T P S : / / B I T . L Y / 3 U 1 B N C G W I N T E R I S S U E 2 0 2 3 03 Last Note 72
73 “There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There’s .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities…. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for our little infinity. You gave me forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.” —The Fault In Our Stars by John Green A Quote To Leave With