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Hatfield Heath Village Magazine May 2003

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Published by markratcliff, 2018-09-01 05:20:59

May 2003

Hatfield Heath Village Magazine May 2003

Keywords: hatfield,heath,village,magazine,may,2003



I’m sorry about the c_ _ k up with the footpath map in last
month’s magazine. I failed to notice that the supposed route,
which runs along the northern edge of Thorn Springs and then
meanders across in the general direction of Manwood Green, is
not actually a footpath at all but the European and county
Constituency Boundary!
My apologies to the Scantlebury families at Parvilles and many
thanks to them for pointing it out. I think the map section above
is now correct.

Michael Hockley

I have put two crosses either end of the horizontal incorrect
path. The vertical correct path is marked either end with two
ticks.- Bruno

At our meeting of the Welcome Club on
March 18th we had a good afternoon.
Our chairman Mr. Tony Jenkins opened
the meeting by welcoming our speaker
Jean, our secretary, gave out birthday
posies to our members and spoke of a
future visit to Van Hages garden centre.
She asked if we would like to go in the morning, to visit the
garden centre, have lunch there, then home early in the
afternoon? This seemed a popular choice. Jean will let us know
the details later.
Our speaker showed us slides of Hatfield Heath as it was some
years ago. Lots of our members recognized houses, landmarks,
and of course residents then, which was very heart-warming and
brought back memories to lots of our members.

The tea hostesses were myself and May with some
delicious cakes made by Jean. We then had a raffle and a
bring and buy table of goods.

A good afternoon was had by all.

Keep smiling - Ivy Scott

End of page1



5 8.00 Holy Communion HT
7 9.30 Family Service and Baptisms HT
10.30 Family Service with Communion URC
13 6.30 Evensong HT
2.30 Bridge Club I
21 1.45 Hatfield Heath Under 5s

25 8.00 Bridge Club H

29 9.30 Holy Communion HT
June 1
10.30 Family Service with Communion URC

1.30 HT Bridge Drive I

2.00 Bridge Club I

2.30 Heath Ladies H

10.30 Holy Communion - 1662 The Close

1.45 Hatfield Heath Under 5s H

2.30 Women’s Afternoon Meeting URC

7.45 Leisure Hour AGM URC

8.00 Bridge Club H


8.00pm Holy Communion HT


for Anniversary Service URC

2.00 Bridge Club I

2.30 Welcome Club H

10.30 MU Holy Communion HT

11.30 Luncheon Club URC

1.45 Hatfield Heath Under 5s H

7.45 Leisure Hour AGM URC

8.00 Bridge Club H


9.30 Holy Communion and Baptisms HT

10.30 Family Worship URC

2.00 Bridge Club I

7.45 Gardening Club H

8.00 Bridge Club I



8.00 Holy Communion HT

9.30 Family Service HT

10.30 Family Worship with Communion URC

6.30 Evensong HT

H-Village Hall / CR-Committee Room H / HT- Holy Trinity
URC-United Reform Church / I-Institute / S-School



CM22 7BH

01279 730388 – Redirected to Braintree
01279 730280 – Answer phone – non urgent issues/nature

E-mail address – [email protected]

End of page 2

Dear Friends,
As I write this Saddam Hussein would appear to have been
toppled, but unfortunately this has led to the destruction of the
whole Iraqi infrastructure. Following the war in Kosovo it was
to the United Nations that the world community looked to build
the peace. Sadly, thanks to the differing diplomatic stands taken
over the need to go to war in the first place, there is dissension
about who should be allowed any part in building peace in Iraq.
There is no question in anybody's mind that reconstruction is
desperately needed. The breakdown in law and order
immediately following the liberation of the cities showed just
how urgent this is, and how difficult it will be to attain. Yet
there is hope. The time has come to put aside past differences
and work for peace in the Middle East.
The message of Easter, which we celebrated last month, is that
after the pain and suffering of the cross came the joyous miracle

o f¡¢re£s¤u¥rr¦ec¢t£io§¨n.


Wednesday 7th May 8.00pm - The Essex Ambulance Service -

Wednesday 21st May 8.00pm - Down the Himalayas on a
basket. Brenda Holgate
Visitors are welcome to these meetings - Details from -
Jean Wybrew 730465

Sunday 18th May Church Anniversary Service 10.30am –
Rev S Maxey Visitors Welcome

Saturday 17th May Christian Aid Walk to Hatfield Forest
Anyone can take part or sponsor a child. Leaving URC Hall at
Details from Martin Wybrew 730465.

(19th Century Broomshawbury
(Hatfield Broad Oak) Farmer and Local Magistrate.
May 5th 1843 (First Entry)
Bought this Diary at Epping of Mr Anderson, Governor of Ilford
Gaol, for one shilling(5p).


June 11th - Visit to Turners – Northampton – Lunch with
Entertainment £20
July 22nd - Daytrip to Bruges - £25
August 2nd - Newmarket Poppy Day Races - £15.
Details - Sandra Saban 718102


We require a new Treasurer. If you are interested please contact
Brendan 730444
Jean Clark Secretary.


It is so difficult to find something original to write each month,
although we have some very good speakers and everyone enjoys
the social side of our meetings, with the chance to catch up with
friends; we are fortunate that most people are able to get to the
village hall either in their own transport, or lifts can be arranged
with other members and friends. We all enjoyed Jeff Websters
talk about Badgers and the slides that were shown, particularly
of all the work that is involved if a Badgers sett has to be moved
because of building renovation or a new road layout, in a
number of cases tunnels have been constructed under roads to
help them.
At our next meeting on Tuesday 13th May we will have a social
afternoon with a Bring and Buy and a quiz. Visitors are always
welcome to our meetings, which are held at 2.30pm in the
village hall.
Diana White.

End of page 3

My wife, June, and I have lived in the village for over 30 years.
I have served in The Parish Council for 8 years, the last 4 as
Chairman. I have also been a Church Warden at Holy Trinity for
19 years.
Now fully retired after working in agriculture in the UK and
overseas for 36 years, I have strived for the last 4 years to use
my knowledge and considerable experience to serve our village
as your District Councillor.
I share your main concerns over the threat caused by Stansted
Airport, the speed of traffic through our village and the lack of
visible policing. We are now well served by several bus routes
which are widely used by our older residents. We are also one of
the few places in the District with a Police Station although
manning leaves much to be desired. A priority has been the lack
of affordable housing. I hope that at last some will become
available over the next year with a major development due to
start in about 3 years time. As Vice Chairman of Development I
have tried to preserve the best features and appearance of our
village while being fair to residents who wish to improve and
extend their homes. I have fought hard against an increase in the
District's share of the Council Tax and the only additions are for
Community Wardens and the fight against more runways at

My key pledges are:
 To continue our unstinting fight to stop additional

runways at Stansted
 To oppose John Prescott's proposals to build hundreds

of thousands of new homes in the district
 To keep our Council Tax down to the lowest possible

while delivering high quality services

 To introduce Community Support Officers in

partnership with Essex Police

End of page 4

I have lived in Hatfield Heath since 1968, now a retired
businessman, married with a son and daughter. I have enjoyed
being involved in the Community life of this village for many
years. I am Chairman of the Governors of Hatfield Heath C. P.
School, on the Executive Committee of the Village Hall. I am at
present Vice-Chairman of the Parish Council and Elder at the
United Reformed Church. I was Chairman of the Jubilee
Committee and was for many years on the Festival Committee.
My other interests include Rotary, gardening and sport.
My aim is to ensure that Hatfield Heath remains a thriving Rural
Community. As an independent candidate, I can represent the
interests of the people of Hatfield Heath and will not be
constrained by party politics!
• STANSTED AIRPORT has brought economic opportunities for
Uttlesford, however: I will resist further expansion of the
• HOUSING -1 believe there is a need for affordable housing in
Hatfield Heath for sale and to let. There is a need for sensible
planning and sound economic development.
• EDUCATION -1 will continue to give my full support to our
school at Hatfield Heath.
• THE POLICE - I feel that the police should be more accessible
by telephone to our residents, many people find difficulty in
making contact.
• COUNCIL TAX is a constant worry to many people recent large
increases should not be repeated.
• AMENITIES - I support our local Post Office, Shops, Surgery
and local services.
• THE ELDERLY, the frail and the vulnerable need assistance

end of page 5

Marion Dyer has lived with her husband in the district for nearly 30
years. They are both heavily involved in community activities,
including the local Methodist Church. Marion received formal
recognition of her services to the community in 1999, when she was
given the Uttlesford District Council Community Achievement Award.

She has been a key figure in the local Liberal Democrat branch for
over 10 years. She is keen to promote recycling, and runs her own

printer cartridge recycling project, which raises hundreds of pounds
each year for charity. Marion lives in Stansted, but knows Hatfield
Heath well. She travels through it every day on her way to Harlow,
where she works for a Further Education computer-training centre. She
is particularly concerned about the impact that additional runways at
Stansted Airport would have on the residents of Hatfield Heath.

APOLOGIES to Sylvia Warner, we had an incorrect line in her poem,
in the March magazine, called ..
Birds are singing in the breeze - The breeze is blowing through the trees
- While birds are laying eggs galore - The pigs are grunting to a snore -
The little lambs are dancing about – Children playing are about to shout
- A cockerel crows to call his mate - While he sits on a five bar gate -
The bees are buzzing to and fro - From flower to flower they do go -
But best of all are the beautiful flowers - That hang their heads when it
showers -Then out comes the sun with its warmth and glow - To make
all the beautiful flowers grow
Sylvia Warner

End of page 6


At a meeting of the Council on 12th March 2003 at the URC Hall
at 7.30p.m. there were present:
Mr P. Fuller Lewis (Chairman)
Mr M. Lemon (Vice Chairman)
Dr B. Bland, Mr M. Hockiey, Mr M. Lawrance, Mr M, Sullivan
Mrs P. Tyler (Clerk) Mrs L. Ayres (Clerk from 1.4.2003)
One member of the public.

OPEN FORUM Mr B. Carrig of Hunters' Meet restaurant
informed the meeting that he had been doing his best to
encourage guests to use the village car park. Unfortunately
a sign states that parking is limited to four hours only. As
his guests are often in his establishment for 6 hours this
sign needs amending. The Councillors agrees that this
should be done. The Clerk will arrange for the time limit
to be altered on the sign to allow at least six hours.

1. Apologies for absence.
2. Adoption of minutes of the previous meting held on 15th
January 2003 were amended, approved and signed. The minutes
of the planning meeting held on 5th February to be approved and
signed at the next meeting, as this item was not on the Agenda.
3. Matters arising from the minutes – None
4. Maintenance and Drainage of the Heath
i. Grasscutting and Protecting the Heath - The Chairman noted
the first cut had been made to the Heath. The Clerk reported she
had requested Mr Kenney to look at the area adjacent to Pond
Lane which had recently been cleared by BTCV. This should
now be included on a regular basis when the rough cuts are
made. Cllr Sullivan was concerned that the recently reinstated
area adjacent to Tudor Lodge is already being eroded. The Clerk
will request a quote from Mr Kenney to place telegraph poles
along this strip. The Clerk reminded the meeting that this ground
would not allow stakes to be inserted, therefore wires as used
along the URC service road would be the only way to secure the
logs. The Clerk said she had spoken to Mr Kenney regarding
the displaced poles along the URC service road. The posts will
be reinstated as soon as possible.
ii. Village Green - The Chairman informed the meeting that
U.D.C. had advised the Parish Council that a bye law to protect
the Village Green from travellers would not be effective or
appropriate. The Councillors agreed not to pursue this matter,
the Clerk will inform Mr Gosling of this decision. Perretts
Amusements wish to visit Hatfield Heath Saturday/Sunday
6th/7th September. They will arrive on Monday 1st September to
set up and leave on Monday 8th September 2003. The

Councillors agreed to this request and the Clerk instructed to
confirm this booking in writing. Cllr Hockley was delighted
they would be returning again this year.. The owner of the car
for sale on village green outside Lynhurst has been asked to
remove the vehicle immediately. The Chairman will inform the
Clerk on the procedure regarding the car for sale outside Katalba
which is not on village green. The re-cycling lorry which visits
the village on Wednesday appears to have great difficulty
negotiating corners, this is probably due to excessive speed. The
Clerk is to write to U.D.C. regarding the complaints received.
The Clerk reported she had received a request from the owners
of Hayes Cottage who wish to fill in the gaps of the hedge along
the Dunmow Road with holly. The Clerk will establish what
currently makes up the hedging and discuss this further with Dr
iii. "A" Boards - The Clerk to keep and eye on "A" boards
positioned on highways and village green. These boards are
causing problems to disabled and partially sighted pedestrians.
Following Cllr Sullivan's investigations regarding the possibility
of placing advertisements on the new litter bins. Cllr Sullivan
reported that he had spoken to the owners of Courtyard flowers
who would prefer to produce and install their own advertisement
and replace any worn or vandalised advertisements rather than
the Parish Council taking responsibility for this. Courtyard
flowers should produce an advertisement for approval by the
Parish Council.
iv. Footpaths - Footpath 39 has been approved. Cllr Hockley
said he would update the recently prepared map. Mr S. Walsh
was not at the meeting, but he is in the process of obtaining
quotations for the reproduction of the footpaths map both in the
magazine and larger copies for sale. Cllr Hockley said funding
was available from PP3 for footpaths and Mr Walsh had this
information. The Clerk reported the pedestrian footpaths around
the village should be cleared shortly.
v. Rubbish - The Clerk reported the service road adjacent to the
pubs and village shops had been swept by U.D.C. and suggested
Mrs Ayres reminds Mr Pridham every couple of months that this
should be done. Mr Jameson will finish his contact to clean the
bus shelter and car park at the end of March and two of the litter
pickers will include these areas as part of their round.
vi. War Memorial - The Clerk reported on the lack of response
to her enquiries regarding the jet washing of the War Memorial.
The quote from J. Day & Son was deemed too costly at £500 -
£750. This to be discussed more fully after Cllr Bland has
spoken with the British Legion.
vii. Trees & Ponds - Mrs Ayres updated the Councillors on the
progress of the proposed conservation scheme on land and the
pond adjacent to Pond Lane. The grant information has been
passed to Cllr Lemon and Mrs Ayres said she would be speaking
to him shortly. Also Mrs Ayres will ring Mr F. Walsh to keep
him informed of the situation.
5. Road Matters
i. Traffic Calming Measures - Letter sent to E.C.C. by a
resident of Broomfields was read to the meeting together with
the reply from E.C.C. regarding road safety throughout the
village. Many of the suggestions made had already been
requested by the Parish Council. The Chairman read from an
informative e-mail sent to Cllr Sullivan by Mr Stoneham of
E.C.C. regarding the progress of projects still outstanding. The
Clerk reported that she had requested the Police make another
call on the owners of the vehicles consistently parked on the
footpath outside Browns Cottages. These vehicles impair the
vision of drivers leaving Broomfields.
6. Planning
Complaints regarding the extensions to the Police Mast have
been taken up by the Chairman. The Police are changing their
radio system which apparently has necessitated the need for the

extensions. The Chairman has asked the planning department of
U.D.C. to look at the conditions imposed when permission was
granted and to make a site visit and report back to him.
UTT/0142/03/FUL - Tudor Oak, Stortford Road - Change of use
of agricultural land to garden - No objection.
UTT/0166/03/FUL - Palm Trees. Chelmsford Road - Erection of
dormer window - No objection.
UTT/0128/03/FUL - Hatfield Heath Primary School – Single
Storey flat roof extension – No objection although the
Councillors were unsure what a ‘quiet’ room was and were
unaware of a courtyard.

End of page 7

UTT/1826/02/FUL - It was noted that a site visit was due to take
place by U.D.C.
UTT/0709/02/FUL/ APP/C1570/A/0311/1111378 - Down
House Gardeners Cottage. Erection of swimming pool with
glaze roof over - Councillors felt these further comments should
be supplied to the Planning Inspectorate regarding this appeal:
The proposed development would be unacceptable because it
would involve additions to a previously extended building
together resulting in disproportionate additions over the above
size of the original building contrary to Government Policy
expressed in PPG2 - Green Belt.
7. Decisions
1 Hillfield Cottages - Extension to front porch – Approved
Palo Alto - Two storey side extension and single storey front
extension - Approved
Lingfield - Outline application for 1 ½ storey dwelling –
Hatfield Grange - Single storey side extension. First floor
extension – Refused
Down Court - Single storey rear extension – Approved
Holmby - Demolition and erection of two storey replacement
dwelling - Approved
8. Car Park - The Clerk reported she had chased E.C.C.
regarding the erection of the new Car Park sign and Nockolds
regarding the transfer completion both should take place shortly.
9. Open Space/Play Area - Unfortunately nothing further to
report on the transfer of the Open Space as Ms J. Harrison of
U.D.C. is on holiday. Stanley Tee has been informed of this and
the Clerk will chase Ms Harrison on her return.
10. Village Design Plan - The Chairman reported on a very
successful V.D.P. day held in the village hall committee room
on 22nd February organised by Cllr Sullivan and the Rural
Community Council of Essex. This was well supported by
villagers and a Task Force set up. The results being analysed by
R.C.C.E. should be with us shortly. The Chairman thanked Cllr
Sullivan for efforts. A letter received from a young resident was
read to the meeting regarding the Cricket field and litter. The
Clerk to reply.
11. Stansted - Cllr Sullivan informed the meeting of several fund
raising events which were being organised by SSE. Cllr Sullivan
thought a good job was being done by SSE.
12. Police - A meeting arranged for 1st July 2003 is being
organised by PC Brad Healey who will inform the Parish
Council what form this meeting will take. The new Inspector
Moira Owers will be attending the meeting. The Chairman
reported on the possibility of having paid wardens in the village.
Details are being negotiated but the wardens will be on foot or
cycle, not cars.
13. Code on Conduct - The Chairman informed Councillors that
a new Code of Conduct must be completed if Councillors are re-
elected at the 1ST May elections. The Clerk issued election forms
to those Councillors seeking re-election. Unfortunately Cllr

Lawrance would not be able to stand again. This was regretted

by all Councillors and the Chairman.

14. Affordable Housing - A letter received from Rural Housing

Trust and a reply composed by the Chairman was read to the

Councillors. The letter suggested four areas which may be

suitable for Affordable Housing. New areas were necessary as

the site off the Matching Road had unfortunately been put on
hold for at least 2 1/ 2 years.

15. Reports of Councillors attending meetings - Cllr Hockley

reported on the very worthwhile 'Greens and Commons' training

day held recently. A full report will be supplied to the Clerk and

filed under Village Green. The Chairman attended a meeting of

UALC which discussed Stansted Airport. Cllr Sullivan attended
the 'Harlow Options Study' meeting 6th February 2003. A copy

of the minutes have been supplied by the organisers Atkins

Design Environment & Engineering. Cllr Sullivan, prior to

attending the Parish Council meeting had attended an

Emergency Planning Meeting in Saffron Walden. Cllr Sullivan

felt our own plan reflects everything. Cllr Sullivan also reported

he had been involved in the possibility securing Broadband for

the village. This was progressing well but needed more people

to register an interest.

16. Golden Jubilee - Cllr Bland and Cllr Lemon would like a

£50/£100 grant to be awarded to a student from the village going

on to further education each year from the Jubilee Fund. The

grant to used for the purchase of books. Therefore, tokens not

cash should be given. Cllr Hockley was concerned that a criteria

should be provided for discussion at the next meeting.

17. Post Office- The Chairman read a letter to the meeting that

he had written on the Parish Councils behalf thanking Sir Alan

Haselhurst for his work in reopening the Post Office.

Councillors were grateful this had been done.

18. Finance - The following cheques were approved for


BTCV - Clearing of land adjacent to Pond Lane £105.75

Mrs P. Tyler - Telephone expenses 13.01.03-11.03.03 £8.41

Litter Picking - 18.01.03-08.03.03 £136.00 £144.41

Mrs L. Ayres –Salary - 12 hours 01.01.03 - 11.03.03 £86.46

Mrs P. Tyler - Salary Jan - Mar 2003 £802.77

MrT. Jameson - Salary Jan - Mar 2003 £61.50

Mr M. Sullivan - Village Sign expenses £42.23

The Clerk confirmed she had sent in the request for the agreed

Precept of £18,350.00.

Cllr Lawrance reported on the estimated outcome for the year
ending 31st March 2003 and produced a statement with the

various expense heading for which the Clerk thanked him. The

Clerk also expressed her thanks for the considerable help Cllr

Lawrance had given her during his time with the Parish Council.

19. Correspondence

Department Transport - Air Transport Development Document -

Pass to Chris Lidgey

Holy Trinity - Open Air Service request - June 8th - Approved

E.C.C. Elected Regional Assemblies -letter received and reply


E.C.C. Temporary Road Closure B 183 2.03.03

JMP Consultants Ltd - Transport Representatives Questionnaire

- Passed to Cllr Fuller Lewis

E.C.C. Passenger Transport Consultation Process - Passed to

Cllr Fuller Lewis

DEFA - Licensing Bill, copy passed to HT URC and VH

UDC Committees: Health and Housing Committee - meeting

6.03.03,Community & Leisure

03.04.03, Control and Licensing 24.02.03

E.C.C. Winter Service Programme

Bishop's Stortford Footpaths Association Newsletter - passed to

Steve Walsh

E.A.L.C. General Information

E.C.C. Local Transport Plan - Annual Progress Report 2002
Access in Uttlesford - Spring 2003 newsletter
Volunteer Extra Newsletters
CPRE Membership Card, Newsletter Raffle Tickets and
Countryside Voice - Spring issue
Essex Heritage News - Winter issue
St Clares Hospice News
Uttlesford Volunteer Bureau

End of page 8

Real Essex - Festival of the Countryside
Bus Passenger News
Zurich Insurance - Terrorism letter
Essex Protector - CPRE
Planning Update - pass to Chris Lidgey
Rural Matters - Jan issue
Ways and Means - Feb issue - pass to Chris Lidgey
Clerks and Councils Direct - March issue
The Chairman thanked Cllr Lawrance for the tremendous help
he had given the Parish Council during the past 4 years. The
Clerk again thanked Mr Lawrance for his considerable help with
the accounts.


On Easter Sunday I had a visit from a Jean Carter (nee Forster)
who was evacuated to the village during the war. She had had a
pleasant afternoon seeing the places where she had lived and
played and was delighted to see how much of the Heath was still
as she remembered it. She also remarked on how friendly and
helpful everyone was that she had spoken to. She was hoping to
make contact with the Wordsworth family who lived at Little
Eden as she was friendly with the son Benjamin. To help her in
this search I said that I would put an item in the magazine to see
if anyone knew how she could contact him. If there is anyone
who knows what happened to Benjamin Wordsworth or how
Jean could contact him please would they ring me [Liz Wright]
on 730530.
Many thanks
Liz Wright



As promised here are some more old photos’ and history of
Hatfield Heath football club hopefully I will soon have a report on
how they are doing now.

What year? 1950’s 1960’s

Mary Hall Wife Of Eric Hall (son of Charlie Hall) gave the
above picture, to the History Society of Hatfield Heath, recently.
Eric is the player far left bottom row.

June 1987

Congratulations to the first team who have now secured
promotion to the Premier Division. At the time of writing this
report, the team have one game left, at home to their closest
challengers- North Weald on Cup Final morning. By the time
that you read this drivel the result will be known. A draw or
victory will mean that the Heath will be Champions of Division

Next month will be a report on the first team's final game
together with lots of malicious gossip from the annual Dinner
and Dance. M.B.

(This is just a small extract of the report made for June 1987.
The club did become champions of division one)



end of page 9


Monday 9am – 1pm

Closed for lunch 1pm – 2pm

2pm – 5.30pm

Tuesday 9am – 1pm

Closed for lunch 1pm – 2pm

2pm – 5.30pm

Wednesday 9am – 1pm
Half Day

Thursday 9am – 1pm

Closed for lunch 1pm – 2pm

2pm – 5.30pm

Friday 9am – 1pm

Closed for lunch 1pm – 2pm

2pm – 5.30pm

Saturday 9am – 12.30pm

BLACK BOX Collection (any Paper & Magazines)

GREEN BOX Collection (Plastic Bottles, Cans.

Textiles/Shoes, Cardboard & ‘Yellow Pages')

Our nearest Mini Bank for Glass and Cans is Hatfield Broad

Oak The Dukes Head PH

Green kitchen waste at Broomfields 9 – 10.15am and at Ardley
Crescent 10.45am – 12.00pm on: -
May 4 & 31st , June 29th, July 26th, Aug 24th, Sept 20th, Oct 19th,
Nov 15th.

AN innovative project to recycle computers is to be started by Essex
Air Ambulance after successfully raising funds from recycling
inkjet cartridges and mobile phones, the charity has joined forces
with the Brentwood firm Sprint Communications. Together they hope
to raise "thousands of pounds" for the self-funding emergency

service, director Malcolm Trapp said. Sprint will collect the
computers free of charge, remove all data and a donation will be
made to the charity. The equipment will be refurbished and reused in
Britain or overseas at a reasonable price. To have your old computer
collected, F r e e p h o n e 0800 2797669.

OLD mobile phones are worth up to £35 each to the charity
Sense, which supports deaf and blind children and adults in
Britain. The organisation has a recycling programme which
collects old mobile handsets through a Freepost scheme. To take
part in the scheme contact the Sense events team for a Freepost
envelope on 020 7272 7774. Email [email protected] or visit

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would
like to have dinner out. (try for more than once but less than
2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be bold)
3. Add 5. (for Sunday)
4. Multiply it by 50 - we'll wait while you get the calculator
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1753.... If
you haven't, add 1752.
6 Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. You
should have a three digit number ..
The first digit of this was your original number (I ..e., how
many times you’d like to eat out each week.) The next two
digits are... YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it IS!!!!!) THIS IS THE

End of page 10


Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made
safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All
water tends to flow towards the moon because there is no water
on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the
sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping” carpets still on the stairs.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What is the Fibula? A: A small lie.
Q: What is the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"? A:
The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman Emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they
look like umbrellas.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you
understand its meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.

Found in H.B.O. VILL. MAG. Thanks to Roger Cattermole for
this selection of 'howlers' from last year's GCSE examinations.

end of page 11


In Little Hallingbury on the
evening of Sunday 8 June when
members of the star casts of My
Fair Lady and Ragtime will
perform songs from the shows
of the last 40 years. The musical
extravaganza is in aid of Stop
Stansted Expansion as part of a
range of community efforts to
raise funds to sustain the
campaign and tickets are now
on sale from the campaign
office and selected local outlets.
The show will include

something for everyone with solos, duets and ensemble songs
from such shows as My Fair Lady, Les Miserables, Miss Saigon,
King, Grease, Chess, Phantom of the Opera, Whistle Down the
Wind, Evita, Sunset Boulevard, Little Shop of Horrors, Jesus
Christ Superstar, Guys & Dolls, West Side Story, Joseph,
Oliver, Fiddler on the Roof, Beauty and the Beast, Ragtime and
others. They will be sung by Kate Coysten, former Head Girl of
Bishop's Stortford College who now lives in Sawbridgeworth,
with co-performers Craig Turner and Chris Howell. All three
are currently working with Kate in the smash hit musical ‘My
Fair Lady’ at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane alongside Anthony
Andrews, Russ Abbot and Hannah Gordon. They will be
accompanied by Tania Newton from another West End musical,
‘Ragtime’, which has also received critical acclaim. The
combined credits for the cast include Les Miserables, Saturday
Night Fever, Jesus Christ Superstar, South Pacific, Salad Days,
Phantom of the Opera, Grease, Buddy and the Witches of
Eastwick. The extravaganza’s musical director on 8 June will be
Daniel Dibden, whose
musical credits include Five Guys Named Moe, Dusty, the
Musical and TV's 'Light Lunch' with Mel and Sue. Geoff Petts
has arranged the concert in conjunction with Kate Coysten and
Gaston House owners Roger and Irene Graham. Speaking
enthusiastically about the event, Roger Graham who has done
much to support Stop Stansted Expansion’s fundraising efforts
said: “This will be a marvellous event and we are expecting an
excellent response from the local community who will not only
want to show their support for the campaign but also to have
some real fun in the process.” Tickets, price just £15, include
free parking and a supper of fish and chips, chicken and chips or
a vegetarian platter. There will also be a licensed bar selling
wine, beer and soft drinks and a ‘Puds for £1’ stall to round off
the musical picnic which will be held in the open if the weather
is fine or in a marquee if rain threatens. Gates open at 6pm and
the show itself will take place between 6.45pm and 9.30pm.

Both the post offices in Little Hallingbury and Hatfield Broad
Oak are offering tickets for sale. Jan Baldwin (Great
Hallingbury) is also taking orders on 01279 653470, or they can
be ordered from Stop Stansted Expansion campaign office
(details on 01279 870558). Order forms can also be
downloaded from the website at : -

end of page 12

The Government has recently re-launched the consultation on its
far-reaching plans for Stansted Airport and is inviting comments
from the public. Here’s what the plans could mean for our
community. Scale of Proposals - The proposals include options
for one, two and three extra runways at Stansted. The sheer
scale of these proposals is hard to imagine. With three extra
runways, Stansted would become the world’s biggest airport -
capable of handling 129 million passengers a year. At present,
the world’s biggest airport is Atlanta, USA which handled 77
million passengers last year. Heathrow handled 63 million.
With just one extra runway Stansted would grow to 82 million
passengers a year, 30% bigger than today’s Heathrow and even
bigger than Atlanta. The Government plans to transfer 40% of
Heathrow’s scheduled transatlantic and long haul services to
Stansted as soon as the second runway opens. Plans to build a
second runway could be submitted as early as next year. A
massive increase in freight traffic is also envisaged, making
Stansted the busiest freight airport in Europe. The majority of
air freight movements would be during the night. Aircraft
landings and take-offs at Stansted could increase to over 2000 a
day under the Government’s plans - one every 30 seconds by
day and every 3 minutes by night. One third would be jumbos.
The noise would be intrusive over a huge area involving four
counties: Essex, Hertfordshire, Suffolk and Cambridgeshire.
Related Development Building such an airport would be one of
the biggest construction projects ever undertaken in the UK,
destroying hundreds of homes and whole communities in the
process but the real worry is the effect which associated
development would have on this predominantly rural region,
completely transforming its character and creating one large
urban sprawl. Thousands of acres of open countryside would be
bulldozed to make way for the runways, terminal buildings,
warehouses, roads, office blocks and hotels needed to serve the
airport. An estimated 83,000 new ‘affordable’ homes would be
needed to accommodate the influx of new airport workers and
between 30 and 40 hotels of similar size to the present Stansted
Hilton would be needed if three extra runways were to be built.
For one extra runway, the requirements would, of course, be less
- around 47,000 extra homes and about 20 hotels of similar size
to the Hilton. But the scale of development would still be
enormous. Transport with three extra runways, traffic to the
airport is forecast to increase by seven fold. The impact upon
the local road network are not difficult to foresee. No matter
what new roads were built to accommodate this increase, the
prospect of gridlock seems inevitable. The rail network is no
better placed to cope with the vast increase in passengers on
route to the airport: an extra line between Stansted and
Liverpool Street is not planned for another 20 years. Regular
commuters to London will clearly understand the implications
of this. Health & Education there would be significant health
issues for the local area - especially for our children, the elderly
and those with respiratory problems - as a result of higher
concentration levels of aircraft emissions in the vicinity of the
airport. There are also implications for the education of our

children. Studies elsewhere show that interruptions from aircraft
noise cause lapses in classroom concentration and damage the
quality of education in schools, which are near to airports.
Environment & Heritage Expansion to accommodate three extra
runways would increase the current airport site from 2,300 to
5,400 acres - devouring good quality agricultural land and
countryside. 326 homes would be destroyed and 64 Grade II
listed buildings lost. Ancient

End of page 13

woodlands and hedgerows would disappear forever, while
enjoyment of sites such as Hatfield Forest and Dedham Vale
would be severely compromised by the constant noise. Even for
one additional runway, the airport site would increase from 2300
to 4000 acres and would destroy more than 1000 acres of the
Countryside Protection Zone, which surrounds the airport. Two
scheduled ancient monuments and more than 111 homes would
be bulldozed, including 29 Grade II listed buildings. More
countryside would disappear under the pressure to build all the
support services which the airport would need and to house the
influx of new airport workers. Jobs With unemployment
currently at very low levels in the areas around the airport and
with a further 7000 jobs already in the pipeline as a result of the
agreed expansion to 25 million passengers per year, there is no
prospect that the 93,000 staff needed for a 129 million passenger
airport at Stansted could be recruited locally. Hence the need
for a massive house building program to provide affordable
homes for the airport workforce. What can I do? If enough local
people oppose these plans, the Government will think again.
Please write to: The Rt Hon Alistair Darling MP Secretary of
State for Transport Great Minster House76 Marsham Street
LONDON SW1P 4DRAnd send a copy of your letter to your
local MP asking him to follow up your concerns with the
Secretary of State. The address for your local MP is: House of
Commons, Westminster LONDON SW1A 0AA The local
community campaign opposing the airport expansion plans is
spearheaded by Stop Stansted Expansion. Contact or phone (01279) 870558 for
details of how you can play your part in opposing the
Government’s proposals –

I have put up ‘Squirrel resistant’ bird
feeders and its very entertaining
watching the squirrel’s acrobatic feats
to get to the food. I could make it
impossible by putting the feeders in
cages with mesh that would allow birds
but no squirrels but then this would
probably stop some of the bigger birds
such as woodpeckers. I have come to
the conclusion that ‘Squirrel resistant’
feeders and a few obstacles like large

acrylic plastic sheets above them will slow them down and
anything they get is their reward for the entertainment.
This year I have put in bulbs the trouble is squirrels also like
bulbs, and especially in pots where the earth is loose they take
them with hardly any effort. I have just read an article with a
solution from ‘The Green Gardener’ a Family business that
specialises in ‘green’ pest controls. They suggest putting a piece
of chicken wire under the ground above the bulbs. The bulbs
will grow through the wire but the squirrels may not get to them
If you have any other ideas of how to humanely ‘defeat’ the
squirrels please let us know.

End of page 14

Heath Sport



Cubs Topple Birchanger

Peter Storey, assigned to Cubs football detail, put out what
probably was the best Cubs team to date to face Birchanger
Cubs on the bright morning of Saturday 5 April.
Our Cubs grabbed an early goal when Freddie Shaw put a back-
heel pass through to Jamie Stevens from a clever Ollie Hancock
corner. Jamie promptly slotted the ball home. Jamie became a
hat-trick hero soon after, putting away two well-taken goals
before we grabbed another, making it 4-0. Birchanger pulled one
back which pleased both sides of the crowd. Our Cubs even
grabbed a fifth goal, thanks to Freddie Shaw but one of our
players got injured in the build-up and the goal was disallowed.
After a well-deserved half time break, the teams lined up for
half numero dos.

The manager’s son, Eddie, resembled a whirlwind in the second
half. Ollie Hancock also gave a strong performance throughout
the game and played a part in our fifth goal which went in, not
long before full time. All in all, a great performance from the
whole team.

Team line-up: Christopher Bell; Jordan Baker; Sam Cook;
Sebastian Dixon; Ollie Hancock; Joe Harris; Freddie Shaw;
Jamie Stevens; Eddie Storey.
Referee: Chris Hancock.


Last month, the school football team looked to be back on the
right track after a poor few months. But with the last two league
games being played in the space of just three days, the league is
now lost.

Monday 7 April, a bright, sunny afternoon. Perfect conditions
for our must-win home game against Little Hallingbury. Perfect
would be the word to describe the result – 5-0 to the home team.
Two days later, the team made the trip to Bentfield School and
took an early lead. We let in a silly goal before conceding
another in the final minute to end our hopes of retaining the
league title.

NOTE: The final league table will hopefully appear in next
month’s Heath Sport.

All sport text by our intrepid and informative reporter
Billy Shaw.

I put a whole line of washing out at 10am on Monday 7th April
2003 having just come back from holiday. Then I went off to
Tescos. When I came back the washing was dry but stank of
smoke and there was ash everywhere on the washing, in the
garden, and general stuck to everything. While I was out, one of
my inconsiderate neighbours had had some Leylandii cut down
that day and then had burned the cuttings in the garden. Smoke
was drifting over all the gardens near me. I thought that burning
garden waste was illegal during the day. I know my husband, if
he has to burn garden waste, does it at night when it’s dark and
its not disturbing or causing inconvenience to anyone. Needless
to say I had to re wash all my washing, as the smell on it was

Jean Clarke

End of page 15

Charlotte – 14years old on the 4th May

Jack – 11years old on the 23rd May
Joanne - !? years old on the 19th May

With Love from all the Family

Mature Lady working locally requires one bedroom
flat. References can be supplied Phone 730 430

‘Stoves’ gas cooker silver front, only 18 months old,
as new £80 phone 730 451

Canon StarWriter 80. Full working order, with
training disc and manual. Excellent for basic admin,
working at home or upgrade to electronic typing.
£40. 01279 739 277

 ¡¢ ¦£ ¤¥¢£ ¦§

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