Max and Carlo stand up, holding him by his shoulders. I don’t move a muscle because the old-ass man doesn’t worry me. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to?” I say with a smug smile. “Not your wife yet either.” “You’re starting shit you can’t finish, Giovanni.” “Oh. I already did though. Do you remember an agreement your father had with mine?” My tongue rolls against the side of my cheek. Kirill’s eyes widen, just as my father’s did. I laugh because they have the exact same fate. “Hmm. Can’t seem to figure it out?” I look over toward Rolando. He doesn’t seem to care about what is happening. “You got the Romanos involved in this shit so your ass would be covered. You thought that if you married into my family somehow, I wouldn’t kill you.” “That’s not what happened.” “Then what happened?” Rolando cuts in, finally showing interest. Kirill looks flustered as fuck. Like he was caught stealing and is now trying to find a valid excuse for his actions. I wasn’t sure if he was directly involved, but now I know for sure. “Look, I just did what I was told,” he says, throwing his hands up in frustration. “You’re old enough to have accepted my father’s demands. Was it you who took action, or was it your people? “What?” “Did you kill my fucking mother?” “Fuck. Okay, yes I—” I take my gun out and walk up to him. He is kicking his legs, trying to back away from me, but he is failing miserably because of the strength of Carlo and Max. “Do it,” Max says. “Blood for blood,” I say. The last words he will ever hear. Kirill’s hands fly into the air. “Wait! Wait. I know something that could be useful to you.” My finger curls around the trigger easily, drawn to it like a moth to a flame. “Enlighten me.” “Your father lied.” His words come out as pants.
“I know that already.” He looks around the room, probably trying to find another excuse. “No. You don’t know what I know.” “Well, Kirill, you’re not doing a great job at keeping me interested.” “It’s your sister!” I turn toward Max as his eyes darken. “What about her?” he asks as if Kirill threatened Nina. “Not yours.” My head falls back a little as I try to understand him. “Yours, Giovanni.” “Bullshit. I don’t have a sister.” “You do. Her name is Sloane, she’s in Russia right now. She’s eighteen. Raised in an orphanage. Your father put her there. I’m shocked you never knew. She was right under your nose.” “Tell me more.” “Let me live.” “That’s how I know you’re lying to me.” “Why would I lie with my life on the line? I’m only telling you now for leverage.” “Her last name. I want it now.” “She doesn’t have one.” He stiffens his stance. “I have a picture.” He reaches into his wallet and takes out a small photo. I grab it from his hands, not taking my gun off him. “Guns.” I tell Max and Enzo to take over as I look at the girl who might be my sister. Her hair is long and blonde, eyes as blue as the shoreline. There is no denying she is my sister because she looks just like my mother. “How did you find her? This doesn’t make any sense—my mother died when she was pregnant.” I look down at him, waiting for answers, but he stays quiet. “How is Sloane alive?” I ask, pressuring him for answers. “Your father had his men take her body to the hospital. Once Sloane was healthy enough, he had his men take her to Russia. He was not a bad man, Giovanni. He cared for your sister, just not as his own. He lost all respect for your mother when she slept with a lead in the Bratva. If you kill me, Mikhail will be taking over and he’s worse than I am.” I turn toward him, folding the picture of my sister in my pocket.
“Thank you for the information.” I pull the trigger, leaving his brains everywhere. On the door, Carlo, Max, and myself. And I couldn’t be happier even if I just declared war with the Bratva. After all these years, I have finally achieved justice for my mother. “Your daughter is mine, Rolando. If you know what’s best for your family, you will not complicate this.” He nods as he understands that my name is at the top of the chain. “Nina, come now.” “Boss. What do you want me to do?” “I have to deal with other shit first. She waited this long; she can wait a little longer.” The door opens, and Nina walks calmly at first, then with fear on her face. The door opens further and hits Kirill’s blown-out head. Nina eyes can’t pick a face to look at. She has no idea who did this because we all have blood on our hands. Except Rolando. “Wha—?” She stumbles back, covering her mouth with her hand. She looks down at her feet to see them covered in what would’ve been her husband. “Nina,” her father says in a flat voice, “go pack your bags.” “Papa.” It’s all she can say as she looks at me. As if I am the one who wants to hurt her. “You will marry Giovanni. Go. Pack. Your. Bags.” OceanofPDF.com
O 26 NINA h my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. What the hell just happened? Who is on the floor dead? It takes every ounce of strength I have left to walk up the stairs and run to my bedroom. I swing open the door and slam it shut behind me. My fingers find the lock instantly, and I turn the latch. I walk over to my bed and reach for the duffle bag I have under the frame. It still has clothes in there from years ago when I was in high school and allowed to spend the night at my friend’s house. I grab the bag and head over to my closet. What am I even packing for? I drop the bag to my feet and take in a breath. My entire body is shaking, a bundle of fear and frustration. Just as I collect my thoughts, I lose them when I hear three gentle knocks at my door. I am hesitant to open it, but I hear my sister’s muffled voice. “Let me in.” I unlock the door and open it slowly. She storms in, locking it behind her. I can tell the same thoughts that I’m having are running through her head. I don’t like feeling like this. Anxiety is getting the better of me, making my heart feel like it’s curling up. “Nina. Oh my God.”
“What is going on?” I shout. “Carlo is taking me back home; I don’t have much time. I don’t even think he knows I’m up here right now. Oh my God, he would kill me if he found out I’m telling you this.” “Spill it! Holy crap, Ana.” “Okay. So, apparently, Kirill was a fraud, working against our family and the Genoveses. Something about blood for blood. Giovanni killed him literally right before you walked in. And, oh my God, what else? Oh! You’re packing right now. Yeah, Giovanni is taking you.” I freeze. That was too much information at once, but I needed to hear it. “I want to stay here.” “You’re going to his place.” “What? Why? I can’t go to his house! Even if I am to marry him, I can’t be alone with him yet, let alone move into his house.” “I don’t know, Nina. But listen. I took this from one of Carlo’s men.” My sister, only eighteen years old, hands me a loaded gun. And she seems proud of it. I have never been in the position to use one. Hell, I don’t even know how to use one. “What is this for?” “I’m not saying I don’t trust Giovanni, but just in case.” I take the gun from her hands. The cold metal that could end someone’s life is resting in my hands. “I have to go. Please text me.” Ana rushes out of my sight while her last words replay in my head. I am not married to him; I can’t just go to his house. Of all the ways I pictured my day going, having a dead man’s blood on my feet and being whisked off to a man’s house is not what I expected. “Nina?” Giovanni’s voice crawls into my room. He doesn’t knock; he just comes in. “Oh. Please, help yourself!” “Don’t be like that.” “Like what?” “Like that.” “Just let me finish packing, please.” “You don’t need all that.” “How do you know what I need?”
“You trust me?” I roll my eyes, a rough scoff following. “Get in the car, Nina.” “No.” “For Christ’s sake.” He walks over to me, grabbing the bag out of my hands. “Just do as I say in this moment. You can fight me on it later.” I walk away from him, down the stairs and into the car. I don’t bother saying goodbye to my family because hopefully I will be seeing them again. Fifteen minutes pass by me as we sit in utter silence. Neither of us knows what to say to one another. Before closing my eyes, I see on the GPS that we’re almost to his place. My bags are in the trunk, but before he stormed into my room asking if I was ready, I slid the gun Ana gave me under my dress. I have my back to Gio, but I can feel how a conversation with him would go if we were to have one. The air in the car is tense and bottled up. I wouldn’t know what to say right now even if I wanted to have a conversation with him. How did my night take so many turns? It was going so well, and then it wasn’t. Giovanni showed up. That’s the only logical reason I can come up with in this moment as my mind has turned to mush. I slowly reach for the gun, just in case. It’s not that I don’t trust Giovanni. I think I do. But Ana is right: I can’t take any chances. The car comes to a stop. I open one of my eyes and see that we are in a parking garage, on the top level. “Nina.” His voice starts in a regular tone then falls to a whisper. “Wake up.” I don’t want to let him know that I have been faking it this entire time just to avoid conversation with him. “Miele.” His hands grab my arm softly, trying to gradually wake me up. I pull my gun out and point it toward him. His blink is long and his face unamused. “Don’t touch me.” He looks me up and down, a small smile creasing his face. “You learn fast.”
I raise my brow at him. Only a man like Giovanni would find this interesting. “I—” “You what?” His voice sounds calm. “You want to kill me, Donnina? You’ve got the gun—go ahead.” Shocked by his words, I feel my entire body tense up. I could end everything right now. I don’t want to kill him, but I also don’t want to be alone with him or marry him. “You’re the only person I’d allow to kill me. But deep down, I know that’s not what you want to do, is it, my love?” I look deep into his eyes, trying to understand him. I know this is a test, but why is he leaving the option open? One pull of my finger, and I could kill him. My eyes fall, looking at my hands holding the cold metal. He trusts me, that’s what it is. Rolling his eyes, he knocks the gun out of my hand and points it at me. How in the hell did that just happen? It was one swift motion and now I have the eye of a gun staring at me. “If you’re going to threaten me with a gun, learn how to use one first.” “You won’t hurt me.” He takes the gun away from my face. The bullets fall out of the chamber as he sets the gun down in the center console. “No.” His hand brushes over his chin. “Now, where did you get this?” “I can’t tell you.” “Can’t or won’t?” “Both.” I reach for the door to try to make a run for it. Whatever I can do in this moment, I will. But before I can even reach for the handle, he locks the doors. There has to be some kind of special lock in the front seat because it doesn’t even let me unlock it from the passenger-side door. “God, Nina. You fucking infuriate me.” “Well, what else do you want me to do? You killed a man whose blood is still on my feet!” “I had to.” “No, you didn’t!” “I did, Nina. At this point, I can’t even count on my fingers the number of times I have told you to trust me. Why can’t you do that?” he says,
relaxing his voice after our screaming match. “Why the hell should I trust you? You literally kill people, Gio!” “Every single person I have hurt since Ana’s wedding is because of you.” “Oh no you don’t. You do not get to pin this on me.” “I do, actually, and I will. And from now on, everyone else I hurt is on you. Because if anyone fucking dares to touch you—” His jaw clenches and his fists turn white, verging on a shade of purple. How long has he been gripping the steering wheel? “Let’s just go inside, okay?” He finishes his sentence. “Okay.” He unlocks the door, and I get out before he can lock it again. I walk over to the trunk and open it to grab my bags. Giovanni’s arms snake around me, grabbing my hips. “I can get the bags, Donnina.” His kind gestures are hard to match with his appearance. Gio has always treated me right, give or take a few situations. “Stop calling me that.” I’m trying to sound annoyed, but the truth is, I really like when he calls me that. There are so many things I like about him, but I can’t allow myself to feel those things, because once I do, I am afraid there is no going back. “Donnina?” “Yes, that.” “What would you like me to call you then, amore mio?” I press the heels of my palms into my eyes, creating pressure. “I thought so.” My jaw clutches tightly. I lean against the trunk of his car. I let out a long breath as the exhaustion hits me all at once. I turn around to look at him, not a single drop of emotion in his eyes, which pisses me off even more. I step toward him, his height only making me look weaker. “Fuck you.” “I’d like to.” An arrogant smile forms on his lips. “I hate you.” “You’ve said that before.” “Leave me alone.” “Absolutely”—he looks me up and down like I am a joke—“not.”
“I cannot stand you!” My voice bounces off the walls of the parking garage. “Then sit down!” he yells back at me. I have never seen him lose his temper with me like this before. My eyes widen at him. He’s making me question everything more than I already was. “Hit me, if it’ll help let out your frustration.” He crosses his arms, stepping toward me. “Hit you?” I say, my voice low. “Right here.” He pats the center of his chest. “A punch. You can do it.” I look at his hands, then back into his eyes. Is this some kind of trick? “The offer only stands for thirty more seconds. After that, you can’t get pissed at me anymore.” My brow furrows as my fingers curl into a fist, punching right into his chest. I step back, holding my hand with the other. I think that did me more harm than him. Holy fuck, that hurt. “It’s your thumb. You should have tucked it into your fist, like so.” “Oh, well, thank you so much.” “You done now?” I look down at my feet, my body shaking with anger. Even if I am still pissed, he was right: that did help somewhat. “Yeah,” I mumble as he laughs, putting his arm around me. “Brava.” OceanofPDF.com
W 27 NINA e stand in the elevator going up to the first floor, the penthouse. I don’t know where I expected Gio to live, but this wasn’t it. I glance over in his direction. His arms are tense, holding my bags. Looking down at my feet I remember everything that has happened over the past two hours. The elevator chimes as the foiled doors open slowly. Giovanni’s arms gesture for me to walk before him. I take a step out, and the overwhelming smell of man surrounds me. How can the smell of him feel like the biggest hug? The windows cover the wall from floor to ceiling. They’re so large they remind me of the windows of a storefront. I can feel him behind me, big and captivating. “You have a really nice place,” I say as I walk toward the middle of the apartment. It’s open concept. There is only one hallway leading to the bedroom. I didn’t think there would be a place nicer than my home, but that idea is canceled out. Being here makes me feel like a damn princess. The people below in the city look like ants. They’re so far away it feels like I’m in another world, just spectating. “Thank you.” He puts the bags on a couch that looks like it’s made of clouds. Everything in his place is clean and white. But there are hardly any pictures. The only one I saw was a picture of a forest when I walked out of the elevator. “Gio.” I look over at him. “What is going on?”
“It’s just not safe.” I nod and place myself on the couch. It’s just as comfortable as it looks. There is a flat-screen hanging off the wall, much bigger than anything I have ever watched from. “I thought you didn’t have time for movies.” “Nina, let me take you to bed. I think you need to get some sleep.” He takes a couple of steps toward me, reaching his hand out for mine. I get up by myself. “Show me to my room?” He clears his throat as he tilts his head toward the hallway and opens the door across from the room I assume is his. The bed is a California king with gray bedding and there’s black furniture—the complete opposite of the main room. The bed that is meant to be mine looks smaller than his, but just as nice. I take off my earrings and bracelets and place them on the nightstand. Giovanni doesn’t say anything else as he closes the door behind him. Hot-and-cold. It feels like an entire hour passes as I just stand in the room staring at myself in the mirror, my feet still covered in blood. I want to take the longest shower of my life. I want to curl up under the falling water and never move again. The years I spent trying to avoid all this were for nothing. I feel if I just went headfirst, I wouldn’t be so shocked at the fact my soon-to-be husband murdered the man I was supposed to marry. I finally move my feet, and they feel beyond stiff. I open the door to the bathroom, looking toward the shower. I didn’t pack anything. I don’t have any soap. My hands cup the edge of the sink as I try to figure out what I am supposed to do. Before I can think rationally, I walk over to Gio’s room, cracking the door open slowly. “Gio?” I whisper. He is sitting on the edge of the bed with his elbows resting on his knees. “Are you all right?” he asks with a soft voice—one that sounds so foreign to me now.
“I only have a few clothes. I don’t have any soap.” I walk toward him hesitantly. “Or a toothbrush, or toothpaste, or—” He grabs onto my hands. “I get it.” He nods. “You can use my things.” I follow him into the bathroom. The shower is double the size of the one back at home. There is a double vanity, with only one toothbrush in the holder. “I can have Enzo take you shopping tomorrow to help you get the things you need, but for now, you’ll have to use my things since you didn’t pack correctly.” Because I didn’t pack correctly? He didn’t give me a second to pack. He turns the faucet on, the water falling out of the showerhead like rain. I chew my bottom lip. Is Giovanni being sweet because he is trying to lure me into marrying him? It’s not like I have much of a choice, but the person standing before me right now seems so different than who I knew before. If he acts like he would be a good husband, then I won’t have any reservations about the marriage. But the truth is that every man cheats on their wife. I know Papa has twice, but Mama looks past it. I know for a fact Kirill would have cheated on me. But Giovanni’s gestures make me fall for him, making me believe that I am the only one he has eyes for. I shake my head to rid the thoughts. I know I am just being delusional. His hands grab the bottom of my dress, trying to lift it up, but I stop him. “Let me help you.” “I can wash myself,” I snap. I don’t want to be frustrated with him, but I just don’t know what to believe anymore. If I let him continue to see me, and help me, and act like how he is right is now, there really won’t be any turning back. His hand raises to my face, and I flinch. He steps back, resting his weight on the counter, his hands running through his hair as if he is disappointed in himself. “Fuck.” His voice sounds husky and tortured. I didn’t realize I jumped when he reached for me. I didn’t think I was scared of him, but that was before I saw what he’s capable of doing. I can still feel his touch on my lower thigh where he tried to lift my dress. His touch sends thousands of shocks through my body every time his skin touches mine. It’s a good shock, but I can’t let my guard down. Every
cell in my body tells me that I want him, but my mind tells me otherwise. I have to put mind over matter in a situation like this. “I’m sorry. It’s been a lot today.” “You think that I will hurt you, amore mio?” His hands rub his face in frustration, and he rests his weight on the side of the vanity as I press my hand to his chest. “No.” My words send light into his eyes. I pull his neck closer to me, pressing my thumb against his lips. His eyes fall on mine, and he wraps his arms around my back, trying to pull me closer than physically possible. I feel safe with him, and I trust him. But it almost feels wrong. It feels wrong to want someone this much. To have everything work out. It just seems like the universe is against me. I place a gentle kiss on his cheek as I step away from him and take my dress off. I move under the water falling slowly out of the head of the shower. I have never been completely naked in front of anyone before. For some reason, it feels normal to be like this in front of Gio. I sit down in the shower like I have wanted to ever since I stepped in a puddle of blood. Giovanni pushes off the counter, kneeling before me, absorbing every look he can get of me. I have never felt so vulnerable, but this is something I need to do. If not for my heart, then for the sake of having a stable marriage. The water pours over my body as I hug my knees. “This has never happened before,” I say as I watch Gio struggle with his own thoughts. “Never seen a dead body before.” I reach for a washcloth, but Gio takes it from my hands. “Here. Let me.” He scrubs the blood off my feet. “I never wanted you to see what happened, Donnina.” “But I did.” “Don’t let it hurt your kind heart.” I don’t say anything else. I just let him wash me. I could fall asleep right now. His touch is comforting, not asking anything of me. He runs soap through my hair as my head falls back. “You can stay in here, but I am going to bring you some clothes. Will you be all right?” How many times is he going to ask me that? “Yeah.” I stay under the water for a couple more minutes before I shut it off. I step out, looking down at my feet. I don’t think the memory of today will
ever leave my mind. I look back up and see Gio holding up a towel for me. “Sei bello.” He wraps the towel around me, and I fall into his chest, my head caving to the heat that is Giovanni Genovese. I walk out of the bathroom and find a pair of boxers and a black T-shirt on the edge of his bed. “You don’t have to stay here, amore mio. When you’re ready.” I nod, taking the clothes from him, and slowly walk out of the room. I want to stay, but I don’t think I am ready to be his completely. OceanofPDF.com
T 28 NINA he smell of bacon and eggs fills the air as the morning light shines in my eyes. The door is cracked open, so Gio must have checked up on me during the night. It was hard to fall asleep after what happened. I stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours as I tried to figure out the meaning behind his words. If he really wanted me, why didn’t he just have his way with me? My phone is plugged in on the bedside table. I have three missed calls from my sister, probably worrying her ass off. I find her contact number and call her back. The line rings a couple times before she finally picks up. “Finally! Are you alive?” I laugh into my phone. “Yes, I am.” “Okay, good.” Ana sighs. “Well, how is it?” “He has a really nice place. But things are kind of strange around here.” “What do you mean?” “Well, a lot happened yesterday, and I just don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t know. I don’t want to put all this on you. I just wanted to call and let you know that I’m okay, but I have to go now.” “Let’s talk soon?” “For sure. Maybe we can get coffee tomorrow morning.” I hang up and get out of the bed. I open the door slowly and peer around the corner. Gio is standing in the kitchen, cooking. The place is a lot lighter with the natural light falling through the windows. “There’s coffee.”
His words make me stop. The man has great hearing. He is wearing suit pants but no shirt. I really like the look on him. I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his warm back. “Good morning.” I don’t know why I just walked up to him like this. It almost feels like habit, as if this is my normal morning routine. He turns the gas stove off and turns around. He brings me back close to his body as he picks me up and places me on the counter. “Did you sleep well?” His voice is still raspy with sleep. “I could’ve slept better.” I trail a finger down his bare chest, contradicting every thought I had last night. He looks down at my hand, and a small smile forms into a big one. He grabs my hand softly, takes my legs, and places them around his waist. I pull him closer to me, my arms roping around his shoulders. He picks my chin up with his hand, mouth inches from mine. I can’t force my heart into it, but I know that I want him. His mouth finds my neck, burying his face into me. My head falls back, accepting everything that is Giovanni. My fingernails dig into his back as he bites on my neck gently. I can’t deny how he makes me feel. Everything about him sets me on fire. Right now, I can’t think of a moment better than this. I don’t know how I was able to go through life without him. The way he takes control of me and protects me . . . His mouth finally finds mine as I dig my nails deeper into his back. “Careful,” he says, pulling away from me. The man standing in front of me is the same one I knew before last night. Careless and infuriating. He looks over his shoulder as he moves the food to the plate. I would pay good money to understand what is going through his mind right now. “Stai arrossendo.” He laughs more than I have ever heard him laugh before. “What? You think this is funny?” Not a damn thing about this is funny. What kind of tactic is this? He turns back to face me and places a peck on my lips. “You want me?” I glance to the side. I don’t want to admit what I want. I’ve wanted him for months, and he knows that. He was the one who said it. Of all the people I could possibly want, it just had to be him.
“If this you’re trying to make me fall for you, I’d try a new tactic.” I hop off the counter and start to walk toward my room when I hear him scoff and turn back around. “Amore mio?” A smirk appears on his lips. “Non sembra che devo provare.” “What?” Frustration floods my veins. Why can’t he just stick to one language? “Enzo will be here soon. Get ready.” “Get ready for what?” “He’s taking you shopping.” He reaches for his wallet and pulls out a card. “Here.” He places it on the table. “I don’t need your money—I have my own.” “You will only use mine now. If I find out you used your own, or your papa’s, I’ll have to teach you a lesson I really don’t feel like teaching.” I stare at him in frustration. Why am I fighting with him so much already? The pace of my breathing picks up as my lips press into a line. “Oh, and Nina?” “What?” “Buy a dress for tonight. Remember, I like you in red.” He sends a wink in my direction, only pissing me off even more. I have never been this frustrated with someone before, but something about Giovanni puts me on edge. Whatever the hell that even means. OceanofPDF.com
I 29 GIOVANNI step in front of the valet who’s trying to open my girl’s door. As I open the door for her, I hand him cash with my car keys. Nina walks out and grabs onto my arm. “So, what are we here for?” “I just need to handle some business.” I push through a crowd of people, guiding Nina behind me as we walk toward the stairs. The lights turn different colors every time the beat of the music drops. “I want to dance!” Nina tries to shout over the music. I shake my head at her and wipe my smile off with my hands. I pull her in to whisper in her ear, “That’s not what we’re here for.” I look at her up and down. She wore exactly what I thought she would. A long black dress, silk with a slit cutting down her tanned thigh. She is testing my fucking limits and it’s only been a day. I have no idea how much longer I can hold back. Any man would want their hands on her. I’m trying my hardest to be a goddamn gentleman, but she is tempting me left and right. Restraint only carries me so far. Enzo guards the door to the room full of people I need to talk to. I only wanted Nina here so that she wouldn’t be left alone at the apartment. I have no idea if Kirill’s brother is going to try to get any kind of vengeance, but if I were him, Nina would be my main target. One thing I have taken from all the bullshit my father has said to me over the years is to get inside the head of your enemies. Always be a step ahead of them. “Enzo, watch over her. I won’t be long.”
He gives me a nod in reply. “You okay?” I turn to Nina. “I just need to sort some of this shit out. Enzo will take care of you.” Enzo grabs onto her arm and walks her back down the stairs. I pray to God she doesn’t get herself into a situation where Enzo has to get involved. I have no fucking clue what goes on in her pretty little head. As I open the door, I’m hit with the strong smell of cigarettes. The men around me are coughing all over each other. “Sir—Boss.” He corrects himself. I never bothered to learn their names because they are not important. What’s important to me is where my money is going. I walk to the corner of the room and pour myself a glass of whiskey. When I turn around, I have eight pairs of eyes staring at me as if they think I’ll shoot the place up if they say the wrong thing. “So, what’s the deal? Where the fuck did my money go?” “We’ve been searching for the files. We think one of the bartenders has taken a large sum of it.” I shake my head. I thought it was a good idea to hire people who knew nothing about what I do, but I was dead wrong. This is why men like me normally have their cousins work for them. “And what are you going to do about it?” I down the whiskey like it’s a shot. A drink this expensive is meant to be savored, but I am losing my patience with many things around me, so the faster my body absorbs the alcohol, the better. Another man chimes into the conversation. “We’re going to search their accounts. The twenty grand that was taken wasn’t in cash, so it’ll be in their withdrawals.” “I don’t give a fuck about the money exactly. I care about who is taking it, and why they are taking it.” Another sip falls down my throat. The room is filled with poker tables and women. I am not watching a single one of them like I used to. The room isn’t closed off completely; the wall to my left has a view of the entire club below me. I tune out what these idiots are saying to me when I find Nina dancing her heart out with some random stranger.
My teeth grind together as I rub my head. What the hell does this girl think she is getting into? I did warn her that if she talks to any other man, their death will be on her hands. Does she not think I will do it? Fuck. I wave my hand at the men across the table from me. “Just do what you have to do.” I slam my glass down on the table and swing the door open with pure rage filling my veins. As I push my way through the crowd of sweaty people, I finally lay eyes on what is mine, and only mine. Where the fuck is Enzo? He won’t hear the end of this. Nina’s back is toward me. I don’t think she even knows I am standing behind her. I roll up the sleeves of my shirt. My arms grab her lower back. I turn her around quickly in one swift motion. Once her eyes find mine, her tense muscles relax. Something about her is different than before I left for Italy. This Nina seems arrogant and careless. I grab onto her arm and pull her to the bar, picking her up and sitting her down on the stool. I step between her legs, grabbing onto her throat to pull her ear to mine. “What the fuck was that?” “I didn’t do anything wrong.” She bites on her bottom lip. She’s trying to get under my fucking skin. “I am going to teach you a lesson in respect.” “Oh, please do.” A smile gradually appears on her red-painted lips. “You will listen to me from now on, or I will have you begging me in more than one way.” My hands trail down to her chest as she sucks in a sharp breath. “Or what?” she asks, challenging me. “Or I will fuck you in front of everyone here, so they know you’re mine.” “You wouldn’t.” My jaw tightens as I lick my lips. She doesn’t know me at all. Screw control and respect. My hand glides along her bare thigh. She tries to stop my hand from venturing further, but her weak arms won’t stop me. She has pushed me too far, to the point of no coming back.
“Gio, stop.” I don’t. My fingers reach beneath her dress, pulling the lace that’s in the way of what I want. “Gio.” Her voice falls into a soft moan, and I push one finger into her. Her nails try to dig into my back like they did this morning, but she can’t because of how many layers I’m wearing right now. “I’m finishing what you fucking started.” I can feel how much she wants me. How she needs me. My lips find hers as I move another finger in her. She moans in my mouth, the sound almost throwing me over the edge. I need to get her the fuck out of here before I lose the control I have left. “Take me home,” she whispers into my mouth. I pull my fingers away from her, moving her legs to the side. “Then get in the fucking car.” My hand grabs her hair as I pull her closer to me again. Her lips smirk at me. I love how easy it is for me to get what I want from her. This isn’t a game to me, but she is making it one. I was going to go easy on her, but she’s lost that opportunity. OceanofPDF.com
H 30 NINA e leads me out of the elevator, pushing my back against the wall gently as his face buries into my neck. I lift his shirt up, trailing the bumps on his stomach. His abs make my knees buckle, making me feel insanely weak. His hand wraps around my neck, gripping it tight but leaving me enough room to breathe. His touch is captivating, consuming. There is no feeling better than being his. I want to touch every single square inch of his body. I relish in the feel of him all over me. My breathing is labored as he tugs on my dress, trying to rip it off. “Stop! This was expensive,” I moan as he successfully rips the bottom half of my dress, leaving my legs exposed to the cold air. “I’ll just buy you a new one.” His voice comes out raspy. His reaction to my body makes me feel empowered, in control. But that is anything but the truth. He is in control. A strong tingling sensation wraps around my chest as he lifts me off the ground, and I wrap both my legs around him. If I am going to commit myself to Giovanni this much, I want to get to know him. “What’s your favorite color?” “Don’t have one.” “What’s your favorite season?” “Don’t have one.” “What’s your favorite sport?” “Don’t have one.” “Jesus,” I say, letting out a moan as his thumbs dig into my thigh and he kicks open his bedroom door. “Do you like anything?” “You,” he moans into my mouth. “You’ll be the death of me.”
His words creep into my ear, turning me on even more. He places me on the bed, and I push him off me. “What?” He shakes his head far too many times to count. “Just wait here.” “Sure. Take your time.” He falls onto the edge of the bed, his arms resting on his knees. All this time, he’s acted like he doesn’t want me, but he can’t control himself anymore. He can’t even control his lack of patience. I exit his room and enter mine, grabbing one of the bags I brought home today from shopping. I knew I would have my way one way or another, so I bought something for him. “You really know how to drive a man crazy.” His voice travels through the hall as I let out a laugh. I take my dress off and throw on the red lace I bought today. Believe it or not, Enzo helped me pick it out. I chose not to wear a red dress to piss off Giovanni, so that I could make it up to him this way. Enzo thought I was being ridiculous, but since I am to be the wife of a Don, it’s not like he had any choice in the matter. I throw on a sheer white cardigan as I walk back across the hall into his room. I lean against the frame of the door as he looks me up and down, his mouth almost dropping to the floor. “Fuck,” he mumbles, covering his mouth. “Did you buy that today?” “When else would I wear something like this, Gio?” “You know I respect you, right?” He walks over and looks down at me, my cheeks heated by his stare. He pulls me in toward him, lifting me off the floor again. “Just keep that in mind, please.” He lays me on my back, his lips leaving a trail of warm kisses down my stomach. “Gio?” “Yes, amore mio?” “How many women have you been with?” My question throws him off. “They don’t matter.” He doesn’t move me as his hands roam up and down my body, halting on my breasts. “Ever since the wedding, Nina. No one.”
His eyes fall to the side once he sees the disappointment in my eyes. I never expected him not to have been with anyone else, but I am envious of the other women he has been with. “Are you still on birth control?” I nod, wondering how he knows that, but then I remember that my personal business seems to be the talk of the town. “Nina, you’re all there is for me.” His words fill my heart with hope. I know that when I marry him, it will either be a business agreement or a love story. I want to ignore what everyone has told me about love. They all say it’s a ridiculous idea I put in my head by watching too much television and reading too many books. But being with Gio makes me believe that anything is possible. I pull him down by his tie, tugging down his pants. Unlike the other times, he allows me to pull them off. I bring my lips to his, wanting to taste him again. The sweet taste of Giovanni—rum and mint. A taste I could never get tired of. “Fuck.” He sighs, pulling the sheer top off me. “You don’t know what you do to me.” “Then show me,” I say as he grumbles, taking off the red lingerie I put on for him. “I will own your body.” His hands cup my breasts, and he runs his tongue over my nipple. “All mine.” He looks deep into my eyes, waiting for a response. What does he want me to say? That I am his? If I said differently, it’s not like he could do anything. “Do you understand, Donnina?” His finger rubs gently over my clit but stops exactly where I wanted him. He tilts his head at me. My breathing picks up as I try to guide his hand back down. “I understand.” His mouth bites down on my nipple. A deep fire steeps underneath my skin as he bites down harder, sucking on me. He gently pushes a finger into me. My back lifts off the bed. The feeling of his tongue running down my body makes my legs shake. He parts my legs with his as he trails kisses down my body. His head falls between my legs and licks my thighs, teasing me too much. “More,” I tell him.
“Eager,” he says as his hands grab the sides of my thighs. His tongue falls on my clit, his mouth showing me what pure torture feels like, the pain so good I don’t want it to stop. My fingers pull on his hands as he lets out a muffled moan, his tongue moving in circular motions, making me forget my surroundings. He feels so fucking good on me. His fingers continue to pump inside me with his mouth still claiming me. “Oh my God.” His throat burns in a rumble, accepting everything I am. Pressure builds inside me as I get close. My head falls back, accepting the pleasure he gives me. Everything in my mind shuts off, but his licks continue. “Gio,” I say, trying to get him to stop. He lifts me up and pulls me close to him. “Sei facile da accontentare.” My face heats when he looks at me. “Fuck. English, please. For once.” “You are easy to please.” I smile at him. I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or not. I stand up off the bed, but he pushes me back down on the mountain of pillows. “I’m not done with you.” I pull him close to me by the band of his boxer briefs. I lift his shirt, but he pulls it off before I can. “Only getting started, Donnina.” He stares into my eyes as he takes off the last item of clothing separating us. “I’ll go easy.” He’s trying to reassure me, but it doesn’t help. It only scares me. I’ve heard what other women say about him. He’s rough. His body falls onto mine, his arms holding him up. Gio pushes the tip of his dick inside me. “Relax, amore.” I do as he says and grab onto his arm. His muscles are tight as I dig my nails into his skin. “Solo per me.” I look at him as I try to process what he said. It almost translates perfectly. Only for him? He slowly pushes in further. He grabs my neck, bringing his lips to mine. I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him into me.
He moves inside me, pushing in and out slowly. “I want all of you. Give yourself to me. Let go.” His words calm me in a way that I cannot begin to explain. I dig my nails into his back, pulling him in closer to me, begging for more. How can something hurt so bad but feel so good? Each sound that falls out of his mouth makes me lose every sense I had left in me. His grip around my wrists tightens, holding me captive in his arms, his weight falling on top of me, licking and biting my neck. The way he kisses my neck makes my skin sting with satisfaction. I need him. I don’t think I could ever be without him anymore. “Ah, fuck.” He groans, holding the back of my head in the palms of his hands. I feel tiny in his arms. I’m so filled by him it pains me. I hold in a whimper, my hand grabbing my mouth. “No.” Giovanni takes my hand off my mouth. “Let me hear how I make you feel.” A tremble fills me as my fingers curl around his neck. His voice is so deep it makes me forget how to breathe. I hold onto him as I feel all of him. Skin to skin, nothing in between us. I feel everything. I moan into his ear, making his skin shudder. His words make me weak, with every thrust bringing me close. I knew being with him would be intense, but whatever I thought before has washed away from my thoughts. It is so much more than I ever thought it would be. My legs tighten around him as I climax, heat pulsating in my core around him. He kisses me with a purpose. With his lips wet, his kisses rough and messy, he marks my neck, staking his claim on me. His fist grabs a handful of my hair, his body hovering over mine. His thumb runs over my bottom lips as a low grumble of satisfaction falls from his throat. His lips hover over mine as he spills inside of me, dripping onto the bed. I couldn’t escape him now even if I wanted to. His breath begins to slow down. He trails the tips of his fingers down the side of my body.
I am his, and he is mine. He shakes his head. “Those clothes you bought today, amore mio?” His voice is deep and out of breath. “What about them?” I say as his head falls onto my bare chest. My fingers run through his hair, trying to hold him closer to me even though I couldn’t be any closer. “I want them in my closet by tomorrow.” “Done.” I sound fully invested in him, because I am. OceanofPDF.com
P 31 GIOVANNI ulled from my sleep, the eye of a pistol is placed against my forehead. I look over at Nina who is still sleeping and pull the sheets over her, turning my attention back over to the figure holding the gun to my head. Mikhail. “Not here,” I say. I don’t have much to bargain with; he has me exactly where he wants me. Vulnerable. But I’d do anything to make sure Nina isn’t involved. Fuck, it’s probably Nina he wants. I killed his brother, and now he has to deal with that loss. He tilts his head toward the door. I take another look at Nina, who is still sleeping peacefully. I get out of the bed slowly, hoping not to make any noise. After I’ve grabbed a shirt, Mikhail follows me to the elevator. I stare straight forward at the silver doors as I try to figure out how he got up here. Where the fuck is Enzo? I click a button on the elevator that sends an alert to my men. They’ll be here in ten minutes tops. But if I’m being completely honest, I don’t know if I have ten minutes. I don’t have a single fucking weapon on me either. Last night with Nina, I really let my guard down. Fuck.
“What did you just click?” His voice is deep, filled with hatred toward me. I get it. Shit, I feel that toward him right now, and he hasn’t even done anything yet. “The parking garage,” I say, sounding annoyed. “I don’t want this shit in my house.” The elevator doors open and four men are there to greet me. Not my men. His. The gun is pressed to my back now. “Go.” He pushes me forward. As I stand in the middle of his men, I can’t help but realize he is putting me in the same position I put him in a little while ago. Only I’m not curled up in the fetal position. “Your biggest mistake, Giovanni?” Mikhail says while messing with his gun. “Falling in love.” I don’t say anything because he’s right. I knew falling in love with her could be used against me. It’s my fault—my timing was shit. I should have dealt with my father before I continued whatever I was doing with Nina. “You have to carry a target around with you. You’ll always have a weakness.” “She’s strong.” “Oh, no doubt. But not strong enough to get you out of the hole you’ve dug yourself.” He walks up to me, trying to have a face-off. What the fuck is this shit? “Why not just get this over with, no?” “Giovanni. Spades, God, what’s the deal with that anyway?” I furrow my brow. “Something about being the strongest, I guess.” He laughs. Six minutes. They’ll be here in six minutes. “The suits. How many others are there?” He talks to his men. “Max has hearts, and Marco has diamonds,” one of the men says. “No one wants the lowest?” He laughs again. His back turns to me as he walks toward his men. Never in my life have I ever felt so unprepared. I want to blame Nina, but I can’t. Mikhail carries the same energy I used to have. Not giving a shit about what happens, just making sure you are the strongest in the room. That used to be me before Nina. In a way, I still am that person, but it’s only for her. I’d do anything to protect her.
She is my life. I snap out of my thoughts as I shake my head. I look up at him, trying to figure out what his game is. “No.” “I’ll take clubs then.” A smug smile forms on his lips. “I’ll show you just how fucking brutal the bottom of the chain can be.” He circles around me. “You killed my brother.” “I did.” I’m not going to deny it. “I’ll think about making this a quick death for you.” He kicks my legs in, forcing me to the ground. “But that’s only because I knew my brother was working against you. That shit really pissed me off. I looked up to him in a way. But I don’t believe in working against families you want to be a part of, you know?” His eyebrows raise as he looks to the ceiling. “Just leave Nina out of this,” I finally get out. “Oh, for sure. This doesn’t have much to do with her.” He crouches down to the ground, just as I did with him before. “I get why everyone wants her. Hell, maybe I’ll take her once you’re gone.” A small smirk creases his face. I clench my jaw, my anger getting the better of me. I bring my head back and slam it into his. He doesn’t make a single noise to the hit he just took. He almost looks even more interested. He’s a fucking brick wall, mentally and physically. “Boss!” Enzo makes his way toward me from the opposite side of the parking garage. He takes out his handgun and fires it aimlessly. He crouches behind a car as Mikhail and his men draw their weapons. I get up from the ground and take Mikhail’s spare gun from his holster. Before I can think, I shoot right at him. The bullet goes through his right shoulder. “Enzo!” I shout. “Where the fuck are the others?” I continue to shoot his other men, as does Enzo. “He had more men outside. Julio is gone, and so is Remo.” I shoot a few more times before the rest of Mikhail’s men rush to leave the building. They will be right back to get him, so I have to hurry. “Fuck.” I shake my head. How the hell did all this happen? I walk back to Mikhail. He’s struggling to get up. “You were wrong.” I kneel to his level, pressing down into the wound. He doesn’t release a single sound. How much fucking pain do I need to inflict on this man before he shows me he’s hurt?
“She makes me strong.” I shoot him once more in the leg. I don’t know how I missed it before, but it’s true. I have someone to protect now, and that makes me strong. The love I have for her is something I’d start a war for. OceanofPDF.com
M 32 NINA y mouth feels like I swallowed a ball of cotton. I open my eyes slowly, throwing my arm over to the other side of the bed and landing on his warm chest. My hands fall down on my face as I realize what happened last night. I was with Gio. I am with Gio. The idea of that is hard to put together. It’s like solving a puzzle with missing pieces. I used to hate when he was around me. Then it led to me not being able to control how my body felt around him. I sit up, looking at the bathroom, trying to wake myself up so I don’t look a mess in front of him. I push myself off the bed, but my arm gets tugged back, my body falling on top of his. “Where do you think you’re going?” His voice sounds deep and raspy. “I was—” “Yeah? You were what?” His arms wrap around me. I feel so small in his arms, but so large. “You were going to stay here with me.” He buries his face in my hair as I lay my head on his chest. I let out a laugh. I don’t crave the attention from him anymore; I crave everything that is him. I feel complete with him, even though he made my life hell for a while. The sound of his heart racing floods my ears. His heart is beating this fast in my presence.
He lifts me up, pulling me closer to his lips. His hand ventures to the back of my head, and my lips press hard against his. He kisses me slowly, with passion. A shudder waves over me as he groans. His tongue finds mine, fighting for dominance. Just as I’m falling into his hold even more, accepting that Gio is a drug I can’t help my addiction to, his phone goes off. “Aspetta, amore mia.” He gently lays me back down on the bed as he grabs his phone off the nightstand, walking out of the room. His voice trails through the hall. “Genovese.” I shake my head, the palms of my hands finding my eyes. I get out of the bed and walk over to the bathroom. The cold water splashes my face, waking me up entirely. I need to go back to my house to grab my things. When Enzo took me shopping, I didn’t buy the things I normally would. I got so caught up in shopping without my mama telling me what I needed to get. She always wants me to wear specific things, and while they all look nice, I’ve never been able to get the things I want. I hear a loud crash from the main room as I rush out. Gio stands in the kitchen, the morning light caressing the structure of his face. He swears into the phone with a tone of anger, sending goose bumps down my arms. His voice scares me, especially since I have no idea what he is saying right now. He hangs up the phone, his elbows resting on the white countertop, hands scrubbing through his hair. “What’s going on?” I ask hesitantly, resting my weight on the wall. He looks up at me, almost as if he’s shocked to see me here. He turns around and tugs open a drawer. From what I can see, it looks like it’s filled with paperwork. Mama calls this the “junk drawer.” But his looks neat and organized. He pulls out a box. “This is for you. You will only use this one from now on, so I know where you are at all times.” He pushes a phone across the counter. I walk toward him, opening the box. It’s a much nicer phone than I have right now. “What, are you trying to track me?” I laugh even though I shouldn’t. “Give me your old one.”
“What?” “Your old phone—give it.” I look down at my phone, wondering what he wants with it. I don’t have anything to hide, which only makes me even more confused. “Okay.” I hand him the phone, and he snatches it from my hands. He nods as he walks toward the bedroom, and I follow. His back is stiffened as he puts on his suit. “Where are you going?” My heartbeat picks up rapidly. “Enzo will be here in five.” He rushes out of the bedroom, making me feel like a lost puppy for following him again. “Giovanni. What is going on?” I ask in a firm voice. He grabs his keys off the counter, rushing toward the door. I grab his arm, and he stops suddenly, as if he didn’t see me before and my touch made him realize I am right next to him. My eyes search his, looking for the man I was with last night, but he is gone again. “Not right now. I’ll be back tonight. Don’t go anywhere.” His chin rests on top of my head as he leaves. I take in a deep breath. Something tells me an unfaithful marriage is the least of my concerns. Enzo arrives in exactly five minutes. The man is as punctual as a military man. He sits on the couch across from me, his jaw tight, watching me as I set up the new phone Giovanni got me. There is no doubt in my mind that this phone has a tracker in it, but he will also be able to see what I do on it. I don’t mind because I really don’t have anything to hide, but it only makes me come up with more questions. I turn the TV on so that the silence with Enzo doesn’t get more uncomfortable. The sound pouring out of the speakers reminds me of my old house. I jerk my head toward Enzo, who is just staring at me. “So, how did you and Gio meet?” I ask. “Miss, I don’t mean to be rude, but that should not interest you.” I push my eyebrows together. “Yes, it should.”
He lets out a low grumble as if I am the inconvenience to him. “Childhood friends, you could say.” “I see. And why does your childhood friend have you watching over me like I’m a child?” “Just doing my job, Romano.” “Where is Gio?” “Not available.” “God. You men are ridiculous.” “At least you’re aware.” His lips curve into a smirk. I roll my eyes and lift myself off the couch. I shoot him a glare and walk to the bedroom. The apartment feels empty without him here. What the hell am I even meant to do today? I call my sister, because she is probably doing nothing as well. The lives of wives to the Genovese men . . . “Helloooo?” my sister says into the phone. “Hi. What are you doing?” “Twiddling my thumbs.” She laughs. “Me too. Enzo is here holding me captive.” “Are we living the same nightmare? Carlo is gone too. When did Giovanni leave this morning?” “At like seven. Someone called him, and he rushed out in the blink of an eye.” “Yeah, they’ve got to be doing something together then because that’s the time Carlo left.” “Want to help me plan a wedding?” I laugh, trying to change the subject. I might be marrying into this crappy lifestyle, but I may as well have fun with it. Gio did leave his card after all. “Yes! Are you doing it at Mama and Papa’s like I did?” “I’m thinking about it.” I open my laptop, the one thing Gio doesn’t have to track. “Let’s get this started,” Ana says as I hear her laptop power on. OceanofPDF.com
E 33 NINA nzo lifts himself off the couch as Giovanni walks in. I have been scrolling through so many websites trying to piece together the wedding that the day slipped right past me. Enzo never tried to make conversation. I only came back out into the living room because I felt bad for leaving him alone. I always let myself feel guilty for other people. I don’t know why. Their deep voices merge together in whispers. I don’t know why they are speaking quietly—it’s not like I understand their language anyway. Speaking of which, I should really learn Italian. I think it could help. They shake hands as Gio walks him out. The air in the room tightens as Gio walks toward me with a stride that means business. “How was your day?” He sits down on the couch, casually asking me what I did with my day as if I haven’t been trapped here like a Disney princess. “Where were you?” “How was your day?” His jaw tightens as he repeats his question to avoid mine. My blinks turn long as I stare at him, and he stares back. The game we have always played just doesn’t seem to end. I stand up from the couch, looking down at the man who is supposed to tell me everything. “We are off to a great start.” Anger boils my blood as I walk out of the room. I don’t want to know the details of what he does; I just don’t like these secrets. I want to know where he is, and who he is with.
I put on one of his shirts. His smell is all over me now. His shampoo and conditioner, and his shirt. Fresh laundry, teakwood, and mint clinging to my skin. I want to curl up in his smell. I open the door to my bedroom and walk out into the hallway. Giovanni has a movie playing silently in the background. He’s changed out of his suit; he is only wearing gray sweatpants now. The way he looks at his laptop so intently makes the corner of my mouth lift. He is so handsome. I look down at myself, his shirt almost a dress on me. He doesn’t know I am standing here just watching him. Normally, it’s the opposite way around. His hand runs over his jawline, his veins making his tattoos pop out. He has so many of them. His entire skin is covered in ink. Detailed. And then there are the scribbles I inked on his collarbone. I take in a deep breath. I want to make this work between us, but I want answers. I need them. “Gio,” I say softly, the sound of my own voice scaring me. I didn’t expect to want to talk to him again tonight. He looks up from his laptop, eyes refocusing on me. “I’m sorry.” I swallow, somehow wanting to push past everything that has happened. He tilts his head, telling me to come to him. My feet walk along the cold hardwood floors as I make my way toward him. His eyes look me up and down. The city lights flood into the apartment, somehow making the place feel more comfortable. I have never been a city girl, but I could get used to the view. I take a seat next to him. “Don’t apologize to me again.” His arm reaches over, his hands cupping my face. I pull away from him. Not because I want to fight with him, but because I know that if I touch him even a little, I will forget everything that makes me hesitant to be with him fully. I stare forward, trying to figure out what movie he has been watching—or not watching.
“What’s on your mind? I want to hear every pretty little thought.” His shoulders tighten as if he’s regretting the words that came out of his mouth so effortlessly. I could ask him everything I want to, but a part of me thinks it would frustrate him. His stare burns into my eyes as he waits for a reply, but I can’t answer his question because I don’t know how he will react. My eyes scurry around his apartment when I realize just how much I don’t know about him. I know who he is, but I want to know the depths of him. I don’t want this surfacelevel crap. The only thing I know for sure is what he does for a living. But I am going to marry him, and I want to know who I am marrying. “I can tell you one thing for sure, Nina. I would never hurt you. I don’t want you feeling scared around me. The things I do are meant to protect you. All I want from now on is for you to be safe.” He grabs my waist, pulling me in toward him with his arms wrapping around my back. He grabs the blanket that was hanging off the side of the couch and wraps it around me. “If you are going to understand one thing, let it be that.” I nod as I fall into his arms. His words are reassuring. I never expected a man like Giovanni to show how much he cares. And the person he cares this much for is me, of all people. Maybe it’s the life I was surrounded by growing up, but I have deep trust issues. Each word, each syllable, that comes out of his mouth takes a brick away from the wall I have spent years putting up. “Pick a movie.” He hands me the remote. “What do you want to watch?” “Whatever you put on, amore mio.” “What about Titanic?” “Maybe something a little less depressing.” My mouth falls to the floor as I laugh. “That’s my favorite movie you’re insulting.” “That’s your favorite movie? Out of all the movies that exist.” “Yes.” He mutters something in Italian. “Why me?” I finally ask the question that has been eating away at me. “What do you mean?” “Out of all the women you could have, why do you want me?”
He closes his laptop and places it beside him. Then he lifts me up so that both my legs hug his waist. He looks into my eyes as if he can tell me the whole story with one look. “I’ve had my eyes on you for years.” His fingertips trail down my collarbone, reminding me of the night he claimed me as his before I knew that I would ever be. All this time I thought he wanted something from me. I didn’t think it was me he wanted. I relax my shoulders, placing my arms around his neck. Gio watches me intently as I inch closer to his lips. His hands cup both sides of my face while his thumb traces my jaw. I can tell he wants to pull me in further, but for some reason, he is hesitating. He leans his head back, away from mine, without taking his eyes off me. “Nina,” he sighs as I drown in his words. “I know.” “You don’t.” I press into him, feeling every inch of him beneath his pants. “I don’t want to continue this until I answer all your questions.” He presses his lips against mine before he lifts me off him. He stands up, offering me his hand. I take it, and he brings me to the balcony. The door opens, sending a gust of wind through my hair. The air is colder than I thought it would be. I walk over to the edge of the patio, holding the bar that separates me from death. His body presses on the back of me as his hands curve on top of mine. His head dips down to my ear. “Ask your questions, my love.” Looking down, I see the cars are so small they look like rocks, and the people look like ants. I shift my head to the side, allowing his lips to touch my neck. This is the exact reason I didn’t want him to touch me: I lose all rational thought. I can’t even remember what I was frustrated with this morning. I can’t be mad at anything when he touches me the way he does. I look down at his hands, the year 2004. My hands lift from under his, and my fingers trace the numbers. “What happened this year?” I ask, my voice almost giving up on me.
“That’s the year my mother was taken from me.” My breath halts. I thought she died of natural causes. “How old?” “Twelve,” he answers. “That’s the year I became who I am.” “Twelve is too young.” I shake my head, trying to think about anything but his touch. I can feel his chest on my back rising and falling. “Where were you today?” I finally find the question that was hidden deep inside my mind. He grabs my chin gently, bringing my attention to the street below that leads out of the city. “See that road?” he asks with a hum in his voice. “I do.” “Down that road is a man who wants you. I thought I took care of it last night,” he says with annoyance in his words. Who wants me? What? Last night? “Nina—” He grabs my hair, moving it to the side. “There is so much you don’t know.” The traffic below fills the silence between us. “My father was behind it.” “What?” I try to turn toward him, but he pushes me closer to the rail. “Kirill was too. My love, do you understand blood for blood?” “I do.” “I took two. Even if one was my own, they can take another.” Even if one was my own? Oh my God. The fire? That was Giovanni? He killed his own father. “And now they want you.” His words make my skin crawl, shivers creeping all over my body. “Gio,” is all I can say to him. He turns me around, his head tilting down to mine. “Do you understand now why I can’t take any chances with you?” I was desperate to know what was going through his mind all this time. All of this happened while I was just going about my daily life with no worries in my head. “La mia vita è tua.” He presses his lips to mine, deepening my need for him. I back my head away from his. “They want to kill me,” I say. “My body is yours. I am your shield. I am your armor. I will kill anyone who tries to take you from me, I promise.” He sighs. “I have a sister. I don’t
know anything about her besides her name. Sloane. I have to find her; I owe it to my mother.” “How long have you been looking for her?” I had no idea he had a sister. Why is this the first I’m hearing about it? “Kirill told me . . . before.” “Before you—yeah, I remember.” “I’m still looking for her, but I need to keep you safe. I have Enzo searching, but he can’t find anything either.” “You’ll find her.” He turns me around, and his mouth slams onto mine, sending a feeling of ecstasy through my body. I shudder from the power he has on me. My body is yours. His lips on mine feel exactly how I imagined they would. His teeth graze my lip, and I shudder at the sensation. I open my mouth, allowing his tongue to find mine. He lets out a muffled groan as his hands tighten around my ass. His hands roam over my body as if he can only have me in his arms once and is trying to take as much as he can before time runs out. I part my lips from his, grabbing onto his neck. “I want to know you.” “You already do.” “No. I want to know you.” He nods as he steps back from me. “My favorite color changes each day. Whatever color you wear is my favorite.” He leans against the rail, his eyes focused on the city below. “My favorite thing to do is walk in the city to grab a coffee. My favorite food is pumpkin pie, believe it or not. My favorite season is winter. My favorite day is the eighth of October, the day I knew you would be mine. I can’t think of anything else.” His head dips between his shoulders as he laughs. This is the man I knew was beneath the layers of hurt. The layers of anger. “And there is nothing more in the world I love more than you.” His eyes look deep into mine. OceanofPDF.com
I 34 GIOVANNI t’s been a couple of weeks since Nina moved into my place, but we need to pick up her things from her parents. I can’t keep putting that off. My arms wrap around her and pull her body close to mine. I bury my face in her hair, the sweet smell of coconut falling from each strand, her warm body holding me captive. Her chest lifts as she giggles. The soothing sound of her voice breaking in the morning warms every dark part of me. “Morning,” I say. She turns around, shaking the bed to face me and look me in the eyes. “Good morning.” Small dimples appear in the middle of her cheeks. “Pink or green?” She speaks in a whisper. “What kind of green?” I ask, intrigued. “Like . . . emerald.” “For what, amore mio?” “Our wedding!” I turn her face toward mine, eyes exhausted, but spirits high. God. This woman is all mine. She will either marry me, or I’ll be showing up to her wedding with more than a handgun. I grab her by her waist, pulling her body onto mine. Her hands run through my hair as her eyes look deep into mine. “You look tired. Did I work you too hard?” She places a soft kiss on my lips with a small laugh. “I was up late planning our day, which I would love your help with.” Her eyes squint. “What are your plans today?”
I don’t care about those plans. If I could forget about all the things I need to manage just to spend all day in her arms, I would. I have never been one to imagine a future with someone, but that changed the moment I looked at the woman in front of me. People always leave, but she won’t. Not if I have a say in it. Thankfully, I do. “I put together a family dinner for you,” I say with a half-smile. “At my papa’s?” I nod as I sit up on the bed, her body still wrapped around mine. “Oh, I’m so excited! Is everyone going to be there?” Her arms drift down my back. It’s taking all of me not to fuck her here and now, but I do need to get some things done today. “I think so,” I continue. “They’d better be.” My fingers run against the side of her face, her skin feeling soft as silk, hair all tangled up from sleeping but still smooth. “I want to pack up some more of my things. All my paint, my dresses, my DVDs, my—” I shut her up with a kiss because if I don’t, she’ll ramble on for years about the most stupid shit. I move her body off mine. “Go get ready then,” I tell her as I do the same. I pull the car up the long driveway, parking it right in front of the entrance. The weather is beginning to get colder. I take off my suit jacket and place it over Nina. “Go, quick,” I mutter as I watch her slip out of the car, running into her old home. I drive the car to the side of the house where the garage is. I exit, slamming the door behind me when I see Max talking with Marco. The man I assume was supposed to have Nina. Sometimes I cannot stand Nina’s dad. He is always working against me, but I always have the last say. “Genovese,” Marco says, sticking his ground. “Max, what’s going on?” “Nothing, I was just inviting Marco to the dinner you planned.”
Max crosses his arms, his clothes looking dirty. I never knew he was a car person until now. There are stains on his shirt as if he has been working on the piece of junk next to me. “Year?” I ask, popping the hood. “1994.” I nod, patting Max on the back. The smell of oil and tar fills the garage. I walk toward the door that leads into the house but turn my head when I hear Marco clear his throat. “Congratulations, Giovanni. She’s a great person.” “Thank you. She is.” I smile genuinely because he is telling the truth. I can’t even get mad at him for thinking it. OceanofPDF.com
N 35 NINA othing has changed in this house, but it feels so different. It almost feels cold. I used to think a home was a place that had family pictures on the wall, a sister who stole all my things, a brother who never failed to claim the room’s energy, and loud shouting from a mother who couldn’t ever seem to shut up—but in the best way. While I love all that, it doesn’t feel like home anymore. Over the past few weeks, I have found such comfort with Gio. Being in his arms, hearing him laugh—that is what feels like home. “Mon bébé,” Mama says, walking toward me, her arms wide for me. “You have a glow.” I shake my head. Please don’t. Not in front of Papa. “You are pregnant!” she says instead of asking. “Oh my God!” I roll my eyes, trying to walk away from her, but she grabs onto my hands. “I’m not.” “You are.” “I. Am. Not.” She scoffs, cupping my cheeks. “Ugh. I have missed you. I think I am empty nesting.” I laugh and look at Papa, who is also laughing. “How are you?” he asks as I walk over to him. “I trust things are well.” “They are.” I don’t know what else to say. I want to shout at him for some reason. I almost never had this because of him. I would have had to marry an old man with no ear, or God knows who else. “I am happy for you, piccola colomba.” He smiles. I stare at him, shocked.
Little dove. For some reason, my whole life I wanted him to accept everything I did, even though I went against him all the time. The past two years were the worst. We lost every connection we had. But when he calls me “piccola colomba” like he used to when I was little, I can’t help but feel my heart warm. “Thank you, Papa.” Giovanni’s hand lowers to my back as we walk into the restaurant. We walk over to the table full of my family laughing together, sipping wine. “Psst,” Gio says, tilting his head to the hallway as I grin at him. I throw my head back as if I am upset. I grab onto his hand as he opens the back door leading into the alley. “What are we doing, Gio? It’s freezing!” He laughs as he takes his jacket off, placing it on my shoulders. I shiver even though I am a little bit warmer. “You wore a beautiful dress.” He eyes me up and down. I specifically wore red because I didn’t want to recreate the scene of having red wine all over a white dress. “Thank you,” I say, shoving his chest. He grabs my waist, pulling me closer to him, the heat from his body warming mine. “Je vous aime.” My head jolts up to his. “That was French,” I say with a smile. I love you. “Did you learn French for me?” I bite down on my bottom lip. “Only those words. That’s all you get.” A smile takes over his face before he buries his face in my neck, placing gentle kisses on my skin. “And what if I want more?” I ask. “You’ll have to earn it,” he whispers in my ear, nipping the cartilage. He lets me go, his hands in his pocket now. His smile’s wiped from his face. “Gio, what’s wrong?” I ask nervously. He sighs deeply, kneeling on the ground before me. “I love you so much it hurts. I have never loved anything in life more than you. For years, I have
wanted you to be mine, Donnina. I want to do this the right way.” His words strike through my chest, making my heart beat fast. “I know things still aren’t safe, but I will do everything to keep you safe.” The man I thought was too dark inside to love, the kind whose soul is so captured by what he does, is kneeling right in front of me. I love him too. And it does hurt, but it’s the good kind. Loving someone this much, always wanting the best for them, no matter what. A love that is so consuming every inch of my skin begs for his touch. He pulls a velvet box out of his pocket, opening it. “Will you marry me, Nina?” I’m already engaged to him—what is he doing? I look down at the ring with my mouth falling open. The ring looks like it is made of a pink star, the kind of diamond that is unbelievably rare. The band around it is black. Gio clears his throat. “Sorry, I may have stated that as a question, but it wasn’t.” He stands up, taking my hand and slipping the ring on my finger. I look down at it, my hands shaking. The gem is dainty, exactly how I would want my ring to be. I have never been the kind of girl to want some huge and glamorous ring to flaunt, but somehow Gio’s made it look subtle. He tilts my chin up, making me look him in the eye. “Yes.” I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling his lips close to mine. He pulls his lips off mine, cupping my face with both his hands. “Forever mine.” “Forever yours.” “When we get home, I am throwing your fucking pills away. So if you ever decide to run, you will always have a little reminder of me running around.” He laughs, kissing me softly. “Not that you would run.” He tilts his head sideways. “You want to have kids?” is the only question running through my head. I will never run from him, and he knows that. But I do understand why he is telling me. I have a feeling this is what every man in his profession says to their soon-to-be wife. “I do, molti di loro.” “I don’t understand you,” I say, frustration building inside. I want to be with him, but I could do without the language barrier. He needs to stop using it against me.
“I want many of them, my love.” He kisses my forehead, my cheek, my nose, and my lips. “You will be a great mother. Hopefully not as crazy as your mama though.” He laughs, and I do too. “Now, let’s go celebrate, no?” I nod, grabbing onto his arm. I never thought in a million years that defying my father would bring me the greatest joy in my life. And never in a million years did I think that the greatest joy in my life would be Giovanni Genovese. “Mrs. Genovese,” he says, holding the door open for me. I smile softly, but somehow it feels like the smile is taking over my entire face. I stand on my toes, kissing him quickly. “I love you.” “Anche io ti amo, Donnina.” OceanofPDF.com
EPILOGUE OceanofPDF.com
“A GIOVANNI Two Years Later ny luck?” my wife asks me as her hands snake around my shoulders. “No. I don’t know how she stays hidden this well.” “Maybe she doesn’t want to be found. Remember, you have no idea what she’s been through.” My hands freeze over the keyboard. I’ve been staring at this screen for hours on end each day trying to find the girl who is supposed to be my sister. I can’t help but think she is involved with the Bratva. It would make sense. That’s how she is able to stay hidden so well. I grab onto Nina’s hands and pull her close, into my lap. “I’ll find her, but I don’t need you to worry.” She looks down, picking at her fingernails. She has always done this. It’s not even a nervous tic anymore; it’s just something she does. Ever since she moved in, I have taken note of almost everything. She hates sugar in her coffee. Her showers need to be scalding hot. Her nails always need to be painted. “You can’t tell me not to worry—your eyes are turning purple from lack of sleep.” “As long as yours aren’t, then I’m doing something right.”