Psychology Now

LUCID MINDFUL DREAMING
DREAMING
TRAIN YOURSELF TO
Learn how to control your LUCID DREAM
dreams and you can help
steer your destiny If you want to learn how to lucid dream,
here are a few tips to help
H ave you ever realised you’re
dreaming in the middle of a REALITY TESTING
dream? Usually a dream feels
real and you only realise it’s Try to perform a reality check a few times (around
not once you wake up, but a ten times) during the day to remind yourself to do this
dream where the person is aware that they when you’re dreaming too. For example, look at your
are dreaming is called a lucid dream. feet to ensure they’re grounded. If they’re floating off

Some people have trained themselves to the ground, you’ll know you’re dreaming.
have lucid dreams so that they are able to
control elements of their dreams, a bit like MEDITATE
being in a movie where the lead can change
parts of the plot. If you can learn how to lucid Meditation can help with lucid dreaming. Try
dream, every vision and sensation will feel meditating once during the day and then again half
so much more real. You’ll be able to enjoy an hour before going to bed. A healthy mind and body
every moment of fulfilling your fantasies by will help you achieve lucid dreams. Meditation helps
kissing your favourite rock star or making to clear your mind and make you more self-aware. The
yourself able to fly, for example.
more you practise, the better it will work.
Lucid dreaming therapy can also help
you tackle your fears. Afraid of heights? You WAKE BACK TO BED
can scale a mountain in your dream with no
fear for your safety. You can even use lucid The wake back to bed technique is a way of adapting
dreaming to tap in to your creative side; paint your REM cycles to help you have lucid dreams. Get
a masterpiece or compose a symphony. It’s six hours of sleep and then wake yourself up, get out
your dream; you can do whatever you want of bed for 20 to 60 minutes and then go back to bed.
to do and be whoever you want to be. By
achieving this in your dreams you’ll also MNEMONIC INDUCTION
learn how to believe in yourself more when
you’re awake. Lucid dreaming is rare but it is Mnemonic induction is a process of repeating an
possible. The more mindful you are, the more action until you fall asleep, such as counting sheep
likely you are to achieve it. before bed. Try repeating the words “I will dream
tonight and I will be aware that I will be dreaming” to
You can’t read while you’re dreaming
Want a quick and easy way to tell if you’re train your brain to lucid dream.
dreaming or not? You can’t read or tell the
time when you’re dreaming. If you become KEEP A DREAM JOURNAL
aware that you may be dreaming, try to see
if you can read something or check the time Writing a dream journal is a good way of training
to determine whether or not what you’re yourself to lucid dream as the more you remember
experiencing is real. your dreams, the more aware you’ll become. Write

Lucid down your dreams and then reflect on them.
dreaming Researching lucid dreaming will also help you. The
therapy can more dedicated you are, the more success you’ll have.
help tackle
your fears 101

PSYCHOLOGY NOW

MINDFUL DREAMING

THE IMPORTANCE OF

DREAM ANALYSIS

Learn to understand your dreams and
you will learn more about yourself

S igmund Freud believed that ANALYSING YOUR
dreaming was the “royal road OWN DREAMS
to the unconscious,” and he
developed dream analysis The more you analyse your dreams, the more you’ll start to understand
as a way of unlocking the about yourself, your mind and how to achieve wellbeing. Recording your
unconscious mind. We may not truly dreams is important because you want to remember as much detail as
understand what dreams are or why we
dream, but analysing your dreams can be possible and be able to re-read what you’ve written to reflect on this.
invaluable when it comes to discovering Write it down as soon as possible, try to identify how you were feeling
more about yourself. It’s a controversial idea,
as many scientists don’t believe dreams have or what the dream could mean, and don’t forget to consider all the
meaning. But many believe that by accessing elements – the meaning is not always immediately obvious.
your unconscious and giving meaning to
your dreams, you can discover things you
never knew about yourself, unravel your
deepest desires and heal whatever troubles
you the most.

You don’t need a dream dictionary to do
this. While you may be able to read up on
specific dream symbols and their meanings,
it’s more important to reflect on your dreams
and what they mean to you. Research
has shown that dream analysis can be an
important part of mental health therapy, but
you need to be careful. If you dream you’re
going to fail an exam, don’t assume this
means you’re going to fail in reality. You can’t
let your dreams drive your actions. Instead,
reflect on the meaning of this and how you
can use it for a positive result. Yes, you may
be stressed about your exam, but your
dream may just be highlighting this stress to
encourage you to calm down and consider
how you can reduce this stress.

Seeing the future
According to a recent survey, up to 38% of
people have precognitive dreams, meaning
they see something that hasn’t yet happened
but will happen in the future. When
interpreting dreams, it’s important not to
think that if something happens in a dream, it
will become a future reality.

reflect on
your dreams
and what they
mean to you

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DREAM REFLECTION HAVE A MINDFUL

Thinking about the meaning of our dreams BEDTIME ROUTINE
goes hand in hand with being mindful
Whether it’s drinking camomile tea,
L ife can be complicated, but CREATE A RELAXING moisturising or meditating, make sure
if you want to slow things the hour before you go to bed is stress-
down, take the time to better SLEEP ENVIRONMENT free and calming. Write down what your
understand yourself and bedtime routine is and how you can be
improve your wellbeing, To help you have a positive dream
reflecting on your dreams can help you do experience, you’ll want to de-stress more mindful before bed.
this. Like everything in life, it takes practice. and put yourself in a relaxed state
Mindfulness is like a form of therapy. It before you go to sleep. A quiet, dark
involves focusing on your mental state, trying room will help you sleep, and don’t
to be present and aware, and acknowledging forget to keep a notebook by your bed
your feelings, thoughts and sensations. This to record your dreams. Write down
ties in very closely with learning how to lucid five things you can do to create a
dream and interpreting the meaning of our
dreams. It’s important to think about every relaxing sleep environment.
element of your dream: where you are, what
you’re doing and how you’re feeling. The
place you dream about reveals a lot about
your state of mind. For instance, if you dream
about the office, your mind may be focused
on work. Are your dreams ordinary or
fantasy-filled? Are you trying to resolve issues
in your everyday life or are you looking for
an escape? Do you feel happy, anxious or
inspired? The more time you spend reflecting
on your dreams and trying to decode them,
the more you’ll achieve. You may not want
to admit the truth, but your dreams will help
you and, in turn, you’ll feel more mindful. Try
writing down your thoughts too. This may
help make their meaning more clear and you
can come back to these at any time.

Can cold rooms cause bad dreams? CLEAR YOUR MIND

While it’s a myth that cold rooms cause If you’ve had a busy day, you’ll want to declutter your brain before you go to sleep
nightmares, it’s true that if you’re too hot or to avoid bad dreams. Try writing down five positive things from your day,
too cold you won’t sleep as well, and you
may have bad dreams as a result. You want or perhaps write down what frustrated you and how you plan to work through the issue.
ideal sleeping conditions. Also consider what Then take deep breaths and clear your mind.
you have eaten and the day you have had, as
these may influence your dreams too.

PRACTISE YOUR

SLEEP MANTRA

Once you’re ready to go to bed, it’s a
good idea to repeat your dream mantra

either out loud or in your head. Think
about what you’d like to dream about.
If you focus on these, it will help you
dream about them. You can even make
a note of them in your dream journal.

GET A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP © Getty Images

Good dreams go hand in hand with a good night’s sleep. Try to work out how many hours of sleep you need to feel rested, and try
to keep the amount of sleep you get consistent. If it helps, you can write down how much sleep you get each night to work this out.

PSYCHOLOGY NOW 103

THE SCIENCE OF EMOTIONS

THE

SCIENCE
OF

How our ancient brains evolved the perfect way
to keep us safe by controlling the chemicals in

our minds to moderate our behaviour

WORDS CHARLIE EVANS

H ow are you feeling right but humans cycle through such a vast array limbic system is the most primordial part of
now? Are you relaxed laying of emotions throughout their lives it can be your brain, thought to have first evolved in
on your sofa and listening difficult to distinguish them from one another. early mammals. It’s filled with ancient neural
to the gentle sounds of the pathways that activate our emotions in
dawn chorus outside your Emotions are not a simple experience. response to stimuli, and controls our fight-
window? Or maybe you are tense with your Every time you feel something, your body or-flight response through the autonomic
shoulders hunched up around yourself as initiates a physiological change, a chemical nervous system.
you try to get five minutes’ peace in a busy release and a behavioural response. This
office? You would think that it is easy to work process involves multiple processes working This response evolved from a need to make
out if we are happy or sad, angry or calm, together, including your major organs, decisions based on our emotions. As our
neurotransmitters and limbic system. Your body fills with adrenaline and our heart starts

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THE SCIENCE OF EMOTIONS

racing we prepare to react. Do we stay to fight nervously in the dentist’s waiting room, or Reading
the bear that has come scavenging for food, you could be excited as you wait to see your the emotions
or do we flee to somewhere safe? We can still loved ones after they return from a holiday of others is
feel the effects of this response. When we are – the physiological reaction is the same. The a vital skill
confronted for not doing the dishes we might interpretation of emotions is our logical brain for navigating
feel the same fight-or-flight response as our rationalising these responses and describing our way
adrenaline starts to flood our system. Our them as feelings. We take into consideration through life
heart rate and breathing increases, the fine the context and label our emotions
hairs on our arms might stand on end, and accordingly. However, we don’t all do this the
our hands feel clammy as we decide if we are same way. Because our bodies cause different
going to stay and argue or if we are going to floods of chemicals in response to different
escape to to safety of our bedroom. environmental triggers, each person naturally
reacts to situations differently.
The biological sensations in our bodies in
response to emotions can feel very similar to Have you ever seen someone who is
one another. Imagine your palms sweating, being berated in a meeting but facing the
feeling your cheeks warm as they flush red, onslaught with nothing more than a slightly
and your heart pounding in your chest. raised eyebrow? Or watched as someone
You could feel this because you are sitting finds out some bad news but keeps their

ANGER FEAR DISGUST HAPPINESS SADNESS SURPRISE NEUTRAL

ANXIETY LOVE DEPRESSION CONTEMPT PRIDE SHAME More
active

ENVY

Less
active

Emotions as sEnsations

We feel our emotions, and not just in our their emotions by mapping the sensations to fight or flee, or to encourage us to seek
head and heart – our bodily state changes topographically. Their findings were out enjoyable social reactions.
to react to the chemical storm in our system. consistent across Western European and
We might feel a tight knot in our stomach East Asian cultures, which suggests the way The study included more than 700
as we dread walking onto a stage to give people feel during an emotional experience participants from Finland, Sweden and
a speech, or we might feel our cheeks flush stems from a biological source rather than Taiwan, and researchers induced different
red when we answer a question wrong. a cultural interpretation. The study also emotional states before asking them to
highlighted that emotions adjust our bodily colour bodily areas on images of the human
Researchers from Aalto University in state to either prepare ourselves physically body to describe in which areas they felt
Finland explored how humans physically feel activity increasing or decreasing.

106 PSYCHOLOGY NOW

THE SCIENCE OF EMOTIONS

anterior cingulate cortex posterior cingulate cortex tHE anatomy
This area is involved in assigning This region is responsible for the of Emotions
emotions to internal and external recall of emotional memories, and it
stimuli and is responsible for the is stimulated when we daydream or
vocalisations associated with our recall past experiences.
emotional states.
Different areas of your brain

paraHippocampal gyrus and body are stimulated by
This area is responsible for different emotions
storing emotional memories, and
visual and auditory processing.
It helps us interpret what we are
feeling based on the context.

HypotHalamus Hippocampus pHysical
This region regulates The hippocampus is responses
hormones and controls responsible for making Our emotions can
the autonomic nervous memories. It can help us lead to changes
system in response to regulate our emotions in our bodies, such
stimuli. It can trigger the by allowing us to as the feeling of
release of insulin, increase compare events to ‘butterflies’ in
heart rate or redirect similar past experiences. your stomach,
blood flow, for example. your heart racing,
centre of emotion and so on.
amygDala Your brain recognises
This small structure is external stimuli and 107
responsible for detecting fear generates a physical and
and preparing our bodies for emotional response. It can
an emergency. Stimulation of do this even when we are
this area causes anxiety and not consciously aware of
defensive behaviour. the stimulus itself.

septal nuclei minD tHe gap
(not visible) The neurotransmitters
These structures diffuse across a gap
(located near the known as the synaptic cleft
hypothalamus) are to reach the next neuron
linked with feelings via receptors (beige).
of social connection.
They are particularly transmission
active when we have When the neurotransmitters
positive feelings bind to the receptors, they
towards others, such cause the neuron’s ion
as unconditional channels to open, letting
trust or empathy. ions (small, yellow spheres)
flow in, triggering the next
cHemical messengers nerve impulse.
When a nerve impulse
reaches a synapse, it cannot
jump directly to the next
neuron. Instead, it triggers the
vesicles (larger pink spheres)
to release neurotransmitters
(small pink spheres).

PSYCHOLOGY NOW

THE SCIENCE OF EMOTIONS

tHE cHEmistry of Emotions

Where two neurons meet, a very small gap (synapse) exists between them. The electrical impulse travelling along
the axon of the neuron must convert into a chemical signal to bridge this gap. The chemicals that do this are called

neurotransmitters. These so-called chemical messengers are involved in our different responses to situations.
Your emotions depend on fluctuating levels of neurotransmitters, which cause the activation of different parts of the brain
responsible for different moods, or activate parts of the brain that trigger the stimulation of the autonomic nervous system.

OH

O O

O O O HN O
O N 2N

S H HN

S O H HN O

N O NNN
O HH
N O N N OO O O O
O HN NH
2 OH

NH 22

ADRENALINE NORADRENALINE DOPAMINE OXYTOCIN

Released by the adrenal glands Similar to adrenaline, the This is the addictive reward Also known as the ‘cuddle
that sit on top of each kidney, release of this chemical can chemical that your brain craves. hormone’, oxytocin is released
adrenaline increases the flow of result in increased levels of It serves to motivate you to seek when you’re close to another
blood to our muscles, raises our alertness, helping to prime us out the things you need for your person. It’s essential for making
heart rate and dilates our pupils. for action if needed. It also
It is crucial in our fight-or-flight increases our blood pressure survival. We can sometimes strong social bonds, and it’s
and widens our air passages. find ourselves enslaved by this also a key part of why we want
survival response.
ancient reward mechanism. to trust people.

OO

O N O N OO
O O N

GABA ACETYLCHOLINE GLUTAMATE

Responsible for regulating muscle tone, This is the main neurotransmitter in The most abundant neurotransmitter
gamma-Aminobutyric acid (GABA) also the parasympathetic nervous system in the vertebrate nervous system,
regulates the communication between brain that slows our heart rate, contracts glutamate is used by nerve cells to
cells. It can calm us down by reducing the smooth muscles, dilates blood vessels
transmit signals to other cells. Too much
rate at which our neurons fire. and increases bodily secretions. of it can cause cognitive impairments.

O N N
ON
O
N O R
N O N
O

ENDORPHINS SEROTONIN

Triggered by the sensation of pain, endorphins work Serotonin is linked to our wellbeing and happiness,
to inhibit the transmission of pain signals. Capable of and our levels of it are affected by exercise and
producing a sense of euphoria, studies have suggested exposure to sunlight. It also helps to regulate our
mood balance, sleep cycle and digestion.
endorphins may also be stimulated by laughter.

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composure? You are sure that you would tribe to help us survive by working together The next time you sit in an airport
have raised your voice or burst into tears, to find food and shelter. Anger is a response departure lounge, look for the emotions. Our
but our responses are defined by how our to perceived social threats or a signal of bodies have created these experiences – the
neurons are networked together. Our past dominance, pride can help us to boost our tears as we say goodbye, the smiles and
experiences and genetic predispositions social status, while shame is intended to laughter as we are reunited – for the purpose
influence our brain chemistry and therefore decrease our standing within a group. These of keeping us alive. Our emotions and feelings
our physiological responses, which in turn emotions maintain the social balance of our are fundamentally what make us human, but
determine how we react to various situations tribe – who we follow, who we trust, who we it means we’re in for a bit of a rollercoaster
– like someone cancelling on us last minute, care about. along the way.
or having a friend surprise us by showing up
at the front door unannounced. The fundamental emotions that motivate How many
us individually are almost always sadness
At times our emotions can seem like an and happiness. Sadness results from loss, and Emotions
irrational response, but our brains have serves the biological purpose of motivating
carefully evolved these mechanisms with a person to recover that loss, whether it is do wE
just one target: keeping us alive. While we a young child searching for their mother in
interpret different emotions as positive or a supermarket, or trying hard to get a new HavE?
negative, the most ancient parts of the human job after being dismissed. But the ultimate
brain developed them on the principle that human emotion is happiness, and we are all It has long been thought that there
we must survive. We evolved emotions as in search of it. are only six different emotions:
a means of communicative function and to anger, disgust, fear, happiness,
help us navigate social interactions and our When you’re sitting around a campfire,
environment safely: they are designed to safe in the countryside with some close sadness and surprise. It has been
protect us. Our fear responses were originally friends and good food, you feel happiness hypothesised that any other
a survival tactic that warned us of potential because you have found the resources that
dangers, such as our innate unease around your primitive brain is seeking. Our species emotions are just a combination
spiders and snakes. Then there is the feeling is drawn so much to happiness because of these basic feelings, such as
of disgust, which warns us of foods or other this emotion is our brain’s reward system anticipation being caused by a
substances that may be dangerous. for finding environments where we are free mixture of fear and happiness.
from threat. A healthy human brain copes However, a recent study published
Our other emotions are responses to social with sadness when social bonds are broken, in Proceedings of the National
interactions that keep us part of a group. communicates with our loved ones and can Academy of Sciences of the United
We are fundamentally a social species, and recognise and regulate our emotions even States of America from researchers
throughout our evolution have relied on our when they do not feel particularly positive. at UC Berkeley suggests that we
may have many more emotions
We feel our emotions, and that are distinctively different to
not just in our head and heart one another, but still related.
- our bodily state changes to The study used 2,185 short videos
react to the chemical storm with the intent to evoke emotions
in our system in the 853 participants. Clips
included a cute baby playing with
UnivErsal ExprEssions some fluffy puppies, a man holding
a tarantula inside his mouth, and
Reading the emotions of others is a vital photos displaying various emotions, a happy couple getting married. © Getty Images, L Nummenmaa et al, Aalto University
skill for navigating our way through life although there are some cultures Participants were asked to record
– it would be awkward to misunderstand around the world that do not have the how the videos made them feel and
your friend as happy when they’re same perception of certain emotions. how strongly it evoked a response.
actually angry with you. The study suggests that there are
One study found that people living 27 distinct emotions, including awe,
There has been a long-established in the Trobriand Islands off Papua New awkwardness, calmness, confusion,
view that the way we express our Guinea didn’t interpret images of people
feelings using facial expressions is who were wide-eyed with their lips disgust, nostalgia, sadness,
universal and crosses all cultures parted as they gasped as a sign of fear. sympathy, horror and triumph.
for seven basic emotions: anger, Instead, the Trobrianders interpreted
disgust, fear, joy, sadness, surprise and this emotion as anger. This research is
contempt. For over a century, studies some of the first to suggest that how we
have explored the theory of universal express our emotions is not universal,
expression by asking people to interpret and may differ between societies.

PSYCHOLOGY NOW 109

BUILD BETTER RELATIONSHIPS

BETTER

You may not have the ability to change other
people but you do have the power to improve

your relationship with them

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BUILD BETTER RELATIONSHIPS

h ow do you get on with those WORDS SARA NIVEN Here we look at five factors to bear in mind
around you – your partner, for building better relationships.
children, parents, siblings, sometimes it can be healthier to walk away
even colleagues at work? (easier with some types of relationships than Lend an ear
Would you describe your others, of course). Possibly one of the most powerful tools in
relationships as good in the main or do the relationship improvements box, active
things often feel strained with definite room The good news is that when it comes to listening is very different from sitting nodding,
for improvement? the daily niggles and gripes everyone has wondering when you will get your chance
or unhelpful patterns of communication we
Although when we talk about relationships may have fallen into with our nearest and
in general, romantic ones first tend to dearest, a lot can be done to improve matters.
spring to mind, but our attachments and
interactions with other people in our life can
be similarly significant.

“Relationships are key to our health and
happiness and give meaning and purpose
to our lives,” confirms chartered clinical
psychologist and author Dr Jessamy
Hibberd. “We’re highly social beings and early
humans needed to live together and get on
in a group to ensure survival. This means
we have a deep need for social inclusion
and research shows that a lack of social
support is as bad for you as smoking. Social
isolation is associated with heightened risk
of disease and early death, whereas warm
and supportive relationships have long-term
benefits for health and longevity.”

If a relationship isn’t going well, we may
find ourselves harbouring feelings of
anger, resentment, guilt or general sadness,
depending on the situation and how it
impacts on us. For a relationship that has
seriously broken down, be this due to a
betrayal, major disagreement or other
factors such as drug or alcohol addiction,
professional help may be the best option
to try to work through it, either by seeing a
counsellor alone or ideally in the form of
couples or family therapy. Unfortunately
though, even with the best will in the world,

When to seek professional help

However hard one person tries, sometimes it’s not enough to get a relationship back on track,
and it can be worth seeking professional help if you want to try to salvage it.

“Every relationship has ups and downs, and arguments in themselves aren’t necessarily a bad or unhealthy thing
if they lead to issues being resolved,” says Dee Holmes of Relate. “When something seems to be continually
looping around however, and arguments become less about practicalities and more of a personal attack with
insults and resentment building, that is a red flag warning sign. Counselling with a qualified couple or family
therapist can provide a safe space, free from distractions for people to start to get to the bottom of what the

real issues are and how to work through them. It ensures a discussion doesn’t escalate into just another row and
the counsellor can reflect back what they are seeing going on to help additionally.”
To find out more about Relate and the services offered, visit www.relate.org.uk.

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to speak or carry on with whatever you confirms Dr Hibberd, author of The Imposter for instance) but is definitely worth the effort
were doing. And it is the complete opposite Cure, (Octopus, £12.99). in terms of the difference it can make in any
of muttering ‘Uh huh,’ while browsing your kind of relationship.
phone as someone tries to tell you about Pointers for active listening include good
their day. eye contact (not staring intently, which can be A balancing act
intimidating), open body language (leaning Relationship expert, therapist and author Dr
“We have so many pressures, distractions towards the other person and avoiding John Gottman extensively researched the
and pulls on our attention that it can be crossed arms and legs), and an awareness of secret of lasting, healthy relationships and
difficult to be fully present even with those when to respond and when to stay quiet. noted that the couples with these clock up
closest to us but ensuring someone feels five positive interactions for every negative
heard and understood is really important,” It’s important not to interrupt or one. Dr Gottman even claimed to be able to
immediately override someone’s story with predict the marriages heading for divorce
active one of your own – ‘You think that was a bad based on this magic 5:1 ratio.
listening can day, that’s nothing – wait ’til you hear mine!’.
take practice “The bottom line: even though some
but is worth Instead, when they finish speaking, try level of negativity is necessary for a stable
the effort showing that you have been listening by relationship, positivity is what nourishes your
summing up what they’ve been saying love,” his website states.
without judgement and with an invitation for
them to continue. ‘So, it sounds as though you An interaction can be as simple as a loving
felt disappointed today because you didn’t touch or gesture such as reaching for our
get the feedback you were hoping and had partner’s hand or simply an experience of
worked hard for?’. being listened to attentively, as described
previously. A negative one can include
For something seemingly so simple, active something neutral like failing to make a
listening can take practice (it is a learned skill
when people train to become counsellors,

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BUILD BETTER RELATIONSHIPS

Child’s play

If you are a parent, building a healthy and trusting relationship with your child is probably
one of the most important things you will ever do. You are effectively helping to shape another

human being’s self-esteem, and providing them with a good grounding for later life.
“When you communicate well with your child, it leads to a strong relationship, greater cooperation,

and feelings of worth,” confirms therapist Zinny Perryman, who has specialised in working with
children and family interventions. “If the opposite is the case, it can lead to your child switching off,
conflict and feelings of worthlessness. They are far less likely to open up about any difficulties or worries

and it can be easy to lose touch with what is going on for them.”
She advises:

Be as courteous to your child as you would a close friend. If you regularly interrupt them
halfway through a story or break off to pay attention to something else, you are sending the

message that what they have to say isn’t important.

Unless other people are specifically meant to be included in the discussion, hold
important conversations with your children in private. Embarrassing them or putting them

on the spot in front of others will lead only to resentment and hostility.

Avoid towering over younger children. Physically get down to their level to talk face to face.

Use ‘door opener’ statements like ‘That’s really interesting’ or ‘Tell me more about that’ to
encourage your child to share ideas and feelings and show you are interested and respect what

they have to say. Your tone needs to be genuine and your focus on them.

If you are very angry about something, unless it is an emergency that needs addressing
immediately, wait until you feel calmer and more objective. Address the behaviour rather than
labelling the child – they may have done something you view as stupid or bad but they are not

a stupid, bad child. Your child needs to feel accepted even if their behaviour isn’t.

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comment on something our partner shows us
as well as dismissive or critical statements such
as shrugging our shoulders to indicate we don’t
care or rolling our eyes sarcastically.

Dr Gottman stresses that couples need to
regularly demonstrate appreciation and respect
for one another, something that sometimes
gets lost over time. Although his balance theory
has been developed to apply specifically to
couples, there may be lessons that can be taken
on board for other relationships given that
everyone has a need for appreciation and we
can all be guilty of taking others for granted.

Make the time

Without quality time together, it’s easy to
lose touch with what’s going on in someone
else’s life, even when we’re living under the
same roof. We also have less shared, positive
experiences to cushion the difficult times or
negative experiences, becoming ships that
pass in the night, or even ships set on a clear
collision course whenever the sea gets stormy!

“Quality time doesn’t have to involves hours,
it could be as little as half an hour or even
ten minutes in some cases,” explains family
and couples counsellor Dee Holmes, who is
a senior practice consultant for Relate. “It is
about managing that time and keeping it free
from distractions. If your partner or child wants

a friend indeed your company or attention and you have
no choice but to take an urgent call or dash
A good friend is worth their weight in gold but when life is busy, off for an appointment then be honest and
how often do you manage a catch up? With some people boasting let them know when you will be available
for them later. But it is a good idea to build in
hundreds of ‘friends’ on Facebook, it can be all too easy for pockets of regular time for family members –
friendships to become more virtual than real. Perhaps you used to perhaps you decide that for half an hour after
send cards but now it is much easier to post a quick ‘Happy Birthday,’ your child comes home from school you will
or you’ve been messaging a friend for months but neither of you spend that time uninterrupted with them or
when your partner gets back from work you
have actually spoken on the phone for a year, let alone met up make a habit of having a cup of tea together.”
to see each other in person.
While quality time can involve watching
If this sounds familiar, it really can be worth making a little effort TV or a film together, Holmes stresses that an
to bring a friendship back to (real) life. An unexpected phone call important aspect is the togetherness of an
activity rather than simply people’s proximity.
just to ask how they are, a card or ideally an arrangement to
meet (that doesn’t get postponed or cancelled so many times it “I see children walking to school glued to
never happens) can make all the difference, as will taking a genuine their phones like zombies when previously
interest in what is going on in their life as opposed to only wanting they would have been chatting to friends
walking alongside them,” she observes.
to tell them about what is going on in yours. “Similarly, families can often be in the same
room, all on different devices without any
You never know when you will need your friends so it is worth communication and it is something we hear
cultivating them and showing them how much they mean to you complaints about in the counselling room. It
rather than leaving them feeling you only ever reach out in a crisis. can be a good idea to set healthy boundaries
regarding the use of social media, such as
114 no phones at the dinner table or during a
certain time of day. These boundaries will be
different for each family.”

Dr Hibberd agrees on the significance of
time and how it is spent. “Having experiences
together is important in relationships,
whether that’s something major or something
as simple as sharing a meal or a joke.”

PSYCHOLOGY NOW

BUILD BETTER RELATIONSHIPS

we can’t have a clue you see something as a problem
assume others, as it hasn’t been the case in a previous
even those relationship. You can’t underestimate the
closest to power of explaining.”
us, will be
mind readers She points out that it is also easy for
miscommunication to arise when using
Explanations and understanding text or WhatsApp, where there is no tone
Have you ever experienced a situation where of voice or body language to help with
someone stomps around, slamming doors communication. However, there may be
with a pained, angry expression on their face, times when writing things down can be
leaving you unsure if you have upset them, useful in opening up lines of communication.
and feeling it is best to stay out of the way?
“For a situation in a family that continues to
Later you discover they were stressed over cause issues or arguments, you might suggest
something completely unrelated to you, or everyone writes down three things they feel
alternatively they thought they were sending would be helpful in resolving it and then sit
out a clear message they were tired and and discuss them. Sometimes writing a letter
needed help but you had no idea. to a partner, parent or friend could be a useful
exercise if you find something very difficult to
“When difficulties arise in a relationship, I broach face to face or think they may not let
often ask people if they have told those close you finish what you want to say.”
to them how they feel and am often told
they would expect that person to already Role play
know,” explains Relate’s Dee Holmes. “But we If you’ve ever noticed that your interactions
can’t assume others, even those closest to with different people vary and they seem to
us, will be mind readers. They may interpret bring out different sides of you, welcome to
a situation completely differently or not the world of Transactional Analysis, or TA.

This is a theory developed in the 1950s
that is used by some therapists to help
explain why we think, feel and behave the
way we do, particularly when it comes to our
relationships with others. Very simply put,
the theory involves three sub personalities
known as ego states – Parent, Adult and Child
– that we regularly switch between (with

some further divisions within these, such as © Getty Images
Nurturing Parent and Critical Parent).

It explains that we take on different roles
depending on who we are dealing with and
how we feel at that time, and it can be easy
to fall into unhelpful patterns and roles.
Realising we are doing this provides the
opportunity to shift gears into a response that
can improve interactions and relationships.

For example, if you are regularly annoyed
with your partner about not doing their share
of household chores, it can be easy to assume
the role of Critical Parent and come out with
an angry, judgemental statement.

Switching into our rational Adult ego state
means we might say something like ‘I feel I’ve
been doing most of the chores this week and
am really tired. I know you’re working hard
too but I’d appreciate help tonight’.

This invites the other person to (hopefully)
respond as an adult as opposed to taking on
the role of sulky child or becoming critical
themselves and telling you all the things they
feel you haven’t done that week, with the risk
of the conversation escalating into a row.

Our relationships, whether with relatives,
partners, children, friends or colleagues, are
wonderful things and enrich our lives. By
being more aware of them, we should all get
more out of our own relationships.

PSYCHOLOGY NOW 115

THE POWER OF IMAGINATION

THE

POWER

OF

The human brain has the unique
ability to take what it knows and

dream up something new

WORDS LAURA MEARS

C an you imagine a purple dragon up. But the ability to imagine hasn’t always Scientists think that the ability to make
riding a bicycle with three been there. mental pictures exists across the animal
wheels? No other animal on the kingdom. It’s a phenomenon known as
planet has that power. You have When modern humans started migrating ‘imagery’. But it’s not the same as imagination.
the ability to take mental images out of Africa around 100,000 years ago, they Take bicycles, for example. When we see a
of objects you’ve seen before, break them were still using the same simple tools as their bicycle, networks of neurons fire in the visual
down into their component parts and rebuild ancestors. It was another 60,000 years before processing regions of our brains. To store a
them into something new. human creativity really started to explode. memory of what the bicycle looks like, the
brain needs to remember which neurons lit
Combine a reptile and a bird and you Between the emergence of modern up. To do this, it strengthens the connections
have your dragon. Recall the purple colour humans and the ‘creative explosion’, between them. This is a principle known as
of a flower and you can paint its skin. Think mutations in our genes slowed down the Hebbian learning – ‘nerves that fire together,
about the mechanics of riding a bicycle and development of the brain’s processor, the wire together’.
you’ll be able to position its body on the prefrontal cortex. This enabled the thinking
frame, forelegs on the handlebars, hindlegs part of our brain to get much bigger, and this The result is that the brain forms a web
on the pedals. Now you just need to decide in turn enabled our skills of visual processing of connected nerve cells that represent
where you want to put that third wheel. This and language to combine. Neuroscientist a bicycle, together known as a neuronal
skill is incredible, and it’s shaped the course Andrey Vyshedskiy argues that this was the ensemble. To get the mental picture of the
of human history. Culture, engineering, art, catalyst for imagination. bicycle back, all the brain needs to do is
science, music, technology: these things are reactivate the same connections. There’s
only possible because we can make things Of course, other animals can communicate evidence that rats can do this to fill in the
and process visual information, but the way
that we do it is unique.

116 PSYCHOLOGY NOW

Culture, engineering,
art, science, music
and technology:
these things are

only possible because
we can make
things up

PSYCHOLOGY NOW 117

blanks when something’s happening outside THE POWER OF IMAGINATION
of their field of view; they use mental images
to deal with missing information. But we can Can animals imagine?
take it one step further.
Chimpanzees are our closest living relatives, but they don’t seem to
Rather than simply recalling patterns we have the same powers of imagination as we do
have already seen, we can use old
patterns to invent something completely Animals can make mental images of things they’ve seen before. They
new. To do this, we borrow skills from the seem to dream, with parts of their brains lighting up in the same
way we communicate. patterns that they did during the day. They might even be able to
conjure mental pictures of potential future events, enabling them
Other animals also have language, but to plan ahead. But the question is, can they do what we can do
none quite like our own. Across most of and mash different ideas together to invent something completely
the rest of the animal kingdom, language is unexpected? Perhaps not.
non-syntactic. This means that animals talk The search for animal imagination has led scientists to our closest
about whole situations all at once. A bit like
reactivating the whole mental image of the living relatives, chimpanzees, and, like human children, they do seem
bicycle. The thing we can do differently is capable of imaginary play. In a famous example, a chimpanzee
break situations down and talk about them
in parts, known as ‘syntactic language’. This named Viki pretended to pull a toy on a string, even seeming to stop
makes room for us to reassemble the parts to free it when it became stuck on an imaginary obstacle. Another
in a different order or take parts of different chimp, Kanzi, pretended to hide food in bushes and then pretended
ideas and combine them together. to eat it. He even shared his imaginary food with others and watched
to see whether they would eat it too. But in both cases, the chimps
It’s the combination of syntactic language
and mental images that make imagination were imagining behaviours that they had experienced before.
possible. Together they enable ‘mental The thing that animals don’t seem to be capable of, as far as we
synthesis’: the ability to break visual ideas know, is to imagine completely new things. This skill seems to be
apart and put them back together to conjure
up objects that have never existed. unique to our species.

To imagine a dragon riding a bicycle, we the signals from different parts of the brain
need to connect the mental ensembles have to arrive at the same time, and this takes
for the different concepts and activate some coordination.
them together. For this to work,
The connections responsible are neural
118 fibres that link the prefrontal cortex to the
occipital lobes. Different neural fibres have
different lengths, so for imagination to work,
the brain needs to change the speed at
which they pass their messages. This helps
to ensure that the messages arrive together.
The brain does this by wrapping the fibres
in varying thicknesses of myelin insulation:
the thicker the wrapping, the faster the
fibres transmit.

Changes to nerve fibre insulation happen
during childhood, when our brains are at
their most plastic. When we’re young, our
brains also prune and refine the connections
between different brain regions. This makes
childhood a critical time for developing the
skills of imagination, and it’s something we
practise a lot. While other young animals
might fight, climb and run to practise the
skills they need as adults, our species is the
only one that seems to engage in make-
believe. Imaginary friends are found nowhere
else in the animal kingdom; we seem to have
a unique gift for fiction.

PSYCHOLOGY NOW

THE POWER OF IMAGINATION

The power of our imagination extends attention network’ and the When our attention is
far beyond mental pictures of bicycle- ‘default network’. quiet and the brain enters a
riding dragons. Our brains contain ‘mirror rest state, the default network
circuits’ that activate not only when we do The executive attention network takes control. The wandering
or experience something but when we see sits between the outer parts of mind is able to create and change
someone else do or experience the same the prefrontal cortex and the mental images, recall episodic
thing too. For example, when we watch parietal lobe. It taps into your memories and relive thoughts and
someone ride a bike, the centres in our short-term memory and is ideas, and by allowing many brain
brain that control movement light up. When especially active when areas to be active all at once, it
we see someone fall off their bike, the parts you’re focused on solving unleashes our unique human ability
of our brains involved in processing a problem. This part of to integrate information.
emotion switch on. These traces enable us to your imagination is laser-
picture an experience in our mind’s eye. focused, but its creative One human imagination is powerful, but
And, like mental images, we can break them powers have limits. it’s the combined imagination of the whole
down and recombine them to imagine of humanity that has made our species such
something new. A task as simple as a success. It enables us to cooperate with
rotating a shape in your other people on a scale much larger than any
When children reach the age of around mind’s eye involves at other organism on the planet, breaking down
four or five, they also develop a complex least 12 separate regions and recombining our shared experiences to
imagination skill called theory of mind. of the brain. Brain cells reinvent the world around us.
This is the ability to understand that mental communicate across these
states – like knowledge, desires and emotions different locations, creating Perhaps Albert Einstein put it best when
– can belong to us or belong to others. This what scientists call a he wrote: “Imagination is more important
lets us identify the goals of those around us, ‘mental workspace’. than knowledge. For knowledge is limited,
understand their beliefs and understand that But to create the focus whereas imagination embraces the entire
what people say and what they mean aren’t needed to solve difficult world, stimulating progress, giving birth
necessarily the same. problems like this, the to evolution.”
executive attention
The neuronal ensembles that we build network does its
have many complex and interlinking best to cut out
components. It’s the ability to take all this distractions from
stored information, break it into parts and put other areas. This
it back together that makes our imagination helps to get the
so powerful. job done, but
it doesn’t allow
By the time we reach adulthood, we have room for random
a sophisticated ability to plan ahead. We can thoughts, and it’s
run through potential scenarios in our minds randomness that
and attempt to solve problems before they makes imagination
arise. This lets us prepare in advance. We so powerful.
can compare more than one possible
outcome, prepare for both, or weigh up To access your full creative
which is more likely. We can imagine things capacity, you must relax into the
that have never existed and that will never default network, the part of the brain that
exist. And we can run simulations to find out lights up when your mind starts to wander.
what it feels like to experience things we’ve
never experienced before. The main areas involved in the default
network are the medial prefrontal cortex and
To access these superpowers of the posterior cingulate cortex. Together, they
imagination, we use two large networks of handle memory, decision-making, reward
brain cells known as the ‘executive and emotion.

We can imagine things © Getty Images
that have never existed and
that will never exist. And
we can run simulations to
find out what it feels like
to experience things we’ve
never experienced

PSYCHOLOGY NOW 119

IN TWO MINDS

IN

TWO

Are men from Mars and
women from Venus? No, it’s
much stranger than that…

WORDS EDOARDO ALBERT

T he first mark of how strange that male and female brains were, in all
the study of gender differences other respects, basically identical. However
in the brain has been is the since females, both human and animal, have
fact that, through most of the hormonal cycles that affect their fertility
20th century, neuroscientists and introduce complications into studies
worked on the assumption that there of brain chemistry, neuroscientists chose to
were essentially no differences between simplify their studies by concentrating on
male and female brains. While there was the male of the species. That way, they would
a difference in the areas of the brain that not have the complication of where in her
controlled sex hormones and sexual hormonal cycle the female subject of the
behaviour (primarily the hypothalamus), experiment was and, since male and female
the scientists working in this field thought brains were thought to be identical, all the

120 PSYCHOLOGY NOW

IN TWO MINDS

findings on these male brains could safely THE BRAIN
be extrapolated to female brains. (In animal
studies, single-sex experiments on male DIFFERENCE SCEPTICS
animals outnumber those on female animals
by a ratio of 5.5 to 1.) According to Larry Cahill, While the majority of neuroscientists accept the new findings that
professor of neurobiology at the University of there are average sex differences in the brain of humans and animals
California, this was because: “Neuroscientists
(both male AND female), like the rest of and that, in humans, these differences play out in combination with
medicine, have long held the very non-sexist a variety of familial, experiential and cultural factors, there is a small
view that, outside reproductive functions, group of dissident researchers who disagree, quite vociferously, with
there are no fundamental sex differences in
the body, including the brain. A liver is a liver, these findings. Not stopping short of accusing their opponents of
a lung a lung, a heart a heart, a brain a brain.  ‘neurosexism’, these researchers, including Dr Gina Rippon, Dr Daphna
There are non-fundamental, unnecessarily Joel and Dr Cordelia Fine, have attacked the findings of neurological
complicating aspects of the female (cycling difference on grounds of unconscious bias, statistical errors and over
hormones), but not fundamental differences application. They argue that the brains of men and women consist of
by this view. Thus ironically the best way to
understand the fundamental in the female is a mosaic of changing features that are very strongly influenced by
to study the male. This very old and deeply cultural and environmental factors, with biological sex being a very
ingrained medical/research view I believe minor factor, if a factor at all, in the differences between the sexes.
powerfully aligned with a ‘feminist’ narrative Gina Rippon and Simon Baron-Cohen debated the issue at the Royal
of the past 70 years or so that also insisted Academy in London; for those interested in the question the debate is
that there are no sex differences in the brain.”
on YouTube: Is the brain gendered?: the debate.
ignoring
differences population is the other pole of Darwinian
between male evolution: sexual selection. For while there
and female is a general struggle to survive, to find food
brains ignores and to avoid predators that plays out in
a key aspect of competition between species, there is also
the theory of competition within each species for potential
evolution mates. And, sometimes, these two struggles
come into competition with each other. A
The theory of evolution prime example is the magnificent tail of
In retrospect, this ignoring of any potential the peacock. In its native India, and now
differences between male and female brains wherever else it has been taken to ornament
is all the stranger given that it fundamentally gardens and the estates of stately homes, the
ignores a key aspect of the theory of peacock attracts a peahen by the display of
evolution, the guiding paradigm of biology. his tail feathers. As instruments of flight,
As is well known, Charles Darwin advanced these feathers are completely useless
a theory of the evolution of new species – indeed, worse than useless,
through natural selection, that is that the as an experienced leopard,
individuals of any different species, while one of the peacock’s main
similar, have random differences. We now predators in the wild, knows
know this to be due to either mutations to approach a displaying
in asexual reproduction or through the peacock from the rear,
inheritance of a different combination of when the peacock’s own
characteristics from the parents in sexual fanned-out tail will mask
reproduction – that when faced with the the leopard’s stealthy
rigours of trying to survive and reproduce in approach. But in order
a changing environment may act to increase, to convince a peahen to
or decrease, the ability of the individual to mate with it, a peacock
pass on his or her characteristics to the next needs to demonstrate
generation by having offspring. However, both the magnificence of
what is less well known among the general its tail and the ability to stay
alive long enough to actually
display it. From the point of

PSYCHOLOGY NOW 121

IN TWO MINDS

view of the peahen, it’s an excellent Sexual between female and male brains in animals.
tool for winnowing out unworthy selection is One of the first neuroscientists to look for
or unlucky males. But the effect can be a a major cause potential differences was Nirao Shah, who
runaway development of the trait desired of sexual with his team identified specific genes that
worthy by the female until finally checked by dimorphism exhibited clearly different levels of activity
further development of the feature rendering in species between males and females in specific areas
the male unlikely to survive. There are some of mouse brains. Having identified these
cases where biologists speculate that the differences between the male and female genes, they were then able to switch off a
demands of sexual selection might have of a species other than their sexual organs. gene that was more active in female mice.
driven the species towards extinction. One Examples of extreme sexual dimorphism The result was that the female mouse ceased
such possibility is the Irish elk (Megaloceros), in nature abound, from the bulk of the defending her nest from intruders as well as
the largest deer species ever, in which the male elephant seal when compared to no longer going after and bringing back to the
antlers grew to a quite ridiculous spread: his relatively petite mate, to the sexual nest any of her babies that had wandered off,
standing 2.1 metres high at the shoulder, cannibalism exhibited by many species of although in all other respects she retained
males had antlers spreading 3.6 metres. female spiders, who are much larger than normal sexual behaviour.
Sexual selection is a major cause of sexual their nervously approaching potential
dimorphism within species, that is, those mates and who exhibit their disdain for an But it’s not only genes that control different
unworthy suitor by eating him. They often aspects of behaviour in female and male
eat the successful suitor too, although in that mice: the sex hormones oestrogen and
case only after she’s had his way with him. testosterone are vital too. A study by Melody
Wu and Nirao Shah on genetically modified
Sex differences in animals mice found that “oestrogen sets up the
So if sexual selection can cause such masculine repertoire of sexual and territorial
marked variations in animal morphology, behaviors and testosterone controls the
it would seem obvious to investigate if extent of these male displays.”
these differences are also apparent in their
brains. There had been a few studies before Since those first experiments, there have
the 1990s that looked at sex differences in been many more studies that have found
animals of which the most important was by differences in the brain structure between
CH Phoenix in 1959, where he demonstrated the sexes in animal species, from the sexually
that giving pregnant guinea pigs male dimorphic nucleus in the hypothalamus,
hormones produced female offspring that which is much larger in male mammals,
behaved like males. Phoenix concluded through to the larger brain size of female
that “testosterone or some metabolite acts carnivores that raise their offspring alone.
on those central nervous tissues in which But while we now know that animal, and in
patterns of sexual behavior are organized”. particular mammalian brains, have many
Further work has proved that it is the examples of differences between the sexes
that obviously cannot be explained as a
secretion of male sex hormones by the result of gender stereotyping in the animal
developing male in utero that acts to world, this does not necessarily mean that
masculinise the foetus – the default the same will be true in human beings.
sex is female, and males will only be Although it would be strange, and requiring
produced if the foetus is exposed to an explanation in its own right, if humans
high levels of male sex hormones. should be shown to be unique in this respect.
Further evidence of the difference
in animal brains, in songbirds this
time, was provided in 1976 when
Nottebohm and Arnold found that
three areas in the brain controlling
song in canaries and zebra finches
were much larger in males than
females – so much so that the
difference was obvious to the
naked eye.
Despite these findings, the default
view remained that, outside areas
specifically to do with reproduction,
there was no practical difference

122 PSYCHOLOGY NOW

IN TWO MINDS

MIND THE
TESTOSTERONE

© Simon Baron-Cohen Testosterone levels appear to play a key role in the
different development of male and female brains. Boy

babies secrete higher levels of testosterone, from
their testes, than do girls, with particular surges in
production prenatally, between eight and 24 weeks,
then at five months and again at puberty. Simon
Baron-Cohen tested for levels of foetal testosterone by
analysing the amniotic fluid preserved at Addenbrooke’s Hospital from
women who had had an amniocentesis during pregnancy. Checking
the levels of pre-natal testosterone against tests for eye contact and
vocabulary from the babies born to these women, he found that at
12 and 24 months, the levels of pre-natal testosterone were inversely
related to eye contact and size of vocabulary. In other words, children
with higher levels of pre-natal testosterone had smaller vocabularies and
made less eye contact than those with lower levels of the hormone in the
womb (note that girls are also exposed to testosterone, although they do
not have testes, as the hormone is also produced by the adrenal gland).

Studying humans in the volume of particular brain areas, with The best known result of this lateralisation
The only way to know for sure was to look. women having larger brain volumes in some is handedness, with Broca’s and Wernicke’s
At the start this was difficult – scientists can’t regions than men. It’s important to note here areas in the brain corresponding to which
simply look at human brains in the same that these findings in no way imply that men hand and foot a person favours: if the two
way they can look at animal brains for the are more intelligent than women on average. areas are found in the left hemisphere then
obvious reason that people object to having Brain volume is very poorly correlated with the person will most likely be right-handed.
their heads opened up by a curious scientist. intelligence – it’s not what you’ve got, it’s what
As a result, the first studies were rather crude you do with it that counts. In right-handers, language functions are
comparisons of the volume of different brain concentrated in the left hemisphere for 90%
areas from post-mortems. The problem with More specifically, these studies, and more of people, but for left-handers, the split is
this, of course, was that the subjects, being a sophisticated studies using brain imaging, more even, with language production being
random selection of dead people, were not did indicate that there were differences in bi-lateral or even in the right hemisphere for
properly matched, a problem exacerbated the amount of grey matter between women 50% of left-handers.
with the younger subjects who, almost and men. Grey matter, as differentiated from
invariably, had not died from natural causes. white matter, contains the cell bodies of In more recent times, sophisticated
However, while not very subtle, these studies neurones, synapses and capillaries, while research using diffusion tensor imaging, a
did allow for the most basic of comparisons: white matter is chiefly the axon tracts form of magnetic resonance imaging (MRI),
the size of male and female brains. It turns that connect neurones. Men, on average, enables scientists to measure white matter
out that male brains are, on average, heavier have greater volumes of grey matter in the and compare its location across males
and larger than female brains. This remains amygdala, the hippocampus and the anterior and females. The work found significant
true even when the results are corrected for parahippocampal gyri, among others. differences in the way female and male
men being overall larger and heavier than Women, on average, have more grey matter brains were wired (white matter being in
women. On average, men have four billion in the lateral occipital cortex, the right frontal large part the long axons that connect the
more neurones than women. More recently, pole, the inferior and middle frontal gyrus neurones). It turns out that women’s brains
a 2018 study by the UK Biobank looked and the anterior cingulate gyrus, again among
at the data from 5,216 adults who had had others. These differences in the volume
MRI scans. The study found that, even after of grey matter appear to be a function of
controlling for brain volume and overall size, differences in lateralisation between female
men’s brains had, on average a greater overall and male brains. As is well known, the human
volume as well as greater volumes of white brain is split into two cerebral hemispheres,
and grey matter. There were also differences the left and right, with the hemispheres
controlling the opposite side of the body.

PSYCHOLOGY NOW 123

IN TWO MINDS

were significantly better connected shared between the sexes. It’s worth stating
across the different brain regions as this clearly before we go on to consider
well as between the two cerebral what, if any, the implications are of these
hemispheres, whereas the brains findings. An obvious comparison is height.
of men were better connected Men are, on average, taller than women, but
within brain regions. These the distribution is one of two overlapping
findings confirm a general theme bell curves, with most men and women lying
of research on sex differences in within a common band. The same is true of
the brain: on average, men’s brains are differences in the brain: these are average
organised more asymmetrically than differences and they tell us nothing about
a specific individual. It is quite possible that
women’s brains, while women have the woman you are talking to might have a
greater connectivity between the brain that is, structurally, more ‘masculine’
two hemispheres. Reviewing the than average and vice versa, a particular
experimental findings, Gaolang man might have a ‘feminine’ brain. These are
Gong stated that it is necessary statistical differences, sometimes quite small
“to take gender into account statistical differences and, as such, subject to
when designing experiments some controversy.
or interpreting results of brain
connectivity/network.” While there has been a lot of recent work to
identify and study different brain structures
Physiology and behaviour in male and female brains, it has proved very
But while it is now well difficult to demonstrate that differences in
established that there are structures cause different behaviours. Indeed,
differences in structure quite the opposite, for here we hit, full square,
between male and female the nature versus nurture conundrum.
brains, these differences What has become abundantly clear is that
are small, with most features any attempt to reduce human behaviour

WOMEN MATTER IN
RESEARCH TOO

In 2009, the United States Food and Drug Administration did
something unusual. It reduced the recommended dosage of Ambien,
the most popular sleeping drug in America, by half. But it only did
this for women. Ambien had been on the market for 20 years before
this. We now know that men and women metabolise Ambien differently,
which means that more of it is left in the system of women in the morning,
leading to a greater risk of dangerous drowsiness the next morning when
driving to work. Other drugs are also metabolised differently – even

something as commonplace as aspirin. Low doses of aspirin help
prevent heart attacks in men, but not in women, although aspirin

does protect against strokes in women. This, potentially fatal,
overdosing of Ambien in women was a result of the safety testing
on the drug having been conducted on male animals. In response

to the discovery that women and men respond to some drugs
differently, the National Institute of Health issued new guidelines
to everyone applying for research grants. Henceforth, to qualify

for a grant, researchers would have to demonstrate that they
are including sex as a biological variable in their research. No
more just doing tests on male animals because they’re easier

and don’t require the scientists to control for the female
hormone cycle.

124 PSYCHOLOGY NOW

IN TWO MINDS

to a function of either nature – that is, our treatment at some point in life compared completely non-verbal cases of autism, where
inherited disposition as a result of our genetic to one in ten men. They are also more diagnosis is really not that difficult, boys are
inheritance played out in different bodily likely to suffer from an anxiety disorder, hugely over-represented.
and neurological structures – or nurture and are hugely more vulnerable to eating
(the complex interplay between upbringing, disorders than men. Women are also more Neuroscientists are only just beginning to
experience and the wider culture) is prone to dementia than men, with 65% of work on the implications of these findings.
hopelessly simple minded. Every individual UK sufferers being women. As the single According to Professor Cahill, “there are
is the result of a singular dance between their greatest risk factor in dementia is age, and biologically based sex influences of all
unique genetic inheritance and their equally women live longer, on average, than men, sizes on brain function all over the place,
unique experience of the world as mediated it would be expected that more women seemingly everywhere we look now that
through a particular time, place and culture. develop the disease than men. However, the we are finally looking. These ubiquitous
While researchers have cautiously suggested numbers indicate that other factors, beyond sex influences must have all manner of
a correlation between particular brain areas women simply living longer and thus being implications for understanding brain function
and particular behaviours, nothing further more prone to the disease, are necessary and dysfunction (it is impossible that they
can be claimed at this stage of our knowledge. to explain the discrepancy. Since women don’t). This is the reality that neuroscience is
are also at greater risk of depression, and now finally grappling with.”
All nature depression is itself a risk factor in dementia,
However, if we cannot say with certainty that this may be part of the reason for women’s Language and spatial skills
such and such a feature of gender-specific greater vulnerability to the disease. On the Differences in language and spatial abilities
behaviour is caused by differences in the other hand, men are much more likely to be are also apparent from an early age. Girls
brains of men and women, can we look at diagnosed as autistic, to become addicted begin to speak a month before boys on
the question from the other side? Can we to drugs or alcohol, and to commit suicide. average and their vocabulary is larger. Their
demonstrate that there are differences in In Britain, 80% of people dependent on language superiority is not just restricted
behaviour between men and women that are alcohol are male, as well as 69% of those to speaking; they are better at reading and
independent of culture and upbringing and dependent on drugs. In Britain, suicide is spelling too, as well as verbal memory.
are, therefore, innate? Let us take a closer look the largest cause of death for men under 45, These differences are robustly cross cultural:
at the evidence. and worldwide, the suicide rate for men is women in America, Japan and South Africa
much higher than that for women. Men also were better at remembering the meaning
The first step is to compare women die by violence from other men much more of something they had read than men.
and men over different areas of mental often than women. Daly and Wilson analysed On the other hand, men on average are
functioning and behaviour, with a preference homicides through societies across the last better at spatial skills, in particular those
given to studies on younger children who 700 years and found that the rates of male- that require rotating an object through
have had less time to be exposed to familial on-male murder were vastly higher than three dimensions in the mind, with these
and societal influences. In a study that will either men killing women or women killing differences also going back to early in life. A
come as no surprise to parents, Professor each other. And while it is likely that women study by psychologists Scott Johnson and
Melissa Hines of Cambridge University has and girls with autism are underdiagnosed, David Moore found a significant difference in
shown that there are significant differences what is clear is that, in the most extreme, this ability between male and female babies
in the toys that girls and boys prefer to play at only five months. Given that the children
with. Anecdotal evidence from many a
parent of boys, finding their son transforming
the most unlikely of objects into guns, swords
and other lethal weapons bears this out. But
Professor Hines went further, demonstrating
that girls who had been exposed in utero
to higher than normal levels of male sex
hormones through a condition known as
congenital adrenal hyperplasia also preferred
typical boys’ toys.

Among adults, there are robust cross-
cultural differences in behaviour and
interests between men and women. A
particularly large study, involving half a
million people, found that, on average, men
have a greater interest in systems and women
are more empathic. There are, of course,
wide bands of overlap, but 40% of women as
compared to 23.9% of men scored higher on
empathising when compared to systemising,
and 40.2% of men contrasted to 25.6% of
women scored higher on systemising.

Perhaps the most striking gender
differences are to be found in the varying
vulnerabilities of men and women to mental
health problems. Across cultures, women
are more likely to suffer from depression
than men, with one in four women needing

PSYCHOLOGY NOW 125

IN TWO MINDS

were only five months old, the question old, then we would be safe in concluding that
arises as to how they could test this. The these differences are, on average, hardwired
researchers showed the babies pictures of a into male and female brains.
multi-coloured 3D ‘L’ shape, measured how
long they looked at the picture before looking So that is what two scientists did. Jennifer
away, bored, then showed them the same Connellan and Anna Ba’tki enlisted over 100
shape again, but rotated, and then the mirror mothers and their new-born babies to take
image of the shape. The baby boys looked part in the study. The researchers wanted
significantly longer at the mirror image than to see if there was a significant difference in
the rotated same shape than the girls, which the length of time these newborns looked
the researchers conclude was because they at a face when compared to an object. The
realised that the new shape was different face was that of Connellan. The object was a
from the previous two shapes they had seen, ball, the same size as Connellan’s face, with
meaning that they were able to rotate the her face printed on it but with the features
shapes in their mind. rearranged so completely that it no longer
looked like a face. However, by using a picture
These differences seem to be results of of Connellan’s face as the starting point for
slightly different orientations between girls the ball, the researchers were able to ensure
and boys: to whit, that girls are more people that the colour of both face and ball were the
centred and boys more focused on systems same, thus ensuring that any difference in
and objects. Of course, there are cultural response was not due to the babies having a
influences that will affect choice of interest. particular interest in the colours presented to
However, it is interesting to note that in them. Finally, the mothers were asked not to
the Scandinavian countries, where gender tell the researchers the sex of their baby until
equality is most strongly entrenched in law after the baby was filmed to see how long it
and culture, there has been no corresponding looked at face or ball. The results were then
change in careers and interests. Indeed, quite carefully analysed and, yes, the newborn
the opposite. Even in Sweden, Norway and boys, on average, looked longer at the ball and
Denmark, men still dominate in traditionally the newborn girls, on average, looked longer
masculine occupations, while women, at the face.
with every opportunity to follow careers
in construction and the military, choose Differences in the brain
overwhelmingly not to do so. Is this the result This is not the only difference at birth that
of pernicious sexual stereotyping persisting has been demonstrated. A 2018 study found
even in the face of Nordic governmental that, at birth, the intracranial volume of boys
disapproval, or does it have a basis in what (the space in the skull) is, on average, 6%
we are as male and female? The only way to larger than in girls, and that they have more
check is to see if there are significant gender cortical neurones. There were also
differences between girls and boys before differences in brain areas at birth, with those
culture can start moulding them. The test on concerned with sensory processing
the five-month babies moves in that direction, being larger in boys while the area
but five months is still enough for a child to concerned with planning, self-control
be moulded by his or her environment. What and cognitive flexibility was larger in
about babies that are a day old? They are as newborn girls.
close to a tabula rasa as it is possible to get.
If it is possible to find significant differences Studies on children this
in interest between girls and boys at a day young, when combined with
the evidence for sexual
Girls begin differentiation in the brains
to speak of male and female animals,
a month provide ample grounds for
before boys supporting the idea, maintained
on average by most neuroscientists, that
and their the average differences in brain
vocabulary is structures and attitudes that they
larger find in men and women are a result
of the interplay of biology and
culture: not nature or nurture, but
both, acting together.

Eric Prager, editor of the Journal of
Neuroscience Research, sums up the
current state of knowledge thus: “Sex
matters not only at the macroscopic
level, where male and female brains
have been found to differ in size and
connectivity, but at the microscopic
level too.”

126 PSYCHOLOGY NOW

IN TWO MINDS

scientists
thought male
and female brains
were basically

identical

© Getty Images

PSYCHOLOGY NOW 127

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Psychology
Now
TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR MIND
FOR A HAPPIER, HEALTHIER LIFE

Human nature is a fascinating concept. From
the way we think to the way we behave, the
mind is a powerful yet delicate tool, and must
be nurtured in the same way we take care of
our bodies. Gaining a greater understanding
of human behaviour and mental processes
will ultimately lead to a better understanding
of ourselves. And once we realise why we
and others behave in certain ways – whether
alone or in group settings – it becomes much
easier to avoid stressful situations, reduce
anxiety, make better decisions, and live a
more fulfilled life.

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