TERMINATION
with a side of
KINDNESS
and
GRACE
A brief guide to firing a friend and
(hopefully) keeping a friendship
with a side of
KINDNESS a n d GRACE
Step
Making Preparations
with a side of
KINDNESS a n d GRACE
Schedule the meeting in a quiet, private
location where you will not be disturbed.
Take time to really think about what
you want to say and how you want to
say it, then practice the conversation out
loud several times.
with a side of
KINDNESS a n d GRACE
Step
Creating the Message
Stress that the program is changing, and
therefore so are the expectations of the
position and skills needed for the job.
Acknowledge the importance of your
relationship, but stress that your decision is
not personal.
Thank her for everything she has done.
Use very clear, direct language to say she
is being terminated.
Talk about the areas she did well and
how that impacted the program.
Identify the areas where she has not met
expectations, or has struggled (tie these
to specific position description points if
possible.)
Offer to assist her in finding her next
endeavor.
Important Tip...
Mentally take a step
back. Imagine the worst
thing she could say to
you and prepare for it.
with a side of
KINDNESS a n d GRACE
Step
Set the Scene
Meet in a quiet, neutral, private, location.
If possible, arrive early.
Always have a 3rd person in the room to
hear the exchange.
Ensure the chairs are placed so that you
can easily make eye contact, but no one
feels physically trapped.
with a side of
StepKINDNESS a n d GRACE
The Meeting
Pull the Band-Aid off quickly. Experts say
that you should let the person know – in
very clear and concise language – that they
are being terminated within the first 30
seconds of the meeting.
Don’t be afraid of silence, it’s time for
people to internally understand and accept
the termination.
Reopen a constructive dialogue with
questions -- “Do you understand why I’m
saying this?” or “Do you have any
questions?” Questions may help kick-start
dialogue and open channels of
communication.
Allow time for responding or venting.
Offer to meet again after she’s had time to
think, to answer any questions she may
have.
Be firm in your decision. Don’t make
excuses for it, or get talked out of it.
Important Tip...
No matter what you
say or how you say it,
she might not hear a
word after “termination”
with a side of
StepKINDNESS a n d GRACE
Post Meeting
Don’t expect to hang out afterwards, she
may have a lot to process.
Let her know you will be available for
further conversation.
Let her come to you when she’s ready
Get a massage – your
body needs to release the
tension that has built up.