story

First Edition

AS
AU

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iii



Prologue

I never really knew what love was until your smile
showed me.
So now let me tell you what I think it is.

v

Contents

Contents vi

I The Past

Hello, Abigail.
Get out of my head, Abigail.
I love you, Abigail.

vi

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II The Present

That’s It.
Am I in your Head, Abigail?
I still love you, Abigail.

III The Future

The Derivative of Us

vii



Part I
TP



Chapter

Hello, Abigail.

I’d be lying if I said we had a fairy tale beginning.
Its hard to say theres romance in opening up a
phone app, staring mindlessly at a screen, and swip-
ing right on photos of random people who seem
interesting or cute in the hopes that they think
the same of you. When they happen to think the
same as you, I always assumed one of two things
happen:

. You chat about things like school and hob-
bies and what your major is, and eventu-
ally forget about each-other. Its nice to have
someone new to talk to.

. You chat about things like school and hob-
bies and what your major is, except this time,
just as you start to think this person is cool,
they blindside you with links to their private
cam-site.

When I rst started swiping, I never would have
guessed that a few matches later, I would be intro-
duced to the most incredible human being I could
ever meet.

*swipes right on extremely pretty girl with goofy
bio and goofy pics who seems both cultured and
well traveled...*

what followed next was (to me) the most amazing
quote of :

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"You’ve matched with Abigail!"
–My Phone

“Abigail.” I said quietly to myself. “Thats a pretty
name. And she lies about her height? Thats goofy.”
I thought, smiling. “...I like goofy.”

I was determined to get this seemingly-quirky
girl to talk to me. I set out to writing the most
thought out, most perfectly worded, guaranteed-
to-intrigue rst message to you. My future with
this girl, whatever it may lead too, depends solely
on these keystrokes. The timing has to be right; I
know there are other guys hitting up this gorgeous
girl; And I have to say something that will save me
from the bottom depths of her roster. No pressure.
You’ve got this:

I’m ’ ”
–My rst words to you.

“Perfect. Great job, dumb-dumb, thats really
gonna do it.” I thought doubtingly to myself, toss-
ing my phone aside. But about as soon as I accepted

my fate with that message, my phone screen lit up
with your name, and a reply.

Check that length.
–Your rst words to me.

“Woah... what just happened?” I thought smiling
to myself. In that simple correspondence alone, I
already knew me and you were o on the right
foot, and its safe to say that in the history of man
kind, no conversation had ever been started like
this. Within a few more messages, I knew this was
di erent. I knew this was real, and I was hoping
that maybe you were feeling the same way too.
Maybe you were smiling at your phone screen just
as much as I was.

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In no time, I had to meet this girl. This funny,
pretty girl with a smile unlike any I’ve ever seen
who was almost too good at making me happy with
nothing but her words.

With every moment that passed of not having
met you yet, I was scared you were starting to think
I wasn’t interested. I felt bad about those few times
I could have came over but didn’t, and it was made
worse by the fact that I knew just how alone you
were. In a new city, at a new school, with only a
couple of friends from what I knew. Enough was
enough. I was determined to hear your voice; to

nally be in the presence of your contagious smile,
and to nally be humored by this amazing girl in
person.

I should be leaving in a little bit!

Okay let me know when you’re close!

On da road!

Okey!



Chapter

Get out of my head,
Abigail.

Driving to your apartment was one of the most sur-
real moments I’d ever experienced. This night was
either going to be followed by seeing more of you,
or never seeing you again, and the thought of that
made me more nervous than anything else. I came
to the intersection of th and Wells, and thought
to myself: I could either keep going straight, give

up, and instantly get rid of this stress I’m feeling
in the hopes that you would give give me another
chance when I was feeling less anxious; Or turn
left, stare my anxiety right in the face, and nally
meet this amazing girl like I promised myself I
would.

As soon as I saw you come out into the hallway,
I knew I had made one of the best decisions I had
ever made in my life. Like an angel, you gracefully
made your way over to me. My eyes lit up, and
the way you waddled down the steps to open the
door was permanently imprinted into my brain.
This moment was the rst time my heart ever truly
skipped a beat, and in retrospect, the very last time
it beat without a purpose.

By the end of that rst night together, lled
with awkward silence, misplaced laughs, bad jokes,
good jokes, lies about IKEA, truths about our lives,
falling asleep, holding you, nishing an entire
show, watching the sunrise, staring into the most
beautiful eyes I had ever seen, playing with your
hair, being asked what I was thinking, and nally

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the most amazing kiss on the most amazing lips
of the most amazing girl I had ever met, my heart
(sore from the skipped beats) had quickly and con-

dently dedicated itself to you and your happiness
without me even realizing it.

As soon as I stepped outside of your apartment,
foolishly missing my chance to kiss you goodbye,
I was already looking forward to spending time
with you again.

And boy, did we spend time together. In fact,
we couldn’t even get each other out of eachother’s
heads. To say the least, we texted each other liter-
ally times in a span of days before we laid
eyes on eachother again. And texts later, I was
back at your apartment, watching spooky movies,
cuddling, and bonding over our love for pineapple
pizza.

This was the most amazing day I’ve ever had. I
could watch movies with her forever.

A few days later, we would go to the Indian
Summer festival for our rst “real” date, where I
loudly and proudly held your soft, perfect hand in
public for the rst time; spent an amazing night at
your apartment; and quickly left in the morning to
avoid your visiting mother.

Wait no, this was the most amazing time I’ve ever
had. Holding her hand felt a little too perfect.

Then came your birthday. I had thought about
getting you a gift, but the fact that we had only
been seeing each other for a little over a week made
me a little hesitant, and making you uncomfortable
was the last thing I wanted to do. Luckily though,
you had made plans with a friend, so that made me
a lot more comfortable knowing you wouldn’t be
alone on your birthday.

But about as quickly as I comfortably settled
down into my pajamas for the night, I had learned
that you would be spending the rest of your birth-
day not only alone, but hungry as well. I could

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not stand for this. Knowing you’d be hungry and
alone, and imagining the smile on your face when
I would show up at your door with food was all the
convincing it took for me. I got dressed. Got into
my car, picked up the sushi, delivered it to your
smiling face, kept you the company you deserved,
and fell asleep with you in my arms.

Okay, THIS was the most amazing time I’ve ever
had. Nothing could make me as happy as putting
a smile on her face.
She also likes sushi.

At this point, every moment I was with you was
nothing short of amazing, and every minute I was
with you, there was nowhere else I could wish to
be. Having you in my arms, Looking into your
eyes, making you smile, listening to your stories,
holding your hand; It was nothing short of perfect
to me, and I was slowly realizing to myself that no
human being could ever make me feel as happy as
you do.

Okay... LITERALLY EVERY MOMENT I SPEND
WITH THIS GIRL IS AMAZING AND I DONT
KNOW WHY OR WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
BECAUSE I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HER
OR THE WAY HER SMILE LIGHTS UP HER EYES
SO IF SOMEBODY COULD HELP ME GET HER
OUT OF MY HEAD THAT WOULD BE GREAT
BUT AT THE SAME TIME EXTREMELY HORRI-
BLE.

I would always catch myself smiling when there
was nothing to smile about; walking to class, think-
ing about you, counting down the hours to get
lunch or study at Collectivo or feed you and crash
at your place, falling asleep to your favorite TV
shows. It was all a new drug to me, and deep down
I think my heart knew why I was so addicted. Deep
down I knew why I couldn’t get you out of my
head.

Chapter

I love you, Abigail.

But you beat me too it. I swear I was just about
to say it before you did. Seriously. I was a little
disappointed that you were the rst one to say it,
after that whole “I’ll tell you later.” embarrassment.
I still remember saying “I was gonna say it rst!”
with a big, semi-disappointed smile on my face.

I was the furthest thing from disappointed,
though. Laying on your couch, holding you, look-
ing into the re glowing in your eyes, and nally
saying those words was the happiest moment in

my life, and I still remember the bright glow in my
peripherals and my heart beating out of my chest
as I said it back to you.

“I love you, Abigail.”
It was a like a weight was lifted o of me. All
that imagining I did of me and you and our future
together was nally turning into a beautiful reality.

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But how did I know I loved you?



Part II
TP



Chapter

That’s It.



Chapter

Am I in your Head,
Abigail?



Chapter

I still love you,
Abigail.



Part III
TF



Chapter

The Derivative of Us

I don’t know where we’re going.