Caricature Issue 2022

RHSbears.com Roosevelt High School

@WyNews Caricature Wyandotte,MI
A publication of The Wy-News April 2022
Inside this Issue

Photo Illustration: Wy-News Staff

Roosevelt Houses Olympic
Dreams
Story on Pg 11

Photo Illustration: Wy-News Staff Dress code a thing of past at RHS
Angel Gibson, Reporter
tSreaninioinr grerveecaelisvesdpesciniacle Photo Illustration: Wy-News Staff The dress code at RHS has been lift- the student body felt about the dress toed/backless shoes, and it doesn’t
middle school code. Principal Benjamin Reynolds matter how long your shorts are.
ed after the students came together was on edge about the situation. These are the biggest rules that the
Story on Pg 10 and fought hard to make it almost Reynolds did not want to lift the students fought to get rid of.
ihEnnagltlrasenpderrnesutearusraabtooSuutrnosdrry-oafoamnrmPo-ugr3 non-existent. dress code.
“The students came to me and I felt The administration has now re-
The biggest issue students have had the need to bring it up to my col- alized that the students aren’t just
with the dress code is how it’s direct- leagues,” Hickey said. “They were on going to wear anything, but that
ed mostly towards female students, edge about it but so was I.” now they feel they have the freedom
even though there are things in the to wear whatever is in their closet
dress code that the male students Reynolds was worried about how rather than having to purchase new
don’t follow; they still don’t get the students could go overboard and “school appropriate” clothes.
“dress coded”. they would have to put the dress “The student’s have surprised us,”
code right back in place, but after Reynolds said. “We were worried in
The administrators have slowly he had a meeting with the female the beginning but now seeing how
been getting more and more lenient students Hickey had talked to, he felt mature they are taking this we have
on what the students have been that he had to at least consider it. no worries this wouldn’t work.”
wearing. This started with students
going to assistant principal Patrick The male population at the school The male students found a way that
Hickey and telling him how the ma- had stayed quiet about the situation this dress code lift affects them; they
jority of the female students feel. because they don’t understand how can now wear their hats that they al-
the females feel, and they don’t ever ways get told they cannot wear, this
The students told him that the get “dress coded”, even when they made many male students under-
females feel that how they dress break the dress code. stand the fight that the females had
should not be a distraction to learn- put on about no dress code.
ing, rather than the distraction is After a hard and long fight between
getting pulled out of class because many of the students, parents, and “We get to wear our hats now,”
of the way they are dressed. The real faculty members they came to a con- senior Weston Bridges said. “I wear
distraction is pulling a female out of clusion that starting April 1, the dress them outside of school and I just
class, or stopping her in the hallway code would be lifted and there will don’t feel like myself without one,
because of what she is wearing. no longer be discrimination on what this is great news to me and many of
students can and can’t wear. my friends.”
“I just don’t believe that the way
we dress is a distraction,” senior Since the dress code has been lifted Reynolds and Hickey now believe
Kailyn Franz said. “It’s way more of a the students haven’t had any prob- this is a good thing for the times
distraction when the teachers make lems with “showing too much skin” we are living in today. Also they are
a scene because of how someone is or, “going overboard”. starting to understand the discrim-
dressed.” ination that the students had felt
So this lift of the dress code means while we still had the dress code in
Hickey then had a meeting with the that anyone can wear tank tops, crop place.
administration and told them how tops, over-the-shoulder tops, open-

Caricature Wy-News April 2022
Pg 2
Table of Contents
WNohteaftromis tCheaSrtiacfaf.t.. ure
Pg. 1 - Dress Code
Cancelled A caricature, by definition is “a picture, description, or imitation of a person in
Pg. 2 - Table of which certain striking characteristics are exaggerated in order to create a comic
Contents or grotesque effect.” (dictionary.com)
Pg. 3 - The farmer We hope you enjoy our caricature issue. This is a SPOOF isue fo the newspaper.
in the Dotte ; Everything you read inside is FICTION! Our staff made it all up and had a blast
Roosevelt doing it. We hope you enjoy!
Restuarantour
Pg. 4 - Millionare The Wy-News 2021-2022 Staff
artist; Boy band Reporters:
beginner Advisor: Janet Haddad All signed letters to the staff are welcome.
Pg. 5 - Student Jake Conz, 2022 The Wy-News reserves the right to edit
aides global Editor-in-Chief: Angel Gibson, 2022 letters printed for publications. Submit
warming fight Emily Miklaski, 2022 Brooklyn Luscomb, 2022 letters to:
Pg. 6 - MMA and Kamerin Maddix, 2022
WWE fighters Copy Editor: Dezerey Meyers, 2022 Mrs. Haddad, Room C-119
among us Emily MacIntyre, 2022 Aubrey Migoski, 2022
Pg 7 - Giammalva Parker Moser, 2022 Roosevelt High School
cracks the case Design Editor:
Pg. 8 - Cost to play Grace Zalewski, 2022 Ali Norris, 2022 540 Eureka
football; Joe Valentine, 2022
cheerleader stuck The Wy-News is Roosevelt High Lillian Zieger, 2023 Wyandotte, Michigan 48192
in backbend School’s student-produced newspa- Zach Allman, 2024 It is policy of the Wyandotte Board of
Pg. 9 - Durant to per, editorials and bylined columns Nilah Haugabook, 2024 Education that no person shall, on the ba-
join ballet sis of race, color, religion, national origin,
Pg. 10 - A spy reflect the opinions of individual or ancestry, sex, age, disability, height,
within columnists and not the Wy-News
Pg. 11 - Wyandotte staff, its advisor, the RHS faculty, weight, or moral status,
Olympians joining administration, or student body. be excluded from participation in, be
ranks denied the benefit of, or be subjected to
discrimination with respect to any educa-
tional program, activity, or employment.

Caricature Wy-News April 2022
Pg 3

Wymore pursues his lifelong dream of owning dairy farm
Joe Valentine, Reporter large overhead to having a large amount of cows,”
Last week, social studies teacher Marshall Wy- Wymore said. “And I want to start out small, so if I
fail it won’t be a huge loss.”
more purchased 400 acres of farmland in Monroe,
Wisconsin to pursue his dream career of owning a Wymore went on the record saying that the hard-
dairy farm where he plans to mostly focus on mak- est part of this will be finding 500 names for the
ing cheese. cows. Even though he doesn’t have names for the
cows, he already has favorites.
“My passion for dairy farming came from watch- “ My top favorite cows are for sure my girls Cheddar
ing my grandfather, who was also a dairy farmer. Barbera and Mozzarella Molly, and I can’t forget
We’d milk the cows and do other stuff around the about Gouda Gabe.” Wymore said.
dairy farm when I would go to stay with him; that is Wymore’s students don’t seem surprised
when I became a curd nerd,” Wymore said. that he is chasing this dream.

Because being able to manage your cows is the “I’m not surprised,” senior Collin Hale said. “I
main factor in being able to make money, Wymore knew that was his lifelong dream; he’s the cheese
plans to purchase 500 cows on his farm just to start man.”
out. His love of cheese even spills into his curriculum.

“I’m pretty new to this industry and there is a “Every example he uses involves cheese, it seems
like it is always on his mind you know,” junior
Maci Krajewski said.

Although Wymore’s students will miss him,
they all wish him well on his cheesy venture.

His farm will be named the “Wymore family
cheese farm”.

“The name needs work,'' Wymore said. ''But I
really want the name to scream - I make really
good cheese.”

One of Wymore’s students says that they plan
to work on his farm as a farmhand so he can
focus on the cheese.

“I’ll probably work on his cheese farm and milk
the cows or something; whatever he needs,”
Hale said.

Maybe one day you can see Wymore’s cheese
in the grocery store and know that it doesn’t get
any “cheddar” than that.
Photo Illustrations: Joe Valentine
Wymore shouts orders as he milks a cow. He plans to open his Photo Illustration: Nilah Haugabook
own dairy farm where he will specialize in making cheese.

Sophomore student opens franchise restaurant at age 15
Nilah Haugabook, Overthinker
Currently working at Culvers restaurant, sopho- trying to make my own,” Williams said. “It’s been “I'm very proud of Willaims for putting her mind
a nice distraction from all the stress I have been to something but I don’t think she knows what
more Janiyah Williams got the inspiration to open feeling.” she is getting into,” rowing coach Nora Fillie said.
up her own restaurant at just 15 years old, inspiring “Opening up a business is a lot of work and with
her independence and allowing people to taste her Being in school and trying to open up such a her being so young it can go bad in the blink of an
creativity. small business restaurant has been hard for her to eye.”
truly give all of her attention towards the restau- Opening her own restaurant has been a dream for Jani-
“I only work at Culvers so I can get a feel of the rant. yah Williams that she is making a reality.
restaurant business,” Williams said. “My whole
life I always wanted to be independent and make “It’s really hard to focus on opening a business
people smile with food.” because I feel like school is stopping me from
giving the restaurant my full attention,” Williams
It’s been a rough process for Willams since she said.
is so young and is still in high school, but she has
found support to help her through these challeng- Since Willams works in the food industry she has
ing times. been able to realize what’s good for her to put in
her restaurant and what she does not have to put
“I really hope she [Williams] succeeds,” history in.
teacher Scott Ballelli said. “I know she’s gonna do
awesome and I hope many good things happen to “I really love sandwiches, and finger foods like
her. that but I want to have a different variety of food,”
Williams said.
Williams has had people doubt her, and tell her
what she can’t do and won’t be successful, but her Williams hopes to drop out of high school and
goal is to prove them wrong. be a full-time business owner, because who needs
school when you have access to food.
“I’m going to succeed no matter what people
say,” Williams said. “Their words don’t stop me, “I don't agree with the dropping out of school,”
I'm going to put my best foot forward.” history teacher Patrick Haley said. “But if Janiyah
gives me free food, I may second guess my opin-
The process of opening a business is hard but ion.”
Willams has found ways to distract herself from its
overwhelming nature. Many people don't think that Willaims is cut out
for the business owner thing, some people say it
“I have been looking at new recipes to cook and will just be a waste of time.

Caricature Wy-News April 2022
Pg 4

Hymer becomes new member of favorite boy band
Dezeray Meyers, Reporter Hymer said. “I remember watching shows and listening complete diva and I have a great bass voice so I thought
Roosevelt vocal music director, Gerald Hymer was to the Backstreet Boys every day after school.” I had it in the bag.”

called in to temporarily replace an ill band member Hymer mentioned that he used to manifest becoming Student Haley Christian stated that after Hymer was
from the band, Divalicious over spring break. a member of a boy band nightly by singing to his One rejected, the classroom became dark and boring. Hymer
Direction and Big Time Rush posters. spent days crying in his office and barely participating.
“It has always been my dream to be in a boy band,” He went on a rant for three hours straight complaining
Hymer is now a member of the boy band Divalicious. “I was already in ROVASI in high school so watching about why he should have got the part. Every time the
them perform was a true inspiration, and I had experi- students would try to cheer him up, he would just wail
ence with dancing,” Hymer said. on the floor and throw a tantrum.

According to Hymer, on April 8, 2022, he was called “We started to sing sad songs and ended up doing a
to replace a member of the boy band called, Divali- lot of theory work,” Christian said. “He even stopped
cious. Apparently, Hymer’s goal was to be a part of Di- coming to ROVASI rehearsals.”
valicious from a young age. The band has been around
for 15 years on and off, though the members have In the middle of spring break, Divalious posted on Ins-
changed over time. Hymer mentioned that Divalious tagram that they are in need of a temporary member.
was his favorite due to their energy in their dancing
and beautiful lyrics. “I was doing my daily stalking on their Instagram page
and saw that poster,” Hymer said.
“I knew from a young age that Gerald dreamt of be- Christian said that Hymer now comes to school with
ing in a boy band,” former instructor of Hymer, Kathy more energy, but she fears that this new job will take
Kane said. “I am actually impressed that he somehow over his life.
pulled it off. I never doubted him for a second.”
“Luckily, after being added, the band and I decided
According to Kane, Hymer would ask to do boy band that most of our tours will be during the summer and
moves in ROVASI when he was younger. This was practices would be held during weekends so I can still
about the same time when Hymer realized that he be involved in my students’ life,” Hymer said.
may have a chance of becoming a boy band member.
Hymer is now living the best of both worlds as a full
“I used to do research every day after school to look time music instructor and a new member of Divalicious.
for auditions or any concerts nearby where I could He continues to teach his students all about the world
meet the bands,” Hymer said. of boy bands and practices with his band every weekend
from 9:30 am to midnight. He plans to tour all summer
Ever since Hymer graduated from high school, he and become a permanent member of the band. He has
has done approximately 5,217 auditions for various hopes that he would be able to start a class solely on
boy bands around the world. In September 2019, he boy bands, but that is still in the works.
auditioned for Divalicious and got a callback, but did
not make the overall cut. “I am so proud of where my musical journey has taken
me. I have high hopes for the future and a permanent
“When I heard the news, I cried for weeks. Noth- spot in this band,” Hymer said.
ing could have ruined my year faster than hearing I
didn’t get the part,” Hymer said. “We all know I am a
Photo Illustration: Dezeray Meyers
Photo Illustration: Joe Valentine
Senior Keenan Johnson Sells Self Portrait for $15 million
Joe Valentine, Reporter
On April 1, at Sotheby’s auction house in London, England,
senior Keenan Johnson sold a watercolor self portrait he made
in art class for 15 million dollars to an anonymous art collector.
“Honestly, he is one of my worst students,” art teacher Susi
Stiles said. “I would actually pay money to not see that paint-
ing.”
The origin of this masterpiece is a watercolor assignment in
art class when Stiles was out of class.
“I had a vision of excellence, '' Johnson said. “I really wanted
to capture the essence of Keenan Johnson in the medium of
watercolor paint and printer paper.”
Students that witnessed the creation of the masterpiece were
just as surprised as Stiles upon learning of the highest bid on
the portrait.
“It wasn’t even supposed to be a self portrait, the subject was
someone you admire the most,” senior Laticia Martinez said.
Johnson said he knew the assignment and that was what he
created.
“I’m who I admire the most, Johnson said. “I’m so awesome.”
The painting first gained notoriety in the art world when
Johnson posted his masterpiece online. From there, it was no-
ticed by rich people and art museums alike. After that,he flew
over to England to sell his magnus opal of a water color.
“I cried when I first saw this painting knowing I will never
amount to anything as beautiful as this watercolor,” an anony-
mous bidder said.
Johnson said he plans to purchase a lifetime supply of Mexi-
can pizzas from Taco Bell with the money.
“The only thing that is as beautiful as me is the combination
of warm crispy tortilla, ground beef, creamy cheese blend, and
fresh salsa,” Johnson said.
Many have said that Johnson should give the money from his
painting to a charity, but Johnson has dismissed these pleas.
”That’s lame,” Johnson said. “I could use that money to
buy so many cool things.” Keenan Johnson’s artwork created in class sells at Auction for millions.

Caricature Wy-News April 2022
Pg 5

Photo Illustration: Parker Moser

Climate change Skynet throws world into chaos
Parker Moser, Reporter branded on every robot. defending against the robots as the main the world’s lakes and oceans could be
On April 1, 2022, senior Evin Stamper “Profits and climate awareness have force is focused on China. Due to the the last strategic outpost for humanity
global scale of this threat, nations that and have begun constructing underwater
accidentally created a killer artificial been great since the launch of the new have previously been in conflict are now facilities for ocean colonization.
intelligence (AI) which he has decided to program and we are looking forward to cooperating for the first time in decades.
name Skynet. expanding the project’s reach around This unprecedented cooperation and “The biggest difficulty is cost and
the world,” Muskrat said shortly before push towards crypto currency is leading scale,” lead engineer John Smith said.
“I swear it was an accident. Like totally blasting off to Mars. some to believe the robot army was an “Most of the resources we need are being
unintentional,” Stamper said, surround- inside job and false flag by the world used for defense against the robots, so
ed by an army of robots. Although governments around the governments. there isn’t much left over for underwater
world have been thrown into a panic over construction.”
The AI began as a computer program the new artificial threat, there are many “This is clearly a ploy by the elites
tasked with saving the planet and groups that are supportive of Stamper’s to force us into a global order and one Following the launch of the Skynet
reversing climate change. However, due work claiming that the global response world government,” Info Battles host program and the calamity around the
to a critical oversight, it began targeting from world powers is unjustified. Alex Jonsey said. world, many have wondered why the
humans as the main cause of damage program hasn’t been halted. Stamper
to the planet and has begun attacking “This shows just how far corrupt Although the robots are targeting has declined to stop the program stating
civilians. governments will go to stop true climate people, they have also begun other a fear of wasting resources as the main
change activism,” activist Treta Ghon- operations as well. Following the initial reason.
“Basically I forgot to specify which vari- burg said. “This is the first time in history advancement on people, the robots set
ables it could target, including humans. I someone has made such great strides up sanctuaries near zoos and transported “Do you have any idea how long it
just thought it would be too obvious but towards stopping climate change and animals back to their natural habitats would take to program a new AI to not
apparently the AI thought otherwise,” the first thing the world does is try to causing many animal rights activist to attack people? I’d have to spend at least
Stamper said. stop it.” begin supporting Stamper. an hour and that’s just too much time
wasted to be worth the effort,” Stamper
According to the US Department Since the AI has begun its mission, “We honestly deserve it. As a species said. “The funds from spacecoin are nice
of Homeland Security and the United carbon emissions have dropped nearly we have treated the animals of this plan- but not enough to make me work that
Nations security council, this AI is now a 10 percent and are continuing to fall. et so poorly. Their lives matter too and hard quite yet. Maybe if more people
global threat. The robot army first targeted China and they deserve to have a planet free from invest I might consider it.”
India due to their high carbon output and human influence,” PETA founder Ingrid
“If left alone, all of humanity could go population density. Oldkirk said Although the future seems grim, all
extinct. This is truly the biggest threat we hope is not lost. Through the collective
have ever faced as a civilization,” head Following the robot invasion, the Chi- As part of the effort to save the planet, effort of humanity it is still possible to
of Homeland Security Alejandro Ayorkas nese Communist Party has declared war the AI has also started the worlds largest stop this threat. The collective effort is
said. against Stamper claiming that he has ocean cleanup. Since the beginning of gaining traction daily as the world pools
violated international law and has begun the operation, the robots have removed its resources in researching alternative
The program alone is mostly harmless, moving troops to his location. Shocking- seven percent of manmade ocean pol- means to fight back.
however after being given a body in the ly, the AI is defending Stamper from any lutants, however, the project is being
form of killer robots, the AI was given threats. slowed due to a lack of investment into “Progress is slow but it is being made.
the freedom to enact its mission. water proofing tech on the robots. When we work together there is nothing
“Of course I programmed it not to humanity can’t accomplish,” Ayorkas
“I didn’t expect it to target humans attack me, I’m not an amateur,” Stamper “Spacecoin profits weren’t quite said.
right at the start, that sort of stuff usual- said. enough to afford all we wanted to ac-
ly happens later on,” Stamper said. complish, but hopefully those upgrades Fortunately, Tesla, Space-Y, and Space-
Currently most of the fighting is occur- can be made with future investments,” coin are all gaining value since the be-
In order to fight climate change, a part- ring in the southeastern region of Asia Muskrat said. ginning of the project, so many experts
nership was formed between Telsa and and is at a standstill due to the durable expect an inside solution to be underway,
Space-Y CEO Elon Muskrat and Stamp- materials and high build quality of the Due to the stalemate between the ro- however no confirmations have been
er who thought it would be a unique robot army, however other nations have bots and the sea, many engineers believe made.
opportunity to not only clean the planet, seen conflict and are making progress
but also promote Muskrat’s new Cryp-
tocurrency SpaceCoin which has its logo

Caricature Wy-News April 2022
Pg 6

FIGHTING THEIR WAY

TO THE TOP

Haddad, Barrett preparing to put down books, jump in the ring

Kamerin Maddix, Professional of consistent MMA training can do Dom the devil watch him.
Procrastinator wonders to your fighting game and “I’m really excited for the free or at
Haddad plans to defy all the odds Growing up as a child, senior Dom-
Red Hot Haddad and jump right into it, training as inic Barrett always loved wrestling, least discounted tickets to the events
soon as she can. particularly WWE, and he decided so that's something I can thank Dom
There was a fight taking place in to pursue his dream on stage after for,” Andrew Barrett said.
the hall outside of the media teacher “Well, she is my partner in crime graduation.
Janet Haddad's room, one Tuesday and she is a strong woman. When Barrett has looked up to one partic-
morning, and just like any other she she puts her mind to something you “When I started watching WWE ular wrestler that goes by the name
went to break it up but she got an know it will get done,” Haddad’s best I instantly fell in love with it: the Paige. They are close friends, and
adrenaline rush like no other. friend Kelly Lomas said. people, the atmosphere, and the per- she has offered to help Dom with his
formances. I could really see myself training when the time comes.
“I have broken up many fights in Even though she is pretty late in doing it,” Barrett said.
my day between various people and I the game she wants to pursue some- “I could not be more excited to
do not know what it was about that thing new. She loves all of her classes He has interacted with the wres- train with my idol,” Barrett said. “I
one but it changed my perspective on and students, but she thinks it will be tlers on a personal level in person feel like walking could and just leav-
fighting and I thought I should give it a great opportunity. and over the social media platforms ing to go there right now.”
a try for myself,” Haddad said. and he has already grown a following
“When I played sports growing up within the community. Usually in the WWE there is a
MMA is a full-contact combat I was an aggressive player and picked theme a person has to the name and
sport based on striking, grappling fights a lot of the time and it did give “Dom has alway been a star in my a personality they create. Barrett
and ground fighting, incorporating me a rush but I never thought any- eyes and he definitely has that sassy plans to go for the more edgy but
techniques from various combat thing of it until now,” Haddad said. spark personality to make it in that also professional look, he says. He
sports from around the world. kind of industry,” Dominic’s mother wants to look “expensive” when peo-
She believes that she can take on Christina Barrett said. ple see him walk out on stage.
Haddad recently took a trip to Las some of the bigger names in the
Vegas, Nevada over spring break to game such as Amanda Nunes and He has attended many events with Barrett claimed to be a very dra-
the MMA headquarters to talk busi- potentially Cris Cyborg. WWE and they gave Barrett an offer matic person and with this industry
ness with representatives about her that he could not refuse - to move to that helps. The tricks on set are re-
new position she wants to take on. She claims that she will be making California and start training with the hearsed and not usually real or often
around $3,000 a fight or more and professionals. over dramatized.
“She didn’t really talk it over with she is going to get as many oppor-
us about what she decided to do,” tunities as she can no matter the “I knew I could make it in the game “I have seen many different moves
Haddad’s son CJ said. “I think it will opponent. with them. It was just a matter of and some are just so boring I want
be pretty cool to have a MMA fight- time, and I just had to push my name to bring a spark and awe when I step
er as a mom, but I hope she doesn’t “I do have some tricks up my a little more,” Barrett said. out I do not want to look average,”
embarrass me or our family.” sleeve. I have been in some fights in Barrett said.
my day, and I have grown a love for The Barrett family has been very
The art of MMA takes many pro- fighting. I can't wait to jump in and supportive of Dominic’s dream, and His peers think he will succeed tre-
fessional fighters decades to master dominate,” Haddad said. they plan to move with him during mendously in this industry and work
certain types. However, a few months the summer. They can not wait to his way to the top quickly.

PhotoIllustrations: Kamerin Maddix

Haddad has been preparing to join the MMA after being inspired when she broke up a After designing costumes, Barrett will now join the fighting for the WWE.
fight outside her classroom earlier this year.

Caricature WyP-Nge7ws April 2022

Cracking a Creepy Case
Senior Francesca
Giammalva solves
case using forensics
skills learned in class
Aubrey Migoski, Reporter crime. Quickly, she pulled out a suspect was. They have always talked dent and I am
Driving a black Nissan through the notepad and started to sketch the about how cool it would be if they so glad she came
woods at nine in the evening, senior details of the scene and take pictures could do such a thing on their own. to me for help,”
Francesca Giammalva, a forensics on her phone of things that could be “We worked all night solving con- MacGregor said. “She
student, spotted blinking bright brought up as evidence. text clues and doing research on the made the right decision to call Garcia
lights in the distance between the “Since the driver fled the scene, I clues we have,” MacGregor said. asking for advice.”
fog and the trees. wanted to take action myself and According to Giammalva, they This is the first ever case a downri-
“I was just taking a night drive lis- find out who the driver was,” Giam- tracked down the fingerprints which ver student has cracked. Giammal-
tening to my music and the blinking malva said. lead them to an “unexpected per- va was rewarded with a check of
lights caught my attention,” Giam- Giammalva hurried to take the son”. $30,000 and the right to talk about
malva said. fingerprints, sketches, and pictures to “I contacted the forensics experts her experience to schools all over
As Giammalva drove up to the site, the forensics lab at the high school. and they have checked our results,” Michigan.
she said she saw something very “I was surprised when a student MacGregor said. “The person is yet to “I feel very proud of this achieve-
disturbing and was horrified. She came to me with a real case on their be announced, but is in custody.” ment,” Giammalva said. “Taking
decided to call one of her forensic hands,” forensics teacher Kelly Mac- Giammalva solved her first crime the forensics class helped me grow
classmates because she did not know Gregor said. with the help of Garcia and MacGre- my logic about this stuff. I am now
if she should investigate it or not. The two agreed to solve the case gor in only a matter of two days. considering pursuing a forensics or
“I got a call from Francesca pretty together in order to find out who the “I know Giammalva is a smart stu- detective career.”
late on Saturday night,” junior Juan
Garcia said. “She told me she saw a
car with its hazards on and nobody
was in the car.”
According to Giammalva, she also
noticed that the right side of the
bumper was dented in. She saw tire
marks and followed them only to see
a dead body.
“I asked if she had any of the fine
powder leftover from class to test
the fingerprints,” Garcia said.
Giammalva checked her school bag
to see that she had leftover pow-
der from class. She began dusting,
using powder to pick up the oils of
the fingerprints on the door handle,
seatbelt, and steering wheel.
“After dusting, I grabbed tape
from my backpack and picked up the
powder with the fingerprints shown,”
Giammalva said. Photo Illustration: Aubrey Migoski
While picking up the fingerprints,
she allegedly saw a slipper laying
next to the gas pedal. She took that
item with her to have more tracking
clues.
“I know that my own fingerprints
can get places so I used a leather
glove I had in my car and was sure to
be extremely cautious,” Giammalva
said.
Garcia recommended that Giam-
malva should take pictures of the
Francesca Giammalva used the skills she learned in forensic science class to solve a case that no one else could, with MacGregor.

Wy-News
Pg 8

Junior Jane Valentine
suffers after cheering
tuck in a BandbenCaricature April 2022

S with back injury d

Aubrey Migoski, Reporter about her minor pain. I tried to come out of it, I just could not to live life in a backbend,” Valentine said.
The cheerleaders had hard practices the “She smiled through the pain as if move,” Valentine said. “The pain was “I have never seen or heard of anything
unimaginable, but I tried to keep calm in like this. The hardest part is sleeping in
week before their final competition, and her back was not hurting,” sophomore order for us to win the championship.” such an uncomfortable position, and
junior Jane Valentine suffered being stuck Summer Gregoria said. “The coach even having to deal with other students judg-
in a backbend. complimented how good she was doing.” Valentine ran off the mats as fast as she ing me.”
could in a backbend to avoid embarrass-
“We spent three hours going over the The following Saturday, January 22, the ment. The team kept their performance Valentine has made this occurrence
third round because our coach said every varsity cheerleading team had their final going. more natural in her daily life and even
time we mess up we have to restart from competition. Valentine’s back was still hired a rehabilitation specialist to help
the top,” Valentine said. bothering her but she was ready to per- “I noticed that she ran off in a back- her get through the day as normal as
form and her pain was not stopping her. bend and I was super worried about her possible. Her specialists follow her during
During that practice, Valentine said injury,” Kish said. the day making sure she is safe.
that she started to feel pain in her lower “I did not want to miss out on this big
back from doing the same bends, flips, final competition,” Valentine said. “I The Lady bears won the Division 1 invi- According to Valentine’s doctor, her
and jumps consistently with no break could not back out at the moment I have tational despite Valentine having to run lumbar vertebrae were bent in a way that
prior to having a back injury months be- worked so hard for.” out of the performance in a backbend. cannot come back naturally. She will
fore. She saw a chiropractor days before need surgery in order to straighten out,
and was told to take a full week resting The team hit every motion in the first The judges explained how amazed they which is scheduled to be on May 15, 2022.
recovery. and second round and started out the were that Valentine took the situation
third round strong. professionally and did not freak out. “My recovery after the surgery will be
“It was our 80th time going through difficult because I have to stay in the
round three and I overheard Jane talking According to Gregoria, the team was “It has been three months now and hospital for two weeks,” Valentine said.
about her back pain to the other girls,” doing very well and showing great facial she is still stuck in a backbend,” Gregoria “I am nervous about the recovery but I
senior Amanda Kish said. expressions throughout their routine. said. “I do not know how she does it.” am excited to be able to stand and cheer
The judges and the whole crowd were again.”
Valentine admits that she wanted to amazed by how great their performance Valentine has learned to eat, sleep,
be kept in the competition the following was. and do daily activities in a backbend like
weekend so she did not tell her coach attending school.
“I started my back walkover and when
“It has been a real struggle to learn how

Sam Cost found at football tryouts, missing track
Angel Gibson, Reporter harder than everyone else, her absence strives for a sport she puts her all into it, herself hard enough that she can make
As the student body at RHS knows, has left a large void. and after the rough season football had the varsity team. It isn’t a dream of hers,
Sam Cost is a runner - she does track, There has been talk that Cost was at last year, she decided to see if she could it's a goal.
cross country, and winter track. She's a the football workouts instead of being at help.
never ending runner. track practice when the season was just “When I try something new I do my “I feel that If I push myself as well as I
As the track season is starting and getting started. best at it,” Cost said. “When I started did in running then I can make the varsity
she would usually be out there working Now, Cost may be small but when she running I strived to do my best and now level,“ Cost said. “I may not get much
I’m gonna do the same thing with playing time in the beginning, but I be-
football.” lieve that by the end I'll be somewhere.”
Football is considered a fall
sport, but they still practice all Football will give her a larger audience
through the summer and they than track does. While she loves to run,
start their workouts in the spring. she would also like to be in front of big
Cost has been running for a very crowds and get the attention that she
long time and she is in the top feels she deserves.
of the track team. She says that
football is something she wants to “I would love to be in front of a crowd,”
try out, because she already knows Cost said. “Whenever I run I don't really
that she is a good runner. get a crowd cheering me on, but if I do
“I have a high expectation for football I will get to experience the fans.”
Photo Illustration: Angel Gibson myself,” Cost said. “Just because
I'm already good at one sport Cost has been going to workouts to
shouldn’t mean I can’t try out help prepare her for football tryouts
another one.” but the game is hard and if she wants to
Sam believes that she may be make the team she knows she will have
getting scholarships for running so to push herself over the limits.
she wants to try out another sport
while she is still running. Everyone knows that running is her
Cost isn’t sure about what talent, but she feels that she is underes-
position she would like to play for timated through the school's eyes.
football, but she just knows it’s a
sport she would like to try for her She feels that trying out football makes
senior year. her drift away from all the hard work she
Cost decided to pursue something new because she loves a challenge athletically so she joined She believes that if she pushes has put into running and the track team
the football team for this coming season. is worried about her not being as dedi-
cated to them.

The student body will have to wait and
see if this accomplished running can put
on pads and hang with the big boys.

Caricature Wy-News April 2022
Pg 9
Mr. Durant drops
skateboard to be The New
Black Swan Black
Swan
Lillian Zieger, Federal Ninja Spy
Steven Durant, a mathematics teacher at RHS, Photo Illustration: Lillian Zieger

recently performed at the Mariinsky Theater in After training with junior Jack Vaduva, Durant was finally cast as the lead in the ballet after years of trying with AGT.
Russia, as the lead role in the Swan Lake pas de
deux [a two person ballet recital]. peanut butter and jelly sandwiches; and all girls with saw a video of Charli D'amelio doing the [Durant’s]
no allergies had missing ballet slippers. dance, which is when I realized how cool my bestie
“Honestly, I knew I was going to get the part and is.”
be able to perform,” Durant said. “I would prac- “No comment,” Durant said.
tice everyday, even at school, and I knew that I Durant found out that he was born to dance over Every video Durant posted, he also sent to Simon
would dominate.” spring break last year while he was in the Bahamas Cowell in hopes that Simon would get him on Amer-
with social studies teacher George Purdu. ica's Got Talent.
Durant danced the lead role as the Black Swan “I didn’t know he could dance until one night when
[Swan Queen], even though that is traditionally we were hanging out on the beach, and he started “Simon never answered any of the videos, but I
danced by a female, the judges were impressed by dancing,” Purdu said. “He looked like a graceful an- think it’s because he was threatened by my pure
his grace and knew that the lead was the only role gel leaping from cloud to cloud. Honestly, it was the talent, and incredible looks,” Durant said.
for him. most incredible thing I have ever seen in my life.” Simon Cowell wasn’t the only celebrity that Durant
Once Durant found his passion for dance, he start- reached out to. He also messaged Beyonce a couple
“I went to support him [Durant] at his rehears- ed training on his own and competing in local dance of times, hoping to be one of her backup dancers.
als, and I was stunned. I didn’t realize that he battles, and even performed in last year's talent
could leap and move like that,” mathematics show. “Beyonce also never replied to Durant,” Vaduva
teacher Katelyn McCabe said. “We’ve had con- “I thought that the talent show was just for the said. “I tried telling him that other opportunities
nected classrooms for years now, and I always students here at RHS, but when I saw Mr. Durant out would come, but honestly I think Beyonce’s missing
wondered why he would play classical music, but there, I realized I was clearly mistaken,” junior Cody out.”
now I realize that he was practicing.” Wieczorek said. “I didn’t know who he was last year,
but now he's my teacher and he's a pretty cool dude, As Durant becomes more famous, the question
Durant would train with junior Jack Vaduva except when you try to correct him.” is: what does RHS look like in his future plans, and
every day after school. They were preparing for With Durant’s fame rising, the Degas family [a de- dreams?
his audition and performance, since then Durant ceased famous ballet painter’s family] reached out,
realized he had a natural talent for ballet. hoping to make a piece dedicated to Durant. “If I get really rich and really famous, I’m leaving,”
“I got the call, and I don’t even know who Degas Durant said. “Don’t get me wrong or anything, I like
“He found out that I did dance and started is,” Durant said. “But whoever it is, I’m probably too some people here, but I’d rather hang out with ce-
following me around in the halls asking me about good for it anyway.” lebrities like Snoop Dogg and swim in all my money.”
how long I have been doing it, and if I was able Durant made a Tik Tok page dedicated to his
to coach him,” Vaduva said. “I figured that he was growth, learning, and accomplishments with his Durant’s current plan for his future is to keep prac-
kidding but he asked me to come after school one dance career. ticing for upcoming rehearsals to be in the Nutcrack-
day to show me what he can do.” “I follow his Tik Tok because I enjoy watching him er [a famous Christmas ballet recital], dancing the
dance,” Wieczorek said. “He has the rhythm, and lead.
Vaduva decided to become his instructor after the flow of a true prima ballerina.”
initial first practice, which was followed by a rough Soon after posting a couple of videos with a dance “We plan to keep practicing everyday, but with Du-
year of auditions, competitions, and the attempt to he created, he quickly blew up on Tik Tok; and people rant's last performance under his belt we are fairly
teach a hard headed student. started making their own content doing his dance. confident that this will be a piece of cake,” Vaduva
“Not going to lie, I posted a video doing Durant’s said.
“I'm not going to deny it, it did take a lot of beg- dance,” Purdu said. “It was a catchy dance and I even
ging to get Jack to become my instructor, but once Make sure to congratulate Mr. Durant on becom-
he saw me dance, he knew that I was a star,” Durant ing the Black Swan, and wish him good luck on his
said. “Most of the time he would tell me to do cer- future performances.
tain things, but I already knew how to do it, so I was
just like: whatever.” “I can’t wait to see what the future holds for me
and my amazing talent, but whatever it is I know
Durant has been known to have his students watch that it will be good,” Durant said.
him practice and then make constructive criticism
on what he could do better.

“Durant is crazy. He had us all put the tables to-
gether in the center of his room to make a stage so
then he could perform for us,” junior William Hesket
said. “When he was done performing, he would
ask if there was anything we thought he should fix.
The first time he asked, Paige Olson said something
about his foot and he squirted her with a spray
bottle.”

Durant’s journey of becoming the black swan was
not the easiest. First he had to make it through
rehearsals to get the part, which allowed him to live
out his dream.

“We would practice everyday, and even if he didn’t
always listen I knew that his natural talent would
help him get the role,” Vaduva said. “I’m his biggest
fan, and I will always be in his corner.”

During the auditions, there were many unsolved
attempts to sabotage the competition, including:
someone tried to give all of the gluten free girls
oatmeal raisin cookies, there were also a couple girls
with peanut allergies and someone tried giving them

Caricature Wy-News April 2022
Pg 10

Photo Illustration: Jake Conz including her parents, about her job or they could
be put in extreme danger.
SSepcryet
“Brooklyn didn’t tell me about her career until a
uncovered few days ago when she announced that she would
be resigning,” Greene said. “I was in immediate
Luscomb’s training cumlinates shock as I didn’t think my sweet innocent girl could
with Karaoke gig do something like a spy job while also being in the
top 10 of her class. After I was out of the being
Senior Brooklyn Luscomb was changed with testing recipes around the world including going undercover as Disney. shocked phase, I was so proud of her.”

Jake Conz, Undercover Investigative Journalist with Luscomb when she was in the sixth grade through Brooklyn accredits most of her success in these
JCP the seventh grade. trips to her sports teams which allowed her to
prepare for missions.
It has recently been uncovered that a senior in “My little Brookie insisted on moving to Wyan-
Roosevelt is a spy for the government for the du- dotte Schools in the sixth grade and I never under- “Swimming helped me the most due to the
ration of her time in high school. stood why,” Karen Greene, the mother of Luscomb immense amount of missions where I would be
said. dropped into large bodies of water and I would
“I’ve always felt like I had a greater purpose in Luscomb worked for the SRIID also known as The have to swim to land so that the aircraft would not
life,” senior spy Brooklyn Luscomb said. “Everyday Secret Recipe and Ingredient International Divi- be discovered,” Luscomb said.
I would wake up and I lived a boring life until I was sion. She would be sent to domestic and interna-
approached by a stranger who saw something in tional destinations to uncover recipes that took Luscomb also participated in tennis since her
me that I didn't see.” the world by storm or ingredients that make the freshman year, so that she could practice dodging
food amazing. any objects that may fly at her out of nowhere.
She was recruited for the Youth Spy Academy
in the fifth grade where she was poached from “My job was amazing because I got to travel the “Brooklyn would ask me to hit balls directly at
Southgate Community Schools. world and I know the top recipes for things like the her after practice,” senior tennis captain Reese
Starbucks Cake Pops or the original french crois- Blackledge said. “I always thought this was so
“Brooklyn had so much potential and I could see sant,” Luscomb said. “When I have kids one day we weird but every time I would throw a ball at her
that when she tripped a girl by ‘accident’,” her spy won’t have to leave the house to have some of the she would do a gymnastic move to dodge it and
handler, who chose to remain anonymous, said world’s best food.” I just thought she was preparing for Cirque Du
while holding up finger air quotes. “I've run this Soleil.”
organization for years and never saw a person with Her previous job was working with the Animal
more talent.” and Aquatic Division to figure out if they could Luscomb tends to take an unusual amount of
turn humans into fish. vacations for a teenager in school. Many of these
Luscomb has been a spy for about four years now vacations are to foreign countries such as France,
since she began in her freshman year. She spent “I loved my job in the AAD, we didn't figure out Nicaragua, Italy, and the Dominican Republic.
three years in the Youth Spy Academy. how to turn people into fish before I got a pro-
motion but we did discover how to make humans “Disguising these missions as vacations allowed
“My training was some of the most intense breathe underwater,” Luscomb said. “Unfortunate- Brooklyn to stay under the radar, she was swift and
physical activity I've ever been through,” Luscomb ly it is not safe to have humans underwater right quick and was always the go to person for us for
said. “I had to join a few sports so that my athletic now so we had to hide the medicine in a locked the international route,” Luscomb’s handler said.
abilities would continue to be strong throughout cabinet inside Area 51.”
the entire time I was in high school.” More recently Brooklyn has gone to Florida for
Luscomb was not allowed to tell a single soul, an undercover mission where she posted on Ins-
Wilson Middle School, secretly known as the tagram with the caption “#senior spring break”,
Youth Spy Academy of Michigan, began training some might speculate that this was a hint to her
leaving the program.

The letter S is the 19th letter in the alphabet,
senior and spring both begin with an s, two s’s
together make 19-19 which some like to believe is a
sign to pursue your dreams.

“All of Brooklyn’s Instagram captions are thought
out, she has a long list of captions for different
places in her notes app on her phone,” Luscomb’s
best friend Emily Miklaski said.

In an interview with Luscomb, she shared about
how her trip to Florida doubled as a mission to see
how Disney makes their famous pretzels and why
they are so good.

“One day, Brooklyn disappeared for a few hours
and I was concerned because she was not an-
swering text messages,” Grace Zalewski, one of
Luscomb’s close friends said. “She then came back
with Disney pretzels for everyone and we com-
pletely forgot she was even gone; how could you
not be distracted by those delicious pretzels?”

Luscomb has recently shared on social media
that she is a spy and that her time in service will
come to an end on Recognition day.

“I have served my purpose since starting at the
organization years ago,” Luscomb said. “This has
been the best time of my life, but now I have a
different calling to help people.”

After leaving the spy organization, Luscomb will
be continuing her career of helping people through
Karaoke. You can listen to her sing every Thursday
night at Bishop Park starting on May 26 where you
can listen to her opening song “Time of my life”
from Dirty Dancing.

Caricature Wy-News April 2022
Pg 11

LYMPIANS

Photo Illustration: Nilah Haugabook
Photo Illustration: Emily MacIntyre

Ward is next Simone Biles, takes home medals Hickey newly named 2024 Olympic rowing coach

Nilah Haugabook, Overthinker Ward wasn't exactly the best person to Emily MacIntyre, Olympic Rower him that he would not be completely
Junior Azzaria Ward made a huge coach because of her cocky attitude but Upon his recent acceptance into the resigning from his current positions in
Vargas made it work and tried her best Wyandotte. Instead, he would be an as-
accomplishment; everyone has heard to give Ward advice. position, Assistant Principal and head sistant coach for the Olympics, allowing
of the wonderful Simone Biles but now rowing coach Patrick Hickey has become him to be involved with both.
people are going to be hearing a lot more “I don’t need help but I had to put up a USA Olympic rowing coach.
of Ward’s name in the spotlight. with Vargas because if I didn't I would've Hickey said, “But I also love working
had a bad reputation if I didn't show “They reached out to me at the be- with the students and athletes in Wyan-
“It’s just an honor to do this and be that I needed some help,” Ward says. ginning of the year to see if I would be dotte so that was another reason I was
able to show my true talents because interested since someone submitted uncertain about taking on this new role.”
not a lot of people knew I was this tal- When Ward found out about the event a recommendation about me,” Hickey
ented,” Ward says. she was invited to, the first thing she said. Being an assistant coach gives Hickey
wanted to do was scream and shout and the opportunity to coach the Olympic
Many people were surprised when one let it all out. The hiring committee at the Olympic team while Wyandotte’s team is off
day Ward wasn’t at school until they board was looking for new coaches be- season. He will return for the high school
looked on TV and saw her accepting tons “I was so excited,” Ward said. “I first cause of long-standing coaches retiring season and head back to the Olympics
of medals on Olympic television. posted it on social media and told my at the end of this year. during the summer.
family and friends, it was just so exciting
“I was so scared when Ward wasn’t an- I couldn't contain myself.” “We have a couple of our very skilled “We worked it out with Patrick and
swering her phone and when she wasn't coaches retiring at the end of the year,” the rest of the coaches so everything
at school,” junior Keeley Theisen said. Ward was able to get three gold med- head of the Olympic board Adeline Dixit flows nicely together and he isn’t super
“Now I know it was for a good reason als and one silver but many people think said. “Because of this, I asked the rest of stressed out,” Dixit said.
and I’m very proud of her.” that situation is too good to be true. the board members to submit recom-
mendations of people they see fit to fill Hickey will be working with two other
Being on TV is a lot, and very intimidat- “I guess I'm proud of her but there is these positions.” assistant coaches along with a head
ing but Ward didn't let the nerves get to no way she is that good,” Theisen said. “I coach. Together they will plan different
her and she wanted to impress everyone need proof to see because I don’t believe The recommendation was submitted ways to make their team stronger.
watching. it.” by a soldier who served with Hickey as
a Marine who is also on the board, Evan “Being on a team is more than being
“I know I’m good and I want people to History teacher Mark Diroff made a bet Kell who thought Hickey would be an the strongest or the fastest,” Dixit said.
know that so I was trying my hardest to with Ward to get at least a single gold appropriate fit. “It includes how you represent yourself
show that I was better than everyone medal at the event so she leveled up and and your teammates, I am a firm believer
else,” Ward said. got even more. “I knew Patrick was a coach for Wyan- that Patrick will bring the best out in our
dotte and because I was in the Marines team.”
Many people were jealous of Ward “I wanted Ward to give her full poten- with him I just knew his personality and
because they thought she wasn’t capa- tial and I know she can, so I challenged drive to help athletes was exactly what According to olympiccoaches.com
ble of getting such a huge title but she her,” Diroff said. “If she didn't bring we were looking for,” Kell said. there are trained mental health experts
hasn't let the hate get to her. home a gold medal she would've had to readily available for athletes of any
“I know I have haters but I don't care,” sit in the corner for a week during the Once the board received all the rec- sport. They have a helpline number run-
Ward said. “I know I'm better and I know whole class time.” ommendations, they went through a ning day and night, 24/7 for any person
what I am capable of so that is all that lengthy interview process. who might be struggling.
matters.” Ward knew people were watching so
she made sure to attract tons of atten- “We had pretty extensive interviews “Sometimes rowing can be stressful,”
In order for Ward to really be the best, tion to herself with her leotards by mak- just to make sure we are hiring the right Hickey said. “Whether it be not hitting
she had to get some advice and coaching ing them bright pink and having black people with the right motives and aspi- a PR [personal record] or not placing as
on her talents. words that say “I know I will take home rations,” Dixit said. “When we sat down high as they’d like in a race, sometimes it
some medals”. with Patrick, I knew almost immediately can get in your head. I want to make sure
“I coached Ward for this event but it that he was going to do amazing.” every athlete I work with feels comfort-
didn't exactly go as planned,” junior Ma- “Ward is just really extra,” Vargas said. able at all times.”
riah Vargas said. “Azzaria was very bossy “What she did was so unnecessary and I With Hickey being very involved in the
and controlling and thought she didn't think she should've been disqualified.” Wyandotte community, he was hesitant
need any help.” to accept the offer. The board reassured

Caricature Wy-News April 2022
Pg 12

Editor-in-Chief Design Editor Copy Editor 3-Yr Reporter

Emily Miklaski Grace Zalewski Emily MacIntyre Ali Norris

Jake Conz Brooklyn Luscomb Kamerin Maddix Angel Gibson

Aubrey Migoski Dezeray Meyers Joe Valentine Parker Moser
Nilah
Lillian Haugabook
Zieger Zach
Allman