The Kleptogoblicon 1 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil
The Kleptogoblicon 2 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil Foreword You hold in your hands a black leather-bound tome. Aged gold writing appears across the cover as you examine it. It reads ‘The Kleptogoblicon’. Flicking through the pages you see a variety of ink scrawled notes and drawings. As you get towards the centre of the book, you see blank pages. But an invisible hand quickly inks them with new notes as you watch. Many miles away, a solitary Kleptogoblin sits down in front of a similar book and scribbles down notes about items they have stolen … items they plan to steal … and items they could only dream of possessing. Unaware their book has a twin. Growing up with games like Runescape and Diablo, I wanted to bring the joy of one-in-a-million drops, quirky unique items and lootsplosions to the TTRPG world. So, I started writing up my own items. This collection then became ‘The Kleptogoblicon’. And from The Kleptogoblicon, spawned the Kleptogoblicon Kompendiums. I hope you have fun with these items. I love to hear what stories and mishaps they have created, so come and let me know over on Patreon, Instagram or Reddit after you have let these items out into the wild. Anyway, time for you to embrace your inner Kleptogoblin and rifle through these pages to see what’s worth stealing. Enjoy. Copyright © 2023 Cardboard Anvil All rights reserved. Please use the contents of this book freely in personal games, but no portion of this book may be reproduced in any form for other means without explicit permission from the publisher.
The Kleptogoblicon 3 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil Links Patreon.com/CardboardAnvil Find the latest copy of The Kleptogoblicon here and other uploads. Instagram.com/Cardboard_Anvil Follow this page and like & comment on posts … together we can beat the almighty algorithm. Reddit.com/r/TheKleptogoblicon The Reddit HQ for The Kleptogoblicon. Discord Server A place to hang out with fellow Kleptogoblins.
The Kleptogoblicon 4 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil Things You Can Fish Up That Aren’t Fish Fishing Lures A box of 2d6 fishing lures. Obsidian Fishing Magnet A large disc of obsidian, enchanted to stick to basalt. It is attached to a heavy-duty metal cable. People think that once you throw an item into lava, it is destroyed for good. But, some items end up encased in basalt geodes, ready to be cracked open. This magnet allows you to attempt to fish for such geodes. There is a 5% chance that the magnet will be consumed by lava every time you throw it in. Mermaid Skirt A shimmering skirt made of reflective scales that shimmer green and purple as the light bounces off of them. If you enter water whilst wearing this skirt, your legs will transform into a mermaid tail. Rusty Sword A likely worthless sword, caked in rust. 1% chance of being a magic sword if restored. Rubber Shark A small rubber shark that floats in water. The shark is enchanted to float towards the nearest moving lifeform within the body of water that it is in. Bait Amulet A golden hook charm strung with thick fishing line. Whilst wearing this amulet, you can use an empty hook when fishing and fish will react as though you were using their preferred bait. Roll 1d20 each time you catch a fish. (1) It’s a huge catch and it tries to pull you and your rod into the water. (20) You notice a small treasure in the mouth of the fish if you manage to reel it in. Fishing pole A professional looking fishing pole. Glorb of Extinguishing A palm-sized glass orb that is cool to the touch. It is half-filled with water. When smashed, the orb explodes 5 buckets of water from the point of impact in a 15ft radius.
The Kleptogoblicon 5 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil Mantow Port Bottle A large empty port bottle. It is split vertically, one half crafted from clear glass and the other made from black glass. Pouring two liquids into this bottle and leaving it corked for 24 hours creates a liquid that has elements derived from both liquids. For example, mixing milk and kerosene might create a highly flammable but drinkable white liquid. This bottle has volatile reactions if potions are placed inside it, experiment at your own risk. Wooden Eye A varnished wooded eye. It spins around of its own accord. Landlocker Amulet Cursed. A piece of driftwood carved into the shape of a ship’s wheel. It hangs from a thin, weather-worn piece of string. Whilst wearing this item, you develop a phobia of passing any body of water, be that an ocean or a puddle. Fishing Voucher A voucher for one free bucket of bait from 'Rhod's Tackle and Mackerel' fishing emporium. Moorer’s Rope of Convenience A coil of thick shipping rope. The rope automatically wraps and knots around an anchor point when thrown or placed against one. Ring of Boore An iron ring with sharp serrated edges. The previous owner unwittingly set the command word as something common. Unfortunately, the ring was at the bottom of their bag whilst they were out boating in the middle of a large lake. After speaking the command word, you can place the ring against a surface and it will rotate rapidly, drilling a small hole up to 1ft down depending on the material. Bucket of Freezing A thick-walled metal bucket. The air inside of the bucket is bitterly cold. Anything left inside of this bucket freezes solid after 1 hour. Please don't try to wear this as a helmet. Child's Fishing Rod A bright blue children's fishing rod. Crocodile Tears Amulet A mottled green teardrop pendant. Wearing this amulet gives you the ability to convincingly cry at will.
The Kleptogoblicon 6 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil Holy Helmet of Diving A diving helmet blessed by a monk who lived in a lighthouse. He believed a holy relic was somewhere nearby in a shipwreck. Whilst wearing this helmet you can breathe underwater and it emits a holy light that illuminates 30ft in front of you. Perfect for exploring the midnight sea. Fake Wedding Ring A beautiful silver and diamond wedding ring. Closer inspection reveals it to be a fake. ‘I’m The Captain Now’ Challenge Scroll The scroll reads 'Take command of a sea vessel from the previous captain.’ If you complete the task, roll 1d10. (1-9) The scroll turns into another scroll with a new challenge. (10) The scroll turns into a reward chest. Fishing Rod A long dead fish is still on the hook. Bracelet of Buoyancy An orange copper bracelet split into quadrants by 4 silver bands. Whilst wearing this bracelet, you will always float in water. The Secrets of Fly Fishing A handwritten book of tips on fishing. There is a feather wedged in the middle of the book acting as a bookmark. After reading this book, you gain the ability to fly for 5 minutes after hooking a live fish. Ring of Wrigglers A wooden ring full of holes. It can be activated once a day to produce a handful of maggots. Rowboat figurine Can be activated once to have it turn into a fully-sized rowboat. World’s Smelliest Cheese Trophy A gold-plated wedge of cheese with the number 1 engraved into the top. The trophy emits a pungently strong stench of cheese. Fiiiiiiiish A book documenting the search for the elusive Solitary Spider-Salmon. Fishing Trophy A tiny bronze trophy of a fish. '3rd plaice' is engraved on it. Sponge A sponge that remains perpetually damp. You can wring a cup of pond water out of it once an hour.
The Kleptogoblicon 7 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil Key Board An enchanted board of wood about the length of your arm. Created by an eccentric enchanter who was tired of misplacing their keys. If you hold a key against the board for 10 minutes, an engraving of the key will appear on the board. This board can then be touched to the relevant lock and act as a key. Up to 12 key engravings can fit on the board. Neverout Candle A candle that remains permanently lit and never gets smaller. It emits no heat and can only be extinguished by using a candle snuffer. Last Breath Amulet A blue sapphire teardrop pendant, it is cool to the touch. Whilst in a nonbreathable environment such as underwater or in thick smoke, you can place this amulet in your mouth to fill your lungs with a breath of clean air. Leaving the amulet exposed to fresh air for 20 minutes recharges this power. Crabe Cuirass A copper cuirass with a mottled white pattern. If a limb is dismembered whilst wearing this cuirass, there is a 50% chance that it will grow back for every long rest after the injury. This effect lasts for up to 3 long rests and the cuirass has to have remained equipped since the injury. Giant Ring A ring fashioned from an iron barrel hoop. It is engraved with two names and a heart. Portable Porthole A thick disc of glass with an iron frame, it is caked in rust from saltwater. You can place the disc against a surface for it to meld into the surface and act as a window. The disc can be removed again after 1 minute of being placed. The disc has a 10% chance of malfunctioning as you try to remove it, becoming a permanent fixture in the surface. Swamp Fling A trashy romance novel about a woman and a swamp monster. Cart Wheel Trapped. Touching the wheel makes you do a cartwheel into the nearest body of water. Preserved Finger A withered finger. Presumably preserved via chemical or magical means. Safe A small, locked safe.
The Kleptogoblicon 8 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil Golden Scarab A valuable golden scarab. It has a 50% chance of turning into a real and vicious scarab each time a new creature touches it for the first time. Flask of Hot Chocolate A flask containing hot chocolate. Lock of Lochs A dark blue padlock body with a green shackle designed to look like a long-necked sea serpent. If you fail to pick this lock, an entire lake worth of water will start to leak from the keyhole. Pickled Herring A jar of pickled herrings. Crumbling Idol A crumbling, water-rotted idol of a long-forgotten deity. Shrimp Biscuits A packet of 3d6 prawn shaped cracker biscuits. They are covered in a tangy orange powder. You can eat the crackers as they are. But, if you place one in water for 5 seconds, it turns into a juicy cooked prawn. Codswallop A fish that looks like a club, or a club that looks like a fish. Whatever it is, it’s absolutely nonsensical. If your target is next to a body of water, you attack with advantage with a high probability that any creature your own size or smaller will end up in the water. Tin of Spam An enchanted tin of spam. It refills every Wednesday. Bag of Horseshoes A bag of 2d6 horse shoes. Frozen Potion A vial containing a frozen purple liquid. Effects unknown. Menu A menu for the local fish & chip shop. Brinenbait Brew A small sea-worn bottle filled with saltwater. An inch of sand has settled at the bottom and small flecks of seaweed drift around in the water. Drinking this potion improves your fishing skills for 1d4 hours. However, you become insatiably thirsty after consuming it and feel compelled to drink a random potion or drink straight after drinking this potion.
The Kleptogoblicon 9 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil Bowler Hat of Bobbing A black bowler hat once owned by the son of a man named Rene. Whilst wearing this hat, you can plunge your head into a body of water and return with an apple in your mouth. This can be done 3 times per day. Axe O’ Lotl A spined Battle-Axe. Occasionally the spines will break off in battle, but they will have grown back again by the next day. Some say that these spines can be used to create potions that regenerate limbs and organs, but research is inconclusive. Automaton head The rusted head of an automaton. Dentures A set of wooden dentures. Banana A singular ripe banana. Glass Oyster Pendant of Healing A glass oyster shell pendant. A small pearl rattles around inside of it. Whilst you are wearing this necklace, oysters may be eaten to heal 5% of your maximum health per oyster. Fish Head The severed head of a fish. Pickled Red Herring A jar of delicious but pungent pickled fish and onions. There are 2d4 slices of fish left in the jar. For one hour after eating a slice of pickled herring, your breath will distract people so bad that they are more likely to believe any misleading information you tell them. Rusty Dagger The handle is fashioned in the shape of an anchor. Oyster Brew A salty, slimy mixture. Adding some hot sauce to the mix certainly wouldn’t hurt. After drinking this potion, you can breathe underwater whilst stationary and have a 10% chance of regurgitating a handful of pearls when the potion wears off. This potion lasts for 20 minutes. Potent Poisson Poison A vial of murky water with colourful gravel at the bottom. A small piece of seaweed is rooted in the gravel and occasionally forms an air bubble that floats to the surface. After consuming this potion, your grow gills and can only breathe underwater. This effect lasts for 2d20 hours.
The Kleptogoblicon 10 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil Bloated Plant Pod A fleshy balloon-like plant pod filled with flammable swamp gas. Small Anvil An anvil the size of a loaf of bread. Baited Breath Mints A papery packet of 4d4 mints. They have a pungent gamey scent and don't taste much better than they smell. After eating one of these mints, you can breathe on a hunting tool such as a fishing hook or a rabbit snare to scent it. Local fauna will act as though that tool is baited with their favourite food. This effect lasts for 1 hour. Otto The Hugglehex Octopus A medium-sized purple plush octopus. If you place it in a body of water, the tentacles will start to swish back and forth and it will make its way to the bottom of the water. Upon hitting the bottom, it will start to make its way back up to the surface again. This will continue until it is removed from the water. Upon being removed from the water, the toy is instantly dry. The Abridged Book of Bridges A concise book on the history of bridges. A quote from the author on the back of the book reads “If you don’t like this book, get over it!”. This book can be placed on the edge of a chasm or crossing and opened for it to form an arched bridge across the gap. Only one creature may cross the bridge at a time. There is a 5% chance that the bridge will turn to water when a creature is in the middle. If this happens, the book reforms where the water settles. Arrow of Soaking At the point of impact, the arrow transforms into a 1 metre sphere of water. Waterproof Boots A pair of thigh-high waterproof boots. Supercooled Fishing Hook A fishing hook made from ice that remains magically frozen. When a small creature places this hook into their mouth, it instantly encases them in a block of ice. Every time the hook activates, it has a 20% chance of melting. Broken Padlock A padlock. It refuses to click shut. Shark Tooth A gold-plated shark tooth. It must have had some money … maybe it was a loan shark.
The Kleptogoblicon 11 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil Aquaquacker A blue rubber duck that you can activate to have it teleport to the nearest body of water. It will then begin to telepathically quack to you once every 30 seconds. The quacks getting louder as you get closer to the duck. Large Eyeball An eyeball the size of a basketball. Creakless Crowbar An iron crowbar with a long strip of dark purple silk wrapped around it to create a grip. This crowbar never makes a noise. This includes being dropped, splintering wood and being used as a bludgeoning weapon. 'Waterproof Clothing' Spell Scroll Reading from this scroll makes a targeted piece of clothing waterproof. The scroll crumbles to dust on use. Crate of 10 Pairs of Boots 20 times heavier than a boot. Iron Skillet Pendant A small skillet shaped pendant. Turns into a fully-sized skillet when placed on a heat source. Old Boot There is a foot still inside of it. Rotten Rabbit Foot Amulet The bony remnants of a preserved rabbit foot strung on a rusted chain. The amulet can be placed around the neck of a recently deceased creature to revive them, but the creature will be incredibly unlucky for the rest of their existence. The amulet falls apart as the creature revives. Maggot Box A small wooden box. It is slightly tacky to the touch and has a pungent air of ammonia. If you place a small piece of meat inside the box and shut it for 1 hour, 5d20 maggots will appear inside of the box. Voodoo Doll A doll fashioned from driftwood and aquatic weeds. Skyhook A large hook made from prismatic crystal. When placed in the air it will remain there and can support up to 100kg. Bottled Message A message in a bottle, written on it are insane ramblings about black smoke and bears with white fur.
The Kleptogoblicon 12 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil Fishing Line A reel of strong fishing line. The Bottomless Barrel of Books A small cask with a rectangular slot in the top. It is ink stained and smells like old books. Once per day, you can reach into the cask to blindly retrieve a random book. Generally, it is non-magical pulp fiction. Ceramic Vase of Bouncing A valuable ceramic vase that a wizard tried to protect from breaking by enchanting it with the properties of rubber. He may have overdone it. It is near-indestructible and bounces higher than jelly on a trampoline. Sardines A tin of sardines. Immortal Snail A highly venomous immortal snail. It develops a vendetta against the first creature it sees. Bath Plug A large bath plug the size of a cart wheel. The Little Book of Clam A tiny shell-clad book. Padlock A large metal padlock with a rusty key stuck inside of it. Bottled Oil A bottle of glimmering yellow oil. The label reads 'Massage in a bottle'. Small Chest A small ornate treasure chest. 50% chance of being a mimic. Waterproof Backpack A backpack made from water-resistant material. Can of Worms A can of 6d6 live worms. Hopefully opening this won’t lead to any problems. Wellington Key A bendy rubber key that doesn’t fit into any lock with ease. A failed attempt from an enchanter trying to create a key that would open any lock. Whilst this key is on your person, any footwear becomes waterproof. Hiyping Pebbles A pouch of 12 pebbles. When thrown, the sound of their impact emits 5 seconds later.
The Kleptogoblicon 13 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil Junk Ring A ring made from scrap metal with a scratched marble where the gem should be. Sea Shell Emits the sound of a crashing wave approximately every 20 minutes. Mascot Head A large polar bear mascot head. Misc Fisk An encyclopaedia of fish written in a language from the icy north. If left unopened for several hours, a thin layer of ice will form around the book. The middle of the book contains a double-page image of an artic ocean. You can release a fishing line into it in an attempt to catch a fish or something else that the icy depths may be hiding. Giant Snail Shell 50% chance of containing a giant snail. Undead Hand It remains still until it's within a few feet of a living creature. Then, it launches itself at them and tries to strangle them. Mask A yellowed white mask covered in holes. It has angular red markings on the forehead and cheeks. Water Damaged Wand A wand rotten with water damage. It may work if dried out, but how well it will work is another matter. Gold Coin A gold coin engraved with a skull and crossbones. Amphibiandana A green bandana, it is cool to the touch and slightly slimy. Whilst wearing this bandana, the duration you can hold your breath is doubled and you can telepathically communicate with amphibians. You do however develop a taste for eating small insects. Lucky Pebble of Looting Rubbing this pebble before looting a creature or container gives you a 25% chance of finding an additional piece of loot. Crumbles to dust on use. Crocodile Skull A crocodile skull, filled with sharp teeth. Skillet A heavy iron skillet.
The Kleptogoblicon 14 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil Vatten Vial A large vial of colourless, tasteless and scentless liquid. After drinking this potion, you feel hydrated for 4 hours. Lantern of Semperlux Cursed. A cumbersome iron lantern with a large ring handle. The lantern remains brightly lit at all times, even underwater. As soon as your hand touches the handle, it clenches shut around it and won’t let go. Cooking pot A large iron cooking pot. Sue Shee’s Rice of Rawness A bag of uncooked short-grain white rice. Placing a cooked piece of meat in this bag of rice turns the meat back into its raw form over the course of 1 hour. There is a 1% chance that this raw meat will be tainted with deadly pufferfish poison. Bones Several gnawed bones. Ring of Wringing A ring of tightly twisted bone and iron. Whilst wearing this ring, you can speak a command word to activate it. When activated, you feel an uncomfortable pressure across your whole body and any moisture is squeezed from your clothes. Dead Pike A pungent, half-skeletal dead pike. I wonder if it had a name. Wedding Ring A scratched and tarnished wedding ring. It has seen better days but it is still of some value. Nail of Elusive Dripping An ordinary looking metal nail. When hammered into a surface, the head of the nail changes colour to match the surrounding surface perfectly. It produces 1d4 droplets of water every 1d4 hours. Conch Shell A large conch shell. You can see small glowing eyes peering out from it. Clam A huge clam with a hard metallic shell. Cabbage A basic brassica. Iron Tankard A dented iron tankard from the local tavern.
The Kleptogoblicon 15 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil Ladder of Breathing A 10ft bamboo ladder. You can breathe clean air whilst holding onto a rung of this ladder providing one end of the ladder is in clean air. Coin Pouch Contains 5d20 copper coins. Piscatorially Pocketed Waders Rubber fishing waders with many pockets. They have the faintest smell of fish and maggots. Each pocket contains a miniature pocket dimension of useful fishing tools like rods and fishing line. Two pockets have been enchanted to contain a salt-water and fresh-water barrel of water and another contains a wormery for fresh bait. Buccaneer’s Boots of Boating A pair of well-worn and slightly water damaged pirate boots. Once per day, you can summon an old rowboat from the depths of any body of water large enough to hold one. The rowboat sinks after 1d12 hours. Note "Gone Fishing". Potion Crate A small crate of 1d6 potions.
The Kleptogoblicon 16 Patreon|Cardboard Anvil End of The Kompendium You have reached the end, congratulations! I hope you have found something useful and have enjoyed the read. If you’re itching to get your claws on even more items, subscribe to my Patreon to unlock access to The Kleptogoblicon. This is the ultimate collection of every item I have ever made and tons of new items are added to it at the end of every month. Patreon.com/CardboardAnvil Also, take a look at the ‘Links’ page and come and say hi on one of the other platforms, I love to hear from you guys. Thanks for reading.