Creative Journal - Renee Chong

WARNING

This creative journal contains heavy
topics such as mental anxiety and a lot
of different break downs and several very
depressing topics that I thought and went
through. If you were to be not in the right
state of mind I would recommend you not
to read the book till you are in a better
state of mind. You mental health is always

priority, so take care of it!



Table of Contents

INDULGENT (6 -7)

Anime...........(8- 11)
Games...........(12 - 15)
Food...........(16 - 17)

restless (18 -19)

The Start...........(20)
The Dive...........(21)
The Bottom...........(22 - 23)

Realization (24 -25)

Healing...........(26)
Continuing...........(27)

6 Indulgent
Creative Journal | Renee Chong

Indulgent 7

Indulgent

This is the first week of MCO where everything felt so
free, and I could just indulge myself in endless amounts
of anime and food without any work tying me down.
No human interaction, just me myself and my laptop,

watching the Animes I’ve been dying to watch.
Every day, at least 30 episodes of anime, binging
continuously. Then after getting bored of Anime,
I’ll play games and just submerging myself in endless
amount of content from my laptop. I was loving every
second of my life knowing that this was what I wanted

for the rest of my days.

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

8 Indulgent
Creative Journal | Renee Chong

Indulgent 9
Haikyu, as dramatic as it sounds, completes my life. I am a full time weeb and I can say that
I am very invested in this volleyball anime filled with teenage boys who tries their best to
be the best volleyball player they could ever be.
I love this anime so much I cried when the manga ended. I internally died and my soul has
left my body. I was so sad how it ended but it was such a good ending. I loved every single
part of Haikyu even though I started Haikyu because of the amount of guys in the Anime
BUT that’s not the point ;) .
Haikyu made my entire high school a little bit more bearable made me want to continue
doing my homework even though I hated it with a strong passion. I remember during the MCO
when everything was going down, Haikyu was the only thing keeping me alive and motivate.
KUROO TETSUROU AND KOZUME KENMA CAN TAKE ME ANYDAY. Just saying, I love them to bits I
would die for them and yes they don’t exist but you know, I M A G I N A T I O N. :D It is sad
to say it out loud but I’m just saying they are so cute especially when they are together. :’)

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

10 Indulgent

KIMETSU NO YAIBA

Kimetsu no Yaiba or in English Demon Slayer, singlehandedly takes the cake for
me in Anime. I said it, and it’s true. I watched it pretty late because it came
out near the end of 2019 and I was studying really hard for SPM so I watched
it during the MCO because there was so much time and BOY I WAS MISSING OUT.
Everything was good about the Anime nothing and I mean nothing
went wrong with this show, the soundtrack, the animation, the plot,
EVERYTHING WAS AMAZING. I remember waiting for updates during
the MCO and I was crying every time they kill someone I cannot I
would reread the entire manga again because of how good it was.

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

Indulgent 11
As y’all know Nezuko is the best girl I mean LOOK AT HER. Tell me she’s not the
most adorable thing you’ve ever seen. She is the goddess of all goddesses, my
favorite character of all time is Zenitsu and as whiny and annoying he is I love him
from the bottom of my heart. He is so goddamn chaotic, his personality is a mood.
I love how much he loves Nezuko and the fact that he is not weak at all. I LOVE IT!

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

12 Indulgent

I started Valorant as a joke because I knew I sucked at FPS games. My friends
were part of the reason for me playing this game. So here we are now. I hate
the game, but I still love the graphics and the diversity of each character!
During the MCO, I had nothing to do. So it was either this or just sleeping all
day, which didn’t sound like a productive idea. Thus gaming came and filled

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

Indulgent 13

in that empty hole of mine. It was
fun at first because you had no idea
what you were doing. Just continuous
dying and shooting and dying. I found
it funny at first. But it got super
demotivating knowing that I couldn’t
help my team by dying all the time.

or places you can’t even see. It’s There are those accidental or
honestly frustrating. surprising clutches from time to
time but still super exhausting when
Even after all that, I still love the you start to get toxic at the game.
characters in the game. They are all It doesn’t help how some people can
very unique. Some of the characters somehow kill you through a wall
had nice voice lines and each
character had their unique skill to
complement their personality.

Other than that, it was also fun
to see your friend doing very well
to clutch the whole round and
save everyone’s butts from losing. I
definitely recommend this game to
people who love first-player shooting
games and can adapt to different
situations.

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

14 Indulgent

OK, so Genshin. Not going to lie I wasn’t Well, that all changed when I saw the voice
hooked on it when I first started the actors for certain characters and I died. My
game as I am now. That was because drive to play Genshin reached its peak. I love
I didn’t understand that game and I Anime and as much as I love Anime, I love the
thought of everything as a hassle to character’s voice actors. There were a few
collect, explore and upgrade everything. characters in Genshin that had the same
It seemed like a pain in my butt at first. voice actor as characters in Haikyu. That
was when I dived my whole soul into Genshin.

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

Indulgent 15

To this day, I still love playing Genshin. After reigniting the love I have for Genshin,
I play it almost every day. I love the characters and as Genshin evolves, I think I would
continue to fall in love with it. Some of the game mechanics are quite cool and I love
the way the characters attack the enemy. They all have very cool abilities and skills.
It surprises me how they can come up with new abilities with every new character
they create. I love Hu tao and Ganyu by the way. I think that they are sexy women and
they are so damn powerful I just love them to bits. They made Spiral Abyss a little
less painful to go through. I make temp comps based on them. I am useless without
them, my account would be worth nothing without them. I love them a little too much.

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

16 Indulgent

These are some of my tweaked recipes for roasted chicken and Cheesecake. There aren’t the best,
but they are most definitely delicious. The reason why I tweaked it was cause I just used what
I had, especially for the spices. I mean it turned out good so that’s all it matters! :D

ROASTED CHICKEN Rub the mixture all over the chicken,
INGREDIENTS under the skin, and inside the
cavity. Season chicken outside and
1 chicken 3-4 pounds inside with salt, pepper and parsley.
2 potatoes Don’t be afraid to use generous
2 sticks of carrot amounts! Rub the minced garlic
1 head of broccoli over the chicken and under the skin.
Half of the stick of melted butter Stuff the garlic head into the chicken
1 teaspoon of rosemary cavity along with the rosemary sprigs.
1 teaspoon parsley
Salt and pepper to taste
1 tablespoon of minced garlic

INSTRUCTIONS Place the chopped vegetables on
Preheat the oven at 220 °C. Rinse and the pan. Cover the vergetables
pat dry chicken with a paper towel. with salt, pepper and the
Combine melted butter, parsley,and mixture we made before this.
rosemary. Place the chicken on top of
the vegetables. Roast chicken,
basting halfway through cooking
time, until cooked through.
Broil until golden and crispy!

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

Indulgent 17

CHEESECAKE crumbs are finely ground. You can
INGREDIENTS use a food processor or blender to
For the graham cracker crust: do this. Then mix your crumbs with
melted butter, granulated sugar, and
1 packet of graham crackers a little kosher salt. Press this into the
1 stick of butter bottom and halfway up the sides of a
1 tablespoon of sugar 9- inch springform pan.
1 teaspoon of salt
Third step is the to make the filling!
For the cheesecake filling: :D Make sure everything is at
400g of cream cheese room temperature, and mix all the
100g of sugar ingredients for the filling together!
1 tablespoon of sour cream Too much mixing is also a big no no!
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
2 eggs

INSTRUCTIONS Step 4 is to bake the cheesecake. First,
First step is to bring your ingredient double wrap the bottom of your pan
to room temperature. This is to in foil. Then find a baking pan that
ensure the cheesecake will bake is bigger than your cheesecake pan
perfectly is for everything to be at and fill it about 3/4- inch deep with
room temperature! very hot water. Now, carefully place
your cheesecake into the oven and
Second step is to make the crust. allow it to bake for 60 -70 minutes.
Make sure your graham cracker

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

18 Restless
Creative Journal | Renee Chong

Restless 19

Restless

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

20 Restless

The Start

This phase is after I've gotten bored of watching
anime every day and I wanted to go out so badly I
wanted to meet people other than my family. I was
bored out of my mind, but boringness turns into
restlessness and that turns into anxiety.

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

Restless 21

The Dive

Being at home a lot takes a toll on your mental
health. Thinking about how you've been eating
nonstop because you're at home all the time there's
no external judgment. Not talking to other people
for long periods turns into social anxiety, not
knowing how to talk to people, being scared of
their judgment when you speak, scared of what

others might think of you.

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

22 Restless

The Bottom

Then that turns into a big monster trying to devour you
from the inside, you start to see everything as a threat,
overthinking every small incident and overdramatizing
the situation when it's just a small mistake.

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

Restless 23
You start to hate yourself for it, and you start to
cry wishing you were dead so that these feelings
would stop coming because it's not like the people

around you care about you. Why live?

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

24 Realization
Creative Journal | Renee Chong

Realization 25

Realization

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

26 Realization

Healing

As time passes, you start to realize how
tiring it is to cry and think about it every
day, you start by trying to do small things
like connecting with your friends, try calling
them occasionally. It still hurts, anxiety is
still there but it’s better, it’s better knowing
that you’ve tried. From talking to them a few
times, slowly becomes a daily routine and
slowly being unable to leave the conversation.
Being able to meet new people in the process.

Creative Journal | Renee Chong

Realization 27

Continuation

The pain has slowly faded as the confidence
flows in. Knowing that these people would not
judge me for who I am, knowing that they’ll be
there for me, and knowing that they care. I’ve
wanted to live. It’s tiring sometimes but it’s
worth living. Day by day it became progressively
better, I found new people I could trust and rely
on. It became bearable to not see people every day.
But being able to talk to them every day was
enough. The pain is no longer there. I am free from

the monster I made. I survived MCO. :D
Creative Journal | Renee Chong