May Imerge 16

Nothing says new beginning like the
morning’s new sunrise—the same can e said
of the first days of spring when the flowers
begin to shoot up from the ground, the trees
begin to bud and leaves start to form.

We’ve been on a Hiatus for the past three
months, but we are back and ready to
motivate, encourage and tell stories about
extraordinary individuals who have
overcome great odds and made their own
miracle happen.

Itr’s May and we are popping up with Joe
Denny’s Story, Healthy Living, Gardening
Advice, Comfort Food and great Summer
Drinks. Start turning pages and enjoy this
months edition of Imerge Magazine.

Kathleen Mary







Life is full of surprises, but just like the movie only shown at
Christmas, once you find your place in it it can become

Childhood is tough, you have so many things to face, encounter, realize,
adapt to and you have to do it with a child’s mentality feeling insecure
and very vulnerable. As a ten year old kid, Joe Denny faced all of these
challenges and one more, he was a chubby boy. That chubby boy grew
into a fat kid that everyone looked down on and made fun of. He was
the one who stood on the sidelines waiting to be picked, his only asset
according to his classmates was the benefit his weight added to the tug
of war team and when socializing he wasn’t just Joe, he was the fat kid.

His weight continued to be a problem through grammar school and as
he entered his preteen years he was considered morbidly obese. This
created many emotional as well as physical problems for him, but as
much as he wanted to change, to make his physical problems with
obesity go away, he couldn’t. Joe realized he had to do something to fix
his weight problem, so he did. As a 14 year old weighing 336 pounds
Joe lost a little over 100 pounds. He went from an unpopular fat kid
with low self-esteem to a slimmer more confident young man. Over
time he fell back under the spell of food and old habits and regained all
but 15 pounds. In spite of his low opinion of himself and less than an
ounce of self-assurance, Joe mustered up the courage to ask a pretty
girl out. He was hesitant, he was full of trepidation, his was fearful of a

harsh rejection, but to his pleasant same thing, “how did fat Joe get
surprise, she said yes and Joe finally such a beautiful girlfriend?” All
had the girlfriend he wanted. He good things must come to an end,
moved into the next three years and this was one of them, Joe lost
with the girl at his side and stares of the girlfriend and his feelings of self
surprise from friends and -respect and confidence went away.
schoolmates who all wondered the
This was the beginning of his bouts

of yo-yo dieting and weight loss; he’d lose weight then gain it back. Joe
began to see a disturbing pattern that was both discouraging and
disheartening. When he got into his twenties, he maintained an adult
weight of about three hundred and twenty pounds for years and then,
after going through an extremely painful relationship, he discovered
body building. This was something he entered into with zeal and gusto,
he knew it would be good for him physically, and he thought it would

help him find the stuff
dreams were made out of--
true love, and fill the hole in
his heart.

Looking back at his younger
self, Joe says, “I always
thought as a fat kid, will I
ever get a girlfriend? Then
as an adult I wondered as a
fat man, will I ever find a
wife? It seemed like all of
my lost dreams and failures
were linked back to that
little fat boy.”

He got into body building in
1995 and his entire focus
was this: He wanted a
girlfriend, he wanted a
partner, he wanted the
American dream. He
wanted to get married and
live happily ever after. He
went on for three years
working out, lifting weights,

learning the body building game and
in the process he lost a lot of weight,
getting down to 245 pounds and as
he did he was a lean and muscular
machine and a lot of his pounds went
from fluffy fat to hard muscle. He
went from a BMI of almost 50 to not
just a normal size, but what some
might consider to be buff and
brawny. He was beginning to be
noticed not for his jiggle but for his
jive.

He proved this to the world and to
himself on spring break when He
went to Cancun Mexico and was
chosen to be in the ‘Hot Body
Contest’. It was there, while
vacationing in paradise, He met his
future wife, Kathy, and he was
beginning to see the light and colors
of the rainbow of happiness.

She was from Michigan and he was
from Ohio, they were just three
hours apart and what ensued was a

happy love affair that took him to the always wanted, but in the process
bonds of matrimony. He was feeling he lost something that he’d
pretty good about his life at this point, managed to secure in his search
and ready to begin anew in Buffalo, New for it---consistency. His healthy
York with his new bride. life style and body building
program got put on a back burner
He got comfortable, content and cozy and he slowly began to revert back
with his life, He had gotten what He’d to the man he never wanted to see
again and before he knew it he
was up to three hundred and
fifteen pounds again. He managed
to maintain this weight for fifteen
years and in the process of time he
went from husband to father, he
now had two beautiful daughters.

His youngest daughter joined a
marching band at the age of
eleven and he was a band parent,
assisting in whatever way he could
to support his daughter. He
jumped in here and there doing
what was needed, but what he
really wanted was to be a pit dad,
to help get equipment on and off
of the field but he could not do

this because of his excess weight. doctor gave it to him. He made Joe
He looked to the future and fill out a new form, then gave him a
wanted to be there in the coming recommendation to see a Bariatric
season. Surgeon at Synergy Bariatrics in
Buffalo, New York. He advised Joe
This introduced him to depression to give them a call concluding the
so he took matters into his own he was sure Joe was ready for it.
hands and went to see his family
doctor for a well visit. His doctor
was an obese man as well, but Joe
noticed that every time he saw
him, he was getting thinner and
thinner at a rapid rate. He had had
weight loss surgery and the change
it had made in him was incredible,
not just physically, but emotionally
as well.

Joe told his doctor about his
problem and why he was feeling
badly about himself. He wanted to
be a pit dad for his daughters
marching band, but couldn’t,
because his physical condition and
being morbidly obese held him
back. He let the doctor know that
he knew he needed help and his

This led Joe on a search of what He went home with a new
RNY Bariatric Surgery, the gastric assignment, to research the
bypass, was about. One weekend Vertical Sleeve and compare it to
after seeing his doctor, two other the Gastric Bypass to come to a
people came into his life and they conclusion on his own. After
both shared their weight loss extensive research, two weeks
surgery stories with Joe and they later, he and his wife went to an
had both gone to the doctor Joe ‘It’s a Wonderful Life Weekend’ in
was recommended to see. This Seneca, New York. As he enjoyed
was no coincidence, He knew celebrating this weekend with all of
things were working themselves its food and festivity, he came to a
out for him and He was certain that solid conclusion: he was going to
He had found an answer to what have the Gastric Vertical Sleeve
was ailing me. weight loss surgery.

He went to see Dr. Caruana and the Inspired by the weekend, he
doctor was pleasantly surprised decided to begin a support group
declaring that Joe was the on Facebook. He had seen many
healthiest bariatric patient he had for Gastric Bypass patients, but he
ever seen. Joe had no high blood wanted to have one for the
pressure, no diabetes, no high procedure he was doing so he
cholesterol; the doctor said Joe started a group of his own. He
was doing well for a fat man. He called it “It’s a Wonderful Sleeve”
suggested that he do the Vertical and so began his journey into the
Sleeve. world of weight loss surgery and

finding his way to the losers’ bench.

On January 30, 2013, he had the surgery that changed his life forever. The
months that followed took its toll on him; he was a man who loved food.

He did not enjoy the process he had
to endure to surrender to the
dismissal of the joy of food in his life,
but he did enjoy the success he
found in weight loss. He joined every
weight loss support group he could
find and finally decided to go back to
lifting weights once again. He
maintained his healthy diet of low
carbs and high protein and added a
daily workout. He was consistent,
dedicated and loyal to his cause.

In September of that same year he
was down eighty pounds and doing
quite well, but he needed support
and the group he was in was poorly
regulated. Not wanting this to stunt
his success, he decided to form his
own support group and called it the
Gastric Sleeve Gang. He was
particular, he wanted things to be
clean, no ads, no cussing, problems
and arguments he just wanted a
place where people could come to
get support. It turned out to be a

successful venture and in eight months he had over four thousand
members, and now it is over seventy five hundred strong.

Joe was ready to pay it forward, his desire now was to help other obtain
the success that he had, so he changed his ‘It’s a Wonderful Sleeve’
support group which was over one thousand members and started a new
group which he called the Bariatric Body. His desire was to have a group
that would cater to the needs of people who struggled as he did, who had
surgery and needed to understand the many aspects of how the body
works and how our emotions, our past and hopes were all connected. The
principals applied to many; whether they were surgery patients or not and

today he has over fifteen hundred members.

He started out needing support and help for himself and thanks to surgery
and the support he gathered from the many people who supported him in
his groups on Facebook, he was able to achieve success and move on in
his life to feel healthy, liberated and capable of meeting every challenge.
Joe has a message, not just for those feeling hopeless with pounds of fat
that spell morbid obesity, not just for those who are waiting for weight
loss surgery or recovering from it. Joe has a message for the ones who
get stuck, find themselves in a plateau and get discouraged to the point to
where they fall back into old habits and suffer the agony of seeing pounds
added to the scale that throw them into a panic with feelings of
exasperation which bring on the fear of going back to the place they never
want to be again. His program the Bariatric Brain is not just a list of points
and tips to encourage the discouraged and remind them of where they
want to be with a slap on the hands and a pat on the back. It’s a well-
tested theory that works, and he is eager to share it.

His force and motivation is a simple one, he loves helping people and
today, he is a source of knowledge, advice and encouragement for many
and soon hopes to be able to share his that trio of motivation with others
as a keynote speaker at weight loss conventions and seminars.







Summer is upon us and when it comes to getting healthy, the best
produce department can be n your own back yard.

One of the most important Is space a problem? It is very
things in any healthy lifestyle is possible to brow a lovely garden in
the consumption of fresh fruits containers. I have a raspberry
and vegetables. They are bushes in fie gallon buckets I
nature’s gift to us for healthy purchased from the Home
living and we can take Improvement store, I have also
advantage of them often if we planted zucchini and eggplant in
have a summer garden. the buckets with success.

It doesn’t take a lot of space The trick to gardening in these
to make a garden and th buckets is drainage, take a drill and
benefits are tremendous
considering the idea of having
fresh produce, the freshest, and
knowing you don’t have to fight
with chemicles of wax to get to
the nutrients.

Just make sure you stick to
the plants that will do well in
your weather and climate.
Depending on your tastes, you
may be able to grow enough to
not just satisfy your summer
appetite, but you can do some
canning for the coming months.

make some holes not just in the bottom but drill a few holes in the
side as well. Put some rocks at the bottom and fill with a good
fertile soil don’t forget fertilizer I did this with strawberries one
year and was surprised how many berries I got.

One of my favorite things to have on hand is a salad garden. You
canactually buy one of these at local stores at the beginning of the
season. Now the trick in keeping this garden going is to snip the greens
daily, just cut the tops and allow them to continue to grow.

Two very important things,
not just for your garden, but
for yourself as well. Without
the sun and these two
elements, your garden will
not work.

You need to drink plenty
of water to maintain your
healthy being. You also
need nutrients, that come
from the foods you eat, but
it doesn’t hurt to throw in a
good multi-vitamin on a
daily basis. And as for the
sun? Too many people do
not take advantage of
getting out of the house and
just enjoying life.

Don’t let the summer
make it’s debut without a
plan: A plan to enjoy every

sunny day, every rainy afternoon, the stars and the soft summer
breezes at night. This is a great time of the year don’t waste it staying
inside and watching television, movies about others enjoying life and
engaging in the day.

This year get out there and participate in the sun and fun.







I often go to public gardens
and take notes, ‘I want this, I
want that, and Oh my, can I
make this?’ I usually spend
hours dreaming in my head
what I want to do and when I
get home I am faced with a lot
of plans, a blue print, a
template, and all to often I
simply say “Oh the heck with
it, I want my garden to be
free—free to flourish and
grow, and free to not cost me a
fortune. “



So I asked one of the
master gardeners at the
Garden Center, “How do you
do this?” She went through a
lot of hmms and awws and
then took me to a counter,
pulled out a couple of books
and showed me how they
plan it, blueprints, expensive
plants by the twenties and
lots of man power.

I don’t do templates, blue
prints scare me and I do not
have the money to spend
thousands, yes, thousands
when one plant is $20 and
others are as much as $50
and it is going to take
hundreds of plants and
flowers to make a glorious
sight like this. So I have

learned a new system: I call it the cheapie system. Here is
how it works.

I check Craigs List: There are many people who are
cleaning out their gardens and they are throwing away
perreniels and vines and bushes. I jump on those like gravy
on rice, bring them home and put them in my green house
to try to revive some and while they are getting ready, I hit
the big places like the home improvement stores. Did you
know that they put out racks and racks of plants every
week ranging from $1 to $5, they may have a little dead in
them, may need some watering, may be plant bound and
some are just spent and need to be dead headed. I buy
them up and add them to the pile of possibilities.

I make these rounds at least twice a week and you’d be
surprised at the treasures I’ve found. Then I set them out
on my deck and start to plan my gardens, which may not be
worthy of Home and Garden Magazine, but the are so
gorgeous and that which provides the back drop for my
happy place through the fall.

Now the thing about making your garden look

manicured and glorious is simple. You have to plan it and
the only thing you need to do this is common sense. If you
are doing a border garden, just make sure all of your plants
are uniform, they don’t have to all be the same plant, just
be sure they make a uniform border for instance, use a
variety of 3 plants and scatter them along your border.

You can also you mound of flowers scattered evenly

If you are making a round garden, scater your plants
accordingly. Make sure your large, tall plants are in he
middle and surrounded by small or large mounds and
plants a varied heights, the taller fanning out to the

smaller on the borders.

I often set a small trellis in the center of my circle gardens
with a small non-invasive climbing vine. The best place for
wild and ferocious growing vines like the morning glory
and the Hibiscus is on a fence free of other plants or a large

standing trellis or wall.

One of my favorite gardens is the container garden as
show here in front of this quaint little cottage. You choose
what you want to plant, herbs in one, flowers in another,
vegetables—-it is all up to you. You don’t have to do rhyme







Finding a way to health, body mind and s

You can sing the songs, like ‘People, people who
need people are the luckiest people in the world.’ Was
Barbara on medication when she sang that, or did
someone just want to make a point?

It is true, we are no islands and we do need people
in our lives, but the truth of the matter is sometimes
the ones who hurt us the most are the people we let
get closest to us. Plain and simple truth is, sometimes
people get close to us so they can be our friend, but
sometimes they want to get friendly just to see what
we’ve got.

I tell people all of the time there are two kinds of
people, the givers and the takers and the takers have
these huge antennas that they use to find the givers
and once they do they begin a great time consuming

soul.

journey, they start to process their hand is wide
take, and take and open taking not only what you
take and take. They give to him, but everything you
may come in the have—in the dark, on the sly,
guise of a poor when you’re not looking—their
unfortunate soul job is to wipe you out, to take
who needs all that they can get before you
guidance, love, either run dry or figure them
nurturing and they out, in either case they will be
seem to be forced to walk away but
battered, beaten repentant? Sorry? Wiser or
and bruised from life Kinder? Nah, probably not,
and the many
heartbreaks they
have experienced.
Your job is to love
them, nurture them,
help them see their
worth and in the

users are made out of this incredibly ob sorbent
material, they soak up anything they can get to.

Once the user finds a way into the givers life, he does
not show mercy, not lasting sincere mercy, but he can
put up quite a show of pretend mercy and grace when
he needs to in order to gain the givers trust and to
convince him or her that he is the real deal. He is full of
promises not kept, he is always giving his word which is
not worth any more than the prizes you find in a cracker
jacks box and he has the integrity of a roach that crawls
from crack to crevice trying to find something to gnaw
on.

The taker is full of acting skills, he acts like he
loves you, cares about you, will even pretend to fight
for you with one face and then turn that face around
and shine iti in an entirely different direction, putting
you down and trying to make others dislike you.

Many users are gifted, have multi-talents, or
should I say multi-personalities that take you from Dr.
Jekyll to Mr. Hyde as the mood suits them and will do
their best to confuse the daylilies out of you with their
bipolar charm.

When it comes to recognizing a user, it doesn’t
take much to pinpoint them, they are the ones
pretending to be your best friend and taking all of
your stuff, but for some reason many of us don’t
quite see it coming because we are bamboozled by
the charm and deceptive powers of the user. So
givers beware, the user is out there and hungry for
stuff, stuff you have and he doesn't mind becoming
your best friend, at least long enough to wipe you out
and leave you high and dry.

Protect yourself, don’t be so quick to give and
accept a person at face value. If they want your trust

make them earn it, if they want your money, make
them earn their own, you are not their mama, and the
best way to take care of someone, especially a grown
man or woman who is a cry baby and a whiner
complaining about how tough life has been for them is
to make them aware of their responsibilities and do
for themselves. Watch them closely when they gripe
about the bullies who are out to get them because
you will soon find evidence that the user is usually the

biggest bully of all. Usually the one
who deserve
The truth is givers like to give, your giving are
but if you are going to pour the ones who
yourself into someone, make don’t come
sure they deserve it and make crying to you
sure they are sincerely in need with their hand
and appreciate what you are
doing for them.

Usually the ones who deserve
your giving are the ones who
don’t come pouting with their
hand out looking for it. They are
the ones who show you love
and concern and give you want
they have to give and expect
nothing in return.

When it comes to being a
giver the greatest lesson I can
teach you is to develop a sense
to detect sincerity, and when
you feel something else, keep
on walking.