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Presented by
Julie Burch

How to Remain Cool
and Collected in

Challenging Conversations

Don’t Lose

Your Cool

Staying Poised

Reacting inappropriately will damage
your credibility and respectability.

Stage 4: !
Retreat and regroup.

Stage 3: !
When they attack first

Stage 2: !

4 StagesThe heat of battle
Stage 1: ! of Preparation
The battle plan

Stage 1:

The Battle Plan

Understand your emotional triggers.

Secondary emotions are usually
the ones shown to others.

Emotional Triggers

Our triggers begin to set as early as age 4.

Emotional Triggers

Change from reaction to response.
It’s emotional control, not elimination.

Emotional Triggers

We may not act without becoming
emotionally invested.

Learn to make decisions before you
hit the tipping point.

Communication

Styles

We are different types of
communicators at different times.

Passive communicators get
their rights stepped on.

Communication

Styles

Aggressive communicators
interrupt or bully others.

Both types overcompensate for their
inability to deal with the situation.

PrBaetwtleoPlrank

1. Be timely.
2. Be specific.

PrBaetwtleoPlrank

3. Anticipate their perception.

4. Script your side of the issue.

1. The problem Pi4ecKeesy
description

2. How you feel

3. Results of what
they are doing

4. What you
prefer they do

5 Strategies

for Keeping Your Cool

1. BRP: Breathe, relax, and pause.

• Slow down your breathing to slow down your heart rate.!
• Relax your whole body.!
• Listen and take a moment before responding.

2. Get your gun in the holster.

5 Strategies

for Keeping Your Cool

3. Stay left.

5 Strategie5sStrategies

for KeepinFgoYr oKureeCpionogl Y

5 Strategies

for Keeping Your Cool

4. Keep them talking.
5. Remember to Q-TIP.

Be Resolute• Communication is all
about perception.!
• Use the 3 Vs.!
1. Visual!
2. Vocal!
3. Verbal!
• Build a picture of resolution
and determination.

• “That’s an idea!”!
• “Before we move on …”!
• “That’s a great point. What

do you think about …”

Be Resolute

Handle Confrontation

Rise above by acknowledging
and transitioning.
Take the comment and turn it
into a question.

Handle Confrontation

It’s harder to handle blindsided attacks.

Look at it as a time limit.

RecogWnihzeen you’re losing it

RecogWnihzeen you’re losing it

Start with BRP.

Take a professional time-out.

RecogWnihzeen you’re losing it

You can walk away.
Know your time limit and try to
increase it.

What if lYoosue cDoontrol?

Moving forward is a process.

First, assess the damage.

What if lYoosue cDoontrol?

Apologize ASAP to the right people.

If you catch yourself mid-sentence,
apologize then and there.

What if lYoosue cDoontrol?

You can also apologize right
after the incident.

Acknowledge the mistake, admit the impact,
apologize, then take corrective actions.

What if lYoosue cDoontrol?

You can apologize after a cool-down period.
Remember, they have a right to be angry.

Summary

You lose emotional control at the same time
as you lose control of the conversation.