ONLY ONE WITHOUT A PHONE Everyone in my class has a phone. I have counted and only two people (including me) don’t. Sometimes it makes me feel left out. Other times I think I don’t even want a phone (and my parents say I can’t have one yet anyway). Some friends peer pressure me to have one. Is there a way of saying I’m OK without being rude? Dear Only One Without A Phone, Yes. As casually as possible, say, “Yeah, I’m sure I’ll get a phone eventually but I’m good for now.” And just leave it at that. You don’t need to say anything more and, believe it or not, while having a phone has its advantages, a few people might actually envy you—phones are hard to put down, and it’s a shame we all spend so much time scrolling when we could be living more in the present moment. GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 49 Since I am his locker neighbor, I have to see him every day. Today he walked past me and called me a b-tch under his breath. (Sorry for the bad word!) There’s this other guy I liked (and he’s why I broke up with my ex, tbh). So I was talking to this other guy and confessing my feelings to him, but he told my ex what I said (turns out they are good friends and I didn’t know)—and now my ex is even madder at me. I may sound like the victim, but I also said and did some mean things back. I need advice. Dear Immature Ex, Ugh, complicated. In general, it’s best not to break up with one guy and go out with his friend. Of course your ex is hurting: It was a double whammy. And may I point out that there are more than three people in the world? Is there someone else to crush on? Your ex is mad because it hurts to be need to decide is whether you want to stay close with this girl. It sounds like you don’t. If you’re OK with being less close, the next time she texts, take your time answering. Then say something like, “Yikes, that sounds really complicated. Good luck. Sorry, I can’t talk now.” In other words, it’s not your duty to fix her life or listen to all her drama. If, despite it all, you decide you do want to stay close, then just answer her questions as honestly as you can. Say, “It seems like you’re overwhelmed with your class schedule right now. Can you drop an elective?” Or, “You say you like him, but it sounds like he’s pressuring you to do stuff you don’t want to.” Help her see things more clearly without becoming her go-to for every issue. Not easy! IMMATURE EX I dated this guy then broke up with him. He handled the situation really immaturely. HOLIDAY LOVIN’ I have a crush on someone I only see on New Year’s Eve (we both go to the same party with our parents). He’s the nicest person I know, and we hit it off every year. I decided that this year I want to stay in contact with him. The problem? I don’t have his number…but my parents do have his parents’ address. What should I do? Dear Holiday Lovin’, Easy one. Write him a funny card (bonus points if it ties to something you guys always chat about) saying it was fun to see him, you’re wishing him a good spring and you don’t have his number, so you figured you’d write. You don’t want to come on too strong, but why not remind him of the girl who hasn’t forgotten him? I bet he hasn’t forgotten you either. RAZOR PHOBIA I want to shave my legs, but I’m scared. My mom bought me a razor and cream, but I chickened out at the last second. Now we have all this stuff that reminds me of shaving lying around the house and I feel pressured to start. Dear Razor Phobia, Relax. There’s no hurry on this, and some girls choose not to shave at all. Don’t feel you have to push yourself just because your mom bought a razor. Razors don’t expire or cost a zillion dollars, so while it was nice of her to buy you one, that’s not a reason to feel guilty or cornered. So exhale, OK? If one day you do feel ready, use the cream and gently shave one leg then the other. Maybe in the tub? DRIFTING APART I feel like I’m drifting apart from one of my friends. Whenever we text, it gets awkward quickly. She’s maturing faster than I am, while I’m trying to hang on to my youth. My other friends have had the same problem with her, and I often have to vent to them about it. She also relies on me sometimes to fix her problems. I have no idea what to do about it, and it just adds stress to my life. Dear Drifting Apart, It would be weird if none of us drifted apart, right? While it’s ideal to hang on to your closest friends, near and far, you want to keep making room for new friends, too—which means you can’t keep being the confidante of W everyone you meet along the way. What you ILLIE B. THOMAS/GETTY IMAGES. L IFE
I could tell you what to tell her to tell him. But that’slike playing telephone, where all the messages get garbled. And sometimes go-betweens muddy the waters. She should be asking herself: “Do I want to go out with him? Doesthe prospect make me feel excited orscared or nervous or...nothing? Would I rather juststay friends?” You sound like a great bestie, but in this case, no need for either of usto get over-involved. INSECURE I am bigger than other girls my age breastwise. I have to change in front of other girls for gym, and it gets really uncomfortable. Dear Insecure, Doesit help to know that other girlsfeel uncomfortable, too?Istill remember how excruciatingly awkward I felt asI changed after gym. And as Dear Carol, I assure you that I get lots of letters about breastsize. Some girls wish they were bigger,some smaller. Since you can’t change the size of your breasts, I encourage you to sit up straight and love and appreciate the body you have. These years are tricky, and you’ll feel more confidentsoon. Carol Weston isthe author of 16 books including Girltalk, Speed of Life and Ava and Taco Cat. More at carolweston.com. dumped. He pushed past you and used a swear word. Not ideal but, as you said, you said mean things, too. You’ll all get through this, and an apology may be helpful. Think about it. Just: “I’m sorry. I don’t think I handled things well and I never meant to hurt you.” Then again, distance can help. Any chance you can switch lockers? TREATED DIFFERENTLY One of my church leaders treats me differently. I think it’s because I’m nonbinary. I was playing football with him and some of the boys from church, and he barely passed to me even though I was always wide open (and, just being honest, I’m also the team’s best receiver). Dear Treated Differently, Can you speak directly to the church leader? Say, “I really like playing with our team, but it seems like you don’t pass to me very much even when I’m wide open. Can you give me more of a chance?” It may be hard to change his mindset. And it’s possible that he’s not aware of his actions. But talking to him calmly and without accusation is probably the best first step. I HATE MY LIFE Hi. I hate my life. I hate my family. DearCarol 50 GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 Dear I Hate My Life, Whoa, you’re not mincing words. I hope you don’t always feel this way—and I’m sorry you are feeling so down right now. Is there a teacher or counselor you can talk to? These feelings may come and go, so hang in there. Meantime, what can you do to take care of yourself? Going for walks or runs? Skating or snowboarding? Staying active can lift your spirits and help you meet new people. Can you learn to cook one dish? Plant a garden? Start a sketchbook? Can you volunteer? Or make money by babysitting kids? Can you try to excel in at least one class? Join the chorus or a sport or audition for a play or be part of the theater crew? Listening to audiobooks is also a way to let other people’s stories into your head—and get new perspectives. (Works for me.) And sometimes one good night’s sleep can make things feel better. One more thing. Spring, at long last, is almost here. Days are longer and more colorful. That alone may lift your mood. FRIEND GOT ASKED OUT My friend got asked out by a boy over text. They are good friends, and she doesn’t know what to tell him. He says he will ask her again next weekend. She’s 13, by the way. Dear Friend Got Asked Out, TWO-SIDED FRIEND I have a friend with two sides: one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Side one,she’s my BFF and we get along really well. Side two,she’ssuper mad and calls me a know-it-all, stupid, weird and blames stuff on me that I didn’t do. We’ve been friends since third grade (now in sixth). I don’t want to stop being BFFs, but I don’t want to hang with someone who’s mean. I’ve told her my feelings. She says sorry, but nothing changes. Dear Two-Sided Friend, This is hard. If she truly has a morning and an afternoon personality, I wonder: Is she eating and sleeping enough? Like, isshe starving and exhausted in the afternoon?Ifso, she should start eating a better lunch. No matter what, you’re right to call her out on her behavior. Can you try a note? Say, “Hey, I love you, but I can’t stand when you call me weird or stupid, and I’m not going to keep pretending it doesn’t bother me. It does. I hope you can work harderto be civil, because otherwise I’m not going to hang out with you after school anymore.” Nor should you. And please reach out to other girls. Just because this friend has known you for years doesn’t mean she can disrespect you.
Living your best life all month long? Thanks, Pamprin Multi-Symptom! PROMOTION NO LONGER BLAME ON YOUR PERIOD BEFORE PAMPRIN Skipping self-care Wearing sweats…again Missing a hang with your girls Not asking out your crush Sitting on the sidelines Bringing the bad vibes Can’t make yoga, curled up with a hot pack in bed. No way I’m talking to them, this headache is killing me. Ugh, I feel so bloated, it’s def a sweatpants day. Please, please, PLEASE don’t make me run this mile. My chest is so sore. Sorry guys, I’m just not feeling our park picnic today. Sorry, everything is just getting on my nerves today. PSA: HERE ARE THE 6 THINGS YOU CAN AFTER PAMPRIN Hello, downward dog! Guess what? This dress has pockets! Do you want to grab some boba after this? Oh, you *know* I’m bringing my homemade monster cookies. Yeah, I just set a personal record. Fastest time yet! Aced my history test, set for the sleepover tomorrow and got sushi with Dad for dinner. Pretty much a perfect Friyay. Now that Pamprin Multi-Symptom is here to bust all your PMS pains (peace out bloating, cramps and irritability), we regret to inform you that *these* excuses are no longer valid…
52 GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 ara C., 15, remembers her very first friend crush from third grade: her next-door neighbor Lily. “She was a couple of years olderthan me, and she alwaysseemed so cool and fun,” Sara reminisces. “I hung on to her every word.” Since then, Sara’s had plenty of other friend crushes. Some have come and gone, like the lacrosse captain who always cracked hilarious one-liners on the bus. (“I was a freshman and she was aboutto graduate,so a real friendship never materialized,” she reflects.) Others have stuck around, like her current BFF Maya: “She was new to my school last year and liked the same music and books as me, plus she was into bands I hadn’t even heard of yet,” Sara explains.“Even thoughweweren’t in the same friend group at first, I*had*to make the move to start talking to her—and our bond just kept growing.” CRUSH CRASH COURSE Sara’s not alone—many girls have been smitten by a potential pal at some point. You know the feeling: butterflies in your stomach, nervous jitters whenever you’re around her. Maybe you ransack your closet for the perfect outfit to impress her or check Instagram to see ifshewatched your latest story. Sound familiar? These feelings can be confusing because they’re so similar to what you feel when falling for someone romantically, says therapist Dr. Carol Schwartz. And while you might perk up when you see her walk through the door in homeroom or get psyched when she texts you unexpectedly, friend crushes are more about seeking out a BFF than a bae. “Although there might be a degree of intimacy, often there is no desire to become romantically involved,” says Dr. Schwartz. GIRLS YOU JUST WANNA BE If you’re obsessing over a friend sans the romantic infatuation, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re attracted to your bud—you might just love being around her. Or maybe you just want to be like her. And this isn’t unusual. In fact, having a friend crush isn’t as unexpected as you might think…and it actually can teach you a lot about yourself. “A girl is often attracted to another girl’s style, outlook, sense of humor or intellect,” explains Dr. Schwartz. “With a platonic crush, she often wishes she could emulate that girl.” Whether it’s a TikToker you don’t even know IRL or your bestie since kindergarten, the qualities you admire in a crush may reflect what you’re actually trying to achieve for yourself. Does she have confidence for miles or the ability to command a crowd with one word? If so, those might be skills you want to see in yourself, too. S Here’s why we obsess over certain platonic pals—and why it’s completely cool to be smitten with your sidekick.
GLGOLCFTEOBBREURA| RNYO| VMEAMRBCEHR22002231 5TK3 OLIVER ROSSI/GETTY IMAGES. L IFE Just ask Hannah K., 15. She says the reason she’s into her friend crush is because “she’s so organized and a natural leader.” Rebecca B., 15, says she admires her bestie’s ability to make everyone feel at ease. “She’s that person people really look up to and love a lot.” On the flip side, your infatuation might be your complete opposite (maybe she’s a fiercely free spirit while you’re a total type A), and it’s that difference that sparks the friendship attraction. “It’s not that we necessarily want to be that person, but we want to be like them. If they like us back, we feel those aspirations in us are validated and possible,” notes clinical psychologist Dr. Marilyn Zweifach. GROWTH PATTERN So where do these infatuations stem from? Dr. Zweifach says it’s likely part of our DNA—and these feelings often start in the crib. “We’ve all seen babies light up with huge smiles when their moms come into view. It’s a full body, heart and mindexperience,”says Dr. Zweifach.“That’swhat a ‘crush’ feels like—no matter their gender or how well we know them. As we get older, those feelings become part of how we form our relationships.” Experts note that one benefit of a bestie crush is that it can provide a safe way to experience love, albeit platonic—you’re able to invest emotionally in another person without the fear of being romantically rejected by them. (Plus, healthy friendships allow you to express your truest emotions without any awkward “talking stage” or fear of being cringe.) By exploring these more meaningful relationships with friends, you can feel appreciated, fulfilled and supported, something that can be particularly beneficial during the tumultuousteen years. BEYOND THE CRUSH How do you move past the smitten stage and turn infatuation into an actual friendship? The key is to let your girl crush know you admire her…without stalking her. Let her know you think she’s the greatest (maybe with an invite to your Friday night pizza plans or a sweet text to support her during a big moment)—but also give her personalspace (ifshe’s new to your crew, maybe don’t ask her to hang out every Saturday just yet). And don’t be surprised if that initial burst of infatuation fizzles when you realize she’s just a normal person with her own insecurities and faults. But if you two actually have stuff in common, moving from crush to friendship is pretty seamless and may lead to an all-around amazing relationship. Continued on page 76
The school is real BY KATHLEEN O’NEILL Does that first bell of the day fill you with dread? Turn your classroom worries into wins—and you just might make the hallways your happy place before the year’s out. struggle
GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 55 back in kindergarten when your weekdays consisted of storytime, puppet shows and recess? Fast forward to high school, and you have a whole different picture. Between AP courses, mountains of homework, club meetings and friend drama, it’s no wonder the whole thing can be, well, kind of overwhelming/exhausting/ defeating/all of the above. In fact, researchers from Yale University found that nearly 75% ofstudentsreported negative feelings about high school. The reason? They’re bored,tired and, above all,stressed about their workloads. “Many teens dislike school because of all the pressures they’re facing,” explains Lynsey Westfall, a therapist and former high school counselor. But chances are, if you’re having overall angst about your education, there’s a bigger underlying reason. Consider this your study guide to surviving some common school stressors—and acing your way through the rest of the year. You can’t stand sitting through boring classes. A+ SOLUTION: The biggest key here? Shifting your mindset about school. To be honest, it isn’t always going to be a fun fest—and while you might get psyched about certain subjects, there will inevitably be a few classes that you just can’t stand. For those, take time to prepare and actively pay attention. The material may be more interesting after you’ve done a deep dive and you’re ready to discuss, so spend an extra 15 minutes the night before skimming the next chapter in your textbook and jotting down a list of questions. You can also pair up with your pal who’s a whiz at that subject (after all, flashcards are more fun over Frapps)—her enthusiasm could be the boost you need. And if all else fails? Grab your gel pens and brightest highlighters and focus on taking color-coded notes. Engaging your brain in a creative task will make the time go by quicker (and help you remember the topics, win-win). But if you’re beyond bored in class because you feel like you’re not being challenged, make an appointment to speak to a guidance counselor about leveling up your load. “If your school doesn’t offer Advanced Placement, they may accept credits from an online program,” suggests life coach Leah Veazey. There are often opportunities to take nighttime classes at community colleges, too. You’re the only gal without a go-to friend group. A+ SOLUTION: The easiest fix is to join a class or club that aligns with your interests. A shared passion provides built-in conversation topics(aka the perfect groundsfor a new friendship). “Extracurriculars make it really easy to spend time with potential pals and take the pressure off asking someone to hang out,” says Westfall. If you’ve joined something at school but still haven’t found your squad, try to connect with other teens nearby. A recreational sports team, a church group or 4-H could give you a whole new pool of people to choose from…and something to look forward to at the end of each school day. And remember: Feeling a little lonely is one thing—but bullying is different. If you’re being taunted, singled out or harassed by a classmate, don’t be afraid to let a parent, teacher or guidance counselor know. It’s always better to confide in a trusted adult than allow the problem to escalate. You’re struggling in a certain subject. A+ SOLUTION: Hear us out: Flexing your mind is never a bad thing. “It’s similar to going to the gym. Easy weights aren’t going to get you big muscles,” explains Westfall. “Challenging yourself with hard classes can feel tiring, but it will train your brain to manage difficult situations in the future.” But if the class is causing serious stress, reach out. Teachers are usually more than happy to spend extra time with students who care enough to ask for help. You can also talk to a classmate, an older sibling or a parent about tutoring, either in person or online. Truly in over your head? Meet with your adviser to discuss dropping down a level. There’s no shame in taking a class with a slower pace—especially if your mental health is suffering. You have a conflict with your teacher. A+ SOLUTION: Whether they’re super stingy with the A’s or seem to thrive on giving you negative feedback,the firststep in addressing a sticky teachersitch issome simple introspection. Ask yourself: Have you been trying as hard as you can? Have you been showing respect (think: arriving on time and staying quiet during class)? Can’t figure out a reason for the conflict? Schedule a one-on-one conference to sort out the issue. “Sometimes a student’s dislike for a teacher stems from a miscommunication—and once this is addressed, you can move forward harmoniously,” says Veazey. Still feeling like you’re being singled out even after your chat? Talk to an administrator (like the dean of students) or guidance counselor about your concerns. You feel like you have zero control over your life. A+ SOLUTION: Feeling stuck on a hamster wheel of classes, practices, clubs and more? Prioritize time for yourself—even if it’s just an hourlong time slot before bed to relax with a bath and a good book. And, yes, letting go of one of your extracurriculars is totally valid if you’re feeling too much pressure or missing out on v. important self-care time. Then, investigate ways you can structure your schooling to be more aligned with your current interests and future plans. Look into dual enrollment (where you can take a few college courses of your choice during the day) or find a cool work-study program that’ll allow you to split your time more evenly between classes and hands-on training. Above all, try to accept this one truth: While school may seem chaotic and pointless at times, it’s necessary. And it will move you one giant step closer to the ultimate life goals on your vision board. Besides, summer vacay is just a few short months away... KLAUS VEDFELT/GETTY IMAGES. L IFE Remember
BY KATIE H. M Y J O U R N E Y W I T H O C D
GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 57 I’ve been struggling with this anxiety disorder since I was 4 years old. Here’s my story— and why I’m no longer scared to share it. hen I was in seventh grade, I couldn’t stop worrying I was cheating on tests...even though I knew I wasn’t. In the cafeteria, I’d buy my lunch, then two seconds later, I’d doubt I had paid for it. I had irrational thoughts my fashion choices were bad, so I wore the same T-shirt and jeans every single day. Sometimes I took multiple showers in an attempt to “wash away” the negative thoughtsthat came into my head. These are the kinds of things you do when you have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) like I do. I have a ton of anxiety—bothersome thoughtsI feel like I have to correct in order to be safe. While a lot of kids get worried or anxious and maybe do things like wear a lucky necklace or stick to a strict bedtime routine every night, people with OCD go to the extreme. We do irrational, repetitive things to control our anxiety and to avoid being overwhelmed with worry. If we don’t, we might feel jittery, have mood swings or experience panic attacks. I started to display signs of the disorder when I was 4 years old. I cried all the time but couldn’t explain what was upsetting me. (It was a while ago, butIthink I heard a story aboutsomething bad happening to another kid and I was endlessly worried.) Evenmy parents didn’t understandwhatwaswrong. A doctor diagnosed me with OCD and placed me on a medication that helpsthe chemicalsin my brain transmit at a more normal pace. I also began seeing a therapist, who works with me on facing my fears and helps me figure out ways to fight the urge to do compulsive things. That doesn’tmeanOCDjust goes away,though. For a long time, I tried to hide it from people and hoped my strange behaviors would go unnoticed. Sometimes they did, sometimes they didn’t. I told my close friends it was OCD but didn’t go into much detail. They do their best to help. One gave me a charm to remind me to only buy one water bottle perlunch.Another even wrote a poem about my issues with anxiety. I’m lucky to have their support. When I hear someone say “I’m so OCD” about a little thing, it really bugs me. To say something like that—or to make light of other mental health issues such as depression—trivializes the struggle that so many of us face. These feelings don’t just wear off. They are with me every single day. Due to the treatmentI have received, Ifeel like a pretty normal, upbeatteen…most ofthe time. Istill have some anxiety, and it can occasionally interfere with my life. When I’m scared to do simple things, like eating at a new restaurant, I feel miserable. Because my rituals are less visible now (thanks to the techniques I’ve learned) it can be difficult for my friends and family to tell when my OCD is flaring up. When it does?I call my therapist, whom I trustlike a good friend. She gets me—and is able to guide me through my frustrations and fears. Positive distractions help, too. I am at my best when I totally focus on something else like school, my passion for fashion (I love style writing and blogging) or an awesome night out with my friends. OCD hasn’t stopped me from having fun, but there are those moments when being a normal teen is more of a challenge. Many negative connotations and misconceptions are attached to anxiety disorders. Truth is, millions of people deal with emotional or mental health issues. If you’re one ofthem,there’s no need to be embarrassed or try to hide your worries. Today, I’m not ashamed to share my OCD story. After many years of living with it, I now know there is no on/off switch for anxiety. For me, medication combinedwith therapy isthe righttreatment.Others may fare better with a different approach, but the first step is talking to a trusted adult who can help you understand what’s going on in your head. And if you have a friend who’s struggling? Just be there, make fun plans and never act like their fears are silly. Instead, ask what will help them feel better. There’s a big difference between pity and compassion. Everyone is unique, but I don’t like it when someone just gives me a sad face. I love it when they say, “How can I help?” It’s really that easy. L IFE The National Institute of Mental Health estimates about one in 200 kids and teens in the United States has some form of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Many people have little tics that can feel obsessive (like keeping your room super clean), but most of the time, those are just habits. Concerned? Talk to your doc or counselor. Visit iocdf. org/find-help for resources from the International OCD Foundation. Could I have OCD?
When I decided to do TikTok full time, I was like, I have to just keep being myself,” Spencer says. “If I act fake, I’ll burn out so fast. And that’s when the followers really started to come in.” “ ” Jeans, Revice Denim. Earrings, Adiba. Emoji rings, Maison Miru. Gold ring, BaubleBar. Bikini top and necklace, her own.
GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 59 GET INS P I R E D hree years ago, this was exactly Spencer Barbosa’s life: After years of struggling with bullying, she graduated from high school and took a job blending Blizzards at the Dairy Queen in her tiny hometown of Caledon, Ontario, in Canada. Always one to get creative, she also started a side hustle tie-dyeing T-shirts and sweatshirts to stave off her quarantine boredom. One random afternoon, she began posting on TikTok, opening up about her past struggles with friendships, her body image ups and downs and even creating purposely cringey dances. A couple of weeks went by. Then, out of nowhere, her account blew up. Turns out that speaking up about awkward moments and being honest about the less-than-glam parts of teen-girl life? Exactly what people were looking for. BEFORE HEADING OUT ON HER 2023 WORLD TOUR, SPENCER HAS A THING OR TWO TO TEACH US ABOUT SELF-LOVE. BY KATHE R INE HA M M E R is a whole mood hree years ago, this was exactly Spencer Barbosa’s life: After years of struggling with bullying, she graduated from high school and took a job blending Blizzards at the Dairy Queen in her tiny hometown of Caledon, Ontario, in Canada. Always one to get creative, she also started a side hustle tie-dyeing T-shirts and sweatshirts to stave off her quarantine boredom. One random afternoon, she began posting on TikTok, opening up about her past struggles with friendships, her body image ups and downs and even creatA couple of weeks went by. Then, out of nowhere, her account blew up. Turns out that speaking up about awkward moments and being honest about the less-than-glam parts of teen-girl life? Exactly what people were looking for. HER 2023 , SPENCER HAS A THING OR SELF-LOVE is a whole hree years ago, this was exactly Spencer Barbosa’s life: After years of struggling with bullying, she graduated from high school and took a job blending Blizzards at the Dairy Queen in her tiny hometown of Caledon, Ontario, in Canada. Always one to get creative, she also started a side hustle tie-dyeing T-shirts and sweatshirts to stave off her quarantine boredom. One random afternoon, she began posting on TikTok, opening up about her past struggles with friendships, her body image ups and downs and even creatA couple of weeks went by. Then, out of nowhere, her account blew up. Turns out that speaking up about awkward moments and being honest about the less-than-glam parts of teen-girl life? Exactly what people were looking for. 2023 , SPENCER HAS A THING OR LOVE is a whole GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 59 GET INS P I R E D hree years ago, this was exactly Spencer Barbosa’s life: After years of struggling with bullying, she graduated from high school and took a job blending Blizzards at the Dairy Queen in her tiny hometown of Caledon, Ontario, in Canada. Always one to get creative, she also started a side hustle tie-dyeing T-shirts and sweatshirts to stave off her quarantine boredom. One random afternoon, she began posting on TikTok, opening up about her past struggles with friendships, her body image ups and downs and even creatA couple of weeks went by. Then, out of nowhere, her account blew up. Turns out that speaking up about awkward moments and being honest about the less-than-glam parts of teen-girl life? Exactly what people were looking for. 2023 , SPENCER HAS A THING OR . is a whole
60 GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 “I’m just normalizing being normal—feeling good about yourself, not hating yourself and having a crush on yourself,” Spencer, now 20, shares. And it’s that self-affirming message that has propelled her to serious social media stardom ever since (think: 8 million TikTok followers and counting), taking her from dishing up DQ poutine (look it up) to hosting packed meet-and-greets, collaborating with makeup companies and even starting her own clothing brand. This year, she’ll have the opportunity to fulfill one of her most major dreams: heading out on an internationaltourtomeet hersupportersIRL.“I juststruggled with so many thingsI feel like girlssilently go through,” Spencer remembers. “So if I can be someone’s social media oldersister, why notshare it?” HUMBLE BEGINNINGS Growing up as one of four kids, Spencer has always been ambitious.“Istarted my first business when I was 6 years old,” she says. “I even asked for a vacuum for Christmas to create my own cleaning company.” Over the years, she made birdhouses and headbands and started her own mini thrift store (named Spencer’s Thrift Shop, natch) where she’d flip secondhand clothes and sell them on Instagram. With her big personality and genuine enthusiasm for putting herself out there, Spencer also found herself drawn to performing. In middle school, she’d submittapesfor acting auditions and upload skits and songs to YouTube with her sister. Her moxie paid off, landing her a pretty cool gig—a role in the 2016 to 2018 web series We Are Savvy. But that early success came with some major struggles: the judgment of her “friends” who’d watch her YouTube vids and make fun of her. “School was really hard for me,” Spencer admits. “I had a friend group in my classes, then one day they randomly started a ‘I Hate Spencer’ club. They’d get together and write down reasons they didn’t like me.” When Spencer inevitably uncovered the “reasons,” they stung. “I thought, well, if they think this, why do I even like me? Like, maybe my forehead is really big. Maybe I am cringey. Maybe I am stupid.” As the critical comments from her classmates continued, Spencer became increasingly self-conscious. Soon, she decided that acting and YouTube simply weren’t worth the stress of constantly worrying about what people would say about her. “I felt so ashamed to be myself,” she recalls. “Finally, I just quit acting.” GOING VIRAL After ditching her dream, Spencer focused on, well, just being like everyone else. And that could have been the end of her journey. But then 2020 and TikTok came around. Sure,there were momentsshe worried those mean people from her school might find her account…but her perspective on the sitch had changed. “It was COVID. Like, the world is ending, why should I care what people I went to high school with think about me?” Spencer says about her mindset shift. After one of her self-confidence videos went viral (then another and another), a talent manager reached out. Soon, Spencer booked her first brand deal…and quit her job at Dairy Queen to go all in on TikTok. BUILDING SOMETHING BIGGER Spencer’s experience of feeling like an outcast has shaped the kind of influencer she wants to be. “I just want anyone who follows me to feel seen and not feel weird,” she explains. “I try to post about things other people don’t post about. Like when I wasin high school and I had hairy arms and guys in my classes were like, ‘Your arms are hairy, why don’t you shave them?’ I want people to watch my videos and see me acknowledging and celebrating my body—and learning to do the same for themselves, too.” And her passion for customizing comfy clothes has morphed into, well, Something Bigger. That’s her line of hoodies, tees and more, sporting phrases straight from Spencer: “Treat yourself like someone you love.” To her, the inspirational message is personal. “I’m my biggest bully, my biggest hater,” Spencer admits. “Butthose rude thingsIsay tomyself?Iwould neversay them to my friends. Self-love is talking to yourself with compassion, accepting that you’re not going to feel your best every single day and justlearning from that.” Yep, it’s true…even the self-love influencer struggles with living thattruth. But what Spencer’srealized is that self-love doesn’t mean feeling 100% amazing at every single moment. It means living authentically and honestly—even through the bad days—and being kind to yourself through it all. Almost a billion views later, TikTok’s taught Spencer that real confidence isn’t about how many people heart you or how many followers you have. It’s about staying true to who you are, owning your ambitions (even when you feel a little cringey) and being the one to hype yourself up. Because it’s nevertoo late to turn into the most authentic version of yourself. School was really hard for me,” Spencer admits. “I had a friend group in my classes, then one day they randomly started a ‘I Hate Spencer’ club. They’d get together and write down reasons they didn’t like me. “ ” MARCH 2023 “I’m just normalizing being normal—feeling good about yourself, not hating yourself and having a crush on yourself,” Spencer, now 20, shares. And it’s that self-affirming message that has propelled her to serious social media stardom ever since (think: 8 million TikTok followers and counting), taking her from dishing up DQ poutine (look it up) to hosting packed meet-and-greets, collaborating with makeup companies and even starting her own clothing brand. This year, she’ll have the opportunity to fulfill one of her most major dreams: heading out on an internationaltourtomeet hersupportersIRL.“I juststruggled with so many thingsI feel like girlssilently go through,” Spencer remembers. “So if I can be someone’s social media oldersister, why notshare it?” HUMBLE BEGINNINGS Growing up as one of four kids, Spencer has always been ambitious.“Istarted my first business when I was 6 years old,” she says. “I even asked for a vacuum for Christmas to create my own cleaning company.” Over the years, she made birdhouses and headbands and started her own mini thrift store (named Spencer’s Thrift Shop, natch) where she’d flip secondhand clothes and sell them on Instagram. With her big personality and genuine enthusiasm for putting herself out there, Spencer also found herself drawn to performing. In middle school, she’d submittapesfor acting auditions and upload skits and songs to YouTube with her sister. Her moxie paid off, landing her a pretty cool gig—a role in the 2016 to 2018 web series that early success came with some major struggles: the judgment of her “friends” who’d watch her YouTube vids and make fun of her. “School was really hard for me,” Spencer admits. “I had a friend group in my classes, then one day they randomly started a ‘I Hate Spencer’ club. They’d get together and write down reasons they didn’t like me.” When Spencer inevitably uncovered the “reasons,” they stung. “I thought, well, if they think this, why do I even like me? Like, maybe my forehead is really big. Maybe I am cringey. Maybe I am stupid.” As the critical comments from her classmates continued, Spencer became increasingly self-conscious. School was really hard for me,” Spencer admits. “I had a friend group in my classes, then one day they randomly started a ‘I Hate Spencer’ club. They’d get together and write down reasons they didn’t like me. 60 GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 School was really hard for me,” Spencer admits. “I had a friend group in my classes, then one day they randomly started a ‘I Hate Spencer’ club. They’d get together and write down reasons they didn’t like me. “ ”
STYLED BY LO VONRUMPF. HAIR BY GEORGE FRAGKIOUDAKIS. MAKEUP BY SOPHIA HUTCH.
Forget the quest for an all-new you—this year is all about the *true* you. Starting now... S T E P I N T O Y O U R
GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 63 GET INS P I R E D TAKE CHARGE Here’s your chance to do that one thing you’ve been dreaming about,well,forever. Whether it’s landing an awesome internship or self-publishing the novel you’ve been polishing, it’s up to *you* to act. Seek out people who’ve paved the way for whatever you want to do by Googling, talking with teachers or asking family friends how they got to where they are. Sure, it can be daunting (So. Much. Info.), but push through the second-guessing. Then, get out there and go for it. STICK WITH YOUR GOALS And while you’re going for it, know that not everything’s going to go your way. But if a door closes on you, who’s to say you can’t bust right through it? This year, leap over hurdles by staying focused on the big picture. Struggling in biology? Don’t nix your med school dreams or vent to your bestie about how unfair Mrs. T is. Instead, set up a meeting with your teacher to talk about your goals—and let her know you really want to improve. Bottom line? Whatever problem you face, all it takes is knowing when to ask for help. RETHINK REZZIES Let’s be real: A total overhaul is totally overwhelming. Instead, start small. Want to get organized? Straighten your desk before bed, tidy up your Google Drive, put your laundry away every Sunday without fail. Want to boost your grades? Think about what’s working in your best classes (hello, not cramming), then apply those techniquesto everything else. Easy peasy. BE HONEST Tuesday afternoons mean matcha with your girls, and Fridays are for watching basketball with your BGF. While it’s awesome to be there for your crew, don’t always sacrifice your own priorities just to please your pals, says psychologist Dr. Scyatta Wallace. Not psyched about another Warriors game? Invite your bud to catch a movie you’ve been dying to see instead or make fun plansfor another night. Speaking up will earn you respect from others—and you’ll be able to do what you really want with your preciousspare time. GROW YOUR GROUP So you just decided to dedicate more minutesto your music. Rad. Why notseek some friends who feel the same? “Having different groupsreveals differentsides of yourself. That means you can bond with certain people over certain commonalities,” says teen life coach Melissa Kahn. Keep your besties (obviously), but don’t be afraid to branch out with any new buds you meet in clubs or classes. It’s fine if they’re different from your core lunch table squad—having besties with varied interests will bring balance to your life. DIG DEEP When you’re busy,relaxing isthe lastthing on your list. But getting those swirling thoughts out of your head and onto paper can help you chill *and* prioritize. Grab a notebook and your fave gel pen and start writing whatever’s on your mind. Then, read between the lines: Maybe you’re constantly penning entries about how much you hate ballet or how you really heart working the lights for the drama club. If you’re seeing a recurring pattern about things you love (or those that are really bugging you), take it as a cue for where you should be focusing your energy. TRUST YOUR GUT You’ve got the opportunity to spend a month in Europe this summer as part of an exchange program. But that means you’ll have to skip the camp you’ve been attending since you were 7. What to do? Instead of asking for input from everyone from your girls to your grandma, try to hash out big decisions on your own. Learning to listen to your gut not only helps you figure out what *you* really value, you’ll refine your problem-solving skills, too. TUNE OUT THE NEGATIVITY After sharing your plans to run for class VP next year, your cousin coldly states that you’re way too shy to be a school leader. Ouch! Before letting her words get stored in your brain, step back and think: “Is there truth to this or is this just the voice of a person who has a negative outlook?” advises Kahn. Odds are, someone said the same thing to her once. (Read: It has nothing to do with you.) The real question is, why not dream big? GO SOLO The secret to knowing yourself? Have some me, myself and I time, says Dr. Wallace. During any quiet moments, put down your phone and let yourself naturally gravitate to things you love, whether that’s drawing, knitting or reading historical fiction. Then, whenever you land on the rare lazy afternoon, work on growing one of those hobbies instead of going down a TikTok rabbit hole. QUIT OBSESSING OVER “FLAWS” So you flubbed a few words during your Greek mythology speech. Stop stressing. Everyone has downturns, whether it’s botching a big presentation or missing the game-winning shot. Dr. Wallace suggests pinpointing what went wrong and exploring how to avoid it in the future (try extra free-throw practice!). And if you’re still beating yourself up? “Focus on something positive about yourself and the negative thoughts will leave your mind,” she says. That way, the slip-up stays in the past, and you’ll soar to success the next time around. SHARE THE *REAL* YOU Time to stop crafting a so-called “perfect” social media persona. Yes, we love amazing pics as much as the next girl, but please just have fun for once without worrying about who’s going to like, comment or share it (which, as we all know, wreaks havoc on your self-esteem). When people get to know the real you on social media, you’ll be more able to be yourself IRL. BE A FREE SPIRIT Let’s face it: Finding yourself can make you feel, well, a little lost. “That’s actually a good sign,”reveals Dr. Wallace,“because you’re notreally lost, you’re exploring.” So take the plunge and test out new things. “You’ll figure out what you like and don’t like,” she says. Chart your path, get comfy and enjoy the ride, babe. You started January hoping for a reset (Straight A’s! Stacked extracurriculars! Spectacularly clean room!) and, unsurprisingly, real life (aka tons of HW, last-minute friend hangouts and, yeah, that mountain of dirty laundry) got in the way. But with a refreshed attitude, that tiny post-resolution slump doesn’t have to last the entirety of 2023. It’s time to lean into your most genuine energy and accomplish your greatest goals…your way. MASKOT/GETTY IMAGES.
64 GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 SENTIMENTAL SIS From major milestones (leading their field hockey team to state champs) to minor wins (finding the courage to apply for that internship), you’re always onboard for celebrating your girls. But here’s the thing: It’s just as important to hype up your own accomplishments. And your crew will love cheering you on, even for the small stuff. MOSTLY A’s BY LENA GENOVESE JUST IN TIME FOR GALENTINE’S, WE’RE BREAKING DOWN HOW YOU BFF. B ESTIE VI B E BIG-HEARTED BESTIE While you may not be the gushiest girl in your group, you’ve got a seriously soft spot for your squad. And while voicing your feelings might be a scary step forward, challenging yourself to spread the love with some verbal affirmations is very much worth it. After all, your besties will never get tired of hearing how much you heart them. MOSTLY B’s Red-wrapped Hershey’s chocolates for every member of your lunch crew? Check. Handwritten cards addressed to each of your BFFs? Signed and sealed with a kiss (and some serious glitter glue). Sprinkle cupcakes for everyone in your dance class? Baked ’em last night. It’s official: Love is in the air—and you’re all about seeing the world through heart-shaped sunnies. If you’ve ever wondered what you bring to your bestie bonds, look no further, bb: Answer these Q’s to see just how you shine in your squad. 1. Which sweet text would you send to the group chat? A. “Look what pic just popped up in my memories!” B. “Sunday walks aren’t the same without you guys…” C. “Hope everyone has the best week ever. You got this!” D. “Heard thissong on Spotify today and it’ssooo us.” 2. After weeks of auditions, your bestie justlanded the lead in the spring play. How are you celebrating? A. With a heartfelt Insta story and a congratulatory phone convo. You’ll be sitting in the front row on opening night. B. By decking out her locker with balloons and streamers. Going all out for your girls is just your signature style. C. With her favorite brown sugar boba. Running lines is *so* much better with something sweet in hand. D. By treating her to takeout. You can discuss the exciting deets (and potential stage kiss) over pad thai. 3. Which Saturday night sleepovertradition is a mustfor you and yoursquad? A. Recapping the week. You text a ton, but *nothing* beats hearing the IRL version of your bestie’s cafeteria blunder. B. Watching the latest episode of your current Netflix obsession. You could catch up solo, but a viewing party with your pals? Way more fun. C. Having heart-to-hearts about everything from sister sitches to tennis team drama (with a batch of blondies baking in the oven). D. Scrolling through your TikTok likes together. Tbh, you’ve been dying to see your crew’s reaction to that hilarious hedgehog video. 4. Your bestie’s longtime crush *finally* asked her to the winter formal (yes!). Your move? A. Asking her crush’s BFF to the fling as friends. This way, you can double date and dance the night away. B. Creating a Pinterest board of potential beauty vibes. This is the perfect opportunity to master the Barbie ponytail. C. Listening to her gush about how he popped the Q. And E V E R Y O N E H A S A W H AT ’ S Y O U R S ?
GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 65 yes, you really *do* want to hear every last detail about their math class meet-cute. D. Searching your closet for those fab heels you thrifted last month. You know her style—and these pumps were practically made for your pal. 5. If you and your squad could jet-set anywhere in the world for a besties-only vacay, where would you go? A. Paris. Checking out museums, eating crepes and strolling along the Seine sounds like a dream come true, non? B. Tulum. Exploring all day (and snapping some seriously stunning beach pics) is your kind of amazing adventure. C. London. You + your girls + a hidden bookstore-slash-tea shop = pure heaven. D. Tokyo. No plan? No problem. Getting lost in the bright lights of a brand new city is very much your vibe. Plus, hello, cat cafés! 6. Which iconic bestie duo do you and your bestie most relate to? A. Miley and Lilly from Hannah Montana. No matter the moment, nothing could stand in the way of you cheering on your day one chick. B. Riley and Maya from Girl Meets World. You can’t help but love their hilarious banter—and underneath it all is a rideor-die relationship. C. Rory and Lane from Gilmore Girls. You’re low-key like Lane, but when you’re with your girls, your sense of humor comes out. D. Jess and Cece from New Girl. Despite your very different personalities, you and your BFF just click. 7. Quick! Pick the prezzie you’d surprise your bestie with: A. Your latest BookTok binge. She hearts second-chance romances as much as you do. B. A green juice. It’s the perfect pick-me-up before her firstperiod French presentation. C. A bouquet of her fave blooms. You passed a flower shop and she loves tulips. D. The OG Lip Smackers you used to wear when you were little. Is there anything better than that cotton candy gloss? 8. And, if you *had* to choose, your favorite way to celebrate Galentine’s szn is by… A. Hosting an old-school slumber party. DIY spa supplies, rom-coms, matching PJs…the essentials, ya know? B. Treating your girls to a Chickfil-A run (yes, you even know their orders by heart). C. Watching your way through your Disney+ queue with your squad. Laid-back perfection. D. Handing out cartoon character cards with heart-shaped lollipops. You can’t go wrong with a classic. CARING CONFIDANT The sweetest girl in your squad, you keep your BFF’s secrets underlockandkey (likehowshestillsleepswithher childhood teddy bear, Mr. Buttons. No judgment). Being everyone’s go-to gal is great, but remember to put yourself first sometimes,too.Bcwhen you take the time to recharge your bestie battery? Your bonds will be that much stronger. GO-WITH-THE-FLOW GAL Your down-for-whatever vibe makes you a key member of any crew. You love leaning into your friends’ interests, but prioritizing your own passions is equally important. Whether it’s recommending the next book club read or simply stating that you’d rather grab matcha than macchiatos, know that it’sOK to go againstthe crowd. Your BFFswill have your back. MOSTLY C’s MOSTLY D’s GET INS P I R E D
THESE SIMPLE GESTURES ARE EVEN BETTER THAN CANDY HEARTS. WESTEND61/GETTY IMAGES.
GET INS P I R E D Sitting around waiting for candy grams is so last year. Take charge of the season’s sweetest day by showing the special people in your life just how much they matter to you. From your bestie to your babysitting charges, we’ve come up with creative ways to open your heart. So brush off your bow and draw an arrow— it’s time to play Cupid. y Your gang of girlfriends y Pack your bag with rolls of pink and red paper and ribbon, then book it to school early on Valentine’s. Wrap your buds’ lockers and decorate with their favorite things: Hershey’s Hugs and Kisses, T-Swift song lyrics and construction paper conversation hearts. y A brokenhear ted BFF y Whether she was cut from the team or recently dismissed by her dream date, your pal’s present = quality time together. Grab a pair of mochas and a couple hydrating masks, then head to her house to give her your full attention. y The new girl y There’s no such thing astoo many friends,so invite herto sit with you atlunch, partner up in gym class or come over after school. She might not become your new bestie, but a friendly face in the hallsis one ofthe best gifts of all. y The friend you’re *kinda* crushing on y DIY a V-Day card, pack it with legit compliments, sign your name then slip it into their locker. After all, a solid friendship is the first step to romance—so why not take the leap? y Behind-the-scenes heroes y Go beyond a courtesy thank you when the lunch lady offers up a slice or the maintenance worker fixes that blinking bulb in the hallway. Pick a moment during downtime—theirs, not yours—to tell them how much you appreciate what they do for you on a daily basis. Bonus? Expressing gratitude is proven to make you feel good, too. y Your lab par tner y Show your fellow bio brainiac how much you value your Bunsen burner bond by wrapping their favorite candy in colorful cellophane. Tie it up with ribbon, attach a witty note about their amazing knack for knowledge and leave it on their desk. y Your homeroom y OK, yeah, you aren’t in kindergarten anymore...but remember how awesome Valentine’s was back then? Kick it old school this year by bringing in a classroom treat everyone can enjoy. Head to girlslife.com/iti for some v. yummy (and v. aesthetic) recipes. y Your little sibling y Even when they’re at their most bratty, your little sib admires your every move—so treat the squirt to one of your most treasured possessions, like a book or stuffed animal. They’ll love the fact that you’re offering up something so special and will see you as a cooler sis (as if that’s even possible). y Your parents y Ask Mom or Dad to show you how to do something they dread, like ironing or making coffee. Then, wake up 15 minutes earlier than usual and surprise them with a freshly steamed shirt—and a steaming latte. Psst: Try to keep the tradition going at least once a week for bonus points. y The tots you sit for just about every Saturday night y Pick out a cutesy card featuring their favorite characters and send it to their house. The kids will get a kick out of the justfor-them mail, and their parents will love that you went out of your way to put a smile on their sweeties’ faces. y Your favorite (fill in the blank) y The stylist who saved you when you did your own (not-sobang-up) DIY bang trim? The vegan bakery that makes the best red velvet cupcakes ever? Rave about it! Many businesses *stay* in business these days thanks to great reviews on social media. Post your most sincere praise—the kind words will be appreciated by them (and others!), guaranteed. y Everyone you know y Make a point of doling out a sincere compliment every day. Tell your teacher you love her sweater. Mention to the math whiz in your geometry class that you wish you were as good as she is at proofs. And cheer on the cheer squad before they head off to their big competition. Good vibes all around! y Anyone else y You don’t have to plaster a smile on your face 24/7, but having a good attitude when you’re out in the world (especially in a stressful situation) can make everyone’s day a little better. Someone is struggling to carry their six grocery bags and push a stroller? Open the door. So it’s taking forever for the guy behind the counter to chop your salad? Deep breaths. Sometimes, doing a micro act of kindness (or just letting a slight annoyance pass) can really bring the sunshine. y The world y Set aside a few dollars each week to go toward a cause that speaks to your heart (go to girlslife.com/iti for some thought-starters). No allowance in sight? Spend some time volunteering instead. You’ll help out people (or pets!) who are truly in need, and you’ll get a boost in the process. And what’s not to love about that?
you need rn BY SARAH WASSNER FLYNN 68 GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 Your winter wellness routine just got a major glow-up. JORDI SALAS/GETTY IMAGES. *This* is the
GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 69 HEALTH Step out of your cold-weather slump with these 8 instant energy boosters. You’ll be bouncing out of bed in no time, trust. • UPGRADE #1 • FUEL UP. Between the SGA meeting and study hall, you’ve only got 15 minutes to eat—so you grab a Pop-Tart and cheese curls from the vending machine and call it lunch. Bad news: Scarfing down that stuff is a surefire way to zap your zing. Why? Foods made with refined carbohydrates (think: white bread, candy, cookies) quickly break down in your system, sending your blood sugar spiking. That gives you an artificial high...only causing you to crash just a few hours later. A BETTER BOOST: When it comes to keeping your energy levels lifted, whole foods and protein are where it’s at. Try a PB&J with seven-grain bread or a power salad with leafy greens, grilled chicken, cheese, hard-boiled eggs and veggies. • UPGRADE #2 • GET ON YOUR FEET. Whether you’re stuck in science class or crashed on the couch for a Netflix binge, you spend a ton of time sitting. Studies say all of this sedentary living is totally taxing on our energy stores. A BETTER BOOST: Just get up and go! Instead of beelining itto your next classso you have time to check IG before the bell, take an extra lap around the hallway to stretch those legs. Your goal? Be on your feet for at least two minutes every hour. And if you’ve got a little time to spare, hit the pavement. A quick 20-minute walk or run in the fresh air gives you an instantlift, and the resulting mood-boosting endorphins last all day. • UPGRADE #3 • EXERCISE RIGHT. You probably know that exercise equals energy (if not, see above). But this is only true if you hit that sweet spot between working out constantly and not at all. Spending too much time sweating it out can actually break you down, making you extra tired and more susceptible to colds and injuries. A BETTER BOOST: Listen to your body. If you’re super sore or feeling run-down, take it easy. That’s not to say you should skip your workout altogether, but you can always modify it to make it work for you. Walk a couple of miles around your neighborhood or do a shortspin on a stationary bike. You’ll still get the energy benefits without the damaging effects. • UPGRADE #4 • CUT OUT CAFFEINE. You’ve got a wicked case of the afternoon slumps and that mocha is calling your name. Thing is, you already had a cold brew in the a.m.—but a little more caffeine can’t hurt, right? Actually, it can. Experts suggest limiting caffeine to 100 mg a day—about the same amount as you’ll find in one cup of coffee. Too much caffeine can wreak havoc on your sleep cycles, leading you to be tired allthe time. A BETTER BOOST: Opt for H2O instead. Study afterstudy showsthat water isreally the only drink that naturally (and healthily) gives you energy. Guzzling at least four tall glasses of water daily will keep you on your toes. Absolutely craving a cup of coffee? Decaf is an OK option as long as you’re not dumping sugar into your mug. (Just make sure you sip it well before 4 p.m.—even a trace of caffeine in your system after that can keep you up at night.) • UPGRADE #5 • SOAK UP SOME VITAMIN D. Long winter days stuck inside dimly lit classrooms can definitely be draining. A lack of exposure to natural light means you may not be getting enough vitamin D, which can lower your serotonin levels (the hormone that naturally boosts your mood and energy). A BETTER BOOST: Find the light! Try to get just 10 minutes of sun a day. (Oh, and yep, even when it’s cold, always wear SPF.) Can’t get outside enough? Talk to your doctor about taking a vitamin D supplement. In the meantime, drinking fortified milk (we like Fairlife Ultra-Filtered Milk) and eating vitamin D-rich foods like salmon, eggs and cheese can help fight off fatigue. • UPGRADE #6 • STRESS LESS. You’ve gotthat 10-page lit paperto write, a math quiz to study for and six batches of peppermint brownies to whip up for tomorrow’s bake sale. And all you want to do is lie on the couch and scroll. We feel you: Itseemslike the more you’ve got piled on your plate, the less motivation there is to tackle it all. Stress can lead to lethargy because it releases a hormone called cortisol, which affects everything from your concentration to your mood. A BETTER BOOST: Take control of what you can. Look at your mile-long task list and figure out what’s doable now—and do just that. Or write down what’s stressing you out, which allows your brain to “file it away”forthe momentso you can move on. • UPGRADE #7 • HAVE FUN. Here’s a reason to smile: When you’re having a blast or even trying something new, your brain releases dopamine, a reward chemicalthat makes you feel happier. But when you’re down-and-out? Your energy levels plummet. A BETTER BOOST: Next time you’re feeling sluggish, seek some serious oomph: Call your bestie, throw the Frisbee with your pup, play Barbies with your little sis. Or write down a few notes about a big goal you want to go for. Always wanted to run a 10K or sell your DIY headbands on Etsy? The time is now. Gearing up for a new-to-you activity can amp your energy levels across the board. • UPGRADE #8 • PUT YOURSELF FIRST (finally!). We adore you generous girls who do just about anything for your friends and fam. Waking up extra early to feed your neighbors’ fish while they’re on vacay? Check. Sticking around after track practice to put equipment away for Coach? Every day. Texting late into the night when your bestie has a major dilemma (doesshe take that amazing internship even though she’d rather go to band camp)? Yup, no wonder you’re always tired. A BETTER BOOST: If your people-pleasing is turning you into a walking zombie, it’s time to pay some attention to you. Evaluate how you spend your day—and try to dedicate atleast a few hoursto *your* priorities. This may mean saying “no” more, which isn’t always easy. But trust us, you’ll be a peppier (and dare we say happier) person because of it.
R aise your hand ifthisfeelsfamiliar: You’re reviewing your notes for tomorrow’s chemistry test and, without even realizing it, your breathing becomes fast, shallow and ragged. Next thing you know, you feel frazzled, frantic and unable to focus. What just happened? Shallow breathing is a natural response to stress. Also called fight-or-flight mode, your brain processes emotional turmoil (like feeling overwhelmed by a big test) and turnsitinto a physical experience of panic. Andwhile you can’t always control your reactions to tough sitches, you *do* have the power to recognize when things are out of whack—and take steps to quickly calm your body and mind. How? It’s all about being mindful of your breathing. BACK TO THE BREATH Why is learning how to do breathwork such a handy tool? When you’re anxious, controlled breathing lets you tap into your parasympathetic nervous system, which puts you into a relaxed state. And unlike yoga or meditation, you can do breathwork any time—while you’re sitting in class waiting for a history test to land on your desk (aka not a moment to bust out your mat) or while you’re riding the team bus to your lacrosse tourney (because it’s hard to visualize when 30 people are talking at once). “Our bodies have this incredible, built-in, self-care tool that is always with us,” says Ashley Neese, author of How to Breathe: 25 Simple Practices for Calm, Joy, and Resilience. “All that is required for us to access it is practice and consistency.” And given how crazy everyone’s lives are again,we need mindful breathing more than ever. Bouncing from school to sports to bottomless piles of homework can leave you feeling stressed out and exhausted pretty much allthe time. But employing regular breathwork can help you regain mental clarity and control over your body, says Lisa McNeil, a massage therapist for professional athletes. BREATHING BASICS Noticing the difference in your breath when you’re stressed is the first step. Then, focus on your exhale. It often feels easier to take in a deep, cleansing inhale, but all you’re doing is taking in oxygen. “The exhale is when all the good stuff happens,” says McNeil. “The exhale is when you actually start the oxygenation of tissue and rid your body of toxins and carbon dioxide,” she notes. Not only does the process promote a sense of calmness, but it can also boost your immune system (bye, winter colds) and help you think more clearly since you’re getting more oxygen to your brain. Ready to slow down stress? Here are five waysto practice better breathing IRL. BY POPPY PRICE 70 GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023
GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 71 HEALTH HOW TO BREATHE WHEN… YOU’RE FUMING OVER A FRIEND FIGHT • Shift from mad to mindful with this three-minute practice. Standwith yourfeet hip-distance apart. Set an intention for your practice, like “I intend to be kind, even under pressure.” Take long breaths in through your nose. Exhale quickly through your mouth. Repeat this for three rounds. Then, place one of your hands on your stomach. Inhale deeply, then exhale gently through your nose. As you breathe, bring your full attention to your hand, observing the natural rise and fall of your belly. Repeat this for two full minutes. Afterward, note any changes you experienced in your journal. YOU’RE TOSSING AND TURNING IN BED • When you can’t quiet your mind, deep breaths help you slip into a sleepy state. Make yourself comfy. Set your intention, such as “I’m going to rest and reset.” Begin breathing in and out through your nose slowly for a few rounds. At the bottom of your exhale, pause for three to four counts. Inhale, repeating until you fall asleep. YOU’RE ABOUT TO PLAY IN THE BASKETBALL CHAMPIONSHIP • Take a few minutes to calm your mind before hitting the court with the 4-7-8 breath. Inhale through your nose for a count of four. Hold your breath for a count of seven. Exhale through your mouth for a count of eight. Repeat this for five rounds. YOU’RE HEADING TO AUDITIONS FOR THE SPRING MUSICAL • A grounding breath can anchor you in the present while nixing those nerves. Take a moment to settle into a chair with your feet flat on the floor. Set your practice intention, such as “I intend to do my best.” Inhale and exhale gently through your nose for five cycles. With a slow inhale, imagine drawing up energy from the earth into the soles of your feet, up to your knees and back toward your hips. On the exhale, imagine the energy flowing from your hips to your knees, and then back down through the soles of your feet to the earth. Continue the cycle for five minutes. Allowyour breath to settle into a regular pattern. Sit for one more minute. YOU’RE ANXIOUSLY AWAITING YOUR FRENCH TEST RESULTS • You can’t do much about your grade now (c’est la vie)—but you *can* control your nervousness. While seated, bring your right hand in front of your face. Bring your index and middle fingers to rest between your brows as an anchor. The active fingers will be the thumb and ring finger. Inhale deeply through your nose. With your thumb, close your right nostril and exhale through the left nostril. Keeping the right nostril closed, inhale through the left nostril. Open your right nostril while closing your left nostril with your ring finger and exhale through the right nostril. Inhale through the right nostril while the left nostril remains closed with your ring finger. Release the ring finger from your left nostril while closing the right nostril and exhale. These two full breaths count as one cycle. Repeat for five cycles. 3 ways to level up your breathwork practice TWICE A DAY, TAKE A BREATHER. Focus on your breath for five to seven minutes before getting out of bed in the morning, then for another five to seven minutes right after you turn out the lights at night (yep, that includes powering down your phone), suggests McNeil. Breathwork is something you can also do easily for a few moments on the way to school or while sitting in class. SET AN INTENTION. Stating a mini mantra before you start, like “I intend to keep an open mind,” or “I intend to trust my feelings,” can set the tone for your breathwork routine and keep you connected to the reasons why you’re practicing. TRY JOURNALING. Have a couple extra moments at the end of your breathwork practice? Journaling can be a helpful way to further crystallize your intention—and bring your mind and body into connection. x2 Just breathe: It seems like the simplest thing in the world. And in fact, it is. Focusing on your breath is the easiest way to shift your state from total overwhelm to inner calm. Here’s how….
72 * T H I S * I S H OW BY LENA GENOVESE AND KATHLEEN O’NEILL Hit snooze. The best part about snow days? Guilt-free sleep-ins. Turn on your twinkle lights, grab your fluffiest blanket and drift back into dreamland. Tackle your TBR list. Toasty fire in the fireplace? Check (thanks, Dad). Cup of cocoa? Check. All that’s left to do is cuddle up with a wintry page-turner. Go for a retro game sesh. Chances are you’ve got an old console or PC hanging around,so grab yoursibsfor a vintage video game marathon of instant classicslike Mario Kart, Dream Life and The Sims. Cook up some comfort food. Grilled cheese and tomato soup is a classsic, but why not whip up a snow-day casserole? Chicken enchiladas or veggie pot pie for the win. DIY a stitch craft. Whether you go for a simple scarf or level up with a beanie, crocheting is the ultimate cozy activity. Check out Bella Coco on YouTube for easyto-follow tutorials. Create a comfy haven. Settle in for the night by transforming your living room into a snuggly sanctuary. Blow up a queen-sized air mattress, then pile it high with all the throw pillows and blankets you can find. Reminisce over nostalgic movies. End the day with old family vids. Pull out those clips Mom took of you sledding in second grade and relive the memories with your OG crew. Salute the sun. Kick-start your morning with a mood-boosting flow. From beginner workouts to core conditioning, YouTube’s Yoga With Adriene is your go-to girl. Nourish your bod. The magic recipe for staying motivated = fueling up within an hour of waking. Make cinnamon roll baked oats (we heart Liz Fourez’s step-by-step, get it at lovegrowswild.com) or a yogurt parfait with homemade granola. Prep your planner. Round up your fave felt-tipped pens and take note of any tests or quizzes on your radar. Even if you aren’t psyched for next month’s math midterm, your future self willthank you for planning ahead. Hone a hobby. Whether you’re picking up an instrument or downloading Duolingo to learn a new language, today is the perf opportunity to dive into a passion project. Annotate your latest romance read, knit a new scarf or simply sketch the snowscape in your backyard. Pop open a puzzle. It’s time to tackle the 500-piece jigsaw you scored at last year’s family gift swap. With your little bro by your side, you’ll have the border pieces in place by dinner. De-stress before bed. To guarantee a good night’s sleep, take a minute or two to jot down whatever’s on your mind. And when the pen reaches the bottom of the page? Sweet dreams, bb. CURL UP GET AHEAD TODAY I WANT TO… TODAY I WANT TO… TOP LEFT: INSTAGRAM.COM/PERUSEPROJECT, TOP RIGHT: INSTAGRAM.COM/_CELI_STUDIES. @peruseproject @_celi_studies It’s the best 5 a.m. text ever: Classes are canceled (woo!). Now a winter wonderland awaits. How to spend your 24-hour vacay? Pick your vibe, because we’ve stacked your cal…
Y O U S N OW D AY Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Starting your day with antioxidants is a must. Steep lemon slices, mint leaves and fresh ginger in hot water for five minutes. Enjoy in your most-loved mug. Run a bath. Grab Epsom salts and your fluffiest towel because it’s time to take a soak. Set the scene with your essential oil diffuser (lavender = a must for relaxing) and enjoy some well-deserved downtime. Blow out your hair. Divide freshly washed and towel-dried hair into sections. Grab your blow-dryer and a barrel brush. Working back to front, carefully wrap each section around the brush and hit it with medium heat. Lift the brush up and out. Your salon-worthy slay will last all week, beauty. Get crafty. Soy wax + essential oils + silicone molds = the dreamiest room décor. For all your candle-making Q’s, head over to girlslife.com/iti. IRL your Insta. Grab an empty photo album and fill with pics of you and your pals. This old-school activity is the perfect way to preserve happy mems and keep all your sweetest snaps in one place. Wind it down. Sit cross-legged and allow your breath to fall into its natural rhythm. If your mind starts to wander, no worries— simply bring your focus back to breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Now repeat. Ahh… Spread good energy. Yes, you can enjoy the snow *and* make someone’s day at the same time. Surprise your parents (or your elderly neighbor) by shoveling the driveway. Craft some snow art. Combine 2 cups water, 2 tablespoons cornstarch and a few drops of food coloring. Pour the mixture into an empty spray bottle, then take it outside and spritz on the snow to paint your own tie-dye creations. Style a snowman. Break into teams and bring out a box of scarves, mittens and sweaters to accessorize—then use the poll feature on your Insta story to have your followers select a top model. Glow up your ’gram. Pack your Polaroid and head out for an afternoon of snapping whimsical pics. Bonus points if you grab a sledding action shot. Get your game on. Snowball fights are *so* last year. Challenge your besties to an icy obstacle course: Crawl through hula hoops, sled down the hill and make a snow angel. Take a snow walk. Still flurrying? Grab a flashlight and set out on a late-night hike around the neighborhood with your girls. Build a bonfire. We say yes to a snowy outdoor fire pit. Hang up string lights, then bundle up and bring out lawn chairs for some serious squad bonding time. S’mores are most definitely necessary. CHILL OUT GO OUTSIDE TODAY I WANT TO… TODAY I WANT TO… TOP LEFT: INSTAGRAM.COM/LILYLIKECOM, TOP RIGHT: INSTAGRAM.COM/CELINAELA. @lilylikecom @celinaela M AK E IT CUTE
BY EVA MANDELBAUM, 16, AS TOLD TO KATHERINE HAMMER CLEANING YOUR ROOM THE SENTIMENTAL GIRL’S GUIDE TO “My life was a mess…but I could clean my room.” That iconic quote from Lara Jean Covey (To All The Boys) spoke to me, a fellow romantic, as I entered the summer before freshman year of high school. Nearly overnight, it seemed like all of my friends were FaceTiming me to give tours of their brand new bedrooms. Then there was me. I’d lived in my bedroom since I was a baby…and it showed. I felt attached to the memories of everything I’d packed into that space for over a decade. But, tbh, I also felt kind of suffocated by the chaos…and envious of my friends who could casually declutter. Nostalgic girlies, have no fear: With trial and error, I discovered how to stay sentimental *and* elevate my bedroom into something fit for a high schooler.
GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 75 Shrink your collection but still capture the cuteness with a couple of giant Squishmallows that match your color palette. Squishmallows Wanda the Watermelon 16” Plush, $21, walmart.com Instead of holding on to dozens of plastic trophies, pay homage to a childhood hobby with a grown-up print. Nadadoras Limited Edition Art Print, $98, minted.com Tbh, sometimes you have to just stuff some old sweatshirts in a bag, push it where no one can see and call it a day. Amazon Basics Fabric Underbed Storage Bag Organizer with Handles in Peony Pink, $27 for a pack of 2, amazon.com The finishing touches your new room needs... Your space-saving STARTER PACK TAKE OUT THE TRASH ORGANIZE WHAT’S LEFT CAPTURE YOUR CURRENT SELF LOOK TO THE FUTURE Block off a weekend afternoon because you’re going to do your entire room at once. First, dump everything out onto your (made) bed. Yep, even your old ballet tote you never unpacked from last year’s dance recital. “Separate everything into three piles: keep, throw away and donate,” recommends interior designer Kate Diaz. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll need a fourth pile for things you *maybe* should getrid of…but you really don’twantto. As hard as it is, I challenge you to take half that pile and, eek, put it in the trash bag. And when you leave that clutter on the curb? Treat yourself to an episode of your comfort sitcom or maybe even a good cry. “It takes a lot of courage to let go of sentimental items,” says design expert Lily Will. Snap a photo of what you toss or donate so you can save the memories while also saving some closet space. With your “keep” items still, um, kinda overflowing, I present: your crafty-girl era. I’m someone who tends to collect way too much paper. But honestly? Those stacks of magazines, party invites and time-worn drawings still spark a whole lot of joy. I’m not ready to throw them away just yet. The key is to find compact, yet meaningful solutions so you can keep beloved items nearby while making room for your current vibe. Enter scrapbooking. Grab paper, scissors and glue, then start sorting (you can go by year, type of item or another category like mood boosters or friendship feels). Scrapbooking allows me to declutter *and* de-stress—whether I’m taking 30 minutes before bed to cut and glue or flipping through my childhood memories after a rough day. With clutter cleared, “it’s the perfect opportunity to add some of your personality into the space,” explains Diaz. But, um, who exactly am I now? To answer that Q, take out a piece of paper and list the following: 1) a color that feels distinctly you, 2) an element of your younger years you want to preserve and 3) something you currently love. I landed on purple (bold, yet calming), butterflies (who doesn’t heart ’em?) and my friendships (I wanted my room to showcase my BFFs front and center). So I swapped my bright violet paint for a low-key lavender, snagged a butterfly bulletin board (Emily & Meritt Butterfly Pinboard, $129, pbteen.com) and used my newfound blank walls for a hanging photo gallery (Hangit Photo Display, $24, dormify.com). By sticking to a short set of rules, I could start to give the space some uniqueness…without feeling the pressure of defining my forever aesthetic. I know I’m going to grow even more in the next couple years. And I also know that I’m going to remain stubbornly sentimental. So in all my excitement over my room’s glow-up, I made sure to create space for the change—and inevitable clutter—that’sto come, like an empty bin awaiting future papers to scrapbook or extra room in my dresser. And when my nostalgic side calls out that I just have to keep something? I try to relive the happy moments another way, like calling my BFF to reminisce. “It’s the memories, not the items, that you truly cherish and take with you,” says home improvement expert Jamie Penney. Now *that’s* an inspirational quote that just might be worthy of my walls. S T E P 1 S T E P 2 S T E P 3 S T E P 4 M AK E IT CUTE “It’s much easier to take care of things that you can see every day,” advises Will. Set a reminder to rotate what’s on display the first week of every month. Glam Round Shelf Display, $159, pbteen.com
76 GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 Just take it from Sara and Maya: “Whenever we’re together, my stress lifts, she makes me laugh and I’m always happy,” Sara gushes. What’s not to love? Is it just a friend crush…or could it be the real (romantic) deal? Here are some key signs your interest may be more than simple intrigue. You notice how she looks. FRIEND CRUSH: You comment fire emojis and “you’re so beautiful” on all her Instagram pictures. CRUSH: You look at her, whether it’s at a party or in class, and think, “Couldn’t we just be kissing rn?” You relish being in close proximity to her. FRIEND CRUSH: I mean, yes, like if you’re having a great conversation. And you always give her a hug to say hi and bye. CRUSH: Oh, man. Whether it’s being able to smell her fruity lip gloss or braiding her hair, you’re completely in the moment. You want to be an important part of her life. FRIEND CRUSH: You want to be the person she vents to about her relationships, school stresses and whatever else is going on. CRUSH: Even if you just met her, you care about her so much. You don’t know why, but you don’t like the image of her and the dates she talks about. They can’t possibly care about her as much as you do. She gives you the feels. FRIEND CRUSH: When she gives you a compliment or *really* listens in a conversation, you’re glowing. CRUSH: No matter where you are, things feel a little empty when she’s not around—and when she walks into the room, you get instant butterflies. You can see yourself dating her. FRIEND CRUSH: You joke about wishing you could date each other, but it really would be weird to kiss her. She’s either like a sister to you…or you want her to be like a sister to you. CRUSH: I mean...yeah. COMPLETELY CRUSHING? Know that whatever you’re feeling is completely OK. When you’re ready, it can help to learn about the experiences of other teens and talk about your feelings. Try advocatesforyouth.org, which has info on local and national resources for LGBTQ+ teens and anyone who is questioning. (Google their “I Think I Might Be...” series, which is super informative.) HAVE A FRIEND CRUSH? Continued from page 53 IS IT SOMETHING MORE? FASHION AND FEATURES SHOPPING GUIDE Credits for pages 1, 7, 16-29 and 58-61. All other credits on page. 8 by Yoox • yoox.com Adiba • adibadesigns.com Air & Anchor • airandanchor.com Alice + Olivia • saksfifthavenue.com Anthropologie • anthropologie.com Appleseed’s • appleseeds.com Arch • archnyc.co Aritzia • aritzia.com Ashley by 26 International • francescas.com Asos • asos.com Astrid & Miyu • us.astridandmiyu.com Awkward Souls • awkwardsouls.com Banana Republic • bananarepublic.gap.com Bara Boheme • baraboheme.com Bari Lynn • saksfifthavenue.com BaubleBar • baublebar.com Berricle • berricle.com BlankNYC • nordstrom.com Bling Jewelry • blingjewelry.com Chicwish • chicwish.com Cider • shopcider.com Claire’s • claires.com Coeur de Lion • coeur-de-lion.org Forever 21 • forever21.com France Luxe • franceluxe.com Franco Sarto • francosarto.com Frankie4 • us.frankie4.com Glassons • glassons.com Henri Bendel • poshmark.com Her-Street • her-street.com Hollister • hollisterco.com Honey Birdette • us.honeybirdette.com Icing • icing.com Ink + Alloy • inkalloy.com Jessica Simpson • dsw.com Journee • dsw.com Joyia Jewelry • joyiajewelry.com JusUnik • jusunik.myshopify.com Kate Spade • katespade.com Kobine • punkdesign.shop Lâmo • lamofootwear.com Lisa Todd • lisatoddnow.com Livingston • amazon.com MabelSheppardVintage • etsy.com/ shop/mabelsheppardvintage Madewell • madewell.com Maison Miru • maisonmiru.com Margaret O’Leary • margaretoleary.com Mark Nason x Skechers • skechers.com Nasty Gal • nastygal.com Nil&Mon • nilandmon.com Nuolux • walmart.com Panacea • panaceajewelry.com Pinko • pinko.com PrettyLittleThing • prettylittlething.us Rainbow Shops • rainbowshops.com Rebecca Minkoff • rebeccaminkoff.com Revice Denim • revicedenim.com Saachi • nordstromrack.com Selfie Leslie • selfieleslie.com Skechers • skechers.com Smak Parlour • unique-vintage.com So • kohls.com Steve Madden • stevemadden.com Target • target.com Teddy Fresh • teddyfresh.com The Sak • dillards.com Winnie Couture • winniecouture.com Zara • zara.com Girls’ Life (ISSN 1078-3326, Vol. 29, Issue 4) is published bimonthly. Basicsubscription price is $29.95 (USF). Periodical postage paid at: Baltimore, MD, and additional mailing offices. All submissions become property of Girls’ Life magazine. Reprints of Bill & Dave and And How Was Your Day? are available by sending $1 to the address below. Bill & Dave and And How Was Your Day? aretrademarks of Girls’ Life Acquisition Corp. Entirecontents ©2023. All rights reserved. POSTMASTER: Send addresschanges to Girls’ Life, 616 Water Street #324, Baltimore, MD 21202. Change of address: Pleasesend old label and new address to same. Subscription questions? Get 24/7/365 interactive customer service by logging on to girlslife.com.
GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 77 DANIELA BUONCRISTIANI/GETTY IMAGES. Feeling the love yet? We’ve got your guide to going all out for your gal pals. WE LOVE A L IST 8 Make memory boxes. Bedazzle to your heart’s content and fill with your sweetest keepsakes (like the handmade b-day cards your bestie writes you every year). 9 Snap Polaroid pics to hang in your locker. What’s better than seeing your friends’ silly smiles between classes? 10 Grab beads and string at the craft store and create the cutest friendship bracelets for your crew. 11 Make old-fashioned fortune tellers. Construction paper + gel pens = the key to your futures. 12 Catch a movie—in a theater. Can’t decide between Sour Patch Kids and Pretzel M&Ms? Just get ’em both. 13 Plan a group journaling sesh. This year, you’re having a high vibe Valentine’s. 14 Design DIY bouquets. The flowers might be faux, but your love for your besties? So real. 1 Pack a picnic. Whether you head to the park or stick to the living room floor, finger sandwiches just taste sooo much better on a blanket. 2 Curate a custom playlist. Anthems like T-Swift’s “Long Live” are meant to be belted out loud during your next main character moment. 3 Stream something new. You’ve seen Clueless a hundred times, so why not try Set It Up or Sleepover? 4 Match your manis. Start with a light pink base coat, then adorn with red and white hearts. Insta stories required. 5 Share memories of how you and your pals first met. Keep tissues on hand, just in case. 6 Head out on a sunrise hike. A screen-free nature moment will get you centered with your girls. 7 Host an ice cream party. You know, like the ones you used to have in elementary school. celebrate Galent ine’s Day 14 small ways to
(ANDWHO YOU SHOULDTRY DATINGINSTEAD) 78 GL APRIL | MAY 2020 THE STARS ARE SAYING IT’S TIME TO RECONSIDER YOUR ROMANTIC PROSPECTS. BY LILY JOHNSON V alentine’s Day is coming fast…and it feels like everyone is contemplating their crushes. Sun signs can definitely tell you a lot about a potential bae but, tbh, some of the most common pairings aren’t necessarily the best matches for us— especially when you consider the complexity of each person’s birth chart. Compatibility is always key when it comes to crushing, but sometimes we settle for the familiar instead of seeking out someone who will challenge us (in good ways) and help us grow into the best version of ourselves. So in the spirit of opening our minds (and hearts) to new people (yes, even Geminis and Scorpios), may we present each sign’s typical crush…and then what sign just might be your secret soulmate. 78 GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 ARIES TAURUS GEMINI CANCER TYPICAL CRUSH: LEO. Leos dazzle you with their magnetism and charisma. When you’re around them, you dream about becoming the other half of a truly dynamic power couple. CONSIDER: LIBRA. Libras have some of the same qualities as Leos (they’re also great with crowds and draw people into their circles), but they’re a bit more egalitarian, so you won’t feel like you’re fighting for the limelight. They know when to step back and give you your spot to shine. TYPICAL CRUSH: CAPRICORN. Like you, this earth sign is defined by hard work and a love for the finer things in life. One of the first things you might notice about them is how they always seem so put-together (well-dressed no. matter. what.). CONSIDER: VIRGO. Virgosshare yourintensework ethic, but also put a lot of their energy into relationships. Virgossteadfastly showup for the important people in their lives—and teach you, Taurus, to do the same. TYPICAL CRUSH: LIBRA. Libra’s chattiness and ease in groups feels familiar to you as an air sign. You can easily see yourself being best friends in love, with an ever-growing, harmonious friend group to boot. CONSIDER: SAGITTARIUS. Sags are notorious for speaking the (sometimes uncomfy) truth, which makes you cringe at first. But they do so because they’re one of the most honest signs out there. An adventurous spirit, they inspire you to be more authentically yourself. TYPICAL CRUSH: SCORPIO. Bold truth-seekers, Scorps can feel like the opposite of how you operate. You’re drawn to their probing questions—even though, when directed at you, they can also make you incredibly nervous. CONSIDER: CAPRICORN. Grounded and firm, Capricorns can be intimidating but also really refreshing. Around them, you’ll feel more comfortable coming out of your shell because they’ll give you the breathing room you need to take up more space in the world. Ahh... STAR SIGNS
GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 79 LEO VIRGO L IBRA SCORPIO SAGI T TARIUS CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PI SCES TYPICAL CRUSH: SAGITTARIUS. You’re attracted to Sags’ adventurousness and outgoing, fiery personalities, especially when you see them ruffle a few feathers yet seem unbothered. CONSIDER: AQUARIUS. The most humanitarian sign in the zodiac, you two can get into deep discussions about changing theworld—or even team up to actually do it. Beingwith them makes you feel like you’re a part ofsomething bigger,which is always a greatfeeling to have. TYPICAL CRUSH: ARIES. Aries are intriguing because they tend to subtly command attention wherever they go and feel like natural leaders. If you’re in the middle of a big group, they’re the ones boldly attracting everyone’s attention. CONSIDER: GEMINI. Gems can have friend vibes because you’re both such similar,socialsigns. Butthat’s actually a greatthing: They’re people you can trust and communicatewith more easily, bringing about deeper and more vulnerable convos. TYPICAL CRUSH: TAURUS. Their tireless work ethic and intrinsic seriousness feel comforting and familiar to you. Like you, they’re someone who manages to do it all and still somehow make it look super easy. CONSIDER: PISCES. Thewatersign values emotions, creativity and living life a little more spontaneously— allthings you like deep down buttend to be a bitwary of. Butthat’swhat makes Pisces such an alluring match: They can guide you to being more in touchwith howyou feel. TYPICAL CRUSH: PISCES. While you can keep your emotions close to your chest, Pisces are very candid with how they feel—you trust and admire their candor. CONSIDER: TAURUS. Talking feelingsisimportant… butsometimes a doublewater-sign combo can lead to a frequentrehashing of grievanceswith no tangible solutionsin sight. That’swhy a sturdy sign like Taurus can be such a solid partner. They listen attentively, but also help you troubleshoot and calm yourworstsuspicions. TYPICAL CRUSH: GEMINI. Gems have a reputation for being inconsistent, but you find that aspect of them magnetizing. They’re never boring—and always keep you on your toes. CONSIDER: ARIES. Aries matches your ambitious and adventurous energy, but they have a talentfor narrowing theirfocus on thingsthat truly matterto them. They really appreciatewhen people rootforthem,so they’ll be your biggest cheerleaderwhen you inevitably accomplish all you’ve set yoursights on. TYPICAL CRUSH: AQUARIUS. One of the most unique signs, you often seek out someone as unusual as you are. With another Aquarius, you feel assured that you won’t be judged for your most out-there thoughts. CONSIDER: LEO. While you can intellectualize a lotin conversation, Leo is warm and enthusiastic, hanging on to everyword you say while also showing you that not every discussion needsto be about changing the status quo or pushing boundaries. TYPICAL CRUSH: CANCER. You relate to Cancer’s loyal, introverted side—and think their silence is an indicator of depth. As a hardworking earth sign, you feel compelled to crack their shell. CONSIDER: SCORPIO. Like Cancers, Scorps get deep—but are more likely to vocalize howthey feel. Their emotional boldness pairswell with your go-getter attitude in life: They inspire you to speak more freely aboutwhatirks you, no matter howsmall. With them, you can reach new levels oftrue connection. TYPICAL CRUSH: VIRGO. You’re sensitive enough to notice when a Virgo is doing the most for others—and you love how they revel in order and consistency (vs. your creativity and spontaneity). CONSIDER: CANCER. A fellowwatersign, Canceris likely to be on the same page as you on so many topics. With them, you feel like you can share yourwildestideas or unload aboutthe most vulnerable topics—and feel supported thewholeway. This bond pushes you to be your fullestselfwithoutshame.
80 GL FEBRUARY | MARCH 2023 After a few weeks of talking and group hangs, my crush asked if I wanted to grab boba. I figured it was a casual thing, so I brought my bestie and her little sis. When we got to the shop, it was just my crush, who *totally* was expecting me solo. We laugh about it now, but it was so cringe in the moment. —KENDALL C. I was studying in the library for a major math test, so I had white noise cranked all the way up on my AirPods so I could focus. It turns out that I was *so* focused that I missed the first bell…and the second. It wasn’t until the librarian tapped me on the shoulder that I realized I was missing class—and my test. —WHITNEY A. I was curling my hair for the winter dance when bae FaceTimed. I picked up…then remembered only half of my hair was done and the rest was up in clips. I looked so weird. —KATE D. My BFF and I were walking home from practice, and her super cute older brother met up with us. He asked if anyone had an extra pair of gloves he could borrow, and I immediately said that I did. When I reached into my gym bag, all I could find was a pair of hedgehog mittens. He wore them anyway. —LUCY T. I couldn’t find my crush’s IG account, so naturally my friends went full stalker mode and uncovered all her socials. The next day in class, we got assigned to a project together and decided to work on my computer. I turned on my screen only for the current tab to be an Insta post my crush’s sister tagged her in. The way I *slammed* that laptop shut. —SKYLAR J. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...you *finally* build up the courage to ask your crush out for pizza— but then forget to include the when and where. —SHELLY Z. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...you bring in homemade cake pops for your entire earth science class, only to realize you made way less than you needed. —VANESSA N. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...your bestie asks you to slip the card she made for her crush into his locker, but you put it into the wrong one by mistake. —RILEY M. …you getthe most beautiful bouquet ofroses…from your crush’s bestfriend. Awkward. —HOLLIE W. T H AT AW K WA R D M O M E N T W H E N … ...you’re about to heart bae’s text message and accidentally give it a thumbs down. In a giant group chat. —CHLOE F. We were switching up lab partners in chemistry class, and I was psyched to be paired with my yearlong crush. After we exchanged numbers to talk over our group project, I texted my BFF about how cute bae looked in his lab coat…only to see that I had texted my crush instead. –KRISHA B. During lunch break, my friends and I were having a snowball fight. Iformed a perfectsnowball and chucked it at my bestie, butshe ducked. Instead, it flew rightinto the shoulder of our principal walking behind her. She brushed offthe snow and stalked away, leaving my face flushed (*not*from the cold). —JANIYAH S. VALENTINE’S DAY TOP LEFT: HILL STREET STUDIOS/GETTY IMAGES. O D E T O AWK
3:30 PM Power up for a study sesh with a skin-saving snack The best acne-fighting foods? Recipes rich in omega-3 fatty acids, vitamin A and zinc. Try a berry smoothie with flaxseeds, baked sweet potato fries or hummus with pita chips. 5:00 PM Move your muscles You’ve knocked out some HW and caught up with the bestie GC. Next step? A walk around the neighborhood to boostcirculation *and* deliver extra nutrients to your skin. 7:00 PM Find your zen Hate to break it to you, but stress can absolutely exacerbate acne (thanks, hormones). That’s why it’s v. important to schedule low-key chill time. 9:00 PM Slay your skincare Wash your face with Zapzyt Acne Wash Cleanser, then spot treat any problem areas with Zapzyt Acne Treatment Gel. The max-strength 10% benzoyl peroxide formula kills acnecausing bacteria and blasts away dead skin cells. 10:00 PM Catch your zzz’s A good night’s sleep is essential for stellar skin. And while you drift off into dreamland, Zapzyt’s dermatologist-recommended water-based gel (it only has five simple ingredients, so it clears pimples from the source *without* overdrying) will Put. In. The. Work. With visible results in just five hours (!!!), you’ll be waking up to a clearer complexion. THE CLEAR-SKIN NIGHT ROUTINE YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR