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Published by ixtlan88, 2017-11-22 08:56:47

The StarPortal Initiation

The Star Portal Initiation

The Star Portal Initiation

Spiritual Alchemy for Blooming Your Star Seed

Kristilynn Starwell

Copyright © 2016 by Kristilynn Starwell

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or
transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other
electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher,

except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other
noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Table of Contents
Portal 1- Calcination
Portal 2-Distillation
Portal 3- Separation
Portal 4- Conjunction
Portal 5- Fermentation
Portal 6- Distillation
Portal 7- Coagulation

Welcome to the Star Portal,

a new paradigm of Soular evolution for the new Humanity. Think of this as an evolution in
the vision of healing. Instead of going to the gas station or doctor to fill up periodically, this is

an offering of Light and Love, where you pass through the star light portal, through your
consciousness. As you pass through here, you have the opportunity to evolve the frequency

of the Light you carry. Therefore, you have the opportunity to change the way you think,
and therefore experience your life. Stars allow us the opportunity to be Time Travelers.
We only experience Star Light years after its Light has begun its journey to our Eyes. The
closest Star to earth takes about 4 years for its light to reach us. Therefore, we are looking
4 years into the past when we see this star, and that’s the closest one! So, we will be playing

with Time.

The Star Portal helps you remember who you are, your true Purpose, your true Path, and
then you return to the world to express that with your Heart. Here, Illness is defined as
forgetting who we are, where we come from, how connected we are if we would but listen to
that prevailing whisper, burn with that insistent vision. Congratulations if you are ready to

surrender to the idea of being “not all here”, “not quite right” as though your lover has “gone
missing”, just to find the lover is really you. If you feel this, and have been troubled by it, you
have passed the corridors of suppression and denial and are prepared to take an adventure

into your Heart’s truth.

The Voyage of the Star Portal will be divided 7 into sections. Think of it as a Pathway of
Stellar evolution. Humans are but Star Dust, and like Star Dust, we must pass through the
Illusion of Space-Time to collect our elements, condense our elements, purify our elements,
burn our elements, share our elements, then collapse under the strain of Gravity, only to find

we have burrowed so deeply into the essence of ourselves, of the Universe, that we have
warped Space Time with our reflective contemplation, our longing for Love, our Agony
within the Illusion of Separation. So, we are here, staying silent in our Truth, but not silent

enough to hear the Whisper. Only silent enough to hide from the rest of the world, that we
are, who we are, what we are, where and why we are, burning with our own light, but too afraid
to Light the world afire, so we hide, are silent, as the rest are silent, as we die to our Human

forms just to return as Star beings, the way we were back then, continue to be, and will be
ever-after, a continuation of Shrouded Essence on the journey to Star Essence
Evolution.

The Star Portal is divided sequentially. It will be presented within the language of several
paradigms, in order for you to get the Feel of the way the Universe is Silent, becomes,
purifies, explodes, expands, contracts, and grows Silent in order to be born once more, in
various contexts. These paradigms include:

1. Alice in Wonderland
2. The Emerald Tablet

3. Alchemy
4. Black Hole Anatomy Theory

5. Stellar Evolution
6. Healing
7. Poetry

The Star Portal Initiations are models for your own evolution and healing. They give a
structure to what sometimes seems like meaningless pain and chaos in our worlds of inner
exploration, despair, initiation and evolution. By seeing a divine pattern of healing and

evolution running through the 7 paradigms here, you can be empowered to notice the
same pattern within your own life. This helps because instead of falling into despair we
begin to see its purpose. We see the trials of our lives as the universes’ way to bring us
back to our original nature. It’s kind of like the stages of grief. If you are aware of them it
helps to accept your anger, and know that eventually you will move passed it. There is a

goal here. We have become something other than our true selves, and this cannot
continue if we are to be Star Light.

We will look at Alice as a model for healing, as well as Alchemy, The Emerald Tablet ,
(an ancient alchemical text), Black Hole Anatomy, Stellar Evolution, Personal Healing,

and Poetry, because they can all be used as simple models for both the initiatory and
healing process. Each Portal represents a different step in our evolution as Light
Beings. It is not a linear process. You can be at more than 1 portal at a time. The
sequence is a general ordering of the way the process can typically unfold naturally. Use

it in whatever way works for you.

Now, let us begin our journey into our forgotten inner Kingdoms, our healing, our Star
Seed Evolution. Take my hand. I will happily be your guide.

Star Portal 1
Calcination

Trial by Fire, Initiation into Death

Introduction

It is delightful to find that the Universe agrees, the beginning of this “coming undone” to the
Falsity we have masked ourselves within is found within the glorious process of Death, the

great Initiator, Healer, Reveler, Truth Teller, Liberator.

For too long have we misunderstood and feared this Heavenly Essence of Reclamation,
which calls out, “Come home”. This can represent transition from physical to spiritual in our

transition from Earth to Sky or it can represent that same process as we remain on the
Earth plane, but surrender physical masks, in order to reveal more Light Essence. The only

Pain is that which we create in order to continue to wear the false face, rather that radiate
with the Light we have held but hidden for so long.

Alice’s Adventures: Death is our Beginning

In Alice’s realm her end is her beginning. So too shall it be with us. Remember how Alice’s
story starts as she is listening to her sister read to her out of a boring history book? Alice

comments that no good book would be missing pictures. In succumbing to her boredom,
instead of dutifully pretending to be interested in what her sister is “teaching” her, Alice
decides that “his” story is not her own. She falls asleep, a sign that she has had enough of
conventional boredom. She is ready to test the limits of logic, what is real, and what is true. It
takes courage to venture here, yes? But, if we are not satisfied with allowing the world to
feed us all of its silly truths, it is a journey all Seekers must face. There will be no promises,
guarantees, or infallible formulas or logics. We have chosen our Hearts over our Heads, &

Adventure and Uncertainty, over Monotony and Complacency. Alice begins her
Adventure into the “absurd”, and tastes the limits of dry logic. She enters the dark rabbit
hole, to retrieve the golden key to get back into the garden. Experimenting with Mysterious
Substances, she explores the dimensions of size. Here, she realizes, “It’s no use to pretend

to be 2 people.” So she begins the task of unmasking, find what is real and true within
herstory. She has sacrificed history for her own, crafted with the blood, sweat, and tears of a
life lived, an adventure embarked upon, a heart taken along for the ride, no matter what. This

is the beginning.

Alchemy Introduction

Alchemy is an ancient practice concerned with the purification of unrefined substances into
more purified essences. We will be working with Spiritual alchemy here. We don’t need a

scientist’s lab because our body filled with spirit is the Living Light Laboratory. We are the
Magic Flask filled with all the necessary ingredients of life and death to undergo the great
Transformation. The alchemists were said to be obsessed with finding a way to transform
lead into gold. It was held, that if they could perform this highest of transmutations, their soul
would undergo the same transmutation. They were spiritual. The true practitioners were
using the outer laboratory, as a mirror of inner spiritual experience. What happened in the

laboratory of a true alchemist, so too was mirrored within his very inner soul. If he could
evolve lead to gold, he would be perfecting his inner essence to its most refined state.

The Emerald Tablet

The alchemists called the perfected essence that they were seeking the philosopher’s stone.
In an ancient writing called The Emerald Tablet, a formula is given that is supposed to

reflect the process involved in creating this philosopher’s stone, or refined essence. It goes
like this…

The Emerald Tablet

In truth, without deceit, certain, and most veritable.

That which is Below corresponds to that which is Above, and that which is Above
corresponds to that which is Below, to accomplish the miracles of the One Thing. And just
as all things have come from this One Thing, through the meditation of One Mind, so do all

created things originate from this One Thing, through Transformation.

Its father is the Sun; its mother the Moon. The Wind carries it in it belly; its nurse is the
Earth. It is the origin of All, the consecration of the Universe; its inherent Strength is

perfected, if it is turned into Earth.

Separate the Earth from Fire, the Subtle from the Gross, gentle and with great Ingenuity.
It rises from Earth to Heaven and descends again to Earth, thereby combining within itself

the powers of both the Above and Below.

Thus will you obtain the Glory of the Whole Universe. All Obscurity will be clear to you.
This is the greatest Force of all powers, because it overcomes every subtle thing and
penetrates every Solid thing.

In this way was the Universe created. From this comes many wondrous Applications,
because this is the Pattern.

Therefore am I called thrice Greatest Hermes, having all three

parts of the wisdom of the Whole Universe. Herein have I completely explained the
Operation of the Sun.

The Emerald Tablet

The first step in alchemy is depicted in The Emerald Tablet when it says, “Its father is the
Sun.” This means that Fire rules the first process in Alchemy. It may be a time when you feel
you are being burned, purified, pulverized, destroyed, cleansed or betrayed. It is the time to
go “bare bones” and to allow what is false to be tripped off and burned away, in order to be

perfected, in order to get back to the real essential you.

Alchemical Calcination

The first process in Alchemy is called Calcination. In relation to The Emerald Tablet
above, Calcination corresponds with the phrase “It’s father is the Sun”. Calcination
involves burning or stripping the inessential, removing the masks that are keeping the self or
substance from revealing its more refined essence. Calcination requires the element of Fire
to release the inessential from the essential. The intensity of these Fires depends again
upon our resistance to shedding our old skin, and surrendering to what is trying to be brought
forth anew. It is a time that says, “I have had enough.” Then begins the unfurling of the
inessential cover, to expose what is naked, beautiful & natural. Calcination’s gift is that it

offers us a glimpse of our essential self. The challenge is to find ways to put that self first,
our heart, our light, our love and happiness, no matter what. This self must rule our life. We

are on the path of recovering that.

Black Hole Anatomy: Passed the Event Horizon

Think of a Black Hole as a Prison of Light. Once Light enters it is held prisoner through
the black hole’s gravity. This light prison is ironically, a metaphor for the inner “lost garden”
we are trying to regain entry to. It is a metaphor for the inner subconscious, the repository for
lost light that cannot be easily seen or released, but must be entered to be redeemed back

into the living light of consciousness.

As we first descend into the black hole we are sucked in by its immense gravitational pull. We
are being sucked under by the force of our own darkness. But, we can reclaim the lost and
missing, the sacrificed, beheaded, branded, chastised, and renounced pieces of self that we
have cast aside by travelling here. It is not time to grab substances to numb us out. If we
haven’t our wits how are we to bring the light of our consciousness into this darkest of dark
spaces, to reclaim what we find there?

During this time of entry into the darkness within, we can expect to feel disoriented as the
normal laws of life and physics do not apply here. In this space, we can melt the fabric of
Space-Time within fields of black hole gravity. As we melt this fabric we will be able to play
within the portals between past-present-future. The task in entering the darkness here is to
bring the presence of light to what needs to be healed, enlightened, redeemed, reclaimed.
The more we think that “this should not have happened” or “this should not be happening”
the more we fight the contrary rules of life that exist once we commit ourselves to being
complete again. It happens as it should to bring us back to the truth. The fact is that it did
happen, it is happening, all those seemingly “imperfections”. They, from the past, are still
present because they are begging us to bring them into the living light of our consciousness
from the present moment now. To do this we can fold our melted space time, warped by the
gravity of our suffering, and bridge present to past, marry darkness and light, rectify the

wrong, and redeem our darkness back into the living light presence here now.

Let’s get used to the idea of reclaiming all the negatives that our culture has erroneously
cautioned us against. Has this been done to detour our journeys? For as long as we think
that the dark is bad we will not venture there to heal what we have lost there. We will entertain
ourselves in fantasy, delusion, death making to avoid that most essential thing ; death. But,
without taking that journey within we do not fully heal. As long as we fear this “dark” the
world has power over us to control, manipulate, and provide the poisons that will hide us from

ourselves, and stall us from reclaiming our true Star being.

It’s beautiful to explore the evolution of cosmic beings because they do not fear the
darkness. They understand it as part of the journey, the background of all that Shines. The
darkness is the story that gives birth to each and every one of us. How can we deny it? How
can we allow the world to put us in fear regarding our own inner being, our own evolution, our

own story? The truth is that the darkness can be faced, and in that facing we regain the
golden key to our own immortality. Let’s get over having to have physical definitions for
everything. Immortality involves not having to “live” and “die”. It removes the distinction
between the two. To be immortal is to be beyond having to “die”, to come back and try again.
To be an immortal means that you “die” to the li(f)e of death. You die to the life of “staying

asleep”. Being an immortal requires that we wake up to the pain, the joy, and the
responsibility of realizing that there is a lot out of order here, and that we have an obligation

to ourselves to rectify that. Why? So, that we don’t have to continue reincarnating to
experience being a black hole. We break through to the other side, while still in physical form,

to our white hole. We have redeemed the darkness, by forging a bridge between it and the
Light within.

In our Black Hole Journey, once we submit to the pull of our own gravity, knowing full well we
are being pulled by the power of our own inner light that has been imprisoned in our

unconsciousness, we have passed what is called the “event horizon”. It is the “point of no
return” into the black hole. You might experience the crossing of this mysterious threshold as

“going over the edge”. Anatomically, if you imagine a witch’s hat turned upside down, the
event horizon would be the outermost rim of the hat. This “event horizon” is symbolic of an
event that has worked as a trigger to move us from looking outward to looking inward. The

gift of this event , which we may call “pain”, was that it was the magic tool to turn us inward.
Our pain, tricked us into having the courage to go inward. Only by doing this can we reclaim
our Kingdom. How else would this journey begin? Our forgotten Light has called us out, we
have heeded that call. We have moved inward to explore it. There is no turning back. We are
armed with the light of our consciousness, an eternal watchtower thrown into the fathoms of
infinite gravity, melting the fabric of Space-Time so that all time is now, present, available to
be recast into a new character, in a new story, not of pain, but of promise, not of loss, but of

love, not of folly, but of faith. You are that character. You bring back the portions of
yourself that you have scripted into “failure”, “rejection”, “inadequacy”, “vulnerability”. They
are all you, looking for the way back home. Look them in the eyes. Their eyes burn with the
fire of your shattered soul, shards pulled out and off like liquid light taffy. Pull them all back

into your safe home. Let them know it is safe. You are in control of your kingdom, nobody
else. We need all are pieces together to complete our Quest.

Stellar Evolution

In the beginning of rebirthing our Star Self (as we simultaneously seem to die within the one
that we already are) we are in the scientific process of proto-star formation. This means that

clumps of matter are coming together under gravitational attraction. They become more
dense and hot. Eventually this will result in the creation of nuclear reactions, and the clump of

matter becomes a Shining Star. We begin to be (re)born through this gravitational
attraction moving inward. As we travel inward, our light and heat go with us. This causes the
surrounding area to experience a loss of heat and to feel cool. This reflects our “death” to

the outer world, but only to collect the inner gravitational matter, and bring the light to it.

Healing

Our first step to reclaim the key to the kingdom of the essential self is to no longer be willing
to go along with the program of social norms, denial, and suppression. We stop doing what
everyone else is doing, because we notice that they are not the person that we came here to

become. We begin the work of removing the layers of masking we have donned to keep
ourselves safe, numb, protected, and false. We enter into a realm in which the rules have

changed. We play with the perimeters of “madness” realizing that within this realm we are free
to break away from dead logic and out dated rules to listen to the love within our hearts.

Once we have gone “mad”, we are no longer enslaved by a society that fears nothing more
than our own power, our own freedom, our own salvation and redemption that requires
nothing more than what nature has provided us with. Once we have gone “mad” we have
entered, faced, and begun to transform the darkness; what we have been taught to fear,

avoid, and renounce the most…..darkness, depression and death. These are not our enemies.
They are presents, but all presents depend on how we use them to be considered “good” .

Can we trust, and let the Universe take us on this journey? Can we trust and know that
depression is a clarion call from our soul, that much light has gone missing, and needs to be
returned or the inner Kingdom will be shrouded in darkness? Can we celebrate death as
returning closer to home? How much misery have we undergone because death is feared and
not understood? These are the keys to the kingdom, but we are not taught how to “forge”
our keys. We are trained to feel powerless, afraid, to look outward to escape ourselves, to
bypass these inner keys that have been shrouded in darkness, because they lead the way to

the immortal light.

My Calcination

When I was 27, I had a near death experience while flipping my car over on the Interstate. It
was Valentine’s Day. I saw 2 children in the backseat a few minutes prior to the wreck, a girl

and boy. When I jumped out of my window, I “saw” an angle of death, who still visits me to
make sure my Heart is on the “right side of the road”.

CalcinationPoetry

Immortalidad
The granite tomb is the room
Where the bride loses groom
Where the dead come back to life
Healing caduceus Saturn’s knife
In good time the sun will shine
When your starlight turns to wine
Burning through the leaden dross

‘til all is silent all is lost
But your purest dove-like white
Then returns your purest light
Into your vessel barren but glowing
All is darkness, yet all knowing
Your spark’s awakened as you shatter

Into energy out of matter
Death creates a fertile soil
Slept with Saturn, learned his toil
Your heart was sacrificed by a Mayan Lord
So that your death could be explored
So you’d learn to burn your bones

To rekindle Philosopher’s Stones
Once you learn to light the dark
Than you bare Saturn’s mark

But once your Golden Flower blooms
Brides are white and meet their grooms
This trip of time it belongs to humanity
But only in death do we gain immortality

Summary of Star Portal 1

Alice’s Adventures Down the rabbit hole, falling asleep to being
Emerald Tablet compliant with social norms, surrendering to
Alchemy the boredom and allowing that to take us
into a journey into another realm, where the
Black Hole Anatomy Theory rules have changed. We have gone here to
reclaim our story, power, passion, truth, light,
Stellar Evolution golden key to the garden.
Its Father is the Sun
Calcination: Through the element of fire we
get a glimpse of our essential, naked
essence and realize for moments at a time
that this is what we must return to.
We surrender to the gravitational attraction
of our imprisoned light, stored within our
unconsciousness. We understand this as
the calling out of our soul, and so not need
to deny, repress, or seek to escape. We
have heard, listened, and heeded the call,
which draws us inward to the “event horizon”,
the point of no return. We have embarked
upon the journey, prompted by an event
that we may have labeled as painful, which
brought us to this edge within ourselves that
we have been “tricked” into having the
courage to explore.
We begin our Star resurrection with
protostar formation. Massive clumps of
matter pull together through the force of
gravity. The inner regions heat, the
surrounding regions cool. Eventually the
heating leads to nuclear reactions which give
birth to a Shining Star.

Personal Healing We stop following social norms and explore
My Calcination the edges of truth, reality, and madness. We
realize we have sabotaged our hearts and
essence to fit in. This has turned us into the
walking dead.
Car Wreck/Near Death Experience

Journal 1

Write about an experience you have had with calcination, and explain the
association. What was the lesson or message?

Star Portal 2
Dissolution

Trial by Water, Initiation into Grief & Despair

Alice’s Adventures

As Alice continues to evolve on her journey, she moves from the darkness of the rabbit hole
of Calcination, into the waters of Dissolution. She swims in an ocean of her inner water as
she cries her “pool of tears”. She experiences despair as she feels homesick and lost. Her
old comforts can no longer come to her aid, and the old rules of thinking and being do not
apply in Wonderland. Help arises in the form of a Magic bottle that Alice ingests to find
that she has a big me and a little me. She must play with these versions of herself. Which one
works to get back into the garden that awaits behind the small door she has discovered? As
she plays with the “big me” her neck extends into a sort of telescope. This is the big me, that
we need to tap into to span the cosmos, connect with the heavens and align with our spiritual
essence. We have to “stick our neck out” and explore these uncharted territories of self-

hood, or else remain shut up within our social shells and 3-Dforms.

The Emerald Tablet

Within The Emerald Tablet, we are in the arena of “It’s mother is the moon.” The second
step in alchemy is ruled by the feminine moon. She is the balance to the Sun. It will be a
watery, reflective, feminine process. It will cleanse and nourish. We may feel contemplative,
emotional, overwhelmed and boundless during this time.

Alchemy

The second process in alchemical transformation is Dissolution. We are in the period of
cleansing through the element of water, the feminine. She will nourish the parched remains
that have survived the process of solar fire Calcination. Dissolution works to release the
buried emotions that we need to face, experience, redeem. In this phase, we may suffer for
judging things based upon their outward appearances. The waters of Dissolution help to
balance the burning fires that exposed our essence in the previous process of Calcination. It
will nourish and cleanse what remains and integrate the feminine lunar world of feeling. During
this time, we may experience feelings of despair, depression and hopelessness as life fails to
meet our faulty expectations. We will cry our own pool of tears, swim in the waters of our own

making, and continue to purge what is non-essential for the sake of redeeming our Highest
Hope, Purpose, Heart.

Black Hole Anatomy Theory: Turning into Taffy

Now that we have survived crossing the “event horizon” of the black hole of unconsciousness,
we begin to stretch beyond the familiar limits of reality as we are pulled into the gravitational

field of the black hole. This is like Alice’s neck stretching, turning into a telescope.
Everything false that we depended on to feel secure will be ushered to the wayside. Our
atoms will begin to be torn apart. But, fear not, for remember your physical body is not the
voyager here. It is the soul or light body, which is able to partake in this journey. Think of this
as a process of cleansing your STAR Light Body. The photons are being stretched and
all that no longer “radiates” will be cast off, all the illusions that you are ready to shed can be
rid of here. Like despair, through this self-expansion or elongation, we are torn apart from the
old and familiar so that what is false and out dated, can be purged. Through this elongation,
we attain the eagle’s view vantage point, where we see the world from an elevated position
and the truth becomes more obvious. We have to face what we see from this vantage point,

and integrate that truth into a more complete picture of reality. The world exposes our
deepest fears, vulnerabilities, and desires so that we can feel, purge and reintegrate.

Stellar Evolution

As we continue in our journey to reclaim our Star Being, the next step is for our protons to
lose their identity to melt into something bigger, like Alice in her pool of tears, and the pulling
apart, which we experience in the black hole. As our inner Star heats up, our protons move

and collide. As they succumb to the nuclear force they dissolve to fuse, in order to create
something greater than themselves or their previous identity as “charge repulsive” particles.
This “something greater” that we dissolve our smaller identities into is radiation, the outward

expression of the Inner Fire.

Healing

We know that in our culture it is frowned upon to openly express a certain amount of
emotion,

especially if it interferes with our monetary productivity. Dissolution is our opportunity to
reclaim and (re)experience those inner feelings, which have been marginalized in the name of
survival. Often these feelings hold the key to our happiness, if we can embrace them and use
them to guide our path. How beautiful can the journey be if we forbid ourselves to surrender
to our deepest feelings, and to learn what they have to teach us? Personally, we may feel like
we are “falling apart”, “losing it”, or “going over the edge”, but if we can trust that again we are
being guided by the call of our Soul’s dissatisfaction. We can reunite with our feelings, and
release ourselves from the strangle hold that our reason often has over the truth that speaks
from our Heart. It knows the Way of our Destiny. It knows our deepest Longing for Union.

Our Reason does not.

My Dissolution

The Calcination that I experienced in my car wreck, as life/death broke my “protective shell”
to have me stand naked in my vulnerability and witness the masked heart that I was expressing

in my life, evolved into Dissolution. Before the car flipped over and I entertained the
possibility of death, the only question I heard was, “Does it matter if I see my soul mate
again?” . My reply was “I don’t know.” Later that day I called my soul mate hoping for a happy
reunion. That was not to be, though my fantasy played out for a few months until again
reality hit home, and my first soul mate got married. I also called my father and he said, “I can’t
come out there I have a business to run.” For me, I wanted the father/male figure to come and
play the protector, and tell me it was all going to be OK. When I realized this was not going
to happen, through either of these men in my life, I was devastated. Remember Dissolution is
about coming unglued, an old illusion was working its way out of my life. I could no longer hold
onto this hope of the father to rescue and protect me. I cried my pool of tears, and resigned
myself to the reality of not having a true father to love, support, and protect me. Nor did I

have a husband to play this role. I had to play it for myself.

Distillation Poetry
Golden Flower Stone
Sailing in this desert
Though this desert has no waves
I’m sailing in this desert
Because the water saves
What must be saved from burning
Under the scorching sun
It saves what must be saved
So this great work is done
Without beakers or retorts
Without a lab of flasks
Because it’s with the sun
That the water comes to pass
The girls all get their rings
And it shows them merry

I get no such things
But my visions carry
Me to another wedding

They call it chemical
The bride and groom within

metaphysical
It’s how to create the universe

Somehow deep within
Inside the black hole
That’s where the wedding’s been
That’s how one’s born from darkness
To gain the second sight
That needs no object to see
Because the object’s light
The inner world in darkness, leads to inner glowing
Worldly knowledge lost, all for inner knowing
As one’s life is lost, for this time, this toil
This is Saturn’s sign, tilling in this soil
Because it’s fertile ground for what must be sown
The fabled golden flower, transforms into stone
The days they are of labor
And the nights I spend alone
Because this old man Saturn is only staff and bone

Still I am his wife, still I share his bed
Walking this moving shadow of the living in the dead

He never breaks the cycle
His life is ruled by time
If you will defeat him
You have to do the crime
Of sneaking out at night

When he thinks you sleep
If you sail the stars, then Saturn you defeat

You have to become formless
To escape his bed

You have to become mercury after being lead
So learn to travel astral
Sail from earth to sky

And soon you’ll pass by Saturn
Whose fate is not to fly

This cycle’s your golden ring
Your golden ring , eternity
And your husband’s name

Your husband’s name is alchemy.

Summary of Star Portal 2

Alice’s Adventures Alice creates her pool of tears when she
Emerald Tablet realizes she no longer has the old comforts
Alchemy of home, and furthermore reason does not
work so well in Wonderland. She meets the
Black Hole Theory limits of reality and of herself and falls into

Personal Healing despair.
Its Mother is the Moon
The second step in the alchemical process
is dissolution. It has to do with losing our old
ideas of what is real and true. Often this
can be a shocking process. We realize and
feel that reality is not what we had thought
or hoped. We may fall into despair,
drowning in our deepest feelings for some
time, until we are ready to move on with a
newer more complete picture of reality and
self, closer to the truth inside and outside.
As we pass the “event horizon” we begin to
be stretched beyond our normal limits, as
the forces of gravity take hold. We turn into
taffy, and can no longer pretend to “keep it
together.” As we are elongated, we are
moved away from the old, the past, the
outdated, and the false. We see it from an
Eagle’s view because we have become
elevated to witness the truth more clearly.
Old comforts no longer nourish us and we
have to realize that the world is not what we
thought. This can be shocking, and we may
fall into despair. Eventually, we will
integrate these deep feelings that we are
experiencing and the new truths that we

My Dissolution have witnessed into a more unified picture of
self and reality.

After wrecking my car I reached out to the
men in my life looking for comfort, support,
love, protection, and nurturing. Once more, I
encountered the reality that this was not

really possible. I had to experience this
disappointment over and over until I became
my own father figure, and provided myself
with all I was hoping he could, but couldn’t

This has been a life long part of my work.

Journal 2

Describe an experience you have had with dissolution. Explain the association. What was
the lesson or message?

Star Portal 3
Separation

Trial By Wind, Initiation into Loss & Surrender

Alice’s Adventures

After Alice swims in her pool of tears, she wants to get over feeling wet and sad. She wants
to go back to the way things used to be and feel dry. Her friends in the story begin to recite
historical accounts through the faculty of dry logic, but still Alice feels “wet and sad”. After
Dissolution, whatever has been cleansed, exposed, or realized has a lasting effect. It cannot
be covered over through logic. We can no longer rationalize the situation to redeem it or to
make it appear to fit into our fantasy of the way things should be. We must accept it as it is.
As we move out of Dissolution, we move into Separation. As Alice continues her journey in
truth she must face the separation that she is creating between self and others and all that
which used to provide her comfort. She is also becoming separated from her old self. Her

feelings are separate from her logic, so much so that that logic no longer influences her
feelings, but it seems her feelings have grown to overpower the realm of logic. She is
approaching the vantage point where she can say, “I am that no longer.” This is achieved
through the process of Separation that involves experiencing these 2 separate beings within
ourselves, the new and old me. The old me went along with logic, the new me is looking for my

true feelings, the intimate, deep, real, heart of life. This is more than an abstract,
intellectualized, social shell. The warmer the heart, the more completely it melts the false mask
of logic that protects it, and makes it feel safe and invisible in fitting in, not stirring things up&

standing out. Since the dry logic no longer serves as the magic bullet to evaporate Alice’s
feelings, the story suggests that they all venture into seeking “more energetic remedies” to
help her. This can be interpreted as a metaphor for needing to reclaim the Light that we have

prostituted, or sold, in order to be agreeable to the social world. This lost Light is the
solution or “energetic remedy” to balancing being wet and sad all the time. Once resurrected,

our lost light will recreate our Star Field, which soars with Divine Illumination, far past the
realm of dry human logic. It will quench our thirst and satiate our hunger at the same time. It will
work through both mind and emotion. Join them in a marriage under heaven, and pronounce

us an Immortal. But, I get ahead of myself. Right now, we must Separate our dualities, our
heart and our head to soon bring them both into a higher truth, merged together.

Emerald Tablet

Separation is reflected in The Emerald Tablet in the phrase; “The wind carries it in its
belly”. That wind is going to pick up pieces of us and separate them from other pieces of us.
This could be an Airy experience. We may feel like we are not “all here”, or that things “don’t
seem real.” The Air is the realm of Spirit. We may feel ungrounded, out of sorts, or like we

can’t find our center.

Alchemy

Remember that transforming unrefined lead into pure gold is a key metaphor in alchemy.
During alchemical Separation we are separating our inessential lead to essential gold. For
Alice, this was between her inessential logic and her essential feelings. As our elements are

Separated it allows us to save what has been purified from the previous stages of
Calcination and Dissolution, and to siphen off , separate, and transform what we no longer

need because it interferes with the radiation of the essential. It creates confusion, doubt,
unhappiness, anger. We do not want to hold on to these leaden qualities. We want to

entertain them long enough to build up the pressure and force to redeem them back into the
golden light of our true light essence which is love, certainty, abandonment, surrender, joy,
union with divine self and the sharing of that golden essence with the world so that they too
can be inspired to transform their lead into gold, to resurrect their original Light Being. We
all have it. It is just competing with our lead, until we can transform enough lead to begin to
carry our Golden Radiation again, and to keep it Shining, no matter what. Separation, will
allow us to see more clearly the distinction between our inner lead and gold, so that we get an
idea about what still needs to be brought into the light for purification. We all have fixed
thinking, prejudices, patterns, behaviors, that have been “hard wired” from past traumas and

fears that need to be liberated to work in accord with Light rather than against it.

Black Hole Anatomy Theory : Spaghettification

Remember that we have made it through the “event horizon” which is anatomically like the
outer rim of a witch’s hat. Once you cross that you cannot turn back. The gravity of the
black hole has taken hold. The cries of your soul have taken over and you have committed
yourself to reaching them to bring them back home to you where it is safe. Then, we were

stretched out by this gravity. We are pulled by its longing for us to reclaim it. We are
stretched so completely that this longing becomes our own. We have reached down into our
soul energetically, created an energetic resonance vibration, which we can use as a guiding

light into what seems dark. The third part of our journey into the black hole of our
unconsciousness (it could also be seen as a metaphor for the dark places within our heart), is
to undergo the process of “spaghettification”. Imagine that we are stretched by the forces of

gravity so much so that we are literally pulled apart. Our atoms will literally be dismantled,
separated, pulled apart, as we undergo this process of Separation while in the black hole.
We are allowing ourselves to be pulled by the power of our inner gravity, our missing soul

pieces that are looking for us to retrieve them back into the Light. As we dissolve our
attachment to identifying ourselves as 3-D matter, we become pure radiant energy. In time,

we will merge with the Singularity, and duality will no longer guide our lives. We will be 1.

Again, if we can remember that is what our Quest is for, it makes the process more
tolerable. For as long as our missing pieces are unclaimed by us, we will continue to Suffer to

work at bringing them back. But if we succeed in this Soul Retrieval, we will begin to
resurrect our Star Light, and for the first time we will see its true value, and we will guard it
with our life. We will not allow life or events to steal our light. We will then be Masters of
ourselves, able to claim, hold, protect, and radiate our Light. This is our Purpose on this
Planet. Though our lights are all a bit different and so our radiations lead us into different

adventures and services for humanity.

Stellar Evolution

The Alchemy of Separation can be seen as our Star continues to evolve, and has to shed
its old skin, which defies the pull of gravity. This happens as its nebular gas is blown away,

like a shell, skin, cocoon, or womb, which is no longer required to continue to bloom. It forms a
stellar wind that blows away. Inside, the nuclei of Hydrogen atoms are undergoing

Separation as they are literally ripped apart from their previous homes, face individuation,
only to merge later in fusion to create Light Radiation. This mimics the journeys we are
taking away from the safety of our old homes, to stand in separation, alone and naked, in
preparation for our reunion as Light.

Healing

Separation can be a difficult time where we are pulled apart by different aspect within
ourselves. Our logic and emotion may seem to be in a tug of war. We may be pulled in the

outer world by several contrary forces, which are seemingly asking us to choose sides.
Separation allows us to see the forces within and behind our own dual nature. It allows us to

bring those dualities into greater harmony.

Separation can be a difficult time. We have all experienced loss. Loss is what Separation is
about. Again our trust in the process that we are in is most important. If we can keep the goal

in mind, of total Star Self unification, then we can more purposefully move through these
steps, knowing that it is precisely what it takes for us to be complete Light beings again.
Obviously, we are not going to seek these difficult and dangerous adventures for their own
sake. Life uses events to push us into this work. It pushes us into the places that otherwise
we dare not tread because that is where the living light is stored. Without gaining entry back
into that Arc of Light, we cannot reclaim the Magic that we left there. It is time for us to see
that it is a code of Honor that we are being Initiated into in each step of this Death Defying
journey. We are staring our Death in the face and saying, “No”, playing the living dead is not
good enough for me. Being a disempowered walking zombie is not good enough. I am ready
to reclaim, to be responsible, to think and feel what I was created to think and feel, so that I
may represent That vibration on this planet. This will liberate others to feel free to express
their vibration on the planet. If everyone were just being themselves, a waking, walking,
thinking, feeling Light Being, who wouldn’t be OK? It is because we are all trying to appear
to be normal, OK, status quo, strong, blah, blah, blah, that nobody truly is OK. We are

trying to be a person that does not exist, nor should they exist. This “idea” of “normal”
personhood, was a bi-product of our culture which prospers on illness in every way shape and
form. How healthy could a real person be if they were always OK, strong, normal, productive
etc.? I want you to think about this. This idea of “normal” is an illness we are all feeding when

we refuse to be real, awake, thinking, emotional, caring, sensitive, and sometimes angry and
fed-up individuals. This “playing normal” is a sickness unto ourselves in terms of true integrity
to our true identity, but also to all who witness us in life, because they use our living example
as an excuse to be false to. We “put on a face” to “get through”, to “survive”. Nobody talks
about what is “really going on”. This is the good stuff, the inner laboratory where our light is

fighting the darkness in our own unique way. How empowering and liberating would it be to
have these real conversations with each other? It would dis-empower this idea we have of

being “normal” and false. We could be ourselves, in the world, understanding that our work in
the world and with each other is just an externalization of this inner laboratory of light and
dark and how these work through the unique circumstances called “our lives”. Separation
helps us to see that we are separate from the person we came here to be. We are separate
from the most beautiful thing we could say, be, experience, create, & wonder. We are
separate from union with divine assistance, grace, love, knowing. We doubt when we should
trust. We hide, when we should show ourselves. This is all about separation.

Separation for the Star Seed Culture

As a culture, we are all “turning our cars over” on the Interstate, going 85 MPH. We are
moving at light speed to have our Hearts over our Heads. Upon Initiation, we are all being

asked to surrender these outer shells (cars/logically trapped minds), through various
methods of “crash landings”, to re-experience our raw naked essential Hearts. We are being

asked to dig deeper into the battle armed with the weapons of our Hearts and Souls to
distinguish the Good from the Bad within. Not so that we can chastise, but so that we can
take the hand of that inner Darkness, personify it into something that we can relate to and
communicate with, something we can Love. Once that dialogue begins we can reach in, take
its hand, tell it that the battle is over, the Light has one, and that it no longer has to hide in

fear or shame, that our Heart is safe now, and that it can come back Home, back to union
with the Self, safe and complete.

This is the Beauty that Separation offers. Once we can get beyond the sorrow, we can
experience that we are all being Initiated into the Ancient Mysteries, the Codes of Honor,

where we are tested and trained to evolve our Souls at SuperSonicSpeed, to become
Immortals in a single lifetime. This may require several reincarnations in this single Body!
The only difference between the old Living Light schools and the new Living Lights schools
is that we have evolved to the point where we need no laboratory. We need no secret lodge.
We don’t have to have a guide, teacher, guru. We are the Laboratory. We are the lodge,
teacher, guide, guru. That is the purpose of directly working with the Star Beams, but we
must be Aligned and have the lower self on a leash, because in this great Work it cannot be

permitted to continue to sabotage with its fear, doubt, darkness & despair.

We have to “put our necks out” and continue to stretch and at times rip apart our old
outdated ideas of what it means to be human. Why was our species created? For what
purpose? We were fashioned as little Radiant Divinities, United shards of the Female/Male
Divine. What has gone wrong? We have forgotten, fallen asleep, given away our power to the
forces of normalcy, complacency, being agreeable, logic over heart, survival, toil, wealth,
greed, fear, human disempowerment. Our culture feeds on our feigned emptiness, inability to
feel, see, think, heal, surrender to Ourselves and the answers stored Within. What the
Universe is Awakening within the Star Seed, is that we encompass All that. This in not to
say we are perfect, but that we are being asked to be Aligned enough to be Guided by
Light, whatever form that takes for us. To be Initiated into the Star Portal, you must have
already Transcended totally identifying with your physical vehicle, your car. How Lucky
does that make you? You have worked and labored many lifetimes under the tyranny of
victimhood, slavery, and imprisonment. This is not that Time! Don’t get lost in the Past Time
Portal. It is Awakened in You, to Help, not to Hinder. You must be Present Here Now, to
Work with what is Present. We are SO Free we can hardly Stand it, and so we can hardly
Stand in it! Do you see how Free we are, and how we pretend to still be slaves, even though
that Time has Past(Passed) through us? Do you see how we are Afraid of being Awake and

Powerful, in the face of a planet that is Dying precisely because everyone is playing being
asleep? Not everyone gets that Chance to win their Immortality. Not everyone is asked to
Transcend the Life and Death cycle of Reincarnation. To be Immortal means that you have
“tricked” death. You have used the inner vision to see that “death” is not what is seems. We
Die every day, all the Time. What is thing great fear of Death? That great fear is instilled
from without. But we are not of fear anymore. Ask yourself what the world has to profit by
instilling this fear of death. Please think on this. For death is the road of the Immortal. It is the
golden “yellow brick road” of the Master & Sage. To see it as the “world” does require that

you forfeit your human opportunity to become an Immortal. We must project our Divine
Minds as far as they can reach within and without, and seek into the deepest recesses of our
Hearts. And if our Hearts are Pure and Intentions are Clear, we will find a Great Beautiful
Mystery surrounding this process that we call Death. It is in Essence, the transcendence of

the physical vehicle, by the Spiritual Essence, into the greater Field of Light. So again,
those who find they have been born to Earth in Space Suits, this is available to you. While
in the Field of Light, we have the Opportunity to receive higher frequency Light encodings
to help us to wake up while still in the physical Body. Light is homeopathic. So, when you do
this Light work it will conjure the Darkness in you. That is the Natural Way your Darkness
recognizes its own separation, and cries out to be noticed and transformed, back into Light.
Does it feel good while Darkness is being drudged up? It is like not allowing a spoiled child to

have their way and having to listen to them protest. The more you practice bringing the
Darkness back the more you will get used to the process. We must get used to setting
boundaries within our inner Kingdom, boundaries which we are consistently enforcing, or we
will have an inner Kingdom of unruly, spoiled, shadow children outcasts. Who needs that? Do
you really want to spend your Life being challenged for Power by such self-created Beings?

Is that what we are doing? Why? What is the trade off?

As you Awaken Light, it casts Light on your Shadow. It moves the Shadow upward toward
Consciousness and out of Unconsciousness, and is Redeemed into Light.

It isn’t supposed to be easy. If it were, there would be no purpose in this Earth Project. It
would be a waste of Time. Only the Wise will look beyond what the Fool has Professed.

You have died without having to pass behind the veil. You can “reincarnate” without going
through the physical death process, precisely because you do not identify with your physical
vehicle. So, for those beautiful beings who are always being told to “get grounded”, see the

wearing of your “space suit” as your Initiation. Don’t continue to take it as an insult. You
have been branded by Light to enter the Star Field in this Incarnation. You have been
Coded and Programmed to Elevate yourself and those around you in this Way. Yes, that

means we need to work on grounding, but those who are grounded need to work at
transcending. What’s the difference? Separation is the code of 3-D –light-in-formed-

duality. We are LightInForm(ed).

My Separation

I can remember when I was about 7 having a Levitating experience. What I remember is being
outside alone on a cold snowy day. I was near the mailbox across the street from my house.
Suddenly a wind appeared, that I recall lifting me off my feet and into the air. The voice of
my father interjected with a kind of “What are you doing, that is not safe” idea. I then got
afraid thinking I should not trust what was happening, not allow it to take me. My little sky
blue snow suit arms started flapping violently to get back on the ground. This memory has
come up a lot for me in the last few years as I excavate my own separation from my Higher
Self. I feel I took on my father’s fear of “the great Unknown” as manifest in Spiritual realms
on that day, and feel I was never the same since. It seems to have ended my childhood. Why
did I have to Doubt? If he was so wise why didn’t he Believe? What kind of planet was this
that I had landed on? Why don’t people Fly here? Why is there all this silly talk of always
being grounded, but not talk of taking Flight? Intuitively I feel that I was shocked when I got
back on the ground. Like my little legs were tuning forks and that Earth Vibration got lodged
in my lower chakras. Only recently, I had the notion that when the Time was right I would use

this “birthday present” stored in my body to help my Chakras to Reawaken. Since
remembering this experience I have met others who have memories of Flying as children. Were
we able to project parts of our energy bodies out there? I am not sure. There was something

we were tapping into back then. Why have we lost that?

Summary of Star Portal 3

Alice’s Adventures Alice tries to remedy her sad and wet
Emerald Tablet feelings with dry logic, but it does not help.
Alchemy She is experiencing how there is a division
between parts of herself, that she did not
Black Hole Anatomy Theory notice before. They seem incompatible in
their duality. The journey begins for “more
Stellar Evolution energetic remedies” to soothe her condition.

The wind carries it in its belly.
Separation involves making clearer the
distinction between our dual natures. It is
often a process of loss and liberation, in
order to bring us closer to the union we

seek.
We are torn apart through the process of
“spaghettification” as we follow our soul’s
calling in the form of infinite gravitational
pull. This turning into taffy, just to be torn
apart is a stretch from what was to what will
be. One aspect of ourselves is with our soul,
the other with the way things “use to be”
outside the event horizon. We are still in-
between worlds. Our atomic particles will be
crucified, as they are torn apart from their
happy homes, forced to individuate, and

stand alone in the sea of separation.
Our Star Being gives up its baby blanket
in the form of its nebular gas, which gave it
birth, being torn up and away in the stellar
wind. We are evolving to the point where we
are learning to defy gravity. This is quite the
magical feat, and will be used regularly as we

Healing continue to evolve and continue to decide to
My Separation keep radiating in line with our highest self.
We may lose things, thoughts, and people
closest to us at this time. It is the Initiation
into the aloneness that we sometimes
shudder to think of. We are asked to
transform loss into surrender.
Remembering my levitation experience as a
child made me aware of an experience that
seems to have painted my relation between
heaven and earth. I realized that I had taken
on my father’s Separation from Spirit and
that I was living that out in my life. I had to
reclaim my wings.

Journal 3

Describe an experience you have had with alchemical separation. Explain the association.
What was the lesson or message?



Star Portal 4
Conjunction

Trial by FireWater, Initiated into Union of Opposites

Alice’s Adventures

For Alice to move into the next step in her evolution she must begin to enter alchemical
Conjunction. This means that within herself she must work at unifying her opposites within,
her fire and water, her mind and heart. As she surrenders her old identity and the comforts of
being ruled by logic, she enters into the great unknown. She had to swim in her own tears of
water and face the limits of her mind and its use of dry logic. But there is a divine aspect of
mind that Alice begins to experiment with. She is in that in-between space when she is asked
by The Caterpillar, “Who are you?”. Her reply is that she cannot explain herself, because
she is not herself. Whoever she was, her little me, is no longer in the picture, but her big me is

not ready to take hold either. This is mirrored with the Caterpillar who too is in between
stages in his process of metamorphosis. He soon will wrap himself into a cocoon, go through
a mysterious transformation and emerge suddenly as a butterfly. In doing so, the Caterpillar
has the power of being the 2 in 1 of Conjunction. His being bridges the Earth and the Sky.

He is able to unite these opposites in one lifetime.

What Alice is encountering within herself, at this time, is the many different identities within.
She must find the one that looks and asks like a Queen, to take Reign of this new Kingdom.
She gets called a serpent by another character, and when she goes to defend herself against

being a snake, she hesitates because she is not quite sure who she is. The energies of the
unconsciousness are beginning to bubble, and there is confusion. Typically, the Conjunction

of Alchemy is seen as the union of opposites, and falling in love is a perfect experience of
these unifying powers of Conjunction. For Alice, she must first experience the opposites
that live within her to unite them. She is being introduced to her own inner characters, so that

later in her story she will successfully Unite her 2 selves, the big and little Alice.

The Emerald Tablet

The Emerald Tablet explains this phase of alchemy by saying… “Its Nurse is the Earth”.
With these words, we know that this process in alchemy will be grounding, as Earth is the

solid, grounding element.

Alchemy

The next step for alchemy is called Conjunction. This process is the union of opposites; the
yin/yang, dark/light, lunar/solar, magnetic/electrical, female/male, unconscious/conscious.
It is a turning point in alchemy as we rise from the heavy world of soul into the lighter world of
spirit. We fall in love and feel balanced and blissful. Our true selves are empowered, and we

rectify the things that need to be set right in our lives. We become clear about what
enlightenment feels like and what it is really going to take in our lives to experience lasting

enlightenment.

Black Hole Anatomy: Orbit the Light Ring

Once we have surrendered to the forces of our infinite inner gravity and have undergone
spaghettification, in order to be refined enough to continue our journey within, we enter a
new and amazing phase. All of our hard work begins to pay off here. So, let us return to the
inner workings of our black hole. My favorite variety of black hole is called the Kerr Black
Hole. This is a spinning or rotating black hole. This spin property allows for effects that
non-rotating black holes cannot afford. Kerr’s is the trippiest of black hole varieties because
it is theoretically the only one that might allow for interdimensional time travel. This is also
possible because of the unique qualities of the singularity within a Kerr Black Hole. The
singularity of a black hole is a central region of infinite gravity. It is the Heart of the Matter,
which is controlling everything else through the power of its gravity. It is like the Emperor that
once ruled your heart Kingdom but got dethroned. All that power is still intact, but it is in this
big dark abyss, called the singularity of the black hole. It’s kind of like a cosmic Bermuda

Triangle. Usually, the singularity in a black hole is both infinitesimally small, but
gravitationally infinite. What is unique about the Kerr Black Hole’s singularity is that it : (1)is

spinning , (2)is in a ringed-shape, (3) is time-like rather than space-like, (4) is a region of
negative space-time, (5)is naked! Let me stop there for a moment to explain.

You see Physicists believe that this spinning-ring-time-like-singularity would allow matter to
pass through it. Normally, there is considered to be no way out of a black hole because the
gravity is stronger here than anywhere else in the universe that science has discovered. This

gravity rips everything apart, as we saw earlier. What is said about the Kerr Black Hole is
that only objects that enter its Event Horizon “on the plane of the equator” would be

destroyed in the singularity. As a region of negative space-time, some Physicists think this
could mean that here, gravity would go bi-polar, and instead of playing as an attractive force,

it would become a repulsive one. This singularity could also become naked. This happens
because the spinning of the singularity could affect the speed of movement for the event
horizon. The theory is that the event horizon could speed up beyond the speed of light,

therefore it would vanish from our universe . This would leave an exposed, or naked
singularity. Remember that the event horizon is the point of no return. If this is stripped off,
we could gain “in and out” privileges to the “master mind” behind it all, the ringed singularity,
where all of our lost Light is being held Prisoner by gravity. Without the event horizon, we
could send our Light into the inner Darkness of our Heart or Unconscious and have our
Light return to us without getting trapped in that darkness. We can reclaim our lost royal
“ring” and return with the needed information to transform our reality in the here and now. We
have entered the leaden, heavy, dark, gravity and married it to us in the form of the golden,

light of consciousness/radiation/light. This is Conjunction; this union of the opposites
within us.

As we, in Light Form, approach our dethroned Emperor in the dungeon of the singularity we
experience the truth of it being time-like. It is said that as we orbit around the naked

singularity (s(he) had to surrender their royal robes), we are allowed to travel to any point in
the past. This means that we can journey into any point in our past story to heal it with the
Light Consciousness we are bringing to that now. We are no longer the scared children that
we were. It is our job to bring these missing light pieces back to the Heart center to be used

to resurrect our Star Being.

Stellar Evolution

In the Conjunction of our Star Evolution we have merging and marrying on several levels.
We have hydrogen nuclei being fused to create helium. We have the meeting and balance of

the opposites of gravity (yin) and radiation (yang). This creates a balance in the

simultaneous shrinking and swelling taking place in our Star. It is as though our Star is
allowed to fall in Love with itself. Its dualities have been refined enough to peacefully co-exist

in order to do the one and only work we want here, create and spread Light; Shine.

Healing

This is the Star Portal where you begin to be Initiated into the Powers of Time Travel. All
that you have suffered is available for Transformation here. You have come in as a Light
Being. You have stripped yourself down to the bare, raw, and naked Essence of yourself,
Pure Cosmic Light. Your Light travels where your Mind Intends. We are intending to
reclaim all the Light that we have Lost through the Trials of our Lives.

This is how it works for me. When I enter this singularity space I see the pieces I have come to
retrieve. (You might not see, you might hear or feel, use whatever way works for you). I see

them as shadows with glowing eyes. I meet my light with their eyes and telepathically send the
message that I have come to bring them to the safety of home, which for me is the Heart. We
then fuse through our radiation and I bring them back with me. The best thing about this is

that when it is done on the level of healing, you can begin to not only transform the energy
within, but by doing that you transform your very understanding of the trauma that led you to

throw that piece of you “out”, to abandon it. Once the energy is brought to your light, it is
able to vibrate with your Understanding now, which has the power to change everything. As

your present light energy intersects with the traumatized energy from your past, the
opposites are united and both are altered. You will no longer be able to see that event from

when you were a child the same again, because once it becomes infused with your Light
Consciousness as an adult, it will have a whole new meaning. You will understand why it was

perfect for you to experience that once terrible thing. But, if we cannot have this
Conjunction of past with present, light and darkness, trauma and healing, then we cannot
have this transformation. We have to touch the past trauma with the present awareness to
understand the lesson in the pain, practice forgiveness, and move on. I am using black holes as
a metaphor for our own inner spiritual anatomy because that is what I experienced within my
own journey. Sometimes it is too much to ask a person to Time-Travel. Their laws of logic

interfere. It’s not that hard to consider. It’s just the wording. We do it all the time when we “live
in the past”, get stuck in “past lives” or “simply” witness Star Light as I mentioned before.
The only boundaries of limitation are those we create if we allow ourselves to be caught in

thinking that we are merely physical, 3-D bodies or that our mind’s highest realm is logic. It is
time for everyone to know that science is confirming such crazy notions as those we have just
discussed. It was not that long ago when Black Holes were as crazy, insane and ludicrous as

physics theory got, then they were proven! Now we are moving into more ludicrous ideas
about time travel, teleportation, multiple dimensions , and faster than light travel. Soon,
science will prove them as well. Do your research. Find out what reality really is. As Above,
so Below. As Within, so Without. If these seemingly outlandish things exist “out there” than
we have these potentials as well. It has to be. I mostly say this because it has been my
experience, and therefore I know it is humanly possible. But then Physics is validating these
realities as well. We can all “fold time” and bridge our past with the present to bring in the light
that the shadow is crying for. It’s only in “the dark” because at some point we locked it out.
We are the Universe. It is Us! We are made of the very same things as our Star Dust. The
Work of being human is that our Dust has become scattered and our Light shattered. This
is what being human seems to entail. We are not strong enough in our Divine connection, so
all are life we let life’s trials distort our Light and scatter our Dust until we no longer resemble
Star Beings but some sort of mutant ET. It is our Work to Remember, Reclaim and
Resurrect our scattered, shattered pieces back into coherent Light. Then to Vibrate in line

with our Key, to Radiate this no matter what comes our way.

My Conjunction

Within the experience of my car wreck, I arrived at my Conjunction, when I moved into being
able to provide for myself what I had waited my whole life for men to give me. I needed to have
that union within myself to stop expecting it to come to me from the outside. It was time for me

to merge my fire-water to move away from seeking the solution to my inner work in other
people. Alchemy is not a linear process. You can be working on many strands simultaneously,
but may vibe mostly with one in particular. I feel I am always in Conjunction, because it will be
life long work for me to be the balance of forces. Allowing for more feminine-emotion-water-

heart is always at the center of what life is moving me toward. We are culturally obsessed with
the male-thinking-fire-mind, so many of us are working on reclaiming the feminine.
Conjunction Poetry
Leo
It’s hard to tell the time that passed, I counted night nor day
Just how long your eternal night lasts the wisest cannot say
It reigns until the prisoner, drinks the pure star light
And makes it through their own black hole by passing through its white
Those days they bled me barren, so at night I dreamed a cure
Of what those days could never bring, the night it would for sure
My prison bars they held me, as all good teachers must
Until through tears, my iron bars slowly began to rust
We talked until my fire was by water tame
Until my lion could no longer scorch the lamb to lame
Then suddenly I heard the tales those bars did tell
Of a girl that took to lion just to pass through hell
She said, “The bars they call me Leo, and I guess that name is fine.”
“But, though they call me Leo, that name’s not really mine.”
“For once I was a girl on fire full of love.”
“Til that flame consumed me, and sent me far above.”
“When the ash descended I saw the treachery,

that the lion inside that cage wasn’t really me.”
“So, soon I came up missing, though no one hardly knew,
that young girls can tap black holes, then must travel through.”
“So I cursed my fiery musings, damned philosopher’s mistakes,
tossed the key that knew my heart, and damned all that it makes.”

“My soul stared into darkness, to learn to travel light,
because my heart was bound by day, I snuck out in the night.”

“To become the little dreamer, sailing the sky’s sea,
traversing through the universe to forge my golden key.”
“Recaptured my magic carpet, journeyed with the Jinn,
to open up my prison cell, not without, but from within.”

“And what was a caged lion, was really more or less,
similar to the garments one wears, the lion was my dress.”
“To keep me warm and safe, all through that deep long night,
to be with me all through the hunger and ‘til the new daylight.”
“In good time my prison bars, they corroded ‘til they crumbled,
and soon I found I had become much softer and much humbled.”
“To see my iron devise was made to keep my lion from,
that lamb who would finish my fury and soothe my scorching sun.”

“I had to play the lion, until my heart could see,


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