Reader's Digest - 04.2020

FACING FEAR AT 10,000 FEET, P. 104

APRIL 2020

BODY FAT
SECRETS

You Need
to Know

An RD ORIGINAL

An RD EXCLUSIVE

UNSOLVED
MURDERS

That Still Shock the Nation

6 Why Are Our
Soldiers on
Fast Back
Pain Fixes Food Stamps?

By SARI HARRAR From NBC NEWS

Stop Worrying—
Do a Jigsaw Puzzle

An RD ORIGINAL

He Paid Off a
Stranger’s Taxes

An EVERYDAY HERO

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Reader’s Digest

Iil CONTENTS

Feeaatturres 76 90

56 national interest special report

cover story Why Are Military Heroes in the
Families on Food Heartland
THEY GOT AWAY Stamps?
WITH MURDER Twenty-five years after
Some of America’s the bombing in Okla-
Five whodunits that homa City, the tales
still confound the law. bravest are going hun- of courage and survival
amid the horror that
by bill hangley jr., andy gry. Why aren’t we do- day are as searing and
simmons, and marc peyser inspiring as ever.
ing more to help them?
68 by henry hurt
by cynthia mcfadden,
health & medicine christine romo, and
kenzi abou-sabe from
New Help for nbc news
Aching Backs
nomoco 84 104
Old advice: Pain pills,
shots, and surgery. The humor first person
science: Harness your
brain and go low-tech. How I Know It’s Spring Taking the Leap

by sari harrar Yes, the snow is starting A woman confronts her
to melt. But even better: three biggest triggers—
The Dairy Queen is all at once.
getting ready to reopen.
by eva holland from the
by philip gulley from the book nerve: adventures in
saturday evening post the science of fear

84

Reader’s Digest 10

Departments on the cover: bettmann/getty images
(woman), ooddysmile studio/shutterstock
6 Dear Reader (torn paper). this page: ee berger
8 Letters

everyday heroes

10 A Very Special
Tax Break

by emily goodman

14 The Wolf at
the Door

by andy simmons

your true stories

16 An Old Dog’s
New Trick

quotable quotes

18 Kevin Hart,
Margaret Atwood,
Soledad O’Brien

how to

20 Connect with
Strangers

by elizabeth bernstein
from the wall street
journal

On the Cover

Facing Fear at 10,000 Feet..................................104
Body Fat Secrets You Need to Know................... 32
Unsolved Murders .................................................. 56
Why Are Our Soldiers on Food Stamps? ............ 76
Stop Worrying—Do a Jigsaw Puzzle ................. 114
He Paid Off a Stranger’s Taxes ............................. 10
6 Fast Back Pain Fixes............................................. 68

2 april 2020

Contents

36 Humor department of wit

24 48 This Team Is a
Laughter, the Best Disaster

Medicine by victor mather
from the new york
35 times
Laugh Lines
news from the
46 world of medicine
Life in These
United States 52 Don’t Clean Too
Much, and More
51
Humor in Uniform 114

88
All in a Day's Work

joleen zubek (citrus and zen puzzle). life on white/getty images (horse) everyday miracles The Genius
Section
30 A Lifesaving
Traffic Stop 114 Piece of Mind

by caroline fanning by caitlin agnew

13 things 118 Brain Games
120 Word Power
32 Body-Fat Secrets 124 Photo Finish
You Need to Know
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Competition

we found a fix

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Reader’s Digest

DEAR READER

1111 1111

The Evil Truth

Afew months ago, I became Regular people caught from top: joleen zubek. matthew cohen
enthralled by a podcast series in frightening situations make
so dark I hesitate to recom- for page-turning journalism.
mend it to you. Every commute for
days, Root of Evil filled my car with but I believe I devour these kind of
the voices of two sisters, Rasha and stories for a legitimate reason: They
Yvette, as they uncovered four gen- concern the search for the hardest
erations of terrifying secrets within truths imaginable. What kept me lis-
their clan, the Hodels. tening to the Hodel story, for instance,
wasn’t just ghoulish fascination. It was
I’ll spare you the details here, some admiration. The voices of the family
of which (only some, thankfully) members reckoning with the horrors
you will learn from our cover story caused by their loved ones carried a
(page 56). But I won’t hold back on searing honesty that can’t be faked.
my own secret: I can’t get enough of
well-told stories about unfathomable If you, too, are drawn to stories of
evil like this. ordinary people experiencing the
worst their fellow humans have to of-
I was rapt when my catechism class fer and somehow coming out stronger,
turned to the first Biblical murder, of I do unhesitatingly recommend one
Abel by Cain. In college, I devoted my recent source. As I read the 41 tales
senior thesis to In Cold Blood, Truman in our new True Crime collection, I
Capote’s attempt to make sense of
the random murder of the Clutter felt each bringing me closer not
family in their home on the Kan- only to crime fighters, survivors,
sas plains. Perhaps my favorite and witnesses, but to humanity.
film character is FBI trainee Cla- The books are available at shop
rice Starling in The Silence .rd.com/truecrime. I think you’ll
of the Lambs, the every- find them thrilling reading.
woman who hunts for
one serial murderer with Bruce Kelley,
clues offered by another. editor-in-chief

I may be rationalizing, Write to me at
[email protected].

6 april 2020 | rd.com

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Reader’s Digest

LETTERS I needed help. He was
Notes on the my angel. Two things
February issue I want to emphasize:
1) Do not drive yourself
What Pets Want You to Know .•• to the hospital! 2) Teach
the people around you
I am hearing-impaired, as are my two what to do when you
children. Almost as soon as our “superdog,” have an attack.
Skippy, came to live with us, she seemed to —Nancy Lantz
sense that we could not hear. When some- Scandinavia, Wisconsin
one comes to the door, Skippy nudges me
until I follow her. She barks only when my Life in These
husband, who has perfect hearing, is home. United States

—Becky meyers Cedarville, Michigan I read the excuses for
skipping church to
Our dog Missy was so Losing Laura my husband, a retired
smart, I was able to pastor. He especially
teach her to read! I My sympathies to Peter appreciated the excuse
made five posters, each DeMarco and the par- “The pastor is too
with the name of one ents of Laura Levis. attractive.” He grinned
of her favorite toys. I Years ago, I did the and said, “Yeah, I al-
would hold the poster same thing as Laura ways had that problem.”
and name the toy, then and drove myself to the —nancy
ask her to go get it. After hospital during an payne-olewiler
several weeks, I stopped asthma attack. The Fleming Island, Florida
naming the toy and front door was locked.
just said, “Go get it!” Nowhere was there a A Safe Home
It took a while, but with sign for the emergency for Women
practice, she would entrance. I found a
bring the right toy phone booth down Great article about
100 percent of the time. the street, and while Kathrine Lee and Susan
—maggie roth I was trying to find the Kovaka saving women
Tyler, Texas number, a police officer from trafficking. I would
stopped and asked if also like to shout out
Dedee Lhamon, who
started the Covering
House in St. Louis
for the same reasons.
As someone who
has supported this

8 april 2020 | rd.com

from top: westend61/getty images. courtesy shannon vermeulen organization for many being born at 7:11 p.m. WHY READ
years, I know what a on July 11, weighing TODAY WHAT YOU
huge difference this 7 pounds 11 ounces. CAN PUT OFF
type of place has made My son was born UNTIL ... NEVER!
in helping women start on January 11, 2000,
a new life. Bravo to all! at 2:11 p.m. He weighed ✦ My wife told me
—sue wallace 11 pounds 2 ounces. about the very good
St. Louis, Missouri He was 21 inches long! article “Say Goodbye
—carol becker to Procrastinating.”
Kindness: Pass It On! Bristow, Virginia I told her I would read
it tomorrow.
Please consider making Correction
a collection of kind sen- —Kelly C. Niemi
timents a monthly fea- “Gifts from Their
ture. If we read about Hearts,” one of the kelso, washington
others behaving well, holiday tales featured
then perhaps more of in “A Time for Miracles” ✦ I really enjoyed
us will be inspired to do in the December/ your article on how to
so. Thank you for mak- January issue, was stop procrastinating ...
ing this a better day! misattributed. It was or rather, I should say
—rebecca krug written by Rian B. An- I think I will enjoy it.
Fond du Lac, Wisconsin derson and originally I haven’t quite gotten
appeared in the book around to reading
What Are the Odds? A Christmas Prayer, it yet. But I will, any
published by Deseret day now.
I can beat the odds Book Company. —M.J. via e-mail
of baby J’Aime Brown

Spook Us!

With the Reader’s Digest office located just miles
from Sleepy Hollow, New York—the setting for the
famous Headless Horseman story—we are always
in a Halloween mood. Soon enough, it will be your
turn. So we want to know: What’s the most mem-
orable Halloween costume you’ve ever worn or
seen? Scary, funny, or just strange—all are good.
Share your story (and photo if you have one!)
and see terms at RD.COM/COSTUME.

Reader’s Digest

EVERYDAY HEROES

1111 1111

When a Detroit man heard a woman was about
to lose her house, he opened his heart—and his wallet

A Very Special
Tax Break

By Emily Goodman

M ichael Evans was standing in the idea of this woman losing her
line at the Wayne County Trea- home right after losing her child. He
surer’s Office in Detroit last approached the window. “I don’t
August, waiting to pay his taxes, when mean to butt in,” he said to the ca-
he heard a disturbing sound ahead of shier, “but if y’all can get her house
him. The elderly woman at the win- back, I’ll pay for her taxes.” The
dow was crying—and so was the ca- amount due: $5,000.
shier helping her. Then Evans learned
why: He heard the cashier inform the The two women were stunned.
woman that her house was in fore- Their despair turned to disbelief.
closure and headed for auction. He The cashier left for a moment to con-
also heard the woman tell the cashier firm the amount and that it was all
that her daughter had recently died. right for Evans to pay it. Evans vowed
to go straight to the bank and come
Evans, a businessman who had just right back with the money. And he
buried his father, couldn’t stomach did.

10 april 2020

Michael Evans
(right) inspires

his son (left)
to continue
his legacy of

charity.

Photograph by EE Berger rd.com 11

Reader’s Digest Everyday Heroes

But when he returned to the trea- all the money the restaurant made
surer’s office, he asked someone else that day to the boy’s family.
waiting in line to hand the $5,000
check to the cashier. Evans was trying “We help people, me and my son,”
to slip away quietly and, preferably, Evans says. “We send a check; we walk
anonymously. into funeral homes and just pay for
the whole funeral. We try to help our
“I didn’t want this attention,” he community.”
explains.
Why does Evans give so much to
Of course, attention found him— strangers? It’s a question he never
it’s not every day that someone pays fully answers. “To be honest, I don’t
a stranger’s hefty tax bill. That said, like putting money in the banks,” he
Evans often finds himself on the says. “Doing things with your money
giving end of charitable situations, is better.” As for paying the elderly
woman’s taxes, he says he did it “for
EVANS VOWED TO no other reason but to make sure the
COME RIGHT BACK lady was in her house.”
WITH THE MONEY.
A few weeks after the tax incident,
AND HE DID. Evans received the Spirit of Detroit
Award for his lifetime of generosity.
though for years he went unrecog- Again, he didn’t want the attention,
nized for it. He is the president of M2E but his son felt the honor was over-
Investments—the name is a reference due. “It was good to see my dad finally
to his son (and namesake), Michael get the recognition he deserves,” the
Evans II. The firm owns a variety of younger Evans says.
businesses, from restaurants to a
portable restroom company, most lo- Michael Evans Sr. is nearing 60 and
cated in the inner city of Detroit and will retire soon. Before he does, he
many devoted to improving it. His hopes to convert some commercial
1 Premium Driving School gives driv- spaces he recently acquired into low-
ing lessons to teenagers, often for free. income housing. And he’ll continue to
In 2015, when he saw a story on the sponsor his local youth football league
news about a local boy with an incur- team—he pays for their equipment,
able bone disease, Evans held a fund- uniforms, and out-of-state travel.
raiser at his Detroit Shrimp & Fish
restaurant to help pay for the boy’s His son will carry on with the busi-
wheelchair and van. He also donated ness, and—no less important—with
his dad’s penchant for philanthropy.
“I model my life after him,” Evans II
says of his father. “When I have kids, I
want them to look at me the way I look
at my dad.” RD

12 april 2020 | rd.com

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Reader’s Digest Everyday Heroes

The Wolf the wolf clamped its jaw onto Matt’s
arm, set its powerful legs, and began

at the Door tugging Matt outside “while I was
pulling on his legs trying to get him

back,” Elisa wrote.

It was then that Russ Fee entered

By Andy Simmons the picture. He ran at the beast, kick-
ing it “like I was kicking in a door,” he

told ABC New York. The wolf dropped

R uss Fee was asleep inside his Matt and emerged from the tent.
tent last summer when a series Wolves are large, Fee told the radio
of screams jolted him awake. show Calgary Eyeopener. “I felt like I

Throwing on his shoes, he ran out had punched someone that was way

to investigate. Fee and his wife were out of my weight class.”

traveling through Can- Before the wolf could

ada’s Banff National turn its ire on Fee, Matt,

Park to enjoy its stun- his arms bloodied, flew

ning beauty and awe- out of the tent to re-

some wildlife. It was the sume the battle. The

latter he now encoun- men pelted the wolf

tered. Although it was with rocks, forcing it

dark, Fee could discern back, then the Fees

a neighboring tent in and the Rispolis fled to

shambles. Backing out the shelter of the Fees’

was a wolf, dragging minivan. An ambulance

something in his teeth. was called, and Matt

That thing was a man. Without Russ Fee (above), was taken to a local hos-
Moments earlier, says Elisa Rispoli, the pital suffering puncture
attack “could have been wounds and lacerations.
Elisa and Matt Rispoli, so, so much worse.” He has fully recovered.
from New Jersey, were The wolf was tracked
asleep with their two

young children when the wolf tore down by park officials and euthanized.

into their tent. “It was like something As for Fee, whom Elisa dubbed

out of a horror movie,” Elisa posted their guardian angel, he does ad- courtesy russ fee

on Facebook. For three minutes, mit to a fleeting, if less-than-heroic,

“Matt threw his body in front of me thought during the heat of battle. The

and the boys and fought the wolf.” At moment the wolf locked eyes with

one point, Matt got the upper hand, him, Fee says, “I immediately regret-

pinning the wolf to the ground. But ted kicking it.” RD

14 april 2020 | rd.com

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Reader’s Digest Truth in Advertising

YOUR In front of the grocery store, a bubbly Girl
TRUE Scout stood beside a table full of cookies.
STORIES “Please buy some cookies from me!” she
begged. “How much are they?” I asked.
in 100 Words* “They’re $5 a box, except these two kinds
over here. They’re $6 a box.” Figuring there
= must be something special about the two
$6 varieties, I asked why. “Well, these are
Splitting Hairs gluten-free,” the little girl replied. “What
about the others?” She beamed. “Oh, those
I work with kids, and are overpriced!”
I’d recently gotten
my hair cut. A little boy —Kathryn Thayer Spokane, Washington
named Jaiden asked,
“Miss Joanne, did you
get a haircut?” Trying
to be funny, I replied,
“I got ’em ALL cut.” He
looked at me quizzically
and asked, “What’s a
mall cut?”
—Joanne Rivera
ramona, california

To read more true “Man” of the Cloth After one particularly
stories or submit one, long tirade, she looked
go to rd.com/stories. As a church worker, I directly into my eyes and
If we publish yours in was sought out by many sweetly said, “Steve,
the print magazine, it people for informal I hope you know I don’t
could be worth $100. counseling. One single consider you a man.”
mother often stopped by
16 april 2020 to complain about all the —Steve Johnson
silly things that men do. oakley, kansas

Illustration by Hallie Bateman

An Old Dog’s sandwich he had packed for his
New Trick lunch. The dog had no collar. I said
I would take him to the police sta-
By Anna Heaney tion. When I did, the police told me
they did not handle animals. They
south yarmouth, massachusetts said I would have to take him to the
pound 20 miles away. I told them
T here was an old dog in the I was working and on the clock.
middle of the road who seemed I asked whether they could keep the
lost. You could tell he had dog until I got off work. If no one
loving owners because he looked claimed him by then, I would take
well-fed and he had no street sense. him home. They agreed. I got home
The basset hound was blocking at six and called the police station.
a busy street, and everyone was I was overjoyed to learn that the
stopped. A man was able to coax owners had picked up their dog.
the dog out of the road with a ham The police said the people wanted
my name and address to send me
*Sometimes 100 words just a thank-you note. I gave my infor-
aren’t enough! mation, but I never expected to
hear from them. Later, I was making
dinner and heard a knock on the
door. It was the flower man holding
a large, beautiful arrangement.
The card read, “I may be old, fat,
and hard of hearing, but you were
a wonderful woman to save my life.
My small owners are relieved that I
wasn’t killed. With much love, Bar-
ney the Basset Hound.” I got flowers
from a dog! They were a perfect
centerpiece for my table. RD

rd.com 17

Reader’s Digest from left: david fisher. arthur mola. ap. stephen lovekin (all shutterstock)

~I QUOTABLE QUOTES
1111

I had to take my son’s phone from him,
which is the worst thing to do to a child. He broke down.

He said, “Take my leg instead.”

—Kevin Hart, comedian

In the spring, at the end of the day,
you should smell like dirt.

—Margaret Atwood, author

They always say time changes things,
but you actually have to change them yourself.

—Andy Warhol, artist

The sky isn’t the limit—the sky has no limit.

—Sarah Barker, astrophysicist

I used to justify my terrible relationships thinking
I could get good songs out of them.

—Kacey Musgraves, singer

hart atwood warhol musgraves

from left: george pimentel/getty images. greg e mathieson sr/shutterstock. slaven vlasic/getty images I like to stumble my way into things because that’s
the only way you can challenge yourself.

—Colbie Smulders, actor

I stink at meditation. My first two minutes
are great, and then I’m like, “Oh crap, I need butter.

And almond milk. And eggs.”

—Soledad O’Brien, journalist

My best ideas come to me when I’m bored.
I’d love to be bored more, but there just isn’t time.

—Sam Reich, producer

POINT TO PONDER

Why do American warriors under fire do what they have done
since this nation’s inception? It is our love of nation, our way of

life, and our love for those with whom we serve, side by side.
We defend, we avenge, we sacrifice, and we are willing to die for

this unique creation, the United States of America.
—Staff Sgt. David Bellavia, medal of honor recipient

smulders bellavia o’brien 19

Reader’s Digest

HOW TO

Connect with
Strangers

Sometimes random interactions can
be the most meaningful

By Elizabeth Bernstein

from the wall street journal

.·.,. in a severe winter storm—when I tai11/shutterstock (2)
turned to the woman next to me and
W e were five minutes into said, “Hey, would you mind chatting
the worst turbulence I’d ever with me for a few minutes? I’m really
experienced—approaching nervous.”
Boston’s Logan International Airport
We hadn’t spoken much during the
flight, other than the usual pleasant-
ries. But my seatmate seemed friendly.

20 april 2020

I •

' ·"

In research

studies, Sand-

strom has found

~• that people’s
moods improve

after they have a

conversation with

a stranger—say, a

Starbucks barista, a

volunteer at a mu-

seum, or the per-

son next to them in

line. Overall, people

report that they are

happier on days when

And I suddenly felt desperate for a they have more inter-

. . .. human connection. actions with acquain-
. . “Sure. My name is Sue,” the woman
replied, smiling warmly. “What brings tances they don’t know well.
you to Boston?” I started to explain
that I was on a business trip. Then the And yet most of us resist talking to
plane lurched violently, and I blurted
out, “I might need to hold your hand people we don’t know or barely know.
too.” Sue took my hand in both of
hers, patted it, and held on tight. We fret about the mechanics of the
Sometimes a stranger can signifi-
cantly improve our day. A pleasant conversation—how to start, maintain,
encounter with someone we don’t
know, even a nonverbal exchange, or stop it. We think we will blather on
can soothe us when no one else is
around. It may get us out of our own and disclose too much, or not talk
heads—a proven mood booster—and
help broaden our perspective. enough. We worry we will bore the
“People feel more connected when
they talk to strangers, like they are other person.
part of something bigger,” says Gillian
Sandstrom, a psychologist and senior We’re typically wrong. Sandstrom’s
lecturer at the University of Essex who
studies interactions between strangers. research shows that people under-

estimate how much another person

will like them when they talk for the

first time. In a study in which she

asked participants to talk to at least

one stranger a day for five days,

99  percent said they had found at

least one of the exchanges pleasantly

surprising, 82  percent said they’d

learned something from one of the

strangers, 43 percent had exchanged

contact information, and 40 percent

rd.com 21

Reader’s Digest f

had communicated with one of the be on the ground safely soon," she arthimedes/shutterstock
strangers again. told me-that I asked her what she
did for a living. ui'm a retired physi-
Scientists believe there may be an cal education teacher, and I coached
ancient reason why humans are able women's volleyball;' she said. Imme-
to enjoy interacting with strangers. To diately, I could see what an awesome
survive as a species, we need to mate coach she must have been.
outside our own gene pool, so we may
have evolved to have both the social Sue and I talked—about our fami-
skills and the motivation to mingle lies, our vacations, our love of the
with people who are not in our tribe. ocean—until the plane finally landed.
Then the businessman sitting on the
You don’t even have to talk to com- other side of her, who’d been silent
plete strangers to reap the benefits. the entire flight, remarked that he’d
Multiple studies show that people enjoyed our conversation. “It dis-
who interact regularly with passing tracted me,” he said. “I was scared too.
acquaintances or who engage with I wanted to hold Sue’s hand!”
others through community groups,
religious gatherings, or volunteer op- When we said goodbye, I gave Sue
portunities have better emotional and a big hug and my card. A few days
physical health and live longer than later, I received an e-mail with the
those who do not. subject line “Broken hand on Jet
Blue.”
While reporting this story, I heard
from people who spoke of meaningful “I have to admit that I was just as
connections with strangers that led scared as you were but did not say it,”
to all kinds of benefits. One person Sue wrote. “I just squeezed your hand
took up the cello after chatting with a as hard as I could. Thank you for help-
woman on the subway who was carry- ing me through this very scary situa-
ing one. Another recalled how the tion.” She added that when she’d told
smile of a fruit vendor from whom he her friends about our conversation,
regularly bought bananas made him they teased her because they know
feel less lonely after he’d first arrived she loves to talk.
in a new city. A young woman having
trouble conceiving was buoyed by a I told my friends about Sue too. I
woman on a plane who talked about explained how kind she was to me,
the joys of being an older mother. and what I learned: It’s OK to ask for
help from a stranger if you need it.
When Sue Pernick took my hand Now if I mention to my friends that I
on that scary flight to Boston, I al- am stressed or worried, they respond,
most wept with relief. She was so “Just think of Sue!” RD
calm, validating, and reassuring—
“Yep, this is a little bumpy, but we’ll wall street journal (may 11, 2019), copyright
© 2019 by dow jones & company, inc.

22 april 2020

ff 1
How to Connect with Strangers

that people are happier on 7. Open up. Mutual
disclosure helps make
days when they interact connections.
with more acquaintances.

\'·1. Ways to 3. Ask about the other 8. Use humor. Everyone
Connect person. Everyone loves to can use a smile.
talk about themselves.
1. Be brave. We under- 9. Be sure the interaction
estimate how much oth- 4. Bond during a chal- is equal. Is the other
ers like us when we first lenging experience, such person enjoying your
talk to them, according to as when you’re stuck in a exchange? Watch for
research. So we’re not as long line or on a bad flight. signs that he or she might
boring as we think! Making a connection can prefer to be left alone.
make the experience feel
2. Chat with someone shorter and more positive. 10. Do it again. Just like
you see regularly, per- everything else, talking to
haps at the coffee shop, at 5. Ask for help. You’ll feel strangers is easier if you
the gym, or in the elevator less alone, and the other practice. And don’t worry
at work. Research shows person will get a boost if every encounter isn’t
from doing a good deed. positive. “You don’t ex-
pect every book you read
6. Focus on what you to be great,” says Sand-
have in common. There’s strom. “Conversations are
always the weather. the same way.” RD

- - - - - - - - - ~~~ - - - - - - - - -

Rejected Game Show Ideas

Whose Brine Is It Anyway?

Let’s Wake a Seal

The Hating Game

Family Nude

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire’s Butler?

The Price Is Unreasonable and
Not an Accurate Reflection of Actual Market Values

@shortsleevesuit

rd.com 23

LAUGHTER 0 ,

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“We never would have abducted you if we had known
how much you would criticize our driving.”

An elderly couple had tears. And if you are one: Have you ever
just learned how to sleeping, send me your blacked out?”
send text messages. dreams. I love you.”
The wife was a roman- Her husband texted “No.”
tic type, and the back, “I’m on the “And finally, ques-
husband was more toilet, please advise.” tion number ten.”
of a no-nonsense guy. —Lee Mack, comedian
One afternoon, the —friarsclub.com
wife decided to send In the foyer of a church,
her husband a text. A market researcher a young boy was look-
She wrote,“If you are approached me and ing at a plaque with
laughing, send me said, “Can I ask you the names of men and
your smile. If you are ten questions?” women who had died
crying, send me your in various wars. He
“Go on,” I said. asked the pastor,
“Question number

24 april 2020 | rd.com

Reader’s Digest

I ate dinner with a chess grandmaster mean they aren’t like

last night. Problem was, we had a us?” his colleague
checkered tablecloth. It took him two replied. “To err is
hours to pass the salt! human.”
—Submitted by

—chessninja.com Steve Smith

New York, New York

“Who are these peo- A scientist who made

ple?” The pastor said, contact with aliens

“Those are members said, “They’re nothing Got a funny joke?

from our church who like us—all they keep It could be worth $$$.

died in service.” The saying is ‘Err. Err.’” For details, go to

boy asked, “The early “Why should that rd.com/submit.

service or the second

service?” AMERICA’S FAVORITE PAST-LINES
—Submitted by

James Powers Grab some peanuts and Cracker Jack—it’s baseball

Woodbury, Minnesota season! And these wise old ballplayers may have had
their own ideas about who’s on first:

bettmann/getty images Words you’d think were ✦ Why does everybody ✦ Baseball statistics
cool if you didn’t know sing “Take Me Out to the are like a girl in a bikini—
what they mean: Ball Game” when they’re they show a lot, but not
✦ atrophy already there? everything.
✦ space bar —Toby Harrah,
✦ supervision —Larry Andersen, rangers shortstop
✦ extraction phillies pitcher
✦ dogmatic Little League is a
— @DanMentos ✦ You want proof very good thing because
baseball players are
“Doc, I can’t stop smarter than football it keeps the parents
singing ‘Green, Green players? How often offthe streets.
Grass of Home.’” - Yogi Berra,
do you see a
“That sounds like baseball team YANKEES CATCHER
Tom Jones syndrome.” penalized for too
many men on the OUOTA.BUL.A.RY. COM,
“Is it common?” 8LCACHCRREPORT
“It’s not unusual.” field? .COM

—gruntdoc.com —jim Bouton,
yankees
pitcher

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Myrbetriq. Your results may vary. frequency and leakage.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION

Myrbetriq is not for everyone. Do not take

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR Myrbetriq if you have an allergy to mirabegron
OAB SYMPTOMS BY TALKING or any ingredients in Myrbetriq. Myrbetriq may
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TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT your blood pressure worse if you have a history
MYRBETRIQ TODAY. of high blood pressure. It is recommended

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astcllas right away if you have trouble emptying your
bladder or you have a weak urine stream.

Myrbetriq® is a registered trademark of Astellas Pharma Inc.

All other trademarks or registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

©2018 Astellas Pharma US, Inc. All rights reserved. 057-2985-PM

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION (continued)

Myrbetriq may cause allergic reactions that increased blood pressure, common cold

may be serious. If you experience swelling of symptoms (nasopharyngitis), dry mouth, flu

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Tell your doctor about all the medicines you take (cystitis).

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healthcare professional and see Brief
other medicines such as thioridazine (Mellaril™ Summary of Prescribing Information for
and Mellaril-S™), flecainide (Tambocor®), Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) on the following
propafenone (Rythmol®), digoxin (Lanoxin®) or pages.
solifenacin succinate (VESIcare®). Myrbetriq

may affect the way other medicines work, and You are encouraged to report negative side
other medicines may affect how Myrbetriq effects of prescription drugs to the FDA.
works. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch

Before taking Myrbetriq, tell your doctor if or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

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Brief Summary based on FDA-approved patient labeling
Read the Patient Information that comes with Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) before you start taking
it and each time you get a refill. There may be new information. This summary does not take the
place of talking with your doctor about your medical condition or treatment.

What is Myrbetriq (meer-BEH-trick)?
Myrbetriq is a prescription medication for adults used to treat the following symptoms due to a
condition called overactive bladder:
• Urge urinary incontinence: a strong need to urinate with leaking or wetting accidents
• Urgency: a strong need to urinate right away
• Frequency: urinating often
It is not known if Myrbetriq is safe and effective in children.

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Do not take Myrbetriq if you have an allergy to mirabegron or any of the ingredients in Myrbetriq.
See the end of this summary for a complete list of ingredients in Myrbetriq.

What should I tell my doctor before taking Myrbetriq?
Before you take Myrbetriq, tell your doctor about all of your medical conditions, including if you:
• have liver problems or kidney problems
• have very high uncontrolled blood pressure
• have trouble emptying your bladder or you have a weak urine stream
• are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if Myrbetriq will harm your unborn

baby. Talk to your doctor if you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant.
• are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. It is not known if Myrbetriq passes into your breast milk.

Talk to your doctor about the best way to feed your baby if you take Myrbetriq.

Tell your doctor about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter
medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Myrbetriq may affect the way other medicines work,
and other medicines may affect how Myrbetriq works.
Tell your doctor if you take:
• thioridazine (Mellaril™ or Mellaril-S™)
• flecainide (Tamboeor®)
• propafenone (Rythmol®)
• digoxin (Lanoxin®)
• solifenacin succinate (VESIcare®)

How should I take Myrbetriq?
• Take Myrbetriq exactly as your doctor tells you to take it.
• You should take 1 Myrbetriq tablet 1 time a day.
• You should take Myrbetriq with water and swallow the tablet whole.
• Do not chew, break, or crush the tablet.
• You can take Myrbetriq with or without food.
• If you miss a dose of Myrbetriq, begin taking Myrbetriq again the next day. Do not take 2 doses

of Myrbetriq the same day.
• If you take too much Myrbetriq, call your doctor or go to the nearest hospital emergency room

right away.

What are the possible side effects of Myrbetriq?
Myrbetriq may cause serious side effects including:
• increased blood pressure. Myrbetriq may cause your blood pressure to increase or make your

blood pressure worse if you have a history of high blood pressure. It is recommended that your
doctor check your blood pressure while you are taking Myrbetriq.
• inability to empty your bladder (urinary retention). Myrbetriq may increase your chances of not
being able to empty your bladder if you have bladder outlet obstruction or if you are taking

other medicines to treat overactive bladder. Tell your doctor right away if you are unable to
empty your bladder.
• angioedema. Myrbetriq may cause an allergic reaction with swelling of the lips, face, tongue,
throat with or without difficulty breathing. Stop using Myrbetriq and tell your doctor right away.

The most common side effects of Myrbetriq include:

• increased blood pressure • dizziness
• common cold symptoms • joint pain

(nasopharyngitis) • headache
• dry mouth • constipation
• sinus (sinus irritation)
• ftu symptoms • inflammation ofthe bladder
• urinary tract infection (cystitis)
• back pain

Tell your doctor if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away or if you have
swelling of the face, lips, tongue, or throat, hives, skin rash or itching while taking Myrbetriq.

These are not all the possible side effects of Myrbetriq.

Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to the FDA
at 1-800-FDA-1088.

How should I store Myrbetriq?
• Store Myrbetriq between 59°F to 86°F (15°C to 30°C). Keep the bottle closed.
• Safely throw away medicine that is out of date or no longer needed.

Keep Myrbetriq and all medicines out of the reach of children.

General information about the safe and effective use of Myrbetriq
Medicines are sometimes prescribed for purposes other than those listed in the Patient Information
leaflet. Do not usc Myrbctriq for a condition for which it was not prescribed. Do not give Myrbetriq
to other people, even if they have the same symptoms you have. It may harm them.

You can ask your doctor or pharmacist for information about Myrbetriq that is written for
health professionals.

For more information, visit www.Myrbetriq.com or call (800) 727-7003.

What are the ingredients in Myrbetriq?
Active ingredient: mirabegron
Inactive ingredients: polyethylene oxide, polyethylene glycol, hydroxypropyl cellulose, butylated
hydroxytoluene, magnesium stearate, hypromellose, yellow ferric oxide and red ferric oxide
(25 mg Myrbetriq tablet only).

What is overactive bladder?
Overactive bladder occurs when you cannot control your bladder contractions. When these muscle
contractions happen too often or cannot be controlled, you can get symptoms of overactive bladder,
which are urinary frequency, urinary urgency, and urinary incontinence (leakage).

Marketed and Distributed by:

Astellas Pharma US, Inc.
Northbrook, Illinois 60062

Myrbetriq® is a registered trademark of Astellas Pharma Inc. All other trademarks or registered
trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

©2012 - 2018 Astellas Pharma US, Inc.

Revised: April 2018
206813-MRVS-BRFS
057-2652-PM

Reader’s Digest

~I EVERYDAY MIRACLES I'l

A Lifesaving Traffic Stop

By Caroline Fanning

Kemira Boyd had just jumped to cry. Now she didn’t make a sound.
in the shower when she heard “I’d been told to raise their arms when
her stepmother, Tammy Boyd, babies are choking, so I tried that, but
banging on the door. Kemira’s 12-day- she still was hesitating to breathe,”
old daughter was choking. Having Kemira told Today. She knew Ryleigh
fed and burped baby Ryleigh just needed to get to the hospital fast.
30 minutes earlier, the 24-year-old
new mother burst out of the bath- The trio had barely made it out of
room and began patting her daughter their Summerville, South Carolina,
on the back. Ryleigh was usually quick neighborhood when the flashing lights
of a police cruiser appeared behind

30 april 2020 Illustration by Gel Jamlang

them. Deputy Will Kimbro figured that began to fuss. Then came a whimper.
the speeding driver was either too dis- “If she’s crying like that, she’s
tracted to notice him or plain uncon-
cerned. Kimbro soon found out it was breathing,” said Kimbro, the relief pal-
a frightening combination of the two. pable in his trembling voice. “As long
as she’s crying, she’s breathing.”
Once she’d pulled over to the curb,
a frantic Tammy jumped out of the car, But they still had five more minutes
exclaiming that her granddaughter until EMS would arrive, and Kimbro
had stopped breathing. Desperate for worried that Ryleigh would asphyxi-
help, Kemira handed the baby to Kim- ate again. He continued with delicate
bro. He put a hand on her little chest. chest compressions and periodically
Ryleigh’s heart was barely beating. clearing her airway. “The whole time I
was thinking, Do not let this baby die in
Kimbro radioed for an ambulance— front of her mother and grandmother,”
it was seven minutes out, and the hos- he later told Inside Edition. “Just don’t.”
pital was even further away. That was
seven minutes Ryleigh didn’t have, her “DO NOT LET THIS
lips already an ominous shade of blue. BABY DIE IN FRONT OF

The fact that Kimbro was there was HER MOTHER AND
something of a miracle. He is a school GRANDMOTHER.”
resource officer who usually spends
his days patrolling the halls of the mid- In the body cam footage, Kimbro
dle school ten miles away. But he trav- can be heard reassuring Kemira, the
els farther afield when school is out approaching sirens wailing in the back-
in the summer. Even luckier: He had ground: “I didn’t feel a heartbeat ear-
recently completed a CPR class and lier, so I started massaging her heart,
knew exactly how to treat an infant. and now I feel it. It’s real strong now.”

“Although I was shocked, my train- After transferring Ryleigh to an
ing kicked in, and I went to work to EMT, Kimbro peeked into the win-
keep that baby alive,” says Kimbro. dows of the ambulance until it pulled
away. At the hospital, Ryleigh recov-
The deputy gave Ryleigh to Kemira ered quickly, and she was back to her
to hold, his hands busy as he checked usual feisty self in no time—thanks
for a pulse. Then he began tapping to a determined school police officer
and kneading Ryleigh’s chest, hoping who was in the right place at the right
to massage her heart back into action. time. Said Kimbro to the Washington
Thanks to the CPR class, Kimbro knew Post, “That baby was living no matter
the choking infant didn’t have a chance what I had to do.” RD
if there was a blockage, and he used one
finger to clear her airway. That was the
magic touch; 20 seconds later, Ryleigh

rd.com 31

Reader’s Digest

13 THINGS

Body-Fat Secrets You
Need to Know

By Denise Mann

1those extra pounds 2 There are two neck region, burns
should be avoided major kinds of energy rather than
at all costs, right? body fat. White storing it the way white
Actually, while being fat, the most abundant fat does, according
overweight isn’t gener- type, is what you feel to Scott Kahan, MD,
ally good for our health, when you “pinch an director of the National
not all fat is created inch” on your mid- Center for Weight and
equal—some may even section. Brown fat, Wellness in Washing-
be beneficial. found mainly in the ton, DC.

32 april 2020 Illustration by Serge Bloch

3 Brown fat may 6 Another brown 8 Just as brown fat
also ward off dia- fat booster: apple isn’t perfect, nei-
betes. According peels. Ursolic ther is white fat all
to a study in Cell Me- acid, a substance that is bad. Even though peo-
tabolism, individuals found in high concen- ple tend to demonize
with higher amounts of trations in apple peels, it, white fat delivers im-
brown fat had smaller increases brown fat. portant health benefits.
fluctuations in blood Other foods that contain It cushions and pro-
sugar and thus a re- ursolic acid include tects our vital organs.
duced risk of develop- cranberries, blueberries, It helps keep us warm.
ing diabetes. plums, and prunes. And, of course, it stores
calories for later use,
4 Infants have 7 Brown fat does keeping us from starv-
high levels of have its drawbacks. ing when food is scarce.
brown fat, which Radiologists don’t
helps regulate their like it, because the heat 9 White fat can
body temperature. it generates makes it sometimes be
Sadly, we lose it as we harder for body scans turned into
age, and adults have to detect tumor-related brown—it’s then called
only small amounts. activity in cancer pa- beige or brite (“brown
tients. Although there’s in white”) fat. Like
5 Adults can rev no firm evidence that brown fat, beige fat
up brown fat by any specific foods or burns calories and
exposing them- nutrients can activate can thus help combat
selves to cold tempera- brown fat, radiologists obesity. Scientists are
tures. In a recent study, routinely recommend still trying to figure
people who slept in that patients eat a out how the conversion
a mildly cold room high-fat, low-carb diet happens; one study
(about 66 degrees F) before scans on the points to a hormone
increased the amount grounds that this re- called irisin, which
and activity of their duces brown fat activa- our muscles produce
brown fat by up to tion. (This suggests that when we exercise.
40 percent. Sleeping a low-fat, high-carb
in mild warmth diet could boost brown 10 Fat cells’
(81 degrees F), how- fat activity.) Radiolo- sensitivity to
ever, decreased their gists even keep their temperature
amount of brown fat. waiting rooms warm changes means there’s
Cold showers don’t to avoid activating more than one way we
seem to affect it. brown fat. can get rid of unwanted

rd.com 33

Reader’s Digest 13 Things

fat. Cooling treatments, mechanism used in risk of heart disease,
such as CoolSculpting, popular laser and radio- liver disease, diabetes,
literally freeze fat cells frequency lipolysis and other health condi-
to death, explains weight-loss treatments. tions,” notes Dr. Kahan.
Anne Chapas, MD, But just because the fat In contrast, fat that is
the director of Union cells are gone doesn’t stored in your arms,
Square Laser Dermatol- mean the weight won’t legs, or hips doesn’t
ogy and an instructor come back. Remaining typically do much harm.
of dermatology at fat cells can expand
Mount Sinai Medical and new fat cells can 13 fat has been
Center in New York appear after heating linked to
City. The body removes or cooling treatments, brain health.
these damaged cells so they are not a substi- According to a study in
over several months. tute for healthy diet Neurology, people with
and exercise. higher body mass
11 heat can also indices (BMI) and
be used to elimi- 12 color isn’t waist-to-hip ratios had
nate fat cells, says the only telltale less gray matter—the
Dr. Chapas. “Several marker of how material in the brain
studies have shown that harmful fat might be. that helps process new
heating fat cells above For instance, excess information—compared
104 degrees F for a sus- fat stored in the abdo- with their leaner
tained amount of time men or around inner counterparts. But the
can cause the fat cells to organs such as the liver study’s authors can’t
undergo programmed and gut “releases in- say whether body fat
cell death,” she says, flammatory chemicals is the cause of these
and be eliminated from and other molecules differences in the brain
the body. This is the that can increase the or a result of them. RD

---------- ~~¥ ----------

Simpler Times

My ten-year-old daughter: Can I go to my friend’s house?
Me: Take your phone and text me every 20 minutes to tell me you’re OK.

Me, when I was ten: I’m off to the abandoned quarry with my pals.
Mom: Dinner’s at five.

@joeheenan

34 april 2020

Reader’s Digest

LAUGH LINES

To be or not to be a horse Do other animals
rider, that is equestrian. have signature
—Mark Simmons, comedian tranquilizers,
or are horses
A chicken just told me just especially
her top-three favorite stressed out?
composers of all time: — @atanenhaus

Bach, Bach, Bach. “No, YOU are a
drama queen,”
— @ericdadourian said the fainting

goat to the
opossum.
— @_Water_Baby

life on white/getty images Whoever named Barnyard The laminator
the ewe really didn’t Yuks is a device that
like female sheep.
sounds a lot
— @dawn_maestas more danger-
ous to baby
sheep than it

actually is.
— @Tups13

rd.com 35

the G ather round, one and all; our
show is about to begin. Prepare
FOOD to be dazzled, prepare to be
ON YOUR dazed, but we warn you—we citrus
PLATE are masters of disguise and experts at
melo e sleight of hand. You think you know
Po us, but no, you do not.
Clementin
Behold this deck of cards. Pictured
Citron on each card is a different one of us:
yuzu, kumquat, kaffir lime, and Meyer
Kaffirlime lemon; satsuma, Minneola, tangelo,
and Sumo orange. What names! What
I Am Citrus ... stylist: rebecca simpson steele, citrus courtesy pearsonranch.comflamboyant colors and sweet, bright
juiciness! Not to boast, but have you
The Great ever met one of us you didn’t like? OK,
Illusionist there was that bitter orange you had
the poor sense to bite into once—we
By Kate Lowenstein admit, we can be astringent.
and Daniel Gritzer
But all that variety is just an illu-
sion. Here, pick a card. Ah! You got
grapefruit, as large as a softball in
your hand and bittersweet on your
tongue. So distinctive and yet—what’s
this? Your grapefruit is nothing but a
cross between the pomelo and the
sweet orange!

This sleight of hand, you see, is
our greatest trick. All the variations,
colors, shapes, and flavors of us are
nothing more than a shuffling of our
four basic building blocks—the spade,
club, diamond, and heart of citrus, if
you will. And, dear audience, can you
guess the fab four? Not a chance, not
a chance! They are pomelo, mandarin,
citron, and papeda.

They all have their roots in Asia, be-
fore nature and humans crossed them
over and over again to create citrusy

36 april 2020 | rd.com Photographs by Joleen Zubek

Reader’s Digest WHAT’S BETTER
THAN A HIGH FIBER
variety. Love to squeeze lemon on
your fish dinner? It is actually a cit- BREAKFAST?
ron crossed with a bitter orange. Like
a blast of lime in your guac? Nothing A TASTY, HIGH FIBER
more than a lemon bred with a key BREAKFAST
lime, itself a papeda-citron hybrid.
And that grapefruit-begetting sweet WITH RAISINS.
orange? It’s merely a combo of man-
darin and pomelo.

Truth be told, we simply can’t help
ourselves, folks. We cross-pollinate all
too easily. Grapefruit pollen can fertil-
ize the flowers of an orange tree; lemon
pollen can mingle with clementine
blossoms. One of our favorite pranks is
when an unsuspecting human plants
a lemon seed only to get a different
kind of citrus tree altogether. Or one
adorned with thorns and no fruit at
all! We are remarkably unpredictable,
in part because our pollen contributes
different genes to every seed (similar to
how two human parents can create an
infinitely varied set of children). Forget
pulling a rabbit out of a hat—with me,
you have no idea what the hat holds!

You clever humans haven’t been
completely fooled. To bypass the un-
predictability, you learned to graft
branches—say, of that desired lemon
tree—onto rootstock to breed the ex-
act varieties of us you wanted. Nifty!

You also decoded the mystery of
our juice. Our fresh-squeezed nectar
actually becomes undrinkably bitter
in less than a day’s time. This was a
persistent problem until World War
II. Then some smarty-pants Army
scientists, keen to protect troops from

A GOOD SOURCE OF Reader’s Digest
FIBER AND A GREAT
SOURCE OF CRUNCHY CREAMY
ORANGE-FENNEL
DELICIOUSNESS. DRESSING

In a small
bowl, whisk
together 1 very finely minced small
shallot, 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard,
1 teaspoon ground fennel seed, the zest
of 1 navel orange (about 1 teaspoon),
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar, ¼ cup
freshly squeezed navel orange juice,
and 1 cup thick plain Greek yogurt (pref-
erably whole milk, but nonfat and low-
fat work too). Season with salt and
pepper. Serve as a cold or room-
temperature sauce with cold poached
salmon; cold roast pork loin or tender-
loin; or roasted carrots, butternut
squash, or beets.

scurvy, offered a contract to anyone
who made a portable, potable frozen
orange juice rich in vitamin C. (Sim-
ply freezing fresh OJ turns it into a foul
brownish liquid.) It was the USDA that
won the prize, by concentrating the liq-
uid without heating it, then—presto!—
adding a touch of fresh juice for flavor
before freezing the whole concoction.

By this time the war was ending,
so Minute Maid—it was called that
even then—was marketed to civilians.
But get this, dear audience: No one
went for it. The company lost a lot of
money in its first two years. That was
when that old Hollywood crooner Bing
Crosby worked some magic of his own.
In exchange for company stock and
cash, Crosby agreed to put in a good

The Food on Your Plate NUTS ABOUT FIBER?
CRUNCHY VANILLA
word for Minute Maid every morning ALMOND IS A GOOD
on his CBS radio show. “Ken, what’s on
the shopping list for today?” he’d ask SOURCE OF IT.
his sidekick. “Well, it’s Minute Maid
fresh frozen orange juice, ladies,” Ken vanilla Almond
would reply, “and your frozen food
store has it.” Sales went from $3 mil- ~ ""' ~
lion to $30 million in three short years!

Your attempts to preserve fresh OJ
without freezing also were cunning.
As juice loses its freshness, its sweet-
ness does a vanishing act—it literally
disappears as the juice turns bitter.
But your technologists had some-
thing up their own sleeves: additives
that approximate the taste of freshly
squeezed for that “not from concen-
trate” stuff in your fridge. Today Coca-
Cola, Minute Maid’s current owner,
has algorithms that analyze a quintil-
lion variables—that’s a one with 18
zeroes!—to optimize its juice’s flavor.

One last trick to close out the show,
friends. This whole time we’ve had
you riveted on our juicy segments,
distracting you from noticing ... the
citrus peels in our palms all along.
Now watch as we deftly squeeze
them to release a fine spray of oils.
Smell that? Those are our scents. En-
joy them by scraping our exterior or
squeezing a twist of skin into a cock-
tail. Honestly, ladies and gents, that’s
the zestiest bit of magic there is. RD

Kate Lowenstein is a health editor
currently at Vice; Daniel Gritzer is
the culinary director of the cooking
site Serious Eats.

Reader’s Digest

I WON!

MASTERS OF
MUSICAL

WHISTLING
COMPETITION

brad gassner, age 34,
St. Clair, Missouri

This was your first well with stage fright, work. I definitely annoy
major contest. What but I got dry mouth— my wife, whistling
made you want to enter? that’s a common side while doing the dishes.
I whistled “Danny Boy” effect of stage fright. It
in a St. Patrick’s Day is extremely difficult to Do you whistle any-
talent show, and I won. whistle when you don’t thing written in the
That was the first indi- have a wet whistle. past 300 years?
cation that I could go I’ve been listening to
on to an actual whis- Were you applying lots a lot of Grateful Dead
tling competition. of lip balm backstage? lately, so you’ll hear me
Oh, absolutely! We whistle that if you hang
But here you went all have our favorite out around me. RD
with the third movement brands. I’m a Blistex
of Mozart’s Horn Medicated guy myself. Gassner took first place
Concerto no. 4. That’s in the Stage 2 Classical
a lot to take on, isn’t it? Are you a whistling Pre-Recorded Accompa-
I’m a French horn addict? niment Division in this
player and I had per- I do it all the time. I biennial contest held in
formed several of Mo- whistle walking to and Pasadena, California.
zart’s horn concerti in from the cafeteria at
the past, so I was pretty
familiar with the music.

Were you nervous?
Generally I do pretty

40 april 2020 | rd.com illustration by John Cuneo

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Reader’s Digest 1

WE Dry Shampoo Your Dog
FOUND pets When you can’t give Fido a
A FIX proper bath with soap and water
(in cold weather, for instance), a dry
9 Tricks to shampooing will at least keep him
Improve Your Life* smelling fresh. Use baking soda or
a commercial dry pet shampoo. If you
lokibaho/getty images (dog), joleen zubek (baking soda)
go the baking soda route (it’s gen-
erally cheaper), massage it into
your dog’s coat, let it sit for
a few minutes, then brush
his fur until all the baking
soda (plus the oil and
odor) is gone. There,
now you can scrub
away the ground-in
dirt later.

Baka• npUgreSoda

*From RD.com reporting

42 april 2020

We Found a Fix

joleen zubek, stylist: mae lander 2 4

Pack a Power Strip Pack Away Plastic
Bags Neatly
travel Having multiple home Reusing plastic
sockets at your disposal grocery bags is eco-
comes in handy during friendly and cheap,
a trip, especially abroad. but they can take up
Pack a power strip and a lot of room. To store
you’ll need only one travel them efficiently, stuff
adapter. You’ll also be as many as you can
able to charge multiple into an empty paper
devices at the airport, towel roll and toss
where outlets are few it into a drawer or cab-
and the competition for inet. The cardboard
them can be fierce. tube keeps the plastic
bags contained and
3 makes it easy to pull
out one at a time.
Don’t Mix Ammonia
and Bleach 5

health Combining Make Frozen Fish Taste Fresher
these common cleaning
solvents creates toxic food If you want the fish that has been in your freezer to
vapors that, if inhaled taste like it was freshly caught, soak it in milk while it’s
repeatedly, can burn defrosting, then cook it. You’ll limit the fishy odor too.
your throat and cause
respiratory problems
such as bronchitis. Even
short-term exposure
can irritate the lungs.
Read the labels on your
products before using
them near one another.
Windex, for example,
contains ammonia, and
drain cleaners such as
Drano typically include
bleach.

rd.com 43

Reader’s Digest 8 joleen zubek, stylist: mae lander, backpack courtesy statebags.com, tile courtesy thetileapp.com

6 Get a Free Engine-
Light Check
Never Lose Anything
technology Are you always misplacing auto If you’re not sure
your wallet, keys, purse, or briefcase? why your check-engine
Low-cost, high-tech tracking devices can light came on, try going to
help. Two of the most popular are Ping a chain automotive store
and Tile. Both are Bluetooth-enabled, and such as AutoZone. They
the latest model from Ping also uses GPS. have a tool that deciphers
The devices connect to apps on your your car’s troubleshooting
phone that generate maps to your missing codes, and AutoZone will
items. Some users attach them to their provide the diagnosis for
pets’ collars or their kids’ backpacks. free. Then you can ad-
dress easy issues (a loose
7 gas cap, for example)
yourself and kick more
Make Ink Cartridges Last Longer serious problems (such as
a misfiring engine) over to
money Documents created with fonts that were your trusted expert.
originally made for typewriters, such as Courier
and Century Gothic, will use less ink when you print 9
them. So will choosing the “Draft” print option.
Chase Away Deer
44 april 2020 | rd.com with Soap

garden Because most
soap is made with an
animal by-product
called tallow, it scares
off deer. Sprinkle shav-
ings in the garden or
hang bars near the plants
you want to protect—it
works within about three
feet. Avoid soaps with
coconut oil (deer like
those), and change the
scent periodically. Deer
are adaptable! RD

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't

“Sorry I’m late. Two roads diverged in a wood,
and I took the one less traveled by …”

LIFE After my beloved dog “Lucky fell out of
Lucky passed away, a tree?”
in these my daughter tried —Laurie Navin
United States to explain to her Lincoln, Nebraska
four-year-old son
The best gender- what had happened A local lumberyard
reveal party I’ve ever in terms he might was having an open
been to was the one understand. house, and my mother
where I gave birth to really wanted to go.
a baby. “Remember that Dad, though, had no
— @2questionable baby bird we found interest. After badger-
on the sidewalk the ing him with no luck,
other day?” she asked. she finally said, “If
you don’t go, I’ll be
As the truth sank
in, Ian grew alarmed:

46 april 2020 Cartoon by Harley Schwadron

Reader’s Digest

People say, “I’m taking it one day at a fall on Friday the 13th.

time.” You know what? So is everybody. It was my mother.
That’s how time works. ✦ That islands don’t
tip over if you put too

—hannibal buress, comedian much weight on the

edge.

the only woman there.” that neither is “the one ✦ That Earth has one

Dad shrugged. “If that is always hot.” moon. The new moon

I go, you’ll still be the ✦ That Halloween has on the calendar every

only woman there.” never and will never month confused her.

—Gerald E.

Bronnenberg

Nixa, Missouri ON SECOND THOUGHT, I’LL DRIVE

Adult or a dolt? Actual Jessie Char 0
things grown-ups have
had to have explained OjHtttdW
to them, as shared on
reddit.com: Today, I flew on the set of a nightmare.
✦ Why a room below
sea level on a cruise
ship would not have
a balcony.
✦ That there are more
than six bones in the
human body ... she
thought it was head,
back, arms, and legs.
✦ In regard to the
North and South Poles,

courtesy jessie char Got a funny story
about friends or
family? It could be
worth $$$. For details,
go to rd.com/submit.

rd.com 47

Reader’s Digest

DEPARTMENT OF WIT

1111 iill

This Team Is a
Disaster

Sports franchise names that make

their fans want to call a mover

48 april 2020 By Victor Mather

from the new york times

ILLUSTRATIONs by Michael Byers