Reader's Digest_Sept 2021

while also switching to a Mediterra- asthma and eczema. In fact, Finlay and
nean diet, which is rich in microbiome- other UBC researchers found that peo-
enhancing whole grains, vegetables, ple who had been prescribed antibiot-
fruits and lean protein. That group ics before age one were twice as likely
had a much greater reduction in their to develop asthma by age five—and
depression than the others. the risk increased with every course
of the medication.
You have allergies
The impact of a less diverse gut per-
A diverse microbiome can help regu- sist into adulthood. When researchers
late your immune system, especially with the American Gut Project analyzed
early in life. So if your immune system the gut microbiomes of more than 1,800
is hypersensitive because your micro- people with allergies, they found that
biome isn’t up to the job, it increases those with seasonal allergies and nut
your chances of having allergies, allergies had less diversity in their gut.
asthma and eczema.
HOW YOU CAN IMPROVE
That’s why exposure to a variety of YOUR GUT MICROBIOME
bacteria, starting right when you’re
born, is so important. Kids who are There isn’t a magic all-purpose prescrip-
born vaginally are less likely to have tion that will improve everyone’s gut
allergies than those born by C-section— health, though researchers are hopeful
and so are people who are raised on that within five years, microbiome tests
farms, have pets or grow up with germy will be detailed enough to prescribe
older siblings in the house. The thing personalized probiotics or make other
is, all this needs to happen really early patient-specific recommendations.
in life. “After one year, it’s too late. The But there are some changes experts
immune system has already made up recommend that can help right now.
its mind,” says B. Brett Finlay, a micro-
biology professor at the University of 1. Eat more fibre
British Columbia and author of Let
Them Eat Dirt. One of the most well proven connec-
tions between lifestyle and gut health
According to Finlay, antibiotic use is that eating more fibre creates a better
can also have a big impact: as it wipes microbiome. Fibre is the main food
out the bacteria making you sick, it will source for the most important gut bac-
also indiscriminately wipe out bacteria teria, so not getting enough starves
that keep your gut diverse and healthy. them, and many of them die off. That
That raises the risk your gut microbi- means they may produce fewer of
ome will be inadequate for warding off those short-chain fatty acids and other
the conditions that cause allergies,

rd.ca 49

reader’s digest

important components of your diet, were to suddenly swear off eating your
and they’ll begin consuming the mucus salad in favour of fries, he adds, “Your
that lines and protects your gut. microbiome would change within 24
hours, with a decrease in the healthy
Unfortunately, most people across microbes that plant fibre promotes.”
Western countries don’t get enough
fibre. For example, according to Julie 3. Avoid unnecessary
Thompson, information manager at the antibiotics
charity Guts UK, even though U.K. gov-
ernment guidelines recommend eating Antibiotics are a literal lifesaver when
30 grams of fibre each day, and the needed, but they do tend to throw our
average person eats only 19 grams. gut microbiome off balance by killing
even the bacteria you want to be in
To get your 30 grams, focus on eat- there, like the gut-wall maintaining
ing five servings of fruits and vegeta- Firmicutes and Bacteroidetes. Usually,
bles each day, as well as a whole-grain a plentiful amount of those two can
carbohydrate at every meal. crowd out bacteria that can make you
sick, just as it’s harder for weeds to
WHEN ANTIBIOTICS establish themselves in a lush lawn
DO THEIR JOB OF than in unplanted dirt. But when
antibiotics do their job of destruction,
DESTRUCTION, BAD bad bacteria can take over before the
BACTERIA HAVE A good have a chance to re-establish
CHANCE TO TAKE OVER. themselves. That usually comes with
a telltale result that something is off:
2. Diversify your diet diarrhea. While most healthy gut micro-
biomes can bounce back from that,
Your overall goal for gut health is to if yours is already unbalanced, Gib-
create a diverse microbiome. And it’s bons says antibiotics could lead to
not just fibre that provides sustenance issues like IBS.
for good bacteria—other things in our
meals do, too. If you eat a large variety To help prevent antibiotic-caused
of foods, including many different types diarrhea, you can take a probiotic the
and colours of fruits and vegetables, same day as you start your antibiotics.
that variety will promote a healthy gut. A 2017 University of Copenhagen
review found that only 8 per cent of
Not all food is helpful: high-fat pro- people who took probiotics developed
cessed foods deplete healthy bacterial diarrhea when they took antibiotics,
strains and make your gut less diverse compared with 18 per cent of those
in general, says Chang. In fact, if you who took placebos.

50 september 2021

Most importantly, make sure you specific brands so you’re not wasting
really need an antibiotic before you your money on random products. In
take it. According to the Centers for the meantime, scientists are working
Disease Control and Prevention, at least to understand them better. “Within the
30 per cent of antibiotic prescriptions next five to 10 years, I believe we’ll start
are unnecessary. to see medical grade probiotics hitting
the consumer market,” says Gibbons.
4. Talk to your doctor
about probiotics 5. Fit in a workout

As mentioned, probiotics have been Regular exercise changes your gut
proven to prevent diarrhea while taking microbiome for the better—at least
antibiotics. They may also protect peo- according to some early research on
ple when they’re travelling to a country the topic. A 2016 University of British
where the bacteria in the food and water Columbia study found that athletes
are different from those back home. with the best cardiorespiratory fit-
Most usefully, though, they may help ness levels—a marker that measures
people who have IBS, although their how well your body can move oxygen
effectiveness has yet to be confirmed in to where it’s needed—also had more
studies. Anecdotally, however, experts diversity in their gut health. Another
say they can work for some people and study, from Spain, found that women
continue to encourage patients to try who did three hours of exercise a
them for gut-related issues. It’s best week—even just brisk walking—
to try them only at the direction of a improved the composition of their
health care provider, who can suggest gut microbiome.

Odes to Autumn

I would rather sit on a pumpkin,
and have it all to myself,

than be crowded on a velvet cushion.

HENRY DAVID THOREAU

Autumn is second spring,
when every leaf is a flower.

ALBERT CAMUS

When all the lives we ever lived
and all the lives to be are full of trees and changing leaves.

VIRGINIA WOOLF

rd.ca 51

DRAMA IN REAL LIFE

A SPEEDING BOAT NEARLY KILLED CARTER VISS.
HE VOWED TO WORK WITH THE DRIVER TO MAKE SURE

IT NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN.

FORGIVENESS
COMES FROM

THE HEART

BY Gary Stephen Ross

photograph by erika larsen

52 september 2021

reader’s digest

Carter Viss, near
where he was

snorkelling on the
day of the accident.

reader’s digest

BENEATH THE
OCEAN’S SURFACE

waits a different world—quiet, full of for Viss’s personal collection. Finally,
wonder, shimmering with life. Carter around noon, they headed for shore.
Viss loved that world. It’s why he left
Colorado to study marine biology at To a diver underwater, outboard
Palm Beach Atlantic University. It’s engines have a clear, unmistakable
why he got a job at the Loggerhead sound. On the surface, however, swim-
Marinelife Center, just up Highway 1 ming the crawl, Viss didn’t hear the
on Florida’s east coast. And it’s why he powerboat until it was almost on top
spent so much free time snorkelling in of him. When he saw it, he knew he
the reef system just a couple hundred had just an instant. He pulled des-
metres from the famous Breakers perately to one side, getting his head
resort in Palm Beach. and upper torso out of the boat’s path
before it ran him over.
This particular Thursday morning—
November 28, 2019—was especially He braced and tumbled. The seawa-
nice. It was Thanksgiving. Tourists and ter around him turned crimson. A sev-
locals alike hit the beaches. The water ered limb was sinking to the bottom—
was flat, the sky blue and the under- a human arm, the hand enclosed in a
water visibility spectacular. Twenty- black diver’s glove.
five-year-old Viss and his 32-year-old
co-worker, Andy Earl, spent a couple This couldn’t be happening, he
of hours among the sharks, eels, tur- thought. It was too bizarre.
tles, octopus, lionfish and angelfish.
They netted some small specimens Inhaling blood and seawater, Viss
realized he would drown if he didn’t
swim. But he couldn’t swim. His right
arm was gone. Both his legs were

54 september 2021

smashed, dangling uselessly beneath urgently. It was powered by three mas-
him, and his remaining hand was dam- sive 400-horsepower Mercury outboard
aged. Screaming for his life, he slipped engines with five-blade propellers. On
beneath the surface. board were retired Goldman Sachs exec-
utive Daniel Stanton Sr., his 30-year-old
Andy Earl heard his friend’s mortal son, Daniel Jr., his son-in-law and two
terror. So did Christine Raininger, an grandchildren. Daniel Jr. was at the
expat Canadian who was sitting on a wheel. Horrified, in shock, he helped
paddleboard nearby and had yelled at Earl and Raininger load Viss onto the
the boat to slow down. They reached dive platform at the boat’s stern.
Viss at about the same time. While Andy
kept Viss’s face out of the water, Chris- I’m not going to make it, Viss thought,
tine squeezed his upper arm to stem the pain searing through the adrenalin. No
blood flow, then fashioned a tourniquet way I’m gonna make it.
from the cord on her paddleboard.
Earl, too, feared his friend’s wounds
Meanwhile, the 11-metre speed- were not survivable. “God is with us,” he
boat, named Talley Girl, was reversing reassured Viss, over and over, holding

After striking Viss,
the driver of the

Talley Girl delivered
him to the beach.

COURTESY OF THE PALM BEACH POLICE DEPARTMENT

rd.ca 55

reader’s digest

his hand as Talley Girl made for shore. Many soldiers he’d worked on had
“God is with us.” been devastated by improvised explo-
sive devices. Borrego did a quick assess-
Viss, a devout Christian, felt his fear ment. Major open wounds in the ocean
and panic melt away. In its place came are doubly perilous because the vic-
total surrender, a kind of blissful accep- tim’s bleeding is not slowed by clotting
tance. Dying felt like diving down into and infection is very likely. Viss was
another beautifully peaceful realm. clearly in Stage 4 shock, meaning he’d
lost at least 40 per cent of his blood
as it turned out, the worst day of Viss’s volume and was on the verge of multi-
life was not without things to be thank- organ failure. His right arm had been
ful for. Earl and Raininger being so close, retrieved by a diver, but there was no
for one. The speedboat reversing so hope of reattaching it.
quickly. The first responders who waded
into the ocean to meet Talley Girl. The Borrego noted the damaged left hand
ambulance that raced to St. Mary’s Med- and wrist. The right knee was dislocated
ical Center. The 12-person critical-care and deeply lacerated, the kneecap was
team, already briefed and suited up, nearly severed and the femur had a
that received Viss in the trauma bay fracture. The lower left leg and ankle
barely 20 minutes after the boat strike. were smashed, with deep gashes in the
flesh. The left foot was turning blue.
VISS HAD LOST NEARLY
HALF HIS BLOOD It was a miracle Viss had gotten to
the hospital alive, but every moment
VOLUME AND WAS ON counted. One option was to amputate
THE VERGE OF MULTI- both legs. Amputation could be done
quickly and would lower the risk of
ORGAN FAILURE. infection. Because Viss was young and
otherwise healthy, Borrego and his
Also fortunate was the fact that Dr. team decided it was worth trying to
Robert Borrego, a critical-care surgeon save them.
and the medical director of trauma at
St. Mary’s, was in the middle of his shift. Three surgeons and two residents set
The son of a Cuban fisherman, Borrego to work together. First came a guillo-
had come to America at age nine. Thirty tine amputation of the mangled stump
years at St. Mary’s and a stint at a field of his arm. That wound would need to
hospital in Iraq had acclimatized him be regularly trimmed and washed with
to dealing with massive trauma. antibiotics to ensure it was infection-
free before being closed. Next, each
leg was reset and encased in a fixator,
a sort of exoskeleton that maintains

56 september 2021

proper alignment as the bones begin trying to book flights on a holiday.
their slow process of repair. Fractures Chuck’s persistence paid off when he
in the left hand and wrist were also found two seats out of Denver that
set and soft-tissue damage repaired. evening, with a layover in Boston.
Three and a half hours later, liberally
infused with saline and eight units each If there’s such a place as purgatory,
of red blood cells, plasma and plate- it just might resemble Logan Airport
lets, Viss was moved to the ICU. at 4 a.m. when you’re so emotionally
spent that you’ve run out of tears,
The next 48 to 72 hours would be unsure whether your son would be
critical. The human body can only alive when you reached him. And dar-
fight so many battles at once before ing to contemplate whether, if he ended
shutting down. All anyone could do up with just one limb, it might be bet-
now was wait, and hope, and see if ter if he passed—this young man who
he’d pull through. lived to snorkel and fish and play gui-
tar and piano.
in centennial, a town outside Denver,
Chuck and Leila Viss were taking a THE NEXT HOURS
chilly, snowy walk after Thanksgiving WOULD BE CRITICAL.
Day church service when Leila’s cell- VISS’S PARENTS TOOK
phone rang. The call display showed a UP A VIGIL BESIDE HIS
Florida number. She assumed it was a
telemarketing robocall. HOSPITAL BED.

Back in the car, heading home to if logan airport is purgatory, a hospi-
start dinner, she saw there were two tal’s ICU could be the high-stakes room
voicemail messages. She put the phone in a casino. You can’t tell whether it’s
on speaker so Chuck could listen, as day or night. People move with pur-
well. It was a sheriff in Palm Beach poseful efficiency. The atmosphere is
County. As the mother of three active generally calm but intense. The differ-
boys—Carter was her middle son— ence, of course, is that what’s at stake in
Leila wondered: what’s Carter done? a hospital is not just money but life itself.

“Boating accident… lost one arm… Frayed and exhausted, Leila and
trying to save his legs.” Chuck Viss reached St. Mary’s around
10 a.m. The sight of their son in the
Panicked, weeping, they pulled into ICU, swollen and bandaged, right arm
a parking lot. “We took turns losing it missing, fixators on his legs and tubes
and comforting each other,” said Leila.
The day became a desperate, blurry
scramble—cancelling dinner, urgent
calls, sobbing helplessly, work plans,

rd.ca 57

reader’s digest

down his throat, was overwhelming. was 90 per cent won. I’ve got a long
Leila and Chuck had to be helped out road ahead of me, Viss realized, but
to compose themselves. I’m gonna make it.

So began their vigil. The Visses took He decided he would use his spared
turns by his bedside, where Carter was life to educate others about ocean safety
hooked up to a ventilator. He was tor- and conservation. Heading into yet
mented by hallucinations—“ICU psy- another surgery, he told his parents, “I
chosis,” doctors call it. He knew his fam- can make a bigger difference now than
ily was there, tearful and comforting, I ever could before.”
but so were strange, gruesome crea-
tures that were crawling all over him. Over the 68 days Viss spent in hos-
pital, his recovery felt agonizingly slow.
“Get them off me,” he begged. Actually, says Borrego, it was remarkably
fast. His parents noted each milestone.
HEADING INTO The first day he sat up. Being moved out
ANOTHER SURGERY, of ICU to a “step-down” room. The first
HE TOLD HIS PARENTS, time, after surgery on the nerves in his
“I CAN MAKE A BIGGER right knee, that he wiggled his toes. The
DIFFERENCE NOW.” first time he sat in a wheelchair. The first
day he ate the hospital Jell-o and chicken
Viss didn’t know he’d already had broth Chuck had brought him. The
four operations. Infected flesh had been morning he wore his own clothes.
excised, a titanium rod inserted in his And then, a week later, Viss standing
shattered tibia and hardware installed unaided, and a few days after that his
in his left wrist and right knee. Nor did first shaky, excruciatingly painful steps.
he recall the many emotional visits he’d
had from church friends and Logger- But another battle had just begun.
head colleagues. Heavy doses of morphine, oxycodone
and fentanyl had eased his pain. Now,
Chuck, as an employee of Oracle, as Borrego explained to the Visses, a
the software company, was able to work successful outcome depended on Carter
remotely. Leila, a church organist and getting off opioids: “I’ve seen many lives
piano teacher, needed to be back in ruined when patients can’t break free.”
Centennial. So Chuck took up residence
in a nearby condo and Leila commuted. The Visses have friends who’ve lost
family members to overdoses. Carter,
One morning, after Viss had been too, understood the gravity of the issue.
extubated, Borrego told him the battle He gradually reduced his dosages until,
determined to use nothing more than
Advil and medical marijuana, he tore
off his fentanyl patch. Withdrawal made

58 september 2021

Viss with his mother, Leila, and during his rehabilitation.

COURTESY OF THE VISS FAMILY for a harrowing few days, but then Viss, remembering a dream now, or a night-
as Borrego puts it, “has incredible men- mare. And I try not to think of what I
tal strength, just extraordinary.” can’t do and focus on ways to work
around things.”
viss was discharged from St. Mary’s
in February 2020. By June, just seven An investigation by Florida Fish and
months after the accident, he returned Wildlife found that Talley Girl had
to work. His duties aptly include help- been going at least 80 kilometres per
ing with the rehabilitation of logger- hour when it struck Carter. The agency
head sea turtles that have been injured faulted Stanton Jr. for operating a vessel
in boat strikes. within 90 metres of diver-down warn-
ings; reckless operation of a vessel; fail-
Today he can bend his right knee ing to maintain a safe speed; and failing
only 90 degrees. For a while, residual to maintain a proper lookout.
infections had him on and off antibi-
otics. He’s been fitted with a prosthetic Last September, Stanton was charged
arm but finds it cumbersome. All in all, with wilful and reckless operation of a
says Borrego, his recovery has been vessel, a first-degree misdemeanour
almost miraculous. punishable by up to a year in jail. “The
prosecutor gave us several options,”
Physical healing is one thing. The says Chuck Viss. “Carter insisted he did
emotional legacy is less obvious, more not want Stanton to face incarceration.
nuanced. “The accident itself,” Viss says, He said, ‘I’d rather have him working
“I try not to remember how real it was, with me on ocean safety than sitting
the panic and horror. It feels more like in a jail cell.’”

rd.ca 59

reader’s digest

A civil suit was settled out of court, conservation. Afterward, Viss went to
and last November the terms of Stan- Stanton Jr. and shook his hand. Tears
ton’s criminal plea agreement were flowed and the wall of silence between
made official. The court hearing marked the families came down. As the two
the first time Carter and Daniel Stan- men embraced, Viss said quietly, “Let’s
ton Jr. had seen each other since the make a difference.”
day both their lives changed.
One of their ideas is a better “diver
Leila and Chuck Viss had flown in down” marker. The current design is a
from Denver. Stanton’s mother, Mary, red flag with a diagonal white stripe.
was there with her son. Stanton Sr. Depending on wind direction, however,
attended via Zoom. Everyone wore pro- a boater may not see it. Viss favours a
tective masks because of the COVID- bigger, three-dimensional buoy, visible
19 pandemic. The two families avoided in any weather, with reflective strips.
eye contact.
In addition, Viss wants to see strict
Viss read a victim-impact state- speed enforcement. Most boat-strike
ment and then Daniel Stanton Jr. victims are simply people swimming
addressed him directly. Viss knew that off the beach. Close to shore, at a pop-
the remorse was genuine and pro- ular spot, a speedboat planing at high
found. “There was no doubt how he speed makes no sense.
felt,” his father agreed. “You could see
the pain in his eyes.” Has the legal resolution led to for-
giveness? “Forgiveness comes from the
Judge Robert Panse confirmed the heart,” says Carter. “I feel like I’m going
plea deal. Stanton Jr. was sentenced in the right direction. If I were him and
to 75 hours of community service, a had to live with the guilt and remorse,
year’s probation, a US$1,000 fine and I’d almost prefer to be in my shoes. It’s a
a mandate to work with Viss on legis- complex thing emotionally, but if I can
lation to enhance ocean safety and ease someone else’s pain, I will.”

Childish Things

Ah babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom
you can blame your farts.

TINA FEY

You cannot let your parents anywhere near your real humiliations.

ALICE MUNRO

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

ERMA BOMBECK

60 september 2021

LIFE’S LIKE THAT Statement Piece
The people in my Zoom
Pet Owners, Beware room deserve better
than the same three
hoodies I keep wearing
over and over, but that’s
all I have to give.

— AKILAH GREEN,

television writer

COURTESY OF CHERYL HANN If you hear me telling Humidity is just a fancy Either I’m losing vocab-
the same story twice, way of saying even the ulary or creating a new
just let it go. I only have air is sweating. language, but here are
six memories—and some things I tempo-
they all take turns. — @DARLAINKY rarily forgot how to say
during the pandemic,
— @JZUX “Yeah, but that was and what I said instead:
only one or two years ) “Long sleeves for
Workout De-Motivation ago.” —Me, talking legs” (pants)
I need a special playlist about anything that ) “Rinsing thing”
for when I deeply con- happened between (faucet)
sider exercising but 1991 and late 2019 ) “Anxiety tax”
then don’t. (insurance)
— ANNE T. DONAHUE,
— @AKILAHOBVIOUSLY — DEANNE SMITH, comedian
author
“Maybe he lived some-
how.” (Me, reacting to
a character on a TV
show who has very
obviously died.)

— SOPHIA BENOIT, journalist

Send us your original
jokes! You could earn $50
and be featured in the
magazine. See page 7 or
rd.ca/joke for details.

rd.ca 61

HEART

How I learned the hairdresser told me I looked like
to accept the Liza Minnelli. It was 1982 and I was nine.
hair that made It wasn’t cool at my school, in the Don
me an outsider Mills neighbourhood of Toronto, to
look like Liza Minnelli. It definitely
BY Veronica Antipolo wasn’t going to get me invited to
sleepovers and parties. And besides, I didn’t
photograph by mckenzie james even look like her. My skin was too brown
and my hair didn’t fall down and stay
62 september 2021 close to my head. Instead, it stuck up
everywhere, and there was so much of it.

reader’s digest

“I saw how I was
different from

other Filipinos,”
says Antipolo.

reader’s digest

“Comb your buhok,” my grandpar- the fringes. My circle of friends became
ents would always say. “How come you more racially diverse, mostly made up
don’t comb it?” of kids who, like me, felt like outsiders
in their own communities. I also said
But I did comb my hair! It just didn’t goodbye to my inadvisable method of
stay. hair-straightening: on an ironing
board, with a piping hot iron. So I
I know it’s only hair, but it kept me decided to rebel with my hair, wearing
outside of my culture. I saw how I was it as big as I could.
different from other Filipinos. Their hair
was straighter. Their skin was lighter. HER HAIR WAS LONG
AND CURLY. FOR THE
My immigrant paternal grand- FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE,
parents, who raised me until I was 12, I SAW A REFLECTION
were deeply rooted in Filipino culture.
My grandfather had formed a small OF MYSELF.
community of Filipino Second World
War veterans; though we lived in a For the next 30 years of my life, I was
mostly white neighbourhood, all their a curly lone wolf. On some occasions,
friends were Filipino. Because my though, my unease got the best of
childhood was filled with Filipino cel- me—I straightened my hair for Christ-
ebrations and events, I expected the mas parties and my own wedding,
community would be my default home thinking my curls were beneath such
in Toronto, my place of grounding. significant moments. I gritted my teeth
when I received backhanded compli-
Instead, it was like I was a visitor. ments from my aunts. The worst was,
Other Filipinos were always questioning “Finally, you look decent!”
my being there, like I wasn’t Filipino
enough to be part of their crew. I felt like Then, two years ago, I saw her.
a failure for not being the person I was By that time I was 45. It was a night
supposed to be—at least in their eyes. in April. The woman in question was
sitting at the bar during a comedy
Filipinos I had just met would always show in Toronto. I recognized her lid-
ask me things like: ded, almond-shaped eyes, her short-
bridged nose and the brown of her skin
“Are you full Filipina?” as features like my own. Her hair, how-
“What’s your last name?” ever, was long, curly and very much
“Mukha kang Pilipino, pero…” You
look Filipino, but…
But…my hair. This questioning was
constant. It happened so often the
encounters blurred.
By my early teens, I was tired of
floating alone and decided to land on

64 september 2021

unlike other Filipinos. For the first time personal stories about feeling less than
in my life, I saw a reflection of myself. pretty, less than Filipina.

I thought, “Is she another one?” Immediately, I posted “I love this
After the show, I sat at the bar with group” and uploaded a photo of
a friend. Guess who sat beside me? my curliest look. The replies were all
Curly, ethnicity-yet-to-be-confirmed positive. “Beautiful curls!” “You look
girl! She had barely landed on her seat lovely!” “Love your hair!” For the first
when I pounced. time, these words weren’t condescend-
“Excuse me, what’s your back- ing. Now they felt like a welcome-home
ground?” I asked, holding my breath. hug: accepting, genuine and ready to
In my excitement, I didn’t even bother let me in.
asking her name.
“I’m Filipina,” she said. My hair required no disclaimer in
“Yes!” I yelled, then gave her a high this space—I had been disconnected
five. But there was one more crucial from my Filipino community for so
question, and I knew my heart would many years and this, finally, was my
break if it was the wrong answer. homecoming. I wrote one more post
“Are those your natural curls?” after a few days of poring over the
Again, I held my breath. group’s pages. “I always deliberately
“Yes,” she said, smiling. wear my hair curly and I let everyone
“Cool,” I said casually. But in my know I am Filipina … I do this because
mind, I was running wildly around the I am proud of my heritage and I am
bar, ripping off my clothes and pump- proud of my hair.” I used to say this as
ing my fist in the air. an act of rebellion. Now, I mean it in a
Then she told me about a Facebook way I never did before.
group for curly Filipinas. My jaw went
slack. There are more of us? Of me? I I don’t ever intend to leave this
don’t have to be a lone wolf anymore. group. I’m content knowing that we
My unruly hair and my heritage will curly Filipinas, with our life stories
finally align. and, yes, selfies, have finally found a
I’d never been so excited to join a space where we can fully exist.
Facebook group. I went home, opened
my laptop and found it. I was surprised For my last job interview, I kept my
by how large it was: thousands of mem- hair curly. It was the first time I’d
bers from around the world, mostly done so.
residing in the Philippines. I saw post
after post of Filipinas sharing haircare People still compliment my curls.
tips, words of encouragement and “Did you do something to your hair?
Is that natural?” they ask.
“This is natural. It’s all me,” I reply.
“You’re so lucky.”
Yes, I am.

rd.ca 65

HUMOUR

HIT in the summer of 1989, at the age of 10,
THE I broke my elbow in my hometown of
ROAD Peterborough, Ont., during a rousing
game of street broomball. It was Neil’s
My family’s first RV fault. He was my 11-year-old, olive-
trip was also our last skinned Adonis neighbour who took
me out at the ankles with a sneaky
BY Megan Murphy cross-check. The worst part about it,
other than my elbow surgery and
illustration by graham roumieu failed relationship with Neil, was the
subsequent cancellation of our 14-day
family trip to the Maritimes.

Dad, eternal optimist and champion
of whimsy, came up with a Plan B: rent-
ing an RV. I was ecstatic. So were my

66 september 2021

reader’s digest

sisters: 11-year-old Kate and seven- flooding your entire living space.
year-old Kerry. Mom, who was not con- Somewhere around Perth, we checked
sulted, was not. For her, the prospect of into a campground. While my sisters
spending a few weeks inside a 12-metre and I tried to stow our belongings on
chunk of metal with her beloved off- high ground in the RV, my parents
spring sounded less like a holiday and were sloshing through water, trying to
more like spiritual penance. pump the tank and not get divorced at
the same time.
Our rented RV was the motorhome
equivalent of the tree from A Charlie Despite our soggy state, the next day
Brown Christmas. In other words, she we forged onward to our nation’s capi-
was the last one on the lot. We loaded tal. We arrived in Ottawa just as the sun
our belongings into our new ram- was setting, and Dad wanted to drive us
shackle abode on wheels and set off on by Parliament Hill to see her lit up in all
an eastern Ontario adventure. her glory. As we drove past, oohing and
aahing, something else went wrong.
First stop, the booming metropolis Every time Dad took his foot off the gas,
of…Gananoque? It was all so novel. We the RV’s head and taillights would go
played cards at the kitchen table— out. We had to keep the speedometer at
which doubled as a fold-down bed— 20 kilometres per hour just to keep the
while my parents navigated the 401. lights on—like a mash-up of National
Safety be damned! Lampoon’s Vacation and Speed. After
countless loops around the eternal
On the way, we visited Fort Henry flame, we took a sharp right and
and reluctantly abandoned the beast coasted into a parking lot a few blocks
in a parking lot to enjoy an hour-long away, where our damp and dark home
boat cruise through the Thousand on wheels sputtered to a stop.
Islands. Back aboard our moveable
home, we made meals and showered, The next day, our MP, who was a
and read The Adventures of Tom Saw- family friend, introduced us to Brian
yer by candlelight. It was an idyllic pic- Mulroney. We may have smelled a little
ture of a 1980s family vacation, until… bit musty, but we still got to have lunch
in the MP’s cafeteria. I told Mr. Mul-
“Mom, is there supposed to be this roney that I hoped to one day be the
much water on the floor?” first female prime minister. I can’t
remember how he responded, but I like
On the fifth day of our trip, we to think I can still count on his vote.
learned about “grey water.” A grey water
tank holds refuse from the shower or It wasn’t a luxurious vacation, but it
sink—water with bits of old food and was certainly a memorable one—and
dirt in it. As neophyte campers, we had our last on wheels.
no idea that not disposing of this water
regularly leads to it backing up and

rd.ca 67

reader’s digest

AS KIDS SEE IT

“I downloaded the parental control app,
but they’re still not doing what I want them to do.”

A first grader told me My kid: That’s how life No one runs faster than CONAN DE VRIES
that she doesn’t need works, mom. a toddler holding some-
school because she thing they shouldn’t.
wants to be a pineapple — ASHLEY ASHFIELD,
when she grows up. — @TOTALLY_NOT_ANG
Hampton, N.B.
— @TEACHERONTOPIC When I was a kid, I
My four-year-old: Can thought everyone had
Me: Every morning, I we get a cat? their own individual
pick up this action figure Me: No, they make birthday, as if there
and stand it up on the me sneeze. were only 365 people
shelf, and every night it’s My four-year-old: Can on earth.
on the floor again. you go away then?
— @EAJB98
— @THEDADVOCATE01

68 september 2021

As my mother, seven- My toddler is walking around the house
year-old niece and I saying “Oh no” over and over again. At first
were leaving church it was cute, but now I’m afraid she knows
one day, my niece something I don’t.
noticed parishioners
putting money in a col- — JAMES BREAKWELL, writer
lection box near the
exit. My niece turned to said, “Because I get to me dead in the eye and
my mother and I and take people’s money.” said, “You should prob-
asked, “Do we have to ably burn it in the oven
pay to get out?” — GAYDEN WARMALD, like our food, Mommy.”

— KERRY HAGAN, Victoria, B.C. — @MUMINBITS

Corunna, Ont. Me to the three-year- My four-year-old was
old: Want a cheese tor- trying to tell us a scary
My two-year-old is yell- tilla for lunch? story the other night
ing at me for taking too Her: No, that’s gross! and she ended it
big of a bite from her Me: How about a with, “And they were
pretend sandwich. Now quesadilla? dead…for the rest of
she can’t make another Her: Yes! their lives!”
one because we’re out
of pretend bread. — MARTIN AUSTERMUHLE, — AUDRA McDONALD, actor

— @HENPECKEDHAL journalist

I bought my son a book My two-year-old My two-year-old loves
about bats and halfway stormed past me in to play in the dirt so
through it he shouted, pyjamas while holding much that he’s begun
“What? Bats are real?” a pop-up book. When telling us that he wants
All this time he thought I asked him where he to eat dirt for supper.
they were made-up was going, he said in an Now, we have to sprin-
things in ghost stories. exasperated tone, “I’m kle ground pepper on
going to a meeting!” all of his food.
— @TRAGICALLYHERE
— @PAPANEEDSCOFFEE — EMILY STEELE,
I asked my five-year-old
granddaughter what she Recently, I was com- Kelowna, B.C.
wanted to be when she plaining that we have
grew up. She replied, “A too much stuff in our Send us your original
cashier.” When I house and need to get jokes! You could earn $50
inquired further, she rid of some of it. My and be featured in the
four-year-old looked magazine. See page 7 or
rd.ca/joke for details.

rd.ca 69

reader’s digest

Nina Hodder, like many
parents living paycheque to
paycheque, lost work because
of the pandemic. The story of
her fight to keep her home.

EVICTION
IN THE TIME OF

COVID-19

BY Raizel Robin

photographs by ian willms

70 september 2021

SOCIETY

Hodder and her family
live in a six-storey low-rise

in Toronto’s east end.

reader’s digest

AT THE END than half of Hodder’s income went to
rent. Although she was eligible for sub-
of 2019, Nina Hodder felt like her life sidized housing and had applied for it,
had finally become more settled. At 31 there was an 11-year wait for a family
years old, she had three children, aged of their size.
13, three and six months. She’d found
a two-bedroom, $1,900 a month apart- She’d only been in the apartment a
ment on the east side of Toronto, in month when she decided to withhold
the same building her parents lived in. at least part of her rent because the
She had steady work cleaning the pro- building’s landlord had yet to install a
duction trailers on film sets for $16 an promised radiator in her living room.
hour. Her fiancé, Glynn Broughton— Where it should have been a scalding
who is also the father of her young- metal pipe stuck out of the floor. Hod-
est—moved in with her, bringing along der was terrified her kids would get
his three-year-old son from a previous burned and did her best to block the
relationship. Home was crowded, but pipe with the living room sofa.
Hodder was happy.
Hodder’s building is owned by a
Broughton, a tool and die operator, numbered corporation that is marketed,
stayed home and cared for the kids so along with other buildings in Ontario
Hodder could work. Hodder’s par- and Quebec, using the trade name
ents pitched in with child care, too. But Golden Equity Properties. When I asked,
money was still tight. Hodder, who the landlord’s spokesperson wouldn’t
made around $1,500 a month, was the comment on maintenance issues.
main breadwinner. The family received
$1,623 a month in federal support for In the middle of February 2020, Hod-
low-income parents. That meant more der’s landlord served her with a notice
of eviction for missed rent payments.
Their dispute may have been resolved
one way or the other within a matter of
months, but then everything changed,
and not just for Hodder.

at the beginning of march, Hodder was
at work cleaning a trailer when a news
report on the radio made her realize
that the “novel coronavirus” she’d
been hearing about was now closing in
on her and her family. As a working
mother, she didn’t have much time to
think about it, but then, on March 17,

72 september 2021

Ontario declared a state of emergency— kids—not much was yet known about
and ordered its first lockdown. how the virus could affect children. If
her parents needed any help, she was
Not long after that, Hodder got a call the one they’d call on, and they were
from her boss. Since all film produc- at high risk, too, due to their age.
tions in the city were shut down, they
had to lay her off. Then, in April, the She called her boss and quit.
company pivoted to providing hospital
workers with a place to quarantine after COVID-19 WAS A
shifts in the COVID-19 wards. CRISIS MOMENT FOR
PEOPLE WHO ALREADY
Hodder didn’t feel she had a choice STRUGGLED TO PAY
but to take the work. But during that UNAFFORDABLE RENT.
first shift, as she donned an N-95 mask
and pulled on rubber gloves, her anx- one million canadians lost their job at
iety began to rise. By then, everyone the beginning of the pandemic, and
knew the COVID-19 virus caused dan- large numbers had to leave their
gerous respiratory symptoms. Hodder employment to care for family mem-
had had asthma since she was a kid. bers. Immediately, it became clear that
She used an inhaler to keep the worst younger, lower-earning women were
of it at bay, but she didn’t know if she disproportionately affected, as they’re
would survive an infection. Was she at overrepresented in the kind of service
high risk, she wondered? jobs affected by COVID—a list that
includes cleaners.
One day, while Hodder was at work,
Broughton heard a knock at the door. He It was a crisis moment for the 10 per
opened it to find the building’s super- cent of Canadians living in poverty,
intendent, who was holding his phone who already struggled to meet increas-
in front of him. The property manager ingly unaffordable rent. That fact wasn’t
shouted through the speaker “You’re lost on elected officials. As the econ-
NSF! You’re NSF!”—shorthand for “non- omy shuddered to a halt, many prov-
sufficient funds,” meaning that Hod- inces and territories enacted eviction
der’s bank account didn’t have enough bans to save tenants from being kicked
money in it to cover her rent. When out of their homes.
Hodder returned home and heard what
happened, she felt humiliated. The Ontario placed a moratorium on
exchange must have been heard by all evictions as of March 19, 2020. Hodder
her neighbours in the shared hallway. felt relief—especially since leaving her

Each morning she commuted to
work, she worried about contracting
COVID-19 and transmitting it to the

rd.ca 73

reader’s digest

job meant she wasn’t able to collect the and early summer. She spent her days
then newly offered Canadian Emer- juggling child care, her eldest’s online
gency Response Benefit. But whenever schooling and helping to care for a rel-
she left her building for groceries, she’d ative in recovery from a major surgery.
pass notices that had been posted by She longed for the days when it was
her landlord. Next to several that listed safe to go to work, which used to be
federal and provincial assistance pro- her only moments of relative calm
grams tenants could apply for, there and solitude from all the people who
was one that informed them that, needed her. Despite the upheaval, she
despite the moratorium, they were still decided to do the online coursework
expected to pay their rent. After all, the to complete her GED, with the hopes
bulletin added, no government relief of starting a new career as a personal
was being offered to landlords. support worker.

To Hodder, the eviction ban was her Then, as if one plague weren’t enough
permission from the government to to deal with, Hodder’s apartment
ignore her landlord. She’d seen Premier became infested with bedbugs. She
Doug Ford speaking about the morato- can’t remember when she started see-
rium on TV and remembered him ing the first bite marks on her feet, legs
saying, “[P]ay if you can, but if you’re and back, but it wasn’t long before
down and out and just don’t have the they got to her kids, as well. The land-
money, food is more important to put lord sent in an exterminator, but Hod-
on the table than paying rent.” der says by the time that had happened,
she’d thrown out her couch, bunk beds,
“So I thought, well, I’ll feed my fam- three dressers and her toddler’s beloved
ily,” says Hodder. Thomas the Tank Engine bed. “I had
no other choice,” she says. “The build-
Similar scenarios played out across ing didn’t act on it quick enough.”
the country. According to a survey con-
ducted by the Association of Commu- Even after her apartment was treated,
nity Organizations for Reform Now—a the bugs returned. Hodder believes
union of anti-poverty activists—an this is because none of the surround-
estimated 35 per cent of Canada’s 4.6 ing units had been treated, which
million renter households wouldn’t be would be the only way to stop the
able to afford their rent come May 1, bugs from continuing to migrate to
2020. Yet only 42 per cent of them hers. Although a spokesperson for
would qualify for CERB. The rest, like Hodder’s landlord confirmed they do
Hodder, faced eviction. not always spray neighbouring units,
he told me regular treatments are
life remained in a stressful holding scheduled for all apartments in the
pattern for Hodder into late spring

74 september 2021

building. (As for Hodder’s bedbug from government supports was quickly
complaints specifically, the spokes- eaten up by groceries and her phone
person did not wish to comment). and Internet bills. Some more financial
help did come, though. Hodder used
Hodder scraped together enough her tax return to pay half the debt, and
money to buy replacement furniture. her parents covered the rest.
In all, she estimates she spent $2,500,
including the price of a hotel stay during The sense of relief from a clean
the first extermination. After several slate didn’t last long. A month later,
complaints to the building manager, she couldn’t pay rent again.
the landlord agreed to book the pest
removal company a second time. in august 2020, as Ontario’s new
According to Hodder, it was several COVID-19 cases decreased and the
months before they paid a visit. province began relaxing emergency
restrictions, the province lifted its evic-
Meanwhile, Hodder says the amount tion moratorium. The process of evict-
she owed in rent had grown to around ing Hodder that had begun back in
$8,000. What little money she did have

rd.ca 75

reader’s digest

February during the radiator dispute ONTARIO’S
would now move forward to the Land- HOUSING CRISIS,
lord Tenant Board. In the first stage of BY THE NUMBERS
that process, tenant and landlord go
before the LTB for a case management 40 per cent of Ontario renters
hearing, where they attempt to come pay more than 30 per cent of their
to a settlement that works for both. If
they can’t agree, an eviction hearing income in rent.
is scheduled, which is when both par-
ties can state their case to an adjudica- Since 1991, the average income of
tor. Fortunately for Hodder, the pan- renter households has increased
demic had caused a significant backlog by less than 50 per cent; in that
of about 7,000 cases in Ontario alone.
Her case management hearing was time period, the cost of rent
scheduled for November. nearly doubled.

Meanwhile, Hodder had grown furi- 10.2 per cent of Ontario renter
ous with what she saw as the landlord’s households were in arrears as of
neglect of basic maintenance. She and October 2020; in total, they owed
her family could barely sleep because
of the stress caused by the bedbugs. approximately $87 million.
There was also black mould in the bath-
room, and the pipes under the kitchen The Toronto Rent Bank, a public
sink leaked. And all this was happen- program that offers loans to resi-
ing during a pandemic, when she and dents who are behind on rent, pro-
her family were stuck at home. For vided $3.53 million to approxi-
their part, her landlord’s spokesperson
said that, during the pandemic, many mately 1,000 tenants in 2020.
contractors were shut down, which
caused delays. But Hodder expected 13,000 renters faced eviction
better. Even if she could’ve paid some hearings between November
small portion of her rent each month,
she put her foot down. “I didn’t care 2020 and January 2021.
what I owed them. They owed me
more,” she says. She hoped continu- The law required Hodder to pay her
ing to withhold rent would prompt rent, of course, but she wasn’t alone in
her landlord to properly rid her unit refusing to. In Ontario, housing activists
of bedbugs and take care of all the coordinated their efforts to coach ten-
other issues. ants on their right to an eviction hear-
ing and how to fight an eviction. Sim-
ilar movements sprang up across the
country during the pandemic. In one
notable instance in Toronto, in a high-
rise not far from where Hodder lives, a
group of tenants calling themselves

76 september 2021

the East York 50 began sharing infor- that while Hodder did offer to use
mation and standing together to shout funds from the Toronto Rent Bank—a
at sheriffs coming to execute evictions. city-run loan program for people
That union, which grew to hundreds of behind on rent—to pay half of what
tenants, even found collective repre- she owed, she didn’t commit to a
sentation. After they did that, and as of repayment plan. What they both agree
June 2021, not one had been evicted. on is that it was a stalemate, which
meant they’d move on to an eviction
“In cities like Toronto, all legislation, hearing, set for May 2021.
process procedures, the court systems,
all are in favour of the corporate land- By the end of November, more than
lords,” says Sam Nithiananthan, a mem- eight months into the pandemic, Hod-
ber of People’s Defence Toronto, an der was distraught and unsure what to
activist group that fights for tenants’ do next. She’d long struggled with bipo-
rights. The job and income loss that lar disorder (she’d been diagnosed at
resulted from the pandemic, he says, age 16), a condition that can cause
allowed tenants time to sit still and won- extreme shifts in mood. At times, the
der, “Why am I paying this much money disorder created problems at work and
for a shoebox that’s filled with pests?” in her relationships. Normally, she got
through it, but the stress of the pan-
when hodder’s LTB case management demic was too much. “I asked Glynn
hearing arrived on November 12, it to watch the kids so I could go get help,
didn’t last long. To speed up negotia- because I was hitting rock bottom,” she
tions, the Ontario government had says. “I was about to end my life.”
passed a new bill that allowed land-
lords and tenants to make repayment She waited in a hospital emergency
arrangements without any assistance room until she saw a psychiatrist, then
from LTB officials. At Hodder’s hearing, returned home at one in the morning
the adjudicator asked if she would want with a prescription that would ease her
to try this, and she agreed to give it a go. symptoms.

What happened on a call between in the six months that followed her first
Hodder and her landlord, which took LTB hearing, Hodder completed her
place the same day, depends on whom GED and enrolled in online courses
you ask. Hodder says she proposed a to become a personal support worker.
repayment plan for all rent owed in She had hope for her future, but she
exchange for the repairs, as well as now owed around $17,000 in rent. The
reimbursement for the furniture and experience with the bedbugs and the
hotel costs related to the bedbugs. A maintenance issues convinced her it
spokesperson for her landlord says was time to move. Unfortunately, no

rd.ca 77

reader’s digest

landlord she approached seemed will- the amount she owed. And Hodder
ing to accept her family as tenants. In agreed to begin paying her rent again
one instance, she says, she was told each month, with an $846 monthly
her family was too big for the unit she top-up until the debt was gone.
could afford.
To keep her apartment, Hodder
This past May 5, the date of Hodder’s would need to find a job at which she
second online hearing at the LTB, it could earn enough to pay the addi-
seemed likely that her eviction would tional amount each month. When she
be finalized. By that point, Hodder returned from mediation to speak to the
wanted to leave Toronto altogether— LTB’s main hearing room, the adjudi-
rent was too expensive, and the COVID cator read out the agreement and asked
lockdowns were more restrictive in the Hodder if she understood Section 78
city. But with her credit history in tat- of the Residential Tenancies Act.
ters, she’d likely be forced to move her
entire family into her parents’ three- “Yes,” she replied. The adjudicator
bedroom apartment. had to use this legal jargon, but Hod-
der knew what was at stake. According
In the end, though, Hodder and a to Section 78, if she’s late or short on
representative from her building’s land- rent again, the eviction can proceed
lord agreed to accept one last option without another hearing. Although
for working it out, which was to nego- she’d still have ways to appeal the order,
tiate with the help of an LTB mediator. the odds of her winning the fight grow
In a private room of the online hearing, slimmer at each step—and 11 days
the two came to a resolution. The land- after a family receives an order, sheriffs
lord promised to complete repairs on begin planning a time to remove them
her apartment and deduct $2,688 from from their home.

Desk Graffiti Fodder

He who opens a school door
closes a prison door.

VICTOR HUGO

You can never be overdressed
or overeducated.

OSCAR WILDE

Education is what remains after one has forgotten
what one has learned in school.

ALBERT EINSTEIN

78 september 2021

LAUGHTER wicker basket in the
sky attached to a
the Best Medicine flamethrower. I have
to take off my shoes to
Master of Illusion “How’d you get that?” board a flight, but I
A Spanish magician the lawyer asks. can fly around on
told everyone he would patio furniture?
disappear. He said, St. Peter replies:
“Uno, dos...” “We do it by billable — RYAN HAMILTON,
hours now.”
Then he vanished comedian
without a très. — LAUGHFACTORY.COM
I once worked with
— REDDIT.COM I would never give my someone who told
quarantine pets away, customers “Sorry, it’s
A lawyer dies and goes but every time they my first day” any
to heaven. attempt to destroy my time she messed up.
house, I like to remind She did it for two
“There must be some them that some people years straight.
mistake,” the lawyer actually do.
argues. “I’m too young — @MAKAYLATHINKS
to die. I’m only 45.” — KATE WILLETT, writer
Send us your original
“Forty-five?” says Safety Risk jokes! You could earn $50
St. Peter. “No, according Hot-air balloons are and be featured in the
to our calculations, terrifying. It’s a tiny magazine. See page 7 or
you’re 135.” rd.ca/joke for details.

PASCAL LAMOTHE-KIPNES THE BEST JOKE I EVER TOLD

By Alistair Ogden

The municipal transit service where I live sells
merch on their website—hoodies, shirts, hats,
the works. Which is bizarre because I’ve never
taken a bus and thought, “Wow, this is so good
I need to add it to my wardrobe.”

Alistair Ogden is a Vancouver-based comedian
and writer.

rd.ca 79

reader’s digest
80 september 2021

FAMILY

In Dogs
We Trust

What I learned from my constant companions

BY Jennifer Finney Boylan FROM GOOD BOY: MY LIFE IN SEVEN DOGS

illustrations by kendra huspaska

rd.ca 81

reader’s digest

Indigo Bed ’n’ Biscuit, our dog daycare. One
of their customers was dying, and her
  It seemed like it had only dog, Chloe, needed a home. Given our
been a few years ago that recent loss, they asked, might our fam-
Indigo, our black Lab, had ily be interested in adopting her?
first barged through our door.
Her underbelly showed the I told the Bed ’n’ Biscuit we were
signs of the litter she’d recently deliv- sorry but we wouldn’t be adopting any
ered, and between the wise, droopy more dogs.
face and the swinging dog teats, she
was a sight to behold. I’d owned a succession of dogs since
1964, each one of them a witness to a
She had a nose for trouble. On one particular phase of my life. But with
occasion, I came home to find that she’d the loss of Indigo, all that was over.
eaten a five-pound bag of flour. She The days of my dogs, I now understood,
was covered in white powder, and flour were done at last.
paw prints were everywhere, includ-
ing, incredibly, on the countertops. I Then one morning, as I was passing
asked the dog what the hell had hap- the Bed ’n’ Biscuit in my car, I pulled
pened, and Indy just looked at me with over. I could at least lay eyes upon this
a glance that said, I cannot imagine to Chloe. What harm could it do?
what you are referring.
She had a soft face.
Time raced by. Our children grew When Chloe entered our house, she
up and went off to college. The mirror, was cautious, uncertain. She spent hours
which had reflected a young mom that first day going to every corner, sniff-
when Indigo first arrived, now showed ing things out. Finally she sat down by
a woman in late middle age. I had sur- the fireplace and gave me a look. If you
gery for cataracts. I began to lose my wanted, she said, I would stay with you.
hearing. We all turned grey: me, my
spouse, the dog. Playboy

In August 2017, I took Indigo for one   Everything I know about
last walk. She was slow and unsteady love I’ve learned from
on her paws. She looked up at me dogs. But everything I
mournfully. You did say you’d take care know about loss I’ve
of me when the time came, she said. learned from them, too.
You promised, Jenny. They fill our hearts. They leave floury
paw prints all over the house. They
She died that month, a tennis ball lick the tears from our faces. And then,
by her side. in what seems like no time at all,
they’re gone.
Not long after, I got a call from the

82 september 2021

It reminds me a little bit of what wanted to be a medieval-history pro-
people say about childbirth: If you fessor but who wound up working at
really remembered how difficult it was, a bank instead. At the end of the day,
you’d never go through it more than Dad would come through the door
once. And yet, year after year, dog after with the Evening Bulletin and tug off
dog, I’ve forgotten the grief of losing his tie, often with an air of grim exhaus-
them—right up until the moment they tion. Then he’d sit down in a leather
give me that look with their grey faces: chair and Playboy would lie down at
Jenny, you promised. his side and roll around until his paws
were in the air. My father would rub
IT’S IN OUR LOVE FOR the dog’s belly. “Who’s a good boy?”
DOGS THAT WE CAN he’d ask. “Who’s a good boy?”
MOST EXPRESS HOW
It was a good question.
HARD IT IS TO BE What did I learn about love from Play-
HUMAN. boy? That it is perfectly fine if everyone
hates you, as long as you are deeply
loved by one person.

The pain of their loss doesn’t seem Sausage
to be lessened one bit by the fact that
many of the dogs I’ve owned have   In adolescence, I had another
been kind of terrible. My first dog, for dalmatian—a sad, over-
instance, was a bad-tempered dalma- weight blob named Sausage.
tian named Playboy, a resentful hood- I got her for my 11th birth-
lum who loved no one but my father. day, and for several years I
adored her, carrying that dog around
We lived in the farm country of east- like a Raggedy Ann doll. Some nights
ern Pennsylvania then, and Playboy she slept in my bed, her head upon the
had no qualms about chasing don- pillow next to mine.
keys, cows and even, on one occasion,
a leather-jacketed Hell’s Angel racing “I’ll always love you,” I told the dog.
by on a Harley. That dog once stole the “We’ll always be best friends.”
Thanksgiving turkey right off the table.
He bit people. There were times when But the promise I made as a child
my sister and I hated his guts. We were was hard to keep once I became a surly
fairly sure the feeling was mutual. teenager and Sausage developed some
obscure condition that caused her to
And yet he was devoted to my father, lose the hair on her tail. An unsettling
a soft-spoken man who had always brown goo oozed out of her eyes.
Friends who came over to my house

rd.ca 83

reader’s digest

made fun of Sausage. They said my dog love to my grandmother’s leg. Which
was gross, and they were not wrong. was fine, I guess; my grandmother
thought it was funny. “He’s got more
More unforgivably, though, my dog spunk than your grandpa!” said she.
was uncool, a reminder of the nerd I
myself had been not so long ago. From Matt the Mutt I learned this:
sometimes the happiest people are
So I turned my back on her. I made the ones who make everyone else’s
other friends, some of them boys who lives impossible.
owned hot rods with T-tops.
Brown
It was from Sausage that I learned
this awful truth: sometimes love   When I was in my 20s, my
fades, and as you age, it can be hard to parents got a Labrador
keep a promise you made when you named Brown. This time
were young. we swore—just once!—we’d
own a dog that was not
Matt the Mutt completely insane. In this our hopes
proved nugatory.
  At the end of her freshman
year, my sister brought home Brown developed a strange addic-
a terrible dog named Matt tion to running water. She would move
the Mutt, who’d been raised a kitchen chair to the sink with her
in her dormitory. She handed snout and open the tap with her teeth.
him over to my parents—he’s yours!— Then she’d stand on the chair, biting
and headed west. Just like that, the the running water. Later, the dog became
reign of Matt the Mutt began. obsessed with chewing her own paws,
something the vet described as a lick
For the next eight years, the dog granuloma.
bounced around the house, lifting his
leg pretty much wherever he pleased, We’d hoped that this time we’d have
knocking people over, barking inces- a normal dog. But from Brown I learned,
santly. Anyone coming through the instead, that sometimes people who
door—including my tired father with his seem the most normal turn out to be
briefcase and his newspaper—would the craziest.
be instantly assailed by the bouncing,
howling creature. Still, it was Brown who provided me
consolation when my father died of
Matt the Mutt was a love machine, a melanoma. As I sat in a chair in my
regular Pepé Le Pew. He would copulate mother’s house, weeping, the dog came
with pretty much anything: ottomans, over and put her head in my lap. Do
the mailbox, even the now-geriatric not be dismayed, for I am thy Dog, she
Sausage. Above all, he lived to make

84 september 2021

said. Whoever lives in love, lives in of devotion. Some people will tell you
Dog, and Dog in him. that the magic of dogs is that their love
for us is unconditional, but I’ve never
Brown looked at me with stead- found this to be the case. What’s uncon-
fastness and adoration, and her tail ditional is the love we have for them.
thumped against the floor. There had
been scars on her legs. Maybe, with At 60, I’m pretty sure that if there is
time, they could be healed. any reason why we are here on this
planet, it is to love one another. It is, as
Lucy the saying goes, all ye know on earth,
and all ye need to know.
I got married just after I
turned 30, and we moved And yet, as it turns out, nothing is
to a farmhouse in central harder than loving human beings.
Maine, where I got a job
teaching English at Colby That’s where dogs come in. It’s in
College. There we were joined by a our love for dogs that we can most
yellow dog I bought from a pig farmer. express how hard it is to be human,
We called Lucy a Kennebec Valley fly- how glorious and how sad.
catcher, on account of her fondness for
biting flies right out of the air. Some- Chloe
times she’d look at me as if to say, They
might be flies to you, but to me they   After Chloe joined us, I had
are sky-raisins. hopes of having a conversa-
Lucy would give me other looks, tion with her previous owner,
usually in shades of disdain. When my the woman who’d been laid
daughter was in third grade, she wrote low by cancer. I wanted her
an essay for school: “Our Dog Hates to know that her dog had found a good
Us.” It was true, too. Everything about home and that we’d take care of her.
our family seemed to annoy Lucy. For
a while, this made me feel a little puny, When I finally got through, though,
until at last I realized that Lucy was just I learned that Chloe’s owner had died.
lonesome for the place she had loved
first: our neighbor’s pigsty. It snowed that night, and I woke up
And so from Lucy I learned this: in a room made mysterious by light
sometimes all people want is the thing and stillness. In the morning, I sat up
they had when they were young. and found that Chloe had climbed into
Each of these dogs had taught me bed with us as we slept.
something about the perilous nature
Well? she asked. I touched her soft
ears in the bright, quiet room and
thought about the gift of grace.

“If you wanted,” I said, “I would stay
with you, too.”

rd.ca 85

EDITORS’ CHOICE

THE CHAIR THAT
HELPED ONE MAN

SLOW DOWN,
FIND THE LOVE
OF HIS LIFE AND

APPRECIATE
THE JOYS OF QUIET
CONTEMPLATION

HOW
TO SIT
STILL

BY Philip Preville FROM COTTAGE LIFE

photographs by daniel ehrenworth

reader’s digest
rd.ca 87

reader’s digest

FROM plateau of Canadian Shield granite,
THE courtesy of Mother Nature. The patio
TIME faces downriver to the east but also
HE WAS offers a clear view south toward Grind-
FOUR stone Island, just across the invisible
YEARS line in the water that marks the Canada-
OLD, U.S. border.

Woodie Stevens has spent every sum- The Thousand Islands were Woodie’s
mer of his life at his family cottage in the summer playground as a kid, the place
Thousand Islands, a 10-minute boat ride where he learned how to swim and pad-
from Gananoque, Ont. But it wasn’t dle and fish, and how to get into and
until his 20th summer at the cottage, out of trouble. At age 15, he and his pal
when he thought he had that part of the Gordie once found a giant anchor stone
province all figured out, that the islands at the bottom of the river and decided
and the river reached out and spoke to to haul it out of the water and up to the
him—and changed the course of his life. patio. It took them five days.

Woodie, born Ford Woods Stevens, By the time he’d reached his 20s,
is now 79 years old. He’s a career den- Woodie was living a carefree and care-
tist in the Philadelphia area, a gentle less life. “I was full of beans as a young
soul who can spin a good yarn. His man,” he says. “Always running around,
cottage, which has been in the family always talking.”
for more than a century, sits atop the
highest point on Wyoming Island, some Then, one beautiful morning in the
18 metres above the St. Lawrence River. mid-’60s, he woke up early and saw his
It features an impressively level stone father, Ford Stevens Sr., out on the patio.
patio just outside the door, a perfect
His dad (also a dentist, and one of the
founders of the Academy of General
Dentistry) was sitting in one of the fam-
ily’s homemade chairs, which they call
“island rock chairs.” They look like a pre-
historic prototype of a Muskoka chair,
the kind of thing an archaeologist might
unearth. They have the same sloped
seat, wide armrests and tall backrest.
But they are less rounded than Muskoka
chairs, more angular and boxlike. The
backrest is made of only two wide slats
of wood. The armrests are untapered.
The chair’s rudimentary appearance is

88 september 2021

Woodie Stevens, a
Philadelphia dentist, has
been spending summers

at his Canadian cottage
since he was a kid.

reader’s digest

key to its charm. He gently lowered himself into the seat
“He was having a coffee and watch- and the chair took hold of him, and he
tried listening for a change.
ing the sunrise, so I got up, got some
coffee and went out. Of course, I was The problem was that Woodie truly
full of bubbles and that stuff, and he just had no idea what he was supposed to
went, ‘Shh,’” Woodie recalls. “He said, listen for. Voices? Motorboats? A mal-
‘Quiet. Sit down. Sit down and listen.’” functioning septic system? “I said, ‘Lis-
ten to what?’ And Dad said, ‘Sit and
Woodie sat in the island rock chair listen.’ I thought I was in trouble again
his dad had made for him when he was so I kept quiet.” Moments passed. Then
just a kid. Woodie obviously wasn’t his dad said, “Listen to the river. ”
inclined toward quiet serenity at this
point in his life, but the chairs, with Woodie listened. He was sitting on
their reclined seats and backrests, have an island with the mighty St. Lawrence
a way of encouraging people to settle. rushing past him on all sides, but to

90 september 2021

At the Stevens’ cottage, they the stevens clan has, through genera-
used a door as a logbook and tions, been characterized by its combi-
framed the original plans for nation of hospitality and contemplation,
their island chair. which helps explain how the family
ended up with this cottage in the first
him the river had become inau- place. Wyoming Island got its name from
dible. It took him a while to its initial purchasers, two Methodist
locate the sound of its churn ministers from Pennsylvania’s Wyoming
beneath the loon calls. You have Valley. They quickly decided the island
to listen past the wind to hear was big enough for four families and,
the water. Finally, he heard it recognizing they had a rare opportunity
and isolated the sound in his to choose their neighbours, in 1910
mind. Then he looked at the invited two of their friends, young family
river anew. “My dad said, ‘This men both, to come visit, and to buy in.
river has passed by this island
for millions of years at six miles THE CHAIRS WOODIE’S
an hour. You’ve got to design GRANDFATHER BUILT A
your life like that.’” CENTURY AGO STILL SIT
UNDER HIS FAVOURITE
It was an epiphany to him:
those words, spoken in this PINE TREE.
place at that moment, suddenly
gave him a new perspective on One of those friends was Woodie’s
his life, his family, adulthood, grandfather, Junius Stevens. He pur-
the world. The lesson he took chased the island’s southeast corner,
from the moment wasn’t that he which happened to be its least acces-
needed to slow down to six miles an sible area from the water, yet its most
hour, and it wasn’t just that he needed majestic once scaled (funny how those
to find a more sustainable pace for his things go together, adversity always
life. He also understood that he needed leading to reward). Junius then con-
to learn to halt life’s perpetual rush, tracted a Grindstone Island farmer,
fast or slow, and be still—and that his Hiram Russell, to build a one-room
grandfather, as it happened, had camp and to complete it in time for the
designed the perfect chair for this very following summer.
purpose. Even when you’ve got an
island cottage like Woodie’s—as literal Back then, it was arguably easier for
a metaphor as you’ll ever find for step- Hiram Russell to build that camp than
ping outside the fray—it’s not an easy
thing to do.

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reader’s digest

it was for Junius Stevens to go and Junius designed and built his
enjoy it. The Stevens family’s voyage to original island rock chairs out
their summer retreat was an annual in the open here, as well. The
crucible, and it is a testament to their original chairs he built for him-
destination’s beauty that they endured self and Fannie are still there
it. At 420-odd kilometres, the trip from on Wyoming Island, beneath
Kingston, Penn., to Gananoque, Ont., their favourite pine tree.
which is roughly the same distance as
Ottawa to Toronto or Edmonton to Skip forward a century or
Banff, lasted three whole days. Junius so, and that one-room camp is
owned a motor car and drove it—with now a three-bedroom cottage
his wife, Fannie, and their two chil- with a full kitchen, plus a sec-
dren—on unpaved and badly potholed ond building that features its
roads, stopping repeatedly to fix flat own miniature suite and,
tires and to push through muddy ruts. around back, a giant work-
shop with every tool you could
“IF YOU THINK possibly need. The second
YOU LIKE A GIRL,” suite is for Woodie’s brother,
Jim, and his wife, Darlene; as
SAID WOODIE’S the family has grown, so has the
DAD, “BRING family compound. As their kids
HER HERE.” have become adults, they all
share in the cottage’s operating
There were no hotels or motels along expenses, with everyone pay-
the way; just roadside tent camping and ing annual dues for taxes, repairs and
campfire cooking. The trip was capped maintenance. It’s an unsentimental way
by a ferry ride from Clayton, N.Y., to to organize the business end of the fam-
Gananoque, and then 90 minutes of ily cottage, but it works. Once everyone
toil in a rowboat to Wyoming Island. pays up, they are free to indulge in relax-
ation and nostalgia.
Nor was life any easier once they
arrived. There were regular rowboat out- These days, Junius’s 72-hour excur-
ings to Grindstone for milk and other sion has become, for Woodie, a six-
necessities, and all the cooking took hour drive from Philadelphia to the
place outside on that stone patio. All this Gananoque marina and a 10-minute
in order to spend the summer in a one- ride in Chips, the family’s vintage
room cabin with an outhouse. mahogany motorboat.

“if you think you really like a girl,” Ford
Stevens Sr. told his restless son back in

92 september 2021

Woodie and Lini
Stevens met 50
summers ago.

the ’60s, “bring her here.” This was the Woodie, 29 at the time, was out on the
sagest piece of advice Woodie’s dad water with two friends, zipping around
gave his sons about choosing a partner. in one of his buddies’ motorboats,
Island cottaging isn’t for everyone: even when they spotted three girls sunbath-
when you’re not alone you remain sym- ing at Bishops Point one summer after-
bolically surrounded by a void, outside noon. Lini, then 21, was sharing a cot-
life’s currents, cut off from the rest of the tage rental with two friends. The boys
world. Some people—the Stevenses, for offered them a boat ride, and Lini’s
example—find that liberating. Others friends said yes. Lini thought the whole
find it suffocating. If your steady likes thing was sketchy, but she wasn’t about
it here, explained Ford, the relation- to leave her friends or be left alone on
ship has potential. If not, it’s doomed. Bishops Point.

This is precisely what Woodie did Woodie and Lini hit it off immedi-
when he met young Lini Westland on ately. Woodie told her he was planning
a nearby Howe Island dock in 1971. to go back to school and become a

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reader’s digest

dentist. “When he told me that, I real- with tchotchkes and quirky artifacts.
ized he had a dream and some ambi- It’s a living family archive that puts
tion,” she says. their values on display.

Woodie was deeply enamoured, too. And it’s a display so rich that it’s actu-
Their conversation turned easy and ally hard to see the walls themselves.
intimate while Woodie’s buddies were Toby jugs. Commemorative plates. Fam-
still trying hard to impress the other ily photographs. Model boats. Muskie
girls. Later that afternoon, the group mounts. Busts of ship captains. Two
split up, and Woodie, though he’d American flags in triangle fold—trib-
known Lini for no more than a couple utes to relations killed in war. A ship’s
of hours at this point, didn’t see any wheel. Regatta silverware galore, from
point in wasting time. He brought Lini medals to banners to plaques. Beer
to Wyoming Island for the litmus test. steins. Family sayings and poems.

She liked it from the outset. “I thought THEY TRACED THE
this whole place was really beautiful. OUTLINES OF THEIR
And his father liked me right away KIDS’ FEET ON THE
because I paid attention to the stuff on DOOR, TO SHOW HOW
the walls.” She also got her first taste
of the Stevens’ unique, homemade fam- THEY’D GROWN.
ily cottage chairs on the stone deck
and made a point of saying how com- What Lini noticed in particular—
fortable they were. “I asked about every- what everyone notices—was the bed-
thing and told him how wonderful it room door off the dining area that
all was, and I meant it.” doubles as a logbook. It’s a beautiful
old door, solid wood with four recessed
Lini and Woodie spent a week at the interior panels. Every inch of that
cottage alone later that summer. Within door—the panels, the borders, top to
five months, Woodie had achieved the bottom—has a log entry inscribed into
following milestones: he proposed, it. One side of the door, unpainted, cov-
he and Lini were engaged and then ers the period ranging from the inter-
married, and Woodie built Lini her war years to the 1960s. The other side of
own rock chair. the door, painted blue and white some
50 years ago and never to be repainted,
when lini gushed to her future father- contains entries running from 1971 to
in-law about the family cottage, it was the 1990s, when they ran out of room.
no small compliment. The walls of the
Stevens family cottage are replete with
built-in shelves, hooks, mantels and
plate rails, the better to festoon them

94 september 2021

The door looks better than it reads— the time was right. But of course, that’s
if you parse the Stevens’ door log, not true: his father was also a restless
you’ll learn that they got a new dish- young man once, and he also had
washer and electric range in 1972; needed to learn to be still, as did his
you’ll read about water levels and first father, Junius. This is surely why Junius
swims and first paddles; you’ll find the invented his own cottage chair.
names of dinner guests; and you’ll see
the outlines of their kids’ feet, showing Despite its rough appearance, the Ste-
how they’ve grown over the years. But vens cottage chair is the most comfort-
cottage logbooks aren’t meant to be able version of the Muskoka-Adirondack
great literature. They are meant to chair I’ve ever sat on. The angle of the
mark the passage of time in a place seat is not as steep as in a true Mus-
where time stands still. No one both- koka chair, making it easier to get in
ers keeping a logbook of their city and out. And your spine fits neatly into
home; we buy and sell urban dwell- the space between the two backrest
ings like the commodities they are, boards, allowing your shoulder blades
and whatever traces of ourselves we to press flat against the backrest.
leave behind will be forgotten with the
next reno. But our cottages are truly In the Stevens chair, you also sit a little
ours, and we make our mark indelible taller, making it easier to converse with
upon them. others, read or write in a notebook on
the armrest. Or to simply look out over
when woodie’s dad first told him to be the horizon and listen for the river, and
quiet and listen to the river, it felt to to feel its power, even when you’re not
Woodie as though his dad was pass- immersed in it. Island cottaging teaches
ing on a piece of wisdom he’d always you to step outside the current, watch
known, a lesson he always knew his its flow and not react, nor respond, nor
son had to learn and that he had just go with the flow or against it. The only
been waiting to impart to him when way to be still is to sit still.

© 2021, PHILIP PREVILLE. FROM “A FAMILY’S HOMEMADE
CHAIR IS MORE THAN JUST A PLACE TO SIT,” COTTAGE LIFE
(AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2019), COTTAGELIFE.COM

Start Your Engines

The best safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

DUDLEY MOORE

If G.M. kept up with technology like the computer industry, we’d all be driving
$25 cars that got 1,000 miles per gallon.

BILL GATES

rd.ca 95





reader’s digest

reader’s digest THE WINTER WIVES
by Linden MacIntyre
BOOK CLUB
$35, PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE CANADA
Every month,
we recommend a new who wrote it: MacIntyre has estab-
must-read book. Here’s lished himself in the Canadian zeit-
what you need to know. geist twice over. First he spent nearly
25 years holding corporations and
BY Emily Landau politicos to account as co-host of
CBC’s The Fifth Estate. Then, in his 50s,
98 september 2021 he started writing hard-hitting novels.
The Bishop’s Man, his moody bestseller
about corruption and pedophilia in a
Nova Scotia Catholic diocese, won the
Scotiabank Giller Prize in 2009.

what it’s about: MacIntyre’s latest
book, The Winter Wives, is set in
Ontario, Florida, and (once again)
Nova Scotia, and follows a tangled
quartet of baby boomers over some
40-odd years. There’s Byron, who over-
came his hardscrabble childhood in
a lobster-fishing family to become a
small-town lawyer in his Maritime
hometown, and his best friend, the
handsome, athletic Allan Chase, who
grew up rich and gets even richer when
he drops out of university to become a
real estate magnate.

When Allan weds Peggy Winter, the
beautiful, unknowable woman Byron
has always loved, Byron opts for the
next best thing and marries her quiet,
reliable, long-suffering sister, Annie.
One day, when the couples are in
their 60s, Allan suffers a stroke during
a round of golf. While Allan lies in a