racial, receiving feedback from white vs. black people about, 114–17 research on, xxiii–xxiv in those who are in or care deeply about stereotyped groups, 53 in white children, 193 workplace decision-making process and, 202–3 unconscious bias training, 45, 54 “Undoing Racism” workshop, 131–34 unemployment benefits, 76 Unzueta, Miguel, 39, 83 values, standing up for vs. just believing in, xviii–xix Varadarajan, Gita, 9–14, 19 visual attention, 94–95 visual perception, dehumanization and, 147–49 voice, male vs. female, being listened to and, 179–80 volunteering, savior mode and, 151 Walters, Suzanna, 155 warm-glow effect, 151 Warren, Elizabeth, 159 Washington Post, 7 WBLS FM, 101 wealth: accumulated, impact across generations of, 78–79 criminal justice system and, 64 distribution of, in America, 98–99 hard-knock life effect and, 60 race gap in, xx Weeks, Sarah, 9–14, 19 Welch, Jack, 140 What Works: Gender Equality (Bohnet), 202–3 wheelchair users, inconveniences faced by, 112 When Affirmative Action Was White (Katznelson), 70–71 “When Sex and Gender Collide” (Olson), 143–44 White Men’s Leadership Study, 120, 124 white privilege, xxii, 14–16 awakening into, 89–90, 94 ordinary privilege and, 112, 113 systemic differences and, 62–64 “white me” and “black me” thought experiment and, 70–75, 77 “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack” (McIntosh), 63 white racial identity development, 134–37, 140 meritocracy belief and, 134, 135 Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? (Tatum), 52 willful awareness, 132–34, 137–38, 139, 140 willful ignorance, 106n, 135, 138 Williams, Serena, 159 Wise, Tim, xx, 81 “woke,” use of word, xxii Wolf, Leon, xxi
Wolfe, Jeremy, 95 women: becoming more aware of experiences of, 54 implicit gender bias among, 53 media portrayals of, 194 online harassment of, 54 pay gap between men and, 105–6 typecasting of, 158–59 working, men’s attitudes toward, 52–53 see also gender; gender balance; gender bias women of color: accused of being “divisive,” 104–5, 106, 107 explaining how their experiences differ from those of white women, 104, 106 online “rooms” for, 107–10 women-run organizations, 55 Woolworth’s lunch counter sit-ins, xx, 235–38, 240, 242 “Words of a Native Son” (Baldwin), 165 Working Mother Media, 125 working women, marriage and men’s attitudes toward, 52–53 work-in-progress, viewing oneself as, 19, 23, 24, 31, 32, 33, 35, 83, 109, 164, 224 workplace: importance of “fit” in, 201–2 psychological safety in teams at, 29–33 “ripple up” effect in, 203–4 sexist language in, 202 steering the conversation at, 201–4 unconscious biases and and systems in, 202–3 Work Rules! (Bock), 203 world views, 87–97 bounded awareness and, 95–96, 97 confirmation bias and, 96–97 lack of meaningful interactions with nonwhite people and, 88–89 meritocracy belief and, 97, 98–100 travel’s impact on, 89–90 white people’s failure to “see” blacks and, 87–88, 97 Wymore, Mel, 143, 145–46, 149–51, 152–53, 154–55, 158–59, 162, 163, 229 Yang, Wei, 113–14 zero-tolerance approach, 122 Zhu, Zhu, 4–5
About the Author DR. DOLLY CHUGH is a Harvard-educated, award-winning social psychologist at the NYU Stern School of Business, where she is an expert in the unconscious biases and unethical behavior of ordinary, good people. In her real life, she is trying just as hard as everyone else to be the person she means to be. Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com
Copyright THE PERSON YOU MEAN TO BE. Copyright © 2018 by Dolly Chugh. Foreword copyright © 2018 by Laszlo Bock. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books. FIRST EDITION Cover design by James Iacobelli Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for. Digital Edition SEPTEMBER 2018 ISBN: 978-0-06-269216-0 Print ISBN: 978-0-06-269214-6
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* I hope the reader will forgive the binary—that’s how the data were coded at the time.
* The origin story of the phrase “black lives matter” begins with activists Alicia Garza, Patrisse Khan-Cullors, and Opal Tometi in 2013. Today, the phrase has come to refer to at least three different things: a decentralized social movement, a formal organization with official chapters across the United States and Canada, and a social media hashtag. More on this history can be found in the book When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir by Patrisse Khan-Cullors and asha bandele as well as the article “The Matter of Black Lives” by Jelani Cobb, published in the New Yorker.
* I find the heat and light metaphor to be powerful and others seem to agree. While I have not been able to trace its original source, I have seen it used in sources ranging from The Unitarian Register/The Christian Register to Cathy Young in the Observer to Barack Obama’s speeches.
* Sarah and Gita experimented with the main character’s first name. Earlier drafts referred to Ravi as Suraj.
* Pronounced with a u that sounds like the oo in “good” and a hard gh at the end.
* This finding reminds me of the words said to me by a former client manager from my days in consulting, Dave Kuhlman. When we started working together, Dave told me, “There is no mistake you can make that I haven’t already made.” He made himself vulnerable so that I would be willing to do the same.
* I am not sure where I first heard this line, but it is advice that I repeat often. Thank you to the unknown original source.
* When you visit the IAT website, sign in as a guest (no need to register or give your personal information, if you choose not to). Then, when you see the list of possible IATs, look for one that relates to a cause close to your heart. The website is being improved and expanded constantly, but at the time of this printing, you could find IATs on race, religion, disability, gender, sexual orientation, and skin tone (as well as many other topics). The test takes about ten minutes, ideally uninterrupted and with a good Internet connection. You will receive a score at the end. In a perfect world, take it more than once, perhaps a day or two apart, but at the very least, take it once.
* At her request, not her real name.
* Colleen is a composite of three anonymous individuals, each of whom is a descendant of a white WWII veteran who benefited from the GI Bill (all of the quotations are from a single individual).
* Jones uses slightly different language, which I have adapted using synonyms so that it is consistent with the terms I have been using.
* Multiple versions of this video exist. Here, I describe one by psychologist Ulrich Neisser, and I have also used other versions by Dan Simons and Chris Chabris in my teaching, an idea I learned from Mahzarin Banaji.
* He did not find the effect for white men, interestingly, which may have to do with differences in male and female friendships. Further research is needed.
* Willful ignorance originated as a legal term describing an individual’s choice to be unaware of information that would threaten his claim of innocence. In the more colloquial use of the term, which I use here, willful ignorance describes an individual’s choice to be unaware of information that makes her uncomfortable.
* These diversity-promoting behaviors included whether they respected differences (cultural, religious, gender, and racial), whether they valued working with a diverse group of people, and whether they felt comfortable managing people from different racial and cultural backgrounds.
* The researchers also did a parallel examination of gender and sexism. Interestingly, they found that the sexism issues were not viewed as seriously as the racism issues, a pattern that has been found in other research. This downplaying of the issue may require a different approach in order to be effective.
* The other confronters did see a drop in the use of the racial slur, but this drop was not statistically significant.
* The workshop was “Undoing Racism,” led by the People’s Institute for Survival and Beyond and the Haymarket People’s Fund. I also attended this workshop in Brooklyn, New York, in April 2017. More information can be found here: http://www.pisab.org/workshops.
* For telling Jodi’s story, I am going to rely on models of white racial identity development, as they explain her story best. But other models of identity development also exist (e.g., black, Asian American, gay and lesbian).
* Mel Wymore’s campaign materials.
* There are other problems with positive stereotypes beyond their otherizing effects. For example, our positive stereotypes can impose unintended performance pressure, creating the potential for choking under high expectations (Cheryan and Bodenhausen, 2000). Also, our positive biases often have an unspoken negative connotation in a backhanded compliment kind of way (e.g., “she has a pretty face”).
* PhD students (also called doctoral students) are similar to entry-level hires in many other industries, though some have work experience before starting their PhDs.
* Our field, like many academic fields, has a handful of PhD students who work closely as junior research collaborators with faculty members. This feature makes the PhD admission decision more similar in its approach to a hiring decision than a college admission decision.
* Our study was carefully reviewed and approved in advance by two research ethics committees.
* The one exception was Chinese students writing to Chinese professors. Nonetheless, Chinese students were the most discriminated-against group in our study overall.
* Not his real name.
* My husband and I became rabid fans of Miranda years before Hamilton opened, when we became obsessed with his first Broadway show, In the Heights. We waited for Miranda at stage doors, jogged after him to say hello during a random sighting at LaGuardia Airport, and even framed his autograph. This is the first, and likely only, occasion ever where I have been ahead of a pop culture trend.
* Many of us do not “have the time” to read. I am a “born again” reader who discovered in my forties that many of the most impactful and busy people in the world find time to read. For ideas on how to do this, go to www.dollychugh.com.
* Social norms are either what we think everyone is doing (descriptive norms) or what we think everyone should be doing (prescriptive norms). For our purposes, both are relevant.
* The numbers are more symbolic than mathematical. The key is that there are three groups and the middle group is the biggest.
* At his request, his name and others in his story have been changed.
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