Parents Magazine (December 2019)

© 2019 The Caldrea Company. All Rights Reserved.

LIFEÑPhi lanthropy






Her friend had an extra, and they
drove over to the family’s apartment to
When Deborah Vauclare
set it up. “The apartment was so empty, I learned that her son
knew something was wrong,” she says. would likely not live past
age 10, her BFF
“I could only talk to the mom using eye Emily Rogath Steckler
contact because of the language barrier.” (below) started a
charity to raise money
Once the baby was playing, she to research a cure.
excused herself to use the bathroom.
“I didn’t see any soap, towels, or diaper
cream,” says Whitehill. “That’s when
I realized this family’s needs extended
way beyond a piece of baby gear.” She
walked around the apartment with the
family, making a list of what they
needed. When she got back home, she
posted the list on her local mom’s
Facebook group. Everything was
purchased. “This was the beginning
of Miry’s List,” Whitehill says.
She began meeting other refugee
families in Southern California and
quickly realized that many of them come BISOUS FOR LÉO
to the U.S., fleeing persecution and
violence, only to find little support. “I had a million questions in my head
“I talked to an employee at a resettlement about this disease, but I couldn’t get the words out.”
agency,” Whitehill recalls. “She told
me that she used to be responsible for PURPOSE Fund a cure for infantile neuroaxonal dystrophy (INAD),
20 families when she started her job; now a rare neurodegenerative disease that affects children
she handles 200.” Whitehill wanted to FOUNDED 2018
help all the families slipping through the
cracks but knew she couldn’t do all the Emily Rogath Steckler and Deborah Vauclare are best friends. They went
to high school and college together, then moved to New York City together.
list making and delivering herself.
They thought they would do everything together, until Vauclare got a job in
She decided to start Amazon Wish
Paris and fell in love with a Parisian. “It was a fairy tale that eventually took a
Lists for these families so necessities
sharp turn,” Rogath Steckler says.
could be delivered straight to their
When Vauclare’s Paris-born son, Léo, turned 1, he began to regress
homes. Her operation grew fast, and developmentally. Vauclare was seven months pregnant with her daughter
today Miry’s List has provided 350-plus when tests finally diagnosed Léo with INAD. “I had a million questions in my
families in 13 states with material goods, head, but I couldn’t get the words out,” she says. “I was a wreck. I had to go
along with social support like playdates on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy.”
and English tutoring. “I’ve never been so Rogath Steckler happened to be in London with her kids, ages 3 and 5,
motivated at any job,” says Whitehill. “It when her friend received this news. She went to Paris to comfort her and took
a picture of her own daughter kissing Léo. “When I came home to L.A., that
gives me more energy to care for my kids.”
photo haunted me,” she says. “I couldn’t get Léo out of my mind. I thought,
The Kashefis, from Afghanistan,
‘What if we could kiss him and make it better?’ ” About a month later, Rogath
wouldn’t have stayed in the U.S. were it
Steckler pitched her idea to Vauclare of starting Bisous (French for “kisses”)
not for Miry’s List. The resettlement
for Léo to support the INADcure Foundation. In the past year, the charity has
office housed Bashir, his pregnant wife, raised more than $200,000, and celebrities like Gal Gadot, Chelsea Handler,
Naseema, and their 2-year-old in a small and Eva Longoria have posted on Instagram about the cause.
apartment with 14 other people. On the But their success is tempered by the fact that Léo’s health is deteriorating.
sixth day, sick and tired, they left. They Most kids with the disease don’t live past age 10. “A year ago, he could still
had been sleeping on the street for three walk with his walker, pull himself up, sit unaided, crawl, turn over, eat regular FROM TOP: TODOR TSVETKOV PHOTOGRAPHY; COURTESY OF THE SUBJECT.
nights when a neighbor told them about foods, and feed himself. Today, at age 3, he can no longer do any of that,”
says Vauclare. “He wakes up screaming throughout the night. We don’t
Whitehill. One phone call later, she set
know what is bothering him or how to calm him.”
them up at a motel for a month and
Scientists have already discovered the gene mutation responsible for the
saw to it that three meals a day would
disease, one that is shared with some forms of Parkinson’s, and are using
be delivered to their room. Says Bashir,
the new funding to study treatments in mice and adults who have a mutation
“Miry told us: ‘I am not next to you. in the same gene. Says Vauclare: “We will never give up hope.”
I am behind you, in every step of life.’ ”




P A R E N T S 100 D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 9

Chinyere Oparah knew that pregnancy at use these stories to push for change. They
age 40 came with some risks. But as her joined with other moms and birth workers
doctors saw it, she was a catastrophe to form Black Women Birthing Justice.
waiting to happen. They recommended “I went from focusing on surviving my
tests and interventions that didn’t seem pregnancy to thriving with my child to
right to Oparah, a professor of ethnic realizing I had to make the experience
studies at Mills College, in Oakland, better for others,” Oparah says.
California. When she tried to speak up, They asked women to recall their birth
Chinyere Oparah’s her doctors shut her down. stories. “Hearing these mamas brought
doctors ignored
her wishes. She doesn’t One afternoon, she and her friend us to tears,” Oparah says. A few years
want that to happen Cherisse Harper began trading birth and later, they published these stories in the
to anyone else.
pregnancy stories. Both were flummoxed book Battling Over Birth: Black Women
as to why two otherwise strong, assertive and the Maternal Health Care Crisis,
B L AC K WOMEN women had felt so powerless during this which they use for national political
B IRTHING JUSTIC E time. What was going on? advocacy and as a resource for black
This happened in 2010, before the bias women, midwives, doulas, and doctors.
“I had to make something against black women in maternity care One of these storytellers was Ajira
different happen for others than was well documented. Black women are Darch, who felt bullied into a C-section at
what happened for me.” three to four times as likely to die from age 29. Recounting this experience
pregnancy-related complications as motivated her to become a doula. Says
PURPOSE Improve black women’s white women, according to the Centers Darch: “I am there to remind birthing
pregnancy, childbirth, for Disease Control and Prevention. people that they don’t have to do what
and postpartum experiences
Harper and Oparah wanted to make they’re told, that there’s time and it’s okay
FOUNDED 2011 black women’s birth stories known, then to wait a beat to consider the options.”







THE ALEXIS JOY
TOP: LINDA JONES. BOTTOM: COPYRIGHT © PITTSBURGH POST-GAZETTE, 2019, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION.
FOUNDATION


“My wife deserved more.
Everyone deserves more.”


PURPOSE Support women and
families affected by perinatal
mood and anxiety disorders
FOUNDED 2014


Alexis Joy D’Achille knew she needed When Steven D’Achille’s
help. After the birth of her daughter, wife committed suicide shortly
after giving birth to their
she began to feel anxious and distant. daughter, he vowed to help
She couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to other women suffering from
eat. She sought treatment from her postpartum depression.
ob-gyn, the E.R., and psych units. Even
after going to seven facilities, she hadn’t
received the help she needed to
overcome postpartum depression. and I moved in with my parents, and a Health, opened The Alexis Joy D’Achille
Alexis, a woman who had no previous lawyer friend set up a foundation.” Center for Perinatal Mental Health.
history of depression, took her own But he couldn’t find a place where he On the day of the ribbon-cutting
life five weeks after becoming a mom. felt comfortable donating the money. Then ceremony, Heather Peterson came and
Afterward, her husband, Steven, his lawyers introduced him to doctors who begged for help. The birth of her
desperately wanted to find support for worked at a hospital network in Pittsburgh. second child had led to what seemed
women like Alexis. At her funeral, he “I was so fragile. I kept saying, ‘My wife to be insurmountable anxiety. The
asked for donations, and $30,000 deserved more. Everyone deserves more.’ ” doctors quickly devised a plan: She
poured in. “My wife’s story resonated He and the doctors met every week received medication and regular
with people, and I felt immense until four years later, the Alexis Joy one-on-one therapy sessions. “Now, a
pressure to give away the money Foundation, in partnership with the year later, I feel great,” Peterson says.
quickly,” says D’Achille. “My daughter Allegheny Health Network and Highmark “I’m able to enjoy my girls.”

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LIFEÑPhi lanthropy



SHARE YOUR
Voıce



















Judy Cockerton’s
charity not only removes
the housing barrier
that potential foster parents
face, but it also makes
older adults feel needed.









Finding real estate was a challenge.
TREEHOUSE The homes in Illinois were purchased
FOUNDATION way below market value. Cockerton
couldn’t find a deal like that. She would
“We want to give have to build not only community support
you a village to raise but also the actual residences. “I set up a
foster kids.” meeting with our state child-welfare Parents invites you to join
commissioner, and he introduced me to our reader panel. We want
PURPOSE Create intergenerational an affordable real-estate developer to know what you think!
housing communities across the who believed in our mission and vision.”
country so foster-adoptive families Two years later, the Treehouse
can live alongside older adults Community, a 60-home village in SEND

FOUNDED 2006 Easthampton, opened its doors.
The homes and apartments are your thoughts and opinions
Eighteen months after Judy Cockerton placed around a circle and surrounded
became a foster parent to two young by fields, playgrounds, and other spaces TEST
sisters, she sold the small business she that make relationship building all but new products for
had nurtured for almost two decades. inevitable. Currently, Treehouse has moms and kids
“When I brought the girls home, I 120-plus community members with a
began reading about our foster-care ratio of four elders to every family. GET
system and learned that 25,000 kids “We’re expanding in Massachusetts and
free samples, coupons,
age out every year before being placed to Northern California,” says Cockerton.
and more
with a family,” says Cockerton, a former Before Treehouse, Mary Gomez had
teacher who has two biological children. struggled to become a foster parent.
Cockerton sought to remove two The single mom of two had long wanted
of the main barriers for potential to foster children with disabilities JOIN TODAY
families: not having enough room in but was denied by the state because her
at parents.com/meredithvoices
their home for foster kids, and feeling apartment was too small.
and enter for a chance to win
isolated. She heard about a midwestern After two years on the wait list,
$10,000*
community where foster-adoptive Gomez got a spot and moved in. Since
families live side by side with “honorary then, she’s fostered eight kids. She’s also
grandparents,” ages 55 and older. found some time for herself. Earlier this
*NO PURCHASE OR SURVEY PARTICIPATION
The former benefit from the extra year, she took a vacation alone and IS NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. Subject to
help and stability; the latter feel started college for the first time. “When Official Rules at www.surveygizmo.com/s3/989068/
Sweepstakes-Rules. The $10,000 Reader Survey
a sense of purpose and connection. “I I’ve had a stressful day, I can call my
Sweepstakes begins at 12:00 AM ET on October 1, 2019
elderly neighbors and say: ‘Can you
flew to Illinois to see it,” she says.
ROB DEZA. “When I got back, I sought to adapt this please come over and watch the kids? I to legal residents of the United States and the District of
and ends at 11:59 PM ET on September 30, 2020. Open
Columbia, 21 years or older. Sweepstakes is offered by
concept for Massachusetts.”
need to walk around the circle.’ ”
Meredith Corporation and may be promoted by any of
its publications in various creative executions online and
in print at any time during the sweepstakes. Limit one (1)
entry per person and per email address, per survey. Void
P A R E N T S 103 D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 9 where prohibited. Sponsor: Meredith Corporation.

LIFEÑEntertaining



B RU NC H FOR YOU R



HOLI DAY BUNC H



These simple, prep-ahead dishes are special enough for guests and feed at least
eight. So go ahead, invite extra friends or surprise a neighbor with a plate.




by KRISTIN DONNELLY
photographs by GREG D uPREE





















Pistachio-Mint
Citrus Salad
Active Time 25 minutes
Total Time 25 minutes
Makes 8 servings
INGR EDIENTS
4 large oranges,
preferably a mix of
varieties, including
blood oranges
2 grapefruit
2 Tbs. honey
3 to 4 Tbs. shelled
unsalted pistachios,
coarsely chopped
Pinch of coarse salt
Mint leaves, for serving

M A K E IT
1. Working with one fruit
at a time, cut off the top
and bottom with a sharp
knife so you have flat
sides. Stand the fruit on
one end, and cut down
along the rounded sides
to remove all the peel and
as much bitter white pith
as possible. Slice the fruit
into rounds. Repeat with
the remaining fruit, and
arrange the rounds on a
platter so they overlap.
2. Drizzle the citrus with
the honey and sprinkle
with the pistachios and
salt. Arrange the mint
leaves on top and serve.
NUTRITION PER SERVING
94 calories; 2g protein; Prep the fruit
2g fat (0 sat. fat); 20g carbs; through Step 1 and
3g fiber; 15g sugar; 0 iron; refrigerate
45mg calcium; 9mg sodium overnight. Proceed
with Step 2 just
before serving.





P A R E N T S 104 D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 9

Prep the recipe through
Step 4, then cover and
refrigerate overnight. In
the morning, bake as
directed, adding at least
20 minutes to the
baking time, until the
center is hot.
















































Savory Breakfast 1/2 cup fresh parsley leaves, about 12 minutes. With the paper facing you. Spread the mushroom
Yule Log finely chopped as a handle, transfer the eggs to mixture over the eggs, leaving
1/4 cup sour cream a rack; let cool to warm. a 1-in. border at the top end.
Active Time 25 minutes 2 Tbs. finely grated Parmesan Roll up the eggs from the bottom
Total Time 45 minutes cheese 3. Meanwhile, in a food processor, end to form a log. Repeat with
Makes 8 servings pulse together the mushrooms the second log, if necessary.
M A K E IT and onion in two batches until
INGR EDIENTS Transfer the log(s) to a clean
1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. finely chopped. In a large skillet,
Nonstick cooking spray parchment-lined baking pan
Line two 9x13-in. baking pans or heat olive oil over medium heat.
12 eggs one large rimmed baking pan Add the mushrooms, onion, and cover with foil.
1/4 cup milk with parchment paper and lightly thyme, remaining 1/2 tsp. salt, and 5. Bake until the eggs and filling
3/4 tsp. kosher salt, divided spray the paper with nonstick pepper. Cook, stirring often, until are hot throughout, 15 to
1 lb. white button or cremini cooking spray. the vegetables are softened and 20 minutes. Sprinkle with the
mushrooms all the water evaporates, 5 to Parmesan cheese.
2. In a large bowl, whisk together
1 small onion, coarsely chopped 7 minutes. Stir in the parsley and
the eggs, milk, and 1/4 tsp. salt. NUTRITION PER SERVING 159 calories;
1 Tbs. olive oil Pour the eggs into the prepared sour cream. Let cool to warm. 12g protein; 11g fat (4g sat. fat);
1/2 tsp. dried thyme pan(s), dividing them evenly 4. Position the eggs on the 4g carbs; 1g fiber; 2g sugar; 2mg iron;
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper if using two pans. Bake until set, counter so that a short end is 78mg calcium; 358mg sodium

LIFEÑEntertaining



















Prep the pudding and
sauce and refrigerate
in separate bowls.
Assemble and serve in
the morning.


Cran-Raspberry
Chia Pudding Parfait
Active Time 25 minutes
Total Time 35 minutes, plus at
least 4 hours of chilling time
Makes 8 servings
INGR EDIENTS
4 cups reduced-fat milk or
unsweetened nondairy milk
1 cup chia seeds
1/2 cup pure maple syrup
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
Pinch of kosher salt
12 oz. fresh or frozen
cranberries (about 3 cups)
12 oz. fresh or frozen
raspberries (about 3 cups)
3/4 cup sugar
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract

M A K E IT
1. In a large bowl, whisk
together the milk, chia seeds,
maple syrup, cinnamon,
and salt. Refrigerate while
you make the fruit sauce.
2. In a large saucepan, combine
the cranberries, raspberries,
sugar, and vanilla with 3/4 cup
water; bring to a boil over high
heat, stirring to help the sugar
dissolve. Simmer over medium
heat until the berries start
to burst and the sauce is thick,
10 to 15 minutes. Use a spoon
to mash the berries.

3. Let fruit mixture cool slightly,
and then spoon 1 to 2 Tbs. of
sauce into each of 8 small
glasses or jars and let cool to
room temperature.
4. Ladle the chia pudding into
the cups. Refrigerate the
glasses and remaining sauce
until the pudding is thick, at FOOD STYLING BY CHELSEA ZIMMER. PROP STYLING BY CHRISTINE KEELY.
least 4 hours and up to 2 days.
Just before serving, spoon
the remaining sauce on top
of the pudding.
NUTRITION PER SERVING
389 calories; 11g protein; 13g fat
(3g sat. fat); 60g carbs; 14g fiber;
41g sugar; 4mg iron; 382mg
calcium; 76mg sodium
PIN THE RECIPES!
Scan this code with
your phone’s camera to
save these treats onto
your own Pinterest
P A R E N T S 106 D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 9 board (no app needed).

At Special K, we keep it real—as in
real fruits, nuts and granola

clusters—because we know only
real ingredients make really
delicious bowlfuls.




© 2019 Kellogg NA Co.

LIFEÑEntertaining

















Red-and-Green
Enchiladas

Active Time 25 minutes
Total Time 50 minutes
Makes 8 servings
INGR EDIENTS
12 large eggs
1/4 cup milk
2 Tbs. unsalted butter
4 green onions, thinly sliced
Prep the enchiladas
through Step 4, 1 cup red enchilada sauce
then cover and 1 cup green enchilada sauce
refrigerate overnight. 8 to 10 large (8-in.) flour tortillas
In the morning, bake
for about 45 minutes, 1 cup shredded Monterey Jack
removing the cheese (4 oz.)
foil halfway through. Cilantro, sliced radishes,
diced avocado, and sour
cream, for topping (optional)
M A K E IT
1. Preheat the oven to 350°F.
In a large bowl, whisk together
the eggs and milk.
2. In a large skillet, preferably
nonstick, melt the butter over
medium heat. Add the green
onions and cook, stirring, until
softened, about 2 minutes.
Add the eggs and cook, stirring
occasionally, until scrambled
and set but still moist, about
3 minutes.
3. In a 9x13-in. baking dish,
pour about 1/4 cup of the red
enchilada sauce along one of
the long sides of the pan. Pour
about 1/4 cup of the green sauce
along the other side of the pan
and spread so the sauces meet
in the middle.
4. Working with one tortilla at
a time, roll up some of the
egg mixture in the tortilla and
transfer it to the baking dish
seam side down. Repeat with
the remaining tortillas. Pour the
remaining enchilada sauces
over the filled tortillas, with the
red sauce on one side and
the green on the other. Sprinkle
with cheese and cover with foil.

5. Bake for about 15 minutes,
then remove the foil
and continue baking until the
cheese is melted and the
sauce is bubbling, 15 to
20 minutes longer. Let stand
5 minutes before serving with
the toppings, if desired.
NUTRITION PER SERVING
359 calories; 18g protein;
19g fat (7g sat. fat); 30g carbs;
0 fiber; 2g sugar; 3mg iron;
263mg calcium; 948mg sodium


P A R E N T S 108 D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 9

EASY TO



STAND




































EASY TO



FILL




















































now with an


EXPANDABLE BOTTOM

© 2019 Reynolds Consumer Products LLC.

LIFEÑEntertaining








Ham-and-Egg Sliders
Active Time 20 minutes
Total Time 35 minutes
Makes 12 servings
INGR EDIENTS
12 slider rolls Sweet Potato
6 Tbs. unsalted butter, divided Sheet Pan Hash
8 large eggs
Active Time 20 minutes
3 Tbs. milk Total Time 1 hour 15 minutes
1/8 tsp. kosher salt Makes 8 servings
1/8 tsp. ground black pepper
INGR EDIENTS
2 Tbs. Dijon mustard
4 large sweet potatoes (about
2 tsp. apricot jam 3 lbs.), cut into 1/2-in. pieces
11/2 cups shredded cheddar 2 Tbs. olive oil
cheese (6 oz.)
1/2 tsp. kosher salt
12 thin slices of ham (6 oz.)
5 green onions, thinly sliced,
divided
M A K E IT
1 lb. cooked breakfast
1. Using a large serrated knife,
sausage links, thawed if
split slider rolls, taking care frozen, cut on the bias
to keep the top and bottom 8 large eggs
layers intact.
M A K E IT
2. Preheat the oven to 350°F.
In a large skillet, preferably 1. Preheat the oven to 425°F.
nonstick, melt 2 Tbs. of the Line a large rimmed baking pan
butter over medium heat. In a with parchment paper. On the
large bowl, whisk together baking pan, toss the sweet
potatoes with the olive oil and
eggs, milk, salt, and pepper.
Add eggs to the skillet and salt and roast until nearly soft,
cook, stirring occasionally, until about 35 minutes, stirring once.
scrambled and set but still 2. Sprinkle three quarters of the
slightly moist, about 3 minutes. green onions and all the
Remove from the heat and let breakfast sausage over the
cool to warm.
sweet potatoes and toss.
Roast until the green onions are
3. In a small bowl, whisk the
mustard with the jam. softened and the sausage is
hot, about 10 minutes.
4. Arrange bottoms of rolls in
a 9x13-in. baking dish. Arrange 3. Create 8 indentations in the
half the cheese on the slider sweet potato hash. Crack the
rolls. Spoon eggs over the eggs into the indentations and
bake until set as desired, 7 to
cheese. Top with ham and the
remaining cheese. Spread cut 8 minutes for runny yolks and
sides of roll tops with the 9 to 10 minutes for firm yolks.
apricot mustard and place on Serve hot. Garnish with
final cheese layer. remaining sliced green onions.
NUTRITION PER SERVING
5. Melt the remaining 4 Tbs. 394 calories; 19g protein;
butter. Brush the butter over the 24g fat (7g sat. fat); 26g carbs;
sliders. Bake 15 to 20 minutes, 4g fiber; 6g sugar; 2mg iron;
until cheese is melted. 77mg calcium; 671mg sodium

NUTRITION PER SERVING
273 calories; 14g protein;
16g fat (7g sat. fat); 20g carbs;
1g fiber; 4g sugar; 1mg iron; START THE NIGHT
126mg calcium; 505mg sodium BEFORE
Prep the hash through Step 1.
Cool potatoes, add
sausage and onion, then cover
with foil and refrigerate
START THE NIGHT overnight. In the morning,
BEFORE uncover and reheat
Prep the sliders through at 425°F for 20 minutes or until
Step 4, then cover with an airtight green onions are softened
lid or foil and refrigerate and sausage is hot,
overnight. In the morning, then proceed with Step 3.
proceed with Step 5;
cover with foil and bake for
15 minutes. Remove foil;
bake 15 minutes more or until
cheese is melted.





P A R E N T S 110 D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 9

© 2019 Tyson Foods, Inc.

LIFEÑ Community





HOW TO
ACE
A MEAL Cook for a Neighbor in Need
TRAIN
No one has less time for meal prep than a mom or a dad in
survival mode, and no one appreciates a nourishing dinner more.

by AMY PALANJIAN




pancakes, sausage, hash
Seasoned meal trainers
Not Just for recommend scheduling browns, French toast,
just a few meals a week and baked apples,” says
New for two to three weeks. Eliza Neary, of Pella,
Iowa. “And I like to make
Parents! More dates can be added breakfast burritos for
if the calendar fills up,
but too many empty slots others because they can
Meal trains can be a bummer for the be frozen and reheated
are great for major family to see. individually,” she says.
crises and small Also consider packing
bumps in the road. Invite dozens of families extras like snacks for late-
to participate if your friend
Here are just night feedings, dry goods
a few examples of is in a long-term crisis like toilet paper or diapers,
other times in (such as facing a cancer coloring books for the kids,
parenthood they diagnosis), and be sure to or a favorite drink.
include a clickable
can help.
alternative like a restaurant Ensure a Smooth
Cook a meal for or an Uber Eats gift card Delivery
the friend who is ... for noncooks and out-of-
town friends. No matter what you
On bed rest with make, pack it in inexpensive
Remember that every
twins storage containers or
family is different. Some
About to file for might benefit from meals zip-top bags—and be
divorce for just a week; others clear that you don’t need
them back. If you send
might have an ongoing
Home with the a meal to be popped into
need. Arranging just one
kids while a spouse a slow cooker, include
meal a week indefinitely
is deployed a disposable liner to
can make a profound make cleanup easy. And
Dealing difference in the life of a label the containers with
with anxiety or single parent or any family the recipe name and
depression coping with a chronic the heating instructions
stressor.
Suffering from a since a new (or stressed)
bad case of Cook the Right parent may not have the
brainpower to remember
mastitis, the flu, Stuff
bronchitis … verbal instructions.
Get Organized to support you with a Consider meals with As the saying goes, food
meal train.” It’s harder to you get the picture separate elements that
When people are can be assembled (or is love, and meal trains
adjusting to life with a new say no when there’s no Adjusting not) so that picky eaters make a real impact.
baby or enduring an question posed. Got her to a crazy new Lauren Morrill-Ragusea, of
on board? Send the commute can enjoy them too. Easy
illness, a hospital stay, or winners: tortillas with Macon, Georgia, recalls,
another stressful situation, family a questionnaire to Nursing a sick assorted taco fillings, “I was on the receiving
making dinner can seem learn about their favorite kid, a sick spouse, buttered pasta with sauce end of a meal train when
like a Herculean task. And foods as well as any or a sick parent and meatballs on the my 2-year-old broke his
yet it can be hard for them food allergies and dietary leg the day after we
restrictions. Ask if they side, lettuce in a zip-top
to accept help, especially Renovating the bag with chopped salad brought his new brother
when it’s a coordinated have space for meals in kitchen toppings in separate home from the hospital.
and “official” effort to their freezer, if the meals bags, or a deluxe cheese Six weeks with a toddler
deliver food on the regular. should be delivered at Coping with a plate with fresh produce, in a body cast and a
Megan Tucker, of Arvada, a certain time of day, and spouse on a long newborn … that meal train
whether they can put a work trip meats, and crackers.
Colorado, has organized saved us!” When you’re
more than 50 meal trains, cooler by the front door Grieving the loss of While casseroles are going through a hard
and she suggests a small for nonintrusive drop-offs. a family member make-and-take classics, time, just knowing people
tweak in how you make Then use this information there are so many other care enough to cook
the offer. Instead of asking to create a meal train at Parenting solo options. “We specified and deliver a meal is
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P A R E N T S 112 D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 9

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A D V I C E A S Y O U R C H I L D G R O W S

E X T R A !
Kindness
Tips
From Our
Advisors





















a few days after the onset of a cold. Other
Help her cough.
Since babies don’t have the muscle signs to watch for include wheezing or
0–12 M O N T H S strength to cough effectively yet, it can be rapid, strained breathing, which may
tough for them to clear phlegm. One way indicate a virus or pneumonia.
to help: Take her into the bathroom and Sources: Michael D. Patrick, M.D., assistant professor
H O W T O turn on the shower to make the air hot of pediatrics at The Ohio State University of Medicine,
in Columbus; Charla Tabet, an early childhood special
Ease Cold and steamy. It will get her nose running, educator for the U.S. Air Force, in Aviano, Italy; Stanley
W. Spinner, M.D., chief medical officer of Texas
loosen the mucus in her throat, and make
Symptoms her coughs more productive. Try doing it Children’s Pediatrics, in Houston; William A. Varley,
M.D., medical director of UPMC Children’s Express
before bed, since mucus tends to drain Care with Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh.
by JENNIFER RAINEY MARQUEZ
into her chest while she’s lying down.
Using a humidifier in her bedroom can
also help, but be sure to keep it out of her
reach and fill it with new water every
Clear out mucus. 1 – 2 Y E A R S
Of all the milestones your baby will day so it doesn’t get moldy.
encounter in his first year, few may be as
heartbreaking as his first cold. For the Watch for warning signs. H O W T O
first six months, babies tend to breathe If your baby’s symptoms seem to be
through their nose, so congestion can getting worse, it may be time to contact Move From
hit them especially hard. The standard your pediatrician. For infants up to Crib to Bed
blue bulb syringe can be too big for your 3 months, any fever over 100.4°F is a
baby’s nostrils, so try the smaller green “call your doctor right away” scenario. by RACHEL RABKIN PEACHMAN
version that’s marketed as an ear syringe. For older babies, look for a fever that lasts
After putting it in his nostril, tilt the tip more than three days or that develops
down slightly so it’s perpendicular to
Look for clues.
his face, and gently push it in. You can The clearest indication that it’s time
also use saltwater nose drops to help to ditch the crib is that your child is
loosen the congestion. Buy some at the climbing over the railing, which could
drugstore, or make your own by mixing a O N E K I N D T H I N G YO U C A N lead to a serious injury. Try to encourage
D O F O R YO U R K I D
quarter teaspoon of salt with eight ounces your little one to stay in his crib by
of water, boiling it for ten minutes, and then “Talk to your baby catching him the moment he starts to
cooling it to room temperature. even if she can’t talk yet. climb. You may also hear (or see) him
She loves the
attention, eye contact, and banging into the railings while he’s
GET MORE mystery of it all.” sleeping, which may mean he’s feeling
AGE-SPECIFIC TIPS cramped in the existing space. One way
Scan this code with —Harold S. Koplewicz, M.D.; to gauge his readiness: See how he does
your phone’s camera Child Mind Institute
to subscribe to napping in someone else’s toddler bed.
our daily newsletter If it goes smoothly, your child is probably
(no app needed).
capable of doing this at home too.




P A R E N T S 115 D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 9
illustration by ROBIN ROSENTHAL

AGES + STAGES





subject, get your toddler used to the idea switch him back to the crib for another
Prep for the switch.
Depending on your child’s personality, by reading books (such as Sesame Street’s month or two. He’ll make the move
you may want to talk about her new bed Big Enough for a Bed, by Apple Jordan) eventually, and there’s no point in either of
in advance of its arrival. Some kids need and telling her how nice it will be. You you losing sleep over it in the meantime.
lots of preparation for such changes, while can also give her some say in the decision Sources: Parents advisor Jodi Mindell, Ph.D., author of
others are very adaptable. Make sure the by taking her shopping to pick out new Sleeping Through the Night; Lynn Davidson, M.D., a
developmental pediatrician at The Children’s Hospital
switch doesn’t coincide with any major sheets, a night-light, or a comforter. at Montefiore, in Bronx, New York; Marc Weissbluth,
breaks from the norm in her routine, M.D., author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.
such as moving to a new house or starting Make it a new routine.
preschool. Once you’ve broached the When the exciting day arrives, try to
make your child’s sleep zone feel as
familiar and safe as possible. If you 3 – 4 Y E A R S
can, put the bed exactly where the crib
was, and don’t forget his lovey or special
blanket. However, sooner or later your H O W T O
O N E K I N D T H I N G YO U C A N
D O F O R YO U R K I D child will probably recognize his new Build Good
“Sleep train your freedom and roam outside his room
toddler! It will help when he should be fast asleep. To break Listening Skills
everyone in the family this habit, calmly tuck him back into bed.
by KATHLEEN M. REILLY
feel rested and get Provide an incentive for staying put
the sleep they need.” (such as offering to make his favorite
—Jodi Mindell, Ph.D.; breakfast in the morning) and a negative
Pediatric Sleep Council consequence for repeated “curtain calls” Don’t assume she’s ignoring you.
(perhaps temporarily taking away his toy If your preschooler doesn’t pay attention
train set). If you find that the new bed to your directions, she’s not necessarily
isn’t working well for your child, just trying to be defiant. She may want to







Trademarks owned by Société des Produits Nestlé S.A., Vevey, Switzerland.

follow your instructions but doesn’t have won’t seem as abrupt and she’ll be in the
the skills yet—and instead of failing, she right mindset to cooperate.
won’t do it at all. So when you ask her to Sources: Kyle Pruett, M.D., clinical professor
put on her shoes but she wanders off, get O N E K I N D T H I N G YO U C A N in the Child Study Center at Yale School of Medicine;
D O F O R YO U R K I D Gail Gross, Ph.D., Ed.D., a psychologist in Houston;
down on her level, make eye contact, Suzanne Kaseta, M.D., a pediatrician at Washingtonville
“Tell the truth. Even white
and ask what she’s having trouble with. Pediatrics, in New York.
lies like ‘The park is
closed’ are inconsiderate.
Show the way.
Honestly saying
When you announce, “Time to wash
‘I know you want to go to the
your hands!” and your child plops onto 5 – 6 Y E A R S
park today, but we have
the couch, lead by example. Encourage
to go grocery shopping’ is
him to pull his stool up to the sink while
respectful.”
you stand beside him and wash your H O W T O
—Wendy L. Hunter, M.D.; Rady
hands too. It’s more fun when he doesn’t
Children’s Hospital–San Diego Avoid Getting
have to do it alone. You’ll be modeling
how to stick to a routine (always washing Embarrassed
up before a meal) and stay on task.
by TAMEKIA REECE
Eventually, it will become a habit.
her that she can only spend ten minutes
Think about transitions. in the tub if she wants to read a book.
Sometimes the issue isn't your child’s Consider giving her a warning like, "Hey, Practice social skills.
willingness to listen but how much she’s we need to get out and dry off in five Even though embarrassment peaks in
enjoying what she’s already doing. It’s minutes.” You can even give a second the tween years, kids can start feeling
important to establish routines so she alert about two minutes before she self-conscious in kindergarten and first
knows what’s coming next. If she always should start picking up her bath toys. grade. Being the center of attention is
takes a bath before storytime, remind When the time comes to stop playing, it uncomfortable for many kids because

AGES + STAGES
the marketplace




they don’t know how to act and they
worry they’ll do something wrong. So
when you introduce your daughter to
YOUR OWN BACKYARD ICE RINK. your friends, she might clam up. To help 7 + Y E A R S
Everything you need is at .com her, brainstorm together what to do or
say so she doesn’t feel as flustered. It H O W T O
could be as simple as her looking up and
saying, “It’s nice to meet you,” then Strengthen
waiting patiently while you talk.
Spelling Skills
Teach him to laugh things off. by MARISA COHEN
A blunder in front of peers is awkward
for 5- and 6-year-olds because they
want to make new friends. If your son Make it more exciting.
® drops his lunch in the cafeteria, he may
If your child thinks of spelling as a
want to hide. But let him know that it’s
chore, sit together and watch the
okay to make light of things like this.
amazing documentary Spellbound or
While his first reaction may be to cry,
the feature film Akeelah and the Bee,
encourage him to tell a joke or say both of which make spelling bees seem
something like, “That was silly.” Remind
(not .com) thrilling. Then hold your own mini bee
him to be nice to other kids when they at home and have your child write words
mess up so they’ll do that for him. on a dry-erase board or spell them
NEED in the air with his finger. That tactile
SPACE? Handle body issues. sense of actually writing a word will
DREAM Kids this age are starting to pay make it easier for him to learn it. A
HIGHER! attention to appearances. If your child few other ways to make spelling more

Custom Loft and sees she’s not the same in some way, she fun at home: Write words on individual
Bunk Beds for may feel self-conscious. Consider index cards, then cut them in half and
youth, teen, reading It’s Okay to Be Different, by Todd
college & adults. Parr, to help her understand that every play a matching game, or have your child
Space-saving beds body is unique. Explain that everyone pretend to be the teacher and explain
in twin, full, queen to you how words are spelled.
& king sizes. Visit our website for creative passes gas, burps, or has stomach
design ideas for sleep, study & storage beds. grumbles from time to time. Remind her Nail down tricky ones.
Solid wood, Ready-To-Assemble & Hand- that if she says “Excuse me” and doesn’t If you see that your child got a word
crafted in the USA. 866-739-2331 make it a big deal, chances are other wrong on her homework, don’t just tell
YouthBedLofts.com/parents people won’t either. her the correct spelling. Instead, see if

Sources: Eleonora Villegas-Reimers, Ed.D., chair of she can sound it out on her own, then
the department of special and elementary education
at Wheelock College, in Boston; Erik A. Fisher, Ph.D., use an online dictionary like Merriam
coauthor of The Art of Empowered Parenting: The -Webster.com to look it up together.
Manual You Wish Your Kids Came With.
Bonus: Your child can also hear the
correct pronunciation there. For
children (and for some grown-ups!),
certain word groups, such as your/
O N E K I N D T H I N G YO U C A N you’re, to/too/two, its/it’s, whose/
who’s, and they’re/there/their can
D O F O R YO U R K I D
“Take your child to your be continually tricky. If you notice your
workplace on a weekend child is consistently getting those
so she can see where words wrong, have her write the group
you go during the day. Show down on an index card, then use
her the pictures them in three separate sentences on
you keep of her on your the back so she can see the different
desk, and tell her ways the words are used.
you think about her a lot.”
—Harley A. Rotbart, M.D.; Take advantage of technology.
author of No Regrets Parenting
Surprisingly, researchers have
found that kids ages 10 to 12 who text
frequently have had improvements




P A R E N T S 118 D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 9
To advertise, 860-542-5180 or [email protected]

O N E K I N D T H I N G YO U C A N
D O F O R YO U R K I D
“Don’t leap to solve
problems that
your child can figure
out on his own.”
—Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D.;
author of Kid Confidence









in spelling and literacy, possibly
because texting shortcuts forced
them to think about how words are
created phonetically. So if your kid
is attached to a phone or an iPad
anyway, why not use it to help him
practice spelling? Look for apps like
VocabularySpellingCity (free; App
Store and Google Play), which lets
kids play word games using different
spelling lists. Montessori Crosswords
($3; App Store) boosts spelling skills
by having players build words in a
grid using different phonics patterns.
Sources: Emily Levy, Ed.D., founder of EBL
Coaching in New York City and author of the
Flags & Stars series of spelling workbooks;
J. Richard Gentry, Ph.D., author of the textbook
series Spelling Connections.



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NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO
PARTICIPATE. Send your funny story
to [email protected].
Include your full mailing address,
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Open to legal residents of the
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One submission per person per email
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GOT A FUNNY
KID QUOTE TO
SHARE?
Scan this code with
your phone’s camera
to submit it for a
chance to be featured
(no app needed).

Nathan, 3


A family friend asked my son how old
he was. My son looked at him very seriously
and said, “Well, I’m 3 years old, but
when I go to Disneyland, I’m 2.”
Ivan, 4
Marina Ferre; Reseda, CA
My son woke
me up one

morning and
said, “Mommy,
I have some
good news
and some bad
news. I peed
in my bed,
but it dried!”

Michelle Holt Townes, 9
Phoenix, AZ Kasim, 3
My son asked
At a barbecue, my what his cousins’ Mariah, 4
son exclaimed, nationalities
“My burger were, and his I was teaching
has so many grandmother my daughter her
sprinkles!” told him body parts and
I turned around they were started telling PARENTS (ISSN 1083-6373); December 2019, Vol. 94, No. 12, is published monthly by Meredith Corporation, 1716 Locust Street, Des Moines, IA 50309-3023. Periodicals postage paid at Des Moines, IA, and at additional mailing offices. Subscription prices, $15.98 per year in the U.S.; $27.00 (U.S. dollars) in Canada; $49.00 (U.S. dollars) overseas. POSTMASTER: Send all UAA to CFS. (See DMM 507.1.5.2); NON-POSTAL AND MILITARY FACILITIES: Send address corrections to Pa
to see that he Scandinavian her about her

was referring and Irish. foot. I asked her
to all the sesame He responded, where her heels
Olivia, 8 seeds on his “Oh, I thought were, and she
burger bun. they were replied, “In the
I jokingly said, vegetarian!” closet.”
Marvi Rind
“Children are Aldie, VA Suzette
never mad at Cristine Wurm McCray-Washington
Minneapolis, MN
their moms.” Myrtle Beach, SC
Olivia quickly
replied, “No,
they’re just
disappointed.”

Heather Warlan
San Diego, CA

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