FourFourTwo - UK (February 2020)

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their attacking threat. Until they adjusted, the Sheringham, deep in his own half. Taking his also won a whopping eight corners in the first
Dutch had a dilemma – defences hate it if they time despite a late Cruyff lunge at his ankles, half; Barry Davies felt obliged to say, “England
don’t have a numerical advantage.” Sheringham sent McManaman – going beyond really need half-time here”. Five minutes after
Gareth Southgate would step back into the the front two as instructed – scampering deep the oranges, however, Sheringham nodded in
Three Lions’ backline... up to a point: he was into the Dutch half. He waited for Ince, then Paul Gascoigne’s set-piece and the hosts had
detailed to mark Dennis Bergkamp. The BBC’s slipped him a neat pass. England’s defensive a two-goal cushion. “Against such a talented
pre-game graphic displayed England’s starting midfielder flicked the ball behind his standing country, you think that if you don’t carry on
XI against Scotland as a 3-1-1-3-1-1, which leg, and Danny Blind fouled him in the box. scoring they can turn it around,” Sheringham
was not so much a formation as a telephone When FFT mentions the penalty, Ince plays tells FFT. “Tides turn very quickly.”
number. Now they would combine two solid dumb: “Oh, I forgot about that… was that me? But better was to come just eight minutes
banks of four with the attacking fluidity of their Funnily enough, I showed it to my son a year later. Tony Adams intercepted a Dutch ball in
opponents. As Ince reminisces, “If you think ago and he felt I dived! I said, ‘Thomas, son, in the centre and thought about bursting forth,
about that game, it just went to perfection.” those days we didn’t dive – football’s changed before wisely ceding possession to Gascoigne.
Perfection started on a balmy midsummer’s a lot’. But yeah, that set us up really nicely.” The Geordie loped forward, wall-passing with
Tuesday evening. Having made their way from Did it ever. Unlike Gary McAllister’s spot-kick Anderton, then McManaman, who sent him in
Burnham Beeches through waving flags and at the same end three days earlier, Shearer’s at the corner of the 18-yard box. Wembley’s
cheering crowds, the squad learned that the powerful penalty was never being saved, even excited hubbub became an expectant roar
group winners would meet Spain at Wembley, with a 6ft 5in Edwin van der Sar at full Stretch as they imagined more Scotland-style magic.
where England had played every game to that Armstrong extension and guessing correctly. Sure enough, Gazza beat a man, but then he
point, while the runners-up would face France “After that they went – you could just see laid the ball to Sheringham, who’d drifted into
at Anfield. Having scored more goals than the it,” continues Ince. “They thought they could a perfect pocket from which to pull the trigger. 
Dutch, England needed only a draw to top the come to Wembley, big pitch, and play at their “I could have had a shot if Alan wasn’t there
group – but they’d do it in rather finer style.  Left The August 1996 own pace. Once they couldn’t do that, they but, seeing him out of the corner of my eye in
issue of FFT conveys didn’t have a Plan B and we swamped them.” a better position, only the pass felt right,” says
Early Dutch possession rarely encroached the mood of a nation It might have been so different had David Sheringham. “It was simply a case of picking
on English territory, as per the plan. Below Blind’s stolen Seaman not brilliantly denied his club-mate, your spot and hitting it,” deadpanned Shearer.
“We started nicking a few balls, then got on a yard there – retake! Bergkamp, just before the break. The Oranje It was more than that. In just 20 seconds on
the front foot,” recalls Ince. “All of a sudden, the ball, England had probed, passed, dribbled,
they started dropping back, as Terry had said feinted and walloped. “And you have to say
they would. Once we started playing, they just it’s magnificent,” Barry Davies told a gobstruck
couldn’t get the ball off us.” nation. Netherlands 0-3 England (Shearer 57).
England’s opening goal came from a Dutch While Gascoigne danced in front of the Royal
corner. Anderton won an aerial duel with Jordi Box, McManaman’s face betrayed something
Cruyff, and Ince slipped the bouncing ball to like disbelief. But this was all part of the plan.  

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“That goal was perfect,” muses Sheringham. unwise. “That killed me. It was in a couple of
“We overloaded and found the extra man – people’s minds that we wanted to exact a bit
that’s what you look for in a team with Macca, of revenge. And we did.” 
Darren, Gazza and Alan. It was an attacking
formation that wanted to interact, pass and The press were in raptures.
move. That was the beauty. You have to ask “England outplayed the Dutch in every area,”
questions and Terry always asked questions.” wrote The Independent’s Glenn Moore. David
confirmed that, by conceding, Venables’ team Above Dutch fans Lacey of The Guardian admired Venables’ men
At 3-0, Barry Davies wondered aloud if one had accidentally pushed Scotland towards the live to chant another not just beating the Netherlands but “sweeping
or both strikers should be protected from exit door, unless Craig Brown’s men could net day after Kluivert’s past them amid such a cannonade of goals”.
suspension, but both still had a part to play. another. They couldn’t, and sympathy was in consolation strike Steve Curry enjoyed “a torrent of irresistible
Five minutes after scoring his second and short supply. “We didn’t know at the time, but Below Shearer tries English play” (the Daily Express); Rob Hughes
England’s third, Shearer bothered the ball off when we found out in the dressing room it was to extract the extra acclaimed the “pace, passion and power” on
a defender and allowed Anderton to crack one hilarious,” says Sheringham, chuckling.  yard that lives inside “the best night English football has known for
from 20 yards. A deflection forced Van der Sar Despite saving their skins, the Dutch had still Sheringham’s head many years” (The Times); and the Daily Mail’s
to spill it; Sheringham mopped up. Three goals suffered their heaviest defeat for 20 years, and Jeff Powell dared to compare, calling it “The
in 12 minutes had destroyed the favourites. they couldn’t call it undeserved. To be fair, they best since 1966.”
Now Venables did make a substitution with didn’t. Bergkamp led the chorus of admiration: While the pressmen phoned through their
suspensions in mind. Ince had received his “Before the competition began, everyone was hallelujahs, the protagonists mulled England’s
second yellow card of the tournament, ruling laughing about England and their style – they potential. As assistant Bryan Robson recalls,
him out of the now-inevitable quarter-final.  won’t be laughing now.” De Boer tells us now “To take on a really good team and beat them
“David Platt came on for me – I was fuming,” that, “We were totally blown away. It felt like so convincingly was the moment I knew this
says Ince. “I was effing and blinding, saying, a reality check which took us back to basics.” England squad was onto something special.”
‘Hey, are you taking the piss? F**king hell!’ He If England’s win was surprising (FFT’s jokey Sheringham even goes two steps further. “It
[Venables] said, ‘But Incey, you’re suspended ‘best-case scenario’ pre-tournament had them must be the highlight of my footballing life,”
for the next game – I want to see how another topping the group by drawing with the Dutch), he says. “Everyone talks to me about 1999,
player gets on.’ I said, ‘More f**king reason to the scoreline was so unexpected that it wasn’t winning the Treble, but for me it’s playing for
keep me on!’ Even though it was such a great even on Ladbrokes’ pre-match coupon.  England at Wembley, in a major competition,
night for us, I wasn’t happy at the end.” For the elder statesmen in a revived squad, beating Holland 4-1 the way we did, scoring
Neither were the Scots. They’d edged ahead it was also payback for Rotterdam in 1993, two goals and being made man of the match.
of Switzerland at Villa Park and, with the Dutch when Ronald Koeman evaded a clear red card It doesn’t get much better than that.”
now losing 4-0, were poised to sneak into the for a pull on Platt, before rumbling up the other Venables couldn’t help but enjoy the press
last eight. But as England’s fans settled into end to score and effectively finish off England’s reception, though perhaps the sweetest report
party mode, Bergkamp sent substitute Patrick hopes of qualifying for USA 94. Ince was one came from his opposite number, Hiddink, who
Kluivert gliding between defenders to convert of the Euro 96 squad’s five survivors from that said: “We must recognise that they taught us
through Seaman’s legs. “We got very lucky to night, and he still bristles at the mention of a lesson in every sense of the game.”
score one, because 5-0 or 6-0 would have been a match that made Graham Taylor – who had Expected to breeze past the Swiss, narrowly
more logical at that moment,” Ronald de Boer allowed a documentary crew to follow him – outbox the Scots and then struggle against
tells FFT. “It’s one of the most embarrassing a pre-internet meme.  the Dutch, Venables’ England had done it in
defeats in my career – I was used to winning.”  “Koeman should have been sent off and we reverse and were settling into the tournament,
Mild disappointment among England fans would have qualified,” Ince tells FFT today, in like a proper grown-up contender. So, how far
soon turned to schadenfreude as calculations a tone that suggests an argument would be could they go?

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JUNE 19


TURKEY 0-3 DENMARK

CROATIA 0-3 PORTUGAL

RUSSIA 3-3 CZECH REPUBLIC


ITALY 0-0 GERMANY


STORY OF THE DAY World Cup finalists two
years earlier, Italy fail to get out of their group
at a tournament for the first time since 1974.
To avoid an airport full of flung tomatoes, the
Azzurri need a better result than the Czechs,
who beat Arrigo Sacchi’s semi-reserves five
days earlier. But Zola’s penalty at Old Trafford
is kept out by an inspired Andreas Kopke, and
Germany’s 10 men hold on for a draw.
At about 9.15pm that still seems enough for
Italy, owing to simultaneous events at Anfield.
At 2-0 down, Russia need to score five in order
to qualify themselves – and give it a good go,
surging 3-2 up with five minutes left. But then
Vladimir Smicer nets his first international goal
to send the Czechs through and Italy home.
In Group D, Portugal find a cutting edge for
their lovely build-up play and steamroller an
already-qualified, much-changed Croatia 3-0
in Nottingham. That means it’s curtains for the
holders, Denmark, despite their 3-0 triumph
at Hillsborough over happy-to-be-here Turkey.
THE GOOD Twelve goals in three games (split
weirdly between four teams scoring three and
four teams scoring none), with the other clash
a tense tie between two titans, ending in a big
story. Teatime offers Brian Laudrup at his most
exquisite as well as a Portugal side looking like
a genuine threat, then the evening meal has
Italy throwing everything forward at the same
time as a six-goal thriller some 30 miles away.
That was the groups; bring on the knockouts.
THE BAD Sacchi never really recovers from
Euro 96 – by December he’s back at Milan, but
the magic is gone. And Paolo Maldini, heralded
as the leading left-back in the world, has been
mystifyingly mediocre (yet automatically gets
voted into the team of tournament) and he’s
turning 28... although, as it happens, he’ll tot
up another 13 seasons, another 50-odd caps
and another two Champions League trophies.
THEY SAID WHAT?! “English grass invites
you to walk on it, run on it, even throw yourself
on it; I have decided to grow English grass in
front of my house at home” – Croatia’s reserve
keeper, Marijan Mrmic, who played in a friendly
at Wembley two months previously and today
gets to throw himself around the City Ground.
THE MEDIA After the national team’s early
elimination, Daily Record billboards promise
a “12-page Scotland Agony Special in colour!”
IN OTHER NEWS... Eschewing alternative
options like Bromley-by-Bow, the Birmingham
NEC and Derby County’s still-in-progress Pride
Park, John Major’s Tory government settles on
an underused and underloved stretch of the
Greenwich peninsula as the place for planned
exhibition space, the Millennium Dome.


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JUNE 22 REPORT Italy, Germany and the Netherlands in these
very pages in May 1996, but he finished with:
QUARTER-FINALS ENGLAND RIDE THEIR LUCK AND “They’ve all got good players and knowhow…
but I think Spain are stronger.”
Opposite number Javier Clemente – a sort of
SPAIN 0-0 ENGLAND (P) Basque Brian Clough – was feeling confident.
FRANCE (P) 0-0 NETHERLANDS A WAVE OF NATIONALIST PRIDE “Zubizarreta, Alkorta, Sergi, Hierro, Caminero,”
he responded to FFT’s question about who the
players of the tournament could be. “What do
STORY OF THE DAY The afternoon events As the closing notes of God Save The Queen they all have in common?”
at Wembley foreshadow similar tension in the hung in the north London sky on a baking Spain had made a meal of getting through
evening, as France and the Dutch manage one hot June 23 afternoon, Stuart Pearce turned their group, however, drawing with Bulgaria
decent first-half opportunity apiece at Anfield. to Gareth Southgate, beaming with pride. and France before needing a Guillermo Amor
The second half is different only in that they’re Seldom had the England pair experienced goal six minutes from time to beat Romania.
fitfully attacking different ends, though Phillip an atmosphere anything like this – particularly Now they were facing the hosts, who were on
Cocu’s deflected free-kick kisses a post and Southgate, a well-mannered young lad from a high after a big win against the Netherlands.
Bernard Lama saves from Clarence Seedorf. the Home Counties who was still a little green “You know what you’re going to face,” says
And so to the shootout. Six uniformly fantastic when it came to the raucousness created in Abelardo. “You are going into the lions’ den –
penalties are tucked home but then Seedorf England’s summer of football love. a team that’s up for it, tactically well drilled,
misses – and no one else falters. Stepping up Tens of thousands of supporters went mad, with a full crowd at Wembley, a stadium which
last, Laurent Blanc seals a semi-final spot for a wall of noise swelling to deafening decibels. is a big deal for any foreign team.
France, whose tournament decade post-1986 Pints of piss then began to rain down from the “The atmosphere that day was spectacular.
consisted of three failures to qualify either side well-lubricated crowd. It definitely felt like fulfilling a lifelong ambition,
of three winless group games at Euro 92. “And another one, please!” came the raspy playing in such an important match against
THE GOOD Giving every overgrown schoolboy voice of Johnny Rotten across the PA system. a host country. If you can’t enjoy a game like
a little snigger with his name, Johan de Kock “Who wants a good shag?” Below David Seaman that, then you never will.
appears willing to live down to their juvenility, delights supporters “We knew all about ‘Football’s coming home’.
faffing about with his shorts before smashing Some 24 hours before the Sex Pistols were and headline-writers It was a very good song, and you’d almost find
his penalty against the crossbar, down behind introduced to the Finsbury Park stage by across all of England yourself humming it to yourself, too!”
Lama and back up into the roof of the net. Southgate and punk-loving Pearce, the duo
THE BAD Viewers at home watch four hours lined up for the traditional version of 1977’s
of football with not a single goal scored all day. visceral takedown of the establishment,
Meanwhile, Anfield’s stands are awash with ahead of a quarter-final tie against Spain.
orange facepaint dissolved by tears as there’s The atmosphere inside Wembley was no less
more shootout heartache for the Netherlands, intense than that at Finsbury Park, albeit with
who had lost to Denmark on penalties in the fewer excreted projectiles or Johnny Rotten’s
Euro 92 semi-finals. They will later repeat the awkward attempts to get laid. Whipped into
trick in the semi-finals of France 98 (to Brazil) a frenzy by England’s stunning 4-1 win over
and Euro 2000 (to Italy). the Dutch, the tabloid press had decided now
THEY SAID WHAT?! “Gary Neville is petrified was the time to invoke a bit of old-fashioned
of you lot. He’s young, he’s reading the papers xenophobia on proceedings.
and he’s coming up to me, asking: ‘Have you “You’re done, Juan,” read the Daily Mirror’s
seen what they’re saying?’” – Terry Venables front page, alongside a picture of a Beefeater
on his players’ hostility to the press. preparing to behead a matador. When it was
THE MEDIA The Times’ front page describes reported the day before the match that the
England’s showdown with Spain as “the most Spanish FA had returned 5,000 unsold tickets,
important [clash] between the countries since the papers wasted no time piling in. “It’s the
1588”. It isn’t only hyperbole, but underplays biggest retreat since Sir Francis Drake sent the
the Anglo-Spanish Wars of both 1625-30 and Spanish Armada packing in 1588,” crowed The
1654-60, the War of the Spanish Succession Sun, rarely backwards about coming forwards
(1701-14), the Anglo-Spanish War of 1727-29, when it comes to remembering a shellacking
the Seven Years’ War (1756-1763), the Battle of Johnny Foreigner.
of Trafalgar... you get the idea. “Not only are there mad cows in England,”
IN OTHER NEWS... Sourav Ganguly scores winked Spain’s daily sports paper El Mundo
131 on his Test debut at Lord’s – he’ll go on Deportivo, “the English press is also infected.”
to become India’s most successful captain. Up to now, Spain had been shielded from the
London bubble for their three group games
against Bulgaria, France and Romania, which
were all played in Leeds.
“I loved every minute of Euro 96,” defender
Abelardo tells FFT. “There was this… feeling,
different to anything I’d experienced at other
tournaments, like something was happening.
I’d dreamt of being part of something like that
since I was a kid.”
Spain were 19 games unbeaten – they last
lost in the quarter-finals of USA 94, to Italy –
and they were the one team Venables didn’t
want to face. The England manager talked up


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England’s solitary change was, as expected, Below Psycho’s “Where was VAR when you need it?!” says FFT two and a half decades later. “We had no
David Platt for the suspended Paul Ince. bellow scares away Abelardo, laughing. “We had clearer chances, idea penalties were such a thing for England.”
“I was so gutted to miss the Spain match,” the ghosts of Turin but it was very equal. When you have a lot of Each team’s regular takers walked up first.
recalls Ince. “We always said the Spanish were things against you – the crowd and the feeling Shearer scored, but Fernando Hierro rattled
the team, so to get them – I feared that could around the whole country – you know if you the bar. Advantage England. Platt and Amor
be my tournament over.” don’t take your chances, you might regret it.” kept their nerve... before Wembley fell silent,
Abelardo would find himself in the very same Regret it they would, after a nerve-jangling onlookers unable to believe their eyes.
position for a possible semi-final, booked for extra time in which the hosts were a handful “A brave man steps forward to take England’s
going through the back of Alan Shearer inside of last-ditch tackles away from letting in the third,” said Davies. Stuart Pearce, who missed
the opening minute. “He was difficult to mark Golden Goal which would have eliminated in 1990, put the ball on the spot. The crowd’s
because he constantly changed positions with them at a stroke from their own tournament. collective heart rate rose.
Sheringham,” says the Spaniard. “After that, Six years on from Italia 90, English football’s “Terry Venables asked for some volunteers,
we had to change who we were picking up.” bête noire was back: a penalty shootout. Surely so I put my hand up,” Pearce told FFT in 2014.
Yet the Three Lions struggled for any rhythm Spain, freed of the psychological trauma that “He looked shocked and said, ‘Are you f**king
against La Roja’s narrow back three. Shearer had engulfed English football since Turin, were sure?’ Yes, I was. I was a good penalty-taker.
forced a fine save from Andoni Zubizarreta and the favourites here? Failure wouldn’t have been to miss again – it
later skied a volley at full stretch, while Tony “Did I know about England’s record? Er, no – would have been not to try.”
Adams – without an international goal since had they always won them?” Abelardo asks The man they called Psycho pummelled his
1988 – had a header tipped easily over the bar. penalty into the bottom-right corner, and his
But aside from a few balls into the box which fist-pumping, eyes-bulging, throat-shredding
nearly found their target, that was the extent explosion of catharsis became an iconic event
of England’s opportunities across 120 minutes. beyond football.
Twice Spain had the ball in the net, courtesy “The emotion completely consumed me,”
of Kiko and Julio Salinas, but twice the French said Pearce. “Even now, decades later, it’s the
linesman raised his flag. Replays immediately one picture I’m asked to sign the most. Show
showed that Salinas’ goal should have stood. that image to any football fan and they will
“Who’s to argue with the linesman?” the BBC’s know what game it was and what happened.”
Trevor Brooking asked of Barry Davies, tongue After Alberto Belsue and Paul Gascoigne had
pressed firmly in cheek. exchanged successful penalties, Miguel Angel
Nadal stepped forward. David Seaman dived
left and parried his shot away. The Three Lions
were, somewhat fortuitously, into the last four.
“You’ve got to say well done to Spain,” said
Tony Adams. “They showed why they’ve gone
so many games without losing.”
“It was our best performance of the entire
tournament,” Abelardo tells FFT. “I remember
feeling such jealousy watching England in the
semi-final, thinking, ‘That should be us’.”

Interestingly, no one in Spain – not even the
press – made anything of Hierro and Nadal
missing penalties. Neither have been asked
about it since. It happened; move on and win
in 90 minutes next time.
“Miguel Angel has a very big character and,
to be honest, we were all just consoling each
other because we’d gone out,” says Abelardo.
“You only miss because you’ve got the balls to
stand up and take a penalty. There was no way
I would ever be taking one – I was rubbish at
them. I don’t think I took one as a professional
– so who’s really the bad guy?”
Answer: the officials, at least in the opinion
of centre-forward Julio Salinas, still smarting
from his wrongly disallowed goal. “You can’t
play against 11 players, 80,000 fans and three
referees,” he huffed.
England, meanwhile, was unsurprisingly
ecstatic. A country that was already at fever
pitch had now turned up the dial way beyond
a Spinal Tap 11.
“Spain still can’t beat an English Seaman,”
cheered the Daily Telegraph, determined not
to miss out on yet another Armada pun. Sex
Pistols gigs provided an unlikely afterparty for
a nation losing its giddy mind.
There’s no future in England’s dreaming?
At least they now had a chance to find out.


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JUNE 23


QUARTER-FINALS

GERMANY 2-1 CROATIA

CZECH REPUBLIC 1-0 PORTUGAL



STORY OF THE DAY Berti Vogts’ Germany
reach the semi-finals by dispatching Croatia,
who can only blame themselves. First, Nikola
Jerkan stops a Matthias Sammer surge with
a gormless handball, which enables Jurgen
Klinsmann to gleefully gobble up the penalty.
Then, after some Davor Suker magic draws
Croatia level, Igor Stimac gives himself first go
of the soap and, three minutes later, Sammer
slams Germany into a lead they never lose.
Villa Park hosts the tournament’s remaining
outsiders in a tense teatime tete-a-tete. It isn’t
a thriller, despite – or because of – eight yellow
cards and a red, but it is decided by a goal of
exquisite beauty. Karel Poborsky spends the
rest of his life answering questions about his
scoop: taken from 17 yards out, its parabola
reaching a zenith of roughly 17 feet. On their
tournament debut, the Czechs are through to
a semi-final against France, although that’s
not the one the English media is fixated upon.
THE GOOD The goals. Poborsky’s is a clip-reel
staple, and deservedly so, but in its own way
Suker’s effort is just as good. Bearing down on
Andreas Kopke, the striker caresses the ball left
of Germany’s goalkeeper with the insouciance
of a festival-goer licking a suspicious roll-up.
While Kopke is left skidding on his arse across
the Old Trafford pitch, knowing he’s about to
concede his first goal of the finals, Suker tucks
the ball home with a right foot he usually uses
just for standing on.
THE BAD Croatia’s crudeness makes for an
entertainingly narky game, but it overshadows
their talent. Slaven Bilic gets away with kicking
out at a prone Christian Ziege, Stimac’s second
yellow card is for a daft challenge on Mehmet
Scholl, and by full-time there are more hacks
than a lunchtime Fleet Street boozer. All of this
devilish indiscipline overpowers their angelic
ability: across the entire tournament, Zvonimir
Boban and Robert Prosinecki (dropped for this
encounter, as is Alen Boksic) are disappointing.
THEY SAID WHAT?! “Thom Yorke looks like
he could play for the Czech Republic. You can
imagine the team photo – he’d be at the back
on the right, and you wouldn’t be able to work
out where he was looking” – Robert Smith of
The Cure, a QPR fan, likens Radiohead’s singer
to a Bohemian winger.
THE MEDIA “Our football team finally gets
the chance to do what our politicians are too
scared to: stuff it right up Europe!” – The Sun.
“Why are the English the only people in the
world who still claim that the ball crossed the
line in the 1966 final?” – German tabloid Bild.
IN OTHER NEWS... It’s ta-ta to Tutu as the
anti-apartheid activist archbishop, Desmond,
retires to focus on chairing South Africa’s Truth
and Reconciliation Commission.


56 February 2020 FourFourTwo



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JUNE 26 REPORT


SEMI-FINALS TWENTY-TWO MEN CHASE A BALL

FRANCE 0-0 CZECH REPUBLIC (P)

GERMANY (P) 1-1 ENGLAND AND AT THE END, THE GERMANS WIN



STORY OF THE DAY For the final time in For all of the history with Scotland, the
a World Cup or European Championship, both Germans were England’s real ‘old enemy’.
semi-finals are on the same day. Old Trafford Hosting a tournament again precisely
hosts what the Anglophone narrative might 30 years after beating West Germany in the
call an appetiser, but the French and Czechs World Cup final didn’t help to quell echoes
would call the main course. It’s far from tasty. of footballing history, but the echoes were
The Czechs are even more of an unknown largely tremors after July 30, 1966.
quantity than usual, missing four first-choice Of the next seven World Cup tournaments,
players through suspension, while the French England had reached only four and been sent
are shorn of Christian Karembeu and skipper home twice by the Germans, at Mexico 70 and
Didier Deschamps. With both playing one up Italia 90 – and the latter was the undisputed
top, this game seems destined for penalties. high point of England’s “30 years of hurt”. The
The fall guy is Reynald Pedros. Petr Kouba Three Lions whimpered from mediocrity to
watches the poor penalty and then saves it, misery while Die Mannschaft rolled serenely
allowing his captain, Miroslav Kadlec, to score on: World Cup ever-presents, twice winners,
the winner. Pedros is only 24 but his career twice runners-up. This was also their sixth
never recovers. The Czechs are in the final. semi-final in seven European Championships.
THE GOOD With another new finalist, the In those 30 years, the English had met the
European Championship maintains a proud Germans – either West or reunited – 13 times.
tradition of showcasing a newcomer to the They’d lost nine of those games and won only
endgame of a major tournament: Denmark in two: a rain-soaked Wembley friendly in 1975
1992, France 1984, Belgium 1980, Yugoslavia against an experimental side as the world
1968, Spain 1964, and both the Soviet Union champions rebuilt, and a literal warm-up in
and Yugoslavia back in 1960. By contrast, the Mexico City in June 1985 against an outfit
previous seven World Cup finals have been two days off the plane and collapsing in the
contested by the same pool of five nations, rarefied atmosphere. Those once-per-decade
with every global final since its inception meaningless wins did nothing to undermine
in 1930 having featured one of those sides. the Gary Lineker aphorism that, “Football
THE BAD If penalty shootouts are sport’s is a simple game: 22 men chase a ball for
sugar high, Euro 96 is crying out for a little 90 minutes, and at the end, the Germans win.”
fibre, fat and carbs. Four of the six knockout There was – still is – another overlay with
matches have ended in spot-kicks; notably, Germany: the conflict still known by its definite Above A very naive By semi-final day, Morgan had gone full
three have been lacking in actual football. article. ‘The war’. Events of 1939-45 loomed Shearer makes the tin-hat – literally. With Stuart Pearce and Paul
THEY SAID WHAT?! “There’s nothing more larger in 1996, and not just because they were classic rookie error Gascoigne mocked into Second World War
heart-breaking than to go out on penalties in 50 per cent closer. Many football fans – quite of scoring too early helmets, his front page bellowed: “ACHTUNG!
a semi-final. It’s like getting ready to sit down a few footballers, in fact – had grandparents Right England line up SURRENDER! For you Fritz, ze Euro 96
at a wonderful banquet, then somebody takes who’d gone through it, and therefore parents in indigo blue and Championship is over.” Similar headlines were
the chair from under you” – Terry Venables. who’d been brought up with it. it-needs-to-go red on the inside. Morgan contributed an editorial
THE MEDIA “The Sun has always maintained So, as the Germans appeared once again in parodying Neville Chamberlain’s declaration
a jingoistic approach rather than a xenophobic the path of historical narrative and Europhobia of war. He wanted his minions to drive a tank
one” – Currant Bun editor Stuart Higgins plants in parliament, the baser elements of the press to the offices of Bild, and to drop leaflets from
a flag in the moral high ground. saw fit to parade tired old tropes of ‘hilarious’ a Spitfire over the Germans’ training ground.
IN OTHER NEWS... Veronica Guerin, the racism. With Kelvin MacKenzie having left But Morgan’s tin hats were tin-eared. The
Irish crime reporter, is shot dead near Dublin. The Sun, the chief cheerleader for tabloid Foreign Office condemned the move, the
idiocy was MacKenzie’s old showbiz reporter, Press Complaints Commission were hit with
Piers Stefan Pughe-Morgan. Having dropped hundreds of complaints, and a cross-party
a barrel from his surname, Morgan had barged motion was tabled in the Commons. As Terry
his way into editing the Mirror from 1995, Venables noted: “It’s gone beyond rivalry in
and, trailing at the newsstand, he was using a football match and it’s not funny. The rest of
Euro 96 to court sales from the sort of people Europe is envying the wonderful atmosphere
who liked their papers to call a Scot a ‘Jock’, we’ve created, so let’s not spoil it.”
a Spaniard a ‘dago’ and a German... well…
We were warned. On Monday, June 24, The “Hello again. Glad you’ve tuned in. You’ve
Guardian’s David Lacey noted that “no doubt obviously heard that there’s a football
the next 72 hours will see certain sections of match tonight.”
the media resorting to the kind of childlike The dulcet baritone of host Des Lynam
jingoism that should have gone out with introduced the BBC’s coverage in his usual
Biggles.” That morning, the Mirror belched: style of knowing understatement, despite
“There is a strange smell in Berlin... and it’s sitting opposite a grinning Jimmy Hill in
not just the smell of their funny sausages.” a George Cross bow-tie.


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PIERS MORGAN:




“WE GOT IT WRONG”




































The morning after Germany beat Croatia
to set up a semi-final against England,
the Daily Mirror ran their ‘Achtung!
Surrender’ front page, declaring: ‘For
you Fritz, ze Euro 96 Championship is
over’. Piers Morgan was the Mirror’s
editor and said at the time it was “a joke
that people didn’t get, that’s all”. Today,
he tells FFT he made a poor decision

“I cringe now when I look back at the
‘Achtung! Surrender’ front page, and
‘We’re going to give you Edam good
thrashing’ before we played the Dutch –
Carded against Spain, Gary Neville had although we did. We were very jingoistic.
succumbed to the same second-yellow It was towards the end of that period
suspension that had previously done for Paul when tabloids were doing that, and you’d
Ince – who had his own worries. Though Ince have ’Allo ’Allo and Dad’s Army on TV.
had now served his suspension, England’s “On the day of the ‘Achtung! Surrender’
only continentally-based player (he was at front page, we declared football war on
Inter) wasn’t sure he’d get back into the side. Germany and had a tank that was going
“You start wondering: ‘Well, they’ve just got to roll into the offices of Bild newspaper,
through to the semis and I didn’t play in the the tabloid in Berlin. We also had a Spitfire
quarters, so am I going to play in the semis?’” that was going to dive-bomb the German
Ince confesses to FFT. “I started having a little training ground and drop the front page
panic! But of course I had to play. You can’t on their players as they trained. Both plans
have Incey out of the semis!” were aborted. The Spitfire was aborted on
Although Gary Neville’s brother, Phil, was the runway because we’d had a thousand
a fraternal like-for-like option, Venables opted complaints by 9am, and realised that this
for a back three. Pearce and Gareth Southgate may not be a good idea.
would flank Tony Adams, while David Platt “The reaction did surprise me, though,
Sadly for Jimmy, England and everybody stayed in midfield with Ince and Gascoigne. because I had grown up working on Kelvin
outside Umbro’s kit sales department, Sir Bert It was certainly fluid – an XI designed to suit MacKenzie’s Sun when that sort of thing
Millichip lost the coin toss and England, for all occasions. “Our system was flexible,” was par for the course and was all seen to
the first time in the tournament, were forced Venables explained in specific relation to the be good tabloid fun. But it was a wake-up
to wear an “indigo blue” that looked quite semi-final. “If they played with two men up call, and the moment when the press got
a lot like grey. Also suffering an oh-so-’90s kit top, we would play three at the back, but if a message of ‘Cut out the xenophobia and
malfunction was crooner Paul Young, who just they’d gone with three then we would have jingoism, because that kind of humour is
about got through the national anthem in an had four in defence. I knew I could respond done’ – and quite rightly.
off-white suit not unlike those worn on the at any stage.” In five matches, the England “Things are very different these days.
same pitch six weeks earlier by Liverpool. manager made several tactical tweaks but You wouldn’t see any headlines like that
As with the quarter-final, Venables would just two changes to his starting line-up, and any more, and rightly so. We’ve all moved
have to do without one of his magnificent XI. those were enforced through suspensions. on and, dare I say, grown up a little bit.”


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Germany had problems of their own to striker’s first international goal in 16 games
solve. With strikers Jurgen Klinsmann and since September 7, 1994 – the same day
Oliver Bierhoff injured, Berti Vogts turned to Shearer’s now-forgotten drought had started.
a frontman who was knocking on 34, and With both sides playing five in midfield
whose four previous goals in 21 caps had – Germany arguably playing six, including
all come in friendlies. Thus far, he had been Matthias Sammer, Europe’s last great libero
best known as a surname-based punchline: – the semi-final might well have become
Stefan Kuntz. If ever there was a time to tensely territorial. Yet, for all their necessary
beat Germany, it was now. solidity against Spain, Venables’ XI were an
But, as Alan Shearer told FFT, “We didn’t attacking assortment at heart. This was
dwell on the previous stuff. We didn’t think a team that supported its two strikers with
of old encounters. We felt that we could go McManaman, Anderton and Gascoigne, as
on and win this.” well as Platt breaking forward in the manner
that had brought him 27 goals in 62 caps –
Not for the first time in the tournament, three behind Shearer’s 30 from 63 and just
England started like a team full of belief. In 53 matches since Euro 92, Germany had two fewer than Frank Lampard’s 29 in 106.
Within the first two minutes, Ince had only twice gone two goals behind (to Brazil While each team had spells in command,
announced his return to the line-up with and to Jack Charlton’s Republic of Ireland), the semi-final rarely spent much time as
a stinging 25-yarder that Andreas Kopke was and they were in no mood to bag the hat-trick. one-way traffic in either direction. Germany
glad to parry over. Then Adams flicked on Probing around the edge of the area, Andreas ceded the initiative to England by half-time,
Gascoigne’s corner for an unmarked Shearer Moller, captain and Italia 90 survivor, played in with Sheringham and Shearer both keeping
to nod home his fifth goal in five games at centre-back Thomas Helmer past Southgate, Kopke honest. The second half was tighter,
Euro 96, ultimately earning him the Golden and Pearce didn’t notice Kuntz slipping behind with Helmer going closest, and suddenly
Boot. There were 133 seconds on the clock. him at the far post to level. It was the stopgap England were going to extra time again.


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THE PARTY’S OVER FOR CARRA


For an 18-year-old Jamie Carragher, Euro 96 was much more than a run to the semi-finals


“Euro 96 was probably the first time I went specs, but that’s how it felt: us winning the
out properly and had a drink. We had won Youth Cup, Euro 96, and everyone enjoying
the Youth Cup at Liverpool that season, so themselves... It’s a great time to look back on.
it was a big thing to be going out with your “I felt sick watching the Germany match,
mates. It seemed like every game was on though. That was an evening game and I was
a Saturday afternoon, or an afternoon at at the local pub, probably drinking too much.
least, so I remember everyone congregating Some of my mates headed off into town, but
in the local pub, watching all of the matches. I stuck around. I was gutted. It felt like a big
Euro 96 was to blame for my introduction to comedown for the rest of the country.
alcohol, I think. “To be honest, though, I’m not even sure
“It felt like a brilliant time in the mid-90s – that I was gutted about the football – it just
like everyone was enjoying themselves. Oasis felt like the party that everyone had been
were out, and it was always hot and sunny. having for a few weeks was over. That was
Maybe I’m looking back with rose-tinted my biggest disappointment.”





With Wembley still burbling to itself, the an era before stats were commonplace, but
action zoomed upfield. A frustrated Moller retrospective abacus-twiddlers declare that
had suffered his own Gazza-in-Turin moment England had 55.5 per cent possession, and
on 80 minutes by picking up his second yellow that 29.8 per cent of the play was in Germany’s
card of the tournament, which would put him third, compared to 21.1 per cent in England’s.
out of a potential final, but he shrugged that That was always likely, given Vogts’ tactics:
off to surge forward and unleash a swerving half-imposed, half-chosen. But winners find
dipper for Seaman to tip over. Moller’s corner a way to win – or at least take it to penalties.
was nodded home by Kuntz – but Germany’s
celebrations were cut short by a harsh decision England weren’t historically bad at penalties.
to penalise Kuntz for a tug on Adams. Gasping True, they had lost their only competitive
in the gantry, Barry Davies reached for his shootout that night in Turin, which is why the
doctor’s coat: “Goodness me, the country’s quarter-final win over Spain was cathartic for
pulse rate must be beyond natural science.” the nation, not just Stuart Pearce. But this was
And then came the second-saddest moment before the spot-kick heartaches that tumbled
of Gascoigne’s England career. Sheringham down the decades: 2012, 2006, 2004, 1998
lofted the ball into the box, Shearer volleyed and – spoiler alert – 1996.
across goal and Gazza was ready to slide in... However, if England weren’t yet overawed by
but for a miscalculation. “If you watch him,” their own shortcomings, they were aware of
said Sheringham, “there’s a slight pause, and Germany’s excellence. Having fluffed their first
it’s his brain working too quickly. The keeper’s shootout in the Euro 76 Final, the Germans
dived out; Gazza thinks he’ll parry it and tries to had profited in three successive World Cups.
read that. If he takes the gamble, it’s a goal.” “We didn’t want it to go to penalties, because
Gascoigne agreed: “If I was Alan Shearer, we knew the history,” says Ince. “Then again,
Introduced to reward attacking intent in Above “Gareth, we’ll I’d have scored, because his instinct was to go we’d won the shootout against Spain, and we
extra time, the Golden Goal rule generally look back on this one straight towards the ball. I thought the keeper had Teddy, Shearer, Pearcey – enough capable
had the opposite effect, as teams eschewed day and laugh. Come was going to get a touch, and I didn’t want to players – so I wasn’t particularly concerned.”
risk. Not here. England came out roaring. on, let’s grab a pizza” look stupid. I’ve watched many games I played As Sheringham tells FFT, “We had some very
Drifting to the right, Platt sprung the offside Left It was just yet in, but never that one. It’s too painful.” good penalty-takers in the team. We were
trap for McManaman, who must have been another what-if “Every time I watch it, I think he’s going to optimistic, especially with the first five.”
amazed to see Anderton unaccountably moment for Gazza get there,” says Ince. For his part, Venables That confidence was not shared in the
unmarked nine yards out, with enough time revealed some two decades after the match stadium. Even Des Lynam looked very slightly
to hold out his arms in the universal stance that, “Most nights I have nightmares about it.” worried, saying, “Well, this is almost too much
of “I’M IN ACRES HERE”. As McManaman Back in the moment, and without the to ask of you. I wouldn’t mind if you ducked
told FFT, “I got to the line, pulled it back for melancholia of hindsight, Barry Davies was behind the sofa while this was going on.”
Darren and waited for the net to bulge.” saying, “This is unbelievable stuff.” Extra time Once again, Shearer took the lead role. The
But it did not. Where a striker would have had featured more excitement in its opening 25-year-old placed the ball expertly into the
held the space, Anderton continued his run. 10 minutes than many games manage in 90 top-right corner to set the tone for a shootout
He had to reach behind him for the ball, while – and there was still time for Gascoigne and of almost universal technical excellence.
Kopke dived at his feet. Still, the Spurs man Anderton to go close before the change of Thomas Hassler found the bottom-left
did force a shot goalwards... where it bounced ends. Ziege missed after the restart but then corner. Platt followed Shearer to the top-right.
back from a post into Kopke’s grateful grasp. Germany retreated, especially after Helmer Thomas Strunz, a late substitute, went top-left.
“I don’t think about it now because it was hobbled off, forcing midfielder Dieter Eilts to At 2-2, up stepped Pearce: he went hard left
an instinctive thing,” reflected Anderton. “It spend 10 minutes as a centre-half. Venables and replaced his Spanish roar with a grin and
wasn’t like a one-on-one with the keeper and had no need for any substitutions, enforced or thumbs-up. Stefan Reuter sent his top-right
hitting it one way or the other. I remember, as otherwise, across two energy-sapping hours. effort just past Seaman’s gloves; Gascoigne
I picked myself up off the ground, seeing the England had taken on one of the best teams found the same corner; so did Christian Ziege.
ball bouncing back into the keeper’s hands.” around and more than matched them. It was And so, effectively, to sudden death.


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no, ‘Haven’t we got another chance? Who
have we got to play on Saturday?’ It was,
‘No, you’re out of the tournament. That’s it.’”
“We knew that we would be playing the
Czech Republic in the final and we knew
that we had too much for them,” adds Ince.
“That’s probably the worst thing when you
get knocked out of these tournaments. We
came away disappointed that we didn’t get
to where we should have got to, because
we should have won it.”
Others in the England camp have tried to
take it in their stride. “The only regret is that
Terry left,” said McManaman. “We didn’t build
on it.” Despite the razzmatazz of the Premier
League and promise of a Golden Generation,
it would be 22 long years before England
reached a semi-final again – led by a man
who knew more than a little about pain.

The effects of England’s agonising defeat
were wider and deeper, as Euro 96 marked
a beginning and an end.
In the dying years of television’s near-total
England’s fifth penalty, the shootout’s ninth, dominance of the media, an astonishing total
came down to Sheringham, who’d been taken of 26.2 million Brits watched this semi-final
off before the shootout against Spain. “It must on the box. A sizeable majority of those chose
have been the most nervous I’d ever been on the BBC, and were rewarded with Des Lynam
a football pitch,” he tells FFT. “You know that if putting the game in historical perspective:
you miss, you’re going to be remembered for “You’d better remember where you were
it.” However, he had his own Jedi mind-trick: watching this tonight, because in 30 years’
“I put the ball down, looked up and thought, time, somebody will probably ask you.”
‘The keeper’s so small and that space up in It may also have been the moment English
the top corner is massive. There’s no way I can football accepted a new role and station.
miss’.” And he didn’t. But neither did Kuntz. After decades of aloof arrogance artificially
England needed new heroes to step forward. extended by a World Cup triumph on home
“The manager asks, ‘Who fancies it?’” soil, England had reached the semi-finals and
Shearer recalled of the pre-shootout wait. lost by the proxy of penalties twice in the
“Some guys put their heads down as if to say, space of four tournaments – and this new
‘Don’t look at me’. I’m not going to tell you type of heroic defeat was weirdly OK. It gave
who they were. But Gareth put his hand up.” he leathered his shot above Seaman and Top to bottom Tears the country just enough room for tearful
Ince did, too. “I looked at Southy and he into the roof of the net, before sprinting away for heroes dressed in what-ifs rather than aggressive why-nots.
said, ‘I’ll go six and you go seven’. We were and peacocking, his hands on his hips. While grey; it was never in From here on, no matter how one-eyed the
confident in the five that were taking them. Moller disappeared under a delirious deluge, doubt, was it?; read narrative about cheating Simeones, winking
Then they all scored and you started thinking, a tracksuited, typically tactful Klinsmann chose the room, Andreas Ronaldos, lucky Ronaldinhos, wily Pirlos and
‘S**t, this is going to seven and eight.’” instead to console his old mate, Sheringham. the enemies within, from Phil Neville and
Ince wouldn’t have to make the long walk, Venables quickly sprinted to catch up with David Beckham to the entire Euro 2016
however – at least, not until the World Cup Southgate; to hold the young man’s head squad, there was a wider acknowledgement
two years later. As agreed, Southgate went up high and tell him that he had done his from fans that England had no divine right to
sixth, and he chose the same spot as Pearce country proud. Hammering the point home, success – maybe a semi-final if they fulfilled
had in Turin: low, to the goalkeeper’s right, Southgate was led to a loudly-applauded their worse if they didn’t.
ypp
but too central, with neither the power nor lap of honour by his skippper, Tony Adams, Perhaps it was also due to the increasingly
the placement to succeed. As Southgate who had his own demons to face. After cosmopolitan Premie r League demolishing
turned to trudge back to halfway, the roars white-knuckling his way y teetotally through islanders’ insularity. I t’s difficult to assume
of German fans were quickly drowned out by the tournament, Adams s promptly went on inherent superiority if f your star player is
thunderous applause from around Wembley. a seven-week bender be efore acknowledging a Cantona, Zola, Henr ry or Torres – perhaps
anager is a Wenger,
Ince, who would endure his own 12-yard his alcoholism and ente ering rehab. More even less so if the ma
heartache in 1998, faced an inquisition from than 23 years later, he is still sober. Mourinho, Benitez or Guardiola.
those who asked why a defender had taken “When Gareth missed d, it felt a bit That multicultu ralism wouldn’t come
ere was violence as the
the sixth penalty. “They just didn’t know the like death must do,” said Venables. easy. The
y-ended summer of love
situation,” growls Ince. “I could have gone “It was the lowest point t of my suddenly
sixth and missed – I could have gone f**king career. That was my cha ance soon tu
urned nasty. Idiots took
seventh and missed. Penalties are a lottery, to win a trophy for my their op
pportunity to live down
as long as you don’t miss the target. If you country in front of to their r reputation. However,
ganism was a minority
choose one way and the keeper makes the our supporters.” hoolig
same decision... It bugged me that we should “It’s like, ‘Right, that’s it, purs suit now shunned by
ootballing class trying
have won. It shouldn’t have got to penalties.” it’s finished – you’ve got t a fo
move forward into
Up stepped Moller. Eschewing the corners to go home’,” reflects to m
so expertly found by his colleagues and rivals, Sheringham. “There was a b righter future.


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JUNE 30 a director’s assist. “I was standing behind
Bierhoff and I told him what to do,” he tells
FINAL FFT with a grin. “Normally he used his right
foot; I told him to turn the other way because
GERMANY 2-1 CZECH REPUBLIC there was space. Then it was just a lucky goal.”
Not half. Falling backwards, Bierhoff made
enough contact with his swinger to hit a rising
“Germany against England was the real FFT’S shot, which flicked off the calves of Michal
final of Euro 96.” So said Franz Beckenbauer Hornak with just enough diversion to bounce
in a piece published on the morning of the TEAM OF THE off Petr Kouba’s gloves and trickle inside the
final – hardly motivational, but the Germans TOURNAMENT post. With Stefan Kuntz clearly offside if not
did have historical wrongs to right, 30 years a personal affront, gloriously Beckenbauering particularly interfering, the linesman flagged...
after losing a Wembley final, 20 years after around the place en route to the Player of the but referee Pierluigi Pairetto overruled him.
losing a Euros final to Czechoslovakia, and Tournament award, and later the Ballon d’Or GK For a Golden Goal, it hardly shone, though
four years after Berti Vogts’ side had been for 1996. Meanwhile, Vogts desperately threw David Seaman the Germans cared not a jot. “It was really
shocked by Denmark in the 1992 showpiece. the dice – and heeded his wife’s advice. SW strange,” recalls Bode. “We were standing on
Vogts was down to the bare bones. Without Before the tournament, Frau Monika had Matthias Sammer the line, scared that something was going
Jurgen Kohler, Mario Basler, Steffen Freund, urged Berti to “take Oliver Bierhoff... he will CB wrong – an offside or something. During those
Fredi Bobic (all injured), Stefan Reuter and repay you”. Not every German was convinced Laurent Blanc seconds, you couldn’t really believe that you’d
Andreas Moller (suspended), he was allowed by the ‘rich kid’ (Bierhoff’s father, Rolf, was CB won.” But they had, and the Queen, seeing her
to fly in Jens Todt as a 23rd squad member. a goalkeeper-turned-CEO of a large energy Marcel Desailly first match since the 1966 final (glory-hunter),
The Czech Republic turned down this luxury: provider) who had considered quitting football RM handed Klinsmann the Henri Delaunay Trophy.
they had three players returning from bans at the age of 21, having by his own admission Karel Poborsky There ended Euro 96, although its half-life
and one, Vladimir Smicer, from his midweek been “jeered out of the Bundesliga” in 1990. CM goes on. The Three Lions got their semi on
wedding ceremony at Prague’s Old Town Hall. History writes its own narratives, however, Didier Deschamps via two and a half decent performances,
Having defied pre-tournament odds of 80-1 and four minutes after replacing Mehmet CM to make their Euro 96 more a clip-reel of
and eliminated Portugal, Italy and France, Scholl, the Udinese striker was nodding home Paul Gascoigne memories than consistent marvellousness.
Dusan Uhrin’s team remained nerveless and Christian Ziege’s free-kick. LM Yet still it fascinates across generations.
went ahead after a disappointing first hour. Five minutes into extra time, he made wider Brian Laudrup As Terry Venables, who tried to drag England
Karel Poborsky darted onto a long ball from history with senior football’s first Golden Goal. CF out of the dark ages of insular parochialism,
forward Pavel Kuka and fell just far enough Bierhoff had nodded Thomas Helmer’s long Jurgen Klinsmann put it: “Football’s been underrated for what it
over Matthias Sammer’s challenge to win ball in the general direction of a half-fit Jurgen CF can do if we get it right. We’ve witnessed, even
a penalty, duly converted by Patrik Berger. Klinsmann, and received the return with his Alan Shearer for a brief moment, how we can be in unity and
Incensed by the incorrect decision, Sammer back to goal near the penalty spot. At this CF what a wonderful feeling it is.” Here’s hoping
took his Dortmund team-mate’s opener as point, fellow substitute Marco Bode claims Davor Suker for more of the same, as soon as possible.

FANTASY

FOOTBALL











































































































In January 1994, David Baddiel and Frank Skinner launched a brand new TV show
which quickly outgrew its name and later spawned English football’s greatest anthem.

FFT discovers the bonkers inside stories of Fantasy Football – which started with an argument





Words Chris Flanagan





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epublic of Ireland 0-0 Egypt. On June 17, 1990,
two men sat in front of a television before a comedy
night in south-west London. They’d never met
before, and they were watching a match that’s since
been described as the worst in World Cup history.
Had it not been so monumentally dire, one of
football’s most loved TV shows may never have
happened. Instead, David Baddiel and Frank Skinner
became two of the 1990s’ biggest stars. By the time
Euro 96 began, they were chart-topping national heroes. All
thanks to Fantasy Football League – and Ireland vs Egypt.
“I’d seen Frank previously at the Comedy Store,” Baddiel
explains to FourFourTwo today. “He was a new comic and
I remember thinking, ‘This bloke’s really good’. But we hadn’t
spoken, until we were both at Jongleurs in Battersea.
“The World Cup was on in the dressing room, and we got
into an argument about the Irish team. I said they were dull;
Frank said they shouldn’t be playing like Brazil. We had a row,
and I remember thinking, ‘I disagree with that bloke but he
knows a lot about football – he seems all right’. Apparently
he thought the same thing. He also thought, ‘I’ve never met
a posh bloke who knows about football’. I’m not posh, so
that shows how working-class Frank is!”

In January 1994, Baddiel and Skinner’s Fantasy Football
League landed on BBC Two, to little fanfare, at 11.15pm on
a Friday night. The duo had become friends, then flatmates,
before sharing a sofa together in front of the TV cameras.
“Today it’s not unusual to have a set like someone’s front
room, but it was revolutionary then,” says show producer
Andy Jacobs – now part of Hawksbee & Jacobs on talkSPORT,
having worked alongside Paul Hawksbee on Fantasy Football.
“We said, ‘Let’s build a set that’s like our house’,” Baddiel
explains. “Frank had got chucked out of his flat in London by
his girlfriend and he couldn’t go back to Birmingham because
he’d bought a house with his wife, who he was divorced from.
He was basically homeless, so I offered him a room in my flat.
“Over the course of the entire time I lived with him, I never
put Frank’s rent up. He became a TV star, started doing huge
tours, earned loads of money, and it was always £40 a week!”
Before Fantasy Football League came along, Baddiel had
starred in a popular sketch show called The Mary Whitehouse
Experience and sold out Wembley Arena with his writing
partner, Rob Newman. He had also performed skits as part of
early-’90s football programme Standing Room Only.
Meanwhile, the fantasy football concept had been launched
in England in 1991 by Andrew Weinstein, who had seen its
popularity in American sports. Both Baddiel and Skinner had
appeared on a short-lived BBC Radio 5 Live show, picking their
own fantasy teams. Then Baddiel got a call from Weinstein.
“He asked, ‘Do you think there’s a TV show in the game?’”
Baddiel explains. “I said, ‘I’m not sure... it’d have to be more
than that’. I talked to Frank. We said, ‘Maybe the game could
be the basis of a comedy show about football’. We did a pilot
and Michael Jackson – the head of BBC Two, not the pop star
– really went for it. He didn’t give us six shows; he gave us 22.”


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Each show would feature celebrity guests, competing against each
other in a fantasy league. Among those in the first series were Bob
Mortimer, Karren Brady, Eddie Large and Roy Hattersley. “We got
people together for an auction where they picked their teams – I think
it was some sort of cocktail party,” Jacobs says.
“I remember I won the league one season, which I was pleased
about!” says a beaming Baddiel. “But the league was just a structure
for the show, on which to hang jokes about football.”
Later, Fantasy Football League’s fantasy football league was phased
out entirely. By then, it was clear people were tuning in for the jokes.
The butt of many of them was Statto, played by Angus Loughran,
a TV commentator and horse racing betting expert who had once
invaded the pitch at a Test match in his teenage years, poking fun at
the boring batting of England’s Chris Tavare by offering him a stool.
“Andrew Weinstein played Statto in the pilot, but the BBC felt he
wasn’t quite right – they wanted a boffin,” Jacobs reveals. “Then I was
on the gantry for Spurs against Leeds and my eye was taken by this
very strange guy, making funny head movements. We chatted and
I thought, ‘He’d be good for the role’, so I got him in for an audition.”
Janet Street-Porter, BBC head of independent commissioning and
a key supporter of the show, wasn’t initially convinced by Loughran.
“Janet said, ‘Statto’s terrible; he needs f**king acting lessons!’” Jacobs
remembers. “I said, ‘No, that’s the point: he’s meant to be terrible!’”
Before he accepted the role, Loughran wanted to make sure it
wouldn’t jeopardise his day job. “I was commentating for Eurosport
at the time,” he tells FFT. “I had a meeting with Simon Reed there.
I told him that I had this opportunity, but I wouldn’t take it if
it compromised what we were doing at Eurosport. He said, ‘You’ve got
to take it – I’ll support you all the way’. I asked, ‘Will I still be able to
do the Eurogoals programme?’ He said, ‘Absolutely’.
“I knew Fantasy Football wasn’t going to be normal, but it was
great fun. If you took that role, you were all in – they were comedians
and no matter how much they took the piss out of you, it was
a professional job, a deadpan role. I was a good foil for them.
We got on well.
“Sometimes, I did two jobs on the same day: Royal Ascot for the
BBC during the day, in top hat and tails, then I was in pyjamas and “TO MAKE FUN OF SOMETHING,
dressing gown for Fantasy Football at night. Trying to do those two
on the same day, your head was screwed up a bit.” YOU HAVE TO REALLY LOVE IT”
With Baddiel and Skinner, Loughran’s role was often bizarre.
“Once, they wanted David Attenborough to pelt onion bhajis at
me,” he recalls. “The bravest thing I did was going on stilts, live –
I dressed up as a woman but couldn’t keep my balance. I remember “We did the George Best one at a health farm,” Baddiel remembers.
thinking, ‘I’m going to fall on the guests, or on Frank and David’. “When we got there, George said, ‘I’m not doing it’. Denis Law was
Then there was the time I got stuck in a lion suit, trying to get this there, saying, ‘Yeah, George, you don’t want to do this’. We nearly
lion head off. I had to sing a duet with Basil Brush, too.” didn’t get it, then I think George put all of that into his punch!
Jacobs picks up the story. “When we had Basil Brush on, the guy “We flew by the seat of our pants a lot. We did one with Mario
who did it insisted there had to be an illusion that Basil was real. Kempes. He’d come all the way from Argentina and the premise of it
These people are nuts. The audience couldn’t know it was a glove was the 6-0 defeat of Peru at the 1978 World Cup. They needed six
puppet, so he insisted on being in place before they arrived. He had goals to get through, and the next day the Argentine government
to fit under the counter where Statto stood. He must have been in gave a huge supply of grain to Peru, so it was clearly a fix!
his late sixties, and the recording was so long that he was “Kempes didn’t speak any English, but we had a translator. When
completely stuck in one position by the time the audience had he realised what the script was, he just said, ‘I’m not doing it’. We
gone. It took him about two hours to straighten his legs.” thought, ‘What are we going to do?’ We just kept asking, and
Later, singing duties were taken by former West Bromwich Albion eventually he did it. By the end he was dressed as Super Mario,
striker Jeff Astle, Skinner’s musically-challenged boyhood hero, who scoring obviously fixed goals!”
often arrived in costume. After Eric Cantona’s famous seagulls Jacobs remembers that day with a smile. “I had to say to Kempes,
speech, Astle dressed as a trawler, while Baddiel and Skinner ‘Look, everybody’s done this: Jairzinho, Carlos Alberto, Eusebio...’,”
danced behind him with pictures of Steven Seagal. he tells FFT. “I said, ‘All of these great players have done the most
Things were no less bizarre in Phoenix From The Flames, ridiculous things for us. It would be such a shame if you let down this
a segment in each episode that involved a star recreating one of great tradition.’ I came up with such bollocks. But he did it!”
their most famous moments in football, often after being asked to “Some of my favourites weren’t the funniest ones,” Baddiel adds.
do a spot of acting or recite lines from a script full of in-jokes. “Some were just: ‘F**king hell, I can’t believe I’m with this person’.
One strange sketch featured Eusebio, in which the legend played I was standing at Hendon’s ground, thinking: ‘I can’t believe I am
a trombone, talked about former West Brom star Bobby Hope doing this with Eusebio’.
opening a sandwich bar, then dribbled past a team of six-year-olds. “We did Roger Milla as well, which also included Peter Purves. Milla’s
Patrick Battiston was run over by a racing car. Yordan Letchkov World Cup goals were in 1990, so we based it on a National Power
danced with a Womble. George Best had to punch Baddiel in the advert that Peter did all through that year. It ended with Roger Milla
face. Convincing players to go along with it all wasn’t always easy. doing the National Power advert, dressed as Peter Purves.”


FourFourTwo February 2020 67

FANTASY

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There were also some touching moments behind the scenes. camp to invite the players to appear in the music video. Only Teddy
“One really beautiful one I remember,” says Baddiel, “was Sheringham, Stuart Pearce, Robbie Fowler and Steve Stone agreed.
Charlie George’s 1971 double-winning goal. He turned up, Each of the quartet was asked to recreate a famous England
a quiet, shy bloke, and said: ‘I can’t actually kick the ball, moment, à la Phoenix From The Flames. Sheringham emulated
because I’ve got arthritis’. Bobby Charlton’s long-range thunderbolt against Mexico from 1966 –
“But before we shot Phoenix From The Flames, we would a daunting task even for him. “I thought: ‘Wow, Jesus, I’ve got to do
always kick the ball about, because the cameras took a while to that? OK…’” Sheringham tells FFT. “But I did it on the first take, believe
set up. I ended up kicking a ball about with Eusebio, Gordon it or not! I said, ‘Have you got it, cameraman?’ They said, ‘Yeah, we’ve
Banks – a lot of players. This time, Charlie was standing out of got it, no problem!’ It was good fun.”
the way, and me and Frank were kicking a ball about. We aren’t Three Lions swiftly went to No.1. It was knocked off top spot by
that good, so the ball ended up going towards Charlie. With his The Fugees’ cover of Killing Me Softly seven days later and never
toe he flicked it up in the air and just trapped it. Then he said, actually topped the charts during Euro 96 itself, but returned to No.1
‘Oh, I suppose you never lose it’. It was just really beautiful.” in early July after becoming the anthem of the tournament.
“Me and Frank were as surprised as anyone when the DJ put it on at
After three successful series, Fantasy Football had become the end of England vs Scotland and the whole crowd joined in,” says
hugely popular when Euro 96 arrived in England. Baddiel and Baddiel. “We had no idea everybody knew the song. It was amazing.”
Skinner were approached by Ian Broudie of The Lightning Seeds, A rejigged version also went to No.1 in 1998. Then, 20 years later,
enquiring whether they’d be interested in joining forces to make Three Lions reached top spot for a fourth time as fans adopted it once
an England song for the tournament. more during England’s run to the 2018 World Cup semi-finals. “The
Baddiel recalls, “With Three Lions, we sat down and said, ‘What continuation of it – we didn’t expect that, either,” Baddiel admits. “It’s
is the real experience of an England football fan? That we lose all the only song that’s got to No.1 four times. It also had the longest fall
of the time!’ It’s quite a melancholy and vulnerable song, but it’s anyone’s ever had from No.1: after we lost to Croatia, it went to No.97!
hope against despair. That seemed to really speak to people.” “I’m incredibly proud of Three Lions. I think it created a kind of
It didn’t immediately speak to the England players themselves, English patriotism that wasn’t aggressive or nationalistic.”
however. Baddiel, Skinner and Broudie visited the Three Lions’ The show switched to ITV for the 1998 World Cup, becoming a live
broadcast. That led to some infamous incidents with studio guests –
“WHEN MARIO KEMPES READ THE SCRIPT, most notably the Hollywood actress Brigitte Nielsen, who ranted
nonsensically during an utterly madcap appearance.
“The ITV show had some brilliant things in it, but it did become
HE JUST SAID, ‘I’M NOT DOING IT’. BY THE much more like event television,” Baddiel says. “It had elements of
The Word about it, because it was live and always off the back of
END, HE WAS DRESSED AS SUPER MARIO” a big game, so the mood in the studio was often crackling and crazy.
“Then we had Brigitte Nielsen, who I don’t think knew much about
the show or about football – she’d just taken the gig. I didn’t know


68 February 2020 FourFourTwo

FANTASY

FOOTBALL






much about her, either, apart from the fact that she’d been
Sylvester Stallone’s wife. She was an amazing guest, but she did
choose to attack me with a Danish pastry at one point. There was
an element of, ‘What’s happening to us? Our little football show
seems to have gone a bit mad’.”
Her behaviour took Jacobs by surprise. “She was fine beforehand
– I don’t know what happened to her,” he tells FFT. “During the
commercial break I said to her, ‘You’re ruining the show. What are
you doing?’ She was so subdued in the second half of the show.
Then, afterwards, I nearly had a fight with her manager. Paul
Hawksbee had to come between us – it was ridiculous.
“John Lydon was on another show, and he was just the most
f**king unpleasant man I’ve ever met in my life. This idea that
he’s a national treasure – I think he’s an absolute c**t.
“I walked in, said, ‘Hi John’ and he said, ‘F**k off’, for no reason –
he’d never even met me before. That set the tone from the word
go. At half-time of the show, I said, ‘You can bugger off. Why don’t
you just leave now?’” By the time the programme returned from the
commercial break, Lydon had been removed from the studio – “off
to join Brigitte Nielsen,” said Baddiel, to cheers from the audience.
There had been controversy during the BBC era as well, though:
most notably, the lampooning of Nottingham Forest striker
Jason Lee, whose career never totally recovered from becoming
a figure of fun across the country. In one sketch, Baddiel blacked up
and wore a pineapple on his head, which is something he looks back
upon as a mistake. “Being made up like that was wrong – I own that
and I’m happy to apologise for it,” he says. “Making fun of Jason Lee
for not scoring, which was the point of the sketch, was not wrong.
That was what the show did: make fun of footballers. But that’s
a nuanced discussion for another time.”
Jacobs admits that a number of jokes used on Fantasy Football in
the ’90s would not be appropriate today, given the way that times
have moved on. “There are things we did then that we could never
have done now,” he says. “Comedy has changed.”
Even the general mocking of Lee’s supposedly substandard striking
skills became an uncomfortable issue. “It started off as a joke, and,
like all jokes, you hope the person will laugh along with it,” Jacobs
says. “But then we heard he wasn’t happy about it. Once that
happens, you don’t want to do it any more, because you don’t want
to upset somebody. I did say to him and his people, ‘Why don’t you
THE OTHER SONGS OF EURO 96 come on the show?’ But he didn’t want to.”




Once Euro 96 reached its final stages, Three Lions wasn’t the Fantasy Football returned for one last series during Euro 2004. Its stars
are remembered even now. Angus Loughran, who had cameo roles in
only football track in the UK top 40 – there were four of them... Bean and Blackball thanks to his Statto fame, has continued to work in
horse racing and he’s often recognised. “I call it a pissed recognition
factor,” the 53-year-old says. “In the mornings, no one says anything
While Baddiel and Skinner’s song “They didn’t want to back us,” to me, but after they’ve all had a drink, it happens regularly. I get
with The Lightning Seeds had the Kermit tells FFT. “They said they people thinking I’m Stavros, or Angus Deayton. One bloke said, ‘You
FA’s backing, the official song of would, then they wouldn’t, so were that bloke on the Fantasy Channel’. I said, ‘In your dreams!’”
Euro 96 was Simply Red’s We’re In we just recorded the track and Could the show return? “I don’t know, is the honest truth,” Baddiel
This Together. Despite Mick put it out ourselves. Our attitude tells FFT. “It was talked about before one World Cup, and we got quite
Hucknall (right) performing it on was, ‘F**k ’em and anyone that close to it. I’m not totally against it, but I think both myself and Frank
the Wembley pitch at both the looks like ’em’.” – possibly Frank a bit more than me – are very keen on not tarnishing
opening and closing ceremonies, it One memorable performance the memory of a show that lots of people love. Frank is 62 and I’m 55,
reached only No.11 in the charts. was a high-octane Top of the Pops so going back to do it again might feel like trading on past glories.
Meanwhile, Collapsed Lung’s appearance. “It was a mad day,” “I love that people still love Fantasy Football. I think the show was
Eat My Goal was used in Coca-Cola’s Kermit says. “England were playing Holland genuine about football. Some of the ways we talked about footballers
tournament adverts and peaked at 31. on the night we recorded it. We were all there were quite cruel – we did a Phoenix with Peter Beardsley and he says,
The second-most successful song was – us lot, Keith, Joe and, for some reason, ‘I’m not going to do this Quasimodo stuff’, then it cuts to me and
England’s Irie by Black Grape, featuring Michael Barrymore. We all got so bladdered Frank, holding a hump and a bell – but it reflected how fans talk about
Happy Mondays singer Shaun Ryder, rapper in the BBC bar that we got turfed out. footballers. They love them, but they want to take the piss out of them.
Kermit, Joe Strummer from The Clash “When Euro 96 came around, the whole of “Julian Barratt from The Mighty Boosh said that to make fun of
and – inevitably – Keith Allen. The song football was becoming slicker. Now people something, you have to love it. That was very true of us and football.”
reached No.6 and had originally been in who have supported clubs all their lives The success of Baddiel, Skinner and Fantasy Football League was
contention for FA backing, along with Three can’t afford to go to games. I’ve never fallen borne out of that common love for the game. Sometimes, the best
Lions. In the end, English football’s governing out of love with the game – it’s all the way to prove it is by letting George Best punch you in the face.
body were possibly put off by lyrics such as, bollocks around it. Football is a game for the
“My wife’s lactating and I’m spectating”. people, and that’s what we were saying.” Baddiel’s UK tour, ‘Trolls: Not The Dolls’, runs from January 24 to May 3


FourFourTwo February 2020 69

BETWEEn

THE LInES




























































































Interview Karel Haring




“SOMEOnE In InDOnESIA OPEnED MY PASSPORT AnD ASKED:






‘ARE YOU THE POBORSKY‘ARE YOU THE POBORSKY WHO SCORED THAT GOAL?’”


















70 February 2020 FourFourTwo

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THE LInES































































































Karel Poborsky became world famous following his
revolutionary chip for the Czech Republic at Euro 96.

Almost exactly 20 years later, he was a day away
from death. He tells FourFourTwo his amazing story


‘ARE YOU THE POBORSKY WHO SCORED THAT GOAL?’”


















FourFourTwo February 2020 71

en I got to Preston with the rest of

e Czech Republic squad for Euro 96,

e had a feeling that our opponents

ren’t taking us seriously. We were


ing into the tournament as one of

biggest underdogs ever, in a group

ngside Germany, Italy and Russia.

were just happy to be there – some


y team-mates didn’t even unpack

suitcases. In our opening match

nst Germany, we lost 2-0 and I was

off at half-time. I really struggled.


But Euro 96 was a life-changing tournament

for me. After that incredible summer, nothing

was the same as it had been before.



I grew up in the communist regime of Czechoslovakia, and made my
senior debut for Ceske Budejovice at 17 – I had to be at the factory at
7am the next morning, because I was studying to be a car mechanic.
The state supported sport so we had no reason to complain, although
footballers weren’t allowed to go overseas before they were 30.
After the fall of communism in 1989, we could finally travel and see
a different world – but it wasn’t my main target to move abroad. First
I signed for Viktoria Zizkov in 1994, and scored 10 goals there before
joining Slavia Prague the following summer.
The year of 1996 was crucial for my career, and not only because of
the Euros. Before the tournament, we’d experienced an extraordinary
season at Slavia, winning the league after a 49-year wait. It meant the
world to all the supporters. We reached the UEFA Cup semi-finals too,
only losing to Zinedine Zidane’s Bordeaux.
I made my international debut in early 1994, in the Czech Republic’s
first match following the split of Czechoslovakia. There was euphoria
ahead of that game in Turkey – we travelled by coach from the airport
with journalists on board. Some of them had to stand because it was
so crowded – it was quite funny when you compare it to these days.
We won 4-1 and I got two assists.
But it didn’t all go smoothly when qualifying for Euro 96 started. We
lost to a last-minute goal in Luxembourg in our sixth game, which was
a truly embarrassing defeat. We received a lot of criticism, and rightly
so. That Czech team regularly dropped points against underdogs, but
did much better against the favourites. The Netherlands were a good
example: we beat them 3-1 at home and drew 0-0 in Rotterdam, and
finished ahead of them to win our qualifying group.
Euro 96 didn’t begin well for us. We played a 4-4-2 formation in our
opening match against Germany, with me next to Pavel Kuka upfront.
I was poor at heading, though, so when we sent long balls forward, it
was impossible for me to win them against the German centre-backs.
Our manager Dusan Uhrin replaced me at half-time – we lost 2-0 and
our game plan didn’t work at all.
There was a heated atmosphere in the dressing room afterwards –
I’d never played as a forward before, and I never played there again.








72 February 2020 FourFourTwo

BETWEEn
THE LInES

















































“I GOT MY InSTEP COMPLETELY BELOW



THE BALL, BUT DIDn’T PLAn TO LOOP IT

Patrik Berger started on the substitutes’ bench, despite playing in most SO HIGH. I FEARED IT WAS GOInG OVER”
of the qualifiers, and there was a lot of discussion about that. Actually,
there’s a famous photo of Uhrin and Patrik sitting in the garden of our
hotel in Preston, clearing the air.
We changed the system for the next match and our performances
improved, even though we still needed some luck to get through the
group stage. We faced Italy in our second game, and it was pivotal for Clockwise from bottom It was more of a tactical battle than entertaining football, but we got
us. We couldn’t afford to lose. We went 1-0 up after just five minutes Starring for Slavia in ’96; through after a penalty shootout. I was pretty nervous before taking
thanks to a Pavel Nedved goal, but Enrico Chiesa equalised. Then Italy “I’ll see you in the final”; my penalty. I didn’t consider myself a spot-kick expert by any means,
had a man sent off and Radek Bejbl put us 2-1 in front. Our goalkeeper, wheeling away after his but I scored. When Reynald Pedros missed for France, we were in the
Petr Kouba, made several important saves – we were fortunate, to be last-eight wonder goal; final – against Germany once again.
honest, although we’d played better and showed more togetherness. celebrating a lead in the We’d lost to them in our first group match, but it was different now.
Our last group game against Russia ended up being a crazy match. Wembley finale, but the We felt more confident and knew many English people wanted us to
We went 2-0 up but lost the lead and were close to going home – 3-2 Czech Republic couldn’t beat the Germans! There was such a buzz around with the Queen on
down with five minutes to go. Again, we were lucky: Vladimir Smicer’s stop Germany prevailing the pitch, and our president Vaclav Havel was there. I didn’t realise in
shot went through two players’ legs and in. Two nutmegs! that moment how special it actually was. When I see photographs of
We were through to the last eight and playing Portugal at Villa Park. the pre-game ceremony, it still makes me emotional. For many years,
One look through their squad list told you how good a team they had. the only feeling I’d carried was the bitterness of our eventual defeat.
Luis Figo, Rui Costa, Fernando Couto, Vitor Baia – it was one of the best We were convinced we could beat them this time, and took the lead
teams in Portuguese history. We had to defend for most of that game after an hour. I was quicker than Matthias Sammer, and he fouled me
and Kouba kept us alive. Our plan was simple – rely on counter-attacks for a penalty. To be honest, the foul was just outside the box, but I fell
– but we only had a few. We were playing anti-football. into the area. I think long-jumpers would have liked my fall – I wanted
Then, eight minutes after half-time, the ball came to me on a rare to be fouled in the penalty area!
counter-attack. I was surrounded by defenders, but I saw Baia too far When Berger smashed home the penalty, we believed we could win.
from his goal. There wasn’t room for a direct shot, but an idea came to But the pressure from Germany became more and more intense, and
my mind automatically. I’d always liked finding new ways of finishing. it was no surprise when Oliver Bierhoff headed in the equaliser. I got
I wasn’t physically powerful, so I tried to find solutions in front of goal substituted after 88 minutes so had to watch extra time on the bench,
using my technical skills. I’d done something similar for Viktoria Zizkov, but it didn’t last long as Bierhoff scored the Golden Goal.
so when I saw Baia out of his goal, I got my instep completely below Some people think Kouba made a mistake for Bierhoff’s winner, but
the ball – it was more like ‘throwing’ it than kicking it. I don’t agree because the ball was deflected. He would have saved it
It wasn’t my intention to loop the ball quite so high, but it bounced 99 times out of 100 – just not that time. Still, without him we wouldn’t
a bit on the grass. I feared it was going over – it was such a high lob – have reached the final. He had an outstanding tournament, but most
but luckily it went in. In that moment, my first thought wasn’t about fans only remember the end.
the beauty of the goal – I just felt happy that we were winning. Losing was so hard to take. It seemed like the worst thing that could
At the final whistle, there was pure jubilation in the squad. We were happen to you. We returned to Prague and received a special welcome
still in the tournament, when other countries with stronger teams had from fans in a crowded Old Town Square, but it was a long time before
already gone out, and France were our opponents in the semi-finals. the scars on my soul were healed.




FourFourTwo February 2020 73

BETWEEn
THE LInES




I decided to see a doctor on the Monday, the day after the final. If I’d
gone on the Tuesday, it might have been too late. The diagnosis was
serious: I had Lyme disease and a brain infection, probably caused by
a tick hidden in my beard. They put me into a coma. When I woke up
in the hospital, they asked what my name was and if I could recite the
“I WEnT TO SEE A DOCTOR THE MOnDAY
five times table. They were worried that I wouldn’t be able to articulate
properly again, because some people have never returned to a normal
AFTER THE EURO 2016 FInAL. IF I’D GOnE
life after getting that illness.
I’m lucky that I don’t suffer from any big complications. Sometimes
I have a few problems with my memory, but nothing more than that.
On TUESDAY, I MAY HAVE BEEn TOO LATE”
It was tough, though. I spent almost a month quarantined in hospital
on powerful antibiotics, directly to the veins. I couldn’t eat – food fell
out of my mouth because the muscles were still too weak. After that,
I spent two more months in rehabilitation. After that kind of situation,
you realise life is transient. I was used to overcoming pain as a player.
At club level, though, a lot of teams wanted to sign me – Bordeaux My motto was, ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. Now I try
in France, some teams in Spain, five or six clubs in Italy and several in to enjoy every day with my family and friends. I’m happy, working as
England. But when Manchester United’s offer landed on the table, it the academy director for the Czech Football Association.
was an obvious choice to make. I played for the Manchester United legends team recently, and Alex
I’d met Alex Ferguson during the tournament. He came to our hotel Ferguson gave a half-hour speech. It was emotional. He spoke openly
in London a few days before the final and asked if I’d be interested in and sincerely about his brain haemorrhage. Then we had a chat and
joining United. I said yes, so negotiations began. I was focused on the he asked how I was. Suddenly, he almost started to apologise for the
final against Germany, but I was so honoured that someone like him fact that my United career lasted only a short time. But there was no
went to London just to meet me for two or three minutes – that’s all reason to say sorry. I have no regrets.
it took. He wished me good luck for the final, too. As for my goal at Euro 96, Antonin Panenka once said he was proud
Moving from Slavia to United in the mid-90s, it was like two different of his famous penalty to win Euro 76 for Czechoslovakia, but also a bit
worlds. It was a massive step in my career, and in my life. United had angry because it overshadowed all of his other goals. I can understand
a great squad, but I didn’t speak English and the language barrier was how he feels. I’m still asked about my goal in every interview.
the biggest issue. Growing up in Czechoslovakia under the communist But I remember going to Indonesia, and when the passport control
regime, English wasn’t taught in grammar schools – we only learned officer opened my book, he asked: ‘Are you the Poborsky who scored
Russian. It was easier for players who arrived from other countries and that goal?’ I’m very proud that it made me famous around the world.
could speak English. That was the case for Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, who
joined United that same summer. When you go somewhere new, the
first two or three months are so important to make a good impression.
It’s not ideal when you can’t communicate properly.
Ole was friendly, and many of the players were helpful. Eric Cantona Right and below
was one of them – a cool guy, and very calm in the dressing room. He Poborsky didn’t get
always told me that if I needed something, he’d help me. Sometimes the game time he
the better the player, the more normal the person – and what a player desired with United;
he was. A genius. but is grateful to still
In the end, I was there for just 18 months. It was almost impossible be able to turn out
for me to secure a regular place in the starting line-up ahead of David in legends matches
Beckham, at the beginning of his amazing career. But I don’t feel any
bitterness. The players accepted me and I always tried my best, even
though I only came on for the last 20 minutes of games. I didn’t have
a problem playing for the reserve team – Jordi Cruyff refused to.
When I got a chance to play for the first team, I tried to convince the
manager of my qualities. My best match was probably against Leeds
– I scored one goal, later voted goal of the month, and set up a couple.
But every match at Old Trafford was special. We won the league title
and I loved the celebrations. Newcastle gave us a guard of honour and
Pavel Srnicek, my international team-mate, congratulated me.
But I wanted to play regular football. There was massive expectation
on me when I played for the Czech Republic. People expected miracles
from me, because I was playing for one of the best clubs in the world,
but I lost my rhythm and my performances weren’t at the same level.
We didn’t qualify for the 1998 World Cup.
I sat down with Ferguson and told him that even though I was at the
best club in the world, it didn’t make me completely happy – I longed
to play regularly. He understood and tried to find me an English club
on loan – like Leeds or Sheffield Wednesday – but I signed for Benfica.
I’ll never forget my time with United, though. I still go there regularly
and play for the legends team. I always enjoy it, especially after what
happened to me in 2016 – exactly 20 years after Euro 96.
Czech TV invited me to be a pundit for the final of Euro 2016. When
I arrived, I’d already started feeling like half of my face was paralysed.
I shouldn’t have gone. The next morning, people who know me closely
were asking if I was all right. They knew something was wrong.




74 February 2020 FourFourTwo

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MOTTY
VS
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hey have been in the same room for joke around in front of the camera. Reunited about meeting these people and how they’d
less than five minutes, and already for this interview, soon they are sat down with react to me. Barry just said, “Don’t worry about
Barry Davies is threatening to punch a glass of red wine, ready to discuss memories that – television will help give you an identity.”
John Motson. Clenching his fist and from their glittering careers... He was spot on.
sending it very close to Motty’s jaw,
Davies bursts into laughter when he FFT: How long have you known each other? FFT: Some people thought that because you
realises that he’s not only taken his MOTSON: I started at Match of the Day in 1971 were both competing to commentate on
commentary colleague by surprise, and Barry was already there. I think you joined the biggest games, you weren’t the best of
T but also FourFourTwo’s photographer. in 1969, didn’t you? friends – particularly as John got more of
“Too late, you missed it!” exclaims Davies, DAVIES: I joined in 1969, yes. the major finals. Were you baffled by that?
ea s g t at s sp t seco d p ete d assau
realising that his split-second pretend assault t JM: BD: I was a very understanding fellow!
hadn’t been caught on camera. answer to that question! JM: We were placed in a competitive situation
The BBC duo were once the Lionel Messi and BD: I still remember the first time we e by other people. It suited the BBC to have two
ever had
Cristiano Ronaldo of television commentators; a conversation, because Motty was the commentators whose styles were distinctly
e new
two all-time legends sharing the stage in the boy. He asked if I had any tips and I sa id, “I’ll different. The head of sport, Jonathan Martin,
same era. Their rivalry was hyped so much by give you a tip right away – if they offer you the once told me, “Barry commentates from the
the media that you could have been forgiven contract they offered Kenneth Wolsten grandstand and you’re commentating from
nholme,
ore they
for thinking they didn’t get on at all, but from who’s turned it down, then take it befo the terraces.” Meaning that my style was a bit
the moment they walk through change their minds.” Little did I know h crash bang and Barry’s was more considered,
he was
the door together at the going to break all of Ken’s records... which I’d agree with. But it suited the
K
London Bridge Hotel, JM: Yes, I remember that first meeting – we BBC, because Match of the Day
t
atching
m
ready to meet FFT, were on a train coming back from wa was a two-game format then
A
Watney
it’s obvious that West Bromwich Albion in the old W – Barry would do one and I’d
o
couldn’t be further Cup. Barry had commentated and do the other. Then when it
d I was
from the truth. there for radio, but he knew I was joining came to the World Cup,
“We’re not television. I was very nervous about moving and the BBC were doing
r
supposed to be from radio, coming into television wh England one day and
here I’d
seen together,” have to mix with some powerful man Scotland the next, they
o
nagers;
smiles Davies, as they the Shanklys and the Revies. I was n ervous
h































































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had two front line men to cover it. It worked
very well, and we managed not to fall out!
BD: Yes, we did!
JM: Which I think was a compliment to him...
BD: Well, simply on the basis that you enjoyed
more visits to Wembley than I did, certainly
for the FA Cup. But I think the BBC also used it
for publicity – they tried to set it up. But we’ve
agreed since then that it was good for us, for
the longevity of our careers. With the greatest
of respect to all of those commentating now,
they’re not going to last as long as we did. We
were lucky. We were around at the right time.
FFT: Did the rivalry help to bring the best out
of each other?
JM: It may well have done, I wouldn’t disagree
with that. Where our careers differ slightly is
that Barry had the gift of being an all-rounder.
He didn’t just do football. One of our producers,
Fred Viner, was with us one day – you rattled
through all the sports you covered and said,
“In fact Fred, the only sport I’ve never done is
golf.” You’d worked on the Olympics, athletics,
gymnastics, you name it.
BD: I did. It’s nice of John to bring that up – the
only slight irritation I’ve had down the years is
that some people believe the only reason I did
that was because he was getting more of the
cake. But it wasn’t. Producers came to me and
said, “Would you like to do this?”

FFT: Barry, how do you view your difference
in commentary styles?
BD: I thought he summed it up well, possibly
slightly to his own detriment! [Laughs] John “PEOPLE KEPT TALKInG ABOUT BD: He’s had a few priceless moments – like
does have a different style, possibly because who was and wasn’t in the Brazil team before
he came from radio, which I didn’t really. I did the 1998 World Cup Final!
a little bit of radio when I was in the army, but MOTTY’S SHEEPSKIn COAT, BUT JM: I lost it a bit. Des Lynam kept coming back
then I was lucky that the 1966 World Cup was to me to ask who had which team-sheet, and
in England. If ITV hadn’t suddenly needed to whether Ronaldo was playing. I was gasping!
find four commentators, I wouldn’t have had I WORE OnE LOnG BEFORE HIM. BD: The best England game I commentated
the opportunity. John was still in short pants, on was when they thrashed the Netherlands
North Korea 1-0 Italy in Middlesbrough, which THEY’RE OUT OF STYLE nOW!” 4-1 at Euro 96. That’s the best England display
so they couldn’t go to him! I commentated on
I’ve seen, although it was recorded because
is one of the great World Cup stories. the game was live on ITV. As a live match, I’d
FFT: John, your big break came courtesy of pick an England defeat: the semi-final against
Hereford beating Newcastle in the FA Cup... BD: I’ve got to tell you, I didn’t know you were Germany. I can still see Paul Gascoigne just
JM: Yes, I went there for a third round replay – only on temporary attachment – I might have getting his toe to the ball, and England would
the BBC thought they’d wrap it all up in three kicked you a bit harder! [Laughs] have been in the final – which would have set
minutes at the end of the programme because up John, who was doing the game. Instead he
Newcastle would win comfortably. Anyway, we FFT: John, what’s your favourite memory of had a rubbish final with Germany against the
know what happened, Ronnie Radford and all commentating on England? Czech Republic! But the atmosphere for that
that. It was my first season and they’d given JM: England’s 5-1 victory in Germany. It came semi-final was the best I’ve ever known. I also
me a one-year attachment from my radio job, from nowhere for me. I’d never seen England liked the way they presented it at the start –
just in case things didn’t work out for me. It take a team of Germany’s stature apart quite Des Lynam handed over to me very early and
was important that I did well throughout that like they did that night. When Michael Owen I didn’t say too much, I just let the music of
season, and the match just dropped my way. got his third goal, I said, “This is getting better the crowd take over. ‘Football’s coming home’.
What would have been the last game on the and better and better!” Not long afterwards, That’s never been beaten. It’s the best song.
show suddenly became the main event. That I was at West Ham and someone tapped me JM: Barry’s just touched on one of his great
probably made them think I could be trusted on the shoulder saying, “It’s getting better and strengths – he had such a remarkable talent
with bigger matches in the future. better and better.” It was Sven-Goran Eriksson for choosing his words carefully and knowing
FFT: What would have happened if Radford – he’d watched the video! Although even after when not to talk. I found it so hard not to talk.
hadn’t scored that famous goal? we’d won 5-1, we still had that rocky match He could do that naturally, and that night you
JM: I’ve often woken up in a cold sweat and against Greece when David Beckham scored did. Wow. I did a few matches at Euro 96 and
wondered exactly that – and I’ve shared that his last-gasp free-kick. That was the only time sensed the same thing – the country grasped
conversation with Ronnie as well! I ever saw Trevor Brooking lose his cool. Not that tournament, didn’t it Barry?
BD: And bought him a few drinks because of it. only did the ground erupt, the gantry erupted. BD: It did, and probably one of the best goals
JM: Yeah, and gone down on my knees every Trevor broke a cable and I sent a microphone you commentated on helped set it up – Gazza
time I see him! flying off the desk. It was a priceless moment. against Scotland.


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The other, with a little sense of amusement, is
Francis Lee for Derby in ’74 – “Look at his face!”
BD: Face! [Exclaims in high-pitched voice]
JM: Look at his face! [Exclaims in high-pitched
voice] But it was right because Franny Lee was
screaming as he celebrated!
BD: I opened my mouth and sometimes I won,
sometimes I lost!
FFT: Barry, do you have a favourite of John’s?
BD: His description of the winner in the 1984
European Championship semi-final.
JM: That was France vs Portugal – Jean Tigana
took over and laid on this great goal for Michel
Platini. I was screaming – that was as near as
I ever came to losin
to England, we had a producer at the BBC who
said, “John, well done at the Euros, but there
are a couple of opposing views about the way
you dealt with the winning goal for France.”
He said it as if half the department thought I’d
screamed my head off and it was horrible, and
the other half thought it was memorable. You
can’t please all of the people all of the time!
BD: That’s probably true about the pair of us,
that remark!
JM: Yeah! [Laughs]

FFT: As a commentator, do you get accused
of bias a lot?
BD: Oh… the moment a commentator opens
his mouth and says something a bit nice about
Team A, the fans of Team B think he’s against
them – that’s a fact.
JM: That happened to me a lot in the early-80s
JM: I don’t think Gareth Southgate is able to when Tottenham got to two cup finals. People
pick a midfielder who can do what Gazza did used to come up to me and say, “We all know
“I WAKE UP In A COLD SWEAT
– collect the ball on the turn, beat people, play you’re a Tottenham fan.” I’ve had other people
a penetrating pass and score a goal. He was come up to me before games and ask, “You’re
the complete midfielder. a Gooner, aren’t you?”
WOnDERInG WHAT WOULD HAVE
FFT: Barry, your commentary for Southgate’s BD: What?!
penalty miss is still iconic. JM: Yeah! The irony is – and this is something
I’ve not been accused of but can admit now –
BD: Well I didn’t say very much. Truthfully, as HAPPEnED IF ROnnIE RADFORD
Gareth ran up I wasn’t comfortable with it. If Chelsea were the team I saw the most during
you’d asked me if he was going to score, I felt the days with my dad. But once I’d started to
he wasn’t. But my reaction... HADn’T SCORED FOR HEREFORD” commentate, you’re neutral.
JM: “Oh no…” BD: I was a Spurs supporter as a kid, but I went
BD: It was just what everyone sitting at home to great lengths not to give it away. If I turned
would have said. Probably with a couple more three things before the match had kicked off – up at a ground, I wouldn’t wear a shirt or tie
adjectives added to, “Oh no...” one of which he’d say at the end, depending that might suggest it, and I don’t think people
JM: Yeah, that was exactly what you said and on the result. I could never do that – it has to could have pinned that.
it was just perfect. be spontaneous and it has to come from here.
FFT: After those words, Barry stayed silent... [Points to head] FFT: Are there any of your own commentary
JM: Yes he did – he was like the nation, really. BD: And from here... [Points to heart] lines that make you cringe if you hear them
f
BD: Then Terry Venables came on, put his arm JM: Absolutely – I can think of moments that back these days?
around Gareth and I said a few words. It was Barry captured brilliantly, and one or two I did BD: There’s quite a few of those! There’s also
a terrible moment for Southgate and a terrible where I thought, ‘That didn’t sound too bad’. one I didn’t say. When Charlie George scored
moment for England. The rhythm of Barry’s commentary was one in the cup final for Arsenal, I wanted Kenneth
of his great strengths. Wolstenholme to say, “By George!” Later on,
FFT: That was indeed awful, but what’s it like FFT: What’s your own favourite commentary he scored for Derby against Real Madrid at the
to commentate on a great football moment? line, and do you have a favourite of theirs? Baseball Ground and I thought, ‘You had your
BD: I just open my mouth and hope my foot is BD: Oh my goodness. I can’t even think of any chance and you missed it!’
sufficiently far away! I prepare for the match, of mine these days! JM: Oh, I’ve had that feeling. When Marco van
I do all my homework, but I don’t even like to FFT: We’ve always liked, “Brolin-Dahlin-Brolin” Basten scored that great volley in 1988, I wish
prepare the opening because sometimes I’ve for Sweden against England at Euro 92... I’d said, “That goal wasn’t made in Holland, it
seen matches, particularly abroad, where the BD: Yes – it was almost like a poetic sequence. was made in heaven.” You don’t know what
opening bears no relation whatsoever to the JM: I liked Barry’s commentary of the second you’re going to say. The one I laugh about, and
pictures. I hate that. Diego Maradona goal against England at the people remind me of, was when Wimbledon
JM: Yeah. This man will remain nameless, but 1986 World Cup – “Oh, you have to say that’s won the FA Cup against Liverpool, and I said
there’s a commentator who used to prepare magnificent.” It was all that needed to be said. the Crazy Gang had beaten the Culture Club.



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BD: That was a great line! JM: Yes. [Both raise their glasses] about that. We had this nip and tuck through
JM: That wasn’t written down or even thought BD: You mentioned Maradona and the 1986 the years, and it probably was a bit premature
about, it just fitted at the time. You mentioned World Cup earlier. I made a complete mess of when I did my first FA Cup final back in 1977.
Kenneth Wolstenholme, Barry – when Ken set the handball. I didn’t see it. But the important Looking back now, Barry should have had that.
out for the 1966 World Cup Final, he couldn’t thing about the second goal is that sometimes Then the World Cup became an issue as well.
possibly have thought, ‘I’m going to say they people think I said, “That was sheer football I had a poor World Cup in 1990, not up to my
think it’s all over, it is now’, as he would never genius.” But I did not – I said, “That was pure normal standard. Brian Barwick was the head
have known that people would be on the pitch. football genius.” The choice of that word was of football and chose to stick with me, rightly
BD: That was total simplicity. He can see there important, even though I didn’t think about it or wrongly. When we got to 1994, I sensed the
are people on the pitch, so he just says, “Some at the time. That was pure – what had gone time had come. Barry was in really good form
people are on the pitch.” A statement of fact. on before was cheating. and I wasn’t. I was in a bar with Terry Venables
He’s thinking, ‘Why are people on the pitch?’ JM: I think you’re playing yourself down by when I got a call. Barwick said, “Look, you may
“They think it’s all over.” Then Geoff Hurst, and saying you made a mess of it. A lot of people or may not be surprised about this, but we’re
bang. Ken’s great line was to say, “It is now.” watching that for the first time didn’t know it giving the final to Barry.” I just thought, ‘Yeah,
p
y
g
JM: “It is now” – that’s what made it. I don’t was handball either – and I was watching the well done Barry’. I phoned him straight away, y,
g
think any of us will ever beat that. game live in Guadalajara. and I was disappointed for him when it wasn’t
BD: I’ve seen quite a few people come and go BD: Years later, dear Lee Dixon – it was on the a very good final – not that my 1990 one was
in the length of my career, and I said to a few programme they put out on Match of the Day memorable, it was awful. You got one which
of them, “Don’t think you’re going to get the when I left – said, “Everyone knew what had was nearly as bad! [Laughs]
top line, because it’s already happened except the commentator!” [Laughs] BD: No I agree, I’ll accept you had the worst
been said!” We should Hey, I’m enjoying this! Are you? one – but you bloody deserved it because of
raise a glass to Ken JM: I’m having a great time. all the others. [Laughs]
and David Coleman JM: I got more out of myself
actually, because FFT: Barry, you covered one World because I knew that the
they moved out Cup final, in 1994. It was 0-0... competition was there all
of the way and BD: It was hard work. the time. Also, because
gave us our chance. JM: I just want to say one thing of the style thing we’ve

MOTTY
VS
BARRY






CLOUGH SAID: “HAVE



I GOT AnY AMBITIOnS


LEFT? YES – I WAnT



TO LAST LOnGER THAn



MOTSOn AnD DAVIES”






FFT: What’s it like to be national treasures?
JM: Oh! Are we?
FFT: You most certainly are! Do people still
stop you both in the street?
JM: I couldn’t fight them off when we arrived
today and I saw Barry! [Laughs] But people do
sometimes get the two of us mixed up. A fella
rang me from Manchester City a while ago and
said, “I’m so glad I’ve got hold of you. I want
you to talk me through the commentary you
did when Georgi Kinkladze scored his amazing
goal at Maine Road.” I let him finish and said,
“Excuse me, I think you’ll find I didn’t do that
match.” He said, “Yes, you did!” I said, “Look,
excuse me once again, but I remember goals.
I think you’ll find the commentator was Barry
Davies...” And it was!

FFT: John, you had your famous sheepskin
coat. Barry, did you ever consider donning
your own signature garment?
BD: People kept talking about the sheepskin
coat. A magazine asked me once and I said,
“I wore a sheepskin coat long before he did!”
JM: You did!
BD: Then I said, “And they’ve now gone out of
style!” [Laughs]
JM: Both yourself and Brian Moore had what
I’d call sheepskin jackets, whereas mine went
right down to my ankles. I went to a cup tie at
Wycombe, a second round game in December
1990 – how can I forget it. They were due to
play Peterborough, the snow came down and
the referee decided to call the game off. I was
standing there, about to start my Grandstand
preview with Martin O’Neill, and they said to
me, “Forget that, the game’s off, can you just
tell the viewers why?” So I stood in the freezing
cold with my silly cap on and the sheepskin,
and did a minute-and-a-half piece to camera.
BD: You did look very cold.
JM: I looked like the abominable snowman!

FFT: What was the rivalry with ITV like?
been talking about – even when I was doing about what happened. I hope you don’t, and JM: There was no Sky back then – it was BBC
cup finals, a lot of people used to say to me, I’m so pleased to be able to sit here today and vs ITV. It was hostile.
“I tell you what, I really like that Barry Davies.” have such a lot of fun. I’d never bear a grudge BD: Even if there was a game between the two
I wonder now, how many people walk around if I could help it, and he doesn’t. sets of staff, our boss said, “You will not play
the street discussing current commentators? BD: No, no. in that game.” He always refused to allow the
There are about 10 of them because there are JM: The thing about Barry is sometimes the BBC to play against ITV.
10 games now. There were only two back then. commentator should be spelt with a small ‘c’ JM: My first World Cup was West Germany in
Barry and I were very lucky – we were the only and the broadcaster with a capital ‘B’. [Points 1974. We were at the hotel in Frankfurt and
two on the BBC. It’s just nice to look back all at Davies] Capital ‘B’, at all times. ITV were staying there, too. I remember our
these years later and not feel any resentment BD: You’re very generous. boss saying, “You will not go to the bar if ITV


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are down there.” Alf Ramsey was working for
ITV and he said, “Even if it’s Alf Ramsey, you
won’t buy him a drink.” Even if it’s Alf Ramsey!
FFT: What did you make of Brian Clough?
JM: Captivating. My final interview with Brian
was in the stand at Nottingham Forest and by
then, unfortunately he... well, you know. But he
was sitting there being provocative as usual,
saying, “I’d sack the whole of the FA.” I said,
“You’re quite long in the tooth as a manager
now – have you got any real ambitions left?”
He said, [Puts on a Clough voice] “Yes – I want
to last even longer than you and Barry Davies!”
BD: I remember that!
JM: It threw me completely.
BD: It’s possibly the best compliment we ever
had! When he was at Derby, the place lit up.
I said to him, “If I could play to the standard
required, I would play for you for two reasons
– one, you’re a great coach; and two, to prove
you wrong when you left me out of the team.
You’re stick and carrot.” He said, “Isn’t that
the only way you can manage?” And it was.
JM: Other managers used to say, “He doesn’t
do any coaching, they just go for walks by the
Trent.” I asked him, “How do you respond to
accusations that you don’t do any coaching?”
Clough replied, [Puts on voice again] “I coach
every time I open my mouth, John.”

FFT: Barry, you left Match of the Day in 2004
but returned to commentate for the show’s
50th anniversary in 2014...
JM: Bravely I thought, having not done football
for a few years.
BD: A few years? You’re being kind – well, kind
or unkind, I’m not sure which! [Laughs]
JM: He was absolutely immaculate. I thought,
‘Crikey, he could still be doing it’. Probably still
now. He didn’t put a foot wrong.
BD: It was Crystal Palace against West Ham –
I walked from the tunnel to the commentary
position and the crowd were generous to me.
I got up to the gantry, and as I was walking to
my commentary seat there was a cameraman
walking backwards filming me. I thought, ‘I’m
rather enjoying this’, but suddenly I thought,
‘Yeah, it’s fine now, but if I make a mistake in
the first five minutes, they’ll be saying I was
never any good anyway!’
JM: It’s funny, because I did my last match at
Selhurst Park at the end of my last BBC season
in 2018, against West Brom. The same thing
happened to me – that hike around the pitch
and going up the ladder while the crowd were
applauding. I thought, ‘Oh God, this is all very
well, but if on my last day I get the goalscorer
wrong in a 1-0 win, how will I feel?’ Fortunately
the goals were quite straightforward, but we
have that place in common – Crystal Palace. moment, and he’s doing a great job. There is at any one time, it isn’t necessarily so that the
sometimes a debate about the formation that players are 4-3-3.” The press sometimes focus
FFT: Barry, Euro 2020 is coming this summer. England play, but we all get carried away with on if it’s a 5-3-2 or 4-3-3, but at different points
As the man who commentated on Gareth things like that. I believed in Total Football, just in the game, Gareth may do either.
Southgate’s penalty miss at Euro 96, how like the Dutch – everyone was in an attacking BD: I really think we should make a comeback!
pleased would you be if he guided England position when they had the ball, and everyone JM: Don’t speak too loud!
to glory at Wembley? was in a defensive position when they didn’t. FFT: Lots of people would be in favour of it…
BD: I’d be so delighted for him, and I think it’s JM: I’d go along with that. Roy Hodgson and BD: Come on, let’s go for it! It’s a very generous
been a major part in his attitude as a manager. I were talking and he said, “All this talk about observation, but it was a joke...
He knows how people feel in their very worst formations is overplayed – if you froze a game JM: A good one, though!


FourFourTwo February 2020 83

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GASCOIGnE

























































































GAZZA THE ENGLAND LEGEND
















Tears in Turin and rearranging Glenn Hoddle’s hotel room sandwiched Paul Gascoigne’s

Scotland stunner at Euro 96, creating the greatest tragic hero in English football history.
Now, a supporting cast of friends and foes tell FFT of his tumultuous Three Lions journey





Words Si Hawkins




84 February 2020 FourFourTwo

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GASCOIGNE

w











ou can tell that something genuinely remarkable is
happening, just from Colin Hendry’s face. The rugged
“BRYAn ROBSOn TOLD ME THE OnLY
Scotland centre-back always had a distinctive look –
fierce Highland warrior with the face of an old Russian
woman – but suddenly that stoic frame crumples with TIME HE GOT THE HAIRDRYER OFF
confusion. Against the run of play, a supposedly portly
and past-it Paul Gascoigne lifts the ball into a perfect
FERGIE WAS AFTER THE FIRST TIME
orbit over Hendry’s head, sprints like a naughty kid and
prepares to apply the coup de grace.
It wasn’t supposed to happen; according to a number of newspapers, HE FACED GAZZA AT nEWCASTLE”
Gascoigne shouldn’t even have been part of the England squad. A Mirror
survey suggested that 86 per cent of readers wanted him expelled from
Euro 96, after the Three Lions’ boozy warm-up antics in Hong Kong. It’s “Paul was already making a name for himself at St James’ Park with
now widely forgotten that he had been in consistently superb club form some astonishing ball control,” remembers Giller. “But you couldn’t help
during 1995-96, but no matter: that bewitching move against Scotland noticing that he looked a bit overweight. Jimmy used to start referring
turned popular opinion on its head. to him on screen as ‘Fat Boy’ and the ‘Mars Bar Kid’, but rather than get
Two days later, the Mirror famously published a public climbdown: “To annoyed, Gazza played up to it.”
Mr Paul Gascoigne: an Apology,” conceding the “fat, drunken imbecile” He would often bite on a lobbed Mars Bar for a laugh, although that
was now his country’s saviour. Again. But then Euro 96 summed up the was another concern.
player’s international career: heavy scepticism, followed by breathtaking “It quickly got around that Gazza had special talent,” continues Giller.
brilliance and a climatic, agonising near-miss. “I remember Dave Sexton telling me after he selected him for England
“He was a bunch of contradictions,” explains journalist Henry Winter, Under-21s: ‘Paul’s got the best ball control of any British footballer I’ve
who devoted a whole chapter to the midfielder in 2016 book, 50 Years seen since George Best, but I think he plays to the gallery too much. I’ve
of Hurt. “I’ve always thought that Shakespeare – without going too Alan recommended him to Bobby Robson for the senior team, but he needs
Partridge here – would have had an absolute field day with Gascoigne.” to be told he’s a professional footballer, not a circus clown.’”
Despite his well-documented (or, more accurately, badly documented) The 1990 World Cup seemed a long way off. Gascoigne’s first taste of
off-stage exploits, Gascoigne is arguably England’s most popular player tournament action was Toulon with the under-21s in 1987: he needed
ever. He is Gazza. Today we tend to view that story as more tragedy than a couple of pre-flight brandies, and the physio to hold his hand during it.
comedy, but he packed more joy and drama into 57 appearances than England finished fifth.
umpteen golden generation centurions put together. He also underwhelmed at Spurs initially. Then-youth team midfielder
His is a tale of three major tournaments – one of which he didn’t even Jeff Minton was a Gazza protégé, and would also feature in his last great
reach in the end – and his impact transcended the game. He might just game. “When he first came to Tottenham he was quite chubby,” recalls
have changed the world, a bit. Minton. “But that was his thing: great body strength. He’d use his arms
and you couldn’t get near him.”
England always seemed wary of mercurial midfielders – Bobby Robson
THE GAME-CHAnGER: ITALIA 90
According to Mark Perryman – the notable England follower, author and had dropped Glenn Hoddle in favour of the more predictable Neil Webb
Philosophy Football co-founder – pretty much the whole modern game – but were then totally outclassed at Euro 88. English clubs’ post-Heysel
is down to Gascoigne. Including this magazine, perhaps, which launched ban from Europe was blamed, but new ideas were needed. Enter Gazza,
in 1994. Italia 90 changed everything. who made his debut against Denmark that September. He didn’t shine
“The Premier League and the Champions League were both formed in straight away, but quickly made a mark off the pitch. Fellow newcomer
1992 – neither would have happened if it wasn’t for Gascoigne,” he tells Paul Parker got an early taste of the jovial Geordie’s anti-boredom antics
FFT. “Gascoigne as an individual in the England team proved – not only in an Albanian hotel.
to the FA, but to sponsors and broadcasters – that despite an incredibly “He was breaking up bits of soap and chucking it at chickens,” explains
dark period in the ’80s, football had the potential to reach parts of the Parker. “Then he started throwing little lapel badges – a handful at some Below and right
English population that no one else could.” guy on a bike, then other people dived for them and I think the rider cut From Geordie gem
Gazzamania was fairly extraordinary, and unprecedented as well. Chat his head. Then Bobby Robson came in, looked down and started to laugh. in 1985 to England
royalty Terry Wogan introduced him as “probably the most popular man Because it was Gazza.” lionheart in 1990
in Britain today” in September 1990, before worrying for his welfare. The
drunk George Best interview on his show happened that same month.
Hype aside, one reason for Gazza’s appeal is that his career was geared
towards the national team. Fellow North East native Gary Pallister played
behind the Gateshead-born midfielder for England B, the full squad and
then eventually Middlesbrough, and reckons he was destined to replace
England’s previous generation.
“The kid was an absolute genius,” Pallister recalls to FFT. “Bryan Robson
told me that the only time he got the hairdryer off Alex Ferguson was the
first time United played against Gazza at St James’ Park: ‘Any chance of
you getting closer to him?’ He gave him a torrid time – I don’t think he’d
ever seen a talent like him. And for a guy like Bryan Robson to say that…”
The ‘new Bryan Robson’ idea would actually be Fergie’s sales pitch in
the summer of ’88, after Newcastle’s lack of ambition caused discontent.
However, Tottenham boss Terry Venables gazumped him by promising
to get Gazza into the national team. And he did, although England were
unsure for a long time. The regular refuelling was an early worry.
Legendary writer and Three Lions insider Norman Giller is a long-time
Spurs and Gascoigne fan. Giller’s best mate Jimmy Greaves – a previous
England maverick who scored 44 goals in 57 games – had a hand in an
early Gazza phenomenon: chocolate missiles. They would watch ITV’s
live feed together on Saturdays.



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GASCOIGnE

PAUL
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Gascoigne’s oddly candid autobiography is awash with eyebrow-raising
tales. At Italia 90 alone he confesses to almost crashing the team plane,
“THE HARDEST THInG WAS TRYInG
yanking Gary Lineker’s wife off a boat and starting the hotel room larks
that forced Bryan Robson home injured – a novel way to pass the torch.
The 23-year-old belatedly made the squad thanks to an inspired display TO KEEP HIM CALM, AnD STOPPInG
against Czechoslovakia, but England’s dour group stage opener with the
Republic of Ireland quelled thoughts of a skilful new dawn.
HIM MAKInG AnY RASH DECISIOnS
The national mood swing began against the Netherlands, who stuffed
Bobby Robson’s charges at Euro 88 en route to glory. But with one Ronald
Koeman-baffling Cruyff turn, Gazza rubbished the notion that England WHICH COULD GET HIM InJURED”
were backwards luddites. He then set up the winners against Egypt and
Belgium, was reckless but redeemed against Cameroon in the last eight
– conceding then creating penalties – and the Three Lions were unlikely Home would become increasingly traumatic, but at least the welcome
semi-finalists. Gazza was playmaker and chief cheerleader: when Paul was warm. Gascoigne received a suitably Beatles-like reception at Luton
Parker deflected in West Germany’s opener, then delivered the cross for Airport (he’s named after Paul McCartney, after all), but would eventually
Lineker’s equaliser, guess who was first with the hugs. wonder if the infamous bus-top fake boobs (right) were thrust at him by
“Gazza was such an emotional guy,” reveals Parker. “I think that game a newspaper rather than an admirer. He initially revelled in Gazzamania
just meant so much to him. He wanted to win everything – a tackle, or if – lucrative records, books and endorsements – but regretted his tabloid
he took someone on he had to beat them. But he got frustrated if things newspaper column. It irked their competitors and “even The Sun weren’t
didn’t go his way.” always nice to me, either”.
Indeed, he would soon be in tears after a tournament-curtailing yellow Early-90s Fleet Street, says Henry Winter, “was in a brutal circulation
card, while a nation wept with him. Gascoigne was supremely relatable. war, particularly between The Sun and the Mirror. You would almost have
“The morning of the World Cup semi-final, a front-page headline read, two people on each paper, one pro-Gazza and one against. But everyone
‘There will be war in Turin tonight’,” says Mark Perryman. “The media has knew that he was box office.”
changed a lot now, and obviously Gazza is a massive part of that. Today New England manager Graham Taylor wasn’t convinced, however, and
we’re a bit more tuned into different versions of masculinity.” sensationally dropped Gascoigne against Ireland (“it happened to a few
Times writer Alyson Rudd was also a groundbreaker, as a high-profile of us,” admits a still-sore Paul Parker). As Glenn Hoddle later discovered,
female sports journalist in the early-90s. She isn’t Gazza’s No.1 fan, but keeping Gazza on the sidelines was troublesome. Bryan Robson would
has previously written about his impact; the tears in particular. Overnight, coach him at Euro 96, then manage him for Middlesbrough.
a whole new demographic – particularly women – viewed footballers in “In terms of looking after Gazza on the training pitch, it was easy,” he
a different light. “I think people who didn’t watch much football just saw tells FFT. “He just loved playing football; training sessions and the games.
something that was… lovely,” she tells FFT. “I do have vague memories The hardest thing was trying to keep him calm, and stopping him making
of some of my relatives saying, ‘Why is it so important, why is he crying?’ any rash decisions which could get him injured.”
Once they know what’s going on, they think, ‘Oh, I’ll definitely watch the That all-or-nothing exuberance would ultimately derail his career. In
next game’. It’s a soap opera.” But would Gazza be the hero or villain? 1991, Spurs were skint and desperate for a good cup run; Gascoigne was
struggling with injuries, but perennially keen.
“He’d train with the first team and then come and train with us,” says
BOOBS, KnEES AnD BALLS-UPS: 1990-95
There’s a telling sentiment in Gascoigne’s book, My Story, after the tears. youth team-mate Minton. “He was really hyped up a few days before the
FA Cup final. It was
“I didn’t want to go home,” he sighs. “I wanted to stay in Italy, playing in Clockwise from top mental, and that spilled over into the game – all the
the World Cup forever.” Plenty of space left caused his knee injury.”
over-enthusiasm
for that Champions
The cup-final cruciate ligament injury – followed by a pub-fight relapse
– ruled him out for
League tattoo; V dal 16 months. And yet Lazio still spent a British transfer
record £5.5 million
was key to Chilean on him in 1992. He was box office – and it cast a huge
glory at the last two struggling England side.
shadow over Taylor’s
Copas America to
Gascoigne missed an anaemic Euro 92, but qualification for the 1994
become a national promisingly. He excelled as England surged 2-0 ahead
World Cup began
hero; bu he wasn’tbut then Jan Wouters’ elbow fractured his cheekbone
against the Dutch,
n archetypal Pep nosedived. The increasingly erratic pass master even
and the campaign
helped motivate
player; “So whosetheir other main opponents. Blurting, “F**k off Norway”
round is it next?” even in jest – came back to haunt him several times, not
at a TV crew –
least when they nabbed England’s spot at USA 94.
The Gazza fascination clearly travels – and prevails. Norwegian director
Tom Storvik is currently putting together a Gascoigne film, with a Game
of Thrones star rumoured to be portraying him. “We do plan on including
that scene in the film: it both made him popular and unpopular,” reveals
the director. “Some people loved him for all his antics, while some felt it
was unnecessary. His sense of humour transcends borders.”
Storvik is particularly interested in that 1990-96 timeline. “He’s one of
the most famous footballers in history,” he enthuses. “However, very few
people know of his life off the pitch, when you look away from what the
tabloids tried to pass as ‘fact’.”
The rabid red-tops were now drastically affecting Gascoigne’s life, but
thankfully his on-field career picked up. Moving from Rome to Rangers Right and left
worked: he won Scotland’s player of the year prize in 1995-96, and made Causing a stir as
a successful international comeback after playing only twice for England England’s Italia
from early February 1993 to March 1995. 90 heroes come
Indeed, Gazza later wrote that new gaffer Terry Venables “said he was home; before
thinking he might make me England captain” – but the player demurred making a splash
after foreseeing further press intrusion. at Lazio in 1992



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GASCOIGNE

PAUL
GASCOIGnE





GAZZA COMES HOME: EURO 96
England’s pre-tournament trip to Hong Kong certainly caused interest.
“WHEn HE GOT BACK TO RAnGERS
Gascoigne scuffled on the flight over, which wasn’t reported, and angrily
broke stuff when someone happy-slapped him on the journey home. The
squad took collective responsibility there, but the papers actively blamed AFTER EURO 96, HE DIDn’T RUB OUR
him for the ripped-shirt ‘dentist’s chair’ night out celebrating his birthday,
as if he’d led the entire team astray.
nOSES In IT – THAT WAS A SHOCK.
“Things like that stick in the players’ throats,” says Pallister, who was in
that squad before injury struck. “It’s something you can really do without
before a big tournament. At Manchester United, there would always be WE THOUGHT HE’D SLAUGHTER US”
a negative story before a cup final. You’d come to expect it.”
The hacks did appear to have a point, however, as Euro 96 got going:
Gascoigne was dragged off as England fizzled against Switzerland, then more than a standard lamp. I think many of us disagreed with Glenn at
looked lost against Scotland. But then came that goal; divine inspiration the time, but looking back it was the right decision. He had Paul Scholes
to cement a legend. The celebration is iconic, but wasn’t totally popular coming through, and a new way of playing.”
at the time. Having inadvertently helped to diversify football’s audience, Gascoigne had been overtaken by a modern football culture that he’d
Gascoigne now seemed to endorse that regressive, mid-90s lad culture. arguably helped create. But while we tend to remember a rapid decline,
But it made a point. 1998-99 was actually a good season for him at new club Middlesbrough.
Indeed, Mark Perryman claims that goal was hugely significant: it may They finished 9th and England rumours resurfaced. “That creativity and
have even saved the United Kingdom. With John Major still in power, talk genius would still come out,” says Pallister, then back with Boro as well.
of Scottish devolution abounded; Gazza was even asked to fly the flag “If he’d never done that cruciate with Spurs, I think we’d be calling him
for European unification and plant a tree in Rome by the UK government. the best English player ever.”
“Don’t ask me what that was about,” a befuddled Gascoigne later said, Sympathy wasn’t always forthcoming, though: in 2000, Middlesbrough
although he exchanged letters with Major anyway (cheekily addressing tried to boost his fitness with a summer loan move… to Norway. Several
him as ‘John’ in his response). coaches responded less than politely. “Ha ha ha,” scoffed Viking’s Benny
“I’ve had this conversation a lot,” explains Perryman. “What if Scotland Lennartsson. “That’s my answer.”
had won? It’s obvious: they would have voted for independence.” Even then, World Cup hopes flickered. In January 2002 the midfielder,
Then-Rangers club-mate and Scotland foe Stuart McCall was surprised now at Everton, terrorised Leyton Orient in the FA Cup, and the BBC ran
at Gascoigne’s behaviour upon his return to Ibrox for pre-season. “I think a poll: “Does Gazza deserve an England recall?” Forty-two per cent of the
if Scotland had beaten England, a few of us would have given it to Gazza replies said yes. An old Spurs colleague chased shadows that afternoon.
for about six months,” he tells FFT. “But I must say, when he came back “He was incredible, five yards ahead of everyone,” recalls Jeff Minton,
he was very humble and didn’t rub our noses in it at all. That was a shock who runs a company called Unique Sportswear these days. “We’ll never
because we thought he’d slaughter us. He was good as gold.” see someone like that again. Even in that match, he was trying to help
The nation got seriously giddy when England handed the Netherlands me on the pitch – ‘Don’t stand still, keep on your toes, keep moving’. He
some long overdue payback in their final group match, with Gascoigne was the world’s best player once, and so generous. It’s such a shame.”
gliding through their defence like a bleached swan. Yet his tournament Finding Gazza fans isn’t hard, but the question will forever beg of what Below and right
would end with an enduring question, after his late tap-in miss against he could have been – the legend transcends the player, after all. Might Gazza didn’t blow
Germany. Would he have reached that ball without the booze? It rather he have enjoyed a different career if he’d joined Alex Ferguson in 1988? his own trumpet
neglected the impressive extra-time run that got him anywhere near it. “At Spurs he was allowed to play in a role that suited him,” says Rudd. back at Rangers
“He actually had amazing natural fitness,” says Henry Winter. “Partly “Slightly more relaxed in the disciplinary sense, and a bit more jolly. In after Euro 96 (after
it was willpower, to get the ball and then impress everyone. But it was Manchester, I don’t think it would have worked.” previously playing
nervous energy as well.” In fact, knowing Fergie, he might well have pulled Gazza out of those a flute...); a good
That night, Gascoigne returned to the team hotel, “ran to my room and Italia 90 warm-up games and none of this would ever have happened. day with England
had a good cry” – after pouring a tub of ketchup all over Robbie Fowler. No World Cup run. No diverse new football audience. No Premier League. manager Hoddle,
No Champions League. No FourFourTwo, even. but they wouldn’t
Or maybe we’d now be reminiscing about Neil Webbamania instead. last much longer
HODDLE BEARS THE BRUnT: FRAnCE 98
You might imagine that Gascoigne and new England boss Glenn Hoddle
would be kindred spirits football-wise, but alas: Hoddle was a born-again
Christian and faith-healer enthusiast, while Gazza was getting IRA death
threats after playing a faux-flute during an Old Firm derby (right). They
were never going to be fake-bosom buddies. Journalist Alyson Rudd has
an added theory. “Most managers are tougher on players who play a bit
like them,” she says. “You don’t want someone who reminds you of what
you were when you were younger.”
Hoddle was actually criticised for picking him early on, after disturbing
images of Paul’s battered wife Sheryl emerged. A grimmer Gazzamania
was apparent. His book turns positively Macbeth-like here: guilt, paranoia,
obsession. Yet he rallied when England came calling, playing with superb
discipline in their 1997 qualifier against Italy at Rome’s Stadio Olimpico.
The lure of the World Cup, safely secluded with the lads, was everything.
But then a calamitous cocktail of high-profile pub crawls and poor form
in warm-up games exhausted Hoddle’s patience. Perhaps just phoning
Gazza at home would have been wiser, though.
“I was in La Manga when he lost it,” says Winter, who views Gascoigne
and ‘Gazza’ as almost rival alter-egos. The former could be impressively
thoughtful about the game, but “there was the dark side, too”.
Did he really trash Hoddle’s room? “I think the press got a bit carried
away,” suggests Winter. “And to be honest, if someone had just broken
my heart with Kenny G playing in the background, I may have taken out



90 February 2020
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GASCOIGNE

“I’LL GIVE YOU













EVERYTHInG FOR












nICK BARMBY…”












Panini stickers have swept school
playgrounds and excitable offices for

decades – but how did it all begin?
FourFourTwo charts the highs and lows

of a global phenomenon. Got, got, need…






Words Alex Reid



PAnInI




















































ingers tremble with hope as our our wo rips open an original
pack of Panini Euro 96 stickers. An unlikely dream result from
our 21st-century purchase would be a national team shiny,
Scotland hotshot Ally McCoist, England hotshot Alan Shearer
(with bonus hair), Zinedine Zidane (also with bonus hair) and MAXWELL InSTALLED A CEO WHOSE BIG IDEAS
at least one Euro 96 cult figure: Bulgaria goalkeeper Borislav
Mihailov (with suspiciously bonus hair) or Czech wizard Karel RAn FROM THEME PARKS TO BRAnDED COnDOMS
Poborsky (his luscious locks all natural).
The first sticker staring right back at us reads ‘Birmingham’.
It’s a host city sticker and, with all due respect to the Venice
of the North, not quite the opener we wanted. This is followed
F by Steffen Freund, Emil Kostadinov, the Dutch national team
– blissfully unaware of the 4-1 hammering that’s to come – and Oceano, their own cards. They wisely figured that if Italians were going potty for
the Portugal midfielder, although we’re fairly sure he doubles as a FIFA water lilies, then a collection based around the national passion of calcio
continental territory. Who’s next? Turkish defender Concacaf? would hit the back of the net.
Then, last but the opposite of least, we find him: a perfectly preserved And so it proved. For that debut 1961 album, a packet contained two
Patrik Berger. Handsome and superbly mulleted, the Czech Republic and cards – which presumably made uncovering a swap doubly disappointing
later Liverpool hero is freed from his packaging after 24 years spent lying – and cost 10 lire (a few pennies). The Panini group flogged three million
in wait. We punch the air as if we, too, had scored a penalty against the packets in their first year, 15 million in their second year, then 29 million
Germans in a European Championship final. in their third. A collecting craze was sweeping Italy. It wasn’t until 1970,
This is the ageless appeal of stickers. From nostalgia to new collection, however, that Panini stamped its mark on a global audience. That World
it’s the tiny thrill felt in revealing the mystery of what’s inside a pack, be Cup album, complete with multi-language captions and official Mexico
it your favourite player, a shiny or, yes, even Birmingham 70 logos and design, represented a turning point for the
Rotunda. It’s been the same since Panini began in 1961 company. It was their first international launch, and it
– but along the way there have been spectacular ups and was a tremendous success.
suitably sticky downs. Looking back at it now, what’s remarkable is how the
Tough-tackling Italy midfielder and ex-Inter captain Panini design classic has endured. True, there wasn’t the
Bruno Bolchi has an extra honour to go with his Serie A sought-after treasure of the shiny – that was introduced
and European Cup medals. Bolchi was the first football in the 1980s following a brief flirtation with ‘silk’ textured
sticker ever produced by the Panini organisation for its badges – but the format is startlingly familiar, given that
Calciatori (‘Football Players’) album in the early-60s. We the 1970 World Cup album turns 50 this summer. It was
say ‘sticker’, but back then a rather crucial element was largely divided into team double-page spreads made up
missing. Without any self-adhesive backs, which were of head-and-shoulders player stickers, a squad picture,
gradually introduced in the late-60s and early-70s, they a national team badge and a flag. When a model works
were actually cards that needed to be pasted into the so well, why try to fix it?
album with your own glue. But one market that Panini hadn’t cracked in 1970 was
The company, started by Benito and Giuseppe Panini – Britain. Although cigarette trading cards had long been
and later joined by fellow brothers, Franco and Umberto popular among playground collectors as well as smokers,
– had purchased a job lot of unwanted collectable cards the self-adhesive sticker album was years from becoming
from a Milanese company in 1960. a phenomenon. The München 74 World Cup album (left)
They were mainly of plants and flowers, but after the could be found in the UK, but the company’s campaign
packets shifted quickly, the brothers decided to create to conquer Blighty really kicked off with Euro Football 77.


94 February 2020 FourFourTwo

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An oddity when compared with
Panini’s all-conquering domestic
football albums to come, it was
an all-sorts collection of badges, The battle, captured superbly in Greg Lansdowne’s
team shots and big names from book Stuck On You, was originally settled when Sun
Europe’s elite clubs, containing editor Kelvin MacKenzie went to Italy for his team’s
everything from an incredibly ales pitch to Panini, threw his wallet on the table and
young Michel Platini (far left) to sked what it would take to get a deal over the line.
a Southampton squad picture. ot one to accept defeat, furious Mirror owner Robert
Crucially, Panini arranged a deal axwell published his own football sticker collection,
with Shoot! – the nation’s most d when it flopped he purchased the Panini company
popular children’s magazine – to give away an album lf in 1988.
and stickers on launch in January 1977. hat was the beginning of a decline. Maxwell cleaned
It was the start of a fruitful collaboration with print Panini’s cash reserves, then borrowed money against
publishers that would eventually result in a pitched value of the firm. He also installed a flamboyant CEO
battle for Panini’s future. However, before that came d Keith Bales, whose ideas for growing the company
the arrival of Football 78, produced under a licence reportedly ran from Panini-inspired theme parks to
from the PFA. The album laid down the template for i-branded condoms.
Panini’s domestic dominance. It featured England’s as a slippery slope indeed, particularly as Panini now
top tier, from Arsenal to Wolves, and included shiny mpetitors vying for a piece of the lucrative British pie.
badges and individual player pictures, plus England’s th The Sun and The Mirror releasing their own sticker albums
Second Division and the Scottish Premier Division. It enever they didn’t secure a Panini partnership, and The Orbis
was a formula to stand the test of time. In ’78, Panini otball Collection also weighing in, the marketplace was getting
shifted 80 million packets of stickers in Britain. By the owded. While competition can be good for business, football
time of Football 87, it was up to 100 million per year – tickers is one industry where a one-company monopoly helps
enough stickers to fill more than a million UK albums. he consumer – otherwise, kids are swapping alternative brands
What’s intriguing about Panini’s boom in the ’80s – t school, then suddenly discovering they have the wrong John
and hard times of the ’90s – is that these two decades Barnes for their own collection.
were the opposite way around for the popularity of the The most successful of these newcomers was Merlin, set up
game itself in England. Hooliganism and tumbling live by some of the people who had made Panini UK so prosperous.
attendances meant football was deeply out of fashion Significantly, they finalised a deal with the fledgling Premier
in the ’80s, which contrasted sharply to its acclaim in League to create their official sticker albums, kicking off with
the ’60s and ’70s. But it remained the national game, Premier League 94.
and perhaps kids who weren’t being taken to matches Panini were under new ownership as of 1992; the aftermath
by concerned parents got their fix by trading stickers. of Maxwell’s death in 1991 revealed the depth of his dodgy
For the sport’s broader popularity, the 1990s proved usiness practices and his empire soon collapsed. But Panini had
a different kettle of fish. England’s surge to the World y now lost ground on their rivals, as well as their deal to cover the
Cup semi-finals sparked a renewed interest, especially English top flight. Meanwhile, the Three Lions’ failure to qualify for
when followed by the Premier League’s arrival a couple USA 94 meant that year’s World Cup album wasn’t a big seller in
of years later. It all culminated in the staging of Euro 96, Britain. Panini was listing like the Tower of Pisa. However, as with
and football in England suddenly became cooler than that other famous Italian institution, the fall never came.
ever. However, for Panini the ’90s was actually a decade
they would sooner forget. Spider-Man and the Silver Surfer guard the entrance to Panini’s
They were victims of their own success, and the seeds Modena home. The lifesize models are a colourful reminder that,
of demise were planted in an extraordinary 1986 bidding while most football fans will associate Panini only with the sport,
war. Such was the impact of a Panini album-plus-stickers the company has expanded into a variety of areas. As well as the
giveaway on the sales of a publication, the biggest-selling lucrative Marvel/Disney brand, there are sticker albums based on
newspapers fought tooth and nail to be their UK partner. everything from the NFL to Peppa Pig.


FourFourTwo February 2020 95

PAnInI





THESE FAMOUS FIGURES
HAVE HELPED TO SHAPE
THE ICONS THE STICKER CRAZE...




BRUNO BOLCHI (1961)
BR B
I ter’s then-captain
w as the first Panini
st ticker ever printed,
b ut the front cover
o f the first Calciatori
a
album was a shot
of a Milan legend –
o o
S S
Swedish playmaker
Nils Liedholm –
N N
heading a football.
PELE (1970)

Much cherished by
collectors, Mexico
70 was Panini’s first
global smash and
there’s no doubt
which sticker was
wanted the most.
An album signed
by Pele was sold Y England, officially returning to the party
Yet football is the cornerstone
for more than of f Panini. The calcio logo, of Carlo after a rights dispute with the FA meant
£10,000 in 2017. Pa imitation images had to be used in 2014).
arola’s spectacular volley, is on
one boardroom wall in epic scale. If that isn’t hard enough, Panini also have
DI
DIEGO MARADONA (1986) After a tough decade, Panini was to showcase their football expertise when
Th e world’s best player back under Italian ownership in it comes to major tournaments. The global
as so popular that you
wa 1999 and their fortunes began to scale of their production means stickers
ne improve. Crucially, they kept their and albums have to be put together long
eeded to trade at least
1 0 stickers at school to contract for major international before squads are announced – just a few
g g et your hands on one tournaments, and the first signs weeks prior to the competition’s kick-off –
p p recious Diego – which of a major rebirth came in 2006. so Panini must make some well-educated
is Germany hosted that World Cup guesses as to who will make the final cut,
s roughly the number
of England players he
o to great acclaim, and the triumph and who won’t.
skipped past to score
s of the tournament was mirrored As Stefano Melegari, senior sport editor
his golazo in Mexico. by a renewed interest in collecting for Panini, tells FFT, this became a massive
stickers. That trend continued in story in 2014 when a certain forward was
GIANLUIGI BUFFON (1995) 2010 and then reached fever pitch conspicuous by his absence.
A self-confessed fan with the Brazil 2014 album’s “The German journalists arrived in Modena,
of Panini stickers, the worldwide success. saw the pages of the album and noticed that
legendary custodian In Britain, this resurgence was driven Mario Gomez wasn’t in the collection,” laughs
has featured in more by playground addicts of a few decades Melegari, remembering their reaction: “‘Wow,
than 30 albums and earlier indulging in some retro fun. Many guys, you are completely crazy! Gomez will be
counting. Gigi made were roping in their own children as an one of our most important players.’
his debut in Italy’s excuse or doing it with their colleagues, “Then, a week before the World Cup began,
e
Calciatori 1995-96 heading to the workplace with a stack of Joachim Löw announced the final squad – and
h
when he was just s waps. City traders in London, who may Gomez was out. The story changed to ‘Panini
ave honed their business skills at school
a fresh-faced teen ha knew two months before! They had a secret’.”
with Parma. Aww. by Panini’s ‘secret’ is nothing more complicated
y negotiating exactly how many stickers
Manchester United shiny was worth, were
a M than a fastidious attention to detail. They have
ARIO BALO ELLI competing with each other to see who could developed a winning formula, stuck to it (no
A
014) complete their album first. pun intended) and never let standards drop.
A A An Social media may seem like the opposite of In Italy, there’s an old saying about football:
nother lover of Panini
(a nd of himself), the Panini’s simple joy, yet it helped stir the loins. it’s the most important of the least important
s st triker posted a snap On Twitter, #GotGotNeed trended as folk tried things in life. That probably applies to sticker
o o f the Italy spread in to find those urgent numbers needed to finish collecting, although when you rip open a pack
B B razil 2014 with each a team or the whole book. and find that player you desperately desire –
player slot covered
p p Key to their success lies in taking something whether it’s Patrik Berger in 1996 or Mohamed
b b that is incredibly complex to put together and Salah today – it feels pretty damn important
by a sticker of Super
Mario. The caption?
M M making it look easy. In the Russia 2018 World for that brief moment.
‘ ‘ Why always me?’ of Cup collection, for example, Panini had to keep
c long-standing partner FIFA contented as well Panini’s ‘Football 2020’ – their first ever Premier
course. Nicely done.
as all 32 national team federations (including League sticker collection – is out in shops now


96 February 2020 FourFourTwo

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GARETH
SOUTHGATE












“WHY DIDn’T YOU

Gareth Southgate made the long walk
from halfway with England’s


Euro 96 semi-final hopes in his hands –
then watched in horror as it all


went terribly wrong. What followed meant
his life was never the same again,

featuring media hounding, mad ads…
and even stick from his mum



Words Ryan Herman

GARETH
SOUTHGATE





















































































here was one topic that wasn’t
supposed to be on the agenda
when FourFourTwo interviewed
Gareth Southgate for our cover
story in November 1996. It was En
ngland and Germany had both emphatically converted
a subject that had already been n five
e penalties – Alan Shearer and Thomas Hassler; David
dissected, analysed, sliced and Pla tt and Thomas Strunz; Stuart Pearce and Stefan Reuter;
ul Gascoigne and Christian Ziege; Teddy Sheringham
diced by every hack with a story y Pau
to spin; examined by academics an d Stefan Kuntz. They all combined to ensure the hosts’
about its effects on the nationa al ho pes rested on a greenhorn defender stepping up first in
psyche; and even fussed over by y su dden death. It seems almost cruel in hindsight, ending
T physicists looking for the perfec ct as it did with the addition of another sorry chapter in the
equation to prevent it from happening again. Th ree Lions’ sob annals. Andreas Kopke denied him from
Even so... we could hardly ignore that penalty. 12 yards, and his strutting namesake Moller ruined the party for a nation
As fellow members of the Sorry Shootout Club, Stuart Pearce and Chris unequipped for the giant comedown.
Waddle knew what Gareth was going through following his nightmare If only that was where it finished for poor Southgate, whose life was
moment on June 26, 1996. At the 1990 World Cup they, too, had missed about to be turned upside down. Four years earlier, he had watched his
when it mattered in a semi-final against (West) Germany. But this time country fail to win a game at Euro 92 in Sweden. The tournament is all
felt different. This time, England were riding a wave of national euphoria but forgotten in England; it’s almost easier to accept being so bad. But
in their own country. This time, only a penalty shootout separated them in an interview with The Independent later in 1996, Southgate admitted
from a Wembley final as favourites against the Czech Republic. And this to something of a premonition. “I’d thought, in a sort of fantasy world,
time, when it went wrong, Southgate would shoulder the burden alone. that the European Championship in England would be an ideal time to



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